excessively foppish and affected but in my Conscience I believe the Baggage loves me for she never speaks well of me her self nor suffers any Body else to rail at me Then as I told you there 's twelve thousand Pound Hum Why faith upon second Thoughts she does not appear to be so very affected neither Give her her due I think the Woman 's a Woman and that 's all As such I 'm sure I shall like her for the Devil take me if I don't love all the Sex Sharp And here comes one who Swears as heartily he hates all the Sex Enter Heartwell Bell. Who Heartwell Ay but he knows better things How now George where hast thou been snarling odious Truths and entertaining company like a Physician with discourse of their diseases and infirmities What fine Lady hast thou been putting out of conceit with her self and perswading that the Face she had been making all the morning wos none of her own for I know thou art as unmannerly and as unwelcome to a Woman as a Looking-glass after the Small-pox Heart I confess I have not been sneering fulsome Lies and nauseous Flattery fawning upon a little tawdry Whore that will fawn upon me again and entertain any Puppy that comes like a Tumbler with the same tricks over and over For such I guess may have been your late employment Bell. Would thou hadst come a little sooner Vainlove would have wrought thy Conversion and been a Champion for the Cause Heart What has he been here that 's one of Loves April-fools is always upon some errand that 's to no purpose ever embarking in Adventures yet never comes to harbour Sharp Tha 's because he always sets out in foul Weather loves to buffet with the Winds meet the Tide and sail in the Teeth of opposition Heart What has he not drop't Anchor at Araminta Bell. Truth on 't is she sits his temper best is a kind of floating Island sometimes seems in reach then vanishes and keeps him busied in the search Sharp She had need have a good share of sense to manage so Capricious a Lover Bell. Faith I don't know he 's of a temper the most easie to himself in the World he takes as much always of an Amour as he cares for and quits it when it grows stale or unpleasant Sharp An argument of very little Passion very good Understanding and very ill Nature Heart And proves that Vainlove plays the Pool with Discretion Sharp You Bellmour are bound in gratitude to stickle for him you with pleasure reap that fruit which he takes pains to sow he does the drudgery in the Mine and you stamp your image on the Gold Bell. He 's of another opinion and says I do the drudgery in the Mine well we have each our share of sport and each that which he likes best 't is his diversion to Set 't is mine to Cover the Partridge Heart And it should be mine to let 'em go again Sharp Not till you had Mouth'd a little George I think that 's all thou art fit for now Heart Good Mr. Young-fellow your mistaken as able as your self and as nimble too though I mayn't have so much Mercury in my Limbs 't is true indeed I don't force Appetite but wait the natural call of my Lust and think it time enough to be lew'd after I have had the temptation Bell. Time enough ay too soon I should rather have expected from a person of your gravity Heart Yet it is oftentimes too late with some of you young termagant flashy sinners you have all the guilt of the intention and none of the pleasure of the practice 't is true you are so eager in pursuit of the temptation that you save the Devil the trouble of leading you into it Nor is it out of discretion that you don't swallow that very Hook your selves have baited but you are cloy'd with the preparative and what you mean for a Whet turns the edge of your puny Stomacks Your love is like your courage which you shew for the first year or two upon all occasions till in a little time being disabled or disarm'd you abate of your vigor and that daring Blade which was so often drawn is bound to the Peace for ever after Bell. Thou art an old Fornicator of a singular good principle indeed and art for encouraging Youth that they may be as wicked as thou art at thy years Heart I am for having every body be what they pretend to be a Whoremaster be a Whoremaster and not like Vainlove kiss a Lap-Dog with passion when it would disgust him from the Ladies own Lips Bell. That only happens sometimes where the Dog has the sweeter Breath for the more cleanly conveyance But George you must not quarrel with little Gallantries of this nature Women are often won by 'em who would refuse to kiss a Lap-Dog if it were preliminary to the Lips of