politique dissembling Knight Now he perceives my Father so affectionate And that my brother may hereafter liue By him and his with equall vse of either He will put on a face of hollowe friendship But this will proue an excellent ground to sow The seede of mirthe amongst vs 〈◊〉 go seeke Valerio and my brother and tell them Such newes of their affaires as they 'le admire Exit Enter Gazetta Bellonora Gratiana Gaze. How happie are your fortunes aboue mine Both still being woode and courted still so feeding On the delightes of loue that still you finde An appetite to more where I am cloyde And being bound to loue sportes care not for them Bell. That is your fault Gazetta we haue Loues And wish continuall company with them In honour'd marriage rites which you enioy But seld or neuer can we get a looke Of those we loue Fortunio my deare 〈◊〉 Dare not be knowne to loue me nor come neere My Fathers house where I as in a prison Consume my lost dayes and the tedious nights My Father guarding me for one I 〈◊〉 And Gratiana here my brothers loue Ioyes him by so much 〈◊〉 that vehement feare Drinkes vp the sweetnesse of their stolne delightes Where you enloye a husband and may freely Performe all obsequies you desire to loue Gaze. Indeede I hane a husband and his 〈◊〉 Is more then I desire being vainely ielouse Extreames though contrarie haue the like effects Extreames heate mortifies like extreame colde Extreame loue breedes 〈◊〉 as well As extreame Hatred and too violent rigour Tempts Chastetie as much as too much Licence There 's no mans eye fixt on mee but doth pierce My Husbandes soule If any take my wel-fare Hee straight doubts Treason practis'd to his bed Fancies but to himselfe all likelihoods Of my wrong to him and layes all on mee For certaine trueths yet seekes he with his best To put Disguise on all his Ielosie Fearing perhaps least it may teach me that Which otherwise I should not dreame vpon Yet liues he still abrode at great expence Turns merely Gallant from his Farmers state Vses all Games and recreations Runnes Races with the 〈◊〉 of the Court Feastes them at home and entertaines them costly And then vpbraydes mee with their companie Enter 〈◊〉 See see wee shal be troubl'd with him now Cor. Now Ladyes what plots haue we now in hand They say when onely one Dame is alone Shee plots some mischiefe but if three together They plot three hundred Wife the Ayre is sharpe Y 'ad best to take the house least you take cold Gaz. Ahlas this time of yeere yeeldes no such danger Cor. Goe in I say a friend of yours attends you Gaz. Hee is of your bringing and may stay Cor. Nay stand not chopping Logicke in I pray Gaz. Yee see Gentle women what my happines is These humors raigne in mariage humors humors Exit he followith 〈◊〉 Now by my Sooth I am no fortune teller And would be loth to prooue so yet pronounce This at aduenture that t' were indecorum This Heffer should want hornes â—ll.. Fie on this Loue I rather wish to want then purchase so Gra. In deede such Loue is like a Smokie fire In a cold morning though the Fire be cheerefull Yet is the Smoke so sowre and combersome T' were better lose the Fire then finde the Smoke Such an attendant then as Smoke to Fire Is Ielosie to Loue Better want both Then haue both Enter Ualerio and Fortunio Ual. Come Fortunio now take hold On this occasion as my selfe on this One couple more would make a Barly-breake For. I feare Valerio wee shall breake too soone Your Fathers Ielosie Spy-all will displease 〈◊〉 Val. Well Wench the daye will come his Argus eyes Will shut and thou shalt open Sfoote I thinke Dame Natures memorie begins to fayle her If I write but my Name in Mercers Bookes I am as sure to haue at sixe months end A Rascole at my elbow with his Mace As I am sure my Fathers not farre hence My Father yet hath ought Dame Nature debt These threescore yeeres and ten yet cals not on him But if shee turne her Debt-booke ouer once And finding him her debtor do but send Her Sergeant Iohn Death to arrest his body Our Soules shall rest Wench then And the free Light Shall triumph in our faces where now Night In imitation of my Fathers frownes Lowres at our meeting Enter Rinald See where the Scholler comes Rin. Downe on your 〈◊〉 poore louers reuerence learning For. I pray thee why Rinaldo Rin. Marke what cause Flowes from my depth