heads of my sinnes make them flye and hide themselves in a cave as those enemies of Israel in the cave of Mackedah And if it so fall out that they take up their cave in the hollownesse of of my heart their wonted place to hide themselves I will either drowne them up with sorrow or smother them with my groanes or fire them with my Zeale Or if none of these will effect my desires even as Ioshua did to those Kings so will I to these I will open the mouth of the cave in my heart and bring out these Kings by a true confession yea I will sett my feete upon the very necks of them in a serious contempt and then will I smite them and slay them and hang them up in a holy revenge because they would have destroy'd my soule for which my Saviour suffered on the crosse This ô this is the way to prevaile with my Iesus to say unto mee as hee did to Zacheus Luc 19 9. Ps 56.4 Is 49.8 This day is salvation come to this house So shall I with comfort and thanksgiving acknowledg that Now is the accepted time now is the day of salvation Thus I shall not feare what flesh can doe unto mee no devills nor the world nor any thing else that seeketh my destruction Ps 12◠6 Rom. 8 28. The Sun shall not smite mee by day nor the Moone by night but all things shall worke together for good if I thus love God and be called according to his purpose And now mee think's this storme of teares hath produced a calme of content and peace I am now ready for my dinner But stay a while What all for the body Nothing for the soule Shall I pamper the flesh and starve the spirit This will not be a feast but a fast and insteed of satisfaction I shall rise with disturbance Act 17 11. I reade that the Bereans are styled more noble then those in Thessalonica in that they receaved the word with all readinesse of mind and searched the Scriptures dayly whether those things were so More noble There 's a title of honour O that I might gaine such a Berean nobility that all mine honour might be in searching the Scriptures the word of him who is the fountaine of honour Every thing is sanctified by the word of God 1. Tim. 4.5 prayer Common civility teacheth mee to pray for a blessing on the creatures But I must yet goe farther and pray with the heart as well as the lipps then reade with reverence Iam 1.21 and receave with meekenesse the ingrafted Word which is able to save my soule Grant blessed God that my first and best care may be for the nourishment and preservation of my soule and next to that Col 4.6 the sustenance of my body And to this purpose let my discourse at my meate be gratious seasoned with salt that I may know how I ought to answer every man And because thou hast commanded mee to use thy creatures for the preservation of my body Lord graunt mee a moderate appetite to my meate and give vertue to the meate that it may be fire for my nourishment Make it good and wholesome for mee and mee obedient and serviceable unto thee Let mee eate with moderation content and thanks giving allways observing the rule of Saint Paul 1. Cor. 10.31 that whether I eate or drinke or whatsoever I doe I may doe all to the glory of thee my God subject 6 THE SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of compassion in the time of prosperitie The Soliloquie treating of The vanitie of earthly riches and the reward of Charitie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe Apostle command's us to Beare one another's burdens Gal 6.2 and so to fullfill the lawe of Christ This law is Charitie and friendly affection which differeth from the law in the former Testament because that was a law of feare but this of love This law my Redeemer gave as a cognizance unto his disciples saying Io 13.35 By this shall all men know that yee are my disciples if yee love one another This hee prescribed as a rule vers 34 when hee sayd A new commandement I give unto you That yee love one another And this hee commended to our imitation even by the example of himselfe for what the Prophet fore-tould Ps 53.4 and sayd Surely hee hath borne our griefes and caried our sorrows even the very same his Apostle assure's us hee fullfilled 1. Pet 2 24. who his owne selfe bare our sins in his owne body on the tree This law of love which wee owe to our brethren is expressed chiefely in our giving and forgiving Wee must beare with their infirmities Rom 12.15 and forgive their offences Wee must rejoyce with them that rejoyce and weepe with them that weepe being of the same mind one towards another vers 16 Wee must rejoyce both with them and for them but this joy must arise from their good not their hurt Prov 2.14 There are some say's Solomon who rejoyce to doe evill This proceede's not from love but hatred for the Apostle tell 's mee that Charitie rejoyceth not in iniquity but rejoyceth in the trueth 1. Cor 13.6 Our mirth must joyne in concord with the joyfull and our rejoycing must be grounded on the good of our neighbours And as wee must have joy at their prosperitie so must wee likewise accord with them in their sorrowes for our very teares may be the ground of comfort unto mourners when by these wee discover the trueth of our affection and our readinesse to share in the burden of their afflictions Such a disciple as Christ delight 's in wee may certainly believe Saint Paul to have beene for wee find him rejoycing with the Philipians Phil 2.17 when hee saith If I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith I joy and rejoyce with you all For the same cause allso doe yee joy vers 18 and rejoyce with mee And againe wee find him grieving for the Iewes Rom ◠2. for hee hath greate heavinesse and continuall sorrow in his heart for them Vnto the Iewes hee became as a Iew 1. Cor 9.20 to them that were under the law as under the law to them that were without law as without law vers 21 to the weake hee became as weake vers 22 2. Cor 11.29 and hee was made all things to all men Who was weake hee was not weake Who was offended and hee burned not The fire of his compassion gave light to his brethren in the darknesse of their tribulations by which hee fullfilled that lawe of our Redeemer Hee fullfilled it why then should not I I confesse my ignorance my many imperfections make mee Infinitly unequall
