tooke him not about the necke kissed him he would neuer marry with her as long as he liued Which yâ— yong Gentlewoman refused to doe partely for that he had iniured her highly but yâ— rather least such fondnes should séeme immodestie to the seruants vpon whose denial in a great fume he slung forth of the doores and in a rage as if of spight within one fortnight after he matcht with the widdowe aforesaid But to tell you what a life she lead with him were to hunt from the purpose yet assure your selfe it was so bad as yâ— world iudged this maid neuer better blest then in not being bestowed ne cast away vpon him Such and of the same sorte are these money-woers that sue first to the Father to saue labour for spéede they will and if they misse in one place they knowe another where they will practise And how can it be iudged otherwise séeing their meaning in vsing that meane importes no lesse for thinke they if I haue the Fathers good will the daughter will be easilie wonne and if I misse of his I saue that time and labour in suing to the maide besides the giftes I should bestowe Ha ha I haue him by sent and what thinke you of him in faith no otherwise then Honestie beléeues You smell a Foxe I and a ranke one too whose breach is so stainde with this gilding matter as it may easely bée iudged what muck hée loues Alas good hearts that are coupled with such bad mindes this is loue true but what loue couetous loue hatefull dissimulation hipocriticall affection and what not that is contrarie to the swéete soueraigne loue which sues for kisses and not for coâ—ne which craues the heart nothing eâ—se for with it al she hath is his and he that wil looke for more I would he had a halter and he shall not want it in hell howsoeuer he spéedes here Fie fie mariages for the most part are at this day so made as looke how the butcher bies his cattel so wil men sel their children He that bids most shal spéed soonest so he hath money we care not a fart for his honestie Well it hath not béen so and I hope it wil not be long so I wil assure you loues common-wealth wil neuer florish vntil it be otherwise Why it is a common practize to aske the father what hée will giue with his childe and what is that differing from cheapening an Ore And it is as common that if she be fat it is a bargaine but if leane she must stay another customer Out alas what loue is this in faith if I might haue sped better in another place come to notice after I haue bought your daughter she shall pay for it or I will make dice on her bones Apittifull partenership where there is no greater loue and how can but one of them be vndone He will vse her ill because he loues her not and shée cannot loue him for not vsing her well for whome we feare we hate and what then Hée will practise her ende she will wish his death and while they liue together it will be so full of heart breakings through quarrels and contentions as woe to them both I and to the third too that was so forward to make so bad a matche But howsoeuer they two spéede I am assured shée will spéede worse as for hir husband he will not want ercuses to defend his knauerie and hir Father must beléeue him because of hir former credit giuen vnto him so that contented she must be how discontented so euer she liues and beare it she must vntill her hart breake which happie day must ende her miserie and set my craftie wooer at libertie Thus much for my second corner and now to my third couple which were ciuilly seated on a benche together they being the one a batcheler and the other a widdowe which was wooed by him after this like order It were follie forséeth quoth he to vse circumstances since you are so well acquainted with the like practize but to leaue them and come to the matter which is as I thinke the best meane to please vs both you shall vnderstand that vpon the good reporte your honest life hath deserued I haue conceiued so good liking of you as I should thinke my selfe happie if I should spéede no worsse I thanke you answered she for your good will but surely Sir I thinke you haue deceiued your selfe For peraduenture you imagine or it hath béen vntruely reported that I am the woman which indéede I am not namely ritche for that my deceased husband made some showe to the world but if that bée your thought I assure you you are deceiued You mistake my meaning replied hée for it is no such matter I respect not so much your wealth as I doo your matronlike modestie my selfe is young and I haue a trade and am I thanke God of my selfe able to maintaine a woman But I doo rather desire to match with your like then with a younger for that you knowe better both what belongs to a man as also to vse thriftely what I get And moreouer my selfe is not so young but that I am meeter to match with a widdâ—we then to marrie with a maide and would be most glad if it might be my good happe to speede with you I cannot tell quoth she what your good speede may be I knowe you not and therefore I hope you will giue me leaue to enquire of you which done I will send you your answere by such a day in the meane time I wish you well I mary Honestie what then no marry these forth she went to her broker to will him to search after his substance vsing that manner which vsurers can best disclose which is their practise in putting forth their money This was a passing commoditie for what better then a ritche widdowe but that foolish enquirie spoyled all had shee thankt him heartily desired farther libertie and had made search into his estate secretly shee had shewed her selfe the wiser but so bluntly to saie giue mee leaue to enquire of you shewed as bad bringing vp as might bee possible But tut I like her the better because she could not dissemble for she alas did but followe the common trade dooing with the ape but what she had seene done before her She had heard her husband instruct his prentices to make a profit and she thought she might trie the same for her own good I would shee and others knewe what was good for them they would then rather respect the man then money But this couetousnes spoyles all though I would I had more is too much in our mouthes for followed she not the greedie desire of adding muck to much might shee not as well haue liued with this man that had a trade as good yea much better then her husbands was as shee did before with him Shee had no children suppose she had they were prouided
not to enquire after one that had most wealth and should some children entertaine no loue in our time vntill their parents procured it nor sue for a match before their fréends made it it were requisite their honestie should be great or I knowe what will follow Yet againe Fathers liue not now adaies ordinarily aboue a hundred yéeres whereby they haue a long lasting gouernement ouer their Children but beholde it is far contrary and therefore it requires contrary procéedings And lastly for that I will not be long at this time in this matter the holy writ beares not such sway in our consciences as it workt wonders in theirs of those daies and therefore to helpe our weaknes in the want of that warrant we must vse the meanes loue to drawe vs to that euerlasting happines But once more to my courting companions to make as spéedie an end with them whose haire-braine fancying and fickle affection is no small hindrance to loues procéedings Honestie hauing set downe the meanes to finde out their knauerie hath also prouided a batte to beate downe such flatterie the instrument to finde out their dissimulation being a search into their lingring and the clubbe to match their clubbe féete a loathing of their company But to come to the punishment I would haue such to be plagued with in my opinion and by Honesties doome they are worthie to be set for scarre-crowes in newe sowen fieldes and the rather thus goes my iudgement for that séeing they are so skilfull to doo harme in townes and cities if that bad-used wit were forst to be imployed about that commodious doo-good they would inuent excellent meanes to preuent the spoyle the rauenous birds commit Their pregnant wits and cunning deuices to catch womens affections that farre excéede crowes in reason and discretion confirme they would be strange and therefore profitable yet because it is somewhat too bace though their practises are as beastly I will ende with them with this resolution That they are as worthie to stand in white-shéetes in Churches for leauing women in desperate cases hauing drawen them into that fooles paradice of ouer-passionate affection as they that poyson strangers bellies This would make faithfull sutors happie constant louers ioyfull and conrting dissemblers feareful Honestie hauing noted these enormities harbored in lewde dispositions shuffled into this Morrice at last lent his eares and bestowed his eyes ioyning with him his best vnderstanding to search into the natures of yâ— remnant to see whether yâ— multitud were mixed with these in bad conceits But