a Gypsie to her and Helen a Black Dowdy I 'le outlie him if possible Cic. So fair and rich Bug. Richer than Croesus she spends more in a year Than his Catholick Majesty has been cozen'd of Since the first discovery of America Fur. This is nothing Sir they say that Gold is more Plentiful with her than Mackarel in their Season or Cherryes at a Crania a pound Bug. He 'll outdo me in my own Art Cic. VVhy knew I not this sooner Fur. I thought your VVorships capering days VVere done and that you wou'd not have committed Your grave head to the Matrimonial Noose At these years Cic. At these years Knave do I look so old Bug. Young as a stripling of eighteen Fur. Or a Cherry in May you are green agen Cic. I think I am as fresh and vigorous as VVhen I went to School Bug. Y' are like the year Sir and ev'ry spring renew your youth Fur. As Girles in Rome their Maidenâ—heads But you have a Daughter Sir Cic. VVhat then because she 'll pine away with the Sorrel sickness and die for Love must I not marry Bug. 'T were pitty on your life else Fur. She grieves poor Lady and sees no body Cic. She 'll be less subject to temptation I must Mind my own affairs first Enter Riccamare Ric. Save you good Brother Cic. Is he come to interrupt us dear Buggio Let 's to th' Window Ric. VVhat have you found your Daughter yet Bug. Now are we lost without a double brazen impudence Cic. Is he mad found my Daughter when was She lost Ric. Not lost Bug. He has certainly a design upon your VVidow And wou'd keep you off with a Tale Of your Daughter Cic. A Tale of a Tub I 'le hear none of 't I must Beg your pardon I 'me engag'd about a business VVhich concerns me nearly Ric. You 'll hear of your Daughter first Cic. I hear of her too much she 's above weeping but I am in haste Exeunt Cicco Furfante Bug. VVhat speedy wings does avarice bestow On creeping age he flyes that scarce cou'd go Exit Ric. VVeeping in her Chamber 't is strange nay 'T is impossible I left her but even now With Garbato plighting amorous Vows His strange behaviour much amazes me I know not what to think less what to do My whole design to supplant Arabella And make my self as next a Kin his heir is lost He 's damn'd in his belief that she 's above I 'me in a mist yet sometimes things appear At a great distance when they 're near at hand So painted Prospects do deceive the Eye And seems remote when on a flat they lie So may my fortune I 'le have th' other pluck If then I fail a plague of all ill luck Exit Scena Quarta Honorio Clara as a Page Constantia Hon. It was a little piece of charity To send thee back to be my Comforter Cla. I wish 't were in my power but for me Who am the very abstract of misfortune To undertake anothers grief wou'd prove Too great a madness and too little love Con. Thou art deceiv'd sorrows find most relief In stories like themselves Hon. Therefore dear Boy Impart this History if it be sad 'T will better suit our thoughts Cla. I am so young you cannot well expect Various adventures from my Childish Love Yet old enough for Loves severity Who quickly found a passage to my heart Which soon ador'd an object much too fair Not to be predispos'd of things of value Are coveted by all and I soon found love Had preingag'd that heart t'another Which my soul languish'd for Con. Alas poor Boy Cla. Yet to this grief there did succeed a joy For that heart being refus'd I thence deriv'd A fresh and lingring hope Hon. Why that was well Cla. That seeming heaven did increase my torment For I by Nature bashful had not then the courage To speak my Love of which they 're ignorant And I by consequence must always pine Unable to assist my own design Hon. Thy fate 's severe but 't is thy folly Boy Which makes it so But cruel Love so crosses my design My Mistress cannot if she wou'd be mine Cla. And 't is as much impossible for me T' express my flame as 't is for her to love But if you 'd please to undertake my cause I know it wou'd succeed Hon. I cannot Boy I 've bound my self by Oath Never to speak of Love to Woman more Cla. As from your self you still may speak for me Con. Dear Brother do I pitty his misfortune Hon. My vow was general concerning Love But you are free Constantia Con. 'T is not a thing for me to undertake That always have in love been so succesless Hon. May we not know her name Cla. 'T is not a Woman that I love Yet we a Man and Wise might prove If that our hearts cou'd but agree As well as Sexes sympathie Hon. This is a kind of a riddle Cla. But easily unfolded Hon. Trust mo th' unriddling will require some time VVhat sayes Constantia Con. My thoughts have been so taken up of late 'Twixt love and grief that I have lost that art Cla. It is unworthy either of your thoughts Hon. The kindness of this Boy does puzle me aside For either I mistake him or he loves me In an extreame that misbecomes his Sex It must be sure some Virgin in disguise Cla. I must confess you have discover'd me But you who know so much of love your self to Constantia Know best to pitty the extremities love has compell'd me to Hon. 'T is evident the riddle does import it She loves no VVoman therefore loves a Man And if a Man who can't divine her Sex I 'le set Constantia to discover all Con. In all I can I will assist your love to Clara. But lest my Brother should unfold too soon Your Oracle divert him with a Song SONG I never shall henceforth approve The Deity of Love Since he cou'd be So far unjust as to wound me And leave my Mistress free As if my flame cou'd leave a Print Vpon a heart of flent Can flesh and stone Be ere converted into one By my poor flame alone Were be a God he 'd neither be Partial to her nor me But by a Dart Directed into eithers heart Make both so feel the smart That being heated with his subtitle fire Our loves might make us feel but one desire Hon. How cravingly he look'd upon me now As if he had a boon he sham'd to ask There 's somewhat hid beneath that borrowed shape I must know more of Exit Honorio Con. So let him chew upon the riddle Till we have ripen'd our design But art thou sure Amante dotes on thee Cla. Am I sure when the Sun shines 't is day Con. Then I 'le renew my hopes since his revolt Is to an object can't return him love Cla. Let 's then assist each other in our loves I 'le use my art to make Amante thine Con.
