to require it of us My third Prayer pass'd on in these Thoughts that the most Sacred Trinity being Eternally Knowledge and Love Substantial my Soul ought to endeavour to produce in her self an actual knowledge and love of God the better to resemble this adorable Trinity A Soul in the state of Contemplation renders this honour to God in a more peculiar manner enjoying God by the guift of Prayer in as transcendent a manner as Mortality permits 'T is true the prospect I have of this Divine Life here below draws my Soul Powerfully after it and I love it better than formerly But I see that to persevere therein we must be very poor in Spirit that is not only free from exorbitant Passions but all distracting Images which pass by the senses that are not Mortified News attended with curiosity or the eyes attached to sensible objects or such like immortifications fill the Soul with unprofitable Images which make her uncapable of Divine impressions by corresponding to which we most benefit our selves and most glorifie God In my fourth Prayer I was taken up with a view of those amorous complacencies and those Infinite joyes wherewith the three Divine Persons replenish the Souls of the blessed in Heaven It seem'd to me that the Happiness of the Saints was the clear vision of the Ineffable Mystery of the most Sacred Trinity and to be made partakers of that knowledge and love which is reciprocal among the Divine Persons To see God clearly is the Beatifical Vision Alas how ought we to be humbled to consider how Infinitely we fall short in our Devotions of the continual Hallelujahs of the Saints in Glory Yet this is the end of our Creation and our hope is at last to bear them company O how this life is poor and miserable where all is vanity and vexation of Spirit The view of my own weakness making me sensible that all I do for God is as nothing what shall I say at the sight of my sins and unworthiness I have nothing to say dear Lord but that I merit Eternal Confusion which must needs fall upon me unless your goodness have pity on me according to the greatness of your Mercies Can we imagine we can do any thing too much for God 'T is for the glory of his Bounty and Goodness that he is pleas'd to accept of our small service and endeavours and reward them eternally O how great a Truth is it that Grace and Glory are the effects of his pure Goodness and Mercy vouchsafed to us Blessed be his Name to all Eternity Third Day IN my first Prayer of this day I consider'd that the three Divine Persons were Happy in Contemplation of themselves from all Eternity When they created the World the Preservation and Government thereof does not at disturb their repose and Felicity The Father is the center of the Son and the Father and the Son is the center of the Holy Ghost Three in One and one in Three Infinitely Happy in each other before all Time and shall be to all Eternity O what ravishing Beauties do they behold in each other and what unspeakable Delights do they take in ther Infinite Perfections Nothing without them can interrupt their Joys or add to their Happiness Tho true Solitaries who live the Life of God in like manner repose only in him and being dead to themselves and all Creatures live only in him to him and for him O Divine Life of Solitude Thou art here begun on Earth and canst not be perfected but in Heaven A true Hermits life is not a Sensual but Divine Life God calling me to Contemplation I will repare to Church as to a Hermitage where I may live this Divine Life The Psalmody there much rejoyces my heart and lifts up my Soul to Contemplation Through Natural Considerations I have condescended to please others against my own inclination but now I have the Happiness to converse with the three Divine Persons I can no more relish the Company of my Friends and Relations except rarely to maintain Peace and Union or for some great necessity and if they be displeas'd I must not value it My second Prayer was an amorous attention upon what past Eternally among the three Divine Persons How the Father knowing his Divine Perfections did beget his Son and how the Father and the Son by an Infinite Love did produce the Holy Ghost The Father is an Infinite Ocean of Perfections by an Infinite Fecundity begetting his Son and they being absorpt in each other produce the Holy Spirit by an everlasting flux and reflux of Love This I did contemplate with great repose of Soul and yielded up the Intellectual Powers thereof to the obedience of Faith to receive some Rayes of Divine Light about such great and Incomprehensible Mysteries God then working in my Soul I became passive contenting my self to behold simply and sweetly the Infinite operations of the Sacred Trinity and said within my self Blessed Trinity know your selves for I can do nothing towards it 't is enough for me to contemplate that mutual Love which is among you which I believe and admire with adoration It seems to me that no other Mystery of our Faith can so take up and content my Soul nothing being more Divine than the Divinity No other practice is so charming to me we being created to know that Knowledge and to love that Love which God has to himself to all Eternity In my third Prayer I consider'd the Souls of Just Men and Blessed Spirits are as so many Sacred Vessels into whom God infuses his love and knowledge by a continual emanation Which love and knowledge returns to God its source as the water of a running Fountain rises as high as the Spring from whence it had its Origen This love and knowledge does establish God in us and also does firmly establish us in God So that God takes a delight and repose in the Soul and the Soul finds her center and rest in him Thereby faintly representing how the Divine Persons have a mutual repose in each other Empty Vessels are most capable to be fill'd And by how much the more our Souls are empty of Self-love and Nature by so much the more are they capable of Divine Love and Knowledge A Soul in such a state delights in Solitude and cares not to live in the thoughts and affections of men What most saddens our Spirits and retards us in the ways of God is a natural aversion we have from a hidden life For man naturally desires to be known and lov'd and thinks life is as nothing without repute And as long as we are full of this liquor we are not vessels proper to receive the influences of Divine Love and Knowledge Let us O my Soul empty our selves of self-Self-love that Divine Love may take place in us In my fourth Prayer I found an amorous complacency in my Soul in that God being but One doth subsist in three Persons knowing and loving themselves
co-operation O how did I discover clearly the abuses most men commit by profaning the Faculties of their Soul in employing them about Vanities and unprofitable Curiosities as are for the most part our Worldly Affairs We see not except in a Retreat and Solitude how Worldly business hinders the actual knowledge and love of God wherein consists the true Life of our Soul O the happy condition of true Solitaries O how great Wisdom is it to free our selves from Worldly Affairs the better to mind the one thing necessary that is to live a life Divine for which we were created Let us O my Soul flie from distractions and the amusement of Affairs which engage us in a thousand Discourses Vanities Extravagancies and Weaknesses Let us be Faithful O my Soul and give our selves up wholly to God that we may live up to the end of our Creation In my third Prayer this Truth made deep impression on me that the most Sacred Trinity made Man after the Image of God which afterwards being disfigured by sin the same adorable Trinity vouchsafed to imprint it anew and more exactly in our Holy Baptism when we are Baptiz'd In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost We owe our Christianity to this impression of the three Divine Persons We enter not into the Church but by this great and ineffable Mystery which is the foundation of our Catholick Faith I do not see that the Sacred Trinity brings forth any thing created of a more noble Production than a Christian the whole Machine of the World is less considerable for the order thereof is only Natural but a Christian is a Supernatural work wherein it seems the most Sacred Trinity takes delight to be born as it were anew by imprinting his Image in our Souls Shall we deface this Image to make our Souls deformed by some monstruous resemblance Yet this is that we do O my Soul when instead of carefully preserving the Image of the most Sacred Trinity imprinted on us by Baptism not considering the great Honour and Happiness we receive thereby we deform our selves by sin and deface this Image with unclean resemblances O my Soul when shall we be purified Flie from the World and betake thy self to a Holy Solitude For my fourth Prayer God was pleas'd to inspire me with this thought that my Conversation ought to be in Heaven already that is in God for 't is God is our Heaven and 't is in Him I ought to take up my Mansion seeing I was created to consider his Eternal and Temporal Affairs and to contemplate his Infinite Perfections I call the Eternal Affairs of God his Divine Interiour operations the generation of the Eternal Word the procession of the Holy Spirit and the Infinite Complacency which he takes in his incomprehensible Beauties and Grandeurs the Eternal Designs of the Mysteries of the Word made Flesh which was to be accomplish'd in the fulness of time in which however he took an Infinite satisfaction from all Eternity I call the Temporal Affairs of God the execution of his Divine Decrees touching the Mystery of the Incarnation and Passion of Jesus Christ the Creation of the World the Justification and Reprobation of Men God before all time having Infinite Sallies in himself by the Production of the Son and Holy Spirit hath in time had Sallies out of himself full of wonders and admiration O my God how a Soul enlightned from Heaven finds great joy and content in contemplating these Eternal and Temporal Verities out of which all is but deceit and vanity But how low Spirited are they who never attempt the knowledge of these Truths For my part I will never more stand in admiration to see the Holy Hermits forsake the World with intentions never more to return to earthly matters when once they have discover'd the Truth and Beauty of things Eternal and Divine O my God make me dead to the World that I may live to you alone and my Thoughts may be only taken up with your Perfections Second Day BEhold what suddenly comes into my mind about this great and incomprehensible Mystery I am wonderfully content to be in a state of inability to understand it in that the Powers of my Soul are led captive by Faith surrounded with Clouds This inability this obscurity this captivity are pleasing to me and for the future I 'll believe that there is no better way upon earth to please God then by submitting our understanding and will to his Revelations Yea I do more value this captivity to Faith in believing what I see not than all Splendours imaginable How is this submission of our Spirit naturally curious and inquisitive pleasing to God! How much hereby do we honour and glorifie him O glorious Saints with all due reverence I challenge you to be more in love with your Eternal Splendours than I am with these Clouds of Holy Faith If you be content I am no less to be so happy as willingly to captivate my understanding to the high Mysteries God has revealed And that which fills me with joy and makes me happy before I come to Heaven is to find my will in perfect submission to my God and to the meanest Creature for love of him O blessed Souls I am a little too bold with you yet I speak the Truth and ye well know it I aspire to Perfection of Divine Love and this submission is the way to practise it A way sure and excellent In my second Prayer I yet found my Soul taken up with the Grandeurs of this incomprehensible Mystery and being almost lost in this Ocean of infinite wonders was full of Faith and Sweetness at the sight of such adorable Perfections though all surrounded with clouds of darkness For as soon as this Mystery presents it self to the eye of the Soul her light is obscured and casts our Spirit into a thick darkness which yet brings with it a Light to see what reason cannot Nox illuminatio mea My night hath some day and I perceive the Infinite distance between the Creator and his Creature and being plung'd into the Abiss of my own Nothingness I acknowledge O my God and adore your Grandeurs and Perfections I admire I love I obey O my God I adore and believe stedfastly what you are pleas'd to reveal to your Church I neither know nor comprehend nor desire it but am content with my ignorance and submission Let us O my Soul abide as low and abject as Grace can make us for nothing renders us more pleasing to God than profound Humility and annihilation God who is infinitely delighted to dwell in his own Grandeurs is also well pleas'd to see an abject Creature content with its own nothing 'T is an error in Spirituality and savours of self-love to shun abjection under pretence to advance our selves in Divine Love O my Soul let us comply with Gods will and march on in the ways of abjection if God be pleas'd
things else are but deceit and vanity 3. They considering the Mysteries of Jesus begin to discover the beauty of his Humiliations and Sufferings which yet is shadowed with some obscurity 4. Their eyes being more open'd they behold distinctly the Beauty of the Sufferings Contempts and Poverty of the Word Incarnate and thereupon conceives a great contempt of the World 5. In persuance hereof they contemplate the Divine Mysteries and if they be Faithful to imitate Christ Crucified they will arrive to a great knowledge of the Divinity 6. Then if they keep close to Purity of Heart they are wholly in a manner taken up with the Divine and Humane Mysteries of Jesus being very sensible what an Infinite Mercy it is to be deliver'd from the darkness of that ignorance which is in carnal men who have no feeling in the things of God or their Salvation 7. Their Light increasing they more and more discover the Perfections of God in the Creatures more clearly without comparison in the Sacred Humanity of Jesus but yet more transcendently in their Source the Divinity sweetly applying themselves thereto with much Felicity Behold this is what God gave me to know â—n a little time and this Light will increase if I be Faithful to practice the Virtues of Jesus Crucified who is the True Way to the Divinity the center of the Soul and her perfect repose In my third Prayer I found my self in a disposition to admire the operations of the Holy Spirit in our Souls God our Creator works in them what he pleases he having endowed them with a certain capacity extraordinary to receive his extraordinary Divine operations This must needs be extraordinary to our Faculties which before had great difficulty in believing the Mysteries of Faith and with great obscurity and with little or no gust But no sooner is this Light darted into our Souls but we see and tast them with great delight not as in Glory but in a very sublime and extraordinary manner The Meditations of many years cannot attain to this 't is a special gift we must receive from the Father of Lights to which we can only dispose our selves by Humility and Mortification O what Happiness is it for a Mortal man to be thus elevated and Spiritualiz'd by the Holy Ghost Let us therefore O my Soul humble our selves profoundly for the Spirit of God takes not up his Mansion but in a humble heart I know we ought to go whither God is pleas'd to Call us and not refuse his Gifts under the pretence of a counterfeit Humility But I know also that 't is not displeasing to God for us to be careful how we entertain extraordinary attracts least we be too ready by innate Pride of heart to walk in ways above our capacity In my fourth Prayer I consider'd the admirable preventions of the Holy Spirit in the conduct of Souls How he awakes us from the sleep of sin and draws us from the love of the World to unite us to himself by undeserved preventing Graces What wonders are there unknown to Carnal men which pass in these preventions I know nothing that may work in us more Love or more Humility For would any but a God of Infinite Goodness look with an eye of Mercy upon a Soul all black with Sin Ingratitude and Infidelity This miserable Creature is beloved of God having nothing to invite him but on the contrary to avert him from us and if his exceeding love had not surmounted the Infinite hatred God has of sin we had perish'd for ever without a Saviour To Love us Redeem us and prevent us with such Mercies does only proceed from his incomprehensible Goodness I am astonish'd to see that any Soul believing these admirable preventions should not be enflam'd with Divine Love What can more humble a poor Creature than to consider that we are nothing but Misery from which we can never free our selves unless God prevent us with his Grace and Favour What can more enflame us with Divine Love than to consider that God then loved us and prevented us with his unspeakable Mercies when we were just objects of his Eternal Hatred O my God who can comprehend the riches of your Infinite Goodness O my Soul acknowledge with thankfulness the great obligations thou hast to Love God with all thy Powers and Loving him to Praise him to all Eternity Eighth Day IN my first Prayer this thought presently possess'd my mind that all Power is attributed to the Father all Wisdom to the Son and all Goodness to the Holy Ghost And seeing these three Divine Persons are in each other by a Communication of the same Substance and Infinite Perfections the Eternal Father is the Power of the Son and Holy Ghost the Son is the Wisdom of the Father and Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is the Goodness of the Father and the Son A pure Soul that lives in the sublime exercises of a Supernatural Life becomes a Mansion for the Divine Persons and receives from them the impressions of Power Wisdom and Goodness The Power of the Eternal Father dwelling in her gives her strength and a Christian generosity to conquer all the obstacles of Perfection and she discovers that many difficulties are rather imaginary than real insomuch as the Principal and the most difficult of Christian actions is to believe that they are possible and that nature shall not suffer so much thereby as is imagin'd The Wisdom of the Son cummunicated to her affords her Light and Overtures to defend her self against the apparent reasons of sensual nature which damp many excellent Spirits that they can make no great advancement in the ways of God because they have too much of humane consideration and too little of this Divine wisdom which discovers to us the Beauty of Contempts and Sufferings in following Jesus The Goodness of the Holy Spirit imprinted on her makes her conquer the Inclinations of corrupted nature which is more or less according to the degrees of Grace in us He that is Holy let him be Holy still but we shall never rise to the heighth 'till we come to Glory In my second Prayer I considered that the adorable Trinity is the Treasury of all Beings Increated and Created That in respect to the Divine and Uncreated Beeing the Eternal Father is a Treasury that is exhausted by communicating all his Infinite Perfections to the Son and Holy Ghost But in respect of Created Beings the Sacred Trinity is an inexhaustible Treasury because all the whole World or ten thousand more cannot exhaust or diminish the least drop of his Infinite Power and Goodness I was almost equally taken up with both these wonders That a Million of Worlds drawn out of the Treasury of Gods Omnipotency should not make the least diminution of his Power is certainly matter of admiration But much more that the Grandeurs of the Eternal Son should be so elevated above the World as to exhaust the whole Substance and Perfections of
Blessed in Heaven is Enjoyment but we Travellers on earth ought to desire nothing more then to suffer for Jesus This Suffering does mortifie Old Adam in us by Holy Violence makes us die to the World and separates from us whatever is Impure and Earthy as Gold is purified in a burning Furnace Our Corruption cannot be ruin'd but either by Fire or the Sword of Afflictions which should induce us to embrace them with Contentment seeing the more we Suffer the more we are Purified Let us have an Honourable esteem for the greatest Crosses because they work in us the profoundest Purity and the purest Love of God which is the Life of our Soul and the end of our Creation I am much pleas'd with my present state of affliction seeing it is the readiest way to form Jesus Christ in me and make me a Perfect Christian which is the work of works the highest Honour the richest Treasure and the Soveraign Happiness of this Life While we are Pilgrims on Earth we are exiles from Gods presence Which must needs be a Cross to Souls that sigh after the Beatifical vision I know not how it is but methinks I see more Purity of Love of resignation of Perfection in my present Suffering condition then what I have found in the joyes of union which puts my heart in repose and quiet It seems to me that I can say more truely than at other times O my God what do I desire in Heaven or on Earth but you who are my Portion and my Heritage for ever My Life is Crucified with Jesus Christ and altogether hid with him in the good Pleasure of God To send us Crosses and make us content with a Suffering condition is one of the choicest effects of the Providence of God Seeing he has an Infinite Love for himself his will is that all Creatures capable of his Love should love him also To dispose them thereto the better he sends them Crosses which purifie our corrupted Nature and produce in us dispositions fit for Divine Impressions O Infinite Goodness O merciful Justice I return you Thanks with all my Heart that you have afflicted me to make me love you Losses Contempts Poverty Sufferings come you are welcome my heart is open to give you entertainment Behold I receive you with open arms because you bring with you Divine Love CHAP. IV. God is pleas'd to send us Crosses in the place of Persecutions that our Life may be a continual Martyrdom I Am much taken with this Saying of St. Clement of Alexandria That seeing our Love and Fidelity to God does not at present appear by shedding our Blood for our Faith the Persecutions of Tyrants being ceas'd we must now manifest them by making our Faith visible in all our Actions To do the will of God is a great testimony of our Love to him but 't is a far greater to suffer for him Souls loving God and beloved of him are careful to correspond to Divine Graces whether by acting or Suffering and are so couragious in their Resolutions that no humane fears though of loss of Life it self is able to stop the torrent of their Affections Witness that good Religious man who askt his Spiritual Guide whether it was not better to die than complain of the Infirmarian who provided Diet not proper for him We now suffer more notably in some things than the Martyrs of Old by Bloody Persecutors For our Crosses Interiour or Exteriour being impressions of the Divine Holiness though they separate not the Soul from the Body yet they separate the Soul from the Love of all Creatures to unite us to God alone This Holiness of God having an Infinite abhorrence of whatsoever is not Pure and Holy Delights to purifie the Elect by Tribulations as Gold in the Fire When therefore the Soul feels her self as it were nail'd to the Cross by Derelictions Aridities and Interiour Sufferings let her not strive to free her self but continue in this Suffering contentedly as long as pleases God because hereby she Glorifies him and Purifies her self Seeing 't is certain that the Cross is the Source of Graces and Purity we are inconsiderate to complain and shun Afflictions for we flee from our advancement in Spirituality and the Purity of Love neither will we permit God to accomplish in us his good pleasure To die naked on the Cross is the ultimate disposition of pure Love 'T is in vain to pretend to the Perfection of Divine Love unless with St. Teresa We desire either to die or suffer The Holy Martyrs could not attain it but by dying for God nor we except by Suffering for him When I am in Prayer in the Presence of God I am much ashamed of my self to suffer so little and with so much Imperfection in a manner so different from the Saints I am in such confusion hereat that I dare hardly stay in Gods Presence were it not that to repair my Miseries and make him satisfaction I offer up to him Jesus suffering poor and abject for us sinners And thereupon I make resolutions to endure whatsoever Crosses happen to me with all the Fidelity that Grace requires It seems to me that a Soul can hardly be content without some Suffering or other I have had experience hereof in some little tempest that now is over And which is more I cannot believe so much content may be taken in limiting our sufferings as desiring greater if God thinks good because the Peace and Content of the Soul consists in Loving and Love is best satisfied with what most pleases God and therefore in suffering for him From these words of our Blessed Saviour If any one will come after me he must deny himself and take up his Cross and follow me I learn that the state of this present corrupt Life requires that we must live in a continual dying to the World seeing the enjoyment of Creatures does too much work upon our weakness to bring us off from God Our Corruption and the long habit of taking Pleasure in the things of this World makes it very difficult for us to live this dying Life which is a great Cross and a long Martyrdom It cannot be denyed but we must suffer much to arrive to the possession of God in a Super-natural Life however to taste the sweetness of God for one moment does Infinitely transcend the pains of gaining him And when he hides himself and tryes us with Derelictions what a Cross is it 'T is a state of great Perfection indeed to be content without Comforts both Divine and Humane Many Martyrs have suffered less in dying for God then the Soul does sometimes in this condition Patience a little and God e'er long will sufficiently recompense us with abundance of his Graces and Consolations Sometimes God seems to abandon his most Faithful Servants as he dealt with Holy Job permitting Satan to assault them with several Temptations sometimes against Charity sometimes against Chastity and sometimes against Faith 'T is
