or Falshood therein thou wouldst discover it to me and help me to do it aright And now Glory be to thee O God the Father whom I shall be bold from this Day forward to look upon as my God and Father that ever thou shouldst find out such a Way for the Recovery of undone Sinners Glory be to thee O God the Son who hast loved me and washed me from my Sins in thy own Blood and art now become my Saviour and Redeemer Glory be to thee O God the Holy Ghost who by the Finger of thine Almighty Power hast turned about my Heart from Sin to God O Dreadful Jehovah the Lord God Omnipotent Father Son and Holy Ghost thou art now become my Covenant-Friend and I through thine Infinite Grace am become thy Covenant-Servant Amen So be it And the Covenant which I have made on Earth let it be ratified in Heaven April 11. 1667. HENRY GEARING A Pathetical Meditation on the Passion of Christ taken out of Mr. Wadsworth's Remains 8vo abridged and transcribed for his own Vse upon Sacramental Occasions A Way all trifling Worldly Business I must go see my bleeding Lord Come now my Soul look yonder thou wilt soon arrive at bloody Golgotha where thou shalt see thy bleeding dying Saviour to sigh and linger out a dying Life on the Cross in Love for thee This this might O my Soul have been thy Day in which thou might'st have drunk the bitter Cup of the fierce Anger of God! But look yonder there he goes that must drink up the Dregs and all for thee But come my Soul draw up a little nearer stand here and thou wilt see him passing Look there he goes with a Train of Virgins following But see how cruelly these barbarous Jews do use him they make him bear his Cross himself See how they laugh and scoff and wag their Heads as if he were their May-game Look see my Soul come tell me what thou seest O I cannot Sorrow ties my Tongue I cannot speak I see a Troop of Virgins following him their weeping Eyes their blubbering Lips their Sighs and Throbbings speak them Mourners I see my Lord looks towards them and kindly 〈◊〉 their loving Sorrow Weep not for me Ah could they do less than weep to see thine innocent Self among a Herd of Tygers But whither O whither O ye blinded Jews are ye dragging this my Lord My Spirit begins to faint I now can look no longer my Heart now begins to swell with Grief it must now break or I must vent it at my Eyes in Streams Look see the Hammer and Nails the Hammer lift up to strike Bloody Man thou durst not strike sure Surely thou dost not know whose Hands and Feet thou art now piercing it is the Prince and Saviour of the World But look see it is done The Nails are driven to the Head see how the Blood runs trickling down his Hands and Feet and see how hardned Hearts are laughing at it O silly foolish blinded Men what laugh yet See this very Christ you now mock shall be your Judge But come again look and see my Soul what is become of thy nailed and crucified Lord Ah me he is not quite dead look how he gasps and pants for Life O how pale and wan do I see his Cheeks methinks he should be dead for see how weak his Neck is grown that it is not able to support his Head that lies a dying on his bleeding Breast What yet not dead See how he shakes and stirs his dying Limbs What Gasps and Groans do I hear him fetch Hark hark he speaks O let me catch the last Breath of my dying Saviour What saith my Lord What My God my God why hast thou forsaken me He hath been all this while a drinking up the Cup his Father gave him the bitter sowr Cup of his Father's Wrath which I and all the World had else drank But must he endure all this Must he be crowned with Thorns and sweat and bleed and die and all for me This I stand amazed at But there was Necessity for all this either he must be thus dealt with or else my Sins could not be pardoned He must drink up this bitter Cup with all its Dregs or else I must have drunk it up my self It was I that sinned and must have suffered This cursed proud and earthly Heart of mine rebelled and broke the Laws and should have suffered and born the Punishment Had not he stept in and born the Stroak off from me I had been now burning in everlasting Flames and been lingring out this Time in Torments which I am now spending in the sweet Thoughts of my Escape Hath not the Prophet said all this in Isa 53. these Wounds Stripes Bruises he bore for thee O amazing Love and Grace the Son of God loved me better than his Life Was ever Love like to his Love He was a Stranger to me Why did he not let me die But he loved me I was a polluted Sinner methinks he should have loathed me but he did wash me and make me clean again But why did he love an Enemy Or how could he do it I know not why O inexpressible Love O Love past Thoughts He Loves because he will love What ails my Heart I cannot find it stir What! dead under the reviving Thoughts of thy dearest Redeemer Arise shake up thy self and look about thee thou dost not sure see thy Mercy Come away O come away lift up thy drowsie Head I will make thee look and love and e'er I leave thee confess thou lovest him Suppose now for thy Sins the Vengeance of God was just seizing upon thee turning thee into Hell and Christ comes and reveals himself to thee Sinner I love thee I say thou shalt not die Come feel my Heart how it beats towards thee Dost thou not see I have left my Throne and am come down to the Bar where thou standest condemned But why dost thou weep Come let me wipe thine Eyes and bind up thy bleeding and despairing Heart I tell thee thou shalt not die If Heaven will have Blood it shall have mine so it will but spare thine Now the Soul hath not a Word to speak against this Love Thy Son O God hath offered Satisfaction and thou hast accepted it Thou O my Saviour hast laid down thy Life for mine and thy Father and my Father is well pleased with it Blood is paid Justice is satisfied Heaven's Doors are widened thine Arms opened to receive me nothing is wanting but my Heart make it such as thou wilt have it and then take it to thy self Come my Soul the Father thou seest is willing and the Son is willing give but thy Consent and he is thine for ever Fear not thy Hardness Deadness Blindness Loathsomness all these cannot hinder if thou be but willing What stickest thou at What do'st ail Half of this ado would fetch a Heart for the World a little Mire and Dirt and is not