The readiest way 's to wed thee to Honorio For when in thee his amorous hopes are dead He 'll soon return to th' Love from whence he fled Exeunt Scena Quinta Enter Honorio Hon. It shou'd be Clara yet she 's too discreet To trust her modesty to that disguise Yet she 's a Woman and moreover loves And few are known Lovers and wise at once It must be she and I the easie fool That gave her credir she might feign the message And make false use of Arabella's Name If so I 'me lost to her and to her Father My honour and my love destroy'd at once One I may yet reprieve Enter Amante But see Amante that wound of fame gives No Precedency to lesser quarrells then whil'st draws I prefer my honour Love take thou a Sepulcher Aman. Sure he intends some mischief to himself Tho' I wou'd dye I 'le lend a helping Arm To save his life hold brave Honorio hold Let that reason which I want vanquish Thy Passion kill not thy self Hon. I do not find an inclination to it Tho' life before was irksom since I discern A fitter subject for my Enmity Aman. I scarcely understand you Hon. I shall explain my self I drew to make your yield me satisfaction For that dear honour which my Sisters fears Compell'd me lose when I fail'd meeting you To justifie the injurious words I gave you Aman. Those Injuries Honorio are forgot Hon. I can't forgive my Honour such a blot In you 't is noble to forgive in me Shou'd I accept as great an Infamy Honour takes nothing when she 's in arrear Lest what 's meant kindness be miscall'd a fear Therefore Amante if you can afford Me any favour let it be your Sword Aman. As a Present take it I dare rely Your honour 's too great security For me to doubt or shou'd you take this life ' Twou'd ease my grief and finish all my strife Hon. My hand is furnish'd Sir but if you 'll part More nobly with it present it to my heart Aman. I 'de rather wound my own and by one blow Destroy that Friend whom you wou'd make your foe Hon. If Friend unto my same you must confess What I affirm'd was true and ask my pardon Aman. If nothing less Sir can appease your rage Than owning my self Coward Honorio Must excuse me tho' I promis'd Constantia To bear an injury beyond mans patience Fame never shall report a VVomans tears Destroy'd Amante's honour I 'de give my life if live wou'd satisfie But dare not Friendship with dishonour buy Hon. Then draw Aman. I do and in as just a cause draws As Power when she Executes by Laws Hon. Stay to shew I don't delight in blood I 'le only urge my Sister might Return her love and make but good her claim I 'le own you by a Friends and Brothers name Aman. I can't alas consent in Clara's grave Where e're it is I have intomb'd my heart Hon. But what if she be still alive Aman. I 'le love her till she be dispos'd of to another Hon. It must be Clara wandring for my sake aside In that disguise if so it lyes in me To marrry her and that may set him free But then my Arabella she may prove Still undispos'd my first and dearest Love I 'le never hazard thee I am resolv'd Aman. To fight Hon. Or basely be deny'd Aman. You sha'not find a Coward they fight Hon. I believe It Come on Aman. So you have drawn the first blood Hon. I see I have shall we put up Aman. No Sir I can as little put up this As you your Sisters injury the Coward Sticks here still they â—ight So we 're on even terms what say you now Hon. My Sister 's unreveng'd Aman. I do renounce that quarrel as unjust And will at any time implore her pardon As I have often done Sir you shall see I can be noble in inconstancy As for The other slanders I pronounce them And their Author false Hon. These are but words Aman. You shall have deeds to testifie I am no Coward Nor asperser of a Ladies fame fight Enter Clara Constantia and run between them Cla. Hold oh hold your hands Con. Imploy your Swords on us for that wou'd be A greater kindness than severitie It wou'd destroy our grief as well as lives Which in your dangers cruelly survives Hon. Good Sister give us way pushes her away Cla. Madam be resolute we 'll rather fall As Martyrs to prevent their Funeral Con. They shan't constrain us to a misery If they will fight let us agree to dye Cla. I am content Con. Prepare thy Ponyard then And in our courage let us vie with them they hold their daggers ready to strike Aman. Hold you have unarm'd me quite Hon. And conquer'd me Cla. Then we may triumph in our Victory Con. Triumph alas what comfort can we find Preserving Lovers to be still unkind Cla. Preserv'd them no Constantia they bleed and faint away Con. 'T is too true what 's to be done they fall down Each drop Amante sheds draws from my heart A flood nor is my soul much less concern'd For my dear Brother oh my misery Nature and Love do equally contend VVhom shall I save my Brother or my Friend Cla. Madam be comforted this sacred stone Has a choice Virtue to stop bleeding wounds And send the blood back to th' distressed heart I 'le try it on Honorio she applys it Hon. Oh ho. Cla. See he revives Con. But poor Amante labours still beneath the Pangs of death oh lend it here Cla. Then will your Brother faint Con. Why let him perish rather than Amante Cla. Honorio perish ah how can you be So cruel in your foolish charity To save a Man so false and let a Brother Dye so good as my Honorio Con. Not thine but Arabella's Clara. Hon. That sound was most Divine Dear Arabella Aman. What Angels voice pronounc'd fair Clara's name Con. A Wretch you once did love Open your Eyes and you at once may see Your cruel Clara and kind Constancy Aman. That beauteous form is she then in disguise Cla. Believe her not she only us'd this art To make your blood return into your heart I 'me but her Brother Sir Aman. Then tell me where She lives if dead shew me her Sepulc're Cla. Within a day I 'le shew her you ailve Aman. I 'le strive to live upon that hope Con. They begin both to give good signs of a Recovery Cla. This wound seems almost clos'd Apply the Stone to him there can't be found In Art or Natures Treasury so good A stenching Medicine for a stream of blood Hon. It seems to me miraculous I find It strengthens both the body and the mind How fares Amante Aman. Better to see my Friend so near his health Hon. I am now in Amity with all the World and find I praise the Gods a sweet recess from love Aman. My thanks kind Youth thou dost not only give Me life but