nothing as if I had been able to bestow much on pious uses The love of Jesus poor and despised did deeply pierce my heart and to satisfie my self therein I made them bring to me a poor Infant in whom methought I saw the Poverty of little Jesus and kissing his Hand I rendred what homage I could desiring to love poor Jesus to my last breath I acknowledge dear Jesus that I am very unworthy of your Divine states But alas must I die without entring effectually into the Poverty and Abjection of your Mortal Life At least O good Jesus I die with that Love and Respect I ought to have for them and be pleas'd to accept of that Conformity I desire to have for them I remember that Praying on Sunday in the Evening the day before I fell Sick at the Carmes Church where I was at Vespers our Blessed Saviour put these words into my mind Christo confixus sum Cruci I am fastned to Christ on the Cross Whereupon I felt an ardent desire to have not one moment of my Life without being able to say I am Crucified with Jesus Christ I think this Divine Love did then dispose me to be nailed on the Cross And in effect my Sickness beginning with a grievous Head-ach which made my eyes to be swoln with pain it came into my mind that I might on this occasion Honour the crowning of our Saviour with Thorns And it was some Contentment to me to have any conformity to this dolorous state of Jesus And as my pain did extend to all parts of my Body I imagin'd it had some little resemblance to the state of a Body Crucified Thus you have an account of my dispositions in this Sickness which I have done in obedience to the command imposed on me Perhaps they are explicated with too much advantage but the relation is true as to the substance Bless therefore with me the God of Mercies who has been pleas'd to be so bountiful to his most ungrateful Creature but it be-seem'd his Goodness to glorifie his Mercies by the greatness of my Miseries This then is my comfort and I cannot but declare his bounties to me and say Venite videte omnes qui timetis Deum quanta fecit Dominus animae meae Come all ye that fear God and see what great things he hath done for my Soul CHAP. VII Other Dispositions in the time of Sickness where both Body and Soul are on the Cross I Began to go out of that state wherein I had been more than five Weeks My corruptible Body did bring down the Soul as it were to nothing so that I had much ado either to know or love God of whom methought my Soul had little or no remembrance Seeing my self in this state of Incapacity I remain'd without any other prospect but of my own nothing and depth of my Miseries being amazed at the strange weakness of a Soul when left to her self This thought which wholly took up my Soul proceeded from a certain experience rather than any Light in the understanding 'Till God brought my Soul to this point she did not well know her own weakness but now she discover'd a thousand false Opinions and vain esteems she had of her self of her Lights Sentiments and Devotions She saw now she had some secret relyance on something besides God which she did not perceive till this state of privation What thus passed in me were the effects of a Natural Malady which nevertheless brought me to nothing and much humbled me For I was in so great a forgetfulness of God that you may be astonish'd at it and I would have hardly believ'd that a Soul having received so many sensible testimonies of the Love of God could ever have so long a privation of actual Love by reason of her former negligence and Infidelity What vast difference is there between my former and this Sickness In that my Soul was all inflamed with Divine Love luminous vigorous far above any disturbance from the Body In this she was cold and dark yea darkness it self feeble infirm depress'd and over-burden'd with mortal flesh We discover our Nothing and Frailties in Prayer but the Lights and Gusts that we receive therein hinder us from being sensible of them what makes us feel them to the quick must be some extraordinary affliction It seem'd to me that nothing was then prevalent in me but Sentiments of Impatience and inclinations to Peevishness but by the Grace of God I did not always consent to them though they often molested me I was somewhat encouraged by the Relation of the Happy Death of two Fathers of the Society who ended their days in the exercises of Charity after they had assisted the Souldiers many years attending them in their Maladies and dolorous Necessities to help them to live well and die Happily At last they died of the Plague and desiring passionately to suffer one of them gave great Stroaks with his Fist upon his Soar to endure something more for Jesu Christ whom they both lov'd with most ardent Affections 'T is said our Blessed Saviour appear'd to them at the point of Death to Crown them and make them Happy with his Presence after which they died Smiling full of Joy and Consolations This did much comfort me extremely rejoycing at their Happiness in that they died in the Service of the Hospital for Souldiers after they had continually endanger'd their Lives by exposing them to the Mouths of Musquets and Canons and a thousand Incommodities of Soul and Body by the cares and solicitudes incumbent on them O how glorious was their Death O the amiable Sufferings that brought them to it What are my little Sufferings in comparison of these What a shame is it for me to feel so much repugnance to endure them Alas I consider that there 's not a day in the year wherein the Church does not make particular Commemoration of many Martyrs who have had the zeal and courage to give up their Lives for Jesus Christ who died for them that they might Honour his Sufferings by the Torments they endured for his sake Some have been expos'd to be devour'd by Beasts others broke upon the Wheel others burned Alive others nailed to Crosses and all have been Miraculous by embracing with joy and cheerfulness the cruellest of Deaths that most barbarous Tyrants could invent to make them miserable O good Jesus I see all these go by the way of the Cross to come to the Perfection of Divine Love and I stay behind as one abandon'd and unworthy to suffer for you What can I then do O blessed Saviour For you have said That he who will not take up his Cross to follow you is not worthy to be your Disciple O Love Crucifie me Burn me Martyr me Si non per Martyrium carnis saltem per incendium cordis If not by Sacrificing my Body yet by Sacrificing my Heart And let my affectionate desire to suffer make my Life and
this Interiour Poverty and Dereliction finds that she has a call to Interiour Sufferings she ought not to seek after sensible things to raise her to God but couragiously bear this Interiour Cross as long as it pleases her Divine Bridegroom to continue her Tryal This state is bitter indeed but withall purifying and makes a Soul capable of more intimate union with God CHAP. X. Of the Sacred Darkness of Prayer ON St. Mary Magdalen's day it seem'd to me that my Prayer chang'd and became more simple more strong and elevated My Spirit went on knowing God not by Lights or Gusts of Devotion but by a certain Darkness wherewith God is surrounded as with a Cloud This Darkness made me see that God cannot be known but is Infinitely above our understanding which cannot better know him then by acknowledging we cannot know him as he is At other times Gusts and Lights were instrumental to unite me to God but now this Darkness only was my Guide and my Soul finding her self lost in a profound Ignorance of God yet seem'd to me to know him better than ever and I had no difficulty to Contemplate God in this manner which leaving in me deep impressions of the Divinity did also augment my Interiour dispositions of the Love of God hatred of sin and such like matters It seem'd to me that at this time my Prayer became more continual And I was much encourag'd with that saying of St. Denis That this ignorance is the best and highest knowledge we have here of God I therefore readily made my Addresses to God in the aforesaid manner understanding well that the knowledge we have of God by this way is greater than that we learn by discourse or Lights or Gusts in Prayer To know we cannot know God is to know him as much as he can be known in this Life his Grandeurs being Infinitely above our Understanding And that our Understanding may live wholly to God it must die to whatsoever is not God whom we see by naked Faith in a Luminous obscurity By this way God is more known and lov'd than by many Lights and Affections all which are lost in the obscurity of this Sacred Darkness which makes a Soul see that the Perfections of God are incomprehensible Many good effects arise from hence As a profound Joy and Peace of Conscience a firmness in our good Resolutions and practice of Virtues a great love of Self-denyal in imitation of the unspeakable Humiliations of Jesus Christ One of the surest marks to know whether this Prayer of Darkness comes from God is to see whether it leave in the Soul the knowledge of our Miseries and Infidelities For the more we possess God the better we see the least Imperfections As for example whether our intention be pure or Nature has some Interest with Grace Whether we too easily leave the presence of God for other things Whether we comply with Gods Inspirations or commit Infidelities These and such like being clearly seen by this means do much humble us and make us careful to amend them The Soul in this disposition knows nothing of God but that he is Incomprehensible and looses her self in this Darkness that surrounds his Grandeurs This view with a view sees nothing distinctly of God in particalar but is a knowing Ignorance of what God is in himself For though the excessive Glory of this Divine Sun makes his Light inaccessable to our weak eyes yet this Darkness pierces our Interiour and we know God in a transcendent manner by strong impressions of the Divinity and are rais'd to a most intimate union with him God requires of a Soul great Purity in this state This then is an excellent manner to take up our Thoughts with God in our Addresses to him by annihilating all our Lights and Knowledge to get into this Sacred Darkness that surrounds his Glory that being thus dead to our own Abilities we may confess that God is as much above our Understanding as he is amiable above our Affections Thus to know God and confess he is above our Understanding and to love God and acknowledge we cannot Love him according to his Perfections is to live dead to our Selves and our Abilities and such God Loves best and knows with Approbation CHAP. XI Of the Lights of Prayer GOd sometimes in Prayer discovers himself to a Soul as the Sun filling her with Light by which and in which he is known and all other things she stands in need of or which the Omniscient is pleas'd to manifest to her We see well enough this Light by which we know God but God himself is inaccessable As we behold the Light of the Natural Sun and not the Body thereof which blinds our Eyes and by the benefit of its Beams the things of this World are made visible to us One born Blind imagins that if he could see the Light he might see the Sun But he would find by experience that this Light would only serve to make him clearly see that he cannot behold the Sun by reason of its excessive Brightness In the same manner when we are in Interiour Darkness we think we can know God better in the Light and when this Light comes it only serves to let us see that God cannot be known by us in Mortal Bodies When in Prayer I have a view of God or some of his Perfections of Jesus or some of his Dispositions or Maxims it seems to me that all these Objects have a particular Light in them which serves much to discover their excellency to the Soul But it seems to me that these Verities namely We must slee from Evil and do Good hate Sin and embrace Virtue and such like as considered barely in themselves have no particular Light in them to manifest their Goodness But their Beauty and Excellency are discover'd to us by help of the Light of Faith As those Bodies which are out of the Sun see not themselves but by the Light thereof For this reason I believe 't is best for a Soul to take up her Thoughts with God and those Verities that regard him or with Jesus and Christian Truths as resident in this Sacred Breast By this means the Heart and Affections will be much inflam'd with the Love of God to adore and serve him and imitate the Perfections of Jesus Christ This sort of Prayer is simple and does not put the Soul to the labour of much Discourse For any Divine Perfection and the Exteriour effects thereof are seen by her at once by a singular act of the understanding As she may consider the Omnipotency by its self or together with the Creation of the World she may behold and adore the Divine Providence by it self together with its admirable effects in the Government of the Universe The Soul herein needs not multiply Discourses but may behold all this at one prospect When we meditate on any Christian Verity as for example the Excellency of Poverty without the Relation it
me forthwith to set upon the practice of this life hidden crucified despised which you have taught us by your example that I may truly say with St. Paul Absit mihi gloriari nisi in cruce Domini nostri Your Cross dear Jesus is my Glory and I will glory in nothing else Honours Pleasures Riches I declare my mortal enemies seeing your property is to incline me perpetually to deviate from those ways to which Jesus calls me I abhor you as enemies of my Perfection Ah dear Saviour make me partaker of your life humble poor despised or let me live no longer in this life of mortality When Heaven shall be my Habitation I shall be content to be in Glory because there you are also in Tryumph but seeing that on Earth you would not be but in an abject condition I desire there to be with you also Alas I march but slowly to arrive at Perfection however in reality I would fain be wholly humbled both interiourly and exteriourly as your Divine wisdom sees best for me If it was your will I would search after external humiliations for I find no better food for a Christian Soul Perhaps they will prove hard of digestion to me yet for all that they may become by use profitable and delicious O dear Saviour seeing it is said of you by the Evangelical Prophet Saturabitur opprobriis Give me my fill of opprobies and abjections Ravish with your sweetness and consolations those who know well how to use such favours As for me let my repast be with Gall and Vinegar because by their relish I shall be rendred more like unto you O Jesus why was you circumcised O Mary why was you purified Your hearts were not sullied and yet you submit your selves to the abjections of sinners because to be despised was the object of your most tender affections There were never two hearts more full of the love of God and never more inflamed desires after humiliations Seeing then that one is the measure of the other if we will testifie that we love God we must also love to suffer for him How unjust are our complaints against those who undervalue us and how unreasonably are we disquieted when we are scorn'd by others We ought rather to be troubled because we are not despised enough and thus it would be with us if we had a heart entirely Christian 'T is true Grace can only infuse such inclinations into our Souls Nature eggs us on to the contrary And 't is my unhappiness that I who write this shall I fear fall short hereof in time of trial For I am altogether frail and good for nothing and for ought I know what I have said or done which appears so beautiful may be rotten within witness my often relapses which sufficiently tell me what a poor abject Creature I am and how much I deserve to be despised CHAP. II. The foundation of true Christian Humility WHen I consider that God is all in all that he possesses in himself incomprehensible perfections that he has created and provided for us infinite good things I cannot but acknowledge that all Honour all Glory all Praise all Adoration is due unto him O how just a debt is all this from us to the Divine Majesty When I consider O God that I am a pure Nothing that I have in my self an inexhaustible Mine of imperfections and miseries that I have committed great offences and am yet liable to more unless prevented by Grace I acknowledge that I deserve to be the scorn of men all sorts of opprobries and disgraces all maladies of Soul and Body Darkness punishments Temporal and Eternal to be afflicted mocked persecuted by all creatures as Executioners of Divine Justice And I look upon my self as the Mark whereat should be aimed these Arrows of deserved indignation God can never be sufficiently honoured loved exalted glorified and I can never be enough debased hated despised and persecuted I ought to have not only this humility of Spirit but likewise a will and affection to suffer for God always esteeming my self worthy of all scorn and contempt though never so publick if it may conduce to God's glory and the good of others For if I be honour'd as my condition requires if I do not debase my self below the meanest Vassals 't is because the Order of government forbids it and would not be expedient for those who might abuse this condescension However as for me I ought to have this will and inclination and believe 't is the place is due unto me Alas dear Saviour I cannot be acceptable in your sight unless I have an humble heart and this I cannot have but by your grace For if all natural good proceeds from your bounty much more must all supernatural grace flow from the pure Fountain of your Mercy and if you are the Giver of all grace doubtless principally of true humility which is so repugnant to nature that there 's nothing she more abhors than Humiliation Seeing dear Saviour all good proceeds from you the glory thereof ought solely to be rendred to you I ought to take no complacence but in you rejoycing in that you glorifie your self enriching my poverty with your abundance When I see persons afflicted poor distressed lame deformed I confess dear Saviour these humiliations are my due and if you should inflict any of them on me I would adore and love your Justice and for what you have bestowed upon me I adore and love your mercy I will never complain because no Creature can do me an injury I ought not to look on the designs of men whose intentions oftentimes are only to hurt to revenge and solace themselves with others miseries but to have an eye to the purposes of God which are to chastise me to better me and to humble me The Jews put Jesus Christ to death out of revenge and envy and God the Father had a design thereby to save Mankind I will not hereafter hunt after Applause and Honour for I am resolved not to follow the inclination of depraved Nature but following the example of Jesus Christ who suffered for me I will desire poverty contempts pains and uniting them to his sufferings I will earnestly beseech him according to the multitude of his mercies to have pity on me If we would once seriously endeavour to know our selves the beams of Divine Grace would make wonderful discoveries in our Souls without which 't is impossible for us to see the depth of our miseries In this Dungeon lies a prolifical Seed of Treason ready on all occasions to conceive and bring forth all sorts of iniquity O that 't is not sufficient to be without the black tincture of actual sin We have the source thereof within us and certain vitious inclinations deeply rooted even as we find some Weeds in Gardens so fixed that their roots seem to reach the very centre which will never hardly be entirely pluck'd up but daily they appear a-new and keep us in
that you withdraw from me your Divine Illuminations in Prayer and Recollection so as to be in a manner void of understanding sicut equus malus quibus non est intellectus Provided dear Jesus that I be but content with these humiliations it is sufficient I shall be happy Let others ask of you what they please as for me my desire is to be entirely annihilated and that my portion may be to honour your Divine humiliations We are not couragious enough to fight as we ought to destroy in us our sensual inclinations for we are too feeble against our selves and too indulgent to our defects in this spiritual combat But O my God put too your helping hand and work in us your will that we may be humbled and contentedly submit to your operation CHAP. VIII That the Soul is Rich when she possesses the love of self-contempt GOD has infus'd this thought into my Soul that the love of self-contempt and the desire of humiliation may be that hidden Treasure mention'd in the Gospel Thesauro abscondita in agro Matt. 13. 'T is really a great Treasure to love abjection yea a Treasure that contains abundance of inestimable Riches but they appear not outwardly being hid on purpose to preserve with more security And he only has this Treasure who keeps well hidden what he possesses 'T is a Treasure hidden and unknown to the world For who would imagine that there should be any thing so rich and precious in Sufferings and Humiliations Should our senses or carnal prudence or human reason make enquiry would they search here to enrich themselves and satisfie their desires We could never have thought that a hidden Treasure was here enshrin'd if Jesus Christ who put it there himself had not reveal'd this great secret to our Souls by his peculiar favour and merciful illuminations If we will have this Treasure we must buy it and give for it whatever we possess that is to say we must lay down our whole Patrimony the fatal Inheritance left us by our first Parents namely affection for Honours for Pleasures for Riches too much seeking our selves and our own interests the love of our own excellence and all the other wretched movables which we possess by being conceived in sin and brought forth in iniquity If we will not be content to part with all yea the utmost farthing we cannot be enriched with this Treasure O how rich and happy is he who does possess it For it is a Treasure which as the world cannog give so it cannot take it from us and as long as we are in quiet possession thereof we find God in our Souls and such a profound peace as passeth all human understanding When one has purchas'd a good Estate in Land we are ready to say He is in a good condition what need he fear now having a sure foundation of subsistence If a War happen the Enemies can't carry that away with them they may indeed deprive him of his Money and Goods but for his Land that is fix'd and immovable 'T is the same case with this precious Treasure when once the Soul hath it in possession and will not part with it she need not fear she has sure hold of subsistence for her spiritual life Neither the World nor the Devil nor all the Enemies of our Salvation let them make never such furious on-sets can rob her of it it surpasses their power and belongs not to them 'T is true they may deprive her of some moveables as sensible consolations the love of austerities the desire to undertake brave actions for the Glory of God as to go to Canada or England for the conversion of Souls to the Catholick Faith in a word all the fair Idaea's of Spirituality The Devil the World Nature has a mind to these movables and a Soul that possesses only these has nothing but what may be taken from her but whosoever possesses this Treasure of the love of abjection and self-denial is rich for ever And when God is pleased to discover to a Soul the value thereof Prae gaudio illius vadit vendit universa quae habet emit agrum illum she joyfully parts with all she has to get it in possession We have a double right to pretend to the possession of this Divine Treasure The first is our natural inability to good the second is our criminal sinfulness These two lay upon us a continual obligation to endeavour after self-denial and annihilation and this endeavour is very pleasing to God who delights to see a Creature acknowledge what is due to it self and render to him his deserved Glory The Son of God began as a Gyant to run in this way of self-contempt by his Incarnation for 't is a wonderful humiliation for God to become Man and he finished this course by his Death on the Cross which was as low as humility could descend For God-Man to die an infamous death between two Thieves as a Malefactor and his whole life besides was but as one continued humiliation and yet alas we pass away our days in vanity calling our selves Christians tho' all for exaltation of our selves destitute of self-denial and true humility O wonderful blindness O Jesus poor and abject when will you draw me after you by the powerful attracts of your mercy Your ways are pure and pleasant and odoriferous to those whose Souls are enlightened with the Rays of Grace You O Jesus establish your Empire in humble hearts and reign there in peace as the Devil sets up his Kingdom in proud Souls and there domineers with intolerable Tyranny CHAP. V. What profit we draw from humiliations PAins and Miseries humble the body Poverty Riches Contempt Reputation and Honour Death Life aridities in Prayer spiritual Consolations all these conduce to purifie Virtue and sacrifice man wholly to God Some glorifie him by action some by suffering others by privations and humiliations and these last are the greatest Saints though here despis'd and known to God alone We ought to resign our selves to the conduct of God's spirit but if it was left to our own choice the way of abjections is best and safest Job did more glorifie God on the Dunghil than in his Palace Happy is he who in glorifying God follows the call of his holy inspirations in a way which the world neither does nor can well understand 'T is a great misery not to be willing to acknowledge that human wisdom is but folly before God which continually eggs us on to get out of the happy state of abjection upon the fairest pretences imaginable as the salvation of souls to help our Neighbours and the like Notwithstanding 't is safest to yield our selves up to the sole conduct of God's holy Spirit the order of whose providence we cannot shun God glorifies himself in Heaven by the exaltation of his Creatures on Earth by their Humiliation Let no person complain then that he cannot be instrumental to the glory of God for
is the degree of perfection O my God! how hard a thing is it for us not to seek our selves and not at all to pretend to esteem and excellence The desire we have thereof is as intime to us as the marrow of our bones and in a manner in all our actions whether for our selves or our Neighbours we seek more or less our own excellence The greatest Saints have had little esteem of their own Talents in their own eyes when they have been obliged to make them glorious in the sight of others And unless they did cause them to appear for the good of others they did tend to humiliation plunging themselves in their own Nothing to bring down thereby all Pride of heart CHAP. XI That we ought to leave our selves wholly to God to become annihilated IF we put our selves into the hands of Jesus Christ he will treat us as his Father treated him for Divine Love has severity as well as Divine Justice Happy is that Soul which all on fire with Divine Love is not content nor satisfied till she has so wholly sacrifie'd her self to God that the love of the Creature is burn'd to nothing This Love is a Sun full of fire and light which by little and little draws up the vapours from the Earth that is the Creatures and drinks them up I have a business in hand which puts me to hard labour namely to mortifie my self in spirit and affection to all Creatures if I can bring it about I shall be happy All that I have done hitherto is but a preparation to take up my Cross and entirely to follow Christ in his humiliations I see him born in a poor abject manner in the eyes of men and thus like a Gyant he begins the course of his abjections Why do we delay to follow him by annihilation poverty and self-contempt Let 's never leave him whatsoever we suffer For my part I have made a solemn protestation that I will follow him so close by being crucified to the world that every moment of my life I shall be able to say 'T is not I that live but Jesus crucified who lives in me Let us not wonder at the proceedings of Jesus Christ who preaches to us nothing but death and annihilation the Cross and abnegation 'T is because our Soul infected with sin wherein we are conceived is so strongly corrupted that all her operations are impure Jesus Christ is come by his grace to cleanse this impurity which is so deeply fixed and in grain that except we resolutely correspond to the workings of grace in us we shall still remain in our imperfections which grace tends to bring us to self-contempt and annihilation Having this day received my Saviour in the blessed Sacrament I kept my self as it were wholly annihilated while he continued in me and permitted him to in me and for me what he pleased both in relation to his Father and my poor Soul and those persons for whom I had interceded in the dreadful Sacrifice It seems to me I ought not to mingle the operations of an impure Creature with those of Jesus O that Jesus would alone work in me what is my duty I ought to plunge my self in my own Nothing in his presence If I must love God Jesus will work this in me if I must pray Jesus will be my Advocate if I must glorifie his Father he will glorifie him and I will sweetly consent to all his operations O Jesus be you All that I may be Nothing work your will in me I will remain in my Nothing to let you work all in me without resistance Many good Souls honour the abjections of Jesus Christ but few will practice them or imitate his poverty and humiliations Shall we think that it did not beseem you to be so debased and thus to suffer O Jesus is not this to make no account of your example and condemn you of Folly who are the Wisdom of the Father 'T is a great folly to be thus censorious and certainly the more we participate of your poverty and humiliations the more we participate of your wisdom Come then O my Soul let us follow Jesus poor and abject and live poor with him and thereby testifie our love to him and our fidelity CHAP. XII That we must renounce our sense and human reason to love humiliations THe impediments that our sensitive part brings to perfection are easie to be discovered but the interpositions of human reason are nice and delicate and few discover them They are hard to conquer and many cannot be persuaded of their badness for reason is ingenious to seduce by a thousand fair pretences which we dare hardly condemn appearing so reasonable but the example of Jesus Christ is above all reason and human prudence What reason was there that the Roman Emperours should live in tryumphs that cruel Herods should shine with Honours and melt in Pleasures that the hard-hearted Jews should enjoy all worldly contents and abundance and in the interim the Son of God should be born in a Stable should fly by night into Aegypt live a poor life in a shop with a Carpenter overwhelm'd with pains and disgraces However these are the proceedings of the eternal Father to confound thereby our human prudence and teach us to renounce our selves if we will be good followers of Jesus Christ As long as we give more ear to the persuasions of human reason than to the light of Faith we shall never make any great progress in Piety If one be in a poor and abject condition human prudence is for Advancement and Riches when any occasion presents it self If one be born to Honours and Possessions reason says Leave them not to become poor and abject How can we draw our selves out of Nature to imitate Divine Jesus if we will always follow the Maxims of men We are very busie to live in the world according to our condition but we do not remember sufficiently that our chiefest care ought to be to live the life of Jesus Christ and let all other obligations give place unto it Jesus Christ executing the eternal purposes of his Father in a poor despised painful life did infinitely glorifie him thereby Before the Incarnation God was not infinitely lov'd and glorified out of himself but only in himself inasmuch as the humiliations of one that is God brings an infinite glory to God which before he had not A Christian Soul likewise executing the divine Will of the eternal Father by following his Son in a life of humiliations and self-contempt does glorifie him with sovereign Honour For 't was decreed from all Eternity that the Members should live the life of the Head Quos praedestinavit conformes fieri and first suffer with him that they may at last with him be glorified All human reason must yield to this divine determination O Jesus how strange are the foundations of that perfection to which you call us They are nothing but Deaths Renunciations
