post Ball. Well villany Thou wilt not thrive Sir for 't was you I wrong'd I do confesse the sword by which I rais'd So strange a scandal on you was by me Stoln from your Page as he delivered letters From you to your Techmessa and the plot Was fashion'd by her mother though ill fortune Made me th' unlucky instrument Asot. Cursed Tutour Thou hast read nothing to me worth the learning But the high-way to th' gallows There shall we Hang up like vermine Little did I think To make the women weep and sob to see Th' untimely end of two such proper men This mouth was never made to stand awry And sure my neck was long enough before Lady upon my humbled knees I beg Pardon for faults committed I acknowledge That striving with fellonious intent To steal a kisse or two from your sweet lips From your sweet eare I stole a ring away Paeg. For which your sweet neck must endure the halter Tyn. I am again thy servant mighty love O my Evadne how shall I appeare So bold as but to plead in mine own cause It is so foul that none can seal my pardon But you that should condemne me Evad. Sir you know The power I have is yours be your own judge And seal your pardon here Tyn. 'T is double life Granted by such a seal Tech. What punishment Shall we inflict on these Asot. Gentle Ladie E'ne what you please but hanging that 's a death My enemies will hit me in the teeth with Besides it makes a man look like a Cat When she cries mew Ball. I 'le bark and bite awhile Before the dogs death choak me Asot. Pray dismisse This pack of hounds and since we both are guilty Let us bestow on one anothers shoulders The good and wholsome counsell of a cudgell Paeg. Pray let me intercede Asot. Thanks prety little Gentleman Tyn. Officers you are discharged Asot. Are the madde dogs gone Exeunt officers Come Tutour I must read awhile to you Under correction Not so hard good Tutour Tyn. Enough Asot. Nay one bout I beseech you more To make up satisfaction Ball. Well for this I 'le have one engine more my bad intents Mend not but gather strength by punishments Tyn. Your satisfaction now is full and ample Asot. Nay we must have the health i' th' crabtree-cup too One to th' Tyndarides another to th' Asotides And one my deare instructour to the Techmessides Pam. Nay now your penance doth exceed your crime Asot. Say you so nay then here 's a health to the Pamphilides too And for his noble sake to the Evadnides And all Philosophy sects what e're they be Evad. Your justice to your selves is too severe Asot. Then I ha' done farewell and hearty thanks But Tutour stay this little Gentleman Has been forgot Pray Sir what may I call you Paeg. My name is Paegnium Asot. I were most unthankfull To passe o're you To the Paegniades Tutour You have brought us to a fair passe Tutour Ball. Tush 'T was but to exercise your passive valour Asot. Your passive valour give me your active valour I do not like your black and blue valour When bones shall ake with magnanimity Exeunt Asot. Ball Paeg SCEN. IX. Tyndarus Pamphilus Evadne Techmessa Tyn. BRother I finde my soul a troubled sea Whose billows are not fully quieted Although the storm be over Therefore Pamphilus By the same wombe that bred us and the breasts Of our dead mother Lalage I conjure thee With all the charms that love can teach thee Assault Evadnies faith if thou report her Constant I end my jealousie if frail The torrent of my love shall bend his course To finde some other chanel Pam. By that love That made us twins though born at severall births That grew along with us in height and strength I will be true Farewell Tyn. Be sudden Pamphilus Exit Tyn. Evad. Me thinks this should confirm you Tech. That he was not Guilty of this acquits him not of all To prove a man free from an act of theft Assoils him not of murder No no sister Tempt him with kisses and what other dalliance Craft and indulgent nature hath taught woman To raise hot youth to appetite if he yeeld not I will put off distrust I do not know Whom I durst trust but you Evad. Though mine own love Finde me enough of businesse yet in hope That you will second me in my occasions I undertake the task Tech. Take heed Evadne Lest while you counterfeit a flame you kindle A reall fire I dare not be too confident Hence will I closely pry into their actions And overheare their language for if my sister See with my