behold so contrarie practizes were performed by them as those procéedings are disagréeing to the furtherance of perfect vnitie Amongst these did I beholde Loue dandled with swéete musick and constant affection vpholâ—â—n with modest demeanour The soueraignes of Virginitie displayed their heauenly dignitie by the imperiall colours of matchles beautie grounde with the Ambrosian oyle of celestiall courtesie and the matronly deities proued their ethereall discréetnes in following the heauens prescriptioÌ„ for Loues true imitation I saw Kindenes matched with Goodwill Affection linâ—ed vnto Liking Loue embraced with Loyaltie Vertue leading theÌ„ to eternall happines They liked not for a moment loued not vpon aduantage nor wooed but with a good intention These shaked not hands with hatefull hearts nor vsed smoothe tongues with dissembling thoughts They courted not kindely to corrupt shamefully ne protested with vowes to wound with wordes and kill with déeds but hand and heart went together and the tongue vttered their passionate conceites their heart louing them as faithfully as their tongue labored to winne their courtesie And you no earthly creatures though ioyned with men for their eternall good you heauenly saints I meane masking in the shadowes of terrestriall shapes you beautifie this crue with your deuine motions whose mindes arâ— onely inritched with the true wisdome that vpholdes Loues welfare Your sacred actions ayde his simple followers naught but your carefull kindnes binds mens weake affections from vnconstancie You make their praiers effectuall their request gayning through you the safetie of their longing Your pittie brings them to pietie and your almes relieues them from the captiuitie of Despaire Destressed Honestie is soly harbored within your milke-white bosomes and were it not for your bountifull charitie his end would be tormenting beggerie Your allablaster pappes do wholy minister moisture to my consuming welfare and from their sugered teates doe I onely drawe my liquor of life so that by your motherly kindnes to decaying Honestie they reape likewise their blisse that would giue mée my baine recouering contrarie to their wils the remaynder of their weale For how marcheth the passionate souldier without you sound the alarome of his good-spéede or how fareth the amorous gallant except you play the galliard of acceptance Vnfortunate eyes your pearcing fightes shal be cruelly curst and vnnaturall vsage shall be offered to your obedient hearts for séeing and adoring celestiall obiects vnles their relenting pittie take mercie on your destressed abiects And blaspheming tongue thy vnbridled impudencie shall heape vpon thy owne back a bundle of vntollerable miseries by being forced to vtter execrable slaunders against them for their hard hearts that were purchased to worke your hard happe through your owne iniurious follie Passions of discontent must please your fancies and sorrowfull poems must grace your musick déep sighes must straine your heart-strings and direfull sorrowe lull you a sléepe when visions of new destresses must disquiet your greatest happines and dreames of fresh vexations forbid you the least ease You shall suc in vaine because you haue delighted in vanitie and hope without obtaining for that your heart haue harbored dissembling except these goddesses whose goodnes is vnspeakable vouchsafe to minister a plaster of pitty to your louing pietie It is their courtesie that must make you chereful and their good conceits must cherish your dying mirth their liking must honour your affection and their gratefull kindnes must aduance the zeale of your protested loyaltie It is in their choyse to change your chance and in their power to bridle Fortune for that the Fates being their sisters are at their calles to set downe your destinies If they say they doe hate you beware for they can hurt you but if they affirme they loue you striue to continue your present happines and feare to lose the proffered blessednes Why are women accounted weake but because their nature is pure Or wherefore are they necessarie but that men cannot liue without their companie When we are succorles they comfort vs being melancholy they chéere vs and they are the meanes to redéeme vs from the gates of hell Being mad their musicall tongues chase away the euill spirits being bewitched their loue charmes the tormenting diuels and being swallowed vp by the gulfe licentiousnes the heauens haue created theÌ„ the helpe to redéeme vs from that hellish furnace Thus much for their power now a little of their properties O sacred mercie neuer more
honored then in the pittifull bosomes of these feminine deities thou holds thy chief harborow within their passionate besomes only art nourished in their relenting harts Thou singst within the closets of their pittifull consciences reioycest within the castles of their celestiall soules thou liuest with them secure and makes through them multitudes of miserable wretches possessors of the highest happines Thou beares the sighes of suing swéet-hearts comforts the pinching griefe of pining louers Thou meditates of their vowes and studies to requite their carefull affection with kindest curtesie Thou pittiest the foolish maladies of fond nouices sorrowest at the weaknes of many mens wisdome Thou striuest to do no wrong that thou maist be frée from iniurie and labours to shunne suspect that thou maist bee without misdoubt Thou studiest to repay that thou maist reape thy due and kéepest thy day that thou maist bee well dealt with Yea much more and so much the better for man thou pitties them that would spoile thée and forgiues them that would hurt thée thou wishest them well that would dereaue thée of thy weale louest them which is thy only fault ouer entirely that estéeme of thy proffered kindnes too too carelesly Yet let discretiō haue the second place with you for she guides them by reason and that gouerns men with wisdome She knowes when to charme with swéete melodie and when to correct with louing perswasions she vseth to dandle vertue and reproue vice to embrace good and flie from euill and willingly to subiect obedient imitation to holsome counsell as also dutifully to desire libertie from stooping to iniurious doctrine Shee searcheth into the depth of subiected seruise and discouering whether it be offered of curtesie or proffered of knauerie regards it according to it value and rewardes it with it full worth She teacheth to like ere they loue and louing to encrease or deminish the heate of their fancie according to the proportion of kinde coales that nourisheth the fire of their affection She perswadeth to launce courting to the bones to finde out the danger and séeing what likelyhoode either of weale or woe is likest to ensue thée sheweth them what is good to withdrawe the putrified liking and what is holsome to preserue the sound loue And she studies to make them happie by wishing men their welfare to make them constant by endeuoring to encrease a sparke of loyaltie and to make them honored by instructing them in the true rules of modestie And now step in further thou beautifying modestie for thou addest no small renoune to their adored natures nor doth thy bashfulnes meanely adorne their highly prised excellencies thy rosie blusshes bring no small honor to their admired beauty nor euer dies that sacred stayning colour vntil by mans corruption that maidenly marke be extinguished Yet then but ah that man should do so much thy decent sobrietie aduanceth the dignity of their womanly chastitie and thy matronly behauiour displayeth the soueraintie of their motherly nurture Thou giues examples that imitated preuent occasions of enticing offers to draw to folly and escapes the iniurious slanders of suspitions searchers y◠hunt after shewes of sensuality Thou maintainest peace at home escapest suspect abroade and keepest thy louers heart from harboring ielousie the chiefe procurer of greatest miserie And thou gainest liking and encreasest affection receiuing loue and loyaltie with an assured pledge of neuer-dying constancie Neither art thou euerlasting goddes a stranger to mens-helpers for thou withall the vertues waite vpon these beautiful spectacles and they with the Graces extol those the earths miracles Their praises are vnspeakeable for that their worth is vnualuable and their desartes vnrequited because through mans weakenes misprised but such and so great were the adorned excellencies of these humaine deities as their practises layde open their princely courtesie and their performances made their louers happie And men reioyced through their faithfull affection studying to requite womens euerlasting kindnes with the reward of neuer-ceasing constancie Men vsed heauenly wisdome to obtaine liking and carefull behauior to confirme loue being purchased and women were forward to bestowe modest kindnes being faithfully dealt withall and effectually requited proffered curtesie neither being too too coye or shewing themselues ouer forward to be wonne But briefly and so to end euery one of them rendred like for like with proofes of neuer-altering affection they thereby gaining vnto themselus the sugred swéetnes of celestiall amitie tying vnto their kinde thoughts the affections of their well-willers with euerlasting constancie FINIS