Christ far better The Dress for the Sacrament Lord where am I What! all the Children of the Bride-Chamber up and dress'd and I slumbring in my Bed Tell me ye fairest what make you up so early Alas our Lord was up before us all he called us up by Break-of-Day and wondered that we were not trimming our Lamps knowing with whom we were to feast this Day Well then I will rise up too O what a Shew do these bright and glittering Saints make in my Eyes surely they did not thus dress themselves It was my Father made them thus prepared to entertain his Son But where are my Cloaths Now for the fairest sweetest Robe of Thoughts and Wishes that can be found O how naked am I But where are my silken golden Twists of Faith to hang the Jewels of Joy and Love and Humility upon I am never dress'd till they be on O where are they I saw them by me but just now I laid them by my Heart before I went to Bed But ah I fear this envious World hath with her Vanities stolen them away or the envious Devil or Unbelief hath been ravelling or snarling of them that now I am as far to seek as ever Whither O whither shall I go to find them out Now will the Bridegroom come and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to Day now will my Lord be angry and ask me why I came not and I have no Answer to make him and if I go undress'd he will ask me where is my Wedding-Garment and then I shall be speechless Ah foolish simple Heart that thou should'st let these Thoughts of Earth so entangle themselves with thy Heavenly Meditations how to get them loose again thou know'st not this by Care thou mightest have prevented Now what Help Lord I have sinned O holy Father pardon this time and I will take more heed O come and untie my Thoughts from this Earth and come and dress me up as best pleaseth thee Come be not discouraged O my Soul let but thy Attire of Grace be whole that is sincere and thy God and Saviour will accept thee tho' thy Garments are not so much perfumed with Heaven as thy Brethrens are thy Lord knows all have not Talents alike and where he gives but little he expects but little thou hast an honest willing serious Heart that thinks it doth despise and trample under Feet the nearest dearest Pleasures Profits and Glories in the World compared with him that gave himself to Death for thee and hadst rather anger all the World than him by sinning against him in the least If this he true fear not thou hast thy Wedding-Garment on thou art well clad as mean soever as it is it is such an one as Heaven gave thee and such an one as thy dear Redeemer can and will embrace thee in The Presence-Chamber Fear not O my Soul I charge thee do not faint let not thy Weakness and the Poverty of thy Grace discourage thee see how thy Lord draws nigh O he comes and it is but to welcome thee and fall about thy Neck and kiss thee and bid thee a kind Welcome to thy bleeding Lord The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat it is the sweetest Dainties dearest Morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own Heart can wish Take eat this Morsel it costs my Life it is a Portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his Love to thee He bids thee remember a Father's Love I a Saviour's he hath a Heart to give thee and so have I take this in earnest of them both in one take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have ask'd thee for thy Wedding-Garment Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost And wilt not thou take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I heard thee and had Compassion on thy Groanings I know thee well enough thou art mine and I am thine take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and while thou feedest remember the Love of thy dearest Redeemer The Wine Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledge me I have broached my Sides and drew it on purpose for thee this is a Wine of my own making when I trod the Wine-Press of my Father's Wrath it is my Blood take and drink it Sin was the Cause of my wounding but to thy Soul it shall prove healing I died and bled to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-Cellar and my Banner over thee shall be Love Fear not take and drink thou hast an Ulcer in thy Heart and this shall cure it thy Spirits are faint this shall revive thee Drink I charge thee drink on thy Love and Loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy Heart to mend thy Wounds to be cured thy Spirits to revive thy Fears to scatter thy Soul to love and obey me Take O take this Cup into thy Hand taste it and praise my Name Memorable Sayings and Passages collected and transcribed for his own Vse These are some among others WHat we are affraid to do before Men we should be affraid to think before God because our secret Thoughts are as obvious to the Eyes of God as our Actions to the Eyes of Men. God shewed more Mercy in saving some when he might have condemned all than he did Justice in leaving some to perish when he might have saved none Great Vertues without Sincerity of Heart are rejected when great Infirmities without Hypocrisie are pardon'd A good Intention cannot make a bad Action good tho' an ill Intention may make an Action in it self good to be evil He who presumes to sin in Hopes of Repentance shall be sure to repent because he presumes They who presume most in a time of Prosperity are most apt to despair in Adversity Repent one Day before thou diest was good Counsel I know not when that Day will be therefore I will repent to Day lest it should be too late to Morrow He that delays his Repentance one Day hath another Day more to repent of and one Day less to do it in God who joins the End and Means together doth accomplish all his Purposes of Good to us by working in us Desires and Endeavours sutable to those Purposes Better go to Heaven by the Gates of Hell than to Hell by the Gate of Heaven mourning to the Heavenly Glory than laughing to the Place of Torment One may suffer and not sin but if he sin he shall be sure to suffer Herod might have kept his Oath and not have cut off the Baptist's Head he only promised to grant what she ask'd to the half of his Kingdom whereas the Prophet's Head was more worth than the whole Such is the infinite Extent and Value of our Saviour's Merit that
