hart More mortallie than his vnsparing dart Brother Let me speake for the Boy Ing. To what end loue No I will sue to him to follow me Introth I loue thy sweet condition And may liue to informe thy Lady of thee Come in drie drie thine eies respit thy woe The effects of causes crowne or ouerthrow Enter Lo. PROVD Lo. FEESIM WEL-TRI'D Ma. SELDOME WIDD BOVLD pinning in a Ruffe WIFE Proud S'light what should be become of her you sweare she past not forth of dores and i' th house she is not Widd. Did you not see her Princox Proud This same Bawd has brought her letters from some yonger brother and she is stole away Bould Bawd I defie you indeed your Lordship thinkes you may make Bawds of whom you please I 'le take my oath vpon a booke since I met her in the necessarie house i' th morning I ne're set eye on her Grace Shee went not out of dores Proud Sure shee has an inuisible ring Feesi Marrie she 's the honester woman for some of their ring are visible enough the more shame for them still say I let the pond at Islington be search't goe to there 's more haue drown'd themselues for loue this yeare then you are aware of Proud Pish you are a foole Welt. S'hart call him foole againe Feesi. By this light and I will as soone as euer you haue shew'd me the Swaggerers Wife Her clothes are all younder my Lord Grace And euen those same she had on to day Proud Madam where is your Husband Wife Rid into the Countrie Feesi. O' my conscience rid into France with your sister Omnes Away away for shame Feesi. Why I hope she is not the first Ladie that has run away with other womens husbands Welt. It may be shee 's stolne out to see a play Proud Who should goe with her man Wid. Vpon my life you 'll heare on her at Master Ingens house some loue past betwixt them and we heard that he was married to day to another Proud S'hart I le go see Exit Proudly Welt. Come to the Swaggerers Exeunt Feesi Welt. Feesi. Mercy vpon me a man or a Lord now Omnes Heere 's a quoile with a Lord and his sister Wid. Princox hast not thou pin'd in that Ruffe yet ah how thou fumblest Bould Troth Madam I was ne're brought vp to it t' is Chamber-maids work and I haue euer liu'd Gentlewoman And beene vs'd accordingly Exeunt Actus tertius Enter HVSBAND and SVBTLE Subt. SHee 's a rare wife beleeue it Sir were all such Wee neuer should haue false inheritors Husb. Pish friend there is no woman in the world Can hould out in the end If youth shape wit Met in one subiect doe assault her aptlie For fayling once you must not faint but trie Another way the path of womens minds Are crooked and diuerse they haue by-waies To leade you to the Pallace of their pleasures And you must wooe discreetely first obserue The disposition of her you attempt If shee be sprightly and heroicall Possesse her that you are valiant and haue spirit Talke nothing but of beating euery man That is your hinderance though you doe not doe it Or dare not t' is no matter Be shee free And of a liberall soule giue bounteously To all the seruants let your angels flye About the roome although you borrow'd 'em If shee be wittie so must your discourse Get wit what shift so'ere you make for it Though 't cost you all your land and then a song Or two is not amisse although you buy 'em There 's many in the Towne will furnish you Subt. But still I tell you you must vse her roughly Beate her face black and blew take all her cloth's And giue them to some Punke this will be ground For me to worke vpon Husb. All this I haue done I 〈…〉 her now as bare that should I die Her fortune ô my conscience would be To marrie some Tobacco-man shee has nothing But an old black-woorke wastcote which would serue Exceeding wel to fit i' th shop and light Pipes for the lowzie Footmen and sweete friend First heere 's a jewell to present her then Heere is a Sonnet writ against my selfe Which as thine owne thou shalt accost her with Farewell and happie successe attend thee Exit Subt. Ha ha ha he reads Faire'd still wilt thou be true To a man so false to thee Did be lend a Husbands due Thou did'st owe him loyaltie But will curses wants and blowes Breed no change in thy white soule Be not a foole to thy first vowes Since his breach doth thy faith controle No beautie else could be so chast Thinke not thou honour'st women then Since by thy conscience all disgrac't Are rob'd of the deare loues of men Then grant me my desire that vow to proue A reall husband his adulterate loue Tooke euer man more paines to be a Cuckold Oh! monstrous age where men themselues we see Studie and pay for their owne infamie Exit Enter INGEN MAID PROVDLY BROTHER like a woman swords drawen Proud Giue me my sister I le haue her forth thy heart Ing. No earthly Lord can pull her out of that Till he haue pluckt my heart first out my Lord Wer 't not inhospitable I could wrong you heere In mine owne house I am so full of woe For your lost sister that by all my ioyes Hop't for in her my heart weepes teares of bloud A whiter virgine and a worthier Had ne're creation Leda's Swan was black To her virginitie and immaculate thoughts Proud Where hast thou hid her giue her me againe For by the God of vengeance be she lost The female hate shall spring betwixt our names Shall neuer die while one of either house Suruiues our children shall at seuen yeares olde Strike kniues in one another Ing. Let Hell gape And take me quick if I know where she is But am so charg'd with sorrow for her losse Being one cause of it as no doubt I am That I had rather fal vpon my sword Offering to kill himselfe Then breath a minute longer Broth. Oh sir hold Proud Thou shalt not neede I haue a sword to bathe In thy false blood inhumane murderer Maid Good Sir be pacified I 'le goe I 'le run Many a mile to finde your sister out Shee neuer was so desperate of grace By violence to rob her selfe of life And so her soule in danger comfort Sir Shee 's but retir'd somewhere on my life Ing. Preethee let me alone To his Brother Doe I stand to defend that wretched life That is in doubt of hers heere worthy Lord Behold a breast fram'd of thy sisters loue Hew it for thou shalt strike but on a stock Since she is gone that was the cause it liu'd Proud Out false dissembler are not married Ing. No behold it is my yonger brother drest Plucks off his headtir A man no woman that hath guld the world Intended for a happier euent Than this that follow'd that she now is