his Lady Sharp Or omit playing with her Fan and cooling her if she were hot when it might entitle him to the office of warming her when she should be cold Bell. What is it to read a Play in a rainy day when it may be the means of getting into a fair Ladies Books Though you should be now and then interrupted in a witty Scene and she perhaps preserve her Laughter till the jest were over even this may be born with considering the reward in prospect Heart I confess you that are Womens Asses bear greater burdens are forced to undergo Dressing Dancing Singing Sighing Whining Rhyming Flattering Lying Grinning Cringing and the drudgery of loving to boot Bell. O Brute the drudgery of loving Heart Ay why to come to Love through all these in cumbrances is like coming to an Estate overcharg'd with Debts which by the time you have pay'd yields no further profit than what the bare tillage and manuring of the Land will produce at the expence of your own Sweat Bell. Prithee how dost thou love Sharp He he hates the Sex Heart So I hate Physick too yet I may love to take it for my health Bell. Well come off George if at any time you should be taken straying Sharp He has need of such an excuse considering the present state of his Body Heart How d' ee mean Sharp Why if whoring be purging as you call it then I may say Marriage is entring into a Course of Physick Bell. How George do's the Wind blow there Heart It will as soon blow North and by South marry quotha I hope in Heaven I have a greater portion of Grace and I think I have baited too many of those Traps to be caught in one my self Bell. Who the Devil would have thee unless 't were an Oyster-woman to propagate young Fry for Bilingsgate thy Talent will never recommend thee to any thing of better quallity Heart My Tallent is chiefly that of speaking truth which I don't expect should ever recommend me to People of Quality I thank Heaven I have very honestly purchas'd the
Ay thou inimitable Coward and to be felt As for Example Kicks him Bell. Ha ha ha prithee come away 't is scandalous to kick this Puppy without a Man were cold and had no other way to get himself a heat Exit Bell. Sharp Bluff Yery well Very fine But 't is no matter Is not this fine sir Joseph Sir Io. Indifferent agad in my opinion very indifferent I 'd rather go plain all my Life than wear such Finery Bluff Death and Hell to be affronted thus I 'l die before I 'l suffer it draws Sir Io. O Lord his Anger was not raised before Nay dear Captain don't be in Passion now he 's gone Put up put up dear Back 't is your Sir Ioseph begs come let me kiss thee so so put up put up Bluff By Heav'n 't is not to be put up Sir Io. What Bully Bluff Th' Affront Sir Io. No agad no more 't is for that 's put up already thy Sword I mean Bluff Well Sir Ioseph at your entreaty But were not you my Friend Abus'd and Cuff'd and Kick'd Putting up his Sword Sir Io. Ay ay so were you too no matter 't is past Bluff By the immortal Thunder of great Guns 't is false He sucks not vital Air who dares affirm it to this Face Looks big Sir Io. To that Face I grant you Captain No no I grant you Not to that Face by the Lord Harry If you had put on your fighting Face before you had done his Business He durst as soon have kiss'd you as kick'd you to your Face But a Man can no more help what 's done behind his Back than what 's said Come wee 'l think no more of what 's past Bluff I 'll call a Council of War within to consider of my Revenge to come Exeunt SCENE Changes to Silvia's Lodgings Enter Heartwell Silvia SONG I. As Amoret and Thyrsis lay Melting the Hours in gentle Play Ioining Faces mingling Kisses And exchanging harmless Blisses He trembling cry'd with eager haste O let me feed as well as taste I die if I 'm not wholly blest II. The fearful Nymph reply'd Forbear I cannot dare not must not hear Dearest Thyrsis do not move me Do not do not if you Love me O let me still the Shepherd said But while she fond Resistance made The hasty Joy in strugling sled III. Vex'd at the Pleasure she had miss'd She frown'd and blush'd then sigh'd and kiss'd And seem'd to moan in sullen Cooing The sad miscarriage of their Wooing But vain alas were all her Charms For Thyrsis deaf to Loves allarms Bassled and senseless tir'd her Arms. After the Song a Dance of Anticks Silv. Indeed it is very fine I could look upon 'em all day Heart Well has this prevail'd for me and will you look upon me Silv. If you could Sing and Dance so I should love to look upon you too Heart Why 't was I Sung and Danc'd I gave Musick to