If he do not doate on her vppon this I will neuer trust my expectation Prince Let there be the same nette spread for her and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry the sporte will be when they holde one an opinion of an others dotage and no such matter that 's the scene that I woulde see which wil be meerely a dumbe shew let vs send her to call him in to dinner Benedicke This can be no tricke the conference was sâ—dly borne they haue the trueth of this from Hero they seeme to pittie the Lady it seemes her affections haue their full bent loue me why it must be requited I heare how I am censurde they say I will beare my selfe prowdly if I perceiue the loue come from her they say too that she will rather die than giue anie signe of affection I did neuer thinke to marry I must not seeme prowd happy are they that heare their detractions and can put them to mending they say the Lady is faire us a trueth I can beare them witnesse and vertuous us so I cannot reprooue it and wise but for louing me by my troth it is no addition to her wit nor no great argument of her follie for I will be horribly in loue with her I may chaunce haue some odde quirkes and remnants of witte broken on me because I haue railed so long against marriage but doth not the appetite alter a man loues the meate in his youth that he cannot indure in his age Shall quippes and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the carreere of his humor No the world must be peopled When I saide I woulde die a batcheller I did not think I should liue til I were married here comes Beatrice by this day shee s a faire lady I doe spie some markes of loue in her Enter Beatrice Beatr. Aganst my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner Bene. Faire Beatrice I thanke you for your paines Beat. I tooke no more paines for those thankes then you take paines to thanke me if it had bin painful I would not haue come Bene. You take pleasure then in the message Beat. Yea iust so much as you may take vppon a kniues point and choake a daw withall you haue no stomach signior fare you well exit Bene. Ha against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner there 's a double meaning in that I took no more paines for those thanks theÌ„ you took pains to thank me that 's as much as to say any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks if I do not take pitty of her I am a villaine if I do not loue her I am a Iew I will go get her picture exit Enter Hero and two Gentlewomen Margaret and Ursley Hero Good Margaret runne thee to the parlour There shalt thou find my cosin Beatrice Proposing with the prince and Claudio Whisper her eare and tell her I and Vrsley Walke in the orchard and our whole discourse Is all of her say that thou ouer-heardst vs And bid her steale into the pleached bowere Where hony-suckles ripened by the sunne Forbid the sunne to enter like fauourites Made proud by princes that aduaunce their pride Against that power that bred it there will she hide her To listen our propose this is thy office Beare thee well in it and leaue vs alone Marg. I le make her come I warrant you presently Hero Now Vrsula when Beatrice doth come As we do trace this alley vp and downe Our talke must onely be of Benedicke When I do name him let it be thy part To praise him more than euer man did merite My talke to thee must be how Benedicke Is sicke in loue with Beatrice of this matter Is little Cupids crafty arrow made That onely wounds by heare-say now begin For looke where Beatrice like a Lapwing runs Close by the ground to heare our conference Enter Beatrice Ursula The pleasantst angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden ores the siluer streame And greedily deuoure the treacherous baite So angle we for Beatrice who euen now Is couched in the wood-bine couerture Feare you not my part of the dialogue Hero Then go we neare her that her eare loose nothing Of the false sweete baite that we lay for it No truly Vrsula she is too disdainfull I know her spirits are as coy and wild As haggerds of the rocke Ursula But are you sure That Benedicke loues Beatrice so intirely Hero So saies the prince and my new trothed Lord. Ursula And did they bid you tel her of it madame Hero They did intreate me to acquaint her of it But I perswaded them if they lou'de Benedicke To wish him wrastle with affection And neuer to let Beatrice know of it Vrsula Why did you so dooth not the gentleman Deserue as full as fortunate a bed As euer Beatrice shall couch vpon Hero O God of loue I know he doth deserue As much as may be yeelded to a man But nature neuer framde a womans hart Of prowder stuffe then that of Beatrice Disdaine and Scorne ride sparkling in her eies Misprising what they looke on and her wit Valewes it selfe so highly that to her