Amends for Ladies WITH THE HVMOVR OF RORING A COMEDIE As it was acted at the Blacke Fryers both by the PRINCES Seruants and the Lady ELIZABETHS By Nat Field LONDON Printed by G. Eld for Math. Walbancke and are to be sold at his Shop at the new Gate of Grayes-Inne or at the old 1618 AMENDS FOR LADIES A COMEDIE Actus primi Scaena prima Enter the Lady HONOR the Lady PERFECT the Lady BRIGHT Maid A Wife the happiest state It cannot be Wife Yes such a wife as I that haue a man As if my selfe had made him such a one As I may iustly say I am the rib Belonging to his brest Widow and Maide Your liues compar'd to mine are miserable Though wealth and beautie meete in each of you Poore virgin all thy sport is thought of loue And meditation of a man the time And circumstance ere thou canst fixe thy thoughts On one thy fancy will approue Maid That trouble already may be past Wife Why if it be The doubt hee will not hold his brittle faith That he is not a competible choise And so your noble friends will crosse the match Doth make your happinesse vncertaine still Or say you marryed him what hee would proue Can you compare your state then to a Wife Maide Nay all the freedome that a virgin hath Is much to be preferr'd Who would endure The humours of so insolent a Thing As is a husband Which of all the Heard Runs not possessed with some notorious vice Drinking or whoring fighting Iealousie Euen of a Page at twelue or of a Groome That rubs horse-heeles Is it not daily seene Men take wiues but to dresse their meate to wash And starch their linnen for the other matter Of lying with them that 's but when they please And whatsoere the ioy be of the bed The pangs that follow procreation Are hideous or you wiues haue guld your husbands With your loud shrikings and your deathfull throes A Wife or Widow to a Virgins life Widow Why should the best of you thinke yee inioy The rest and rule that a free widow doth I am mine owne commander and the blisse Of wooers and of each varietie Frequents me as I were a maide No Brother Haue I to dice my patrimony away as you My maiden Madame may No husbands death Stand I in doubt on for thankes be to heauen If mine were good the grieuous losse of him Is not to come if hee were bad hee 's gone And I no more embrace my iniury But be yours ill you nightly claspe your hate Or good why he may dye or change his vertue And thou though single hast a bed-fellow As bad as the worst husband thought of one And what that is men with their wiues do doe And long expectance till the deed be done A wife is like a garment vsde and torne A maide like one made vp but neuer worne Maide A widow is a garment worne thred-bare Selling at second hand like Brokers ware But let vs speake of things the present time Make happy to vs and see what is best I haue a seruant then the crowne of men The fountaine of Humanitie the prize Of euery vertue Morall and Diuine Young valiant learned well-borne rich and shap'd As if wise Nature when she fashioned him Had meant to giue him nothing but his forme Yet all additions are conferr'd on him That may delight a woman this same youth To me hath sacrific'd his heart yet I Haue checkt his suite laught at his worthy seruice Made him the exercise of my crueltie Whilst constant as the Sunne for all these clouds His loue goes on Enter INGEN Widow Peace here 's the man you name Wife Widow Wee 'll stand aside Ing. Good morrow to the glory of our age Meeting the 〈…〉 The Lady Perfect and the Lady Bright The vertuous wife and widow but to you The Lady Honor and my Mistresse The happinesse of your witnes Maid By this light I neuer heard one speake so scuruily Vtter such stale wit and pronounce so ill But to you My Lady Honor and my Mistresse The happinesse of your wishes Ingen. Stop your wit You would faine shew these Ladies what a hand You hold ouer your seruant T' shall not neede I will expresse your tyranny well enough I haue lou'd this Lady since I was a childe Since I could construe Amo now she saies I doe not loue her 'cause I doe not weepe Lay mine armes ore my heart and weare no garters Walke with mine eyes in my hat sigh and make faces For all the Poets in the towne to laugh at Poxe a this howling loue ti 's like a dogg Shut out midnight Must loue needs be poudred Lie steept in brine or will it not keepe sweet Is it like beefe in sommer Maid Did you euer Heare one talke fustian like a Butcher thus Ingen. T' is foolish this same telling folkes we loue It needs no words t' will show it selfe in deeds And did I take you for an entertainer A Lady that will wring one by the finger Whil'st on anothers toes shee treads and cries By Gad I loue but one and you are hee Either of them thinking himselfe the man I 'de tell you in your eare put for the busines Which graunted or denied Maddam God bye Maid Come these are daily slaunders that you raise On our infirme and vnresisting Sexe You neuer met I am sure with such a Lady Ingen. Oh many by this light I haue seene a Chamber Frequented like an office of the Law Clients succeede at midnight one another Whilst the poore Maddam Filth beene so distrest Which of her Loues to show most 〈…〉 That his dull Husband ha's perceiu'd her wiles Maid Nay perhaps taught her many of those Husbands Are base enough To liue vpon 't Ingen. I haue seene another of 'em Cheat by this light at Cardes and set her women To talke to the Gentlemen that plaid That so distracted they might ouer see Maid Oh fie vpon yee I dare sweare you lie Ingen. Doe not faire Mistresse you will be for sworne Maid You men are all soule mouth'd I warrant you Talke thus of me and other Ladies here Because we keepe the Cittie Ingen. Oh prophane That thought would damne me will you marrie yet Maid No I will neuer marry Ingen. Shall we then Couple vnlawfully for indeed this marrying Is but proclaming what we meane to doe Which may be done priuatly in ciuill sort And none the wiser and by this white hand La The wrack Strapado or the boiling boote Should neuer force me tell to wrong your honor Maid May I beleeue this Ingen. Let it bee your Creed Maid But if you should proue false Nay ne'er vnhang Your sword except you meane to hang your selfe Why where haue you beene drinking sfoot you talke Like one of these same rambling boies That raigne in Turnebull-street Ingen. How doe you know Maid Indeed my knowledge is but speculatiue Not practique there I haue it by Relation From such