The Passionate Morrice London Imprinted by Richard Jones 1593. To the Gentlewomen and others of England ONce more most beautiful damsels I am bold to presume of your wonted fauour thereby being lead to a performance of a vowed duetie where a kinde zeale bindeth to offer the acceptance of a seruiceable good will there a carefull feate that forewarneth to incurre the hazard of offence maketh the hart to stagger betweene hope and despaire hoping through the kindenes of your gentle dispositions to obtaine a defence against iniurious cauillers and fearing by an ouer-bolde presumption to offer offence to the affable sweetenes of your soueraigne curtesie But seeing my desire to bee possessed of the better cordiall makes me hart-strong to suppe of that potion which is likest to lengthen my welfare the same being an assured confidence of your continuall carefulnes in shrowding with your affection the slender substance of my humorous Morrice It is not long since for Tel-troths Newyeeres-gift I presented vnto your liking Robin good-fellow his newes with his inuectiue against Loues most iniurious enemie Ielousie which though it was a token to gratifie the day yet if with indifferent iudgement the matter therein contained be considered of I doubt not though it was a New-yeeres day toy it may proue a many yeeres helpe to hinder that hagges enterprises The worke tooke his title according to the time of his creation but shall Robins prescriptions be followed the patients maladie shall continually finde it a gifte to signifie the good beginning and prosperous proceeding of many new yeeres vnto them But now to send Tell-troth packing Honestie hath thrust himselfe into your seruice who though at the first sight he may seeme a crabbed companion yet let me beseech you to stay your censure til you haue throughly tryed what is in him and if then he shewes not himselfe a diligent pleaser of your immortal vertues memorize in the Cronicles of Disdaine the same of that runnagate simplicitie and let me for his faulte be banished from your good thoughts to euerlasting ignominie I was rather desirous to trauel altogether inuisible then to haue had a title which might giue light to the vnderstanding of me your vnworthie professed Author but since the higher powers denie me that priuiledge I am content to subiect my self to the opinions of courteous dispositions beseeching you to beare with my vaine for that the vanitie of this age regardes no other nor would any be content to heare of faultes vnlesse they be tolde them in meriment I protest there is nothing scandalous therein nor which is ment to offer iniury to any onely my purpose is that if you should know any like vnto any of those in disposition that either you forewarne them those monstrous iniurious vices or accompt of them as pestilent foolish wretches To shun tediousnes I commit mâ— intention to your misticall consideration my woorke to your courteous protection my selfe to your fauourable opinions and your sacred selues to the heauens tuition Yours in seruice and affection most loyall A. THE PASSOINATE Morrice IN the moneth of March a time as fit for wooing as May is pleasant to sporte in Honestie trauelling as his custome is to search such corners as good fellowship hâ—unteth it was my hap coÌ„ming into Hogsden to light vpon a house wherein were met such a troupe of louers as had not the hall béen wondrous bigge a multitude should haue béen forced to stand without dores Yet though the roume was so spatious as an armie might haue lodged therein without pesterment notwithstanding it was so well filled at this instant as all the place Honestie could get amongst them was to sit on the rafters on the top of the house which fitted best my humour that desires rather to sée then to be séene There seated in my Maiestie as ready to heare newes as the pick thanke is forward to tell newes I might easely perceaue my louers mated as if they ment to make Marche birds euery man hauing his swéete hart and euery couple their corner There were of all sortes and in many manners sorted some batchelers sewed to widdowes others to maides widdowers likewise wooed some maides and othersome widdowes there was age and youth coupled together equalitie of yeares courting each other and diuersity of dispositions arguing to make a sympathie Amongst them I lent my eares first to a couple that had chosen forth the most secret corner in the house which were not worst fitted for yeares for it was a youth of thrée and twentie that had matched himselfe with a maide of eightéene hée holding her vpon his knée with his right hand clasping hers his left about her middle made many proffers to win her fauour and breathed many sighes to shew his loue he vowed constancie with protestations and confirmed with othes the pleadge of his loyaltie he shewed her how long he had loued her beforâ— he durst tel her of his affection how many iournies he had made with losse of labour and how many complaintes to the God of Loue not finding any remedie Hée made her priuie to the many houres he had at sundrie times spent in watching to haue a sight of her shewing vnto her how ioyfull he were had he perchance but seene any creature belonging to her fathers house yea were it but the little dog that turned the spit Many times quoth he haue I lookt vp to the windowe imagining I haue séene thy picture engrauen in the glasse when with long gasing to viewe the true portrature thereof I haue at last recalled my selfe by letting my soule sée how mine eyes were deceiued in expecting that true forme from the glasse which was onely pictured in my heart Then would I sorrowe to my selfe and power forth such passions into the ayre as my heart bring ouer loaded with the extremitie they would force would constraine me to sit downe ending my spéeche with such sighes as my breathed sorrowe would no lesse darken the ayre then a mistie fogge doth obscure the skie But at last comming to my selfe I would returne home locking vp my selfe within my lodging a close prisoner by the commandemeÌ„t of loue where to passe away the time I would write passionate lines amorous ditties pleasing fancies pleasant rounddelaies and dolefull drerelayes Now would I thinke to winne thée by letters anon I thought it better to pen spéeches but suddainely both misliking mée I would throwe my selfe vppon the bed so long thinking which way to obtaine thée as in the end I should fall into a slumber Yet amidst my rest my thoughtes concerning thée were restles For then should I dreame sometimes thou spakest me faire repaying my kindenes with swéete kisses granting my requests and forward to doe my will but awaking from forth that soueraigne elusion looking to finde thée I should féele the bed-poastes that hard hap turning my glad heart to a new bread sorrow which was the more painefull by how much my dreame was pleasing at
not remain long or my misliking would come too too soone because I am not able to follow what youâ— first wife hath performed and you will be vnwilling to beare with the wants your second choice must be enriched with But peraduenture I mistake your meaning for where as I thinke you sue to haue me to your second wife you sâ—eke but to haue my good wil to liue with my fréende 〈◊〉 good sâ—r my duetie as you say must not gainsay their pleasure nor will I for that matter but with all my hart if you haue their licence for your boord haue my good will to obtaine your bed there also for their house is at their owne commaundement Then doubt I not replyed he to haue you for my bedfellow But that doubt I answered she for that I know the contrary Why dare you quoth he to disobay your Fathers commaundement No sayd she so it be for my commoditie It shall be both for your profite and prefeâ—ment Make me to beléeue that quoth she and then peraduenture it may be a bargaine Why woman said he I deserue your better Take her answered she and I will not be matched to your inferiour Why then I sée you do scant loue me I vse it not quoth she and yet I sweare I will mocke you rather then marrie with you With which being highly displeased he bestowed thrée or foure crabbed tearmes being liueries of his cholerick long toung and so departed A shame goe with him thought Honestie whatsoeuer she thought and with all such Louers louers with a halter lubbers I may better tearme them What monstrous matches are such as are shuffled vp after the selfe same order Suppose she had beene fearefull and durst not to haue resisted the receipt of what she lothed imagine she had béene foolish and could not haue iudged of affection