of knowledge to your loue To make you kneele and blesse me while you liue Ual. I pray thee good Scholards giue vs cause Rin. Marke then erect your eares you know what horror Would flye on your loue from your fathers frownes If he should know it And your sister here My brothers sweete hart knowes aswell what 〈◊〉 Would sease his powers for her if he should knowe My brother woo'd her or that she lou'd him Is not this true speake all Omn. All this is true Rin. It is as true that now you meete by stelth In depth of midnight kissing out at grates Clime ouer walles And all this 〈◊〉 reforme Vale. By Logicke Rin. Well sir you shall haue all meanes To liue in one house eate and drinke together Meete and kisse your fils Ual. All this by learning Rin. I and your frowning father know all this Val. I marry small learning may proue that Rin. Nay he shall know it and desire it too Welcome my Brother to him and your wife Entreating both to come and dwell with him Is not this strange For. I too strange to be true Rin. T is in this head shall worke it Therefore heare Brother this Lady you must call your wife For I haue tolde her sweet harts Father here That she is your wife and because my Father Who now beleeues it must be quieted Before you see him you must liue a while As husband to her in his Fathers house Ualerio here 's a simple meane for you To lye at racke and manger with your wedlocke And brother for your selfe to meete as freely With this your long desir'd and barred loue For. You make vs wonder Rin. Peace be ruld by mee And you shall see to what a perfect shape â—e bring this rude Plott which blind Chaunce the Ape Of Counsaile aduice hath brought foorth blind Ualerio can your heat of loue forbeare Before your Father and allow my Brother To vse some kindnes to your wife before him Ual. I before him I do not greatlie care Nor anie where in deed my Sister heere Shall be my spie if shee will wrong her selfe And giue her right to my wife I am pleasd For. My dearest life I know will neuer feare Anie such will or thought in all my powers When I court her then thinke I thinke t is thee When I embrace her hold thee in mine Armes Come let vs practise gainst
AL FOOLES A Comody Presented at the Black Fryers And lately before his Maiestie Written by George Chapman AT LONDON Printed for Thomas Thorpe 1605 Actors Gostanzo Knights Mar. Antonio Knights Valerio sonne to Gostanzo Fortunio elder sonne to Marc Antonio Rynaldo the younger Dariotto Courtiers Claudio Courtiers Cornelio A start-vp Gentleman Curio a Page Kyte a Scriuener Fraunces Pock a Surgeon Gazetta wife to Cor Bellonora daughter to Gostanzo Gratiana Stolne wife to Valerio Prologus THe fortune of a Stage like Fortunes selfe Amazeth greatest iudgements And none knowes The hidden causes of those strange effects That rise from this Hell or fall from this Heauen Who can shew cause why your wits that in-ayme At higher Obiects scorne to compose Playes Though we are sure they could would they vouchsafe it Should without meanes to make iudge better farre Then those that make and yet yee see they can For without your applause wretched is he That vndertakes the Stage and he 's more blest That with your glorious fauours can contest Who can shew cause why th' ancient Comick vaine Of Eupolis and Cratinus now reuiu'd Subiect to personall application Should be exploded by some bitter splenes Yet merely Comicall and harmelesse iestes Though nere so witty be esteem'd but toyes If voide of th other satyrismes sauce Who can shew cause why quick Uenerian iestes Should sometimes rauish sometimes fall farre short Of the iust length and pleasure of your eares When our pure Dames thinke them much lesse obscene Then those that winne your Panegyrick splene But our poore doomes alas you know are nothing To your inspired censure euer we Must needs submit and there 's the mistery Great are the giftes giuen to vnited heades To gifts attyre to faire attyre the stage Helps much for if our other audience see You on the stage depart before we end Our wits goe with you all and we are fooles So Fortune gouernes in these stage euents That merit beares least sway in most contents Auriculas Asini quis non habet How we shall then appeare we must referre To Magicke of your doomes that neuer erre All Fooles Actus primi Scaena prima Enter Rynaldo