the Voice and Lise to their Measures Look you here Silvia here are Songs and Dances Poetry and Musick hark how Pulling out a Purse and chinking it sweetly one Guinea rhymes to another And how they dance to the Musick of their own Chink This buys all the 'tother And this thou shalt have this and all that I am worth for the purchase of thy Love Say is it mine then ha Speak Syren Oons why do I look on her Yet I must Speak dear Angel Devil Saint Witch do not rack me in suspence Silv. Nay don't stare at me so You make me blush I cannot look Heart Oh Manhood where art thou What am I come to A Womans Toy at these years Death a bearded Baby for a Girl to dandle O dotage dotage That ever that noble passion Lust should ebb to this degree No reslux of vigorous Blood But milky Love supplies the empty Channels and prompts me to the softness of a Child A meer Infant and would suck Can you love me Silvia speak Silv. I dare not speak till I believe you and indeed I 'm afraid to believe you yet Heart Pox how her Innocence torments and pleases me Lying Child is indeed the Art of Love and Men are generally Masters in it But I 'm so newly entred you cannot distruit me of any skill in the treacherous Mystery Now by my Soul I cannot lie though it were to serve a Friend or gain a Mistress Silv. Must you lie then if you say you Love me Heart No no dear Ignorance thou beauteous Changel'ng I tell thee I do love thee and tell it for a Truth a naked Truth which I 'm ashamed to discover Silv. But Love they say is a tender thing that will smooth Frowns and make calm an angry Face will soften a rugged Temper and make ill-humoured People good You look ready to fright one and talk as if your Passion were not Love but Anger Heart 'T is both for I am angry with my self when I am pleased with you And a Pox upon me for loving thee so swell Yet I must on 'T is a bearded Arrow and will more easily be thrust forward than drawn back Silv. Indeed if I were well assur'd you lov'd but how can I be well assur'd Heart Take the Symptoms And ask all the Tyrants of thy Sex if their Fools are not known by this Party-coloured Livery I am Melancholy when thou art absent look like an Ass when thou art present Wake for you when I should Sleep and even Dream of you when I am Awake Sigh much Drink little Eat less court Solitude am grown very entertaining to my self and as I am informed very troublesome to every-body else If this be not Love it is Madness and then it is pardonable Nay yet a more certain Sign than all this I give thee my Mony Silv. Ay but that is no Sign for they say Gentlemen will give Mony to any naughty Woman to come to Bed to them O Gemini I hope you don't mean so For I won't be a Whore Heart The more is the pity Aside Silv. Nay if you would Marry me you should not come to Bed to me You have such a Beard and would so prickle one But do you intend to Marry me Heart That a Fool should ask such a malicious Question Death I shall be drawn in before I know where I am However I find I am pretty sure of her consent if I am put to it Aside Marry you no no I 'll love you Silv. Nay but if you love me you must Marry me what dont I know my Father lov'd my Mother and was married to her Heart Ay ay in old days People married where they lov'd but that fashion is chang'd Child Silv. Never tell me that I know it is not chang'd by my self for I love you and would Marry you Heart I 'll have my Beard shav'd it shan't hurt thee and we 'l go to Bed Silv. No no I 'm not such a Fool neither bat I can keep my self honest Here I won't keep any thing that
no other guard Nature her self's beholden to your Dress Which tho' still like much fairer you express Some vainly striving Honour to obtain Leave to their Heirs the Traffick of their Brain Like China under Ground the ripening Ware In a long time perhaps grows worth our Care But you now reap the Fame so well you 've sown The Planter tasts his Fruit to ripeness grown As a fair Orange-tree at once is seen Big with what 's ripe yet springing still with Green So at one time my worthy Friend appears With all the sap of Youth and weight of Years Accept my pious Love as forward Zeal Which tho' it ruins me I can't conceal Expos'd to Censure for my weak Applause I 'm pleas'd to suffer in so just a Cause And tho' my Offering may unworthy prove Take as a Friend the Wishes of my Love J. W. MARSH To Mr. CONGREVE on his PLAY called The OLD BATCHELOR WIT like true Gold refin'd from all Allay Immortal is and never can decay 'T is in all Times and Languages the same Nor can an