thinke she had béene forward and would haue béene glad of any one alas poore wretch I pittie the supposition what should I haue said to the confirmation I know assuredly she should haue sighed whatsoeuer I had saide and mourning should haue béen her companion what ere had béen my communication he would haue daunst with her portion while she had drooped through want of affection he would haue loathed her company for that she was not a dayly commoditie her life should haue béen like the hacknies that are at euery mans commaundement for the hire and her ioy as momentary as the florishing gréene grasse in Iuly Pitifully should she haue liued punished by him without pitie and this is my reason of the possibilitie for that it is most likely he loued her not how well any body vse them they loue not let them speake that suspect not Now that he loued her not may be proued both by his kinde of wrong careleslye suing vnto her peremptorily vsurping her Fathers authoritie which was a band to lye her to obedience though a bad meane to obtaine her curtesie For affection is not to be limitted nor loue to be compelled but coÌ„trarily hatred followes feare and feare fore-runnes mislike and how we loue those we regarde not iudge they that woo and obtaine not But this custome is too common and ouer cruell namely a wooing of fréends and a constraint of loue I would not say compelling but for feare it shoulâ— haue been taken for compelling Were Honestie a Iustâ—â—e they should either lye in the stockes a fortnight or marry her I would match him with which should séeke a wife after this order I thinke verily he would rather stay his stint by the héeles then be bound to the other inconuenience and yet he could finde in his hart to binde another to yâ— bad bargaine This is charitie yea neuer a whit of honestie being so farre from ciuilitie as the Millers craft is from true dealing Now truely truly to deale as we would be dealt with is sent to the hedge a begging and neighbourly loue is made a hacknie being so worne to the bones with séeking a good Maister as his skinne will hang on the bush shortely I haue heard a reporte of a passing kinde man that complained of his wife at a Sessions for pissing a pot full iudging thereby she was dishonest and that same man shortly after burying his wise sued to a maide after the manner aforesaid he had obtained her fréends good will and were at a point for the Maidens loue yet on a time she was troubled with the head-ake at his being with her whereof he so misliked as in the morning he went to the Phisitions to haue their opinions to what disease it coulde turne and vpon their reporte left her I am assured I haue erred in no point vnlesse I haue mistooke the last putting the Phisitions opinion in the roome of his owne bad meaning it was no disease indéede that misliked or misled him but it was of the Fathers pursse not of the Daughters head well she was well prouided for in missing of him and if he sped any thing the better let him boast of it but Honestie can iudge no better of the remnant of his companions then his action giues the verdict of him which is as bad as may be But to another that hapned on one that had the too thanke with whom he would not matry for feare the hollownesse of her tooth should corrupt her breâ—th and so annoye his colde stomack It was colde indéede and I would such stomacks might be heated with redde hotte gold as chéerfull as scalding leade Well to a third he liked her parents wel for that they were honest godly and as well of the maiden because she séemed modest to be bréef he could find no saulte in either of them onely his feare was that the Daughter would be somewhat shrewish for that she had a long nose and thereupon gaue her ouer If her nose had béene long enough I think â—he might haue smelt a knaue but I am assured she knewâ— a churle and so let her claime him wheresoeuer she sées him Yet one more of the same stampe and so we will leaue them This was a wooer in graine who had gone so far as they were at next doore to he askt in the Church The wedding apparel was bought the day appointed yea and I may tel you many of yâ— gesse bid only there was no assurance for that he abhorred but it fortuned that before the day there dyed a rich man that left a welthie widdow to whom he made so secret loue as he wonne her good will within a fortnight after the death of his predecessour well notwithstanding to saue his couÌ„terfeit credit and preserue his hypocriticall honestie he resorted dayly to his olde swéete hart with whom vpon some smal reason he fel at ods vsing her so vnkindly in spéeches as he drew teares for sorrow Glad of this though turning his earnest into iest he called her vnto him in the presence of many of her Fathers seruants then swearing that if the
another time I should thinke that suing to thée for sauour thou wouldest bestowe frownes profering my seruice thou wouldst offer skornes If I sighed thou wouldst smile laughing at my teares and ioying at my griefe requiting euery kinde demande with so cruell answers as if thy bitter words could not force me to leaue my suite thy skornefull farewels should frustrate my wil offering to touch thine hand mée thought thou profereds thy foote and stouping to catch that being glad of any thing thou wouldst in a rage fling from me and leaue the doore barred against me There should I sit till my téeth chattered in my head and my heart aked in my bellie then should I shake for colde and sigh for sorrowe when thinking to knock my legges against the ground to get heate I should kick al the cloathes off me being in the end constrained to awake through colde At what time that colde fare would better content me then the former flattering cheare did please me being as glad it was false as I would haue béen glad if the other had béen true Many like to these did I endure before my acquaintance with thée not knowing any meanes how to obtaine the same of thée vntill happely finding thee in a sommers euening at the dore I presumed to enter parlie with thée offering my selfe your seruant which had béen a tweluemoneth your sworne subiect doubting of your patieÌ„ce though you séeme to be a patterne of pittie How and after what order I haue since that time besought your sauour your selfe shall be my iudge for I list not to rehearse my dayly shiftes to shewe my zeale my manyfolde conclusions to obtaine your companie my giftes to wooe the seruants and my presents to gaine your good will But to be briefe thereby to come to that I like best one whole yeare I loued thée before thou knewest me thrée more are passed since first I spake to thée yet then was I as neare as now I am and now as farre off as I was then Say therefore swéete since to stay longer yéelds but little comfort shall my suite now end with the verdit You loue me To which long preamble shut vp with so whot a conclusion she no lesse prepared herselfe to answere him then Frier Tuck vsed ceremonies before he song mattens She cast her eyes vp to Heauen as if she had béen making her praiers to loue sighing so bitterly as I thought hir placket lace would haue brokeÌ„ then to the matter thus she answered Alas gentle sir I must confesse I haue found you kinde and you haue béen at a great deale more cost then I could wish you had your suite hath béen long and my kindenes not much nor doe I hope you eâ—pect more at my hands then you haue had before my friends haue granted their good will Maidens are modest and must not bée prodigall of their courtesie children are bound and cannot consent without their parents counsell pardon mée therefore I pray you if I say I loue you not since my father knowes you not and thinke not much if I desire you to leaue to loue mée vntill my mother giue me leaue to like of you At which time assure your selfe I will bee as ready to performe your will as they shall be forward to wish me that good and thus in the meane time I hope you will rest satisfied This was a shroade bone for my passionate youth to gnawe on that being so strucken on the head as his heart aked therewith thought to ease his sorrowe with this replie Ah my swéetest swéete quoth hée Thinke not on thy fathers counsel séeing a greater friend craueth his deserte nor let me rest their leasure without pitie that hath thus long remained constant vnto thée I loue thée nor for thy fréendes sake though I loue them for thy sake nor doe thou lothe me for their pleasure that liues but at thy pleasure But swéete and soueraigne of my hart as thy thoughts be not tied to their wils so let not thy loue be linked so fast to their liking as their mislike should end my life by remouing thy loue Say my goddesse and therewithall as he was procéeding she cut off the rest with this short answere I beséech you sir to leaue off your courting vnlesse you entend some other conclusion then as yet I can gather for of my faith loue you I wil not nor consent I dare not without my fréends giue