eyes she cannot choose but love him In the same height with me SCEN. X. Pamphilus Evadne Techmessa in insidiis Pam. IT grieves me that a Lady of your worth Young soft and active as the spring the starre And glory of our nation should be prodigall Of your affections and misplace your love On a regardlesse boy Evad. Sir the same pitie I must return on you Were I a man Whom all the Ladies might grow rivals for As lesse you cannot be I would not lose My service to a Mistresse of so coy And proud an humour True she is my sister But the same wombe produces severall natures I should have entertain'd so great a blessing With greater thankfulnesse Pam. That my starres should be So crosse unto my happinesse Evad. And my fate So cruell to me Pam. Sweet it is in us To turn the wheel of Fortune she 's a goddesse That has no deity where discretion reignes Evad. But shall I wrong my sister Pam. Do not I Give just exchange and lose a brother for her Our sufferings have been equall and their prides They must be equall necks that can draw even In the same yoke Evad. I have observ'd the chariot Of the great Cyprian Queen links not together The dove with sparrows but the turtle joynes With turtles and the sparrow has his mate Pam. See if one softnesse kisse not in our lips Evad. One lip not meets the other with more sympathy Then yours met mine Pam. Let 's make the second triall SCEN. XI. Techmessa Pamphilus Evadne Tech. I Can endure no longer Gentle sister Evad. I cannot blame your jealousie for I finde Tech. Too much of sweetnesse in his amorous lips There is no tie in nature faith in bloud Is but a thing that should be Brothers sisters Fathers and mothers are but specious names Of love and dutie you and I have been But guests in the same wombe that at first meeting Change kinde and friendly language and next morning Fall out before they part or at least ride Contrary rodes Evad. Will you then misconster The service I perform'd at your request Tech. Henceforth I 'le set the Kite to keep my chickens And make the Wolf my shepheard SCEN. XII. Evadne Techmessa Pamphilus Tyndarus Tyn. PAmphilus how is 't Pam. I know not how to answer thee She met me
daughter Was not so fair Ball. His mother Asot. 'T is no matter The silly damsell understands no Poetrie Daigne me thy lippe as blue as azure bright Ball. As red as ruby bright Asot. What 's that to th' purpose Is not azure blue as good as ruby red Evad. It is not charitable mirth to mock A wretched Ladies griefs The gods are just And may requite you with a scorn as great As that you throw on me Asot. Not kisse a Gentleman And my father worth thousands Resolution Spurre me to brave atchievements Evad. Such a rudenesse Some Ladies by the valour of their servants Could have redeem'd Ungentle god of love Write not me down among the happier names I onely live a martyr in thy flames Exit Asot. This is such a masculine feminine gender Ball. She is an Amazon both stout and tall Asot. Yet I got this by strugling If I fit you not a diamound ring out of her eare Proud squeamish coynesse Tutour such an itch Of kissing runnes all o're me I 'le to Phryne And fool away an houre or two in dalliance Ball. Go I must stay to wait on fair Techmessa Who is as jealous of young Pamphilus As Tyndarus of Evadne Asot. Surely Tutour I must provide me a suit of jealousie It will be all the fashion SCEN. IX. Techmessa Ballio Tech. BLesse me what uncouth fancies tosse my brain As in yon' arbour sleep had cloz'd mine eies Me thought within a flowrie plain were met A troup of Ladies and my self was one Amongst them rose a challenge whose soft foot Should gentliest presse the grasse and quickest run The prize for which they strove the heart of Pamphilus The victory was doubtfull All perform'd Their course with equall speed and Pamphilus Was chosen judge to end the controversie Me thought he shar'd his heart and dealt a piece To every Lady of the troup but me It was unkindly done Ball. I have descried Tech. What Ballio Ball. A frost in his affections To you but heat above the rage of Dog-dayes To any other peticoat in Thebes I do not think but were the pox a woman He would not stick to court it Tech. O my soul Thou hast descried too much How sweet it is To live in ignorance Ball. I did sound him home And with such words profan'd your reputation Would whet a