THE Amorous Old-vvoman OR 'T is VVell if it Take A COMEDY ACTED By His MAJESTIES Servants WRITTEN By a Person of Honour LONDON Printed for Simon Neale at the three Pidgeons in Bedford street in Covent-Garden MDCLXXIV PROLOGUE Spoken by Major Mohun POets in Prologues to cajole the Age Have spent such stocks of Wit upon the Stage That 't is become the hardest par to'th' Play They 've said so much there 's little left to say Yet Criticks you new Miracles attend As if Wits Treasurie cou'd know no end Like cruel Landlords who do never weigh Hard times or dammage when 't is Quarter day With eager expectation you destrain For VVits Excise upon our Poets brain And for a Prologue you old custom cite They writ with ease who first began to write All fancies then were fresh all â—heams were new Wit 's ransack'd now from China to Peru. Nay here at home all fancies are as stale Some flatter some intreat and others rail And this last Method we must needs confess Has of all others met the most success But our new Poet dares not take this Course He wou'd intreat but not your likings force For if your Charity don't help him out He does protest he then must turn Bankrupt Not with design as knavish Bankers do For he 'l not break and then compound with you But fairly to you his whole interest quit And give you up the forfeit of his itâ— A second PROLOGVE intended but not spoken HE who comes hither with design to hiss And with a bum revers'd to whisper Miss To kemb a Peruke or to show gay Cloaths Or to vent antique Non-sence with new Oaths Our Poet welcomes as the Muses Friend For he 'll by Irony each Play commend Next him we welcome â—â—ch who briskly dine At Lockets at Giraus or Shattiline Swell'd with Pottage and the Burgundian Grape They hither come to take a kindly Nap In these our Poet don't conceive much harm For they pay well and keep our Benches warm And tho' scarce half awake some Plays they damn They do 't by whole-sale not by Ounce and Dram. But when fierce Criticks get them in their Clutch They 're crueller than the Tyrannick Dutch And with more Art do dislocate each Scene Than in Amboyna they the limbs of Men They rack each line and ev'ry word unknit As if they 'd find a way to cramp all Wit They 're the Terrour of all adventures here The very objects of their hate and fear And like rude Common-wealths they stillare knit 'Gainst English Playes the Monarchies of Wit Th' invade Poetick licence and still rail At Plays to which in duty they shou'd vail Yet still th' infest this Coast to Fâ—â—h for Iests To suppliment their VVits at City Feasts Thus much for Criticks To the more generous Wit Our Poet frankly does cach Scene submit And begs your kind Alliance to engage Those Hogen Interlopers of the Stage Dramatis Personae Honorio in Love with Arabella Mr. Lydal Amante in Love with Clara. Mr. Beeston Garbato in Love with Arabella Mr. Eastland Cicco a blind Senator that pretends to see Mr. Perin Riccamare his Brother in Love with Riches Mr. Coysh â—uggio a Fellow that delights in Romancing Mr. Chapman Furfante Servant to Cicco Mr. Powel Sanco-panco Servant to Strega Mr. Shirly Women Actors Constantia Sister to Honorio Mrs. Cox Arabella Daughter to Cicco Mrs. Iames. Clara in Love with Honorio called also Infortunio Mrs. Boutel Strega an old Rich deformed Lady Mrs. Corey The Scene Pisa. THE Amorous Old-vvoman OR 'T is VVell if it Take ACTUS I. SCENA I. Amante and Honorio meeting Aman. SIgnior Honorio Hon. Signior Amante You are the Man I wish'd to meet Aman. Then we 're both pleas'd I 've worn out my Feet with seeking you Hon. And I my Patience Aman. I thought you better stor'd Hon. You have most reason to believe so Signior Aman. I cannot apprehend you Hon. I shall explain my self I understand You have been a liberal detractor Sir Both of my honour and my Sisters fame And as a Gentleman expect fair satisfaction Aman. Ha ha ha you are dispos'd to droll Italians seldom understand that Language Hon. You speak French Teach your Sword the Dialect And don't mistake my injuries for jests Aman Tho' I have alwayes made it my chief care Neither to offer nor receive a wrong And am as far from injuries to you As English Subjects from oppressive Laws Yet custom does so cruelly impose Upon the Laws of Honour the must give Satisfaction to the Capricio of each jealous brain Hon. I am no common Duellist nor make a living From the price of blood My temper In your refusal of my Sisters Love After such long address was too much shewn But then her tears did conquer my resentments Which fresher injuries have inflam'd a-new And if not false to Honour as to Love You will this Night those injuries repair Or take his Life whose fame you did not spare Aman. 'T were not amiss I knew particulars The why and wherefore I must draw my Sword For I 'me not so in love with the French garb T' expose my skin to pinking for the Mode Hon. You shall Setting a part your late inconstancy which I am Bound to pardon byâ— an Oath receive in short My other injuries y' have given out thereby To justifie your levity my Sister was unchast And that the reason you forsook her Love That I being conscious of my Sisters guilt Durst not confirm 't to th' world by my revenge Aman. Let me but know the inventor of these lyes These Hell-bred lyes that I may punish him For I am more than equally concern'd Hon. You must excuse me Siâ— I swore concealment Aman. Then give me leave to say you are unjust Tho' love which all want Power to resist Compell'd my stubborn heart to feel a second flame â—et â— was ne're so little generous so destitute Of Honour or of Man-hood as to asperse a Lady I once lov'd Hon. Words are no balsom for the wounds of Honour I hope you 'l meet me in Pantalonies Grove Aman. To vindicate her Fame I will but ne're To justifie so black a Calumny Hon. Y' are a Coward then that wants a Soul To own the injuries your malice vents Aman. A Coward Lend me your patience Gods 'T is all too little to allay the flame That word has kindled here Oh how it rages Now y' have given my anger a just Theam You shall soon know to whom the Coward 's due Expect me about Six Hon. I shall attend you with a second Exit Honorio Aman. Tho' he pretends fresh wrongs 't is evident He seeks to punish my inconstancy A cause my Sword wou'd have defended weakly Had not his fury given 't an argument Too warrantable to admit dispute As to the justice of 't a Coward It is a Title of such Infamy Methinks his life is slender satisfaction And yet when I consider him my Friend Methinks that