their consents first and thereupon she thrusted through the throng and poasted out of doores leauing my passionate louer to say his pater noster alone where we will leaue them What I thought I will tell you and I hope you will not doubt of the matter for that Honestie speakes it One yéeres loue without acquaintance and thrée yéeres suite to be neuer the néerer either he was a bad lawyer or she a monstrous vniust iudge but be it both a passionate Asse and a péeuish wench were well met But marke his folly and her cunning he building Castles in the aire and setting trappes in the Sunne to catch the shadowe of a coye queane was pleased by her with wagging his bawble and ringing his bell while she pickt his pocket and cut his pursse A proper péece of seruice of a passionate Souldier and a prettie sleight of a flattering Slut I would we had more of them nay why wish I that since the worlde is too full of such alreadie Yet of my honesty she was as fitte a match for such a foole as might be found in the worlde A great deale of fond fancie repaied with a sharpe shorte deniall and thrée yéeres affection rewarded with an ounce of flatterie mingled with a pound of discurtesie a good cordiall to comfort so kinde a hart Oh the subtilty of the diuell that vnder the shadow of obedience couers yâ— craft of cosonage It is hotte loue that buildes on fréendes liking and pestilent affection that relies rather on the mothers loue then on the Louers loyaltie Such as stands so curiously on their Parents good will hauing dealt so craftily without their consent are worthie by Honesties doome to stand in a Cage vntill either their fréends good will be got or her swéet harts licence obtained for her deliuerie And this is too good for that the kinde Asse wil too too soone release her I thinke this punishment would be worse welcome vnto her namely that she be bound from mariage so long as she hath kept him without his answere which will so pinche her prodigall desire as either she will forsweare honestie or neuer commit the like knauerie Oh there is a companie of minions which delight to haue many sutors that they may bragge amongst their mates of their diuersitie of louers they thinke it commendable to haue store of customers But knewe they so much as I know they were better to goe once in a fortnight to Greenes Cunnyberries then to haue such resorte to haunt their companies Honestie honours
the consent of Parents but abhorres such loue as is built on their liking if there be no remedie but that either they shall like or thou wilt not loue let him haue thy Fathers good will before he obtaines thy countenance for doubtles she that will entertaine louers and repay their courting with kindenes will care as little for her fréends counsell hapning on a mate she can fancie as the horse wil for haye that hath his manger full of prouender And what is the cause why so many stande so curiously on their fréends consent nought forsooth but the presumption of a double baite that being sure of their countenance they may be assured of an other dinner if their owne likes them not or otherwise to haue a hole to hide a For in for that her owne denne is not secret enough If her Husband controlle her for any misdemeanour or reproue her of any dishonest behauiour then on goes her pantoples building the reckoning of her honesty on her fathers countenance so far presuming of his bounden duetie for the match making as if he kept the keye of her huswiferie Her long toung vtters large spéeches standing at defiance vnder the banner of her Fathers defence and his house must be her Castell to kéepe her from her Husband This is the commoditie a man shall reap by such a match and this is their meaning that would couer their rebellion with the cloak of obedience Is not he wel preferred that is so well married and how can he mend it Marry no way but this that he which is mated with the like inconuenience to learne more wit against the next time striuing in the meane time to please both her and her fréends since he had so much reason to woo both her fréends and her to be bound to so bad a bargaine It is follie quoth a wise man to be sorrowful for things irrecouerable and Honestie thinkes it madnes to repent for déedes done whereof her selfe is culpable can any man be so witles especially in matter wherein wisedome is so much required as to doe and wish vndoone in a moment yea dâ—ubtles Honestie knowes such they being the hotte spurres of our age that thinke euery day a twelue moneth vntill they be married and after they are matched euery houre seauen yéeres vntill they are parted It was hotte loue that will be so soone colde some of you will say but I say if it bad béen hot loue as it was burning lust it would not haue béen so soone colde For whereas yâ— prouerb goes that hot loue wil be soone colde it is ment by such affection as wants matter therby to continue longer For as that is the purest wood which yéelds the perfectest heat and yâ— purer it is the sooner it wil be it own destruction leauing the sitters by without fire vnles a fresh supply be as néede requires added so wil our hotte loue whose kindled affection is come vnto it perfection the hart being on such a blaze as euery part of it is on a light flame decay as reason and nature requireth vnles new faggots of kindenes adde fresh matter for fiering the supply thereof remoning all suspition of want of affection How pure yâ— loue is where there is so light a regarde of proffered kindenes as my Fathers will or my Mothers leaue must be a Spurre to my liking let euery one iudge that knowes loue But â—n my opinion as I confesse that the duetie we owe to our Parents may doo muche where the knowledge thereof bindes to obeye so must I confirme that loue is a duetie himselfe bâ—nding to so great obedience and tying with such strong conuaiances as he remoues all thoughts of lower dueties I tearming al dueties lower for that by commaundement those dueties must be reiected in respect of the louing duetie that a Husband shall require Now how far my nice Mimon was from knowing this duetie her coye demeanour and cunning behauiour hath manifested Yet how happie was my youth at lâ—st to be rid of such a monster And monster may I tearme her in respect of her lewde behauiour for was it not much better that her inconstancie should haue béene knowen before he was fast linked vnto her then it should haue béene found when it had béen incurable Doubtles it was a good cause he had to double his orisons vnto loue for so louingly preseruing him from so pestilent a prittie-bird I should haue said pricking-burre or paultry bauble BVt to come to my second couple which were seated opposite to these in an other corner being a lustie widdower that was courting a gallant wench both of them being highly beholding to nature for her liberall skill in their making which were thus placed She was set down ouerlooked by him standing before her hauing â—ne of his hands leaning on her lap and the other resting on the wâ—l hauing therby as I gesse the more libertie to vse his pleasure in bestowing kinde kisses and louing fauours so he waâ— seated and thus he began to sue Faire Maide quoth he I know my experience to be greater then your practise for that I haue tried rules me by reason hauing loued and liued with my loue vntill by the fates I was bereâ—ued of that fruit so well liked I of my last losse as my former good hap bréeds an assured hope of the like good fortune that being a helpe to further my will and a meane to make a now choise which change what good it shal yéeld your selfe shall challenge whose good reporte hath bound me to commence my deserts to receiue their censure by your doome To boast what I am were frinelous for that your fréends are alreadie priuie to my estate and to say how well I loue you were booteles for that women loue to trie ere they trust yet vnles I should say more then I haue saide I should séeme to say nothing though to say more then is spoken already were â—éerely foolish For thus stands the case I haue made choise of you for my second wife and haue already your fréends good will there restes therefore nothing but a confirmation of your duetie in agréeing to that they haue confirmed thus conuning to a full point he closed vp his period with a brace of smirking kisses which wrought with his Louer as a strong pyll dooth with a sore sicke patient namely they forced her to answere him thus threwdely The assurance of your good fortune Sir hath made you highly beholden to her deitie that dauncing in the morrice of good matches you should be led by her to so good hap but belike it was ouer good to continue long either her kindenes being ouermatched with your vnconstancie or your good happe ouer ruled by fortunes cruelty They euer change and lightly neuer but for the worse which the rather séemes so vnto me by the sure knowledge I haue of your second choice that is so far vnequall to your reported first match as I know your liking would