this thou findest thou hast more Desires after Grace that is more Grace Art thou not only thankful for a little Grace but art reaching after more Dost thou grow more weary of thy Sin and more earnest after Christ I hope in the Lord it is thus with me that I am more weary of Sin and desire more Grace Now Growth is a Sign of Life Again Put this Question to thy self Do I hunger and thirst after Christ This is an Evidence of Spiritual Life Dead Men do not hunger and thirst after Christ Now I hope in the Lord I do hunger and thirst after Christ and nothing but himself will content me Again Ask thy Soul Do I love God and Christ or do I not These Marks he gives of Love to Christ Lord I love thee for I am grieved at thy Absence and am rejoiced at thy Presence Lord I love thee for I love those that are like Thee O my Lord I love thee for I love the Place and Duties where thou art wont to meet thy People and warm their Hearts but if thou art not there I cannot take up contentedly with them Lord I humbly say I love thee for I dare not deny but I am grieved when thou art dishonoured by my self or others tho' I grieve for this less than I should because I love thee less than I ought Lord I love thee for I desire to have an Heart that should be willing to part with all for thee things sinful in themselves at all times and things lawful when thou callest me to it Once more I humbly say I love thee for I would have an Heart to love and long and look for thy Coming and Appearance in Glory Mr. Ambrose directing to try our Title to Heaven adviseth First To write down the Scripture-Marks or Grace or Glory and mentions these several Scriptures following 1 Joh. 2. 3. Hereby we know that we know him if we keep his Commandments 2 Cor. 1. 12. For our rejoicing is this the Testimony of our Conscience that in Godly Simplicity and Sincerity we have had our Conversation in the World 1 Joh. 3. 9 10. Whosoever is born of God sinneth not because his Seed abideth in him neither can he sin because he is born of God In this the Children of God are manifest c. 1 Joh. 4. 13. Hereby we know that we dwell in him and he in us because he hath given us of his Spirit 1 Joh. 3. 14. We know that we have passed from Death to Life because we love the Brethren James 1. 12. There is a Crown of Life the Lord hath promised to them that love him But above all observe these Texts following as containing the special Gospel-Conditions to which we find so often annexed the Promise of Justification and Glorification Joh. 3. 16. God so loved the World that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Everlasting Life Joh. 5. 24. He that believeth hath Everlasting Life and shall not come into Condemnation but is passed from Death unto Life Joh. 6. 40. And this is the Will of him that sent me that every one that seeth the Son and believeth in him may have Everlasting Life Joh. 20. 31. These things are written that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ the Son of God and that believing ye might have Life through his Name Acts 16. 31. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved Rom. 10. 9 10. If thou shalt confess with thy Mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thy Heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved Heb. 10. 39. We are not of them who draw back unto Perdition but of them that believe to the saving of the Soul 1 Joh. 5. 13. These things have I written unto you that believe in the Name of the Son of God that ye may know that ye have Eternal Life From the first Text we gather the Scripture mark of universal Obedience from the second Sincerity from the third Opposition against and Abstinence from Sin from the fourth Spiritual Performance of holy Duties from the fifth a Love of the Brethren from the sixth a Love of Christ from all the rest Faith in Christ the Root and Spring of all other Graces and necessary Conditions of Pardon and Eternal Life Proceed we now to put the Question to our selves but be sure to state it aright Let it not be Whether there be any Good in us at all For so we shall err on the one hand nor yet Whether we have such and such a degree and measure of Grace For so we shall err on the other hand But Whether according to the fore-mentioned Scriptures such and such a saving Grace be in us or not Now I having begged of God his Help to try the State of my Soul by what follows this 17th of August 1676. and I do hope I find the true Marks of saving Grace in my Soul and desire here to enter them down that I may have recourse to it in time of need and the Lord grant I be sincere 1. O my Soul hast thou respect to and dost observe all God's Commandments Dost thou keep the Law in Truth and Sincerity tho' not in gradual Perfection Dost thou know God in part and love God truly by a sincere Obedience Dost thou keep the Commandments in an Evangelical Sense And wherein thou failest dost thou acknowledge thy Failings and rely upon Christ for Pardon Is thy universal Obedience internal and spiritual as well as external Is thy Delight in the Law of God after the Inward Man Is thy Obedience to the Duties of both Tables Dost thou make Conscience of particular Duties in every Relation 2. O my Soul hast thou Sincerity and Uprightness of Heart Is there a powerful Change of the whole Man by the Grace of God Dost thou do what is good upon this account because God commands it not because it will agree with thy Ends and Advantage but because God hath required it Art thou diligent and conscientious in secret Duties to perform them and in Spiritual or Heart Sins and secret Lusts to avoid them Dost thou serve God in Spirit Dost thou eye God whether in private or publick Dost thou set thy self zealously against those Sins thou art most inclined unto Dost thou hate Sin most in thy self and in those that are nearest unto thee Hast thou respect to all God's Commandments but yet to the Duties of the first Table before the second to the Commands of greater Duties before those of lesser Duties Or if in all these Particulars thou findest not such an Uprightness as hath no Deceit or Falshood or carnal Respects at all joined with it for as all other Graces are but in part so are we sincere and upright but in part art thou humbled under thy Hypocrisie and spiritual Guile And dost thou trust only to Christ And dost thou cry as David did for Truth in the