cowards sword One that ne're saw you Rebuk'd my slanderous tongue I feel the crab-tree still While he sat still unmov'd Tech. It cannot be Ball. I 'le undertake he shall resigne his weapon And forsweare steel in any thing but knives Rather then venture one small scratch to salve Your wounded honour or to prove you chaste Encounter with a pin Tech. I am no common mistresse nor have need To entertain a multitude of champions To draw in my defence Yet had he lov'd me He could not heare me injur'd with such patience Ballio one triall more bring me his sword Rather resign'd then drawn in my defence And I shall rest confirm'd Ball. Here 's a fine businesse What shall I do go to a cutlers shop And buy a sword like that O 't will not do Tech. Will you do this Ball. It is resolv'd I will One way or other Wit at a dead lift help me SCEN. X. Paegnium Techmessa Ballio Paeg. MAdam the wretched Pamphilus Tech. What of him Paeg. Is through your cruelty and suspicion dead Ball. That news revives me Tech. Haste Techmessa then What dost thou here when Pamphilus is dead Cast off this robe of clay my soul and flie To overtake him bear him company To the Elysian groves the journey thither Is dark and melancholy do not suffer him To go alone Paeg. Madam I joy to see With how much sorrow you receive his death I will restore you comfort Pamphilus lives Ball. If Pamphilus live then Ballio 's dead again Tech. Do you put tricks upon me we shall have you On a little counterfeit sorrow and a few drops Of womans teares go and perswade your master I am deeply in love with him Paeg. If you be not You ought in justice Tech. I 'le give thee a new feather And tell me what were those three Ladies names Your master entertain'd last night Paeg Three Ladies Tech. You make it strange now Paeg. Madam by all oaths My master bears a love so firmly constant To you and onely you he talks thinks dreams Of nothing but Techmessa When he heares The sound of your blest name he turns Chamaeleon And lives on that sweet aire Here he has sent me he layes down his sword to pull out his letters With letters to you which I should deliver I know not nor himself for first he writes And when that letter likes him not begins A second stile and so a third and fourth And thus proceeds then reades 'um over all And knows not which to send perchance tears all The paper was not fair enough to kisse So white a hand that letter was too big A line uneven all excuse prevail'd Language or phrase or word or syllable That he thought harsh and rough I have heard him wish Above all blessings heaven can bestow So strange a fancie has affection taught him That he might have a quill from Cupids wing Dipt in the milk of Venus to record Your praises and his love I have brought you here Whole packets of affection Ball. Blessed occasion he steals away the sword Here is a conquest purchas'd without bloud Though strength and valour fail us yet we see There may a field be won by policie Exit Tech. Go Paegnium tell your master I could wish That I was his but bid him choose another Tell him he has no hope e're to enjoy me Yet bid him not despair I do not doubt His constant love to me Yet I suspect His zeal more fervent to some other saint Say I receive his letters with all joy But will not take the pains to read a syllable Exit Paeg. If I do not think women were got with ridling whippe me Hocas pocas here you shall have me and there you shall have me A man cannot finde out their meaning without the siéve and sheers I conceive 'um now to be engendred of nothing but the winde and the weather-cock What my sword gone Ha! Well This same pandarly-rogue Ballio has got it he sows suspicions of my master here because he cudgels him into manners And that old scold Dypsas hires him to it How could such a devil bring forth such an Angel as my Lady Techmessa unlesse it were before her fall I know all their plots and yet they cannot see 'um Heaven keep me from love and preserve my eye-sight Go plot Enginners plot on I 'le work a countermine and 't will be brave An old rogue over-reach'd by a young knave Exit ACTUS II. SCEN. I. Asotus Ballio Asot. REvenge more sweet then muscadine and egges To day I will embrace thee Healths in bloud Are souldiers mornings draughts Proud proud Evadne Shall know what 't is to make