by this fault I may see my Nothing my weakness my inclinations to evil more clearly than formerly I was miserable and I did not know it I was frailty it self and I did not perceive it but 〈…〉 acknowledge my vileness tho' I cannot 〈◊〉 â—athom the depth thereof 〈…〉 I am well-pleas'd that this fault happen'd 〈◊〉 presence of my Friends who will thereâ—â—â—◠〈◊〉 â—ow what I am It much displeases me to 〈◊〉 offended God by being so faithless to his â—â—â—ces but I joy in this that I am well-pleas'd â—â—th my humiliation 'T is a good hap to be deâ—â—â—sed in the esteem of others and does relish â—weet to such who desire to repair the injury â—hey have done to God by sinning against him To be powerfully convinced of our pure Nothing and great Frailty is the profit we ought to make of our imperfections How profitable is the discovery of my misery to me seeing it makes clear unto me all these verities This is the truth of it I am nothing but infirmity and corruption and more than I can comprehend And for the love I ought to have for Truth by a voluntary acquiescence I love and adore Divine Providence which has brought me to the sight of my own Nothing I acknowledge my self to be miserable and am pleas'd the world should know it and use me according to this verity 'T is true also that we ought not to complain of whatsoever injury is done us by word or deed for 't is always less than we deserve 'T is the Law of Christianity and a great truth that we ought to love abjection Jesus having loved it by his Father's order and he is the grand exemplar we must imitate 'T is true also that after our failings we ought to comfort our selves with the love of abjection and make use of our infirmity to please 〈◊〉 Just as when a Ship is broken by a Temâ—â—â— we get some shatter'd Plank to save us 〈◊〉 perishing 'T is true also that since this lapse I perceâ—â—â— better than ever the Bounty the Power anâ— Mercy of God towards me and all the Divine Perfections appear unto me beaming forth more splendors of Glory Just as the Moon never makes more evident the dependance she has upon the Sun than in Eclipses 'T is true also that a Soul sensible of her infirmities is content with her Talent without disquieting her self to attain the perfections of great Saints whereoâ— she acknowledges her self unworthy And if God be pleased to communicate unto her great Graces she will not grow proud as well knowing her own weakness but rejoyce in this that God thereby may be more honour'd 'T is true also that being convinced of her own unworthiness she has no confidence in her self but in God alone to whom entirely she gives up her self to deal with her as he pleases in Mercy or Justice She wonders not to see her self left and abandon'd to sin because she knows she deserves no better and then blesses the Divine Mercy for not dealing with her according to her Merits 'T is true also that a Soul grieving to have displeas'd God would be content to be really reduc'd to her first Nothing iâ— such was the Divine pleasure For though she knows being so brought to Nothing she cannot be capable to please God or enjoy him notwithstanding such is the love she has for the Divine Will that she would have that done though she perish To acknowledge and be content with our own baseness is one of the greatest mercies God can do for a Soul For hereby she draws Salvation from Perdition as God knows how to advance his Glory by our sins A Soul thus enlightned is content to be set on the Dunghil of her miseries surrounded with humiliations for her faults as Job was with afflictions and beholding her self as it were the Queen of Infirmities and Abjections she 's pleas'd therewith seeing she may thereby honour and magnifie the Divine Goodness If a Soul be miserable by falling into sin she is rich in possessing the Treasure of humiliation after her failings But this is a truth hidden to most men who do not discover this advanrage They are poor and yet have a Treasure in their Field which they may have for digging Jesus poor and abject for love of me leave me not to my self lift up my Soul after her fall and gâ—ve her some of that Cordial Water which is call'd the love of Abjection that chases away the vain vapours of self-love by which the Soul is darken'd and loses courage Glorifie your power in my infirmities be pleas'd to condescend so far as to receive me returning into the arms of your Mercy and grant I may die unto my self that I may live in your Embraces Methinks dear Jesus I already feel your tenderness unto me your divine love vouchsafes me a relish of the sweets of Paradice my eyes are bath'd in tears of contentment my heart is dilated and love does firmly unite me to you Wherefore do you vouchsafe the kiss of Peace so soon to such a Wretch as I am Why do you not leave me in bitterness of Soul and trouble of Spirit as a just chastisement for my sins Your Mercy will not so deal with me but by wonderful preventions of love in the midst of my infirmities you redouble your favours and consolations O that I was all love to serve you wholly by way of gratitude I would have all the world to see my Infidelities to the end your mercy may shine more glorious I know that the sight of my sin had so frozen my heart as in a manner to make me liveless but O my Jesus you have provided an excellent remedy seeing the flames of divine love have set me all on fire to do your will 'T is a great favour to be in this temper of Soul but dear Jesus stay not here visit my heart again with the feelings of your humiliations that your inscrutable abjections may be its centre and render it in some sort conformable to yours and do this miracle of your Grace that this faithless heart may become a divine heart by the infinite merit of your most precious Blood CHAP. XVII Considerations upon the vileness of this corruptible body HOw is a Soul pleased to know that her body must return to dust This humiliation is the object of her complacency When the illustrations of a Divine Light clear up the understanding then she knows that perfection consists in a tendence to humiliation wherein she meets with the exaltation of God by the admirable contrivance of the Divine Wisdom O dust and ashes you may be terrible to worldly Souls but I am sure you bring joy to those who walking by the light of Faith and conduct of Grace love dearly the interests of God and life eternal The loss of worldly Interests Honour Contentment is painful to Nature too much attached to her self but a Soul elevated by Grace rejoyces at the loss of her own
interests to advance God's glory A Soul ought to be well-pleas'd that her body shall be crumbled to dust and as it were reduced to nothing to exalt the Glory of God and glorifie his Justice A holy person much wondred how the Saints who are powerful with God kept their bodies so long entire not obtaining that they might be humbled by putrefaction because they knowing the inestimable value of humiliation which most glorifies God ought as it seems to have procur'd it to their bodies But if God think best to glorifie himself by preserving them from corruption his Divine Will is and must be the Rule of their desires Sometimes I have desired death as amiable because it would give me free access to enjoy God but at present I have the spirit of annihilation This annihilation is a state above that of death and by it we offer a perfect Sacrifice A Soul which seeks the Glory of God desires death to enter into this perfect annihilation What is most horrible in Death paleness deformity noisomness putrefaction pleases her best for these are companions of a perfect annihilation to humble her as much as possible O death how lovely art thou to such a Soul 'T is a strange thing that the fire of Divine Love burns no brighter in our hearts upon the frequenting of the Sacraments Oftentimes we exercise our selves twice a day in mental Prayer sometimes by holy Conferences daily Lectures and Considerations Now I think the cause of this is that we are sad dejected with abjections which so chills the heart that the fire of Divine Love is stifled thereby but when once humiliation is a joy unto us the heart presently becomes enflamed My Soul having a great degust of this life feels a wonderful desire of death she never was more sensible than now of her Captivity and Prison in this mortal body She sighs after the liberty to see God and enjoy him without any disturbance whatsoever for all created things do divert this happy exercise in which consists her felicity Being a Prisoner in this Body she is yet in darkness and distractions by eating sleeping several affairs and accidents O how is she crucified in being deprived of the full Embraces of her Beloved Quis me liberabit de corpore mortis hujus This made St. Paul earnestly desire to be freed from the Prison of this mortal body I admire the happiness of those who die in our Lord and do wonder at the blindness of of such who passionately desire this present life and are taken up so much with the care of the Body Goods Employments which are so many impediments of our converse with God and Christian Perfection O how importunate is sensuality with us and yet how contemptible is every thing that is not God! We ought not to be discomforted at the loss of temporal things because thereby some chains of our Captivity are broken Much less ought we to be troubl'd to see our Body the Prison of our Soul to weaken by degrees and threaten death Take courage we shall soon see our desires accomplish'd and shortly we shall enjoy God in full possession This state of desires and languishings after God is a state whereby we honour him as our final happiness and being so he deserves by reason of his excellence that we should continually sigh after him Such as have no love for their final end make no matter of it and give too much evidence that they find their repose in something else which is a most dreadful disorder But considering our happiness by death methinks I see nothing more lovely than crosses and abjections which can only refresh a Soul panting after the full possession of God and sometimes so content with it that she forgets the pain of her banishment seeing her self in a state wherein she may glorifie God in so transcendent in a manner which is what she chiefly desires aspiring to enjoyment without having regard to her proper satisfaction CHAP. XVIII Considerations upon the natural inclinations we have to evil A Stone held in the Air if let go falls naturally to the ground by its own weight and 't is no more matter of wonder when we fall into imperfections If God leave us to our selves we are presently in our own nothing weakness and infirmity And if the Grace of God was not very great unto us we should fall more often They may be thought valiant who bear up stoutly against the blast of strong temptations Alas take us at the best we are as frail as Glasses on a Cupboard If some are sooner broken 't is because they are more used and found in the hand of an ill manager Those that stand still on the Cupboard if they had reason would not brag of their strength but only acknowledg that they have not been tryed by occasions When the Grace of God keeps us from falling we ought not to take complacence therein as if we were better than others by reason of such Divine Favours but our content ought to be in the good pleasure of God who is so munificent to his Creatures yea the most unworthy To be thus pleas'd only with God's will is also very necessary when it is God's pleasure to leave a Soul to combat with some singular imperfection a long time without victory For it being the will of God to leave a Soul thus to fight it out she ought to be as well content as if she was more elevated by Grace seeing in this state she meets with the Divine pleasure which is the object of her complacency Insomuch that the Soul has no more inclination for one Grace than another but indifferent to all being content to have her faults made known to glorifie God by the love of abjection Secret faults do us the greatest hurt when manifested if we make good use of it they may bring no small advantage to us I have at present a wonderful distast of this Life which is hardly a Life but a continual Death because it deprives us of knowledg and and love in perfection O how this mortal life is a great punishment and full of Crosses Here we sin here we forget God and run a hazard to lose him eternally Love here finds little nourishment being fed with slender knowledg sometimes much clouded and continual propensions to evil Dear Saviour when will you deliver me from the body of this death This was the desire of St. Paul which I take the courage to make being so much out of love with this miserable life The End of the first BOOK BOOK II. Of the Supernatural Life which is the Life of all true Christians CHAP. I. The Idaea or description of the Supernatural Life WE can never attain Perfection by the sole conduct of human reason which is the light of Philosophers Faith is the light of Christians which teacheth us to renounce the ratiocinations of carnal prudence to follow in simplicity a Jesus Crucified To observe the Commandments of God as
hath espoused the folly of the Cross and 't is his will I shall do so likewise and shall not I do his will O my God! I am content to be depriv'd of what the world loves and desires leave but me the folly of the Cross I shall be rich enough O amiable folly he who knows thee cannot but love thee What a fool have I been to embrace thee no sooner Behold my Soul thou art engaged and this engagement makes thee fearful Quare tristis es anima mea quare conturbas me But why O my Soul art thou disquieted 'T is true for the future thou must suffer injuries affronts pains of body troubles of mind be content with annihilations and abjections be pleas'd with disgraces be the play-game of Worldlings and esteemed as a Fool yea to be ill spoken of by some Devotes Thou must not be cast down with ill successes whether thou be in fault or no Thou must drink deep of the Cup of humiliations see others exalted and love to be humbled yea though by spiritual Desolations Take courage O my Soul we can do all things through Christ strengthening us I confess the greatness of my engagement would have quite cast me down being sensible of my own wonderful weakness if I had not been supported by the infinite mercy and goodness of God Wherefore I must love the Cross which I have espoused for ever I shall find my self well enough in this alliance if I do but continue faithful for the more I converse with it I shall the more discover its Beauty my fears will vanish my passions will be appeas'd and being in peace my Soul will be enlarged and melt in love towards this Spouse which tho' black is wonderful comely If I love the Cross it must needs be an effect of pure Grace my own frailties bearing witness but at present I find my self in great disposition of love O how weak is my Soul when left to her self O how strong is she when supported by Grace O my Jesus 't is your love and your example that makes me love the sacred folly of the Cross which you have so dearly loved as to die in its embraces When I consider a God crucified methinks I discover certain rays of Beauty which make the horror of Mount Calvary seem wonderful amiable and I can hardly be satisfied with looking on this lovely object and say O my Jesus how delightful is it to see the beauty of a God dying for men This beauty indeed is not in his sacred visage for that was all disfigured with blood and buffettings but in that God was pleased to die on the Cross for men and the eternal Father took complacence in this beauty I cannot explicate what is this beauty unless by the effect it produces in me for verily my Soul sees nothing besides this to captivate my sight Jesus only in his humiliations and sufferings on the Cross commands my eyes and my heart When I consider the other states of the life of Jesus his Incarnation Nativity Solitude Conversation and the like I find in them a beauty invites me to behold them with delight because I discover certain irradiations to beam from the obscurities and humiliations of these states which are very ravishing I often say with my self How lovely is the abjection of this state How is the poverty of that admirable And in all I perceive the beauties of a sacred Folly which the infinite Wisdom would make use of to confound the false Maxims of worldly Prudence O what a favour have you in mercy done for me O my God to discover to me the beauty of this Divine Folly which to worldly men seems nothing but deformity But what abundance of Grace do you vouchsafe me by enabling me to make so strict an alliance with it I have espous'd it I will live with it I will die with it and nothing shall ever divorce me from it CHAP. V. How we ought to conform our Interiour to that of Jesus Christ. OUr Interiour ought to be conformable to that of Jesus Christ that as his Members we may be governed and animated by his Spirit that having part of his Grace as Christians part of his light from his Doctrine part of his inclinations to put us upon practice we may be so transformed into Jesus as to have a perfect union with him And this is that wherein lies the excellency of a Christian this is that which makes Christians indeed and to do and suffer as becomes Christians 'T is a strange thing to see what little knowledge we have of the Christian life Some who have left Nature to follow Grace suppose it consists in doing much for God and for the good of our Neighbour by preaching instructing giving Alms and such-like charitable exercises This is good indeed but we must form the Interiour Christian and then we shall do best for others what God calls us to undertake The Interiour consists in Illustrations inward Teachings Sentiments and affections of the Soul If those be high and elevated the Interiour is so likewise But the Soul of Jesus had the most elevated illustrations possible of the excellency of Self-denial Poverty Pains Abjections and the Cross and from thence a singular love and esteem for them These irradiations and affections were infus'd into his most beautiful Soul the first moment of his Incarnation and continued to his last breath on the Cross The eternal Father who by this New Adam would repair his Glory which was obscur'd by Old Adam's fall amongst the infinity of means which lay treasur'd up in the bosom of his Omniscience and Omnipotency chose this of the Cross which his Son made Flesh embraced cherished loved and put in execution all his life-time esteeming Contempts Crosses Sufferings as things great and excellent preferring the interest of the Glory of his Father before the satisfactions of his sacred Humanity which had a natural repugnance to them By how much the more then that a Soul is partaker of the Divine Spirit and Interiour of the Son of God by so much the more she esteems and loves the Cross and consequently does more glorifie God the Father For to suffer is to make a continual Sacrifice of our Pleasures and Interests uniting our selves to the design the Son of God had by suffering to repair the Glory of his Father Wherefore when a Soul ceases to value and love the Cross and Humiliations she is no more conform to the Soul of Jesus and so does not glorifie God the Father in a high manner but when she feels in her self a high esteem and love of the Cross she highly glorifies the eternal Father who takes great delight in her in that she resembles his well-beloved Son When a Soul is enlightned with these irradiations she sees her Glory is to be despised because her Glory is to procure the Glory of God which she does most by humiliations She finds her delight to be in suffering because her
delight is to honour the eternal Father which is best effected by this means A faithful Soul will never part with an esteem and love of the Cross as to the Interiour because her desire is to please God and we best please him by humiliations Let us well ground our selves in this exercise of the designs of God who would have us conformable to his Son and consequently to have a love for sufferings and abjections Whatever disposes us to this conformity ought to be precious to us as few natural Talents Sickness ill successes and the like The Spirit of the World and Nature find therein their punishment but the Spirit of Jesus Christ takes pleasure therein and so advances a faithful Soul to Perfection We are not yet spiritualiz'd if we be not faithful to the love of sufferings and abjections And we are not faithful herein if we are not content with those things that humble us and cause abjection A right prospect of abjection and sufferings is supernatural and delicate and requires time to bring it to perfection and must be first tried in our selves before we extend it to others As for my particular when I see a person in great misery and poverty I am not much troubled at it because I consider the real good that Soul may procure to her self by this abjection On the contrary I am in fear for those who are advanced to Honours and have great natural abilities for the difficulty they must needs find to curb the Spirit of Nature and the World and bring them off from the love of these things which are so powerful in them and hinder in them the love of Jesus Christ Let us therefore remember that the purity of Virtue consists in a faithful tendance to abjection and suffering and by how much a Soul is more faithful herein the greater advancements she makes in Virtue Abjection being as the centre of the Soul the more she is humbled the nearer she draws to her repose and by consequence has a greater feeling of God in inward peace A Peace that the World nor Nature can ever give us a Peace that passeth all understanding CHAP. VI. The sublimity of the Christian Life NOthing but God made man poor annihilated sacrificed could honour God according to his greatness The designs of the eternal Father to this end are admirable full of Divine Wisdom of unspeakable Love and Mercy towards Man and most ardent Zeal for his own Glory O the wonderful oeconomy that discovers it self in all the mysteries of the Word Incarnate O the ineffable mystery of Jesus By you the eternal Father is loved glorified honour'd and his Justice satisfied to the utmost rigour In this mystery is contain'd an inexplicable Commerce and Trafique of God the Father with his Son the Interest of his Glory in the Salvation of mankind The will of the eternal Father was that his Son should be incarnate circumcised poor scorn'd and crucified and the Son of God in all these states of his life intended thereby to render to his Father all the humiliations respects love and adoration which were due unto him These are the annihilations which so much elevate and exalt the Christian Reliligion to these she owes her grandeur and excellence O amiable eminent and excellent Religion how unknown art thou to wordly men who tast no sweetness but in sensual pleasures O Christian Religion how art thou admirable how art thou ineffable whose chief business is to employ your Children with the Divine Trafique of the eternal Father with his Son Incarnate When thy Heavenly Lights shine upon a Soul she sees the deceit the vanity and pitiful baseness of the thoughts of those men who love not God nor aim at his Glory O my Soul how wretched wilt thou make thy self if thou follow thy sensual appetite and walk not in the ways of Jesus Christ But this we cannot do of our selves but by Grace and Power of the same Jesus who is our hope and only helper We ought to bear no less respect to the Maxims of a supernatural Life than to Jesus Christ who hath establish'd them seeing we ought to believe that they are full of Divine Wisdom and ineffable Sanctity To have no esteem for poverty contempt and humiliations is to undervalue the Wisdom of Jesus Christ Some are so brutish as to be led only by sensuality others follow only the light of Reason and human Prudence but neither of them know the excellency of Christianity but such only who are conducted by the light of Faith O Life supernatural how sublime art thou How dost thou so elevate a Soul as to become blind to things here below yea to her self and to see nothing but God in her by the rays of Grace Be pleased O Divine Spirit of Jesus to bestow upon us some part of this holy life which the world can neither receive nor know Quem mundus non potest accipere nec scit eum as St. John testifies The world cannot receive it being wholly taken up with Creatures nor can know it being blinded with sensuality What a malediction is this But what a happiness is it to know and embrace this supernatural life This was wrought in the hearts of the Apostles who return'd with joy to be found worthy to live this life that is to be whipt and despised for the name of Jesus Verily if there was nothing to suffer here I know not why we shou'd desire to live here We should endeavour to imitate that great Saint who suffer'd a greater Martyrdom among Roses and Suavities than by Racks and Tortures Worldly pleasures are a kind of torment to a Soul that loves Jesus Christ crucified Let us take a resolution O my Soul not to be pleased but with the Cross and when that does not relish let us please our selves with our own annihilation seeing the Creature is nothing in effect but what she is in the sight of God But she is no more in his eyes than inasmuch as she is a Christian and she is no more a Christian than inasmuch as she loves this supernatural life While then we are too sensible of a suffering condition we have no great share of the spirit of Christianity that is of the spirit of Jesus abject suffering and annihilated CHAP. VII There are divers degrees of this Supernatural Life GOD has been very gracious to us to draw us out of nothing but more gracious and merciful in withdrawing us from sin and the occasions of displeasing him But the choicest of his favours is to advance us from a common to a supernatural Life That is when the eternal Father does lead us into the states of the mortal life of Jesus by abjections sufferings and annihilations which is the choicest of his Mercies and Favours on Earth because thereby we bring to him the greatest Glory A Soul is not all at once elevated to the perfection of this life But as soon as she beholds the beauty thereof being