inward Parts Dost thou observe the Frame of thy Heart in those things which none but God knows 3. O my Soul Dost thou oppose and abstain from Sin And is this Opposition and Abstinence settled and fixed in thy Heart not only for some Fits and Seasons but is it the habitual Inclination of thy Soul Is there in thee a Difficulty yea a kind of Impossibility to sin with Wilfulness and purposed Continuance or with such an universal Consent of Soul as wicked Men do And doth this Impossibility to Sin arise from a kindly Work of Grace within and not from any terrible Restraint upon thy Conscience without Dost thou in good measure and by degrees not only leave outward gross Sins but even conquer and crucifie the inward Body of Sin Dost thou oppose and leave Sin because of the evil Nature of Sin because it is contrary to God Is the Bent and Inclination of thy Heart against Sin universally Dost thou with Paul bewail the evil Motions of thy Heart Dost thou with Hezekiah humble thy self for the Pride of thy Heart Is Pride Unbelief Earthliness and the several Lusts of thy Soul discovered and crucified Dost thou abhor secret Sins as well as publick and fear God's Knowledge of thy Sins more than all the Worlds Dost thou abhor and lament Defects in holy Ordinances as well as gross Sins Neglects of holy Duties Lukewarmness and Distractions therein Dost thou not only oppose Sin in thy self but set against it in others Dost thou choose rather to suffer Affliction with the People of God than to sin against God Art thou such an one that thou canst not sin as others thou darest not sin thou hast an Averseness to Sin Dost thou not live in a course of known Sins thou sinnest not out of Malice nor makest a Trade of Sin 4. O my Soul Dost thou perform Duties spiritually Are thy Motives and Ends spiritual in thy spiritual Actions such as the Command of God injoying of Communion with God the Light of his Countenance Increase of Grace c. Is there Zeal Fervency Activity in thy Performance of Duties Is there in thee a free Inclination to the Duties that God requireth Are there in thee strong Oppositions and Combats against the Flesh and unregenerate Part 5. O my Soul Dost thou love the Brethren Dost thou love them because of the Image of God in them Dost thou love them because they are godly Dost thou love all the Godly Rich and Poor High and Low but them most of all that excel most in Purity and Godliness Art thou ready and willing to own them as Brethren and to join with them in time of Persecution Hast thou an holy Zeal against Sinners an Impatiency and holy Grief at the Wickedness of others Dost thou procure all spiritual Good to the Brethren as thou art able Dost thou pray for them exhort them provoke them to Good Dost thou bear their Burdens and forbear their Infirmities And if sometimes thou findest some Envyings some Impatiencies towards some of the Brethren for in the best is Imperfection of Grace yet is thy Soul troubled at this Dost thou pray down these Sins in thy Heart and art thou at no rest till it be otherwise with thee Art thou not asham'd to be call'd one of the Believers one of the holy Brethren in time of Persecution 6. O my Soul Dost thou love Christ Dost thou evidence this Love by keeping his Commandments and by accepting of his Rebukes Is thy Love to Christ a strong and lasting ever-living and continuing Love Dost thou love him in Sincerity Cannot many Waters of Affliction quench this thy Love nor the Floods of Persecution drown it Is thy Love a transcendent Love surpassing all other Love Doth the Love of Father Mother Wife Son Daughter Brother Sister yea and of thy own Life also give place to this Love Doth Christ sit in the Throne of thy Heart and do all these sit below at the Foot-stool Dost thou bear such fervent warm Affections to Christ that thou wouldst be content to part with all rather than part with him Canst thou say with David The Lord is my Portion and whom have I in Heaven but thee and whom on Earth that I desire in comparison of thee The World it may be will be sometimes creeping into thy Affections thou can'st not be quite free from the Love of the World yet dost thou in thy ordinary settled prevailing Judgment and Affections prefer Christ before all things in the World Dost thou make Christ the End of thy Desires the very Reason why thou hearest and prayest Dost thou first seek the Kingdom of Christ and his Righteousness If thou dost not seek it so zealously as thou should'st yet hath it the Chief of thy Desires and Endeavours And is nothing else desired and preferred before it Is thy Valuation of it so high that thou would'st not exchange thy Title to it and Hopes of God's Acceptance for any Worldly Good whatsoever Nay art thou willing to labour and suffer for it and tho' the flesh may sometimes shrink or draw back yet art thou resolved and content to go through all 7. O my Soul Dost thou believe in the Lord Jesus Christ Dost thou find that thou art naturally a lost condemned Creature and dost thou believe that Jesus Christ is the Mediator who hath made a sufficient Satisfaction to the Law and considering that in the Gospel he is offered without Exception to All dost thou heartily consent that he and he alone shall be thy Saviour Art thou content to take him for thy King to govern and guide thee by his Laws and Spirit Art thou willing to obey him even when he commands the hardest Duties and those which most cross the Desires of the Flesh Is it thy Sorrow when thou breakest thy Resolution herein and thy Joy when thou keepest close in Obedience to him And tho' the World and Flesh do sometimes intice and over-reach thee yet is it thy ordinary Desire and Resolution to obey so that thou wouldst not change thy Lord and Master for all the World By these things he adviseth to try and bring our Hearts to answer suffer them not to be silent nor to think of other Matters If any Question be hard through the Darkness of our Hearts yet do not give it over but search the closer and study the case the more exactly and if it be possible let not our Hearts give over till we have resolved the Question and told us off or on in what case we are yea wrestle with thy Heart till thou hast prevailed and say I will not let thee go till thou hast answered He that can prevail with his own Heart shall also be a Prevailer with God When we have discovered the Truth of our State then pass the Sentence accordingly A meer Examination will do us little good if we proceed not to a Judgment Conclude as we find either we are true Believers or we are not either we have