perfect or what will take soile sooner then the milkelike white well the maidens proposition pleased Honestie ouerwell as you may gesse by my long stay vpon it but I will assure you it displeased no les my yong mistres Alas it is a little thing that will not displease them whom nothing can please and shall we thinke a wench could possibly please her long vnto whom so many men were disliking Now surely he shall haue a new accompte that reckons on lesse then this namelye that his matching with such a minion which was so curious to be pleased will craue as great care to be kept pleased as a iade will require arte to be kept from tiring Nor doo I say she wil be tired I would rather be driuen to affirme he shal be iaded though with such an one as will neuer be tired But let such as my Mistres Many-mislike is take héede least by their coye kindenes they kill their harts whome they would gladly saue after with all their arte and cannot How easie is it to put that away with our little singer which we would willingly recouer againe with both our hands I haue knowen some Faulkoners that haue béene so curious in dieting their Hawkes as a nice curtesan is of her fare and yet sometimes they haue searcht a whole day after the killing of a carrion Crowe and mist of it too The faire lastes not alwaies and such as lightly regarde a good bargaine when it is proffered may trie the market a twelue moneth after and misse of the like offer The rolling stone gathers no mosse nor the running fancie is worth the catching They shal be sure to méete with a fickle hart that match with such a wauering loue and an vnconstant affection is better lost then found And for that I am entred into the path of vncōstancie I wil come to a seauenth enemie which a couple harboured that stood behinde the doore He was a Prentice that had foure yéers to serue which I certainely vnderstoode afterwards though at that instant I geste no lesse by his fearefulnes to be séene wel these had so wooed and wonne the one the other as sure they were hauing remained so by the space of thrée yéers yet now there was dislike growen betwéene them firste springing from the woman that was discontented that she had alreadie lost so much time being yet bound to endure a longer stay Who knowes not the certaintie of her presumption confirmed by an order of the Cittie of London which is that if any man standing bound for the seruing of yéeres entangle himselfe and marrie before the tearme of his yéeres ended he shall double his prentiship and therfore must she either out-stay thē or binde him by the hastie match to seauen yéers more seruice Vpon this inconuenience mislike harboured in her bosome hauing tied that with her toung which she could not loose with her hands so that mad melancholly she was for the matche made by her selfe that tooke so small delight therein Now I would all might be serued with y◠same sauce thought Honestie that so soone tying themselues desire as soone to be loosed and it is great maruell when it falles out otherwise especially in these daies wherin constancie is made a hackney Lingring loue breedes mislike and how can that loue be faithfull that is fastned with so slender a thong There is a thing which maintaines the coherence of two harts which if it be long wanting our loue will proue but watrish affection I meane that certaintie of an euerlasting happines with an assurance of a continuall earthly pleasure There comes many faire Horses into Smith féelde in a twelue moneth which make many that are sped alreadye to wish themselues vnprouided to deale with them for all men haue not kéeping for two Geldings It is time that makes a iade knowen and our knowledge y◠wishes him further from vs. Many thinges must alter in seauen yéeres for that wonders happen in a moment In one day a begger and a King are made equal both the pompe of the one and the poore estate of the other being buried in dust Losses come soonest vnlooked for and the worst bargaines are gotten with the greatest search néede raiseth the market and much enquirie after a commoditie engenders suspect there is scarcitie thereof What cannot golde doo and may it not then easily conuert a hart that longes after it There are many entising baites that change many mindes who wil not striue for the golden Apple onely except those that know they cannot get it though they are deseruing thereof which impossibilitie must néeds hatche miserie How be cormorants more plagued then by a disappointment of their purpose They that forestall markets make often times but bad bargaines as well as the sluggard that comes a day after the Faire Is it not folly to striue to kéepe a wet Eele by the taile or what commoditie ariseth of holding the Diuell by the great toe the one is ouer-quick and the other wonderous strong and in Honesties iudgement a knowne losse the sooner it comes the lesse it gréeues and better it is to be without company then to be matcht with an enemie Slipperie ware is not y◠best Marchandize and what requires more care then Glasse that is most brittle I know you wil say a womās hart is as tēder and y◠I think no lesse Then since we must hazard our welfare that are constrained to deale with such pure metall being tied to that traffique let vs not bestowe all our hope on a péec◠we know must stay so long by vs before we can make profite thereof Honestie is rather a professed solicitor for a woman then a counseller to a man but for that both men and women are troubled with the like diseases let them vse my plaster that like best of my knowledge Where loue strikes the bargaine their liking cannot start backe but vnles he be bound by his agréement affection is a fickle fellowe What surer couenant then setled loue But they which respect not their worde will hardly regarde an oathe Honestie is all for hee is the father of constancie and a fig for that loue which must be tied by the lawe If we foster a snake she will sting vs by the bosome and hée that sues for an enemie is worthy to haue his pate broken with want of honestie A tedious suite makes ritch lawyers and léesing clients and a desire to haue all makes vs often to loose all I haue heard of a Gentleman that tied himselfe to a poore maide after the manner aforesaide meaning to marrie with her after the death of his father for that hée durst not doe it while hée liued Hée maintained her passing brauely running himselfe greatly into debt through the large expenses she lasht out Which curious and ritch setting forth made many to looke after her which otherwise would not haue thought on her A blazing starre presages alteration as the Astronomers holde
it and doubtles a proper woman gayly apparelled bréeds miracles in mens mindes A prancing horse moues wondring when a sure nagge onely pleaseth the rider so while shée liued according to her birth few or none regarded hir but now set foorth as readie for sale her gallantnes engendred thoughts of some great portion to be fallen by an vnlooked for accident Nor will friends let to speake to make a friend spéede well and hire of the same minde gaue forth that it was so indéede vpon which reporte many wooers were drawne to trie their fortunes and amongst them a ritch farmers some set in his foote to hazard his happe Whome her parents and friends so well liked being his fathers onely childe as they began to perswade their daughter to take it while it were offered after this maner Tut wench quoth they while the grasse growes the stéed starues and as soone goes the young steare as the olde ore to the market Young heads are fickle and suppose he should play false how should we remedie it Golde bies lawe now a dayes and may not a bribe eate vp a sure title as wee haue heard a fat hog did a poore mans glasse of oyle He that can giue moste shall be sure to speed best and you knowe daughter your father is not able to wage lawe against so ritch an enemie Why woman you haue not séene him this fortnight and how knowe we but he hath a wife in a corner By our Lady girle such windefalles happen not often as is this day put into your mouth By cock and pie doo as you will but if you doo refuse this proffer we will denie you our blessing Which counsell stroke so déepe into her conscience as it sent packing all the affection her protested loyaltie had promised and turned it so to the farmers sonne as in short time hée maried with her By that time as my minion had béen married thrée or foure dayes thither comes posting my out-ioynted Gentleman of whose starke staring mad discontentment vpon the hearing of his willow guift Honestie lists not to stand since you can imagine it was great but what remedie What wise man would sue for a false-hearted begger or what gaine should be got by the recouerie of a broken pipkin In séeking to haue plagued her he should haue punished himselfe adding but shame to the losse of a greater expence and in the ende recouered a flap with a fore tale