Behold whither a Soul is conducted whom many think good for nothing O how the judgments of men are different from the thoughts of God! Let then every one honour God by the way and life that is proper for them otherwise they will fall into perturbations of spirit and being disquieted will become troublesom to themselves and others But this is not the work of a day we shall find it a hard task to become dead to the world and our selves Every state is good yea the most abject All Grace is excellent yea the least and meanest There are many sorts of Graces which we perhaps do not much value and yet are really to be more esteemed than Visions Rapts or Revelations To labour and suffer for God is of greater worth than Extasies 'T is a truth well enough known by many though practis'd but by few that a little matter hinders the operation of God's grace in us One only small natural inclination unmortified suffices to retard our progress to perfection For this reason we must exactly die to all Creatures annihilate in us every motion that tends not to God some way or other As for example To give no refreshment to the body by meat drink or sleep c but for necessity We must also mortifie in us the desire of Honour and temporal Commodities yea love abjection pains and poverty willing nothing but what may conduce to advance God's glory I more value the union of a Soul with God in humiliations and sufferings than in consolations CHAP. XIII Some Maxims concerning a Supernatural Life O God! what a poor Christian am I in occasions of tryal I have imprinted in me some Idaea's and Sentiments of a supernatural Life but when it comes to put them in practice my timerous Nature shrinks and makes excuses to shun sufferings and then the occasion being over I have great regreat for not being couragious and come to know thereby my little Virtue and small Perfection I then see that the rule of Perfection is the conformity which we have with Jesus crucified poor and abject When that is great our Perfection is great also But that I find I have little or no affective conformity with Jesus crucified Behold here those lights and directions I have learnt by conference with a holy person and are good for my practice and solid establishment in a supernatural life 1. We must accustom our body to austerities exercising it with loving chastisements for our own transgressions and the sins of others 2. We can never attain to contemplation and a perfect love of the Divinity but by passing first by Jesus crucified poor and abject We see him poor and despised attended with few followers because we refuse to walk in those rough paths he hath set before us 3. We must have an ardent love for solitude and recollection to the end we may be wholly for God and correspond faithfully to the inspirations of his holy Spirit And although we ought to have a general indifferency to all states and calls of God yet 't is better to incline rather to retirement and solitude not meerly to enjoy the sweetness thereof but that we may not be wanting to co-operate with the Grace of God vouchsaf'd unto us Holy solitude is the region of Divine Communications Ducam eam in solitudinem loquar ad cor ejus saith God by the Prophet I will lead a Soul into solitude and speak interiourly to her heart 4. The reason why we see so few even devout Christians make progress in perfection is because they limit the Grace they have received hindring its enlargement by natural arguments and human prudence They say 'T is enough for me to do this or that I ought not to aspire to so high perfection those who live in the world cannot be so elevated in the ways of God These and such-like excuses they make which hinder the Grace of God from working fully what he intended If we did but consider the ardent desire that Jesus hath to advance Souls in the ways of Divine love and how ready he is to bestow on us new Graces upon our faithful corresponding with the former we would be both ravished and ashamed also to be so backward in giving our selves up to the conduct of God who desires nothing so much as that we may love him perfectly and enjoy him eternally But as while Jesus was on Earth 't is said of him That the world knew him not and his own received him not for seeing him born in a Stable circumcis'd as a sinner live poorly as a Carpenter persecuted accused condemned to die an infamous death on the Cross they wou'd not take him for the promised Messias so as yet he is not well known and many Christians themselves do not receive him nor let his Spirit and Maxims reign in their hearts Yea some who profess the way of perfection do not as they ought esteem and embrace his humiliations and abjections For we too much desire Honour and Preferment and too much fear abjection and suffering O my Soul what hast thou done hitherto not to have as yet begun this life crucified and annihilated I confess my folly and blindness O my God! make me presently to set upon it and let not any day pass over without the happiness of suffering something for your love CHAP. XIV What content a Soul receives in a Supernatural Life WE have oftentimes no need of any other care than to be faithful to an ordinary way of Devotion without pretending to what is extraordinary and we have reason to fear that motions now and then to undertake a life of greater perfection may proceed rather from a seeking of our own excellency than a true desire of pleasing God Among these dangers blindness and obscurities we stand in great need of the light of Grace and conduct of some holy Person who is able to discern what is best for us However putting our confidence in God and living in an entire dependence on him we shall find peace and quiet of mind If we have desires for any thing let it be for such things as Jesus crucified desired for they are contrary to our natural inclinations And though there may possibly occur some self-seeking yet this is the way of Grace inasmuch as the Found of our Soul is agreeable to the Interiour of Jesus and not to that of Adam Let us have a desire to be mortified daily with good St. Paul Mortificamur tota die We must endeavour to draw profit from incommodities and ill successes by using them for the advancement of Grace in us By this means we shall purifie our selves and the Interiour of our Souls will empty it self and make room for the spirit of Jesus Christ bringing with him joy and peace unspeakable When we shall have found out the corruption of our heart our inability to any good yea to the least good thought as of our selves 't is not for us to aspire after the most
and miserable I had so little strength that my sufferings did stifle the enjoyment of Gods presence in me and the sensibility of them did eclipse the other And because I thought that this enjoyment of God could not be found but in a Soul exempt from all sorts of Sufferings when Sadness or Pains or Troubles did seize upon me I got free as soon as possible to regain my former state of enjoyment But I see my error for now these sufferings shall become the means to unite me more strictly to God I am content with them and will offer them a sacrifice to that hidden Majesty who is really present in my Soul For I conceive that the Sacred Humanity of Jesus Hypostatically united to the Word had God most intimately present remaining in this union in a state of enjoyment and suffering also As Man he offer'd up to the Divinity a continual Sacrifice of his Humiliations Poverty and Sufferings and the Divinity imparted to him a wonderful enjoyment of sweetness by his presence And in this manner God is yet glorified in a Soul He bestows upon her a profound Peace in the Superiour faculties by being sensible of the Divine Presence And in the mean time being mortified in the inferiour part she makes a perpetual homage of Sacrifice to God by offering up her Suffering to him A Soul in this state is an excellent Image of Jesus as both Traveller and Comprehensour God does not always manifest his presence to a Soul by abundance of Divine Irradiations but sometimes by a sensible Peacefulness which gently touches the heart and unites it to God In this the Intellectual Faculties do nothing but barely eye God and now and then the heart breaths forth some amorous Aspirations As O what a Happiness is it to have God present without a possibility of Separation What can I desire more then to have the possession of God O my God be my Portion and my Heritage for ever Sometimes also the Soul receives a certain prospect of the Grandeurs of God present which works in her Adorations and Humiliations Sometimes the Soul is mov'd with such sensible touches that she experimentally finds God present in her whereby she melts into affections respect and love and praises to the Divine Majesty and thereupon enjoys a Peace that passes our understanding Crosses and Sufferings may bring a Soul in time to a more union with God though not to the pleasures of enjoyment A union so much the more excellent by how much the more 't is imperceptible to the Soul who seeking her own satisfaction has some mixture of self-love in the sweets of enjoyment but cannot happen in the Crucified union which joyns the Soul to God in such a manner as is hardly perceptible That state is most perfect which brings us to the greatest Interiour Purity but this cannot take up a mansion in our heart without an entire death to all Creatures Now in the Crucified union the Soul being only attached to the will of God and not reflecting on her own operations and so taking no self-satisfaction from them she thinks all is lost and that she has no part in the love of God which is the only thing she passionately desires What great pity is it to love and not to know it Nevertheless this Soul that seems to her self in so sad a condition is a delightful Object in the eyes of God who sees in her the love only of his interests in that she is content with a total denudation and confessing she is not worthy of Gods Graces wherewith she beholds others adorned and admiring their beauty perceives not all this while what she is her self And this ignorance of her own state possessing her Spirit by a true sense of her own indignity she easily concludes that she is a miserable Creature And 't is no wonder if discouragment and sadness set upon a Soul in this disposition at least to affect the Inferiour part I clearly see that this union Crucified does advance us in the participation of the states of Christ Suffering which is the greatest advantage a Soul can pretend to in this Life of Mortality seeing this puts us in a condition of most expressing our love to God This great Truth well consider'd will wonderfully comfort a Soul that desires to be conform to the Image of Jesus Crucified The Crucified union carries Mortification to the marrow of the Soul making it die to whatsoever is not God seeing that she lives by the privation of all Creatures But the sensible union does nourish it self by reflections upon such a state which will indeed purifie a Soul from worldly affections however she will go on but slowly to the purity of Perfection if God be not very merciful unto her O my God how ought we to give up our selves wholly though in the dark to the conduct of your Divine Providence 'T is your wisdom to lead us through Obscurities to the end we may deny our own judgment which is no lover of Mortification O how this insensibility does purifie the operations of the Will which cannot relish in this state of denudation any thing but only your good pleasure The Soul in this Crucified union has the advantage to know how tenderly Jesus Christ loved her in his abandonments and humiliations He makes us to suffer this that we may know the greatness of that and this experimental knowledge discovers to us how much Jesus suffer'd in the state of his Humiliations and puts the Soul in a disposition to follow him in his Humiliations And seeing the greatness of the love of Jesus to us was most manifested by his Sufferings for us so our love to him is greatest by our Sufferings for him 'T is to be observ'd that the highest degree of this Crucified union is to have no sight of the excellency of this state which once being perceived begins to lessen our Holy Sufferings CHAP. VII That the Divine Presence makes us to love Prayer or Action as best pleases God I find the Life of Man to be poor and miserable we see not God unless surrounded with Clouds Our true Life consists in a Holy Converse with God present whereby a Soul enjoys a delightful repose and is fill'd with Peace unspeakable And being ravish'd with such lovely sweets does melt into enjoyments which transcend infinitely all earthly pleasures In this disposition a Soul does not relish the affairs of this World Ordinary Discourses though never so harmless are troublesome to her Yea the occasions to help our Neighbour though Good and Holy are not then convenient nor pleasing to her She is all for to be at the feet of Jesus with Mary Magdalen in a perfect repose and let Martha go about her business Notwithstanding God makes us to understand that sometimes we must go out from this in time presence and undertake Exteriour Actions in the Affairs of his Glory Ingredi egredi And this is the Life of a Holy Soul She goes out by
that Purity wherewith I ought to love him who is essentially good and perfect I know God is a jealous God who will admit no Rival in his love and that with great reason because he is only truly amiable as our Soveraign good O that he was loved according to his Beauty My Soul is inflamed with a great desire to disengage her self from all Creatures that I might wholly be busied about God alone I see clearly that this is my principal concern and not to meddle with other affairs without necessity For a Soul whom God attracts to a sublime union with himself must cut off abundance of superfluous thoughts discourses and occupations or else she will be lyable to a thousand amusements For my part I often say to my self Come my Soul let us to our principal work and let the rest alone that does but estrange us from our happiness We must live a life more retired than ordinary with greater silence and attention to God and Holy Duties This life will seem a little abject and will not be so pleasing to many who are for unprofitable recreations But will be amiable to such who are wholly taken up with the exercises of Divine love in a beloved retirement For they have tltogether given themselves up to the good pleasure of God and love nothing but the accomplishment of his holy will This perfect abandon is wrought in us by pure love and this pure love cannot raign in our hearts without a generous mortification to all Creatures and a freedom from an attach to imperfections This death doth work but according to the measure of our love to sufferings which sufferings for God wonderfully unites us to him with the bond of Perfection Purity love suffering God what would we more If Providence so order I shall freely forsake my solitude though most dear to me I will endeavour to die to all things to apply my self wholly to Gods pleasure and sacrifice my self and whatever I have to his holy Will Has he a mind to reduce me to my first nothing If he will have it so I am content Will he have me in a suffering condition His will be done neither will I complain but have recourse to Jesus Suffering for me on the Cross and rest contented with his good pleasure A Soul that loves God and his Will more than the Creature is content and peaceable in all events seeing Faith assures her that the will of God is accomplish'd therein She embraces miseries and afflictions as proper means for her sanctification and discovers more clearly therein the good pleasure of God then in prosperity O my Soul we must now give our selves to God in good earnest indeed by embracing contempt and poverty forsaking the vain respects of the World and sensual delights to expose a Penitent poor hidden abject life so contrary to worldly men Methinks hitherto I have had but Idaeas now I desire to fall to the practice of Perfection after the example of St. Elizabeth While she was a Princess how did she abhor the life of Worldlings and what love had she for a poor abject life O my God when shall I give you the practice of so many excellent truths whereof you have given me the knowledge by heavenly illuminations O my God speak powerfull to my heart and make me faithful in my obedience take from me all other things and attach me entirely to your good pleasure CHAP. XII We ought to comport our selves with a respectful reverence in God's presence A Soul that sees God present with her by the light of Faith will often times feel in her self the great veneration she has for so infinite a Majesty and Benefactor She cannot but have a respectful regard for all the inspirations and secret advices conducing to perfection all good desires which come from God yea she has a reverence and love for Crosses that come from the hand of her Soveraign good The Soul in this state is peaceable and may so continue a long time O my Soul remember this well and when any thing comes into thy thoughts which thou believest to be an inspiration cherish it with great respect and be faithful to the designs of God upon thee according to the measure of their manifestation O what irreverence wilt thou be guilty of not to be Faithful in such cases Above all be content to look upon crosses and humiliations with respect and love and hold thy self happy to be accounted worthy to suffer for Christs sake Vobis datum est ut in Jesum credatis pro eo patiamini God is pleas'd to manifest to me with what dispositions I ought to walk in his presence and in his ways namely humility patience longanimity simplicity and purity When we find our selves in good disposition of heart humility makes a Soul to esteem it highly be it never so small and thinks her self happy to have it because she deserves nothing yea is rather worthy of eternal punishment This will free us from sadness and discouragements when we see others glittering with greater Graces and pulls down our pride from exalting our selves higher than God will have us to be Moreover by patience the Soul is well composed and labours after perfection with courage and perseverance be the time never so long before God bestow on her the gift of Prayer By longanimity the Soul suffers and supports her self in her defects and imperfections so that self-love shall not discourage her in her endeavours Simplicity makes her still to have an eye to God and to follow his conduct whereby at length she arrives to Purity Our chief work must be to do Penance with all humility and if God gives us not the gift of sublime Prayer and eminent virtues to abide peaceable in that little we have and we shall find favour in the eyes of God What we ordinarily want is a noble generosity to support crosses and surmount the contradictions we meet with from nature in the occasions of Fidelity These difficulties make us timerous and fearful but we must be content to be feeble that the Power of the Grace of Jesus Christ may be glorified in us When I am weak then am I strong says St. Paul Virtus in infirmitate perficitur This acknowledgment of our weakness does wonderfully humble us and opens our eyes to see our own poverty and the great need we have to relie on the Grace of Jesus Christ I find that God requires of me to be Faithful in these following practices 1. First I must be very indifferent to whatsoever it shall please God to do with me and to be content either with action or suffering being attent wholly to his good pleasure Why therefore should I long after the Graces of others because great and glorious 'T is enough for me to bless God for them and be faithful to my own with peace and contentedness seeing our happiness consists in serving God in what manner he pleases 2. When I find my self in
of God is all in all unto her and without it all things are as nothing seeing she 's only content with the will of God The Soul that truly understands this Truth lives always well pleas'd in the changes of this Life observing therein the order of Gods Providence wherewith she is well satisfied and resolv'd to be indifferent to every condition If we be not content with a low vocation as well as with great Graces it proceeds from interest and self-love Great Saints of God your ways are high and sublime and mine are low and ordinary in which however I live well pleas'd without aspiring after your elevations because I taste a sweetness in Gods order that contents my heart To abide in interiour peace and tranquility with submission to the Orders of God by a strong union with his good pleasure in all things is not the work of a day we must fight couragiously many years with all sorts of enemies before we can gain so great a victory In my judgment there 's nothing more dangerous than to leave the order of God and to aim at greater things than he will have us But a Soul content with Gods good pleasure is well pleas'd with any state wherein is no Sin nor beloved Imperfections But our Pride is the source of a thousand disturbances and we continually trouble our selves if we will aim at too high a perfection or run too fast to that which God discovers to us by light from Heaven A pure Soul must desire nothing but the pure satisfaction of God and not her own interest though she find in her self much imperfection Jesus Christ to whom she has absolutely given her self such as she is is all perfection this is enough for her she will find in him her repose her tranquility her beatitude without troubling her self too much with her defects and failings I know not how it comes to pass but I am content and imperfect both together and yet my imperfections do not please me neither by the Grace of God shall they disquiet me I do not seek for the object of my contentment in my self but in my God and Saviour the only love and center of my Soul CHAP. XVI The practice of the Presence of God for the seven days of the Week THe solid foundations of a Spiritual Life are Mortifications pure Virtue to shun excess of business though never so good to converse with Holy Persons but above all Prayer and the love of Solitude which affords more liberty to attend to the one thing necessary The Soul that loves cannot but suffer at the absence of her Beloved and therefore love sets her to Prayer to make him present And the better to converse with God and entertain him with amorous discourses she applyes her self sometimes to the Being of God sometimes to this or that Divine Perfection considering him as the Being of Beings who only is of himself and before whom the whole Creation is nothing Sometimes her Meditations present him to her all-powerful with his only word creating and conserving all things And then again she considers him as infinitely wise ordering all things by his wonderful Providence Sometimes as infinitely merciful and patient bearing with our manifold sins and provocations And then again as infinitely loving and amorous of our Souls in a manner unspeakable Sometimes as infinitely just hating iniquity with an implacable aversion not sparing his only Son being a Sacrifice for sin Lastly as infinitely good and merciful pardoning our innumerable sins and transgressions Each day of the Week may take up one of these considerations in mental Prayer if God do not suggest to the Soul some other matter of Meditation The first Day The Being of God IS it so that we live move and are continually in the bosome of God In ipso vivimus movemur sumus and yet think so little of him He vouchsafes to dwell in our hearts and our hearts run after Creatures to rest in them that is in nothing for the Being of all things is nothing else in respect of God but as shadows about us What takes up the greatest part of the World does consist but in imagination as Honour Dignity Praises Reputation c. so much beloved and admired There be other things have a Being to our Senses visible and palpable yet but corporeal and corruptible to day here and gone to morrow however poor Creatures as we are we set our hearts upon them as if they were eternal There are other things whose Being is more permanent and elevated above sense as universal Verities which consist in the understanding however not eternal nor immense nor without defect O my God I elevate my self as I am able to find you and I discover that your Being depends not upon imagination or sense or reason but you are above all this Incomprehensible O Eternal Being You never had beginning nor ever shall have end O infinite Being You are nothing of what we see or know here below You are an Infinity to whom nothing is wanting to whom nothing can be added from whom nothing can be taken away Your Perfection is Infinite O immense Being You fill all things without extension without quantity without parts or composition 't is You alone in whom is the eternal source of Life and Being When I search for you if I go out of your self what do I find but privation and nothing O my God what damage what annihilation is it when we fall into sin or imperfection For this is to go out of our Being to plunge our selves in the Abiss of nothingness Ad nihilum redactus sum O my Soul wilt thou always commit folly Wilt thou daily run after deceits and vanity that is the Grandeurs and pleasures of this World Wilt thou continually tire thy self to follow a shadow that flies from thee And wilt thou forget God the Being of Beings who is every where present and offers himself unto thee O my God so take me up with your presence that I may forget all other things to think on you my only Happiness The second Day The Omnipotency of God 'T Is no better than a Prison to confine our Souls within the small limits of created Beings 't is a slavery to be tyed to the intollerable yoak which the World and Vanity impose on their Servants 't is a Hell to be precipitated into the dungeon of exorbitant Passions and filthy Vices But 't is a Paradice and glorious liberty to be taken up with the Thoughts of God where we may walk at large finding all in him to be infinitely great his Goodness his Beauty his Sweetness and to apply our selves to admire sometimes This then That perfection This day O my Soul let us contemplate the Omnipotency of God wherein we may behold so many wonders O how the effects thereof are admirable in the Production conservation and operations of all Creatures 'T is by this Power the Immense Machine of the World is upheld upon