obseruers as your selfe deare Seruant I must professe I did thinke well of thee But get thee from my sight I neuer more Will heare or see thee but will hate thee deadly As a man enemy or a woman turn'd Enter Widdow Wife Ladies come forth see Sir what Curtesie You haue done to mee a strange praise of you Had newly left my lips iust as you entred And how you haue deseru'd it with your carriage Villain thou hast hurt mine honor to these friends For what can they imagine but some ill Hath past betwixt vs by thy broad discourse Were my case theirs by Virgin Chastity I should condemne them hence depart my sight Ingen. Madam but here mee oh that these were men And durst but say or thinke you ill for this I haue so good a cause vpon my side That I would cut their hearts out of their brests And the thoughts out of them that iniur'd you But I obay your best and for my pennance Will run a course neuer to see you more And now I loose you may I loose the light Since in that beauty dwelt my day or night Exit Ingen Widd. Is this the vertuous youth Wife Your happines Widd. Wherein you thought your seat so far 'boue ours Maid If one man could be good this had beene hee Enter SVBTLE HVSBAND FEESIMPLE WEL-TRID See here comes all your sutors and your Husband And roome for Laughter heer 's the Lord Feesimple What Gentlewoman do's hee bring along Enter HVSBAND embracing SVBTLE the Lord FEE-SIMPLE with young BOVLD like a waiting Gentlewoman VVEL-TRID HVSB SVBTLE talke with WIFE Fees One and thirty good-morrows to the fairest wisest chastest richest VViddow that euer conuersation coapt withall Widd. Three score and two vnto the wisest Lord That euer was train'd in vniuersitie Feesimp. Oh Curteous bounteous Widow shee ha's out-bid me 31. Good morrowes at a clap Welt. But my Lord Feesimple you forgot the busines impos'd on you Fees Gentlewoman I crie thee mercie but ti 's a fault in all Lords not in mee only we doe vse to sweare by our Honors and as we are Noble to dispatch such a businesse for such a Gentleman and wee are bound euen by the same Honors wee sware by to forget it in a quarter of an houre And looke as if wee had neuer seene the Partie when wee meete next especially if none of our Gentlemen haue bin considered Welt. I but all your's haue for you keepe none my Lord Besides though it stands with your Honor to forget mens businesses yet it stands not with your Honor if you doe not doe a womans Feesi. Why then Maddam so it is that I request your Ladiship to accept into your seruice this Gentlewoman for her truth honestie I will be bound I haue knowne her too long to be deceiu'd this is the second time I haue seene her Maid Why how now my Lord a preferrer of Gentlewomen to seruice like an old knitting woman where hath Shee dwelt before Feesi. Shee dwelt with young Boulds sister hee that is my Corriuall in your Loue she requested me to aduance her to You for you are a dub'd Lady so is not shee yet Welt. But now you talk of yong Bould when did you see him Lady Wid. Not this month Maister Well-tri'd I did coniure him to forbeare my sight Indeed swore if he came I l'd be denied But t is strange you should aske for him yee two were wont neuer to be asunder Welt. Faith Maddam we neuer were together but wee differd on some argument or other And doubting least our discord might at length Breed to some quarrell I forbeare him to Fees He quarrell Bould hang him if he durst haue quarrel'd the world knowes hee 's within a mile of an oke ha's put him too 't and soundly I neuer car'd for him in my life but to see his sister hee 's an asse pox an arrant asse for doe you thinke any but an arrant asse would offer to come a wooing where a Lord atempts he quarrell hee dares not quarrell Welt. But hee dares fight my Lord vpon my knowledge And raile no more my Lord behind his back For if you doe my Lord bloud must insue Drawes Fees Oh oh my honor dies I am dead Welt. Vd'slight what 's the matter wring him by the nose Wild. A paire of riding spurs now were worth gold Maid Pins are as good prick him prick him Feesim. Oh oh Wife Hee 's come againe lift him vp Omnes How fares your Lordship Fees Oh friends you haue wrong'd my spirit to call it backe I was ee'n in Elizium at rest Welt. But why sir did you sowne Feesi. Well though I die Maister Wel-tri'd before all these I doe forgiue you because you were ignorant of my infirmitie oh sir i' st not vp yet I die againe put vp now whil'st I winke or I doe winke for euer Welt. Ti 's vp my Lord ope your eies but I pray tell mee Is this antipathie twixt bright steele and you naturall or how grew it Feesi. I l'e tell you sir any thing bright and edg'd works thus strongly with me your hilts now I can handle as boldlie looke you else Knight Nay neuer blame my Lord Maister Well-tri'd for I know a great manie will sowne at the sight of a shoulder of mutton or a quarter of Lambe my Lord may be excus'd then for a naked sword Welt. This Lord and this knight in dogge-collers would make a fine brace of beagles Maid But on my faith 't was mightily ouerseene of your father not to bring you vp to foyles or if hee had bound you Prentise to a Cutler or an Ire-monger Fees I a poxe hang him old gouty foole he neuer brought me vp to any Lordly exercise as fencing dancing rumbling and such like but forsooth I must write and reade speake languages and such base qualities fit for none but Gentlemen Now sir would I tell him Father you are a Count I am a Lo a poxe a writing and reading and languages let mee be brought vp as I was borne Subtle But how my Lord came you first not to indure the sight of steele Feesi. Why I 'le tell you Sir when I was a child an infant an Innocent Maid T' was e'ne now Fees I being in the kitchin in my Lo my fathers house the Cooke was making minc'd pyes so sir I standing by the Dresser there lay a heape of plums Here was hee mincing what did mee I sir being a notable little witty coxcombe but popt my hand iust vnder his chopping knife to snatch some Reysins and so was cut ore the hand and neuer since could I endure the sight of any edge-toole Wid. Indeede they are not fit for you my Lord and now you are all so well satisfied in this matter pray Ladies how like you this my Gentlewoman Maid In troth Maddam exceeding well I if you be prouided pray let me haue her Wife It should be my request but that I am full Wid. What