My Vows to th' first I for the second dye Cla. I cannot apprehend this second love Constantia was his first Aman. But wheresore she she who was so guiltless Of all my Crimes shou'd want a Monument Be lost to all Posterity I apprehend not Cla. All this discourse is still beyond my reach Aman. Yet blessed Clara wherefoe're thou art Thou hast a Noble shrine within this breast he lies doâ—n Cla. The ridle 's now explain'd 't is me he loves For when I took this shape 't was given out By my command that I was dead but how Or where conceal'd yet it seems strange That I shou'd prove the cause of his Revolt VVho ne're was yet belov'd perhaps his Vow 's Directed to some other of my name I wish it were I 'le satisfie how e're my Curiosity ho Signior Amante ho He 's in an Extasie or else asleep Signior Amante Aman. Ha! Thou blest Idea and divinest form Of that fair Maid my soul ador'd Instruct me where to find her Sepulchre Cla. He takes me sure for Deaths Embassadour I understand you not noâ— know I her Aman. Do not disguise your message for I know Y' are sent by Clara on some blest errand Cla. I 'le humour him it may have good effect Sir 't is most true I am by Clara sent VVhose restless soul wanders without content Because your Passion does disturb her peace If that you love her you your flame will cease Else she as cause must suffer in her urn For your inconstancy therefore return To your first love Exit Clara. Aman. Do I deprive my Clara of her bliss VVretch let thy Crimes accumulate thy torments Rather than injure her but both's impossible How can she be concern'd in my Revolt That never knew my change Heaven's too just She can but be an accidental cause And if to cause such bad effects were sin The Gods themselves are scarcely innocent Exit Scena Sexta Strega Sancoâ—Panco Riccamare Garbato Streg Sanco-panco Sanc. VVhat wou'd your worship forsooth Streg Set the Gentlemen some stools Sanco Gar. Does not thy Stomach begin to wamble And Rowl like a Ship in a storm Ric. Thou art too curious she 's rich and I can Digest a few imperfections Gar. As the chattering of her chops like a new beaten Ape which together with the salivation Of her Nose makes her kiss as moist as a Young Girl that licks her Lips after stew'd Prunes Ric. Thou art a sworn enemy to old Women Strega Coughs Gar. Mark that Cough she has had it ever since The cold she got in Nebuchadnezzars days Doing homage to the Golden â—mage Streg Gentlemen be pleas'd to seat your selves Gar. She straines a complement as if she were Costive upon a close stool Ric. Peace Infidel Thy whineling Courtship To Arabella is ten times more ridiculous They all seat themselves and Strega in a â—icker-Chaire Streg Gentlemen the observation of my younger Days has instructed me from time to time In the politick secrets of nuptial conjunction And of seven Husbands heaven be prais'd I 've buryed in my days I found but one That lov'd me for my self Gallants I Mean for my well-favouredness and this Man Was my first the other Six pretended Love But doted on my wealth Now as my first Did love for youth and favour my last must Love for age and comeliness of mind I mean Wisdom and Experience Ric. I am the Man that wou'd so love and from Each antique part of venerable age Make youthful pleasures spring joyes of mind Th' older the Body and the more decay'd The soul 's more youthful still and vigorous For as a Tenement that 's held by time Whose Walls and Roofes are half conâ—um'd by age Enjoyes a freer influence of the Sun Than Towers newly built or modern Caves So you participate the knowledge of Gar. Making May Butter Ric. So you participate the knowledge of Gar. The wonderful use of a dry dogs-turd Ric. Pox on thee peace the knowledge of Gar. Stewing Prunes and Munching Marmalade Ric. A Pox confound thee the knowledg of The superiour Powers Gar. A rare speech in commendation of Arabian Mummy Streg Sir I perceive your affection and how directed The right way to knowledg and experience Your discretion therein I must tell you takes Me much uh uh hu very much uh hu hu Give me a stick of liquorish uh hu uh hu When you have seen my five imperfections Gar. I believe one may see the Devil with less horrour Streg And like me then I sha'n't be hard hearted Ric. I long for tryal like a teeming Wench In an Orchard Your imperfections will at Worst appear like foyles to set off The luster of your soul. Streg You speak bravely and I hope will like me I 'le give you this encouragement above my Other Suitors I like you Gar. Better than Heaven by the haste you make there Streg And as a secret in your ear I am better Worth than twenty thousand Crowns per annum Besides some Bags in a Corner Ric. I value your self only and hope Gar. She 'l dye and make you her sole Executor Streg Sanco fetch my dressing Table and Boxes Gar. Sure she meanes to lay her Carcass out in Parcels and dispose her Limbs in Legacies Or having boxed them severally indorse Them to her loving Kinsmen thrice Removed But her implyments are come Ric. Prithee leave fooling and observe Gar. How she 's set together as if she mov'd By Wires or Clockworks Streg How do you like me now She pulls off her Eye-brows Ric. How shou'd I like you less for want of Such an idle excrement Streg Put them in their right Box Sanco Sanc. I 'le case them most exactly Gar. And send them to France for a Pattern That the Mode may pass into England Streg Giv me your opinion now Pulls out an Eye Ric. VVhere the soul has such a subtile knowledg To discern there needs no corporal light Gar. Now wou'd she look like the figure of Homer scanning of Verses if her Beard VVere but half so venerable Streg VVhere 's my Eye-Box Sanco Gar 'T is but a blind Eye that cannot Hit its own Box how dost like her Ric. As I wou'd like a Treasure on a Dunghill I endure the stench o' th' one for the lucre Of the other pulls out her Teeth Streg Now view my third imperfection Gar. She 'll be sure to kiss soft and thou May'st venter thy Fingers in her Mouth Safely Streg This is my fourth consider 't well pulls off her hair Ric. This will never be seen in a Night-gear Besides 't is a charitable age we frequently Borrow hair of one another Gar. But art in earnest ha Ric. She 's sufficiently ugly but still I pray with The Man that was carried away by the Devil God bless us from worse Gar. On my Conscience he 'l go through stitch And learn by her face to Picture deformity Ric. Now for her last Gar. VVhich he expects with as much curiosity As a