of God in it at least some Quicknings and Drawings out of my Heart after him in earnest Desires and Longings and Pantings after him yet I am apt to be cast down my Conscience is apt to accuse me that I do not my Duty and am fearful lest Death come of a sudden and find me unready and thereupon am greatly troubled and not knowing what to do methinks I would not be wanting in my Duty and often pray that God would shew me my Duty and help me to do it yet when I think to go about any thing there comes such a multitude of things into my Mind to do this and to do the other and all cannot be done together that I am sometimes almost discouraged and tempted to let all alone The Lord in infinite Mercy look upon me for Christ's sake and help me against this Temptation of Satan and my own wicked Heart and enable me to remember the Lord is gracious and merciful and accepts of the willing Mind where there is Truth and Sincerity The Lord help me also to remember and believe tho' I must be doing yet I am not justified for it if I could do never so much The Lord help me to renounce all and trust wholly to Jesus Christ for Acceptance for Justification and Salvation Now this Morning being in my Shop and having nothing to do Trading being very dead I thought with my self what to set about and tho' I have examined my self before yet knowing I cannot be too much in this Work I resolved to go to it again and altho' I cannot so solemnly search my Heart as if I were in secret yet I hope I find something of Mr. Naltion's Characters which I shall here note Question How may we know Christ is ours and we are his Ans 1. Do you highly prize Jesus Christ 2. Are you made new Creatures 3. Do you find the Power of Corruption in some measure abated in you 4. Are you desirous to have Christ rule over you as well as save you 5. Dost thou lament after the Lord and mourn over a crucified Saviour 6. Do you feel Sin a Burden and would you willingly be rid of it Quest How may I know I love Christ Answ 1. If you love Jesus Christ you will be content with nothing but his Love again All the World will not content you without the Love of Christ 2. If you love Jesus Christ you will delight to think and speak of Christ 3. If you love Christ you will be affraid to offend him 4. You will love the Saints and Followers of Christ 5. You will delight to be where Christ is in his Ordinances and rejoice in his Presence when you meet with him 6. Love to Christ will make you seek the Honour of Christ 7. Your Lives will run out in lively actings and exercise of Grace upon Christ 8. If you love Christ you will not think any thing too much to do for Christ or to part with him If you love me keep my Commandments saith Christ so that if I keep Christ's Commandments it is a Sign that I love him Now follow some Characters that Mr. Nalton laid down of true Faith in Jesus Christ but before these he gives some Rules to help us in trying our selves 1. If you would judge aright of your Faith be sure you do not trust to your own Hearts 2. Examine your Hearts when you are in a calm quiet composed Frame 3. Take heed you do not err in the nature of Faith to think there is no true Faith where there is no Assurance 4. Judge not of your Faith by some legal Troubles that have been in your Spirits as a fore-runner of Faith but judge by the Consequents of these Troubles whether they bring Christ and your Souls nearer together 5. Tho' you must judge your Faith by the Fruits of it yet they are in some of a higher degree some of a lower degree Joy in Tribulation is a high Fruit of Faith that every Man cannot attain unto Let not a Man say I have no Faith because I cannot sing in a Prison but if there be but any Fruit of Faith that discovers to thee thou art a Believer tho' not a strong Believer thou hast cause ro rejoice Now I hope my Desire is to try my self by these Marks of true Faith following The Lord grant I may find them in my Soul for Christ's sake 1st True Faith may be known by the efficient or principal Cause of it which is no other but the holy Spirit of God All the Angels in Heaven and Saints on Earth cannot perswade my Heart to believe till the Spirit of God draw my Soul to Jesus Christ Now hath the Spirit of God drawn thee to Christ Have you found the mighty Power of the Spirit of God overcoming the Pride and Stubbornness of your Wills to make you willing to accept of Christ on his own Terms Then you have a true Faith 2dly True Faith may be known by the manner of Production the Spirit of God hath a previous or foregoing Work upon the Soul 1. The Spirit of God convinces the Sinner this goes before believing the Spirit of God lets a Sinner see the inside of himself Thou art a Sinner saith the Spirit of God so that the poor Sinner sees himself in a lost and undone Condition in himself by reason of Sin 2. After convincing the Spirit of God humbles the Sinner he is humbled to the Dust This Sorrow and Humiliation is in some more in some less but in all there is so much Sense of Sin and Misery as to drive the Sinner out of himself and to let him see he must perish for ever without Christ 3. There is also an incouraging Work of the Spirit of God having convinced and humbled the Sinner he revives him by some Heart-chearing Considerations as 1. That there is a Christ an All-sufficient Saviour by whom he may be delivered from Wrath to come 2. The Spirit of God makes a particular Proffer of Christ and Pardon and Grace to him and tells him the Promises of the Gospel are made to him as well as others and that God invites him poor Sinner and that there is Mercy for him if he accept it 3. The Spirit of God doth sometimes secretly whisper to the Soul of a Sinner by a Voice within him inviting him and drawing him to come to Christ Come to me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you Rest Ho every one that thirsteth come to the Waters Art thou a thirsty Soul Thou art he that is invited saith the Spirit of God therefore stand out no longer 4. The Spirit of God doth work Faith by bowing the Will making it pliable to come and taste how good Christ is Well saith the Soul I am resolved to come to Christ tho' I know not how I shall speed I will cast my Soul into the Arms of Christ and if I sink I will sink with a Saviour in my