can you doe What 's her name my Lord Fees Her name I know not What 's her name Mr. Well-try'd Weltr. Her name slid tell my Lady your name Bould Mistresse Mary Princox forsooth Wid. Mistresse Mary Princax she has wit I perceiue that already Mee thinkes she speakes as if she were a my Lords brood Bould Brood Maddame 't is well knowne I am a Gentlewoman My father was a man of 500. per annum and hee held something in Capite too Welt. So does my Lord something Fees Nay by my troth what I hold in capite is worth little or nothing Bould I haue had apt breeding how euer my misfortune now makes me submit my selfe to seruice but there is no ebbe so low but hath his tyde againe when our dayes are at worst they will mend in spight of the frowning Destinies For wee cannot be lower then earth and the same blinde Dame that hath cast her bleare eyes hitherto vpon my occasions may turne her wheele and at last winde them vp with her white hand to some pinnacle that prosperously may flourish in the Sunne-shine of promotion Fees Oh mouth full of agilitie I would giue 20. Markes now to any person that could teach mee to conuey my tongue sance stumbling with such dexteritie to such a period For her truth and her honesty I am bound before but now I haue heard her talke for her wit I will be bound body and goods Wid. V'dslight I will not leaue her for my hood I neuer met with one of these eloquent old Gentlewomen before What age are you Mistresse Mary Princox Bould I will not lye Maddam I haue numbred 57. Summers and iust so many winters haue I past Subt. But they haue not past you they lye forzen in your face Bould Maddam if it shall please you to entertaine me so if not I desire you not to misconstrue my good will there 's no harme done the doore 's as big as it was and your Ladiships owne wishes crowne your beauty with content As for these frumping Gallants let them doe their worst it is not in mans power to hurt mee 't is well knowne I come not to be scoff'd A woman may beare and beare till her backe burst I am a poore Gentlewoman and since vertue has now a dayes no other companion but pouerty I set the Hares head against the Goose giblets and what I want one way I hope I shall be inabled to supply the other Fees A' nt please God that thou wert not past children Wid. I st e'ne so my Lord nay good Princox do not crie I doe entertaine you how doe you occupie what can you vse Bould Any thing fit to be put into the hands of a Gentlewoman Wid. What are your qualities Bould I can sleepe on a low stoole if your Lady-ship be talking in the same roome with any Gentle-man I can reade on a booke sing loue songs looke vp at the loouer light heare and be deafe see and be blind be euer dumb to your secrets sweare and equiuocate and whatsoeuer I spie say the best Wid. Oh rare Croane how art thou endu'd but why did Master Boulds sister put you away Bould I beseech you Madame to neglect that desire though I know your Lady-ships vnderstanding to be sufficient to partake or take in the greatest secret can be imparted yet Wid. Nay prithie tell the cause come heer 's none but freinds Bould Faith Madame heigh ho I was to confesse truly a little foolish in my last seruice to beleeue mens oaths but I hope my example though preiudiciall to my selfe will be beneficiall to other yong Gentle-women in seruice my mistresses brother the Gentle-man you nam'd e' now master Bould hauing often attempted my honor but finding it impregnable vow'd loue and marriage to me at the last I a yong thing and raw being seduced set my minde vpon him but friends contradicting the match I fell into a greiuous consumption and vpon my first recouerie least the intended sacred ceremonies of Nuptials should succede his sister knowing this thought it fit in her iudgement we should be farther a sunder and so put me out of her seruice Omnes Ha ha ha Wid. God a mercie for this discouerie ifaith Oh man what art thou when thy cock is vp come wil your lordship walke in t is dinner time Enter hastily M. Seldome with papers on his arme Omnes Whos 's this whos 's this Maid This is our Land-lord Master Seldome An exceeding wise Citizen a very sufficient vnderstanding man and exceeding rich Om. Miracles are not ceasd Wid. Good morrow Land-lord where haue you beene sweating Seld. Good morrow to your Honors thrift is industrious your Lady-ship knowes we will not stick to sweat for our pleasures how much more ought wee to sweat for our profits I am come from master Ingen this morning who is married or to be married and though your Ladyships did not honor his Nuptials with your presence he hath by me sent each of you a paire of gloues and Grace Seldome my wife is not forgot Exit Omnes God giue him ioy God giue him ioy Exeunt Maid Let all things most impossible change now Oh periur'd man oathes are but words I see But wherefore should not we that thinke we loue Vpon full merrit that same worth once ceasing Surcease our loue to and finde new desert Alas we cannot loue 's a pit which when We fall into we ne're get out againe And this same horrid newes which me assaults I would forget loue blanches blackest faults Oh! what path shall I treade for remedie But darkest shades where loue with death doth lie Exit Manent HVSBAND WIFE SVBTLE Wife Sir I haue often heard my husband speake of your acquaintance Husb. Nay my vertuous wife Had it beene but acquaintance this his absence Had not appear'd so vncouth but we two Were Schoole-fellowes together borne and nurs'd Brought vp and liu'd since like the Gemins Had but one suck the Tauerne or the Ordinarie Ere I was married that saw one of vs Without the other said we walk't by halfes Where deere deere friend haue you beene all this while Subt. Oh most sweet friend the World 's so vicious That had I with such familiaritie Frequented you since you were married Possess'd and vs'd your fortunes as before As in like maner you commanded mine The deprau'd thoughts of men would haue proclaim'd Some scandalous rumors from this loue of ours As saying mine reflected on your Ladie And what a wound had that beene to our soules When only friend-ship should haue beene the ground To hurt her Honor and your confident peace Spight of mine owne approu'd integritie Husb. Wife kisse him bid him welcome pox o' th World Come come you shall not part from me in hast I doe command thee vse this Gentle-man In all things like my selfe if I should die I would be him in my will to thee Wife Sir you are most welcome let scandalous tongues No more deterre you I dare vse