for that Proverb these twenty Years so that by observation you shou'd be much about your prime Streg And that may very well be Sanc. I believe your Sciatica is nothing but the Rickets And your ach in the Jaws breeding of teeth which your Artificial ones hinder from cutting Streg Then belike I may renew my youth agen I am resolv'd to fling away these rotten Teeth And cut my Gums with munching loaf Sugar Sanc. You wou'd do well to buy a Corral Streg That is not so good but I 'le eat store of Rabbits Brains to make me tooth more easily Cic. I can observe no longer for I discern such Excellence I can't contain my self I must speak to her Fur. If he cou'd find her out but I 'le assist him Cic. Fair Strega and therefore the more fair because Strega do not disdain the humble flame which spouts Bug. Which blazes Cio VVhich blazes from a young Lovers heart Streg I never was addicted much to scorn Bug. Now is the rest of his pen'd speech lost and Our Lover in a brown study how to proceed Cic. If not to scorn I hope to love Bug. VVell urg'd old Man how e'â—e extempore Streg Belike Love is a very comfortable thing But it will require debate if you please We 'll walk in and confer notes Cic. You cannot more oblige me Exeunt Fur. His speech had like to have ruin'd all Bug. He wou'd not be perswaded otherwise Come le ts in and share the mirth Fur. My old Maâ—ter cannot move without me Exeunt Scena Tertia Honorio Constantia Hon. VVith what a strange and yet mysterious art Love has intangled and engag'd each heart Yours to Amante to fair Clara his Hers unto me what a strange Maze is this Mine was intangled too but since got free By a rash vow dislikes that liberty Because it cruelly prevents thy peace And renders me unable to release Amante from his flame by wedding Clara. Con. Ah that you wou'd but so befriend my loveâ— Hon. I dare not think you wish a happiness That I must purchase with so great a Crime Con. I wou'd not have you sin yet I 'de fain be Eas'd of this load of Love and misery But is there no expedient no just art To break a Vow which else must break my heart Not only mine but loving Clara's too And that I 'me confident won't much please you Hon. Not in the least for I at present find Such an indifferency to Arabella That I had rather oblige Clara's love And make Amante capable of thine VVou'd my rash vow permit it Con. It is not better to dispense one Oath Than kill a Mistress and a Sister both VVhen by two Sins you equally are prest It is a Virtue sure to chuse the least Hon. But I perceive no such Dilâ—mma here I may preserve my Vow and you your lives Enter Clara. But Clara comes I date not trust my self Lest my Compassion shou'd destroy my Virtue Exit Honoâ— Scena quarta Cla. I fear your Rhetorick prevails but little To perswade his lover since he avoids my presence Con. 'T is altogether hopeless he 's so constant To that curs'd vow there 's no removing him Cla. We must find some evasion some reservation Con. But where my Clara you still cherish hope Thougâ— you have nought in Prospect but despair Cla. That 's the last passion love shou'd entertain Weigh but discreetly this perplexive vow And the evasion won't seem difficult It was if I remember it but rightly Never to speak of love to Woman more Con. It was what shadow of hope can you derive from thence Cla. A certain joy if nothing else obstruct my happiness Con. Find an evasion for that curst resolve And I 'le assure your marriage Cla. Why let him keep his Vow religiously And never speak of love to me or any I 'le understand his signs if he 'll consent The Priest shall make us one Besides Constantia He may write his love that 's not within his Oath Con. How dull was I not to discern it sooner 'T is evident plain as the light that shines I 'le straight convince him of it Exit As Clara follows Amante Enters takes her by the hand and stops her Scena Quinta Aman. Though y' are still so cruel and deaf to all my vows Yet lend an ear to my sad sufferings Cla. The Lady that went hence suffers much more For you than you can do for me Aman. Alas I pitty her Cla. I pity you But pitty more your base inconstancy Aman. Impute that crime to love and beauty Madam Since they conspir'd to betray my heart To one far more deserving now 't is fixt Cla. Like to an exhalation for a moment Aman. For ever Madam Cla. VVhat hope of constancy can there be found In love of which inconstancy's the ground What truth when both alike must be untrue You in your change and I in loving you Exit Aman. She has struck me dumb yet will not give me time To answer or extenuate my Crime Or if she had I cou'd make small defence Guilt can but ill dispose with innocence But I 'le reform and though I cannot gain Her love her good opinion I 'le obtain Then let her know tho' once I went astray Her brave reproofs has set me in the way Exit Scena Sexta Garbato Arabella Gar. ' â—is a strange solitary house this None But an Old Woman to bid us welcome Ara. I do'nt like my Uncles absence neither Gar. That seems suspicious too But I applaud However the design since it obtain'd me such a happiness Ara. I must applaud it too since 't is my fate Repentance after Marriage comes too late Enter Riccamare Cicco Strega Buggio and Furfante But here my Father comes I fear too soon Gar. Your Uncle with him too nay thâ—n we 're safe Ric. What are you sencelâ—ss Sir she has married a Beggar Cic. And I a Mine 't were a hard case if I cou'd not Afford one Portion set your heart at rest â—'me resolv'd to make this Day a Jubilee And I 'le begin with my Daughter first call her Furfante that I may forgive her Ric. Forgive her is he possest Fur. Wâ—y Sir she 's by you Cic. How strangely I forget my self oh love Love how thou distractest youth Arabella Gar. To him in this humour and get a blessing Ara I hope you are as ready to forgive as you were wont That I disobey'd you in my choice I must confess but 't was not till the choice You made abandon'd me that very Minute You design'd me his VVife Cic. Thou had'st more VVit I see than thy old Father I do forgive thee Girl and hope thy Husband VVill make that out in love he wants in fortune Ric. How riches alters some Mens tempers Oh! I cou'd curse Gar. My love I hope has been unquestionable And by so many Acts confirm'd it needs No farther proof let it suffice I married On a bare promise of your favour Sir for