behold you on the Cross with carnal eyes else next to the Divinity they would discover nothing more sweet and lovely Do not therefore stay me up with Flowers but with Thorns do not encompass me with Apples but with Nails because I languish with love The beauties and sweets of Jesus pierce my heart and I cannot suffer more than to be without suffering in the sight of my suffering and crucified Jesus But some say to suffer much is hurtful to us Alas do we find it hurtful to us to love much Wherefore will ye that love crucifying shall be more moderate then love-enjoying which too often weakens the Soul and sometimes wounds us to death A too great solicitude about corporal health is a sign we do not take up our abode in the wounds of Jesus crucified We are never better then when sighing under the burden of the Cross God beholding himself takes infinite delight in his own perfections out of himself he is alike pleased to see those Perfections crowned in his Creatures His mercy does triumph in the Blessed Saints and Angels and his Justice in Hell A Soul introverted in solitude with God alone finds sweetness unspeakable in considering these marvels She feels also an excessive joy to see that the travels and sighs and sufferings and blood of Jesus are crowned with a Glory by the Elect on earth whether it be by suffering or enjoying When they conquer a temptation the blood of Jesus is crowned When they practise heroick acts of Virtue the blood of Jesus is crowned All glory be to him both in Time and Eternity O Mortals come and see if there be any beauty goodness and perfection comparable to that of Jesus our God and Saviour O how lovely is he and yet how little is he beloved How great and yet how despised How infinite in his Perfections and yet how little known O the only desire of my Soul discover your self somewhat more clearly to me that being ravish'd with your Beauties I may be solely taken up with your Perfections Shall any creature after this oblige me to regard it No my eyes shall be fixed on God alone Farewell then poor Creatures I am above you you shall never more amuse me I leave you to place my thoughts on my Well-beloved Methinks I feel his powerful attracts drawing me out of my self to possess him alone My Friends do not molest me any more leave me in my self to possess my God and admire his Perfections You may serve him by helping others but leave me to serve him in himself I desire none but him nor to be taken up with any thing but him seeing he is pleas'd to let me know it is his pleasure Farewell Creatures farewell Friends farewell Devotes farewell World I am going to God to unite my self unto him by a constant retreat that shall never suffer a separation CHAP. II. Of the necessity of Solitude I am resolv'd on the Vigil of All Saints to mount up to Heaven to congratulate their Happiness and beg their Charity for surely they will be very liberal on their general Festival and my Soul hopes for great succours from them in her miseries However I will chiefly sollicit the Blessed Hermits and Solitary Monks whose habitation in this Life was in Desarts and Monasteries I have a call from Heaven to address my self to them to beg their Intercession for some part of their Spirit of Introversion retirement from the World and Interiour poverty which is the true life of Holy Recluses being in a profound solitude of Soul by a denudation of all Creatures while their Bodies inhabit the most secret Desarts Great Saints what do you here upon Earth You labour not to help others being far remov'd from the company of Men so that you seem to be but unprofitable servants Alas how ill do sensual men judge of the Interiour of Saints I tell you these are the great Servants of God who in their Desarts offer up continual Sacrifices to the Grandeurs of an incomprehensible Majesty by profound poverty of Spirit and annihilation of themselves And being in a denudation of all Creatures their desires are for God and him alone This is the Happy state this is the Paradice my Soul sighs after at present to live so sequestred from Creatures as if I were in the Desarts of Lybia Good Jesus there 's nothing impossible to your Grace grant me this poverty of Spirit and if Exteriour poverty be necessary to possess this Interiour whereof I speak make me as poor as Job if my Friends must leave me I will freely part with them and be content to be forgotten in their affections for ever O my God estrange me from all Creatures give me that profound poverty of Spirit which methinks I understand though I cannot express it Thus dead to the World I shall enter into the joy of my Saviour for there 's no enjoying of God without a perfect denudation of all Creatures But how shall I get this Treasure who have the dominion of Temporal Possessions I must either really quit them to gain this Jewel or possess them as if I possess'd nothing The examples of the Blessed in Heaven afford me both comfort and satisfaction The Saints are rich for they want nothing and notwithstanding they are poor in Spirit because they continually annihilate all the riches of their glory in the presence of the great God being ready to part with their Felicity and to be annihilated if such was the Will of God In this manner I must possess what I have being prepared to part with it when God will have it so I observe that for want of Solitude the Soul does not discern the more subtile workings of God in her interiour which afterwards she discovers by experience These are great Graces but come to no effect for want of introversion and attention I know well enough that Faith is sufficient to direct the Soul to attain to the knowledge and love of her Creator But 't is true also that the God of love has more secret and in-time ways wherewith the Divine Wisdom works the Soul into a temper to make her sensible of his amorous embraces O my God how are you hidden in the fund of our Souls And you do not discover your self to us except in a perfect Solitude when we are out of the noise of Creatures God and the Soul being alone together O poor Mortals how long shall your hearts hanker after the things of this World Turn your selves perfectly to God and see and taste how sweet he is Happy are those moments although but short wherein we have a taste of the Divine sweetness and partake of the effects of his sensible presence Such a Soul will find in her self a certain aversion and disgust of worldly Vanities a desire to leave them a love of Solitude and Silence to be the more at liberty to attend to Gods Service all other things now appearing to her but as dross and dung and
wherein consists their Felicity The Father is the source of Being the the Son the term of his Knowledge and the Holy Spirit of his Love The Son and Holy Ghost are from the Father The Father and the Holy Spirit know the Son The Father and the Son love the Holy Ghost These are the wonders that make Heaven Happy Firmly to believe them is our Blessedness on Earth and to Contemplate them continually brings solid consolation to the Soul I saw clearly that to dispose my self for this incomparable Happiness I was to purifie my Interiour and to mortifie some natural resentments which yet live in me As namely too great a fear about the loss of Worldly things or to be despis'd by others or ill success of Affairs besides too great a sense of humane respects and a backwardness to follow the instincts of Grace for worldly considerations I know God sometimes suffers these Imperfections to live in us for the exercise of Virtue and the Tryal of our Fidelity However his will is that we strive to be dead to the World and our selves having our affections so fix'd on Heavenly things as to live a Divine Life in Mortal Bodies Believe me 'till our Interiour be throughly purified we shall not not be capable of high contemplation nor arrive to much knowledge in the secrets of God Fourth Day IN my first Prayer I was principally taken up with the adorable Person of the Eternal Father Methought I saw how he was ravish'd with Infinite Joy in Himself with the Son and the Holy Spirit And what complacency he also took in the Suffering of the Humanity of Jesus Christ though he loves him with the same love wherewith he loves himself And because these sufferings were pleasing to his Divine Father as satisfactory for our sins he did thirst to suffer more to fulfill his will And therefore after such variety of dolorous sufferings dying on the Cross he cryed out Sitio I Thirst It much rejoyc'd my heart to see what Infinite Complacency the three Divine Persons took in the Divinity and said within my self O Sacred Trinity enjoy eternally these Infinite delights But I desire as much as I can to add to your Exteriour Contentments by imitating the suffering of my Blessed Saviour And herein I will not have so much an eye to the reward to please the Sacred Trinity whom I adore Behold then what hereupon it seems to me God put into my mind 1. To eat neither Fish nor Flesh but in case of Sickness 2. To Discipline every day 3. To be pleas'd with occasions of Contempt 4. To despise all Temporal things to follow the attracts of Divine Love 5. To lie down upon a hard Bed 6. To cut off all Worldly Visits and retire my self into a Solitude where the World may despise me I consider'd in my second Prayer that the Son of God in the bosom of his Divine Father in possession of Infinite Delights and Joys unspeakable out of love to his Father did quit his bosom and cloath himself with Mortal Flesh to plunge himself in the depth of Miseries abjection and sufferings that he might glorifie his Divine Father by his humane and suffering Life and teach us Men his Brethren that the way to enter into the Love and Glory of his Father is by the gate of Sufferings Is it You O only begotten Son of the Eternal Father is it You born in a Stable working in a Shop dying on a Cross You that are all Splendor and Glory the Light of the World and the Delight of Heaven Is it You that are so poor and abject so void of Friends so full of Disgraces so scorn'd and despis'd Is it You whom they esteem as the out-cast of men and not worthy to live on the face of the Earth O the Love of the Son towards his Father O the strange invention of the Son to advance the Glory of his Father O my Jesus how admirable are you in your Divinity But how amiable are you in your Humanity I desire O dear Jesus to follow you all the days of my life and seek no other Glory than in your Cross and Poverty your Humiliations and Sufferings Absit mihi gloriari nisi in Cruce Domini nostri Jesu Christi The Cross of Christ is my Crown and Glory We ought not to possess Honours Riches and Worldly Preferments without Fear and Humility Have we not cause to fear that in a state of Worldly greatness Nature will seek her self and not follow Jesus poor and humble which ought to be done either effectively or in affection A state of Suffering under the Cross is truly Glorious and full of Interiour Consolation In my third Prayer I consider'd that the union of the Father with the Son and of the Son with the Father is by the Holy Ghost a union Infinite and adorable O Holy Spirit seeing 't is your property to unite unite my heart so intimately to the adorable Trinity present in me that I may never suffer a seperation and that this adorable union may be frequent in my Thoughts and Meditations Blessed be your Holy Name my God that you are pleas'd to be so merciful unto me as to take up my thoughts with this incomprehensible Mystery O how do I begin too late having been too long amuz'd with vain trifles My past Life displeases me and the course of the World is troublesome unto me seeing it hinders me from conversing with you as I desire Natural Necessities as to Eat to Sleep to Recreat are burdensom unto a Soul quickened with your Spirit strongly inclining us to live here on Earth as in Heaven in a perfect and perpetual union with your Goodness The consideration which took up my thoughts in my fourth Prayer was that the Eternal Son and Holy Spirit seem'd to have more commerce with men then the Eternal Father because they appeared to us by external Missions the Son being made Man for to die for us and the Holy Spirit taking divers forms for the Service of man and to enflame our hearts with Divine Love The Eternal Father seem'd always to remain in himself ravish'd with his own Infinite Beauties and Perfections O adorable Mansion of the Eternal Father within himself O wonderful Missions of the Son and Holy Spirit towards us Men and for our Salvation eternal matter of Adoration O my God when shall I go out of my self to elevate my heart to you and converse with you I see very well that to enter into a Spirit of Prayer Retirement is requisite Abstinence and Spiritual Exercises And to conserve the same temper of Soul we must practice silence as much as our condition and affairs will permit If the Son of God and Holy Spirit did appear here upon Earth only for our good certainly we ought to endeavour to have our Conversation in Heaven and adore the most Sacred Trinity for these Infinite Mercies Fifth Day MY first Prayer past in acknowledgment and admiration of the Fulness of
the Father as that he cannot beget another like him O my Jesus how this Verity discover'd to me the Riches the Glory the Grandeurs of your Person What Prodigious blindness has seis'd on men as not to see this and not to esteem you above ten thousand Worlds You appear poor humble and abject in their eyes and nevertheless 't is true the whole World is less than an Atomn in your presence I took for the subject of my third Prayer this admirable Truth That the Eternal Father is the source of the whole Divinity which he Communicates to his Son begotten of his substance yet without any Superiority or Authority over him by his Paternity And the Son who receives all from his Father owes him nothing of thanks of service or obedience Not but that he knows his Father well deserves all these returns But being of the same Substance and Authority with him he is not capable to render these Submissions But the Infinite love he has for his Father made him go out of himself and put himself into an Inferiour state by his Incarnation that he might render those thanks praises and services which he merited descending to those wonderful Humiliations and profound annihilations whereby he might do homage to the Infinite Grandeurs of his Father Teaching us by his example that as the Son of God had no other means to honour his Father than by Humiliations and Sufferings so we should take up our Cross and follow him that God may be Glorified My last Prayer this day was a profound consideration of this verity That all the works of the adorable Trinity in relation to the Creatures are common to the three Divine Persons The Father Son and Holy Spirit did concur in the same design of Creation and Conservation of the World though the Father alone begets the Son and the Holy Spirit proceeds from both But all three united imploy'd their Power to do us good as if We had been the object of their Beatitude Is it then true O my God that all the Orders of your Providence by your united forces tend to our good and shall we not have an eye to you Alas we little think on you although the most serious Affairs of the World are nothing in comparison of our concern to consider your Infinite Perfections and love your incomprehensible Goodness St. Arsenius saw this very well when he quitted the Emperour and would not so much as write to him Those who are thus nobly imploy'd cannot be taken up with Worldly Vanities You see a poor Hermit in the Desarts of Thebais ill Clad abject and unknown who seems to the eyes of Flesh the scorn of men however his Soul is wholly taken up with God which is of more worth than the whole Universe You see a great Prince glittering with Gold and precious Stones with a great Train of Courtiers Honoured and Respected of all and in the Interim his Life being only taken up with Worldly concerns is guilty of the greatest Folly and of no esteem in the eyes of God Ninth Day IN my Morning Prayer our Blessed Saviour plung'd me into the Abiss of our own Nothing and Vileness insomuch that this exercise was wholly taken up with my own annihilation Thereupon I said None but the Eternal Father can give to his Son none but the Father and the Son can give to the Holy Ghost and these Presents made to each other are Infinite There pass among them Communications Ineffable and proportion'd to their Grandeurs I consider'd them in my Thoughts and rejoyced plunging my self in the Abiss of my own Weakness in that I could do nothing for God nor give him any thing The best present I can make him is to acknowledge I can give him nothing worth acceptance and this acknowledgment I receive also from the hand of his bounty 't is the effect of his Grace for of my self I cannot do it O the depth of the Nothing of a Creature If I should give my Life for God 't is less then if a Pismire should give hers for a King there being an Infinite distance between God and a Creature All the Angels and Saints that ever shall raign in Glory can add nothing to the Divine Grandeurs The Abiss of my Nothing is beyond expression God only knows it and I see nothing of it but by his Grace O my God if all the Angels and Saints are as nothing before you I that am infinitely below them what I can give is less than nothing My second Prayer went on in the same Thoughts and Considerations And I was much astonish'd in that being acquainted with many Persons and seeing their examples I was so far behind them in Virtue But looking narrowly into my self I must needs acknowledge that the least pittance of Grace the least degree of Prayer the least part I can have in the states of Jesus is infinitely above my deserts 'T is true that a Soul inflamed with Divine love is confounded at the sight of her own unworthiness and suffers a kind of Martyrdom For in that she loves she would do something for her Beloved and being conscious what a Nothing she is of her self and that she can do nothing being in suspense between will and weakness seeing in effect she can do nothing of her self she breaths sorth her desires in such like amorous expressions If I was God and you my God a Creature I would willingly be a Creature that you might be God But seeing this is an imagination of a thing not possible her Martyrdom of love increases and she languishes in that she loves and can do nothing for her Beloved That which comforts her is that being able to do nothing for God she sees that he is all and wants nothing and taking a complacency in this she reposes her self quietly in the bosom of the Divinity with full resolutions to abide there for ever In my third Prayer I apply'd my self to consider the Divinity it self without forming any distinct thoughts thereof but though so I saw nothing yet I knew God more then when I see him in his Creatures They are always finite and limited and therefore the knowledge they afford of God is narrower than that which I have of him beheld in himself Oftentimes when we apply our selves to God to know him we become stupid and as it were without understanding 'T is our duty then to give our selves up into the hands of God who does justly chastise us for our sins by withdrawing himself from us God is very merciful unto us to give us patience in this state During which we must continue our Exercises of Prayer and Retirement and rest as well content with these Insensibilities and dryness as with illustrations from Heaven and gustful Devotion seeing a Soul in either state is well pleasing to God A suffering Life is our Portion on Earth that we may be conform to Jesus Crucified For the union with Jesus Glorified is a Life more proper
O Sacred Spirit of Love and Union what consolation is it to my Soul and what encouragement for my weakness that you will vouchsafe to unite my heart to God from whom you proceed from all Eternity O Divine Spirit so unite me to your self that I may never forsake you but depend absolutely on your conduct In You and by You I adore I love and return all possible Thanks to the most Sacred Trinity for all Graces and Favours received in this retreat Amen CHAP. VI. Another Retreat of Ten Days upon the Adorable Person of Jesus Christ First Day Of the Mystery of the Incarnation I Entred into this retreat being greatly desirous to know Jesus Christ and my first Prayer pass'd in view of the Incarnation a Mystery to be admir'd by Men and Angels to all Eternity the source of all our Happiness A Mystery brighter then the morning Star which ushers in the day to Mortal eyes by shewing to us the Sun of Grace to enlighten the darkness of our Hearts and Cloath us with Immortality and Glory A Mystery of Mercies an evidence of the greatness of Gods goodness to us Christ manifested in our flesh to die for us A Mystery big with wonders where God is made Man and Man becomes God by an Hypostatical union O unspeakable Mystery what Grandeurs and secrets are contain'd in Thee above our understanding O Mystery that brings Heaven upon Earth that scatters our darkness that cures all our evils that teaches me to know and love God thus debased and annihilated for love of me O what sweetness do I tast in this consideration What wonders do I discover of the goodness of God herein beyond all expression O happy those who know it by experience Hereafter I will not trouble my self how I may Love God according to his Goodness or do him Homage according to his Greatness or Praise and Adore him according to his Excellency seeing the only begotten Son of the Father was born of a Virgin-Mother and gave himself to me to discharge these Infinite obligations for me O my Jesus seeing you have wholly given your self to me that I might by you acquit my Obligations my care shall be to Love God by your Love to Obey by your Obedience and to Adore by your Adorations Be you my Light my Strength and my Conductor to find you to know you to be perfectly united to you in this retreat In my second Prayer I consider'd the great Happiness of the Blessed Virgin in being chosen from all Eternity to be the Mother of the only begotten Son of God And I said within my self Doubtless this is the greatest Favourite of God among all Creatures enabled with more eminent Graces than any other for there can be no greater Priviledge or Prerogative Communicated to a meer Creature then to be the Mother of God How are your Thoughts O my God above the Thoughts of Men You bring your Designs about in ways most admirable This most excellent of all Creatures the greatest Favourite of Heaven Mother of God must be Espoused to a Carpenter a poor Tradesman working for his Living She brings forth her Son the King of Glory in a Stable flies into Egypt lives but poorly and suffers Infinite shame and dolours to see her Beloved Jesus Crucified Behold the Designs of the Eternal Father about this Blessed Virgin whom he had chosen to be the Mother of his only Son The weakness of Humane Reason cannot fathom this But this is to teach us to have an esteem for Poverty Sufferings and Abjections seeing God deals thus with his dearest Friends He is pleas'd to put them in this condition that they may be able to render him the greatest Love and Service is possible upon Earth To Love God Supernaturally is to love him at our own expence and being content with Sufferings for his sake A Creature having nothing more to do for God then to offer to him what he most values namely his own Interest and Satisfactions O my Soul do not now complain that thou canst do nothing for God 't is enough that thou canst suffer for him 'T is no easie thing to sound the depth of this verity In my third Prayer I was much taken up with the Grandeurs of the Sacred Humanity of Jesus being elevated to the Divinity in the Mystery of the Incarnation where by a Personal Union it entred into a state of Purity and Love towards the Divinity in so transcendent a manner and surpassing the understanding of Men and Angels that we are fit for nothing but Adoration O what Grandeurs were communicated to the most Sacred Humanity in the first Blessed moment of the Incarnation My understanding though enlightned by Faith found it self lost in this Ocean of Wonders and my Will was actuated with an esteem and Love of Jesus beyond all expression Hence such a Joy possessed my Soul in knowing Jesus with such content and satisfaction that all other knowledges seem'd nothing to it and with St. Paul Non aestimavi me scire aliquid nisi Jesum I esteem'd my self to know nothing but Jesus and Him Crucified I perceived that an amorous union with Jesus Christ does elevate a Soul to a wonderful excellency because it puts us in possession of whole Jesus his Divinity his Humanity his Mysteries and Verities For this union is accompanied with a perfect amity and that makes all things common among Friends O my Jesus although I am of my self nothing but Weakness and Misery being a sinful Creature nevertheles I love you with all my heart and having my part in you I can supply my wants with your Perfections as belonging to me and among my Inabilities present them to the most Sacred Trinity to acquit my manifold obligations O how admirable is this union with Jesus Christ What wonderful benefits does it bring to a Soul who having nothing of her self hath all things in him and by this means becomes Infinitely rich These Thoughts continued yet with me in my fourth Prayer and I admired Jesus from the first moment of his Birth in his applications towards his Divine Father to whom he then offer'd himself a Sacrifice to do him Homage And in his amiable Communications towards us his poor Brethren little worms of the Earth In these Discoveries I was much troubled that I could not serve him by reason of my Inabilities and could not please him by reason of my Infidelities O that I was so happy as to spend my self in his Service and die with Love This is a favour granted but to some special Favourites And alas I am a most unworthy and ungrateful wretch At this time methought I heard our Saviour speaking to me and giving me a strong impression of his Presence O what Happiness is it to know Jesus O what favour is it to find him What sweet repose finds that Soul who has a feeling knowledge of Jesus in her When this Science of Jesus appears in her Interiour all is sweet and lovely full
of Joy and Peace and It then seems to her that heretofore she was wandring in darkness In effect it seems to her that she now lives in another World with other Lights and other Principles and other Proceeding and another tast of Spiritual things She now seeks occasions to mortifie her Senses obedience dependance contempts losses do relish with her and she 's pleas'd only to live a Life of Faith making no matter of the mockeries of Worldly men who judge not but by Sense or at best but according Humane Reason Second Day Jesus an Infant BEginning my Morning Prayer these words of the Prophet were presented to my Thoughts Consideravi opera tua expavi I have considered your Works O my Saviour and stand amazed with admiration And how could I be otherwise affected to see the Eternal God an Infant To see that Immensity which the Heavens cannot contain lie Swadled in a Manger Eternity but one day old Omnipotency become weakness The joy of Angels in a suffering condition O God of Love who can but fall into an Extasie to see these wonders this excess of Goodness above the comprehension of Men and Angels But Blessed Saviour 't is your Glory to have nothing and do nothing but what is altogether incomprehensible I observ'd a great silence in Heaven and Earth where the whole Creation seem'd to be struck dumb with admiration of the great Mysteries then brought to pass I beheld how the Virgin Mary and good Joseph fixing their Eyes on the Infant God-man lying in a Manger spake not one Word being transported with Love and Admiration and wholly astonish'd at an Humiliation so Prodigious and I wonder'd all Creatures did not stand immoveable for a whole Age at the sight of so incomprehensible a Mystery All Expressions are below this excess of Love and Condescention Let us O my Soul be silent with a respectful attention loveing adoring admiring these great things God has done for us Methinks I have a desire to stand always in silence at the feet of Infant Jesus I apply'd my self in my second Prayer to consider the universal denudation of all things that seem'd most necessary at his coming into the World To be born as an Exile out of his Mothers House to have no lodging usual for men but a Stable which is prepar'd for Beasts to be his Bed-chamber and a Manger for his Cradle to suffer the rigours of Winter for want of Fire what poor miserable Creature could be reduced to a greater denudation Notwithstanding this is that which ravish'd both Heaven and Earth and the Glorious Angels found nothing in Heaven of equal admiration and therefore hither they came to contemplate these wonders and to bring the glad tidings thereof to men making the Air to eccho with their joyful Melody and without any mention of the Divinity declare only to them that they shall find an Infant wrapt in swadling Cloaths lying in a Manger And hither the Shepherds ran transported with Joy and the World has followed them When the Wise men demanded of Herod Where he was born who was King of the Jews This Idaea of Royalty did much afright him and in rage he design'd a Cruelty more Barbarous than what as yet the Sun did ever behold 'T is a great Truth that Grandeur and an elevated condition though in the Person of God himself made man is attended with many evils and commotions but abjection and Humiliations in the Infant Jesus has force enough to win our hearts And yet we will not understand this In my third Prayer I discover'd that since the Mystery of the Incarnation which is the wonderful union of the Creator with the Creature then Sons of men are called to a higher degree of Prayer and Converse with God then formerly The gift of sublime Prayer is one effect of this Divine Mystery and we ought to value and preserve it as a Treasure The heart of Jesus is the center of men and when a poor Soul is distracted she must gently lead her self to the heart of Jesus to offer to the Eternal Father the holy dispositions of that adorable heart to unite that little we do with that Infinite service Jesus renders to his Eternal Father Thus our little will be made great by Jesus Christ O my Soul let this Divine heart of Jesus for the future be thy Oratory 'T is in him and by him thou must offer all thy Prayers to God to make them acceptable to the Divine Majesty Make this thy School to learn there the supereminent knowledge of the Love of God which is quite contrary to that of the World Thou wilt find there Principles sublime and pure a Treasure which will enrich thee with Purity Love and Fidelity and what is very plentiful in this Treasury Humiliations Poverty and Sufferings The love and esteem of these things is a precious Jewel which principally and originally is found in the heart of Jesus Other hearts how noble soever have more or less of it according to the measure they receive from this exhaustible Treasury In my fourth Prayer I had a strong Idaea of the dispositions which the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph had towards the Infant Jesus 'T was revealed to a Holy Soul that the Blessed Virgin passed all the time in Prayer while her Sacred Womb was the Tabernacle of the Son of God and never ceas'd to adore the Word made Flesh That St. Joseph entring with the Holy Virgin into the Stable at Bethlehem was elevated in high contemplation upon the Mysteries there to be Accomplish'd and in this Prayer was so replenished with the Holy Spirit that his desires for the coming of the Messias were more pure and more ardent then of all the Holy Patriarchs before And that next to the Holy Virgin he was enlightned with the wonders of the Mystery of the Incarnation At the moment of the wonderful Nativity of the Infant Jesus such Rayes of Glory and admirable Splendors were darted from his Soul as pierced the Spirit of the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph and discover'd to them the Infinite Grandeurs of that Babe through all the weaknesses their eyes were witness of And in deep silence and contemplation they offer'd to him a pure and amorous offering of their whole Being as to their God O who can comprehend the wonderful effects that his presence caus'd in their Hearts These considerations did sweetly possess my Soul during my Prayer and I found my self in a disposition of great Love for Internal Prayer in Silence and Solitude with Infant-Jesus Third Day Jesus Poor and Abject IN my Morning Prayer I found in my self a great esteem and love for Poverty seeing Jesus had so esteem'd and lov'd it and we have an obligation to be conform to him And I said within my self O Poverty of Spirit what riches dost thou bring to a Soul Thou givest her possession of a Kingdom of Peace Thou dost purifie her to unite her to Jesus in his Humiliations which