vnciuillie mew Gr. Your mothers Cat ha's kitten'd in your mouth sure Pr. Prithee but note yon Felow do's he not walke look as if hee did desire to be a Cuckold Gr. But you doe not looke as if you could make him one now they haue dind my Lord Enter Lord Feesimple Maister Wel-tri'd Feesi. God saue your Lordship Pr. How dost thou Coze hast thou got any more wit yet Feesim. No by my troth I haue but litle money with that little wit I haue and the more wit euer the lesse money yet as litle as I haue of either I would giue some thing that I durst but quarrell I would not be abused thus daily as I am Welt. Saue you my Lord Pr. Good Maister Wel-tri'd you can informe mee pray how ended the quarrell betwixt yong Bould and the other Gentleman Welt. Why very fairelie my Lord on honorable tearmes Young Bould was iniur'd and did challenge him Fought in the field and the other gaue him satisfaction Vnder his hand I was Boulds second and can shew it heere Pr. T' is strange there was no hurt done yet I hold the other Gentleman farr the better Man Welt. So doe not I Pr. Besides they say the satisfaction that walks in the Ordinaries is counter-feit Welt. He lies that saies so and I le make it good And for I know my frend is out of towne What Man soeuer wrongs him is my foe I say he had full satisfaction Nay that which wee may call submission That the other sought peace first and who denies this Lord Knight or Gentleman English French or Scot I 'le fight and proue it on him with my sword Feesi. No sweet Maister Well-tri'd let 's haue no fighting till as you haue promis'd you haue rid me from this foolish feare and taught mee to endure to looke vppon a naked Sword Welt. Well and I l'e be as good as my word Feesi. But doe you heare Cozen Proudly they say my old Father must marrie your sister Honor and that hee will disinherit me and intaile all his Lordships on her and the heire he shall beget on her bodie i' st true or not Proudly There is such a report Feesi. Why then I pray God he may die an ould Cuckoldlie slaue oh world what art thou where is Parents loue Can he denie me for his naturall Child Yet see oh fornicator ould and stiffe Not where he should be that 's my comfort yet As for you my Lord I will send to you as soone as I dare fight and looke vppon steele which Maister Wel-tri'd I pray let be with all possible speede Pr. What d' ee this afternoone Feesi. Faith I haue a great mind to see long-megg and the ship at the Fortune Pr. Nay afaith let 's vp and haue a rest at Primero Welt. Agreed my Lord and toward the Euening I l'e carrie you to the Companie Feesi. Well no more words Exeunt Lord PROVDLY Lord FEES WEL-TR Grace I wonder Sir you will walke so and let anie bodie sit prating to your wife were I a man I d'e thrust 'em out ot'h shop by the head and shoulders Sol. There were no pollicie in that wife so should I loose their custome let them talke them selues wearie and giue thee loue tokens still I loose not by it Thy chastitie 's impregnable I know it Had I a dame whose eies did swallow youth Whose vnchast gulph together did take in Masters and Men the Foot-bodies and their Lords Making a Gally-moferie in her blood I would not walke thus then but vertuous wife He that in chast eares poores his ribauld talke Begets hate to himselfe and not consent And euen as durt throwne hard against a wall Rebounds and sparkles in the throwers eies So ill words vtter'd to a vertuous Dame Turne and defile the speaker with red shame Exeunt Enter HVSBAND and WIFE Hus. Z'oones you are a whore though I entreat him faire Before his face in complement or so I not esteeme him truly as this rush Ther 's no such thing as friend-ship in the world And he that can not sweare dissemble lie Wants knowledge how to liue and let him die Wife Sir I did thinke you had esteem'd of him As you made shew therefore I vs'd him well And yet not so but that the strictest eie I durst haue made a witnesse of my cariage Husb. Plague a your carriage why he kist your hand Look't babies in your eies and wink 't and pink't You thought I had esteem'd him S'blood you whore Doe not I know that you doe know you lie When did'st thou heare me say and meane one thing Oh I could kick you now and teare your face And eate thy Breasts like vdders Wife Sir you may but if I know what hath deseru'd al this I am no woman 'cause he kist my hand vnwillingly Hurb. A little lowder pray Wife You are a base fellow an vnworthie man As e're poore Gentlewoman match't withall Why should you make such shew of loue to any Without the truth thy beastly minde is like Some decai'd Tradesman that doth make his wife Entertaine those for gaine he not endures Pish swell and burst I had rather with thy sword Be hew'd to peeces then lead such a life Out with it valiant sir I hold you for A drawer vpon women not on men I will no more conceale your hollow heart But e'ne report you as you are in truth Hub. This is cal'd marriage stop your mouth you whore Wife Thy mother was a whore if I be one Enter SVBTLE Hus. You know ther 's companie in the house sweet friend What haue you writ your letter Sub. T' is done deere friend I haue made you stay too long I feare you 'll be benighted Husb. Fie no no Madame sweetest wife farewell God blesse vs Make much of master Subtle heere my friend kisse her Till my returne which may be ee'n as 't happens According as my businesse hath successe Exit Subt. How will you passe the time now fairest Mistresse Wife In troth I know not wiues without their husbands Me thinks are lowring daies Subt. Indeed some wiues Are like dead bodies in their Husbands absence Wife If any Wife be I must needs be so That haue a Husband farre aboue all men Vntainted with the humors others haue A perfect man and one that loues you truly You see the charge he left of your good vsage Subt. Push hee 's an Asse I know him a starke Asse Of a most barbarous condition False-hearted to his friend rough vnto you A most desembling and perfideous fellow I care not if he heard me this I know And will make good vpon him with my sword Or any for him for he will not fight Wife Fie seruant you shew small ciuilitie And lesse humanitie d' ee require My husbands loue thus ill or what d' ee thinke Of mee that you will vtter to my face Such harsh vnfriendly slanderous iniuries Euen of my Husband Sir forbeare I pray My eares or your