Fortunio Valerio Ryn. CAn one selfe cause in subiects so a like As you two are produce effect so vnlike One like the Turtle all in mournefull straines Wailing his fortunes Th' other like the Larke Mounting the sky in shrill and cheerefull notes Chaunting his ioyes aspir'd and both for loue In one loue rayseth by his violent heate Moyst vapours from the heart into the eyes From whence they drowne his brest in dayly showers In th' other his diuided power infuseth Onely a temperate and most kindly warmth That giues life to those fruites of wit and vertue Which the vnkinde hand of an vnciuile father Had almost nipt in the delightsome blossome For. O brother loue rewards our seruices With a most partiall and iniurious hand If you consider well our different fortunes Valerio loues and ioyes the dame he loues I loue and neuer can enioy the sight Of her I loue so farre from conquering In my desires assault that I can come To lay no battry to the Fort I seeke All passages to it so strongly kept By straite guard of her Father Ryn. I dare sweare If iust desert in loue measur'd reward Your fortune should exceede Valerios farre For I am witnes being your Bed fellow Both to the dayly and the nightly seruice You doe vnto the deity of loue In vowes sighes teares and solitary watches He neuer serues him with such sacrifice Yet hath his Bowe and shaftes at his commaund Loues seruice is much like our humorous Lords Where Minions carry more then Seruitors The bolde and carelesse seruant still obtaines The modest and respectiue nothing gaines You neuer see your loue vnlesse in dreames He Hymen puts in whole possession What different starres raign'd when your loues were borne He forc't to weare the Willow you the horne But brother are you not asham'd to make Your selfe a slaue to the base Lord of loue Be got of Fancy and of Beauty borne And what is Beauty a meere Quintessence Whose life is not in being but in seeming And therefore is not to all eyes the same But like a cousoning picture which one way Shewes like a Crowe another like a Swanne And vpon what ground is this Beauty drawne Vpon a Woman a most brittle creature And would to God for my part that were all Fort. But tell me brother did you neuer loue Ryn. You know I did and was belou'd againe And that of such a Dame as all men deem'd Honour'd and made me happy in her fauours Exceeding faire she was not and yet faire In that she neuer studyed to be fayrer Then Nature made her Beauty cost her nothing Her vertues were so rare they would haue made An Aethyop beautifull At least so thought By such as stood aloofe and did obserue her With credulous eyes But what they were indeed I le spare to blaze because I lou'd her once Onely I found her such 〈◊〉 for her sake I vow eternall warres against their whole sexe Inconstant shuttle-cocks louing fooles and 〈◊〉 Men rich in durt and tytles sooner woone With the most vile then the most vertuous Found true to none if one amongst whole hundreds Chance to be chaste she is so proude withall Way ward and rude that one of vnchaste life Is oftentimes approu'd a worthier wife Vndressed sluttish nasty to their husbands Spung'd vp adorn'd and painted to their louers All day in cesselesse vprore with their housholdes If all the night their husbands haue not pleas'd them Like hounds most kinde being beaten and abus'd Like wolues most cruell being kindelyest vs'd For. Fye thou prophan'st the deity of their sexe Ry. Brother I read that Aegipt heretofore Had Temples of the riches frame on earth Much like this goodly edifice of women With Alablaster pillers were those Temples Vphelde and beautified and so are women Most curiously glaz'd and so are women Cunningly painted too and so are women In out-side wondrous heauenly so are women But when a stranger view'd those phanes within In stead of Gods and Goddesses he should finde A painted fowle a fury or a serpent And such celestiall inner parts haue women Val. Rynaldo the poore Foxe that lost his tayle Perswaded others also to loose theirs Thy selfe for one perhaps that for desert Or some defect in thy attempts refus'd thee Reuil'st the whole sexe beauty loue and all I tell thee Loue is Natures second sonne Causing a spring of vertues where he shines And as without the Sunne the Worlds great eye All colours beauties both of Arte and Nature Are giuen in vaine to men so without loue All beauties bred in women are in vaine All vertues borne in men lye buried For loue informes them as the Sunne doth colours And as the Sunne reflecting his warme beames Against the earth begets all fruites and flowers So loue fayre shining in the inward man