ill Translation quench the Flame For tho' the Form and Fashion don't remain Th' intrinsick value still it will retain Then let each studied Scene be writ with Art And Iudgment sweat to form the labour'd Part Each Character be just and Nature seem Without th' Ingredient Wit 't is all but Phlegm For that 's the Soul which all the Mass must move And wake our Passions into Grief or Love But you too Bounteous sow your Wit so thick We are surpriz'd and know not where to pick And while our Clapping does you Iustice do Our selves we injure and lose something new What may'nt we then great Youth of thee presage Whose Art and Wit so much transcend thy Age How wilt thou shine at thy Meridian height Who at thy rising give so vast a Light VVhen DRYDEN dying shall the VVorld deceive VVhom we Immortal as his VVorks believe Thou shalt succeed the Glory of the Stage Adorn and entertain the coming Age. BEVIL HIGGINS PROLOGVE intended for the old Btcahelour sent to the Author by an unknown Hand MOST Authors on the Stage at first appear Like Widows-Bridegrooms full of doubt and fear They judge from the experience of the Dame How hard a Task it is to quench her Flame And who falls short of furnishing a course Up to his brawny Predecessors force With utmost rage from her Embraces thrown Remains convicted as an empty Drone Thus often to his Shame a pert Beginner Proves in the end a miserable Sinner As for our Youngster I am apt to doubt him With all the vigour of his Youth about him But he more Sanguine trusts in one and twenty And impudently hopes he shall content you For tho' his Batchelour be worn and cold He thinks the Young may club to help the Old And what alone can be atchieved by neither Is often brought about by both together The briskest of you all have felt Allarms Finding the fair One prostitute her Charms With broken Sighs in her old Fumblers Arms. But for our Spark he Swears he 'll ne're be jealous Of any Rivals but young lusty Fellows Faith let him try his Chance and if the Slave After his bragging prove a washy Knave May he be banish'd to some lonely Den And never more have leave to dip his Pen But if he be the Champion he pretends Both Sexes sure will join to be his Friends For all agree where all can have their ends And you must own him for a Man of Might If he holds out to please you the third Night PROLOGUE Spoken by Mrs. Bracegirdle HOW this vile World is chang'd In former days Prologues were serious Speeches before Plays Grave solemn Things as Graces are to Feasts Where Poets beg'd a Blessing from their Guests But now no more like Suppliants we come A Play makes War and Prologue is the Drum Arm'd with keen Satyr and with pointed Wit We threaten you who do for Iudges sit To save our Plays or else we 'll damn your Pit But for your Comfort it falls out to day We 've a young Author and his first born Play So standing only on his good Behaviour He 's very civil and entreats your Favour Not but the Man has Malice would he show it But on my Conscience he 's a bashful Poet You think that strange no matter he 'll out grow it Well I 'm his Advocate by me he prays you I don't know whether I shall speak to please you He prays O bless me what shall I do now Hang me if I know what he prays or how And 't was the prettiest Prologue as he wrote it Well the Deuce take me if I hau'e forgot it O Lord for Heavens sake excuse the Play Because you know if it be damn'd to day I shall be hang'd for wanting what to say How my sake then but I 'm in such Confusion I cannot stay to hear your Resolution Runs off Personae Dramatis Men By Heartwell a furly old Batchelour pretending to slight Women secretly in Love with Silvia Mr. Betterton Bellmour in Love with Belinda Mr. Powel Vainlove capricious in his Love in Love with Araminta Mr. Williams Sharper Mr. Alexander Sir Joseph Wittol Mr. Bowen Capt. Bluffe Mr. Hains Fondlewife a Banker Mr. Dogget Setter a Pimp Mr. Underhill Servant to Fondlewife Women Araminta in Love with Vainlove Mrs. Bracegirdle Belinda her Cousin and affected Lady in Love with Bellmour Mrs. Mountfort Laetitia Wife to Fondlewife Mrs. Barry Silvia Vainlove's forsaken Mistress Mrs. Bowman Lucy her Maid Mrs. Leigh Betty Footmen The Scene LONDON THE Old Batchelour ACT I. SCENE I. The Street Bellmour and Vainlove Meeting Bell. VAinlove and abroad so early good Morrow I thought a Contemplative Lover could no more have parted with his Bed in a Morning than a' could ' have slept in 't Vain Bellmour good Morrow Why truth on 't is these early Sallies are not usual to me but