inhabitant of the grave that had his house broke open accus'd the thief of Burglarie Look here This is a Lawyers skull There was a tongue in 't once a damnable eloquent tongue that would almost have perswaded any man to the gallows This was a turbulent busie fellow till death gave him his Quietus est And yet I ventured to rob him of his gown and the rest of his habillements to the very buckrum-bag not leaving him so much as a poore half-peny to pay for his wafrage and yet the good man ne're repin'd at it Had he been alive and were to have pleaded against me how would he have thundred it Behold most grave Judges a fact of that horrour and height in sinne so abominable so detestable in the eyes of heaven and earth that never any but this dayes cause presented to the admiration of your eares I cannot speak it without trembling 't is so new so unus'd so unheard-of a villanie But that I know your Lordships confident of the honestie of your poore Oratour I should not hope by all my reasons grounds testimonies arguments and perswasions to gain your belief This man said I man this monster rather but monster is too easie a name this devil this incarnate devil having lost all honesty and abjur'd the profession of vertue Rob'd a sinne in the action But who The dead What need I aggravate the fault the naming the action is sufficient to condemne him I say he rob'd the dead The dead Had he rob'd the living it had been more pardonable but to rob the dead of their clothes the poore impotent dead that can neither card nor spin nor make new ones O 't is most audacious and intolerable Now you have well spoke why do you not after all this Rhetorick put your hand behinde you to receive some more instructions backward Now a man may clappe you o' th' coxcombe with his spade and never stand in fear of an action of batterie Staph. For this one time husband I am induced but insooth I will not make a common practise of it Knock you up that coffin and I 'le knock up this Rich and glorious Sex Bright as the sunne Come we must strip you Gallants the worms care not for having the dishes serv'd up to their table cover'd O O O! Tyndarus and Techmessa rise from the coffins and the Sexton and his wife affrighted fall into a swoon Staph. Heaven shield me O O O! SCEN. V. Tyndarus and Techmessa Tyn. HOw poore a thing is man whom death it self Cannot protect from injuries O ye gods Is 't not enough our wretched lives are toss'd On dangerous seas but we must stand in fear Of Pyrates in the haven too Heaven made us So many buts of clay at which the gods In cruell sport shoot miseries Yet I hope Their spleen 's grown milder and this blest occasion Offers it self an earnest of their mercy Their sinnes have furnisht us with fit disguises To quiet our perplexed souls Techmessa Let me aray you in this womans robes I 'le weare the Sextons garments in exchange Our sheets and coffins shall be theirs Tech. Deare Tyndarus In all my life I never found such peace As in this coffin it presented me The sweets that death affords Man has no libèrtie But in this prison Being once lodg'd here He 's fortified in an impregnable fort Through which no doubts suspicions jealousies No sorrows cares or wilde distractions Can force an entrance to disturb our sleeps Tyn. Yet to those prisons will we now commit These two offenders Tech. But what benefit Shall we enjoy by this disguise Tyn. A great one If my Evadne or thy Pamphilus E're lov'd us living they will haste to make Atonement for our souls stain'd with the guilt Of our own bloud if not they will rejoyce Our deaths have opened them so cleare a passage To their close loves and with those thoughts possess'd They will forget the torments hell provides For those that leave the warfare of this life Without a passe from the great Generall Tech. I hope they may prove constant Tyn. So pray I I will desire you statue be so courteous To part with 's beard a while So we are now Beyond discovery Sex O O O! Staph. O O O! Tyn. Let 's use a charm for these Quiet sleep or I will make Erinnys whip thee with a snake And cruell Rhadamanthus take Thy body to the boyling lake Where fire and brimstone never slake Thy heart shall burn thy head shall ake And every joynt about thee quake And therefore dare not yet to wake Tech. Quiet sleep or thou shalt see The horrid bags of Tartarie Whose tresses ugly serpents