her Own Merits without least assurance of Any Portion which the fair Estate newly â—aln to me by an Uncles death might Justly challenge Ric. He 's rich too a Curse on my design they 're Both ways crost in advantage and revenge Fur. How th' old Man câ—urts him now before Forgiveness was a savour Signior Buggio Your Cake's Dough. Bug. I find I ing a very unprofitable calling Fur. It may be one day pay'd Sir with a basting Bug. Then will I make you my Receiver Cic. May the Heavens pour down blessing on you She shall not want a Portion Gar. Uncle I thank you for your kind design My Father will no doubt declare you his Heir Ric. Oh they may laugh that win Gar. Y'have lost your fortunes both wayes in a Wife and an Inheritance Ric. Yet I 'le not cry for the matter except It be my Nieces pardon Ara. Alas you never injur'd me Ric. In thought I did for I design'd thy ruine And cannot find an apter recompence For having sought to disinherit thee Than by th' addition for my poor fortune I here adopt you mine and when I dye What I possess is yours Both. You are too Noble Streg If she be yours Sir I must salute her Cic. Do so good Wife whilst I give directions For th' invitation of our VVedding Guests Ara. My duty shou'd have thrown me at your feet For your dear blessing Madam had I known Y'â—ad been my Fathers choice Streg How prettily she prattles Sanco Sanc. She call'd you Madam too in the Court dialect Streg Dialect prithee Sanco make me understand These fine words Sanc. I 'le buy you a Dictionary forsooth and that Shall teach you Streg A very pretty Word prithee let me have it Cic. Be sure none be forgotten Fur. I 'le table them exactly Cic. Prithee Buggio do thou assist him Bug. I shall Sir Pray one Word whispers Cic. You mean my Daughter but she 's Dispos'd you see but I 've a Niece a rich One for you Fur. Ha ha ha he has paid him in his own coyn Lye for lye Cic. Now let us in to entertain our Guests This ought to be a double marriage feast Exeunt Scena Septima Honorio Amante Hon. I must avow 't is highly generous But now such actions are not in request I know your love to Clara and suspect it A cunning Stratagem to sift my heart Am. Your thoughts of me Honorio are too mean 'T is true I have been faulty in my Love And made by beauty a too easie Conquest But I have fortify'd my heart with Virtue Both against Clara's and all other Charms Except these first which in Constantia Surprized and made a Conquest of my Love Hon. Let me adore thee Friend This noble Act Will canonize inconstancy and make 't a Virtue Am. I wish Constantia receive it so Hon. She ' â— be but too much joy'd and so will Clara For the kind resolve I 've made on her behalf See they appear to share the happiness Am. Turn not aside your face for I 'me become Loves penitent y' have wrought a perfect cure And by your reproof my inconstancy taught My Love steddy Virtue Cla. I rejoyce in 't And shall be proud to perfect the good work By joyning you to fair Constantia Am. Your Virtue shall dispose me Cla. Here Constantia receive a convert to your Love Nay Neither blush nor doubt he 's proof I warrant you Hon. Against the World Am. No beauty now but yours has power to charm me Hon. May the Gods still encrease your happiness Con. I dare believe you My Joyes now are perfect And so shall thine be Clara lend's thy hand I here Dispose thee to Honorio Love him he 's a Gentleman deserves it Cla. Y' are my Noblest Parent and have given me A fresh life of happiness Hon. Now all is as it shou'd be but methinks Constantia you presum'd too much to dispose Clara without her own consent Cla. She knew my heart had done it long before Hon. Then nought remains but that we lead to Church And there confirm our joyes by sacred Rites Love Joyns our hearts but 't is the Church Unites Aman. I must implore Constantia's pardon first For my so long revolt Con. Y' are to me in your return more welcome Than Reprieves to Malefactors that despair of life Hon. Say no more I dare assure your pardon Love still Prepares our Joyes with bitterness to make us Relish them with more delight By inconstancy deluded hopes and fears The wish'd fruition he at length endears Am. Y' are strangely merciful Enter Buggio Furfante Hon. But who are these Am. Sure one is Buggio Hon. That fatal cause of all our difference Am. He is not worth this heat let 's observe him Fur. Thou art so whimsical I tell thee I 'le abuse My Master no longer Thoâ— he be blind my Mistress has one eye Bug. Do me this kindness then say I have lost my memory Fur. Do you think I 'le tell a lye Bug. 'T is not the first Fur. Not by a thousand But to tell a lye without Design or profit goes against my conscience Bug. I must bribe the Rascal for now Honorio and Amante are friends I perceive a basting coming Towards meâ— unless I can maintain a loss Of memory come Furfante prithee be honest Fur. Yes and tell a lie gratis I thank you heartily Bug. Come here 's a Crown Fur. VVell it is for love of thee and this Hon. VVe heat nothing prithee let 's advance I must be upon that Rascals bones Am. Stay his Companion makes towards us Fur. Signior Cicco lately married to the rich VVidow Strega desires all your Companies at his Wedding supper Hon. Marryed sure this is coupling time why we Are going to perform that Ceremony and then We 'll wait upon him Am. It falls out happily since we are so unprovided For the solemnity Con. They 'll be a rare Comedy of Mirth Cla. Rather a Masquerade by their odd antique dress Hon. Oâ— a French Farce for th' extravagancy of Their humours the old man conceales his Infirmities and â—he takes a Pride in Manifesting hers Am. This is a strange Fellow he 'll neither know me Nor you nor â—â—ny injury he did us Hon. I shall revive his memory Am. Be patient dear Honorio your anger here Is thrown away Fur. I can assure you Sir he has lost his Memory above these ten years Hon. How Slave will you help t' outface us too Did not I â—ee him within these too days And speak with him this is an impudence Beyond Imagination Fur. If y' had seen him within this hour he can no More remember you than the moment he was born Am. Nay prithee Honorio Bug. Pray be not angry Gentlemen I have travelled Far it may be I had the honour of your Acquaintance in Peru Cattai Mascar or Mexico Or some Clime more remote I have a brief head And a short memory Fur. A very short head Sir he can't remember that He