owne tongue I am no hous-wife To heare my Husbands merrit thus deprau'd Subt. His merrit is a halter by this light You thinke hee 's out of Towne now no such matter But gone aside and hath importun'd me To trie your chastitie Wife It cannot be Alas he is as free from jealouzie And euer was as confidence it selfe I know he loues me to too heartily To be suspitious or to proue my truth Subt. If I doe faine in ought ne're may I purchase The grace I hope for and faire Misteris If you haue any spirit or wit or sence You will be euen with such a wretched slaue Heauen knowes I loue you as the ayre I draw Thinke but how finely you may cuckold him And safely too with me who will report To him that you are most inuincible Your Chastitie not to be subdu'd by man Wife When you know I 'm a whore Subt. A whore fie no That you haue beene kind or so your whore doth liue In Pict-hatch Turnebole-streete Wife Your whore liues there Well Seruant leaue me to my selfe a while Returne a none but beare this hope away T' shall be with you if I at all doe stray Exit Subtle Why heer 's right wordly friendship ye are well met Oh men what are you why is our poore sexe Still made the disgrac't subiects in these plaies For vices follie and inconstancie When were men look't into with such criticall eies Of obseruation many would be found So full of grosse and base corruption That none vnlesse the Diuell himselfe turn'd writer Could faine so badly to expresse them truely Some wiues that had a husband now like mine Would yeeld their honors vp to any man Farre be it from my thoughts oh let me stand Thou God of marriage and chastitie An honor to my sexe no iniurie Compell the vertue of my breast to yeeld I'ts not reuenge for any wife to staine The nuptiall bed although she be yok't ill Who fals because her husband so hath done Cures not his wound but in her selfe makes one Ex. Wife Enter INGEN reading a letter sits downe in a Chaire and stampes with his foote to him a Seruant Ing. Who brought this Letter Seru. A little Irish foot-boy Sir he staies without for an answere Ing. Bid him come in Lord What deepe dissemblers are these females all How farre vnlike a friend this Ladie vs'd me And heere how like one mad in loue she writes Enter MAID like an Irish foot-boy with a dart and gloues in hir pocket and a handkercher So blesse me Heauen but thou art the prettiest boy That e're ran by a Horse hast thou dwelt long With thy faire Mistris Maid I came but this morning Sir Ing. How fares thy Ladie boy Maid Like to a turtle that hath lost her mate Drooping shee sits her griefe Sir cannot speake Had it a voice articulate we should know How and for what shee suffers and perhaps But t' is vnlikely giue her Comfort Sir Weeping shee sits and all the sound comes from her Is like the murmure of a siluer Brooke Which her teares truely would make there about her Sate she in any hollow continent Ing. Beleeue me boy thou hast a passionate tong Liuely expression or thy memorie Hath carried thy lesson well away But wherefore mournes thy Ladie Maid Sir you know And would to God I did not know my selfe Ing. Ah las it cannot be for loue to me When last I saw her shee reuil'd me boy With bitter'st words and wish't me neuer more To approch her sight and for my marriage now I doe sustaine it as a pennance due To the desert that made her bannish me Maid Sir I dare sweare she did presume no words Nor dangers had beene powerfull to restraine Your comming to her when she gaue the charge But are you married truely Ing. Why my Boy Dost think I mock my selfe I sent her gloues Maid The gloues she ha's return'd you Sir by me And praies you giue them to some other Ladie That you 'll deceiue next and be periur'd to Sure you haue wrong'd her Sir she bad me tell you She ne're thought goodnesse dwelt in many men But what there was of goodnesse in the world Shee thought you had it all but now shee sees The jewell she esteem'd is counterfeit That you are but a common man your selfe A traitor to her and her vertuous loue That all men are betraiers and their breasts As full of dangerous gulphes as is the Sea Where any woman thinking to finde Harbor Shee and her honor are praecipitated And neuer to be brought with safetie off Ahlas my haplesse Ladie desolate Distrest forsaken Virgin Ing. Sure this Boy Is of an excellent nature who so newly Tane to her seruice feeles his Mistresse griefe As he and they were old familiar friends Why weep'st thou gentle Lord Maid Who hath one teare And would not sau 't from all occasions From Brothers slaughters and from mothers deaths To spend it heere for my distressed Ladie But Sir my Ladie did commaund me begg To see your wife that I may bare to her The sad report what creature could make you Vntie the hand-fast plighted vnto her Enter his Brother like a woman maskt Ingen kisses her Ingen. Wife wife come forth now Gentle boy be iudge If such a face as this being paid with scorne By her I did adore had not full power To make me marrie Maid By the God of Loue Shee s a faire Creature but faith should be fairer My Ladie Gentle Mistresse one that thought Shee had some intrest in this Gentleman Who now is onelie yours Commaunded me To kisse your white hand and to sigh and weepe And wish you that content she should haue had In the fruition of her Loue you hold She bad me say God giue you ioy to both Yet this withall if ye were married No one her foot-steps euer more should meete Nor see her face but in a winding sheete Brother Ahlas poore Ladie 'faith I pittie her And but to be i' th same state could forgoe Any thing I possesse to ease her woe Maid Loues blessing light vpon thy gentle soule Men raile at women Mistris but it is we Are false and cruell ten times more vnkind You are smoother farre and of a softer mind Sir I haue one request more Ing. Gentle Lad It must be one of a strange-qualitie That I denie thee both thy forme and minde Informe me that thy nurture hath beene better Than to betray thee to this present life Maid T' is that you would vouchsafe to entertaine me My feete do tremble vnder me to beare My bodie back vnto my vncouth Ladie To assure her griefe what heart so hard would owe A tongue to tell so sad a tale to her Ahlas I dare not looke vpon her eies Where wronged loue sits like the Basilisque And sure would kill me for my dire report Or rather should not I appeare like death holding vp his dart When euery word I speak shot through her