be And Cerberus shall bank at thee And all the Furies that are three The worst is call'd Tisiphone Shall lash thee to eternitie And therefore sleep thou peacefully Tyn. But who comes hither Ballio what 's his businesse SCEN. VI. Ballio Tyndarus Techmessa Ball. SExton I 'le open first thine eares with these To make 'um sit to let perswasions in Tyn. These Sir will cure my deafnesse Ball. Art thou mine Tyn. Sir you have bought me Ball. I 'le pay double for thee Shall I prevail in my request Tyn. Ask these Ball. Th' art apprehensive to the purpose then Have you not in the temple some deep vault Ordain'd for buriall Tyn. Yes Ball. Then I proceed We have to night perform'd the last of service That piety can pay to our dead friends Tyn. 'T was charitably done Ball. We brought 'um hither To their last home Now Sir they both being guilty Of their own deaths I fear the laws of Thebes Deny 'um buriall It would grieve me Sir For friendship cannot be so soon forgot Especially so firm a one as ours To have 'um cast a prey to Wolves and Eagles Sir these religious thoughts have brought me hither Now at the dead of night to intreat you To cast their coffins into some deep vault And to interre 'um O my Tyndarus All memory shall fail me e're my thoughts Can leave th' impression of that love I beare thee Thou left'st me half of all the land thou hadst And should I not provide thee so much earth As I can measure by thy length heaven curse me Tyn. Sir if your courtesie had not bound me yours This act of goodnesse had Ball. So true a friend No age records Farewell This work succeeds Posterity that shall this story get May learn from hence an art to counterfeit Exit Ball SCEN. VII. Tyndarus Techmessa Tyn. HEre was a strange deliverance who can be So confident of fortune as to say I now am safe Tech. This villain has reveal'd All our designes to Pamphilus and Evadne And they with bribes and hopes of an inheritance If you were dead indeed have won this rascall To this black treason What foul crimes can Lust Prompt her base vassals to Here let us end Our busie search and travell o're the world To see if any cold and Northern climat Have
entertain'd lost Vertue long since fled Our warmer countrey Tyn. Ha! 'T is so 'T is so I see it with cleare eyes O cursed plot And are you brooding crocodiles I may chance To break the serpents egge e're you have hatch'd The viper to perfection Come Techmessa My anger will no longer be confin'd To patient silence Tedious expectation Is but a foolish fire by night that leads The traveller out on 's way Break forth my wrath Break like a deluge of consuming fire And scorch 'um both to ashes in a flame Hot as their lust No 'T is too base a bloud For me to spill Let 'um e'ne live t' ingender A brood of monsters May perpetuall jealousie Wait on their beds and poyson their embraces With just suspicions may their children be Deform'd and fright the mother at the birth May they live long and wretched all mens hate And yet have misery enough for pity May they be long a dying of diseases Painfull and loathsome Passion do not hurrie me To this unmanly womanish revenge Wilt thou curse Tyndarus when thou wear'st a sword But ha heark observe SCEN. VIII. Pamphilus Evadne Tyndarus Techmessa Pam. VVAit till we call Heaven if thou hast not emptied all thy treasury Of wrath upon me here I challenge thee To lay on more What torments hast thou left In which thou hast not exercis'd my patience Yet cast up all th' accounts of all my sorrows And the whole summe is trebled in the losse Of deare Techmessa Tech. If this grief were reall Tyn. Be not too credulous Pam. I have stood the rest Of your afflictions with this one I fell Fell like a rock that had repell'd the rage Of thousand violent billows and withstood Their fierce assaults untill the working Tide Had undermin'd him then he falls and draws Part of the mountain with him Evad. Pamphilus When did you see my sweet-heart prithee tell me Is he not gone a Maying he will bring me Some pincks and daysies home to morrow morning Pray heaven he meet no theeves Pam. Alas Evadne Thy Tyndarus is dead Evad. What shall I do I cannot live without him Tyn. I am mov'd Yet I will make this triall full and perfect What at this dismall houre when nothing walks But souls tormented calls you from your sheets To visit our dark cells