Well I pittie him because of his kindnes which was so crossed but if Honestie heares of any such kinde asses hereafter he will make as good sporte thereat as the boyes doo at the foole of a Morrice Are they not worthie to lie by the héeles that purchase the countertenor with so plaine a pricksong I warrant you it prict and pincht him too but his father was the more â—illing to release him for that he hopte that losse had gaind him more wit Honestie could tell you of a thousand that haue béen serued after the same order they hauing promised to staye one for another some a yeare others more or lesse whereof some haue had their hope sound within a fortnight of their day and then thinking themselues néerest to haue their willes in come takers puâ—â—ing their noses quite besides the swéete sent of their forespoken bedfellowes This can be no small griefe to a kinde constant heart that hath peraduenture refused many good likely hoods to stay for such a light huswife He that will thinke himselfe sure to a woman or shee that will build on a mans constancie till the parish priest hath saide God giue yee ioye and the brides bed hath borne it first nights wâ—ight he is not of Honesties minde though I wish it were otherwise It is as good to bee assured of the borne as to bee made sure to an vnconstant heart for they that looke for les shall be disappointed God forbid Honestie should say it were vnpossible that two may loue constantly vnmarried seuen yeres but he may aboue that two say such are scarce found in seauen ages Walke but to Westminster a place in faith where constancie is as little vsed as wit in Bedlam and yet there I warrant you you shall haue your head filled with tales of vnconstant louers Goe likewise to Poules a path as well haunted with hunters of honestie as Kemps head is sometimes pestered with knauerie and blame Honestie if there you heare not outeries of wauering wenches Long lanes and broade streetes little cottages and manner places are at this day by report bolstred with naught so much as with vnconstant mindes Whereby what through the sorrowe Constancies complainte moues and the griefe honesties broken pate procures it is great pittie wée should not haue many knackes to knowe knaues by and as many Iigges to gird garish girles with I peticoate laue is a pocket ful of new fasshions the drift whereof is that first commers should be first serued but they meane no commers which enter not the placket In Shooleane there is one that selles running lether the vertue whereof is maintained with liquor of a careles heart so that hee or shee that cannot play light of loue shall not be customed there Withdrawe your selues to Crooked lane and of Honesties credite you shall finde more traps to catch Rats and Mice there then constant louers in Sâ—ordich Church at midnight What shall I say since the art of Cony-catching hath forestalled good inuention but fie on the diuell that driues such wits to so bad a bargaine as to be forst to spend their time in no better studies They haue néed of good intelligencers that shall intermeddle with trickes of Coningshifts for mine own part I had rather wade to the middle in Loues whirle-poole then to the anckles in the brooke of vnconstancie And yet force perforce by Loues appoyntment I must haue a fling at her followers Let them flye to the gallowes for Honestie that loues her so well and my fling will driue them to a worse place vnlesse they leaue her Vp hill and downe hill is a very troublesome labour but vp the ladder and downe the rope ends many ones miserie What stéeper way then to the height of offection and how many often post vp and down betwéene that and the valley Likings-recantation I recant now a daies followes Loues héeles like his shadowe it is a halting crackhalter and a hurtfull hinderloue and best he shall be knowne by his stumpe foote I meane not a mishapenledge but a resting loue that either makes such a full poynt in the beginning as he can goe no further or els stands at a stay two or thrée quarters not knowing whether it were best to goe forwards or backwards Extreames are as daungerous as stretches for as many ioynts are out-set or crackt by the one so many vncurable hurts are receiued by the other Honestie thinkes a seuen nights space is too short a time to fasten a true louers knot but he that out stayes yâ—
moneth may learne as much in that time as is néedfull to be knowne A longer time is pleasing to them that haue barres to hinder their forwardnes but he that may goe on without hinderances if hée aimes at a longer respite take it on Honesties word hée workes but vpon aduantage They that build their affection vpon reason are like to remaine most constant for where a condition of profite binds the sutors there a long day will not likely be broken But this reason craues wisedome the experience whereof must a waite on Loues followers the prâ—ctise being nothing but this a care in our choyce to maintaine the maine chaunce That is that they which haue little doe fancie none but such as haue somewhat and they that haue nothing either to match with such as haue enough to serue themselues and others or els to fit still in the chimney corner Al must measure their liking according to the depth of their desire to the end they may liue with contentment which will I warrant you nourish constancie Now followeth another sort which are not the least enemies Loue hath being our common courting lads who take such pleasure in their pregnant wits and so great glorie in their readie tongues as a wench cannot péepe forth the doores but they must haue a fling at her beautie First comes faire ladie God saue you and then followes that the sight of such a blazing Commet makes them stand at the gaze for that such sights are seldome séene After ensues their application falling from the celestiall creatures to their earthly Goddesses extolling their beauties to such a height as when they can goe no further hauing forgotten their way backwards they fall downe headlong breaking the necke of Good reason Then come they to the good parts of their bodies and from thence to a supernaturall view of their hidden vertues building vpon the prouerbe A faire face cannot haue a crabbed heart though many of them find by experience but crabbed entertainment to procéede from those their celestial obiects yet the most what through their quicke conceipts false protestations and vsuall resorting into their companies bring many into such a fooles paradice as they harpe on nothing but mariage And maruell not séeing we haue many so forward wenches that if a man looke but earnestly vpoÌ„ them they thinke verely hee is inamoured of their beautie but shal he speake and say he loues them my father my mother and all my friends must be made priuie to his procéedings for I know he will haue me Alas light hearts that are lead away with euery kinde blast know ye not that our age flowes with fine wits that must borrow their practise of such like patients Doe not many men cheapen that meane not to buy think you to want such customers How many come into a Faire with neuer a farthing in their purses and yet for fashion sake will aske the price of a costly péece of worke Our tongues stand vs in little charges for reparations and séeing they weare not we will not spare to wagge them But this is best knowne to you women whom nature bindes to the greatest practice hauing giuen you no other weapon yet I may tell you men cannot want that instrument especially in their wooing matters But did many of both kindes vse it lesse both you and they should spéede neuer the worse for you should misse of many fond faithles spéeches and they should march without as many kinde hit home floutes They should not playing with the fire be burnt with the flame and remaine helples through your careles pitie nor should you be intrapt in the snares of their smoothe words decreasing your glorious beauty by hopeles conceites of obtaining your withed happines Many honest mindes taken at their words are bound to bad bargaines when on the contrarie part a crackt credit regardes neither his own reputation or anothers welfare How easte is a frée horse tired a good edge-toole spoyled and a kinde heart surfeited Adull iade will rather be spurde to death then breake his pace and with a bad knife we may assay to cut any thing without dooing it much harme but woe bee vnto that heart whose mildenes makes it selfe subiect to a counterfeit kindnes You shall sighe forth your sorrow while they smile at their good successe they building their assurance of being no losers on your good dispositions that serue for stables to rest their hopes in your good natures must bée but roumes for hacknies that neuer knowe their masters and your kinde hearts to serue for mangers to féede their had conceites Their trotting shall fasten to your heads â—eapes of proclamations the clauses whereof shall bréede thousand of doubted miseries and ten thousands