Title shou'd all quarrells end Exit Scena Secunda Riccamare Garbato Ric. But is she so deform'd Garb. As ugly as heart can wish but rich Beyond the numbers of Arithmetick Ric. She 's a Woman Garb. Her Progeny assures it for she has seen Her great Grand-childs Daughter But still remember she is rich Ric. There 's my Elyzium Garb. But will you marry her Ric. Why did I crave thy aid else for riches I will marry any thing Were she so old That the single hairs upon her Chin Were hard'ned by time to the consistence Of Knitting-needles and grown as long if She had money yet I 'de marry her and Kiss her upon occasion notwithstanding That Porcupin defence Garb. And much good may it do thee Ric. Nay if she be but rich enough I care not Tho' she were a Witch the Devil had suck'd Nine lives but thou art sure that I shall Meet no Rival Garb. Except Don Satan shou'd in meer spight Animate an hang'd Carcass to court her Never fear one Ric. How happy 's Riccamare since glorious Gold Gives form to Youth deform'd Beauty to th' old Garb. How he 's exalted like a Beggar that had Drunk himself into a Prince and keeps State in a dream Ric. Dear Garbato let 's instantly to this India Garb. Weigh the adventure There 's more pleasure To sleep in a Trench tho' in a deep Snow When Bullets dance about your ears and Less danger than in kissing her she Has a breath more noisom than a Jakes Able to belch a Pestilence but Gold is a Rich Restorative and she 's as mellow as An Angelot Châ—ese that has been mortifi'd Fifteen Months in Horse-dung But still To your great comfort she 's exceeding rich Ric. That 's my Paradise has she many Heirs Garb. None but an overgrown Gib-cat she has Out-liv'd her kindred by nine Generations And they say remembers ever since Eve Gave suck and for her Religion she 's a Pre-adamite Ric. Then are my fortunes made for ever Garb. And you shall make mine before we part aside Ric. How am I bound to fortune Rich and Old Two blessings I wou'd hardly change for Heaven Might it succeed Garb. The refusal must be on your part Signior Ric. What and be worth ten thousand Duckets yearly Gar. Yes and ten times that in money Ric. If I wed her not may I marry a poor Beauty and undo my Parish with getting Beggars Why should'st thou scruple it Prithee let 's lose no time Garb. A word first about my own concerns Ric. Delay me not I 'le reward thee to thy wish Gar. I am no Slave to coin Sir Ric. How shall I otherwise deserve thy Love Gar. As we walk I shall inform you Ric. Well you shall govern me now to my Mine Nought's so deform'd but Gold can make divine Exeunt Scena Tertia Constantia Clara Arabella Con. Dispute no more you may as well compare An Atome to a Mountain as balance Your miseries with mine Cla. Let each impart her grief and then the Scale Will not perhaps appear so much unequal Ara. Let me begin happily hearing mine You 'l blush and think your own not worth Relating The man I love is banisht from my sight And him I hate usurps a Lovers right Such Magick is there in a Parents will As does destroy my Love my Lover kill If I obey I must espouse my hate And disobedience is a harder fate For so I lose my love who does pursue Me with such Virtue he 'd then shun me too As lost to duty judging I might prove As to my Father falser to his love Con. Your fate 's severe yet Madam you possess In 's Virtue still a kind of happiness Whil'st I have lost in mine being so untrue Not only a Lover but his virtue too Cla. Yet both your fates my happiness outgo You were belov'd but I was never so Con. My having been belov'd my griefs encrease War racks them most that have been us'd to peace Ara. And those true vowes my Lover does impart Serve but as Torches to inflame my heart Which otherwise by silence might abate In Love and reconcile me to my hate Cla. All these are trifles to poor Clara's grief Whose Love ne're had nor e're can hope relief Con. What e're they seem sure those griefs deepest grow Which feel th' effects of love and hatred too Ara. If to discern you'd contraries compare For great hope lost begets the worst despair You 'd find my grief all others far excel So joyes privation is the worst of Hell And darkness seems more horrid to the sight When Bodies intervene 'twixt us and light And rob us of the glory of the Day Than when by course Night drives the Sun away So does my Fathers will t' our Love appear Much more prodigious than were Love severe Or either of us false that grief destroys Which cruelly separates uniting joyes Con. Disputes are vain we never shall decide Which shou'd precede 'mongst griefs so near ally'd Cla. Thou' rt in the right for mine must never yield Ara. Nor mine adieu I must retire to the Cypress Grove Cla. So dark a shade will best become my Love I 'le bear thee company where we will feed Sorrow with silence As wounds inward bleed When least apparent yet then best surprize The fort of life so griefs which dwell on Eyes Cannot so dextrously life o'ercome As silent sorrows which live nearer home Exeunt Clara and Arabella Con. If Love alone be difficult to bear And that Loves torments are encreas'd by fear Tho' fear denote some hope Love paid with scorn Being void of hope 's much harder to be born How have I fin'd that I 'me compell'd to prove The utmost rigours both of scorn and love Great Deity forgive and next abate My love like his as one teach both to hate Or if I still must dote by your decree Yet mitigate my cruel destiny And make Amante feel a scornful hate May equalize the rigour of my fate That so Wearied with scorns his penitence may prove More advantageous than his feigned Love Exit Scena Quarta Buggio Honorio Bug. Where dost think I met thy Mistress Hon. My Mistress Bug. Make it not so strange the Lady of your Publick address the Lady Arabella Hon. The Lady Arabella Where Bug. See if your countenance speaks not truth for you Be Master of a better temper Or hang me if I tell you a Syllable Hon. I 'le tell you more without a Covenant Amante does with solemn Oaths deny Those base aspersions which you swore he lay'd Upon my Sisters Fame And tho'he be A Vagabond in Love yet I believe him A Man of Honour that wou'd not eat his words Besides the Oath of silence you impos'd Begets suspicion Bug. This comes by telling lyes damnable lyes To please my fancy I expose my throat aside And with a Pox must be Romantick still Hon. Signior I expect your answer Bug. Sir since my zeal and over-fond affection Has rendred