Arms I will live or die with him Now deal truly with your Souls hath the Spirit of God wrought Faith in you in this manner 3dly You may know the Truth of Faith by its vital Act which is an hearty Consent to receive Christ It is a Conjugal Consent that makes your Faith a true Faith 1. That is when the Sinner hath regard to his Person as well as his Portion 2. When we receive him to be our Lord and Husband to be ruled by him as well as to be redeemed by him 3. It excludes all other Partners I will have Christ and none but Christ if I have him I have enough 4. It includes all Conditions I am content to be his in Want as well as in Wealth in Adversity as well as Prosperity in Temptation as well as Consolation I am content to follow him through Dirt and Mire and Blood 5. Such a Man yields to Christ out of Choice a Man willingly yields to Christ he can say I am thine wholly I have made Choice of thee to be my Portion my Redeemer 4thly True Faith may be known by the Fruits of it Some Fruits in reference to Christ some in reference to our selves The Fruits in reference to Christ are these 1. True Faith will make you highly to prize Jesus Christ You will set such a Price upon Christ that all the Beauty and Bravery and Pomp and Glory of the World all the Pleasures and Treasures in the World will be but a heap of Dung in comparison of him The Person of Christ is exceeding precious Cant. 5. 10. My Beloved is white and ruddy the chiefest of ten thousand his Mouth is Sweetnesses be is altogether lovely His Blood is very precious his Offices very precious his Graces very precious an Interest in him is very precious The Purchase of his Blood very precious the Inheritance incorruptible undefiled that fadeth not away is very precious all the Kingdoms of the World are not worthy to be compared to it 2. True Faith will work earnest fervent regular Desires after Christ and Communion with him This is certain where Faith is once wrought the Soul is restless till it rests in a Saviour These Desires after Christ may be known by four Properties 1. By the Ardency of them they are not weak and slight Desires but commanding Desires like the Desires of Hunger and Thirst that musr be satisfied Tell the Soul who desires Christ that he shall have the World and Riches enough No saith he that will not content me give me Christ or else I die Tell him of outward Comforts and Accommodations These are not Christ saith he 2. By the Activity of them These Desires will not be sluggish lazy Desires to look that Christ should drop into their Mouths without looking after him But if you desire Christ indeed you will earnestly seek him as a Man that is hungry indeed will be ready to break through any Difficulties for Food 3. By the Prevalency of them They will be prevalent and powerful Desires they will make thee content to part with something for Christ When Christ saith I would have thee leave such a Lust With all my Heart saith the Soul When Christ saith Follow me in any hard Duty as the Duty of Self-denial With all my Heart saith the Soul Moses was content to part with all his Preferment for Christ he counted the Reproach of Christ greater Riches than the Treasures of Egypt 4. By the Constancy of them If your Desires are right you will still be desiring more of Christ you will never be so satisfied as to say you have enough of him but be hungring and thirsting still Psal 119. 20. My Soul breaketh for the longing it hath to thy Judgments at all times A man that hath tasted of the Sweetness of Christ O that I might taste more saith he There is a thousand times more Sweetness in Christ than ever yet you tasted He that saith he knows Christ so much that he desires to know no more I dare say he never tasted the Sweetness of Christ at all For the more you have experienc'd the more you will hunger after him and desire him 3. Another Fruit of Faith in reference to Christ is this It will work an earnest fervent Love to Christ so that a Believer will love Jesus Christ above all things and say Thy Loves are better than Wine Cant. 1. 2. It is said the Loadstone will not draw Iron in the Presence of the Diamon so no outward Loadstone of Pleasure and Contentment can draw the Soul in the Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ When a Worldly Man doth boast These are my Lands and Houses and Enjoyments A Believer saith All my Pleasures and Riches and Jewels are in Jesus Christ As Mephibosheth said 2 Kings 19. 30. Let him take all for as much as I have seen the Face of my Lord the King So saith a true Believer Let worldly Men take all so I may see the Face of my Lord the King of Saints When a Believer can draw out the Quintessence of all Creature Comforts and say the Sweetness of all is in Christ O how sweet is he then to that Soul Again This true Faith will make a Man love Christ against all Difficulties and Temptations and Discouragements he can meet with in Heaven's way What tho' I suffer Reproach for Christ saith the Believer yet I can love him still nay tho' I suffer the Loss of all my Estate for Christ yet I can love him still nay tho' I suffer the Loss of my Life for Christ yet I will love him still Acts 21. 13. I am ready not only to be bound but to die for the Name of Christ This I confess is a high Act of Faith but no higher than many Martyrs have attained to They felt such a strong and unquenchable Love in Jesus Christ to their Souls therefore their Love was so drawn out to Christ again which made them ready to suffer and lay down their Lives for him Again True Faith will make a Man love Christ without outward Encouragements A Believer can say What tho' I want these outward Accommodations others have tho' I be as poor as Job on the Dunghil yet a naked Christ is to me more welcome than a beautified World that is deck'd with all the Plenty and Prosperity that can be imagined As the strongest Believer he that hath Assurance of Christ's Love may love Christ more strongly yet it is as true he that is the weakest Believer tho' he knows not whether he be beloved of Christ he loves Christ as truly as the other 4. Another Fruit of Faith is a Fear of offending him True Faith would not have Christ displeased it is true Faith casts out a slavish Fear but a Fear of Reverence and Watchfulness is the Fruit of True Saving Faith 5. True Faith will work Holiness and new Obedience Hence Faith is called a most holy Faith because it makes us holy we are sanctified