All matter els seemes weake she cannot loue Nor take no shape nor proiect of affection She is so selfe indeared Vrsula Sure I thinke so And therefore certainely it were not good She knew his loue lest shee le make sport at it Hero Why you speake truth I neuer yet saw man How wise how noble yong how rarely featured But she would spel him backward if faire faced She would sweare the gentleman should be her sister If blacke why Nature drawing of an antique Made a foule blot if tall a launce ill headed If low an agot very vildly cut If speaking why a vane blowne with all winds If silent why a blocke moued with none So turnes she euery man the wrong side out And neuer giues to Truth and Vertue that Which simplenesse and merite purchaseth Vrsula Sure sure such carping is not commendable Hero No not to be so odde and from all fashions As Beatrice is cannot be commendable But who dare tell her so if I should speake She would mocke me into ayre O she would laugh me Out of my selfe presse me to death with wit Therefore let Benedicke like couerd fire Consume away in sighes waste inwardly It were a better death then die with mockes Which is as bad as die with tickling Vrsula Yet tel her of it heare what she wil say Hero No rather I will go to Benedicke And counsaile him to fight against his passion And truly I le deuise some honest slaunders To staine my cosin with one doth not know How much an ill word may impoison liking Vrsula O do not do your cosin such a wrong She cannot be so much without true iudgement Hauing so swift and excellent a wit As she is prisde to haue as to
refuse So rare a gentleman as signior Benedicke Hero He is the onely man of Italy Alwaies excepted my deare Claudio Vrsula I pray you be not angry with me madame Speaking my fancy signior Benedicke For shape for bearing argument and valour Goes formost in report through Italy Hero Indeed he hath an excellent good name Vrsula His excellence did earne it ere he had it When are you married madame Hero Why euery day to morrow come go in I le shew thee some attyres and haue thy counsaile Which is the best to furnish me to morrow Vrsula Shee s limed I warrant you We haue caught her madame Hero If it proue so then louing goes by haps Some Cupid kills with arrowes some with traps Beat. What fire is in mine eares can this be true Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorne so much Contempt farewel and maiden pride adew No glory liues behind the backe of such And Benedicke loue on I will requite thee Taming my wild heart to thy louing hand If thou dost loue my kindnesse shall incite thee To bind our loues vp in a holy band For others say thou dost deserue and I Beleeue it better then reportingly exit Enter Prince Claudio Benedicke and Leonato Prince I doe but stay til your mariage be consummate and then go I toward Arragon Claud. I le bring you thither my lord if you le vouchsafe me Prince Nay that would be as great a soyle in the new glosse of your marriage as to shew a child his new coate and forbid him to weare it I wil only be bold with Benedick for his company for from the crowne of his head to the sole of his foot he is al mirth he hath twice or thrice cut Cupides bow-string and the little hang-man dare not shoot at him he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper for what his heart thinkes his tongue speakes Bene. Gallants I am not as I haue bin Leo. So say I me thinkes you are sadder Clau. I hope he be in loue Prince Hang him truant there 's no true drop of bloud in him to be truly toucht with loue if he be sadde he wantes money Bene. I haue the tooth-ach Prince Draw it Bene. Hang it Clau. You must hang it first and draw it afterwards Prince What sigh for the tooth-ach Leon. Where is but a humour or a worme Bene. Wel euery one cannot master a griefe but he that has it Clau. Yet say I he is in loue Prince There is no appeerance of fancie in him vnlesse it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises as to be a Dutch-man to day a French-man to morrow or in the shape of two countries at once as a Germaine from the waste downward all slops and a Spaniard from the hip vpward no dublet vnlesse he haue a fancie to this foolery as it appeares he hath he is no foole for fancy as you would haue it appeare he is Clau. If he be not in loue with some woman there is no beleeuing old signes a brushes his hat a mornings what should that bode Prince Hath any man seene him at the Barbers Clau. No but the barbers man hath bin seene with him and the olde ornament of his cheeke hath already stufft tennis balls Leon. Indeed he lookes yonger than he did by the losse of a beard Prince Nay a rubs himselfe with ciuit can you smell him out by that Claud. That 's as much as to say the sweete youthe's in loue Bene. The greatest note of