a stale one And was done in the Fleete ten yeares agoe Will you begon the doore is open for you Bould Let me but tarrie till the morning Madam To send for clothes shall I goe naked home Wid. T' is best time now it is but one a clock And you may goe vnseene I sweare by Heauen I would spend all the night to sit and talke w' ee If I durst trust you I doe loue you so My bloud forsakes my heart now you depart Bould S'hart will you marrie me heereafter then Wid. No you are too yong and I am much too old I and vnworthy and the world will say We married not for loue good morrow seruant Ex. Wid. Bould Why so these women are the errantst Iuglers in the World the wry-leg'd fellow is an Asse to 'em Well I Musique must haue this widdow what e're come on 't Faith she has turn'd me out of her seruice verie barely harke what 's heere musique Enter SVBTLE with a paper and his BOY with a cloake Subt. Rise Ladie Mistresse rise The night hath tedious beene No sleepe hath fallen into my eies Nor slumbers made me sinne Is not she a Saint then say Thought of whom keepes sinne away Rise Madame rise and giue me light Whom darkenesse still will couer And ignorance darker than night Till thou smile on thy louer All want day 〈◊〉 thy beautie rise For the grate morne breakes from thine eies Now sing it sirrha The Song sung by the Boy Subt. S'foote who 's this yong Master Bould God saue you you are an earely stirrer Bould You say true Master Subtle I haue beene earely vp but as God helpe me I was neuer the neere Subt. Where haue you beene Sir Bould What 's that to you Sir at a womans labour Subt. Very good I neare tooke you for a man Mid-wife before Bould The troth is I haue beene vp all night at dice lost my clothes good morrow Master Subtle pray God the Watch be broke vp I thanke you for my Musique Exit Subt: T is palpable by this aire her husband and being abroad Bould has layen with her and is now conuai'd out of doores Is this the Ladie Perfect with a poxe The truth is her vertuous chastitie began to make me make a myracle of her still holding out to me notwithstanding her husbands most barbarous vsage of her but now indeede t' is no maruaile since another possesses her Well Madame I le go finde out your Cuckold I le be reueng'd on you and tell a tale Shall tickle him this is a cheate in loue Not to be borne another to beguile Me of the game I plaid for all this while Exit Enter WELTRI'D and BOVLD puting on his doublet FEE-SIMPLE on a bed as in Bould's chamber Welt. You see we made bould with your lodging indeed I did assure my selfe you were fast for this night Bo. But how the Deuill came this foole in your companie Welt. S'foote man I carried him last night among the Rorers to flesh him and by this light he got drunke and beate e'm all Bould Why then he can endure the sight of a drawne sword now Welt. Oh God Sir I thinke in my conscience he will eate steele shortlie I know not how his conuersion will hold after this sleepe but in an houre or two last night he was growne such a little dam-me that I protest I was afraid of the spirit that I my selfe had rais'd in him but this other matter of your expulsion thus mads me to the heart Were you in bed with her Bould In bed by Heauen Welt. I 'le be hang'd if you were not busie to soone you should haue let her slept first Bould Z'oones man she put her hands to my breasts and swore I was no maid now I being eager to proue her words true tooke that hint and would violently haue thrust her hand lower when her thought being swifter then my strength made her no sooner imagine that she was betrai'd but she leapes out of the bed whips me downe a sword that hung by and as if fortitude and justice had met to assist her spight of all argument faire or fowle she forc't me away Welt. But is 't possible thou should'st haue no more wit would'st thou come away vpon any tearmes but sure ones hauing night her chamber and her selfe naked in thine armes By that light if I had a sonne of 14 whom I had help 't thus farre that had seru'd me so I would breech him Bould S'hart what would you haue me done Welt. Haue done done done twice at least Bould Haue plaid Tarquin and rauish't her Welt. Pish Tarquin was a block-head if he had had any wit and could haue spoke Lucrece had neuer been rauished she would haue yeelded I warrant thee so wil any woman Bould I was such an erronious heretique to loue and women as thou art till now Welt. God's pretious it makes me mad when I thinke on 't was there euer such an obsur'd trick now will she abuse thee horriblie say thou art a faint-hearted fellow a milk-sop and I know not what as indeede thou art Bould Z'oones would you had beene in my place Welt. Z'oones I would I had I would haue so jumbl'd her honestie would'st thou be held out at staues end with words dost not thou know a widdow 's a weake vessell and is easily cast if you close Bould Weltri'd you deale vnfriendly Welt. By this light I shal blush to be seen in thy companie Bould Pray leaue my chamber Welt. Poxe vpon your chamber I care not for your chamber nor your selfe More than you care for me Bo. S'blood I as little for you Welt. Why fare you well Bo. Why fare-well you Weltri'd I prithee stay Thou know'st I loue thee Welt. S'hart I loue you as well but for my spleene or choller I thinke I haue as much as you Bo. Well friend this is the businesse you must doe for me Repaire vnto the widdow where giue out To morrow morne I shall be married Inuite her to the wedding I haue a trick To put vpon this Lord to whom I made My instrument to preferre me Welt. What shall follow I will not aske because I meane to see 't The jars 'twixt friends still keeps their friendship sweet Ex. Feesi. Why Weltri'd you rogue what 's that a vision Bould Why how now my Lord who do you call rogue the Gentleman you name is my friend if you were wise I should be angrie Feesi. Angrie with me why dam me Sir and you be Cut with your sword it is not with me I tell you As it was yesterday I am flesht man I Haue you any thing to say to me Bould Nothing but this how many doe you thinke you haue slaine last night Feesi. Why fiue I neuer kill lesse Bould There was but foure my Lord you had best prouide your selfe and begon three you haue slaine starke dead Feesi. You jest Bould T' is most true Weltri'd is fled Feesi. Why