gives her a right to the riches of Glory for Truth hath said it Blessed are the Poor in Spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven O how a Soul which once hath beheld the Beauties of Holy Poverty is ready to follow Jesus poor and abject and conform her self to his example She finds her self freed of her Fetters which keep men Captives and Slaves to the World and it seems to her to be depriv'd of all Creatures is the greatest Treasure upon Earth She growes rich by her losses and when God will have her to possess Goods and Honours 't is yet with a disposition to quit them and possess God alone She therefore only keeps them by a pure dependance on the Divine Will without an esteem or love for them but loves in them solely the Will of God These were the impressions my first Prayer made in me In my second Prayer I continued to consider the poor and abject states of Jesus Christ God in his Eternal Decrees had a love for the humane ways of the Word Incarnate Those Souls who are favour'd with Illustrations from Heaven are strongly carried the same way discerning clearly that they can do nothing better upon Earth than to tread the footsteps of God himself To this end the Divine Wisdom elevates them above themselves and their natural inclinations to conduct them solely by the instincts of Grace whereby they make a glorious conquest over the weakness of Nature Self-love and Carnal Prudence which stand in the way to Christian Perfection and hinder us from following Jesus in his Abjections It highly concerns us to die daily to the World that we may attain to the Purity of Divine Love that is Possess and Love God alone The Pride of Adam will not die in us unless we be content to follow Jesus in his Abjections O my Soul let us fall in Love with this state of Jesus Christ which is little known to the World and take it for a Soveraign favour from Heaven to become so contemptible for Gods sake as to pass for one hardly good for any thing O Jesus how few Companions have you of your extreme Poverty Many Honour this Virtue in you but few practice it They must be Faithful Friends indeed who follow you in these ways so bitter and distastful to Flesh and Blood O Jesus be Merciful unto me and grant me this Fidelity that I may never forsake you in Life nor Death My third Prayer was taken up with a general view of the Humiliations of the Son of God for which I felt my Soul had much Love and Respect These Divine Humiliations did ravish me beyond comparison and I discover'd such wonderful Beauty in them that I could not be satisfied with beholding them I was deeply possess'd with a desire to conform my self to Jesus in his Humiliations and to spend my days in his imitation and I was much troubled I could not yet quit all things to live a poor abject retir'd life 'T is no less the work of Grace to bring us to relish the Abjections of Jesus Christ as to be taken with his Grandeurs His Grandeurs are incomprehensible but nothing in my eyes seem more great and rich and precious than his Humiliations The unspeakable Love that Jesus Christ has for Souls does manifest it self by making them partakers of his Humiliations Be content O my Soul with what part he shall give thee For it seems to me a punishment to abound with Riches and Honours whereby we become unlike to Jesus and march on in ways contrary to his practice and example When I reflect upon my sins I cannot sufficiently admire the great Graces God is pleas'd to vouchsafe me A strong argument to convince of his Infinite goodness and affords much matter of Humiliation considering how unworthy I am of the least favours But for me a poor wretch to have a call to solitude to converse only with God and his Holy Angels what a Mercy is this It came into my mind that Moses who had been a Captain of Thieves was afterwards a Holy Hermit and I had a special Devotion to him desiring him to help me by his Prayers O the wonderful effects of Grace that a Robber should become a Hermit I have a Devotion to Saints that have been great sinners methinks they are Powerful with God to help sinners to be converted This view of the extreme humiliations of Jesus yet continuing was the subject of my fourth Prayer And I found in my self great desires to begin a new kind of life to give my self absolutely to God as a Sacrifice by dying to all things of the world by a vow of Poverty But I being not yet in a condition to forsake my temporal affairs I resolv'd to make such a Vow when all things were settled and I took care that my affairs might be so regulated as to put me in a condition to comply with the call of God Having taken this resolution I found my heart inflamed with desires to be wholly for God and to conform my self as much as possible to Jesus in his humiliations Nature felt some afflicting resentment hereat and furnish'd me with arguments to divert me from it But the light of Grace scatter'd these thoughts and taught me to neglect the help of Creatures by casting my self wholly into the arms of his Providence O my Jesus the only love of my Soul though the most despised of men your Divine attracts and inspirations do so powerfully invite me to follow you in your ways of poverty that I shall never soon enough see the happy moment to engage my self thereto by a Vow never to be recalled Fourth Day Jesus the Fountain of Grace and Piety IN my first Prayer God gave me to see the infinite grandeurs of the Sacred Humanity united to the Divinity in the same person This ineffable union was the general and amorous object of my regard which wrought in my Soul a very great esteem and singular love and union with Jesus Christ This state of Jesus rejoyced my heart and I dwelt upon it my Soul being satisfied with wonderful contentment I had interiour assurances and very great certitudes of the Divinity of Jesus nothing in him seemed dark unto me though all surpassed the strength of reason I beheld him as the Principal of Grace and Glory This manifestation was in me by a Divine light and I found it filled my heart with most pleasing impressions The small conviction we have of the Divinity of Jesus makes us such cold Christians and that we walk so slowly in the ways of Grace For who firmly believes that Jesus is God will have a singular esteem of his Doctrine of his Counsels of his Proceedings and think it his Glory for to follow him The perfect belief of the Divinity of Jesus carries a Soul to real endeavours after perfection to despise the world to take up the Cross and follow Jesus in his abjections This is to be the Image of Jesus Christ
another as I have loved you which was the subject of my second Prayer I then found that when a Soul has made a good entrance into the heart of Jesus Christ and by the light of Prayer sees the infinite love of God towards men Grace then discovers how this divine charity is free generous and magnificent Free having a love for us when objects of his just displeasure Generous surmounting all difficulties and conquering all resistances Magnificent in giving his own life for our Redemption This is a Zeal truly Divine for the Salvation of Souls Now his pleasure is that the charity we have for our Neighbour be regulated by this divine Model that we love them to do the will of God and obey his Commands That we love them generously without any regard to natural aversions or injuries they have done us or any temporal advantages we may receive from them but after the example of Jesus to love and do good even to our greatest enemies O how many great Saints considering the ardent love of Christ to us have burn'd with the flames of a holy Zeal and spent themselves in labours to do good to those Souls for whom Christ died But alas we have little zeal for God for our Neighbour or our selves My third Prayer passed in considerations of the prodigious goodness of Jesus to men who seem'd to forget himself and depose the grandeurs of his Majesty to debase himself in the search of our Souls to indulge and love them with as much affection as if they did contribute to his felicity He prevents them with wonderful mercies and though they be unworthy of his love he gives them sensible feelings thereof by speaking to the heart in this or such-like manner My Sister my Spouse my love takes a delight in thee knowest thou well who I am 'T is I that am thy God thy Creator thy Saviour 'T is I who came from the bosom of my Father into this world to find thee being lost and tell thee how I love thee and I demand nothing but love again My Soul thus prevented with the blessings of this sweetness and powerfully touched with a sense thereof wanted words to express my thankfulness However I said O my God! You are my love I love you and will love you eternally with all my heart for what else have I to return but love for love 'T is a wonderful love for you to debase the grandeurs of your Divinity to search after poor sinful Souls Nor is it less wonderful for you to draw these Souls out of themselves to free them from their miseries and advance them to your embraces and place them in your heart as some rich Treasure This is the wonderful excess of the love of Jesus Zelator of Souls This love that so humbled Jesus does elevate a Soul to these amorous exercises and makes her see her own unworthiness and the incomparable beauty of her well-beloved In my fourth Prayer I had a deep impression of Jesus humbled and doing Penance for us I beheld him as it were annihilated in the presence of his eternal Father to honour his eternal Beeing by sacrificing his humanity which he continued his whole life and consummated on the Cross I beheld also how being charged with our sins he did continual Penance for us to satisfie the divine Justice and give content to that infinite love he has for our Souls Let us love then O my Soul our Jesus as he has loved us and imitate his sufferings by a spirit of penance and annihilation I am a great sinner and therefore ought to entertain a spirit of penance and thereby make advantage of all evils and infirmities which happen to me My principal affair in this world ought to be to annihilate my self and to suffer to annihilate my self to pay homage to the infinite grandeurs of God and to suffer as a just punishment of my sins After Confession having but one Gloria Patri for my penance it came into my thoughts that no penance is little when 't is united to the sufferings of Jesus Christ who by them has done penance for our sins It seemed to me that one only Ave Maria united to the sufferings of the Son of God which are of infinite merit and did infinitely satisfie his eternal Father becomes a penance which wonderfully satisfies for our sins My Soul was comforted with this truth and I had no more to do than to unite my little Crosses to the Cross of Jesus Sixth Day Jesus contemplating and enjoying OUr blessed Saviour did fill my Soul with such super-abundant consolation in my morning Prayer that I seem'd to have some part of that state of enjoyment which is reserv'd for the Saints in Glory O amorous enjoyment how wonderfully dost thou purifie our Souls Thou takest our hearts off from the World thou dost Crucifie us with a delightful Martyrdom thou dost enlighten thou dost purifie thou dost inflame thou dost mortifie thou dost fortifie thou makest us live and die together A small tast of this Ocean of delights will inebriate the Souls of men and the Angels in Glory This is that Blessed Life which is granted to some Servants of God honouring him by continual enjoyments which he pours into their Souls 'T is a great secret of the Interiour Life to be passive to the operations of God in us whether he visits us with dolorous and crucifying or joyful and beatifying impressions Our fidelity consists in a pure correspondence to his designs without reluctance If he please to make our Soul a Garden of Delights embrace his Favours All the ways of God are good in themselves but that which he puts us in is best for us O how the state of Jesus suffering is adorable O how his state of enjoying is admirable We must apply our selves to one or other according to the designs of the Divine Wisdom I found an Image of Jesus in Contemplation his Look and Posture ravish'd me and this took up my second Prayer I was not satisfied with beholding his Divine Aspect I admir'd and ador'd him Considering the profound attention he had to the Grandeurs of his Eternal Father and how he was absorp'd in the Divinity I made it my work to contemplate also by him and in him uniting my self to the utmost of my Power to his Divine entertainments O Jesus contemplating Jesus taken up with your Father with whom you pass in Prayer whole nights made as bright as the days of Eternity Jesus living a retir'd life in the Divine Essence You are the object of my Love I see nothing so beautiful as you are in this state My Soul hath no greater delight upon Earth than to have an eye to Jesus to think of him to speak of him to sigh after him O how happy is that Soul which Jesus makes his Mansion I know not how Jesus comes into a Soul but he 's there sometimes sooner then perceiv'd filling her with Blessings and making her to find that
and Redeemer to lay out thy self upon the Creature and not correspond to his Inspirations who calls thee to himself What a horrible Infidelity would this be Let us not grieve the Holy Spirit by whom we are Sealed to the day of Redemption The subject of my third Prayer was the admirable Oeconomy of the Incarnation in that by the excess of Love and Goodness God was made Man and Man became God I had profound veneration for the adorable Humanity absorpt in the Divinity and with an amorous confidence beheld the Divinity as it were annihilated in the Humanity which seem'd to me as a Tabernacle of Honour where God dwelt with Infinite Delight This Humanity also in a manner diviniz'd takes Infinite Delight in the Divinity from whence it receives wonderful Impressions of Annihilation to be poor abject and despis'd Crucified For after God was made man he inspir'd the Humanity with ardent desires and love of Sufferings for us Men and our Salvation O Jesus when you communicate your self to a Soul she receives impressions from you which incline her to a love of Contempts and Sufferings And when a Soul feels in her self the greatest propension to Sufferings and Self-denyal 't is then she most participates of your communications and has the greatest assurance of them For O good Jesus your Spirit is full of such impressions from the Divinity and the Soul where you reign as King does Infallibly receive the like impressions from your presence In my fourth Prayer I was touch'd with a great desire to leave this Mortal Life so full of Sin and Misery and depriv'd of the Beatifical Vision of God my Saviour Oh how irksom is it not to be in a capacity to contemplate at leasure this Infinite Beauty this Essence full of Infinite Perfections this only true Object of the Loves of Heaven and Earth O when shall I be deliver'd from this Prison of Flesh that I may behold Jesus the Light of my Eyes and Joy of my Heart Must I yet continue longer in this banishment What a cross is it to live here What a punishment is the delay Death how welcom wilt thou be in my embraces We must languish with Love after the Infinite Beauty of Jesus Christ and sigh to enjoy him O my Soul do not amuse thy self with Creatures love the Cross which is the high-way to Happiness Is it possible to believe in Jesus Christ and Love him and to languish with Desires to enjoy Him To stand much in fear of Death is a sign we have little desire to see the Infinite Beauties of God seeing Death only opens the gate of Paradice O Death thou art desirable come and put me in possession of the Object of my Love that I may live with Jesus who is the source of Life and the joy of the Blessed In the interim O my Soul let us have neither Love nor Life nor operation but what is in him and for him our Soveraign Happiness Vivit in me Christus Eighth Day Jesus our Light JEsus was present to me in my first Prayer as the Light of the World which discover'd to me such a Beauty in the Mysteries of our Religion with rayes of a new Light that I saw more then ever the vanity of the World and the strange Sottishness of such men who preferr'd the Darkness of Falsehood before the Light of Truth Insanias falsas The beams of this Light works wonders in a Soul for it leaves such impressions as bring her to know Truth in another manner then by the sole Light of Reason or Faith either If we be in the Closet of some great King in the dark we know well there be excellent pieces there we may know their number bigness and value of the Precious Stones the rareness of the Painting and what else we see not But when once the least light of day appears then we begin to have a view of all their Riches Beauties and Excellencies and the whole order of the Closet salutes our eyes and in admiration thereof we are taken with it in an extraordinary manner When it pleases God to give us a sight of his Divine Beauties discovering them to a Soul by the least Ray of his Heavenly Light then the Soul is wonderfully affected and being more then ever transported with admiration looks upon all things of the World as nothing Faith indeed gives us a certain assurance of her Objects but leaves in obscurity But one sole Ray from the Eyes of Jesus when he is pleas'd to dart it into a Soul doth confirm fortifie encourage and refresh her with Illustrations extraordinary and Soveraign consolations Accedite ad eum illuminamini We cannot approach to Jesus and not be enlightned I came to know in my second Prayer that when Jesus is pleas'd to manifest himself to a Soul he infuses a Light into her which gives her a marvellous Facility to believe the Verities of the Word Incarnate She has a certainty and as it were experience that his Thoughts his Words his Actions his Proceedings his Doctrine his Sufferings were Divine and brought a Soveraign Honour to the Divinity O Science of Jesus how art thou sweet and admirable All other knowledge in respect of thee is but ignorance and vanity I have by the great goodness of God had some little experience to know Jesus in this manner but I cannot express it The more this knowledge increases the less is it explicable The profound attention to Jesus does so take up my Spirit that it takes away my Speech It calls me from all Creatures to converse with him alone and draws me out of my self to be ravish'd with him O World how blind art thou not to see the Beauty of the Poor and abject states of Jesus His Doctrine and his Maxims are the only true Light All that thou hast O ignorant World seduced by the Prince of Darkness is but meer Darkness thy opinions thy imployments thy hopes thy fears thy desires thy entertainments are but Darkness and disorder thou stumblest almost at every step because thou walkest in Darkness out of which thou canst never get but by Jesus Christ For as the Sun is the principle of Corporal Light to the World so Christ the Sun of Righteousness is the source of all Spiritual Light and whom his Grace and Doctrine do not enlighten they wander in Darkness Ego sum Lux mundi qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris My third Prayer pass'd in continual astonishment in that I had so little known Jesus Christ and of that extreme blindness wherein I had liv'd At present I had almost a continual sight and a sweet and forceable inclination to regard this admirable Object so that I thought every moment lost which was not so imployed To behold him with amorous affections is a Cure for all my evils For when my Soul is afflicted with fears of loosing Gods favour or with experience of her Miseries or with difficulties about Perfection one
he ought nor lov'd with thankfulness He loves us so as to die for us and we make no reciprocal returns O the prodigious insensibility of men Is then Jesus Christ a stranger to us and not our God and Saviour Does the History of his holy Passion pass with us as a profane or indifferent thing Ought not the bloody Tragedy of Calvary fill all Christian hearts with love and sorrow For my part I could hide my head with shame that I have so little compassion and love for Jesus dying on the Cross for our Salvation O my Jesus I confess my fault in that I have so little known my infinite obligations to you But seeing your Grace discovers now to me more clear than heretofore what you are I will never more lose sight of you I will love nothing more than You and esteem nothing more than to do you honour You are my true Father my true Brother true Friend true King true Redeemer O how great a truth is it that you are all in all unto me O that I have been so long without knowing you aright O Jesus how Happy am I that I have found you O let me never so much loose my self as to forsake you For my fourth Prayer I stood at the Sepulcher of Jesus and seeing his precious Body dead and covered with Wounds I made this Epitaph Here lyes Love Yes yes here lyes Love indeed for his excessive Love to us brought him to this state and condition A state full of horror and wounds Blood and Infamy But a state well pleasing to God as satisfying his Justice for mans Redemption I embraced his precious Body and kiss'd his Sacred Wounds I adored Jesus in this state and said O my Soul we must either cease to Love Jesus or die with him seeing Love equalizes Lovers and makes them alike My Soul then chose to die with Jesus and after many sighs and desires to please her Beloved she died with Jesus never willing more to live a Natural and Humane Life but a Life Divine and Supernatural as that of Jesus And I made for her this Epitaph Here lyes a Soul dead of Love Behold in what consists the death of my Soul 't is to live no longer according to the natural Inclinations but according to the motions of Grace which are the Love of Poverty Contempt and Sufferings While these dispositions live in a Soul she is dead to Sensual desires and lives a Life of Grace a Life Supernatural Therefore for the future I will never hunt after Honours or Pleasures or Riches willingly and by Election but I will either heartily forsake them or if I use them it shall be upon Divine Motives for the good of my Neighbour or for pure necessity seeing That is the Will of God the surest rule of all our Actions Tenth Day Jesus risen from Death and Glorious IN my Morning Prayer I consider'd the Glory of Jesus Christ in the state of his triumphant Resurrection O Jesus how Glorious are you How well does this become you Verily 't was a strange state whither your Love had brought you A state of Misery Shame and Sorrow This was well for us Criminals but in no sort agreeing to you who are Innocence it self For what belongs to you is Majesty and Glory What joy did swell my heart to see Jesus Glorious My Tongue cannot express what my Heart feels This great Feast of the Resurrection is to be celebrated by all Creatures seeing 't is the day wherein Jesus appears as God O Feast of the Glory of Jesus O Feast of the Glory of Mary 'T was a Miracle she did not die of Sorrow at the Death of her Son and 't is another Miracle she did not die of Joy at his Glorious Resurrection O my heart be thou enlarged with Joy for 't is a general rule without exception that the Interest of the Creator is to be preferr'd before all Creatures And therefore O triumphant Jesus I more rejoyce that you are Glorious then that I hope to be Glorified with you Yea though I should never be raised your Glory does ravish me It glads me when I consider that damnation only concerns the Creature for the Interest of Jesus suffers not thereby seeing God is Glorified by the Reprobates as well as by the Saints in Glory 'T is also a certain rule that the Elect O Divine Jesus are Images of you and so necessarily must resemble you in your Sufferings if with you they will be Glorified 'T is a folly to think not to suffer here some way or other more or less seeing the way to Glory is by Sufferings O my Soul be thou united to Jesus Crucified and then thou shalt have part with Jesus Glorified To this end thou must love the Cross and desire of Jesus to die or suffer O World thy way is meer folly and nothing else In my second Prayer I was taken up with these words of Divine Jesus Ought not Christ first to suffer and so to enter into Glory I discover'd how all the Divine Perfections did wonderfully shine forth therein But above all the Wisdom of God doth ravish those hearts which contemplate the works of Grace and Mercy O Divine Wisdom how well is the Oeconomy of your Mysteries order'd to work our Salvation and bring us to Glory Every Mystery which I consider'd did raise a new Fire in my breast to inflame my affections with the Love of Jesus Sometimes they altogether did as with so many arrows pierce my heart and made me languish with Divine Love For seeing my self so Belov'd of good Jesus how could I but Love him again O Infinite Love of Jesus for whom shall I have a heart if not for thee O Love 't is for thee my heart is reserved Thy attracts are powerful enough do not redouble them so sweet and charming 't is enough my heart is for thee O Love except thou wilt have me die do not wound me any more Yet I will die willingly if thou wilt have it so on the Cross of Interiour and Exteriour Suffering that I may be conform to my Loving Saviour My third Prayer was a continuation of the Sentiments of the Love of Jesus I made use of the words of great St. Austin in his Confessions O my Jesus you have wounded my heart with the arrows of your Charity and I have devoted it to your Love Since that you have scatter'd my Darkness and made your self known unto me I have not forgot you Since I had the Happiness to know you I have imprinted you in my memory there I find you and I tast perfect Delights and receive extreme Joy and Contentment when I remember you My Soul feeling Divine Fires within her which did fill her with Pleasures I did sing extempore Canticles to my Beloved and though not methodical yet they better express'd her amorous languishings Though alone in my Chamber I spake of Jesus aloud as if I had had many Auditors to be partakers of my