Bussiness as you see Sir Shewing Letters And Business must be follow'd or be lost Bell. Pox o' Business And so must Time my Friend be close pursued or lost Business is the rub of Life perverts our Aim casts off the Blas and leaves us wide and short of the intended Mark Vain Pleasure I guess you mean Bell. Ay what else has meaning Vain Oh the Wise will tell you Bell. More than they believe Or understand Vain How how Ned a wise Man say more than he understands Bell. Ay ay pox Wisdom's nothing but a pretending to know and believe more than really we do You read of but one wise Man and all that he knew was that he knew nothing Come come leave Business to Idlets and Wisdom to Fools they have need of 'em Wit be my Faculty and Pleasure my Occupation and let Father Time shake his Glass Let low and earthy Souls grovel till they have work'd themselves six foot deep into a Grave Business is not my Element I rowl in a higher Orb and dwell Vain In
supersinity of your goodness which like an innundation will I hope totally immerge the recollection of my errour and leave me floating in your sight upon the full blown Bladders of repentance by the help of which I shall once more hope to swim into your favour Bows Sharp So h O Sir I am easily pacify'd the acknowledgment of a Gentleman Sir Io. Acknowledgment Sir I am all over acknowledgment and will not stick to show it in the greatest extremity by night or by day in sickness or in health Winter or Summer all Seasons and occasions shall testify the reality and gratitude of you superabundant humble Servant Sir Ioseph Wittoll Knight Hem hem Sharp Sir Ioseph Wittoll Sir Io. The same Sir of Wittoll-hall in Comitatu Bucks Sharp Is it possible Then I am happy to have obliged the Mirrour of Knighthood and Pink of Courtesie in the Age let me embrace you Sir Io. O Lord Sir Sharp My loss I esteem as a trifle repay'd with interest since it has purchas'd me the friendship and acquaintance of the person in the World whose Character I admire Sir Io. You are only pleas'd to say so Sir But pray if I may be so bold what is that loss you mention Sharp O term it no longer so Sir In the Scuffle last Night I only dropt a Bill of a hundred Pound which I confess I came half despairing to recover but thanks to my better Fortune Sir Io. You have found it Sir then it seems I profess I 'me heartily glad Sharp Sir your humble Servant I don't question but you are that you have so cheap an opportunity of expressing your gratitude and generosity Since the refunding so trivial a Sum will wholly acquit you and doubly engage me Sir Io. What a dickens do's he mean by a trival Sum aside But han't you found it Sir Sharp No otherwise I vow to Gad but in my hopes in you Sir Sir Io. Humph. Sharp But that 's sufficient 'T were injustice to doubt the honour of Sir Io. Wittoll Sir Io. O Lord Sir Sharp You are above I 'me sure a thought so low to suffer me to lose what was ventur'd in your service Nay 't was in a manner Pay'd down for your deliverance 't was so much lent you And you scorn ' I le say that for you Sir Io. Nay ' I le say that for my self with your leave Sir I do scorn a dirty thing But agad ' Ime a little out of pocket at present Sharp Pshaw you can't want a hundred Pound Your Word is sufficient any where 'T is but borrowing so much Dirt you have large Acres and can soon repay it Mony is but Dirt Sir Ioseph Mere Dirt. Sir Io. But I profess 't is a Dirt I have wash'd my Hands of at present I have lay'd it all out upon my Back Sharp Are you so extravagant in Cloaths Sir Ioseph Sir Io. Ha ha ha a very good Jest I profess ha ha ha a very good Jest and I did not know that I had say'd it and that 's a better Jest than tother 'T is a sign you and I ha'n't been long acquainted you have lost a good Jest for want of knowing me I only mean a Friend of mine whom I call my Back he sticks as close to me and follows me through all dangers he is indeed Back Breast and Headpiece as it were to me agad he 's a brave Fellow Pauh I am quite another thing when I am with him I don't fear the Devil God bless us almost if he be by Ah had he been with me last night Sharp If he had Sir what then he could have done no more nor perhaps have suffer'd so much had he a hundred Pound to lose Angrily Sir Io. O lord Sir by no means but I might have sav'd a hundred Pound I meant innocently as I hope to be sav'd Sir a damn'd hot Fellow only as I was saying I let him have all my ready Mony to redeem his great Sword from Limbo But Sir I have a Letter of Credit to Alderman Fondlewife as