inhabited By death and melancholy Evad. I am come To seek my true-love here Did you not see him He 's come to dwell with you pray use him well He was a proper Gentleman Tech. Sir what cause Inforc'd you hither Pam. I am come to pay The tribute of my eyes to a dead Love Tyn. Fair Lady may I ask one question of you Did you admit no love into your bosome But onely his Evad. Alas you make me weep Could any woman love a man but him No Tyndarus I will not long outlive thee We will be married in Elysium And arm in arm walk through th' -blessed groves And change a thousand kisses you sha'nt see us Tyn. I know not whether it be joy or grief Forces teares from me Tech. Were you constant Sir To her whose death you now so much lament For by those prodigies and apparitions That have to night shak'd the foundations Of the whole temple your inconstancy Hath caus'd your Mistresses untimely end Pam. The Sunne shall change his course and finde new paths To drive his chariot in The Load-stone leave His faith unto the North The Vine withdraw Those strict embraces that infold the Elme In her kinde arms But if I change my love From my Techmessa may I be recorded To all posterity Loves great Apostate In Cupids annalls Evad. If you see my Tyndarus Pray tell him I will make all haste to meet him I will but weep a while first Tyn. Pretie sorrow Tech. Sir you may veil your falshood in smooth language And gild it o're with fair hypocrisie But here has been such grones Ghosts that have cried In hollow voices Pamphilus O false Pamphilus Revenge on Pamphilus Such complaints as these The gods ne're make in vain Pam. Then there is witch-craft in 't And are the gods Made parties too against me Pardon then If I grow stubborn While they prest my shoulders No more then I could beare they willingly Submitted to the burden Now they wish To cast it off What treacherie has brib'd you Celestiall forms to be my false accusers I chalenge you for you can view my thoughts And reade the secret characters of my heart Give in your verdict did you ever finde Another image graven in my soul Besides Techmessa No! 'T is hell has forg'd These flie impostures all these plots are coyn'd Out of the devils mintage Tech. Certainly There 's no false fire in this Tyn. These cannot be Evad. Pray Sir direct me where I may embalm My Tyndarus with my teares Tyn. There gentle Lady Evad. Is this a casket fit to entertain A jewell of such value Pam. Where must I Pay my devotions Tech. There your dead Saint lies Evad. Hail Tyndarus may earth but lightly presse thee And mayst thou finde those joyes thou art gone to taste As true as my affection Now I know Thou canst not choose but love me and with longing Expect my quick arrivall for the soul Freed from the cloud of flesh clearely discerns Forms in their perfect nature If there be A guilt upon thy bloud thus I 'le redeem it offers to kill herself And lay it all on mine Tyn. What mean you Lady Evad. Stay not my pious hand Tyn. Your impious rather If you were dead who then were left to make Lustration for his crime shall foolish zeal Perswade you to a hasty death and so Leave Tyndarus to eternity of flames Evad. Pardon me Tyndarus I will onely see That office done and then I 'le follow thee Pam. Thou gentle soul of my deceased love If thou still hoverst here abouts accept The vows of Pamphilus If I ever think Of woman with affection but Techmessa Or keep the least spark of a love alive But in her ashes let me never see Those blessed fields where gentle lovers walk In endlesse joyes Why do I idlely weep I 'le write my grief in bloud Tech. What do you mean Pam. Techmessa I am yet withheld but suddenly I 'le make escape to finde thee Tech. O blest minute SCEN. IX. Dypsas Tyndarus Evadne Pamphilus Techmessa Dyps. WHere shall I flie to hide me from my guilt It follows me like those that run away From their own shadows that which I would shun I beare about me Whom shall I appease The living or the dead for I have injur'd Both you and them O Tyndarus here I kneel And do confesse my self thy cruel murdresse And thine Techmessa Gentle daughter pardon me But how shall I make satisfaction That have but one poore life and have lost two Oh Pamphilus my malice ruin'd thee But most Evadne for at her I aim'd Because she is no issue of my wombe But trusted by her father to my care