Happiness I make Colloquies among many Lovers of Jesus I think I hear St. Romuald say My dear Jesus my sweet Love the inestimable Object of my Desires the Delight of Saints the Joy of Angels who will give me to Love you as much by my Self as they do altogether Another answered Seeing your Perfections O good Jesus have no limits the Love which all hearts have for you ought to be Infinite Another said O Saviour the Fruits are Testimonies of true Love your appear to me admirable in the effects of your Sufferings and that bloody Death you endured for me But what have I done as yet to testify my Love or make you Love me Another concluded and said Let us Love and Suffer and let us die by the hands of the same Love which made Jesus die upon the Cross O Sacred Love how kindly cruel art thou to those who fall into thy hands For thou dost cut and mortifie and humble and annihilate All thy Servants more or less carry the marks of thy Severity St. Philip Nereus in his Ribbs St. Francis in his Hands and Feet and very Heart But O Divine Love I fear not thy Cruelty Mortifie me Crucifie me Burn me Alive I desire to die by no other hand The conclusion of all the Prayers of my Solitude was an absolute abandon of my self to Jesus Christ to whom I gave my self up in a new manner irrevocably to live or die to act or suffer to be in such a state as best pleases him Ardently desiring that his Sacred Love would make me die to all things but himself The Martyrdom of Love is longer then that of Tyrants and sometimes more tormenting fighting against all our natural Inclinations breaking through all oppositions whatsoever to practice the virtues of the Word Incarnate Without doubt we suffer much to follow that Grace which calls us to die on a Cross poor contemned and abandoned But he that Loves finds sweetness in these Sufferings 'T is a great wonder to make a Creature of nothing But 't is a far greater to make a sinner a Saint And this O Jesus is the only work of your Grace 'T is you that are victorious and triumphant in all your Elect over the corruption and malignity of Sin O Jesus how great is the Power of your Grace How is your right Hand glorified by working wonders O Jesus the Infinite source of Power and Virtue of Grace and Sanctity of Beauty and Perfection O that I have as yet so little known you In Heaven they only see you clearly but yet 't is a Favour and Happiness beyond expression to have some knowledge of you in this Life When I behold Jesus my Soul wants words and can say nothing but Jesus and in saying Jesus it says all it would though it be ineffable O Jesus vouchsafe me some little sight of you in this banishment that my Soul may be comforted Jesus God and Man the eternal Splendour and Crown of Saints be you hereafter the only Object of my Desires and Love that I may be so united to you as never to suffer a separation When Jesus once possesses a Soul her Thoughts are on him her Words are to him and her Love is for him She then lives in a region of Light Beautiful beyond all expression and in her ardours of Love she seems wholly Passive to the operations of Jesus in her Jesus is enlightning enflaming Piercing and Consummating Jesus is more in the Soul then her self and lives more in her then her self all is converted into Jesus by a co-operation of Love which she feels but cannot explicate It seems to my Soul that hitherto she has been but in continual amusements How many vain Idaeas have taken up her Thoughts But at the sight of Jesus all Creatures appear'd but as Dreams and they fled before him as Owls at Sun-rising I know you then O amiable Jesus I see that you are Verity and all the World but Vanity O Divine Jesus reign for ever in my Soul establish your Empire in my heart and be absolute King there for it is yours Let all the Blessed Angels and Saints in Heaven and all Creatures Bless you and Praise you and help me to return you Thanks for all the Favours your Infinite Goodness has vouchsased me in this Retreat Add this also O most Merciful Jesus to your other Graces that I may have a perpetual dependance on your Holy Will and live in you and for you who lives and reigns World without end Amen The End of the Fourth BOOK BOOK V. Of Communion and its Effects CHAP. I. Of Preparation before Communion A Person that often receives his God in the Holy Communion ought to direct all the Actions of his Life to that end and render them a Preparation to it And as those Acts whereby we prepare our selves ought to be most Holy most replenished with Grace so by consequence the Life of one that does often frequent the Sacrament ought to be a continued exercise of Holy and Supernatural Acts. We ought to lead a Life worthy of the Divine Bread which is given us in this adorable Sacrament A common and material Bread supports the Life of Nature But he who is himself the Bread of Graces bestows on us a Life of Grace a Life Holy and Divine and Infinitely rais'd above the Humane Life And therefore is little known little sought by such as lead a common Life and are unwilling to leave themselves and their Temporal concerns to live to Jesus Christ who to that end gives himself to them that he may be their Life O my God how Ignorant and Earthly has my past Life been since I am so little acquainted with this Life more than Humane But now out of your Mercy you vouchsafe to bestow on me such Sentiments as incline me to enter upon this Life For I plainly see that a Soul well settled in the state of Grace ought to live no longer according to Nature but according to Grace The Motions Maxims and Designs of the Supernatural Life take their Original from Grace and are of a very different relish from such as affect Souls which move only by the impressions of Nature For the Soul actuated by this Life embraces Contempts Sufferings Abjection and her delight is to be annihilated in the esteem and love of Creatures so far it is from seeking those things never so little To live this Life is to live the Life of Jesus and to become one and the same with him and it is an excellent Disposition to live by him while the Soul receives him as its proper nourishment Qui manducat me vivet propter me Your Delights O Lord are to be with the Children of Men But these Delights ought to be Reciprocal that is to say That Souls ought to take their Delights in you in your state of Poverty and Abjection that so you may take your Delights in them What an excess of Goodness is this O Lord that being so
condition of Interiour Captivity where the Soul lyes bound and ty'd up in darkness and prison For this condition Honoureth the Captivity of Jesus confined to the narrow compass of a little Host This Divine Lord of ours shuts himself up in this strait Prison for the Love of us The King of Glory is contracted under these little Species and so renders himself a Prisoner to man yes he renders himself in appearance his Slave giving all of himself to man and still Sacrificing himself to his Eternal Father for man He still suffers as I may say and dies for man and communicates to him all the merits of his precious Blood and Passion O Divine Captive captivate my heart so strongly that it may never be able to re-enter into its natural liberty But that wholly destroyed and annihilated it may never be capable of any other Life than that which is more than Humane Never enjoy any other liberty than that of your Children Let the World look upon them as slaves And load them with all Indignities as the out-cast of men in despite of all contempt they are still your Children Every time we approach to this Sacrament wherein Jesus Christ gives himself to us whole and entire we enter into a new obligation and contract to give up our selves wholly entirely to him and to endeavour to render all our Actions Divine Wherefore a Virtuous Soul ought not to say I have not had time enough to prepare my self before Communion for she ought to aim at no other thing in all the Actions of her Life than to receive this Bread of Life to the end she may live the Life of Jesus and keep her self continually in such dispositions as she sees him in in the Blessed Sacrament CHAP. III. To receive the Communion Worthily we must imitate those Actions which Jesus Christ practis'd when he Instituted it I remark Principally three Actions that Jesus Christ was pleas'd to do for our example when he instituted the Holy Sacrament And we cannot make a perfect Communion without the practice of them 1. He never performed any Exteriour Act of such a profound Humility In Truth he annihilated himself in the work of his Incarnation Both according to his Humane Nature which he deprived of its Natural Substance in an extraordinary way of conception And according to his Divinity which he plunged into the Abiss of Humane Miseries Yet he debased himself farther when he chose a Stable to be born in as the most Poor and Abject of Men Still more when he condescended to take the Badge of Sinners in his Circumcision But the lowest Abiss and center of annihilation was in the Chamber where he made the last Supper and where he did a thing that is the most humbling of all Humane Actions washing the Feet drying them kissing them with his adorable Lips and this even to the greatest of his Enemies and most wicked Miscreant that ever lived even to Judas O my Jesus this is too much debasing of your Grandeurs 't is too profound a Humiliation of your Majesty 'T is my duty who am a meer Nothing by the condition of my Being and become less than nothing by the enormity of my sins 't is my duty to annihilate my self under the feet of the vilest of Creatures What an intolerable Pride would it be in me if having seen the God of Majesty humbling himself so profoundly to give example and having heard him tell me so with his own mouth Exemplum dedi vobis ut vos it a faciatis I have given you an example that you should do so as you have seen me do What a Pride I say would it be in me to approach to your Communion without the Sentiments of the greatest Humility that I can possibly exhibit in any Action of my Life The second Action our Divine Master practiced when he instituted this great Sacrament was a sublime Prayer one of the most perfect as well as one of the last that he made in all his Life lifting up his Hands Eyes and Heart to God his Father by an Act of a most respectful Reverence And though he was himself his own Heaven where his Father reigned he recollects himself into this most Sacred Humanity as into a new Heaven and there addresses his Prayers to his Father who was present to him and his first Petition is Glorifie me O Father which is to say give me the joy of Humiliations and Opprobries of the Cross which I have so long desired and sighed after Teaching his Church to look upon Contempts and Crosses as her Glory and the greatest Honour she can desire upon Earth He demands also the Institution of this ineffable Mystery of the Holy Eucharist which he was going to make in obedience to his Eternal Will and Decree knowing that it was to be unto us a Fountain of Eternal Life and unto himself the beginning of a perpetual Death as continuing there in quality of a Sacrifice even to the consummation of the World It is my Duty therefore after his Example to prepare my Soul to receive his Divine Mysteries by the most pure and most perfect Prayer as God shall enlighten and inspire me The most assured is to apply ones self to him by a simple regard of Faith accompanied with Respect and Love considering him full of Graces full of Mercies and Blessings in this awful Mystery and that he comes unto us with all his riches and gives himself without any reserve even rendring himself in a manner passive for all the designs that he intends to accomplish within us whether he comes himself in person to operate there the marvellous effects of his Love This sole regard of Faith in its simplicity contains all the Perfections of other Acts. 'T is sufficient to have God by Regard unto him and by Love this is to attain to the end where the heart rests All other Exercises of Meditation and Practices of Interiour Virtues are but only means to arrive unto God when he is once found the Soul is to repose there and rest satisfied The third and most endearing Action that I admire in our Lord when he Instituted the Blessed Sacrament and when he made his Love appear in its greatest Lustre and in its most Ardent Fervour as well towards God the Father as towards Men even his Enemies When he comes into the World his Love is a rising Sun But when he comes to leave the World in the vigour of his Life and in the excess of Charity that he shew'd in dying for us he is a Sun in the heat of Noon day The Gospel tells us That having loved his own that were in the World he kindled the flames of his Charity and raised them to the highest point imaginable when he Instituted the Holy and adorable Sacrament In finem dilexit eos But that which is most inconceivable in it which the most of any thing demonstrates the eminence of his Charity is that he did not
to remain thus united is to do nothing for 't is the doing of all that God demands of us and the co-operating with him in the greatest work of Grace which is the Union of a Soul with the Divinity This Union is a repose of the Soul and it is found in several and different manners Sometimes it is diffus'd through all the Soul sometimes 't is only in the Superiour part thereof other while it restrains it self to the supream point of the Will and if the Soul be Faithful she does not considerably interrupt this Union For the trouble of the Interiour part or distractions of the imagination may indeed lessen the tranquility thereof but cannot destroy it The thing that weakens it the most and as it were smothers it are the Passions when violent Cares that touch one to the quick Troubles of mind Pleasures of Sense Wherefore one must be dead to all these and endeavour to die perpetually to them Another time Jesus entring into my Soul in Communion did not impart to it this Union so desirable but deprived it of it whether it were in punishment for her Imperfections or that he designed her at that time for other Imployments and required Exteriour Duties from her for the good of her Neighbour Her business was then to remain in Peace and to make a free offering of the most noble thing in the World to wit the enjoyment of God to God himself who takes an Infinite delight to see himself thus Honoured by his Creature And he is often pleas'd to be Glorified in this manner by perfect Souls and the Souls find themselves raised to a very sublime Purity by these sorts of Sacrifice wherein they renounce the most dear Caresses of God to abandon themselves more purely to God and to adhere to him only O how true is it that in the fund of the heart the most noble operations of Love are performed hidden from all the World and known to God alone Even the Soul it self does not know the Interiour Communications of God till after long experience which renders her self skilful in the secrets of the Super-natural Life whether neither Sense nor Reason can penetrate CHAP. VII The first Effect of Communion is to beget in us the Love of Crosses and Humiliations GOd in Himself and in his Eternity does nothing but Love Himself in contemplating his Divine Perfections For 't is his Essential occupation and he cannot but Love Himself and desire to be Beloved Wherefore since by the Hypostatical Union man is become God he takes upon him the same Sentiments the same Inclinations as God And by consequence Jesus Loves God as God Loves Himself and as he clearly saw that there is no way whereby God can be more Loved or more Honoured out of Himself than by Crosses and Annihilations which pay homage to the Grandeur of his Infinite Being he apply'd Himself to Love Crosses Sufferings and Contempt with all the Powers of his Soul Never man so passionately in Love with these things as Jesus Christ because never any one was transported with such Zeal as he to Love and Glorifie God his Father When therefore Jesus enters into us by the Holy Communion he brings with him all his Sentiments all his Inclinations particularly those which he affects most and desires to imprint them in our Souls for which purpose he gives himself to us under the form of nourishment because as the meat we take communicates to the Body all its principal qualities so he inspires the Soul withall its principal motions and operations And this is the reason that the oftner one Communicates the more one ought to be penetrated with the Sentiments and Inclinations of Jesus that is to say so much more one ought to Love Sufferings and Humiliations The property of the Communion which is the Living Bread which descended from Heaven is not to be changed into us as the inanimate Bread that comes from the Earth is but to change us into Himself And the Holy Communion should raise man above his Natural Love to lift him up to the Love of God and to a perfect union with his Will by Mortification and Destruction of Himself The most inward and most Perfect of all the Unions that a Creature can have with his God is the Personal or Hypostratical one which produced in the Sacred Humanity of Jesus a Love of the Cross and of the Poverty Insomuch that it was no sooner Divinely assumed but it was inflamed with the Love of Suffering and esteemed nothing next to the Divinity so worthy an bbject of Love as the Cross Now it is evident that we cannot arrive to any Union with God so much resembling the Hypostatical Union as that which we obtain by the Holy Communion Whence it follows that it ought to produce in us such Inclinations as very much resemble those which the Union Hypostatical produced in the Sacred Humanity that is to say it should incline us to Love the Cross Poverty Humiliations and all other manner of Sufferings O my Soul where are we How comes it about that we Communicate so often and feel still such repugnance to suffer Jesus Christ coming into us and as I may say again Incarnate in us would not he confer the most signal Grace of Love of the Cross if he found us well disposed to receive it He that Communicates often and yet is unwilling to suffer without doubt Communicates but imperfectly For he does not receive the principal effects of the Divine union which are to make us love what Jesus loved the most of any thing in the World O my God how long shall we live in the low Sentiments of Nature Give me to suffer or to die O my Soul be ashamed to live without Suffering for That methinks is to live without Love The Fruit which we gather from the Holy Communion is not discerned by abundance of sensible sweetness or by reception of much Light in the understanding but by a firm and vigorous resolution of the Will to suffer and to mortifie it self and the more one advances in Mortification the more one also increases in purity of Love Jesus who is the nourishment of our Love in Heaven where Love will be Infinitely pure is likewise the nourishment of our Love upon Earth in the Blessed Sacrament which by consequence ought to be Soveraignly pure I mean without any mixture of any thing that is not God But this cannot be without dying to all Creatures and even to our Selves and this Death is not compassed but by Mortification and all that which Crucifies Nature CHAP. VIII Continuation of the same Subject AFter Holy Communion it seemed to me that as Jesus received of his Divine Father the Fullness of Light and true Love in the Hypostatical Union so he makes his Friends partakers thereof in the Sacramental Union and thereby lays an obligation upon them to live by the same Life to guide themselves by the Light and to enter into a
Divinity repos'd with Infinite joy in the Humanity of Jesus Christ in his Suffering state And a Soul never loves more nor renders a greater homage to the Divine Perfections than by the Cross and Sufferings Sacrificing her self to Gods Interests and Glory This then is the Motto of a loving Soul Aut pati aut mori Jesus let me suffer or let me die CHAP. II. That we must have a Love for Crosses A Life without a Cross is a Life without Love This Saying too common among us That we must live an easie Life does not become the Lips of a Christian for 't is all one as to say We must live a Natural Sordid Life Next to the Divinity nothing is more amiable than the Cross of Christ We must either enjoy with the Divinity or suffer with the Humanity and the more we suffer with the one the more we shall enjoy with the other A Soul conducted by enjoyments must also participate of great Sufferings for these make those more sweet and pleasant We find by experience that the least contentment taken in Creatures does diminish Divine enjoyment and therefore the Saints have been severe to themselves so as to allow Nature only what is purely necessary by a resolute denyal even of Lawful Pleasures We too often enlarge the Law of necessity and indulge our selves in our Refections and Recreations and Accomodations Nature is content with little but the clamours of others and the fear of prejudicing our Health does us no small hurt in our way towards Perfection 'T is a sign we march couragiously in the way of the Cross when we find in our Souls such a Peace and Serenity that does not indeed hinder Nature to feel the bitterness of Sufferings but inspires with a generous resolution to embrace and cherish them looking upon them as special favours from Heaven notwithstanding the regrets of Nature to prove our Fidelity and advance our Glory It comes into my mind that to take away the bitter tast of Crosses we must sweeten them with several Sauces that is with different confiderations Sometimes by accepting from Gods hand with a Spirit of Pennance Other times with a Spirit of Sacrifice And then again with the Spirit of pure Love Sometimes to be conformable to Jesus Christ in his suffering state and besides to do the Will of God and submit our selves with all Humility to the Orders of his Divine and Sacred Providence Thus the Soul may make use of several considerations to sweeten the bitterness of Sufferings and so preserve a Love of the Cross among all the repugnances of Humane Nature When God designs to advance Divine Love in a Soul he affords her great occasions of Suffering by the order of his Providence and she contentedly embraces them though very bitter to sensual Nature Such favours are precious and we ought to manage them with Prudence and Councel 'T is very true what our Blessed Saviour says in the Gospel Multi sunt vocati pauci verò electi Many have calls to Perfection by Inspirations Lights and Motions of Grace And yet they arrive not to it for want of Fidelity and overmuch sparing themselves by too tender a love of their Body Goods Friends and Relations giving an ear more to Humane reason than the voice of Grace Sometimes we perswade our selves that Devotion is a Life full of Peace without Crosses but we deceive our selves nor ought we to enter into the Service of God without a disposition of Indifferency to all states to be mortified there not as we would have it but after what manner best pleases God Crosses from the immediate hand of God do much conduce to Sanctifie us but what arise from our vanity or too much love of the World are for the most part unprofitable and rather a hindrance to the Soul in her way to Perfection Suffer we must more or less and what pleases God we must accept of with contentation O how rare is it to find Souls truly amorous of Crosses I am of Opinion that the little love we have for Sufferings is the only cause we so little advance in the ways of Grace and if we well examine our selves we shall acknowledge it The love of Sufferings is quite repugnant to our Natural Inclinations but God can make that easie by Grace which is impossible to Nature and if we ask this great Grace as we ought we shall receive it as God has promised Neither does the Love of the Cross so much consist in great Corporal Austerities as embracing with an amorous generosity all those little Contradictions Mortifications and Humiliations we dayly meet withall either from others or our selves or by the secret orders of Divine Providence and to make good use of them for our Spiritual advantage is not the work of Nature but of Grace The more perfect our Virtue is the more we have a love for the Cross that we may be more conformable to our Blessed Saviour Know we not that they who will live Piously in Christ Jesus must suffer Persecution They shall suffer indeed on all sides from the Flesh from the Spirit from the World and God himself will try them with Afflictions This on earth is the high way to Heaven wherein Love must walk to come to Perfection which can never be gain'd without a labourious and couragious resolution CHAP. III. That we must have a great Love for Crosses WE must have a great Intellectual thirst to suffer all sorts of Crosses This is the Character of true Christians this is the Mark to know that Jesus Crucified is establish'd in us And this thirst ought to continue in us whatever our condition be because it much augments our Enjoyments and Consolations The more the Soul enjoyes the more she becomes thirsty not only of a more Savorous Union but also of a more heavy Cross Jesus Christ did thirst after his Passion for us and Dying on the Cross his thirst Increased being not quenched with all his Sufferings We say we ought to have the Image of Jesus Christ Crucified imprinted on our Souls and what is this but to have a thirst for Sufferings as he had O how the cup of affliction is pleasant to a Soul athirst for Sufferings When some great Cross happens to such a Soul she finds comfort and satisfaction therein as one enflamed with heat is refresh'd with Drinking God has a strange thirst for our Sufferings he is a thirst in us by the Fire of his Divine Love wherewith he loves himself and his Divine Perfections why do we not refresh him with our Sufferings But alas this Divine thirst is little known to men O how is it hidden from sensual eyes O Jesus how little are you known How little are you loved These Proceeding of Jesus are not understood by those who only follow the Light of Sense and Reason Emitte lucem tuam Whence once the Spiritual man discovers this nothing is more desirable to him then Suffering The great desire of the
true these are Crosses and Cruel Persecutions but if we bear them Faithfully with Love 't is a Martyrdom pleasing to God and profitable to us The Persecuting Tyrants tempted the Primitive Christians sometimes against their Faith sometimes against their Chastity which were Glorious Tryals of their Fidelity O how Blessed a thing is it to fight for that Faith and Fidelity we owe to God O what lovely Charms are there in this Martyrdom to those who behold them with the eye of Faith CHAP. V. Of Exteriour Crosses by the loss of Goods BEing in a Friends House who served God truly news was brought me that the Soldiers had ceas'd upon all my Goods at home and Blessed be God it little troubled me But rather I rejoyc'd and put my self into the Hands of God to do what he pleas'd with me preparing my Heart to undergo greater Losses contentedly I was much comforted by my Friend and I went home full of Joy and Cheerfulness accounting my self Happy that Divine Providence had brought me to Poverty and Abjection And I said with my self Courage my Soul our Blessed Saviour continues his Mercies Poverty and Abjection will afford us wings to flee to Perfection Behold now is the opportunity to make great Progress in Virtue if we be but Faithful It seem'd to me that at this time few Persons pityed me and yet they talk'd of my Affliction as no ordinary Tryal They blam'd me in some sort of Proceedings and after all I found my self an Abject and little considered I could never consent to the Councel of those who would have me either yield to anger or discontent For I always thought I ought not to part with that Meekness and Humility which becomes a Christian for the greatest Temporal loss that can happen to me I considered with my self that these little Crosses were hardly to be named with those that they suffer who are tormented with anguishes of Spirit or those who are Slaves under the Turk or such who are put to Death with grievous Tortures That which I suffer is nothing in comparison of those poor Creatures For I instead of being contristated by Suffering found a certain joy to possess my heart and a greater desire to suffer more Hereupon one told me That our Saviour sent me Crosses adorn'd with Flowers which though they took not away their heaviness yet their Odours did refresh and strengthen me to bear them This Persecution continuing I found my self always disposed to suffer it with great Interiour Peace and I kept my Soul from harbouring any thoughts of Bitterness against those who assisted my Plunderers I Saluted them with a Cordial Love although Nature had a repugnance to their Proceedings I beheld with contentment the Fall of our Family how our Friends did forsake us and some treat us very unworthily and yet I could not think it a misfortune but a signal favour from the hand of Providence And I did not complain but digest all this bitter Cup with Interiour joy O bona crux O good Cross The words of St. Andrew seem'd to me very true O how Crosses are good though full of Bitterness We ought to love what is good and make much of it In reality there 's an exquisite goodness in Sufferings and the Fruit of the Cross is wonderful Savorous For at last we shall find that the degrees of Glory shall be according to the measure of our Sufferings and degrees of Love I was then told some means how to get out of this Suffering condition Nature began to resent this with some joy but Grace repress'd it stifling this emotion of Nature that I might have no joy but in God alone and in the accomplishment of his good Pleasure CHAP. VI. Dispositions during Sickness where the Body suffer'd and the Soul rejoyced GOd has been pleas'd to make me enjoy during my Sickness an Interiour Peace so profound and great that I was altogether astonish'd at it considering my Miseries and former Transgressions I said within my self What is this that I find within me How comes it to pass that so miserable a Creature should be thus content and satisfied For my Soul was in a perfect calm from all her Passions feeling nothing but a pure and total union to the good pleasure of God and an absolute abandon of my self to the conduct of Divine Love It seemed to me that some dayes before this Sickness I was in a disposition of extraordinary Peace and Tranquility and one day after Dinner I was taken with a continual Feaver accompanied with much Head ach and Pains throughout all my Body But Divine Love methoughts continued his operations and set me all a flame with Holy Fires So that I often cryed out O Love O Love O Love And could say nothing else When I seem'd as a dying man my Friends weeping about me and every one saying I could hardly Recover my Soul beheld all this without being touched with any Sentiments of regret or tenderness for my Friends being wholly taken up with Divine Love which did so entirely unite me to the good Pleasure of God that methought I could never be seperated from it 'T was no part of my care to beg for my Life and one of my Friends proposing to send me some Reliques of Saints which had done Miraculous Cures I only thank'd him for though I have no small veneration for them yet I had no mind to make use of them for my Recovery but I would wholly put my self into the hands of Divine Love and leaving my self entirely to the conduct thereof whether for Life or Death for Time or Eternity In this extreme weakness of Body my Soul found her self Victorious and Triumphant to see that fall of Pain and her self full of Love and instead of being compassionate seem'd to me to smile at these Sufferings This was an extraordinary effect of Love that in this great weakness of Body my Soul kept up her strength and especially that the great Pains of my Head did not hinder her Interiour occupations This disposition of Love continued as long as my Sickness and I entertain'd my Friends with little consideration and I believe with too much talking fearing now to have discover'd then too much those Holy Fires that inflam'd my heart and that self-Self-love made me declare too freely my inward feelings My thoughts now make me suspect this defect but being inebriated with Love I said I know not what being like a drunken man that for a time forgets his Poverty and Miseries So in this disposition I forgot my Sins and extreme Frailties and cast my self into the Arms of Love that I might be united with my Well-beloved and enjoy his Reciprocal embraces I had a care to examine my conscience and confess my sins as a dying man and set in order my Temporal Affairs to pass to Eternity Finding my self not able to give much to the Poor it was a joy to me to die in Poverty and I was as well content to give