it is his melancholy Claud. And when was he woont to wash his face Prince Yea or to paint himselfe for the which I heare what they say of him Claud. Nay but his iesting spirit which is now crept into a lute-string and now gouernd by stops Prince Indeed that tells a heauy tale for him conclude conclude he is in loue Claud. Nay but I know who loues him Prince That would I know too I warrant one that knows him not Claud. Yes and his ill conditions and in dispight of al dies for him Prince She shall be buried with her face vpwards Bene. Yet is this no charme for the tooth-ake old signior walke aside with me I haue studied eight or nine wise wordes to speake to you which these hobby-horses must not heare Prince For my life to breake with him about Beatrice Claud. T is euen so Hero and Margaret haue by this played their parts with Beatrice and then the two beares will not bite one another when they meete Enter Iohn the Bastard Bastard My lord and brother God saue you Prince Good den brother Bastard If your leisure seru'd I would speake with you Prince In priuate Bastard If it please you yet Count Claudio may heare for what I would speake of concernes him Prince What 's the matter Bast. Meanes your Lordship to be married to morrow Prince You know he does Bast. I know not that when he knowes what I know Claud. If there be any impediment I pray you discouer it Bast. You may think I loue you not let that appeare hereafter and ayme better at me by that I now will manifest for my brother I thinke he holdes you well and in dearenesse of heart hath holpe to effect your ensuing mariage surely sute ill spent and labor ill bestowed Prince Why what 's the matter Bast. I came hither to tel you and circumstances shortned for she has bin too long a talking of the lady is disloyall Clau. Who Hero Bastar. Euen she Leonatoes Hero your Hero euery mans Hero Clau. Disloyall Bast. The word is too good to paint out her wickednesse I could say she were worse thinke you of a worse title and I wil fit her to it wonder not till further warrant go but with me to night you shall see her chamber window entred euen the night before her wedding day if you loue her then to morow wed her But it would better fitte your honour to change your mind Claud. May this be so Prince I wil not thinke it Bast. If you dare not trust that you see confesse not that you knowe if you will follow mee I will shew you enough and when you haue seene more and heard more proceede accordingly Claudio If I see anie thing to night why I should not marry her to morrow in the congregation where I should wed there will I shame her Prince And as I wooed for thee to obtaine her I wil ioyne with thee to disgrace her Bastard I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses beare it coldely but till midnight and let the issue shew it selfe Prince O day vntowardly turned Claud. O mischiefe strangely thwarting Bastard O plague right well preuented so will you say when you haue seene the sequele Enter Dogbery and his compartner with the Watch. Dog Are you good men and true Uerges Yea or else it were pitty but they should suffer saluation body and soule Dog Nay that were a punishment too good for
shame deriues it selfe from vnknowne loynes But mine and mine I loued and mine I praisde And mine that I was prowd on mine so much That I my selfe was to my selfe not mine Valewing of her why she O she is falne Into a pit of incke that the wide sea Hath drops too few to wash her cleane againe And salt too little which may season giue To her foule tainted flesh Ben. Sir sir be patient for my part I am so attired in wonder I know not what to say Beat. O on my soule my cosin is belied Bene. Lady were you her bedfellow last night Beat. No truly not although vntill last night I haue this tweluemonth bin her bedfellow Leon. Confirmd confirmd O that is stronger made Which was before bard vp with ribs of yron Would the two princes lie and Claudio lie Who loued her so that speaking of her foulenesse Washt it with teares hence from her let her die Frier Heare me a little for I haue only bin silent so long giuen way vnto this course of fortune by noting of the lady I haue markt A thousand blushing apparitions To start into her face a thousand innocent shames In angel whitenesse beate away those blushes And in her eie there hath appeard a fire To burne the errors that these princes hold Against her maiden truth call me a foole Trust not my reading nor my obseruations Which with experimental seale doth warrant The tenure of my booke trust not my age My reuerence calling nor diuinitie If this sweete ladie lie not guiltlesse here Vnder some biting errour Leonato Frier it cannot be Thou seest that al the grace that she hath left Is that she will not adde to her damnation A sinne of periury she