will go mourning in this World while I have a Day to live till Christ shall please to cast an Eye of Grace and Mercy on me Nay let it come to this I cannot live if God be not reconciled If Christ be not mine my Spirit fails If the Lord do not relieve me there is nothing No abiding for me unless he speak a Word of Peace When the Soul is brought to this I must have an Interest in Christ or nothing will satisfie me such an one shall find Acceptance Therefore be in good earnest and let the Desires of the Soul rise up to an holy Restlesness O wretched Negligence that we can let the greatest Concerns of our Souls lie at Hazard all our Days Ten Questions to ask our Hearts Thus Mr. Steel advis'd we should often commune with our Hearts I. What have I been if now I am changed I was a wretched Sinner II. What Good have I done that God may have the Glory and I the Comfort III. How have I done it IV. What have I neglected The slothful Servant is condemn'd who had Talents but did no good with them What Duties have I neglected and how many Opportunities of doing good omitted V. What State am I in Am I in a gracious or sinful State in Christ or in my Sins If I am in Christ he rules if in Sin that reigns VI. What Frame am I in Am I in a gracious or worldly Frame of Heart VII What do I Am I in my Calling and in the way of my Duty Am I now doing the Will of God VIII Whither am I going Towards Heaven or Hell Every Moment I take a Step to one of them IX How far am I on my Way to Heaven X. What shall I do to be saved Salvation is to be had how shall I attain it His Covenant with God O Most Dreadful God! for the Passion of thy Son I beseech Thee accept of thy poor Prodigal now prostrating himself at thy Door I have fallen from Thee by mine Iniquiry and am by Nature a Son of Death 〈◊〉 a thousand-fold more the Child of Hell by 〈◊〉 wicked Practice but of thine Infinite Grace Thou hast promised Mercy to me in Christ if I will but turn to thee with all my Heart Therefore upon the Call of thy Gospel I am now come in and throwing down my Weapons submit my self to thy Mercy And because thou requirest as the Condition of my Peace with thee that I should put away mine Idols and be at Defiance with all thine Enemies which I acknowledge I have wickedly sided with against thee I here from the bottom of my Heart renounce them all firmly Covenanting with thee Not to allow my self in any known Sin but to use conscientiously all the Means that I know thou hast prescribed for the Death and utter Destruction of all my Corruptions And whereas I have formerly inordinately and idolatrously let out my Affections upon the World I do here resign my Heart to thee that mad'st it humbly protesting before thy Glorious Majesty That it is the firm Resolution of my Heart and that I do unfeignedly desire Grace from thee that when thou shalt call me hereunto I may practise this my Resolution through thy Assistance to forsake all that is dear unto me in this World rather than to turn from thee to the Ways of Sin and that I will watch against all its Temptations whether of Prosperity or Adversity lest they should withdraw my Heart from thee beseeching thee also to help me against the Temptations of Satan to whose wicked Suggestions I resolve by thy Grace never to yield my self a Servant And because my own Righteousness is but menstruous Rags I renounce all Confidence therein and acknowlege that I am of my self a hopeless helpless undone Creature without Righteousness or Strength And for as much as thou hast of thy bottomless Mercy offered most graciously to me wretched Sinner to be again my God through Christ if I would accept of thee I call Heaven and Earth to record this Day that I do here solemnly avouch thee for the Lord my God and with all possible Veneration bowing the Neck of my Soul under the Feet of thy most Sacred Majesty I do here take Thee the Lord Jehovah Father Son and Holy Ghost for my Portion and Chief Good and do give up my self Body and Soul for thy Servant promising and vowing to serve thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the Days of my Life And since thou hast appointed the Lord Jesus Christ the only Means of coming unto thee I do here upon the bended Knees of my Soul accept of him as the only new and living Way by which Sinners may have Access to thee and do here solemnly join my self in a Marriage-Covenant to him O blessed Jesus I come to thee hungry and hardly bestead poor and wretched and miserable and blind and naked a most loathsome polluted Wretch a guilty condemned Malefactor unworthy for ever to wash the Feet of the Servants of my Lord much more to be solemnly married to the King of Glory But sith such is thine unparallel'd Love I do here with all my Power accept thee and do take thee for my Head and Husband for better for worse for richer for poorer for all Times and Conditions to love and honour and obey thee before all others and this to the Death I embrace thee in all thine Offices I renounce my own Worthiness and do here avow thee for the Lord my Righteousness I renounce mine own Wisdom and do here take thee for my only Guide I renounce my own Will and take thy Will for my Law And since thou hast told me that I must suffer if I will reign I do here Covenant with thee to take my Lot as it falls with thee and by thy Grace assisting to run all Hazards with thee verily purposing that neither Life nor Death shall part between thee and me And because thou hast been pleased to give me thy holy Laws as the Rule of my Life and the Way in which I should walk to thy Kingdom I do here willingly put my Neck under thy Yoke and set my Shoulder to thy Burden and subscribing to all thy Laws as holy just and good I solemnly take them as the Rule of my Words Thoughts and Actions promising that tho' my Flesh contradict and rebel yet I will endeavour to order and govern my whole Life according to thy Direction and will not allow my self in the Neglect of any thing that I know to be my Duty Only because through the Frailty of my Flesh I am subject to many Failings I am bold humbly to protest that unallowed Miscarriages contrary to the settled Bent and Resolution of my Heart shall not make void this Covenant for so thou hast said Now Almighty God Searcher of all Hearts thou knowest that I make this Covenant with thee this Day without any known Guile or Reservation beseeching thee That if thou espiest any Flaw
Righteousness is more satisfactory and pleasing unto God than all the Sinners Wickedness is injurious and displeasing to him O this is a very sweet and comfortable Consideration indeed There is no such Evil in Sin to damn thee as there is Merit in Christ's Blood to save thee IX To despair of Mercy is a greater Sin than all thy other Sins This makes thee like the Devil himself It is the Glory of Divine Grace to triumph over all the Sinner's Unworthiness Resolve therefore I will yet follow God tho' I have offended him come on me what will I know he is God and not Man who can help nay will help if I come unto him Isa 57. 16. I will not contend for ever nor be always wroth for the Spirit would fail before me and the Souls that I have made Isa 41. 