produce in her admirable effects To have tasted of them once or twice is sufficient to make her rich by infusing into her Understanding a certitude of the Mysteries of our holy Faith and inflaming the Will with ardent and solid affections to practise Virtue And thus she knows more of God in a Moment than before she did in many Months By these extraordinary Graces a Soul is more convinc'd and dispos'd to suffer Contempt and Poverty and leave all things to follow Christ than by a thousand discursive Meditations However God does not cease to communicate these effects by other wayes as by spiritual Lectures holy Conferences Meditations c. But when God is pleas'd to work all by himself in a Soul he does much for her in a little time One of the principal Virtues that this state imprints in the Soul is To draw her to God and keep her with him so that she 's more in Him than her self Divine Love being a weight that alwayes carries her to her Well-beloved Amor meus pondus meum If a great Prince should send some magnificent Present to one of his poor Subjects this would give him more Knowledge of his Prince's Royal Grandeurs and Bounty than to send him all the Oratours of his Realm to set forth his Greatness by their Eloquence So a Soul knows more of God by the aforesaid Favours than by the large Discourses of Famous Preachers These extraordinary Favours are not necessary to Salvation nor yet to Perfection but very advantagious to confirm us in Grace For these more special Communications work in the Soul this admirable Repose and sweet Calmness to dispose her for the Receipt of great Graces which bring her to a more intimate Union wherein she sucks from the Bosom of the Divinity a Sweetness ineffable Strengthening Purifying and Comforting When the Soul is not in this Quiet let her do what she can no endeavours of her can procure it If God sends it let us receive it if he send it not we must be patient and prepare our selves thereto by the exercise of Mortificacation and pure Virtue according to the Grace betstow'd upon us Having been in this Prayer of Quiet many days it seem'd to me to be taken from me for contesting a little with my Friend to perswade him to prevent another with a charitable courtesie O my God how nice and delicate a thing is Grace and the greater the Grace it is the more delicate I learn by this Substraction how poor a thing a Creature is how unable we are of our selves to retain Your Graces and to see that this also proceeds from Grace I will hereafter make it my work to love pure Virtue and practise perfect Mortification CHAP. XVII Of the intimate Vnion of the Love of the Soul with God in Prayer THe wonderful Secrets of this Disposition of the Soul in Prayer can hardly be expressed only we may call it The Prayer of Vnity of Love because herein the Will feels no other Love in her Affections than that which God has for Himself One only Love seems sufficient for God and the loving Soul it being enough for her to adhere to him with great Simplicity and Unity with this only Love which God has for his infinite Beauties and Perfections The particular Love of the Soul is absorpt like a Drop of Water in the infinite Ocean of his Love by a Union inexplicable and being so lost is found more perfect as a Spark of Fire in a little Coal cast into a Furnace gives a heat infinitely greater than what it had of it self alone It seems to the Soul that she does not love but God loves himself in her and in this manner her Will having such Impressions of the Divine Love has no other Sentiments nor Interiour Dispositions than those which God has for Himself When she loves God in this manner as he loves Himself she also hates Sin in the same manner as God hates it by this ineffable Union In this state of Prayer the Soul receives wonderful Discoveries of the admirable Wisdom of God in his Proceedings about the Redemption of Mankind by the Life and Death of his Son so full of Sufferings and Abjection God loving Himself cannot but love the Cross which satisfied his Justice and the Soul cannot but have a Will to suffer seeing she is in the Unity of Love with God which Unity must needs elevate the Soul above Nature And as the Soul of Jesus wholly absorpt in the Love of his Father did rejoyce in his Sufferings and Humiliations so if we be in the Unity of this Love Contempts and Mortifications Dolours and Death it self will be lovely and desireable though quite contrary to our Natural Inclinations This Vnity of Love does so powerfully constrain us to love Sufferings that I make little difference between Love and the Cross and I see so clearly that all the Counsels of Jesus Christ do so wonderfully advance the Purity of Love that no natural Aversion shall deterr me from them I find in my Heart a tacit Consent of Love to abandon my self to Divine Providence and not to disquiet my self about Perfection For I must pacify all the Emotions of my Heart as well good as bad to be in so profound a Peace as to attain this Union When God is pleased to communicate to a Soul this Purity of Love he disposes her to so great a Favour by some Sufferings Crosses and Humiliations He that knows the Riches of true Love knows these also for they are inseparable so that he who will not suffer cannot arrive to Purity of Love My Prayer then tends to unite me intimately and continually to the only Love wherewith God loves himself and my Soul has at present Attracts to nothing else In this Love it seems to her she finds the Practice of all Virtues in a more excellent manner than in themselves I know very well that Love is a weight that continually carries the Soul towards her beloved Object and my Will bending always towards God it moves thither by a longing Inclination full of Love and Sweetness It seems to me that my Understanding herein does not with its Lights assist my Will for I find my Affections all on fire and panting after God without any previous Illustrations I found me thought Divine Love immediately working on my heart by such most secret Touches as put me in a state of perfect Union I find nothing to explicate this better than a Needle touched by the Adamant which then turns continually by a secret Virtue to the Pole and is unquiet till there it fix Thus it stands with my Soul being touched I know not how by Divine Love having no repose but by fixing on God and parting with all Creatures she gently tends to her Divine Center without any Violence being sweetly attracted to a perfect Union My Understanding in this state sees well enough what passes in my Will and Affections but it seems to me to contribute
nothing to work this amourous Tendency towards God Not but that sometimes it presents some excellent Truths to quicken Love but yet that Truth was there without it I admire that after the Visits of Friends I alwayes find my will converted to God the only center of my Soul and I know not how this amourous Inclination is entertained and preserved in me I find by Experience that in this state my Soul is well dispos'd to practise all sorts of Virtues though she make thereof no formal Resolution After the Exercise of this Prayer the Soul is extreamly in love with Mortification and Self-denyal desiring nothing but God alone She understands also that she cannot persevere in this happy state without a constant Love of the Cross of which she daily becomes more amorous I begin this Exercise of Prayer without any other Preparation than Purity of heart as soon as I find my self in such a Disposition for God loving the Soul does sometimes prevent her before she perceives it I continue herein me thinks without any Industry or Trouble provided my Soul be but amorous of perfect Purity and faithful to the Practice of Mortification If I deeeive not my self God has been pleas'd to vouchsafe me this Mercy and it concerns me to be thankful and desire the Divine Goodness to assist me with his Grace that my Infidelities may not deprive me of this State and Favour CHAP. XVIII Of Interiour Silence where God speaks and is heard WE can never arrive to this Happy state of Interiour Silence where are the most secret Communications between God and the Soul except we pass through three tryals wherein we find much trouble and bitterness The first is the Death of the Exteriour Senses whereby all Sensible Objects become in a manner distastful to the Soul for as long as she does amuse her self with any Sensual Delights she can never arise to this Elevation This general Mortification is so difficult that the greatest part of Devotes suffer themselves to be conquer'd herein and pass no further The second is the Annihilation of the workings of their Interiour Senses wherein we have such difficulties to conquer that unless God who conducts Souls by his Divine Motions does strengthen them in this Combat and bring about this Interiour death by the secret workings of his Grace they will quickly loose courage in this attempt The third tryal is yet more laborious for we must mortifie the operations of our Spiritual Faculties the Memory Understanding and Will then which nothing is more difficult 'T is a long time before the Soul can understand how this must be done and longer before she can bring it about And except God be pleas'd to withdraw from the Soul those helps she receives from her own Lights and Affections she will never compass it In this Combat the Soul meets with a thousand Temptations As that we do but loose our time that 't is no better than pure idleness and much hinderance sometimes from Directors who having no experience of this way cannot understand it much less approve it Happy is the Soul that meets with a Director to strenghthen and encourage her in the difficulties of this passage otherwise she will never arrive to this Sacred Silence unless by some extraordinary Grace and Favour The Soul then thus dead and annihilated enters into this Sacred Silence the beginnings whereof are somewhat bitter though with a mixture of sweetness by a certain experience of the presence of God in the Soul Which being elevated above all natural Lights to behold God by the single Light of Faith is assisted by another Light that seems to participate of Faith and Glory For it has something of the Rayes of Glory Not that 't is really either this or that but a resemblance of them Wonderful are the effects which God produces in the Soul in this state of Interiour Silence For he deals with her as a Painter does with a Blank prepared for his Work where he draws divers lines as seems best to him God sometimes makes a silence in all the Powers of the Soul keeping them bound in the dark but in a disposition to do whatsoever he pleases with them The Spirit is a little busie to see what is doing but being check'd is quiet and the Soul having nothing to rely upon being annihilated in her self rests solely on God reposing her self in him with Patience and Humility Otherwhile God puts the Soul without any operation of her own in great repose and quiet neither willing nor applying her self to any thing in particular but in a readiness to do whatsoever God manifests to be his Will And this seems to me to be the most usual disposition of the Soul in the state of Interiour Silence At other times the Soul feels such a Fulness of God that she seems wholly to possess him insomuch that the Senses are partakers of the gusts and sweetness communicated to them the Soul in the Interim wholly Mortified by a constant readiness to be Sacrific'd to the Will of God At other times the Soul is wholly taken captive by Divine Love which giving her a relish of her Soveraign good all other things how excellent soever they may seem are but bitter to her The understanding here makes no use of the Light of Reason but God is pleas'd to infuse certain manifestations quick and suddain which work so secretly such changes in the Soul that she cannot perceive 'till they are done At other times when the Soul is in doubt or troubled with some disorder or discourag'd by her own weakness she finds God showing himself present with her to instruct to quicken to strengthen to succour her according to her present necessities The Soul in this state is disposed to whatsoever God pleases desires nothing required of her God works his will in her and she is Humble and Faithful and altogether submissive and plyable to his operations Thus the Soul must stand affected in respect of God but she can never come to this without great Combates continual Deaths and long Sufferings However all the Crosses can be endured in this World are but a cheap rate to purchase the enjoyment of God but for a moment In this state of Interiour silence the Soul cannot prescribe any Law to her self in her Spiritual Exercises but wait with all Humility to receive what God shall give her and be Faithful in corresponding thereto Sometimes she Suffers sometimes she Acts either in this or that manner according to the Nature of the Divine Impressions CHAP. XIII Of most Purified Contemplation ON St. Alexius's Day our Saviour gave me knowledge of a state of Prayer wherein at present I must constantly exercise my self as some Servants of God advise me but the reason they tell me I understand not My Prayer then is a denudation of all Creatures where the Soul as it seems to her does nothing but enter into possession of God in a peculiar manner who works in her what
the Will of God If I have not a great care the Devil will deceive me and make me delay to my own ruine CHAP. XX. Of the different Caresses God vouchsafes a Soul in Prayer THose who practise Prayer know by Experience that God unites Himself to the Soul in different manners all most intimate most pure and full of Sweetness Oftentimes by the pleasing Attractions of his Goodness and Mercy so delightful to the Soul that for the time she in a manner enjoys a Heaven upon Earth Sometimes God unites Himself to the Soul by the Rigours of his Justice trying her with interiour and exteriour Sufferings so that only the supreme part of the Soul remains united to God the inferiour part being in a Suffering condition Sometimes God unites himself to the Soul by his Sanctity his Bounty Power and other Perfections and to the end all these Unions may be pure it suffices that the Soul render her self passive to the Operations of God in her whether sweet or bitter comforting or afflicting with Respect and Affection 'T is observable that to live this Divine Life it is not necessary to find no Repugnance from sensual Nature it suffices if we continue firm in this state by the Superiour part whether Grace could only advance us and where we cannot subsist but by being dead to all Creatures He that will live this life must resolve to suffer All the Interiour Commerce between God and the Soul passes principally in the Will the Understanding is not so capable thereof but the Will receives the more intimate more pure and more perfect Communications being more proper for it The Understanding herein is more lyable to Illusions the Will is more assured in her way and the Devil cannot counterfeit what passes in her in the feelings of pure Love For the Soul that has experience of the effects of pure Love cannot easily be deceived From hence it comes that the Purity of the Will is the principal Disposition for the Prayer of Vnion be it ordinary or more sublime by the powerful influences of preventing Grace This Purity is altogether necessary God being not pleased to work these Wonders but in a purified Soul And this Purity consists in willing nothing but Gods good pleasure being dead to all other things contenting her self with the orders of Providence God finding the Soul thus purified especially in her Will takes up his mansion in her Interiour where he exercises his Divine Operations putting her into divers states acording to the different Designs he has upon her Sometimes he is pleased to inflame her Affections with Divine Love and to kindle this holy fire in her Breast manifests to her his Divine Perfections Other times he puts her upon the Cross and exercises his Justice for her greater good Sometimes he hides himself the more to purify her and make her dye to whatever is not God Otherwhile he gives her Councels to advance her in Perfection and then if she has not been faithful to his motions he gives her interiour Checks of Conscience Sometimes he enlightens her Understanding to enflame her Will and the Soul being retired within her self finds her Divine Bridegroom working something in her to which she is to be purely passive and adhere in all simplicity of heart to his gracious Operations Being thus retired into the Cabinet of her Heart she is elevated above her self and all Creatures and being united to God though he send her Sufferings she is not taken up with them but Divine Love she feels his Caresses is inricht with his Gifts and imploys all her Intellectual Powers to Love and Glorify her Well-beloved Here is her ordinary abode from whence she descends not to her inferiour part but for necessity and enjoying the Embraces of her Divine Bridegroom she adheres to him by pure Faith and Love without being diverted by her Imagination in intellectual Contemplation I cannot but think that a Mistress of a House that had a King and Queen in her Closet willing to converse with her would have a care not to divert her self by other matters and quit them to wash dishes in the Kitchen What strange Incivility would this be yea what Infidelity would it be in a Soul that is honoured with the Presence of God in the Cabinet of her Heart to have her near himself to converse with her and to ravish her with these Spiritual Delights which are ineffable Souls that are thus favour'd of God if they quit him for exteriour Imployments and temporal affairs neglecting the Presence of the King of Glory for some inconsiderable Business by this strange Neglect or Contempt of his special Favours must needs be guilty of deep Ingratitude O my Soul be thou faithful to the Divine Calls thou art too much favour'd of God considering thy too frequent not complying with his Graces He calls thee to himself his Attracts are powerful and sweet let us quit Temporal things and leave them to who will take them fear not we shall want nothing having God in possession If Divine Providence dispense to us with so liberal a hand the great Favours of God's Spiritual Graces let us not think he will deny us his lesser blessings which concern the Body and are as nothing in comparison Let us betake our selves to Prayer and never leave it for that is our great and sole Affair The End of the Seventh Book BOOK VIII Some Maxims of great Importance to conduct us in a Spiritual Life CHAP. I. To have above all things an extreme Horrour of Sin THere is nothing of greater Concern to us in this World than to manage well our Love and Hatred to which Passions our Will principally owes her Motions Our Love ought wholly to be fixt on God who is an infinite Good and our final Happiness Our hatred ought to have no other Object but Sin which is an infinite evil and utter ruine of our Souls Love makes all things easie and what is done with great Love is of great value in the sight of God Who knows to love cordially knows how to do whatever God requires of him seeing Love includes in it all Perfection Hatred also makes all things easy for from a torrent of Hatred commonly flows an inundation of evils He who really and from his heart hates an infinite Evil that is Sin will be reveng'd on himself by severe Penance and fly from it with such a Horrour and Detestation that he would sooner cast himself alive into Hell than commit a Sin that breaks Friendship with God A Soul that sees clearly the enormous Malignity of Sin and how it fights against the great God of Heaven and Earth to annihilate Him if it was possible will easily conceive an implacable Hatred against Sin and abhorr it to the utmost with an irreconcileable Enmity knowing well that Sin can only separate her from God her final Happiness This hatred ought to possess the Soul with permanency and such extensions as not only to preserve her from
Graces and Gifts from God ought not to rejoyce in the abundance of such Favours but her whole content ought to be in the pleasure that God takes to be so bountiful to his Creatures so unworthy of his Blessings Wretched is that man who has less care of his Soul than his Body loving more to follow the Inclinations of Sensuality than the Inspirations of Grace Wretched is he who is all for the good things of this Life a good House good Apparel good Provision c. and is content to have a bad Soul Wretched is he who by his vitious Course of Life makes himself the most contemptible thing of his whole Family For he who forsakes God to follow his Sensuality is in worse state than the meanest Creature O sad condition Believe 't is far more easy to command our Passions than obey them to conquer our natural Inclinations than to satisfy them and therefore more pleasant to walk in the wayes of Salvation than Perdition 'T is a wonderful Punishment to suffer the continual Lashes of a guilty Conscience an unspeakable Torment to have our Hearts always terrified with the Judgement of God hanging over our Heads with the fears of Death which is uncertain and the horrours of Hell which cannot be avoided by such who neglect the Service of God and die in their sins To become slaves to the World and our passions and vicious Inclinations most cruel and ungrateful Tyrants and to have no repose nor contentment not one only moment of true solid joy is to suffer a Hell in time before that of Eternity We shall find nothing to be compared to the way of Heaven the yoak of our Blessed Saviour is Easie his Burden Light his Will is Lovely his Helps are Powerful and the Consolations wherewith he refreshes the Souls of his Servants so abundant that they are far more Happy with their Crosses than Carnal Men with all their Worldly Delights and Pleasures CHAP. VI. How to Comport our selves well in Superiority JEsus be your Light and your guide and your support in Superiority To be in this condition seems to some troublesome and insupportable because things do not succeed as they desire but believe themselves to be a hindrance to the increase of Grace in the Souls of their Subjects who might have been better govern'd by a Person more capable and advanc'd in Perfection 'T is indeed well said and the pretence is specious and yet notwithstanding all this may proceed from self-Self-love and desire of our own excellence Prostrate thy self at the feet of Jesus Christ and if he dart into thy Soul Divine Irradiations thou wilt discover the Truth of what I have said herein That little resignation we have to the Ordinations of God create these troubles in us God only expects from us such a certain measure of Glory and we are for rendring more than he requires of us 'T is our Happiness not to conform our wills to Gods good Pleasure touching the manner of Glorifying himself what pleases him does not content us He will have us glorifie Him by Suffering and we are for Action We are for giving Alms and He for receiving in a word we do not entirely conform our selves to the pure will of God We ought not to perplex and disquiet our selves with the Defects and Imperfections of those with whom we live and are under our charge They are Mortal and infirm Creatures and not Angels and to expect they should be faultless is to look for Impossibilities and flatter our Impatience which would have no occasion of displeasure This is but to afflict our selves for the loss of our own esteem which appears by our ill conduct in such small matters And yet we pretend only to seek Gods Honour and the good of Souls Those who truly seek the Glory of God sometimes are troubled but 't is a displeasure joyn'd with Peace and Tranquility yea abounding with influences of Heaven and Divine Love A displeasure that rather increases than takes away the Peace of the Soul and disposes her to a perfecter union with God and to the practice of all Christian Virtues I know no better means to be humbled in our own eyes and in the sight of others than the miscarriages that arrive by our manifold Imperfections If I do a good Action for which others think the worse of me I shall not seem so to my self But if I shall fall into a gross Imperfection which neither I nor others discover how shall I be ashamed and learn thereby a lesson of Mortification When Nature is surpriz'd and as it were amaz'd to see her own Frailties what prop can she find to uphold her Ambition She must needs be humbled by this means and so draws much good from evil Who are we that we should presume to think that out pains and industry can add any thing to augment God's Glory Know we not that he is Self-sufficient by reason of his Infinite Perfections and therefore so replenish'd with his own Glory that all the Glory Creatures can render to him is nothing in comparison Alas the greatest Saints in this respect can truly say they are unprofitable Servants All Creatures are oblig'd to serve their Creator 't is their Duty and not to do it makes them guilty but this brings no profit to God who is no less nor more Happy in Himself thereby but only from hence it proceeds that he bestows on his Servants great and glorious rewards For my part I would never afflict my self nor be discourag'd for not doing all the good I desire and ought to do in the charge incumbent on me but instead of being troubled with my own Insufficiency I would rejoyce in the All-sufficiency of God O my God what complacency do I take to see you so Rich and so All-sufficient I am well content with my weaknesses seeing they make it more evident that you stand not in need of your Creatures O beautiful Sun enrich'd with an Infinite Light live Happy in your self absorp'd in your own Beams nothing can alter your Felicity For all the Sins of Men or Devils though they offend you yet do not hurt you no more than dirt cast against the Sun would darken his Splendors in his High-noon Glory When I consider the defects in my self and the faults I have not hindred in others either for want of zeal or capacity I will exercise my mind in such Thoughts as these O my God your Beauty is not Sullied hereby nor your Glory darken'd nor your Mercies diminished I know 't is my Duty to be sorry for what Sins offend your Majesty But likewise I ought to rejoyce that you are immutable in your self and your Blessedness cannot be disturb'd by our Iniquities CHAP. VII That we ought to have our Intentions Purified from all Self-Interest THe Soul that seeks purely to please God ought to be content with all designs of Providence whatsoever whether of Mercy or Justice giving her self up wholly into the hands of