that onely she and you know Rein. Well sir go on I pray Gost. Haue I fond wretch With vtmost care and labour brought thee vp Euer instructing thee omitting neuer The office of a kinde and carefull Father To make thee wise and vertuous like thy father And hast thou in one acte euerted all Proclaim'd thy selfe to all the world a foole To wedde a begger Val. Father say not so Nay shee s thy owne here rise foole take her to thee Liue with her still I know thou countst thy selfe Happy in soule onely in winning her Be happy still heere take her hand enioy her Would not a sonne hazard his Fathers wrath His reputation in the world his birth-right To haue but such a messe of broth as this Marc. Be not so violent I pray you good Gostanzo Take truce with passion licence your sad sonne To speake in his excuse Gost. What what excuse Can any orator in this case excuse him What can he say what can be said of any Val. Ahlas sir heare me all that I can say In my excuse is but to shew loues warrant Gost. Notable wagge Val. I know I haue committed A great impiety not to mooue you first Before the dame I meant to make my wife Consider what I am yet young and greene Beholde what she is is there not in her I m her very eye a power to conquer Euen age it selfe and wisdome call to minde Sweete Father what your selfe being young haue bin Thinke what you may be for I doe not thinke The world so farre spent with you but you may Looke back on such a beauty and I hope To see you young againe and to liue long With young affections wisdome makes a man Liue young for euer and where is this wisdome If not in you ahlas I know not what Rests in your wisedome to subdue affections But I protest it wrought with me so strongly That I had quite bin drownd in seas of teares Had I not taken hold in happy time Of this sweete hand my hart had beene consum'de T' a heape of Ashes with the flames of loue Had it not sweetly bin asswag'd and cool'd With the moist kisses of these sugred lippes Gost. O puisant wag what huge large thongs he cuts Out of his friend Fortunios stretching leather Marc. He knows he does it but to blinde my eyes Gost. O excellent these men will put vp any thing Ual. Had I not had her I had lost my life Which life indeed I would haue lost before I had displeasd you had I not receau'd it From such a kinde a wise and honour'd Father Gost. Notable Boy Val. Yet doe I here renounce Loue life and all rather then one houre longer Indure to haue your loue eclipsed from me Gra. O I can hold no longer if thy words Be vs'd in earnest my Valerio Thou woundst my hart but I know t ist in Iest Gost. No I le be sworne she has her lyripoope too Grat. Didst thou not sweare to loue me spight of Father all the world That nought should seuer vs but death it selfe Ual. I did but if my father Will haue his sonne foresworne vpon his soule The blood of my black periurie shall lye For I will seeke his fauour though I dye Gost. No no liue still my sonne thou well shalt know I haue a fathers hart come ioyne your hands Still keepe thy vowes and liue together still Till cruell death set foote betwixt you both Val. O speake you this in earnest Gost. I by heauen Val. And neuer to recall it Gost. Not till death Rinal. Excellent sir you haue done like your selfe What would you more Valerio Ual. Worshipfull Father Rinal. Come sir come you in and celebrate your ioyes Exeunt all saue the old men Gost. O Marc-Antonio Had I not armd you with an expectation Would not this make you pawne your very soule The wench had bin my sonnes wife Marc. Yes by heauen A knauerie thus effected might deceiue A wiser man then I for I ah las Am noe good polititian plaine beleeuing Simple honesty is my policy still Gost, The visible markes of folly honesty and quick Credulitie his yonger brother I tell you Marc-Antonio there is mutch In that young boy my Sonne Marc. Not much honesty if I may speake without offence to his father Gost. O God you cannot please me better sir H 'as honesty enough to serue his turne The lesse