let the Rorers meddle with me another time as for flying I scorne it I kild 'em like a man when did you euer see a Lord hang for any thing we may kill whom we list marry my conscience pricks me ah plague a this drinke what things it makes vs doe I doe no more remember this now than a puppie-dogge Oh bloodie Lord that art bedawb'd with gore Vaine world adiew for I will rore no more Bould Nay stay my Lord I did but trie the tendernesse of your conscience all this is nothing so but to sweeten the tale I haue for you I foretold you this fain'd mischance Feesi. Is it a tale belonging to the Widdow Bould I thinke you are a witch Feesi. My grand-mother was suspected Bould The Widdow has desired you by me to meete her to morrow morning at Church in some vnknowne disguise least any suspect it for quoth she Long hath he held me fast in his moist hand Therefore I will be his in nuptiall band Feesi. Bould I haue euer taken you to be my friend I am very wise now and valiant if this be not true dam-me Sir you are the sonne of a whore and you lie and I will make it good with my sword Bould I am what e're you please Sir If it be not true I will goe with you to the Church my selfe your disguise I haue thought on the Widdow is your owne Come leaue your fooling Feesi. If this be true thou little Boy Cant. Bould So true as thou tel'st to me To morrow morne when I haue the Widdow My deare friend shalt thou be Exeunt Enter MAID like the foote-boy SELDOME with a couple of SERIEANTS PITS DONNER Maid Sir t' is most true and in this shall you be vnlike to other Citizens that arrest To vndoe Gentlemen your clemencie heere perchance saues two liues one from the others sword The other from the Lawes this morne they fight And though your debtor be a Lord yet should he Miscarrie certainely your debt were lost Seld. Do'st thou serue the Lord Proudly Maid Sir I do Seld. Well such a Boy as thou is worth more money Then thy Lord owes me t' is not for the debt I doe arrest him but to end this strife Which both may loose my money and his life Enter Lord PROVDLY with a riding rod Pr. My Horse there Z'oones I would not for the world He should alight before me in the field My name and honor were for euer lost Seld. Good morrow to your Honor I doe heare Your Lordship this faire morning is to fight And for your honor Did you neuer see The Play where the fat Knight hight Old-castle Did tell you truly what this honor was Pr. Why how now good man flat-cap what d' ee lack Who doe you talke to sirrha 1. Serg. We arrest you Pr. Arrest me rogue I am a Lord ye curs a Parliament man 2. Serg. Sir we arest you though Pr. At whose suit Seld. At mine Sir Pr. Why thou base rogue did not I set thee vp Hauing no stock but thy faire shop and wise Seld. Into my house with him Maid Away with him away with him Pr. A plot a trick by Heauen See Ingens foote-boy t' is by his Masters meanes oh coward slaue I 'le put in baile or pay the debt Sel. I I I wee 'll talke with you within thrust him in Ex. Enter INGEN looking on his sword and bending it his brother like a Man Ing. If I miscarrie Franck I prithee see All my debts paid about fiue hundred pounds Will fully satisfie all men and my land And what I else possesse by natures right And thy descent Franck I make freely thine Broth. I know you doe not thinke I wish you dead For all the benefit besides your spirit So opposite to counsaile to auert Your resolution that I saue my breath Which would be lost in vaine to expire and spend Vpon your foe if you fall vnder him Ing. Franck I protest you shall doe iniurie Vnto my foe and much disturbance to Vnto my soule departing die I heere Fairely and on my single enemies sword If you should not let him go off vntouch't Now by the Master of thy life and mine I loue thee Boy beyond any example As well as thou do'st me but should I goe Thy second to the field as thou dost mine And if thine enemie kild thee like a man I would desire neuer to see him more But he should beare himselfe off with those wounds He had receau'd from thee for that time safe And without persecution by the Law For what hap is our foes might be our owne And no mans iudgement sits in Iustice place But weighing other mens as his owne case Broth. He has the aduantage of you being a Lord For should you kill him you are sure to die And by some Lawyer with a golden tongue That cries for right ten angels on his side Your daring meete him cal'd presumption But kill he you hee and his noble friends Haue such a golden snaffle for the jawes Of man deuouring Pithagorean Law Thei 'le reyne her stubborne chaps e'ne to her taile And though she haue yron teeth to meaner men So master her that who displeasd her most She shall lie vnder like a tired jade For small boates on rough seas are quickly lost But ships ride safe and cut what by they list Ing. Follow what may I am resolu'd deare Brother This monster vallor that doth feed on men Groanes in me for my reputation This charge I giue thee to If I doe die Neuer to part from the yong Boy which late I entertain'd but loue him for my sake And for my Mistresse the Ladie Honor Whom to deceiue I haue deceiu'd my selfe If she be dead pray God I may giue vp My life a sacrifice on her brothers sword But if thou liu'st to see her gentle brother If I be slaine tell her I dy'de because I had transgrest against her worthy loue This sword is not well mounted le ts see thine Enter MAID like a foote-boy Maid Your staying Sir is in vaine for my Lord Proudly Iust at his taking horse to meete you heere At Seldomes suit the Citizen was arrested Vpon an action of two hundred pounds I saw it Sir t' is true Ing. Oh scuruie Lord It had beene a cleanlier shift then this to haue had It hinder'd by command he being a Lord But I will finde him Enter Lord PROVDLY Proud You see valiant Sir I haue got loose Pro. stabs his sister For all your stratagem oh rogue are you there Ing. Most ignoble Lord Ingen stabs Proud in the left arme Proud Coward thou did'st this That I might be disabled for the fight Or that thou mightst haue some excuse to shun me But t' is my left arme thou hast lighted on I haue no second heere are three of you If all doe murther me your consciences Will more then hang you damn you come prepare In. Brother walk off take the boy away is he hurt