not denies it Why seekst thou then to couer with excuse That which appeares in proper nakednesse Frier Lady what man is he you are accusde of Hero They know that do accuse me I know none If I know more of any man aliue Then that which maiden modesty doth warrant Let all my sinnes lacke mercie O my father Proue you that any man with me conuerst At houres vnmeete or that I yesternight Maintaind the change of words with any creature Refuse me hate me torture me to death Frier There is some strange misprision in the princes Bene. Two of them haue the very bent of honour And if their wisedomes be missed in this The practise of it liues in Iohn the Bastard Whose spirites toyle in frame of villanies Leonato I know not if they speake but truth of her These hands shall teare her if they wrong her honour The prowdest of them shal wel heare of it Time hath not yet so dried this bloud of mine Nor age so eate vp my inuention Nor Fortune made such hauocke of my meanes Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends But they shall find awakte in such a kind Both strength of limbe and policy of mind Ability in meanes and choise of friends To quit me of them throughly Frier Pawse awhile And let my counsell sway you in this case Your daughter here the princesse left for dead Let her awhile be secretly kept in And publish it that she is dead indeede Maintaine a mourning ostentation And on your families old monument Hang mourneful epitaphes and do all rites That appertaine vnto a buriall Leon. What shall become of this what will this do Frier Mary this well caried shall on her behalfe Change slaunder to remorse that is some good But not for that dreame I on this strange course But on this trauaile looke for greater birth She dying as it must be so maintaind Vpon the instant that she was accusde Shal be lamented pittied and excusde Of euery hearer for it so falls out That what we haue we prize not to the worth Whiles we enioy it but being lackt and lost Why then we racke the valew then we find The vertue that possession would not shew vs Whiles it was ours so will it fare with Claudio When hee shall heare she died vpon his words Th Idaea of her life shall sweetly creepe Into his study of imagination And euery louely Organ of her life Shall come apparelld in more precious habite More moouing delicate and full of life Into the eie and prospect of his soule Then when she liude indeed then shall he mourne If euer loue had interest in his liuer And wish he had not so accused her No though he thought his accusation true Let this be so and doubt not but successe Will fashion the euent in better shape Then I can lay it downe in likelihood But if all ayme but this be leuelld false The supposition of the ladies death Will quench the wonder of her infamie And if it sort not wel you may conceale her As best befits her wounded reputation In some reclusiue and religious life Out of all eies tongues minds and iniuries Bene. Signior Leonato let the Frier aduise you And though you know my inwardnesse and loue Is very much vnto the prince and Claudio Yet by mine honor I will deale in this As secretly and iustly as your soule Should with your body Leon. Being that I flow in griefe The smallest twine may leade me Frier T is wel consented presently away For to strange sores strangely they straine the cure Come lady die to liue this wedding day Perhaps is but prolong'd haue patience and endure exit Bene. Lady Beatrice haue you wept al this while Beat. Yea and I will weep a while longer Bene. I will not desire that Beat. You haue no reason I do it freely Bene. Surely I do beleeue your faire consin is wronged Beat. Ah how much might the man deserue of me that would right her Bene. Is there any way to shew such friendship Beat. A very euen way but no such friend Bene. May a man do it Beat. It is a mans office but not yours Bene. I doe loue nothing in the worlde so well as you is not that strange Beat. As strange as the thing I knowe not it were as possible for me to say I loued nothing so wel as you but beleue me not and yet I lie not I confesse nothing nor I deny nothing I am sory for my coosin Bened. By my sword Beatrice thou louest me Beat. Do not sweare and eate it Bened. I will sweare by it that you loue me and I wil make him eate it that sayes I loue not you Beat. Will you not eate your word Bened. With no sawce that can be deuised to it I protest I loue thee Beat. Why then God forgiue me Bened. VVhat offence sweete Beatrice Beat. You haue stayed me in a happy houre I was about to protest I loued you Bened. And do it with all thy heart Beat. I loue you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest Bened. Come bid me doe any thing for thee Beat. Kill Claudio Bened. Ha not for the wide world Beat. You kill me to deny it farewell