honesty euer the more wit But goe you home and vse your daughter kindly Meane time I le schoole your sonne and do you still Dissemble what you know keepe off your sonne The wench at home must still be my sonnes wife Remember that and be you blinded still Marc. You must remember too to let your sonne Vse his accustom'd visitations Onely to blinde my eyes Gost. He shall not faile But still take you heede haue a vigilant eye On that slie childe of mine for by this light Hee le be too bould with your sonnes forhead els Marc. Well sir let me alone I le beare a braine Exeunt Enter Ualerio Rynaldo Val. Come they are gone Ryn. Gone they were farre gone heere Val. Guld I my father or guld he himselfe Thou toldst him Gratiana was my wife I haue confest it he has pardoned it Ryn. Nothing more true enow can witnesse it And therefore when he comes to learne the truth As certainly for all these slie disguises Time will strip Truth into her nakednesse Thou hast good plea against him to confesse The honor'd Action and to claime his pardon Val. T is true for all was done he deeply swore Out of his hart Ryn. He has much faith the whiles That swore a thing so quite against his hart Val. Why this is pollicie Ryn. Well see you repaire To Gratiana daily and enioy her In her true kinde and now we must expect The resolute and ridiculous diuorce Cornelio hath sued against his wedlock Val. I thinke it be not so the Asse dotes on her Ryn. It is too true and thou shalt answere it For setting such debate twixt man and wife See we shall see the solemne maner of it Enter Cor Darioto Claud. Notarie Page Gazetta Bell Gratiana Bell. Good Signior Cornelio let vs poore Gentlewomen intreate you to forbeare Cor. Talke no more to me I le not be made Cuckold in my owne house Notarie read me the diuorce Gazet. My deare Cornelio examine the cause better before you condemne me Cor. Sing to me no more Syren for I will heare thee no more I will take no compassion on thee Page Good Signior Cornelio be not too mankinde against your wife say y' are a cuckold as the best that is may be so at 〈◊〉 time will you make a trumpet of your owne hornes Cor. Goe too sir y' are a rascall we giue you a fee for pleading for her one day Notary doe you your office Val. Goe too Signior looke better to your wife and be better aduised before you grow to this extremitie Cor.
I scorn to set my head against yours d' ye see when in the meane time I will fircke your father whether you see or no Exit drawing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Rin. Gods my life Cornelio Exit Val. Haue at your father ifaith boy if he can find him Mar. See he comes here he has mist him Enter Dariot Dar. How now my hearts what not a wench amongst you T is a signe y' are not in the grace of wenches That they will let you be thus long alone Val. Well Dariotto glory not too much That for thy briske attyre and lips perfumde Thou play playest the Stally on euer where thou com'st And like the husband of the flocke runn'st through The whole towne heard and no mans bed secure No womans honour vnattempted by thee Thinke not to be thus fortunate for euer But in thy amorous conquests at the last Some wound will slice your mazer Mars himselfe Fell into 〈◊〉 snare and so may you Dar. Alas alas fayth I haue but the name I loue to court and wynne and the consent Without the act obtayn'd is all I seeke I loue the victory that drawes no bloud Clâ—u. O t is a high desert in any man To be a secret Lecher I know some That like thy selfe are true in nothing else Mar. And me thinks it is nothing if not told At least the ioy is neuer full before Val. Well Dariotto th'hadst as good confesse The Sunne shines broad vpon your practises Vulcan will wake and intercept you one day Dar. Why the more ielous knaue and coxcombe he VVhat shall the shaking of his bed a little Put him in motion It becomes him not Let him be duld and stald and then be quiet The way to draw my costome to his house Is to be mad and ielous t is the sauce That whets my appetite Val. Or any 〈◊〉 Sine periculo 〈◊〉 lusus They that are ielous vse it still of purpose To draw you to their houses Dar. I by heauen I am of that opinion Who would steale Out of a common Orchard Let me gayne My loue with labour and inioy 't with feare Or I am gone Enter Rinaldo Rin. What Dariotto here Foot