Court Lady th' arrival of a new Gown From Paris Streg Sanco help to untye Gar. In the name of ugliness what will she draw From those parts Ric. 'T is beyond the VVit of Man to imagine Look Garbato Look she pulls of her Leg. Gar. Remember she 's rich Ric. The Devil take her and her riches too Marry A Stump a VVooden Leg I 'le have flesh Tho' ne're so ugly Come away Gar. Thou wilt not leave her thus Ric. Dost think I 'le ingender with Bedstaves And beget a generation of Scourg-sticks I 'le see her whip'd first 't is pennance enough To look on her Don Belzebub shall Marry her for me Exeunt Streg Are all my pains come to this The time may Come a rich Widow may be in more reverence I warrant he 's an Elder Brother by his ill Breeding and less Wit Sanc. No he 's a younger Brother forsoth Streg A younger Brother then am I at my last Prayers and may dye without my eighth Husband And what a lamentable misfortune that will be Let all venerable Damsels consider Come Sanco lead me in and as we go Let 's both together sing fortune 's my foe Exeunt ACTUS IV. SCENA I. Clara Arabella Cla. I Hope you will applaud my diligence Ara. Thou' rt fit to be great Loves Embassador So well thou hast manag'd this affair First to perswade Honorio cease his claim And then to bring me such a just account How things succeed at home What more cou'd I expect or thou perform Cla. My duty Madam did oblige this service She little guesses at my interest Which add the Wings to diligence her self Ara. Garbato will be ravish'd with this news Dear Boy how shall I recompence this service Cla. Your acknowledgments are prodigal rewards But Madam if you will enlarge your bounty By giving me leave to attend Honorio I shall have cause to bless your service Ara. Why Boy will that so much advantage thee Cla. Make me for ever Lady for he fancies Some kind of small resemblance in this face To your bright beauty weeds resemble flowers And have their use and virtues too so I May palliate this Lovers misery Ara. Had'st thou a Sex more suiting to thy face Thou might'st effect a perfect cure Methinks If I forget not my own form there is Enough resemblance for a Lovers flame To feed upon Cla. Madam I wish there were Ara. Another Sex Cla. No Madam more resemblance Ara. That wish alone were foolish and must end In a cold friendship which soon brings disgust Thou cou'd'st not marry him Cla. It should be much against my will then aside Yet I cou'd live with him and please his fancy In all the pleasures of true Love Ara. That 's not done in a song Boy thou'dst come short Cla. I mean I 'de serve him with more fidelity Than any VVoman cou'd except my self aside For I wou'd make it my happiness to please him And share a double part of all his griefs Ara. Thou wou'd'st be wond'rous kind Cla. As your fair self to Signior Garbato Ara. 'T is pitty to divide such love yet for both Your sakes I wish thou wer 't a female Cla. I hope these breeches han't transform'd me aside Enter Garbato and Riccamare Here comes my Lord Madam I 'le take my leave Ara. Dear Infortunio I am loth to lose thee Yet since Honorio prov'd so kind to me As to leave me to my choice I 'le let thee go But take this Ring and wear it for my sake Exit Clara. My dear Garbato I have news VVill raise thy soul to such a happiness Thou 'lt think thy self in Heaven Gar. Being in thy Company I am so Yet I cou'd wish your Uncles absence That I migh participate your joys Ara. His presence is less welcome than storms Of rain in Harvest Gar. Speak softly lest he hear you Ara. Oh I cou'd curse him Gar. Do 't like a Politician then and smile in 's face Ric. Niece Arabella Gar. You must seem attentive for he longs To tell you his adventure Ric. Were you at leisure I cou'd give you a Description of the strangest piece of deformity Ara. I am ever at leasure to hear you Gar. How soon Women learn to dissemble Ric. You have seen Mother Shiptons Picture Ara. Before her Prophecies I think I have Ric. Just such a prognosticating Nose had this Sucking Damsel I went to woee she was So young that she had not a natural Tooth in her head Ara. He 'll be as tedious now Ric. They 're all Ivory and those dy'd Saffron by The contagion of her breath the putrefaction Whereof might breed a Plague if the Wind Sate right as far as Piemont Gar. Thou hast as little kindness for an Old Woman As a Hangman for a Thieâ— for like him thou Wou'dst Murther the race thou desir'st to advance Thy fortunes and live by Ric. I 'de as soon live in my Grandsirs valut and Keep Company with the Worms of my dead Ancestors Gar. I thought Riches wou'd have digested any imperfection Ric. Except hers had it been a common ugliness Gar. As the Battery of the Nose in the French War Ric. Gold might have excus'd it Gar. Or say sh 'ad been as wry-mouth'd as a Plase Ric. I wou'd have digested that too and kist her less But to have a surfled Mouth with too much Nose Neither Eyes nor Hair on her brows A Toothless chops with brisled Chin A Pate as bald as e're was seen With parchment hide and timber Legs VVou'd make a Man forswear such Megs Ara. VVill he ne're have done aside Gar. I fear he has but begun yet Ric. Such accumulated imperfections did I never Behold they were beyond the Power of Gold To qualifie Gar. Then you 're quite out of conceit with Gold And Old Women Ric. Not whil'st the beauty of the Gold will balance The ugliness of the VVoman Gar. Ha ha ha we 'll find you out a handsomer Come Arabella I long to hear thy news Exeunt Ric. So they are got together and think themselves More happy than the Gods but soft young Friend Since the wealthy hopes of this old VVidow VVere Parents to my kindness they being vanish'd 'T is just my love expire into some new advantage To my self which â—'le extract from their Loves The Plot begins to ripen Exit Scena Secunda Enter Clara Amante following Aman. Stay thou blest shape Amante bids thee stop VVith what a flying Speed she makes away As if displeas'd I shou'd detain my Clara So long in Torment by my fruitless passion Dear soul of my deceased love but stay â—neels Some hold that Saints can't hear us when we pray Then how shou'd she poor Soul who is in pain For thy inconstancy thy prayers are vain Yet since I cannot love her less I 'le try To bear her punishment my self and dye Exit Scena Tertia Cicco Buggio Furfante Cic. But is she so beautiful withal Bug. Fresh as Aurora before the rising Sun Fur. Cleopatra was