17. When the poor and needy seek water and there is none and their tongue faileth for thirst I the Lord will hear them I the God of Israel will not forsake them When it comes to failing fainting sinking dying then comes help Be much in Prayer and hold on waiting God may make you seek and wait a long time aye but he will certainly come and that will make amends for all X. How shall one be willing to die that hath not a sense of God's Love I answer when we can see our Love to God tho' we cannot see God's Love to us What are the Actings of our Soul towards God when we can see no Love in his Dispensations towards us As that good Man under great Afflictions and Dissatisfaction about the Love of God at last breaks out If I did not love God why do I follow him and mourn after him If thou lovest God here is ground of Comfort thou couldst not love God if he did not first love thee It was a memorable Answer of Mr. Dod to a godly Minister that said to him a little before his Death What will you say to me who am going out of the World and can find no Comfort He replied What will you say to our Saviour that was going out of the World and found no Comfort but he cried out My God my God still This Speech much refreshed that godly Minister Others of God's Children have wanted sensible Comfort at their Death yet they have been able to act Faith and to say My God my God still Tho' God's sensible Presence is not still the same yet his Word and Promise is he speaks as comfortably in his Word as ever he cannot deny his own Word God sometimes withdraws Comfort that we may prize his Word more and depend more upon that You please and honour God most when you can venture your Souls on his bare Word and Promise A Faith of Recumbency on Christ in the want of Comfort doth more honour God than the highest Faith of Assurance Why should Death be a Terror to them that fear God none need to fear Death that are escaped from the Dominion of Sin and the Devil Can you say you do not love Christ and that you do love Sin then there is cause enough for fear but this were to bely the blessed Spirit The godly hath hope in his Death A hope of Life even at the Point of Death A godly Man's hope can never fail him he may want sensible Comfort but he doth hope still Death 't is a going to God and shall a godly Man be afraid of going to his God Again it is a Sleep a Rest are weary Men afraid of rheir Rest and of going to sleep If Death be an Enemy 't is a slain Enemy Christ hath been the Death of Death And why should that have Terror in it that hath no Life in it A godly Man is a real Gainer by Death He gains more by his Death than ever he got all his Life long viz. Happiness and Joy that shall never end Again tho' Death separates Relations here yet Death can never separate the godly Man's Soul and Body from Christ Both still continue united unto Christ They sleep in Jesus God is still their God and therefore let not the Saints of God be afraid of Death XI Psal 147. 11. The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him in them that hope in his mercy Then our Prayers please God when they are put up to him in Faith and hope of his Mercy Poor trembling Souls that meditute nothing but Terror little think how it would please God to see them to hope in his Mercy They are conscious to themselves how they have displeased God but hope in God's Mercy and he will take pleasure in thee They bring most Honour to God that are most admiring and magnifying of his Mercy His Heart is most set on Mercy in all the Manifestations of it Therefore let poor drooping Souls still maintain hope in the Mercy of God through Christ XII This is certain in every afflictive Providence to Believers there is more Mercy than Wrath nay 't is all Mercy in the Issue and not in revengeful Wrath but paternal Anger They have Supports under all sometimes they may be under desertion and no comforts of God come into their Souls they are ready to say Lord why casteth thou off my Soul But then they have this to support them they can love God and mourn after his Favour tho' he seems to be gone from them they can look after him and long for his Return and this is such an effect of Grace that is more worth than the whole World Sustentation saith Mr. Baines I thank God I have tho' Suavities I have none Sickness and Sorrow and Death that are the Fruits of Sin none can be exempted from but Grace doth this for Believers The Curse the Hurt the Venom of all is taken away they are Gainers by all 2 Cor. 4. 16. Tho' our outward man c. All works for their good Others have Comforts with a Curse but Believers have Crosses with a Blessing The Guilt of Sin the Grace of God in Christ doth quite take away from all Believers Heb. 8. 12. Pardoning Mercy clears the Soul of Guilt What Comfort is this to such that by the Grace of Justification through Christ they are in God's account righteous And upon the account of Christ their Righteousness they may come into God's Presence with as assured Welcome as Adam in Paradise or the Angels now in Heaven This thou may'st be assured of that Christ will not break the bruised Reed nor quench the smoaking Flax. Tho' thy Faith be so small that it yields not Light to others nor Heat to thy own Heart yet Christ discerns and accepts it But can a Man have the Exercise of Grace and not know it fear God and not discern it I answer Yes some Graces may then be acted and discerned by others as well as at any other time He may fear God as truly and as much as ever and yet his Grace may not have Light to discover it self to him It may have a Being and working in the Heart when it 's not clear in thy Apprehension XIII Hearken unto the Voice of God O poor doubting disconsolate Sinner Why dost thou pass Sentence against thy self Thou say'st O my Sins are very many Well but the Mercies of God are far more O but my Sins are very great True but the Meroies of God are far greater O but my Sins are of long continuance True but yet thy Sins are but Sins of Time his Mercies are the Mercies of Eternity O but my Sins are greater than you are aware of they are Crimson Scarlet Sins How great are they Are they as great as the Sins of Manasseh that was a Wizard that filled Jerusalem with Blood yet God pardoned him Are they greater than the Sins of Mary Magdalen out of whom were cast seven Devils and yet God had Mercy for her O but I fear the Stock of Mercy is quite spent No his Mercy endures for ever it is from everlasting to everlasting But I have exceedingly abused Mercy yet remember that tho thou hast sinn'd against his Mercy yet thou hast not sinned above his Mercy Isa 55. 8. My thoughts are not as your thoughts nor my ways as your ways as the heavens are above the earth so are my thoughts above your thoughts and my ways above your ways FINIS * My Honoured Friend Mr. Joshua Gearing Sen.