dar'st thou come neere Cornelioes house Dar. Why is the Bull run mad what ayles he trow Rin. I know not what he ayles but I would wish you To keepe out of the reach of his sharpe hornes For by this hand hee le gore you Dar. And why me More then thy selfe or these two other whelps You all haue basted him as well as I I wonder what 's the cause Rin. Nay that he knowes And sweares withall that wheresoere he meets you Hee le marke you for a marker of mens wines Val. Pray heauen he be not ielous by some tales That haue bin told him lately did you neuer Attempt his wife hath no Loues Harbenger No looks no letters past twixt you and her Dar. For looke I cannot answere I bestow them At large and carelesly much like the Sunne If any be so foolish to apply them To any priuate fancy of their owne As many doe it 's not my fault thou knowest Val. Well Dariotto this set face of thine If thou be guilty of offence to him Comes out of very want of wit and feeling What danger haunts thee for Cornelio 〈◊〉 a tall man I tell you and 't were best You shund his sight awhile till we might get His patience or his pardon for past doubt Thou dyest if he but see thee Enter Cornelio Rin. Foot he comes Dar. Is this the Cockatrice that kils with 〈◊〉 How doest thou boy ha Cor. Well Dar. What lingring still About this paltry towne hadst thou bin rulde By my aduice thou hadst by this time bene A gallant Courtyer and at least a Knight I would haue got thee dubd by this time certayne Cor. And why then did you not your selfe that honour Dar. Tush t is more honour still to make a Knight Then t is to be a Knight to make a Cuckold Then t is to be a Cuckold Cor. Y' are a villayne Dar. God shield man villayne Cor. I I le proue thee one Dar. What wilt thou proue a villayne By this light thou deceyu'st me then Cor. Well sir thus I proue it Drawes Oâ—n. Hold hold rayse the streets Clau. Cornelio Rin. Hold Darioto hold Val. What art thou hurt Dar. A scratch a scratch Val. Goe sirra fetch a Surgeon Cor. You le set a badge on the ielous fooles head sir Now set a Coxcombe on your owne Val. What 's the cause of these warres Darioto Dar. Foot I know not Cor. Well sir know and spare not I will presently bee diuorst and then take her amongst ye Rin. Diuorst nay good Cornelia Cor. By this sword I will the world shall not disswade me Exit Val. Why this has bin your fault now Darioto You youths haue fashions when you haue obtei'nd A Ladies fauour straight your hat must weare it Like a Iacke-daw that when he lights vpon A dainty morsell kaas and makes his brags And then some kite doth scoope it from him straight Where if he fed without his dawish noise He might fare better and haue lesse disturbance Forbeare it in this case and when you proue Victorious ouer faire Gazettas Forte Doe not for pittie sound your trumpe for ioy But keepe your valour close and 〈◊〉 your honour Enter Page and Pock Poc. God saue you Signior Darioto Dar. I know you not Sir your name I pray Poc. My name is Pock Sir a practitioner in Surgery Dar. Pock the Surgeon y' are welcome Sir I know a Doctor of your name maister Pocke Poc. My name has made many Doctors Sir Rinal. Indeede t is a worshipfull name Val. Mary is it and of an auncient discent Poc. Faith Sir I could fetch my pedigree far if I were so dispos'd Rin. Out of France at least Poc. And if I stood on my armes as others doe Dar. No doe not Pock let other stand a their armes and thou a thy legs as long as thou canst Poc. Though I liue by my bare practise yet I could shew good cardes for my Gentilitie Val. Tush thou canst not shake off thy gentry Pock t is bred i' th bone but to the maine Pock what thinkest thou of this gentlemans wound Pock canst thou cure it Pock Poc. The incision is not deepe nor the Orifice exorbitant the Pericranion is not dislocated I warrant his life for forty crownes without perishing of any 〈◊〉 Dar. Faith Pock t is a ioynt I would be loath to loose for the best ioynt of Mutton in Italy Rin. Would such a scratch as this hazards a mans head Foc. I Byr-lady Sir I haue knowen some haue lost there heads for a lesse matter I can tell you therefore sir you must keepe good dyet if you please to come home to my house till you be perfectly cur'd I shall haue the more care on you Val. That 's your onely course to haue it well quickly Poc. By what time