of carefull heartbreakings Their counterfeit frendship shall hinder faithfull and louing procéedings hurting affection by hindring it from it desarte with kéeping it from receiuing the due of requitall That bootles constancie shall banish faithfull loyaltie by crabbed crosses and purchase to it self through a haples conclusion a cart-loade of carefull extremities True-meaning thereby shall be deceaued on both sides and kind-heartednes plagued with ouer-sureset affection Loue shal be banded away with the racket of dissinmlation and beaten at last into the hazard Despaire by his sporting enemie What a great losse will followe such a chase and how great expence of hearts griefe must ensue so shroude a game gesse you that lie condemned in the like charges Onely Honestie pitties such a pastime that ends with so smal pleasure and wil now come to giue you warning of what he hath séene happen in the like cases of little conscience There was one of this societie that had so courted vp a wench as through a potion of pleasure he had giuen her her belly rose like a blowne bladder Belly round she was so that through his craft her credit stoode vpon cracking which she perceauing entreated her phisition that as hée had tasted of her curtesie so he would saue her honestie declaring that she was with childe as the truth was Of my faith quoth he what care I You might haue tooke better heede you are best to make haste and get a father for it I hope answered she you will not serue me so are these your faire promises and can your vowes bee so slightly passed ouer Haue you not made loue to me by the space of a quarter being vsed kindly of mee and can you finde in your heart thus cruelly to requite my extraordinarie fauour putting me to shiftes in this extremitie Is it possible your professed whot loue should be so soone cold or that your large promises should turne to so little performance I cannot thinke you being a man can be so cruell as to cast away a poore maiden Away beast quoth he thy perswasions are as bootles as thy thoughts and I am assured thou art not so foolish as to build of any thing I haue saide or of that I haue done but as
of a iest if thou doost it will be a bad foundation and with that he flong forth of the dores leauing my maimed-maide in a bad taking Doe you tearme such dooing iesting thought Honestie if Chaucers iapes were such iestes it was but bad sporte well a sporte it was though it proued a sure earnest and who knowes not that swéete meates craue sowre sauce Her laughing lye-downe came to sad rising-vp a shrewde sporte to turne to such sorrie pâ—stime and if such an earnest penny cannot binde a bargaine nought wil holde the like chapmen but a halier Now Tiborne and Wapping waite on such for Porters as post to markets so to iest with lac'st-mutton If saying had béen all shee had béene foolish indéede to haue regarded a fooles spéeches but séeing he crept so farre into credit with her as he crackt her placket lace how could he of conscience call that iesting Doth Honestie talke of conscience to Bâ—ls bailiffes that haue no care of any thing but to saue their cassokes from being his purchase Now fie of all the Beadles of Bridewell if they spare such a sporter comming vnder their correction without double the dole they punish one of Baals common Priests with I would their blewe coates might fall to be Hindes fées vnlesse they giue such foure lustie lashes at euery kennell and stréets corner they passe by Why vnder the cloake of honest satisfaction to allure an honest minde to lewde corruption is no lesse thefte then robbing of Churches onely the Clarkes consent seemes in the one to craue some tolleration ouer it doth in the other Then you will say they deserue both to be hanged and so would Honestie say but that their christianity merites charitie But of my troth if Honestie were a Iustice such as sue after the selfesame order should either marrie with theÌ„ they haue deceiued or hang without them my minion going vnpunished for that time in hope of amendment Loue is a kinde hart and mariage is a swéete baire what then will not such promises gaine of a faithfull louer This iesting turnes to lingeing loue when the weakest hath surfeited in affection Swéet spéeches haue vowed euerlasting constancie and running in the pleasant meddowe of kindenes it growes lustie spending the remnant of his wooing to winne vnto such bad fare courting endes with such a charge changing professed loue into burning lust Loue lookes to be maintained with kindenes and when he hath got what wordes can affoorde then falles he to iesting which turns contrary to Chaucers meaning to yâ— satisfying of a leachers lust in earnest But too too much of this except it were better and once more returne we to our melâ—ncholly lefte mardemaide She poore soule set so lightly by in her fortie wéekes reckoning so thought on her present hard hap as she quite forgot her accompt wherby now she was in a worse takiÌ„g then before for if being put to her othe she should misse of that his counter othe would make but a so so end for her and therefore thus she bestirred her selfe in the matter She made her case knowne to a fréend and falling downe vpon her knées entreated him for the passion of our Lady to stand good helpe vnto her to draw her mate to marry with her Who being a very honest man yâ— had some care of her credit laboured so effectually in yâ— matter as what through promises and a peece of money he made it a match so that what through a little honestie my man was endued with and a peece of money my maiden was endowed with we had a choptlodgicke Now woe vnto such wooed spouses if their mates want altogether honestie and they haue no money and this might haue perchaunce wonne the standing in a white shéete without so good a maister Take héede girles how you trust to such helpes for Honestie can tell you they are not ordinarie It is harder to finde one such in euery parishe through a Countrie then to finde a honest woman in a house of Westminsters Hospitalitie Alas how many honest mens children come to decay through this practise Talke with any corrupted Virgine and excepting one amongst twentie if they all not agrée that such enticements were the procurers of their miserie neuer beléeue Honestie for a halfepennie Beware if a rich mariage be offered for a rewarde of breache of honestie there are fewe that will not consent to leacherie with such briberie But the opening of an other wound remaines with which loue is hurt by his courting enemies for they which haue beene once deceiued by flatterie will hardly be drawen to beléeue sinceritie whereby the faithfull sutor is hindred from his due The beaten dogge shuns the stick the tormeÌ„ted patient feares the Pothecaries drugs the childe that hath béene sore whipt for a fault will feare by offending to hazard his bréeche Who is more warie of his welfare then he that hath béen in greatest extremitie and if loue hath béen wounded with a dissembled affection he will be afraide to enter into an action from whence the like sorrowe may flowe What giues greater hope of constanice then vowed loyalty or what séemes swéeter then sugered flatterie Affection springeth of kinde vsage and loue settles on a continued shewe of professed zeale which being sure set caÌ„not be remoued wtout great danger except wisedome be a helper What sorrowe danger brings and what care discontentment harboureth he knowes not But of the vnceasing harts-gréefe with the tormenting soure-sauce which seasoneth the destruction of entire affection none can iudge saue those that haue tasted thereof onely it may be imagined by yâ— effects that haue followed the like causes as by the vntimely death it hath brought to some a depriuation of their wits to others languishing diseases to many namely the gréene sicknes the mother and such like and lastly to ali mad melancholye fits that they which are fauoured with the least mishap that comes through want of their longing are rewarded with the losse of a present wel-fare hauing that supplyed by a gifte of sighing heauines Now after yâ— fréedome from such a mischéefe who will not sweare to flie from the like danger And since flatterie cannot without dangerous triall be knowen from faithfull fréendship who will not shunne both fearing to mistake the one for the other If a kinde hart hath béene deceiued by a crooked knaue clad in the robes of a courteous louer she will euer after mistrust the habite for that it is vnpossible to know the hart Who can forbid the Tailor to vse his arte and doo you thinke that any one for an aduantage will let to trie his crafte The Diuell can change himselfe into any shape and the onely meanes to knowe him as is saide before is his stumpe foote Liking wil not be long a dooing and loue that followes is but little whereby he brings no great harme but al the mischéefe comes with desire which swelles the affections and predominates ouer loue and liking