far as two hundred Pound and this Afternoon you shall see I am a Person such a one as you would wish to have met with Sharp That you are I le be sworn aside Why that 's great and like your self Enter Bluffe Sir Jo. Oh here â—â— comes 〈…〉 of Troy welcome my Bully my Back â—gad 〈…〉 Bluff How how my young Knight Not for fear I hope he that knows me must be a stranger to fear Sir Jo. Nay agad I hate fear ever since I had like to have dy'd of a fright But Bluff But Look you here Boy here 's your antidote here 's your Jesuits Powder for a shaking fit But who hast thou got with thee is he of mettle Laying his Hand upon his Sword Sir Jo. Ay Bully a Devilish smart Fellow 'a will sight like a Cock. Bluff Say you so then I honour him But has he been abroad for every Cock will sight upon his own Dunghil Sir Jo. I don't know but I 'le present you Bluff I 'le recommend my self Sir I honour you I understand you love Fighting I reverence a Man that loves Fighting Sir I Kiss your Hilts. Sharp Sir your Servant but you are misinform'd for unless it be to serve my particular Friend as Sir Joseph here my Country or my Religion or in some very Justifiable Cause I 'me not for it Bluff O Lord I beg your pardon Sir I find you are not of my Pallat you can't relish a Dish of Fighting without Sweet Sawce Now I think Fighting for Fighting sake's sufficient Cause Fighting to me 's Religion and the Laws Sir Jo. Ah well said my Hero was not that great Sir by the Lord Harry he says true Fighting is Meat Drink and Cloth to him But Back this Gentleman is one of the best Friends I have in the World and saved my Life last Night You know I told you Bluff Ay! Then I honour him again Sir may I crave your name Sharp Ay Sir my name 's Sharper Sir Jo. Pray Mr. Sharper Embrace my Back very well By the Lord Harry Mr. Sharper he 's as brave a Fellow as Cannibal are not you Bully Back Sharp Hannibal I believe you mean Sir Joseph Bluff Undoubtedly he did Sir faith Hannibal was a very pretty Fellow but Sir Joseph comparisons are odious Hannibal was a very pretty Fellow in those Days it must be granted But Alas Sir were he alive now he would be nothing Nothing in the Earth Sharp How Sir I make a doubt if there be at this Day a greater General Breathing Bluff Oh excuse me Sir have you serv'd a broad Sir Sharp Not I really Sir Bluff Oh I thought so Why then you can know nothing Sir I 'me afraid you scarce know the History of the Late War in Flanders with all its particulars Sharp Not I Sir no more than publick Letters or Gazett's tell us Bluff Gazette Why there again now Why Sir there are not three words of Truth the
a' receiv'd it as if ' thad been a Letter from his Wife Silv. What did he not read it Lcuy Hum'd it over gave you his Respects and said he would take time to peruse it But then he was in haste Silv. Respects and peruse it He 's gone and Araminta has bewitch'd him from me Oh how the name of Rival fires my Blood I could curse 'em both eternal Jealousie attend her Love and Disappointment meet his Lust. Oh that I could revenge the Torment he has caus'd Methinks I feel the Woman strong within me and Vengeance itches in the room of Love Lucy I have that in my Head may make Mischief Silv. How dear Lucy Lucy You know Aramintas dissembled Coyness has won and keeps him hers Silv. Could we perswade him that she Loves another Lucy No you 're out could we perswade him that she doats on him himself Contrive a kind Letter as from her 't would disgust his nicely and take away his Stomach Silv. Impossible 't will never take Lucy Trouble not your Head Let me alone I will inform my self of what past between 'em to Day and about it streight Hold I 'me mistaken or that 's Heartwell who stands talking at the Corner 't is he Go get you in Madam receive him pleasantly dress up your Face in Innocence and Smiles and dissemble the very want of Dissimulation You know what will take him Salv. 'T is as hard to Counterfeit Love as it is to conceal it but I 'le do my weak endeavour though I fear I have not Art Lucy Hang Art Madam and trust to Nature for Dissembling Man was by Nature Womans Cully made We never are but by our selves betray'd Exeunt Enter Heartwell Vainlove and Bellmour following Bell. Hist hist is not that Heartwell going to Silvia Vain He 's talking to himself I think Prithee le ts try if we can hear him Heart Why whither in the Devils name am I going now Hum Let me think Is not this Silvia's House the Cave of that Enchantress and which consequently I ought to shun as I would infection To enter here is to put on the envenom'd Shirt to run into the Embraces of a Faver and in some raving fit be led to plunge my self into that more Consuming Fire a Womans Arms. Ha! well recollected I will recover my reason and be gone Bell. Now Venus forbid Vain Hust Heart Well Why do you not move Feet do your Office Not one Inch no Foregod I 'me caught There stands my North and thither my Needle points Now could I curse my self yet cannot repent O thou Delicious Damn'd Dear destructive Woman S'death how the young Fellows will hoot me I shall be the Jest of the Town Nay in two Days I expect to be Chronicled in Ditty and sung in woful Ballad to the Tune of the Superanuated Maidens Comfort or the Batchelors Fall and upon the third I shall be hang'd in Effigie pasted up for the exemplary Ornament of necessary Houses and Coblers S'talls Death I can't think out He run into the danger to loose the apprehension Goes in Bell. A very certain remedy probatum est Ha ha ha poor George thou art it 'h right thou hast sold thy self to Laughter the ill-natur'd Town will find the Jest just where thou hast lost it Ha ha how a' strugled like an Old Lawyer between two Fees Vain Or a young Wench betwixt pleasure and reputation Bell. Or as you did to day when half afraid you snatch'd a kiss from Araminta Vain She has made a quarrel on 't Bell. Pauh Women are only angry at such offences to have the pleasure of forgiving ' em Vain And I love to have the pleasure of making my peace I should not esteem a Pardon if too easie won Bell. Thou dost not know what thou would'st be at whether thou wouldst have her angry or pleas'd Couldst thou be content to marry Araminta Vain Could you be content to go to Heaven Bell. Hum not immediately in my conscience not heartily I 'de do a little more good in my generation first in order to deserve it Vain Nor I to marry Araminta till I merit her Bell. But how the Devil dost thou expect to get her if she never yield Vain That 's true but I would Bell. Marry her without her Consent thour' t a Riddle beyond Woman Enter Setter Trusty Setter what tidings How goes the project Setter As a lew'd projects do Sir where the Devil prevents our endeavours with success Bell. A good hearing Setter Vain Well I 'le leave you with your Engineer Exit Bell. And hast thou provided necessaries Setter All all Sir the large sanctified Hat and the little precise Band with a swinging long Spiritual Cloak to Cover Carnal Knavery not forgetting the Black Patch which Tribulation Spintext wears as I 'm inform'd upon one Eye as a penal Mourning for the ogling Offences of his Youth and some say with that Eye he first discover'd the frailty of his Wife Bell. Well in this Fanatick Fathers habit will I confess Latitia Setter Rather pepare her for Confession Sir by helping her to Sin Bell. Be at your Masters Lodging in the Evening I shall use the Robes Exit Bell. Setter I shall Sir I wonder to which of these two Gentlemen I do most properly appertain The one uses me as his Attendant the other being the better acquainted with my parts employs me as a Pimp why that 's much the more honourable employment by all means I follow one as my Master but the tother follows me as his Conductor Enter Lucy Lucy Ther 's the Hang-Dog his Man I had a power over him in the Reign of my Mistress but he is too true a Valet-de-chambre not to affect his Masters faults and consequently is revolted from his Allegiance Setter Undoubtedly 't is impossible to be a Pimp and not a Man of parts That is without being politick diligent secret wary and soforth And to all this valiant as Hercules That is passively valiant and actively obedient Ah! Setter what a treasure is here lost for want of being known Lucy Here 's some Villany a Foot lies so thoughtful may be I may discover something in my Masque Worthy Sir a word with you Puts on her Masque Setter Why if I were known I might come to be a great Man Lucy Not to intempt your meditation Setter And I should not be the first that has procur'd his greatness by Pimping Lucy Now Poverty and the Pox light upon thee for a Contemplative Pimp Setter Ha! what art who thus maliciously hast awakned me from my Dream of Glory speak thou vile Disturber Lucy Of thy most vile Cogitations Thou poor Conceited Wretch how wer 't thou valuing thy self upon thy Masters employment For he 's the head Pimp to Mr. Bellmour Setter Good Words Damsel or I shall But how dost thou know my Master or me Lucy Yes I know both Master and Man to be Setter To be Men perhaps nay faith like enough I often march in the