fidelitie nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporall death O what would I not doe to call him back againe What would I not give to have him restored to life againe But all that I can either doe or give cannot perswade his soule to returne back to its prison Were I the most rich and wealthie in the world yet could not my treasures urchase his returne Noe noe I am well assured of the trueth of the Psalmist who saith that They who trust in their wealth Ps 49.6 and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches vers 7. none of them can by any meanes redeeme his brother nor give to God a ransome for him Well then seing that I cannot fetch him from the grave I will yet send up my sighes towards the place where hee is blessed This I may doe without any check either of reason or religion It was a curse which God did Inflict upon Iehojakim for his sinnes Ier 22.17 even for his coveteousnesse for his oppression and for his violence vers 18 That they should not lament for him saying Ah my brother But on the contrarie when Deborah though she was but Rebeckah's nurse was buried beneath Bethel under an oake Gen 35.8 the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth the oake of weeping When the enemies of David were sisited with sicknesse Ps 35.14 hee behaved himselfe as though they had beene his friends or his brethren yea hee bowed downe heavily as one that mourneth for his mother But hee who now is dead was not mine enemie but my friend yea and noe common friend but a brother yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection even as deare as a mother why then should I not sorrow for the losse of such a brother I will grieve I will lament when I remember the love and the courtesies which hee shewed unto mee and I will speake in the language of the Church to Christ and say O thou that wert my brother Cant 8.1 that sucked the breasts of my mother when I should find thee without I would kisse thee yet I should not be despised I will lament him as David did Saul and Ionathan and say 2. Sam. 1.19 vers 23 vers 26 The beautie of Israël is dead hee was lovely and pleasant in his life I am distressed for thee my brother very pleasant hast thou beene unto mee thy love to mee was wonderfull passing the love of women But what advantage to the dead are the teares of the living Can my sighes inspire life into his bosome Can a draught of my teares fetch him back againe to life O noe 't is this 't is this therfore that doeth heighten and increase my sorrowes even that my teares cannot recover him whom I lament But cease fond woman cease thy sobbs and cryes of discontent By the extreamitie of thy passion thou mayst hasten to his grave yet if thâ—… murderest thy selfe with excessive sorrow thy soule may be deprived of the locietie of his 'T is true indeede 't is most true Litle can I expect to come to heaven if I violently force my selfe from the earth Why then doe I take on as if I either suspected his happinesse or doubted of following him What comfore can it bring to his body of earth to have iâ— cabined in the grave with his dispersing asheâ— The dust of both of us may mixe in the vault and yet noe joy arise to our senselesse asher If his earth was that which drew mine affertion I see my fondnesse in the corruption of that earth but if his gracious soule was the object of my love I must strive to come where that surviveth To heaven hee 's gone and to heaven I 'll hasten and because I will goe the surest way I will walke in those paths which faith and patience shall direct mee in I will noe more disturbe the peace of my mind since that cannot helpe mee to the companie of him Weepe indeede I doe I am enforced unto it 't is the law of nature 't is an act of necessitie I cannot avoide it Yet though I weepe I will labour for content and since my God as I undoubtedly believe hath beene pleased to crowne my brother with glory I will beseech him to comfort mee here with his grace I will not immoderately weepe lest I injure my selfe I will not Weepe without hope lest I offend my Maker but that I may weepe as I should and hope as I ought live as I am required I will humble my selfe at the feete of him to whom my brother is gone and I will pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl mighty God ever-lasting father Is 9.6 thou in whom wee live and move and have pur beeing be pleased to take pittie upon thy distressed servant grieving for the losse of a â—eloved brother Thou knowest Lord how â—eerely our hearts were knitt in affection and â—herfore how justly I lament my losse Beâ—hold how these teares doe witnesse my love and imitate that oyntment on Aaron's head Ps 133.2 which went downe to the skirts of his out ward garments Behold how these dropps like that deaw of Harmon and that deaw which descended upon the mountaines of Zion vers 3. doe arise from that unitie which thou hast commanded O how shall I beare the losse of him whom thou in thy law didst charge mee to love Thou ô God didst tye us together in the bond of love yet thou thy selfe hast seperated him from my sight But since it was thy pleasure to receave him to thy selfe be pleased allso to hasten my journie to him Give mee patience to endure this stroake of thy scourge and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodnesse in his happinesse Him thou hast taken fronâ— the evills to come Rom 7 24. ô deliver mee allso from thiâ— body of death Make mee setle mine affectioâ— onely upon thee that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous lawes Give mee a sight of my sinnes for which I have not grieved so much as for the losse of my deceased brother and turne all my teares into a godly sorrow for offending thy majestie Be thou unto mee a father in thy provident care and a brother in thy love that all my wants may be supplyed by thy sufficience On earth I see there is nothing permanent Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven Mat 6.21 and then where my treasure is let my heart be allso When it shall be thy pleasure to free mee from this tabernacle of flesh ô let mee be receaved into that quire of Saints whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyfull member Graunt ô my God that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world I may sing tryumphant Halelujahs to thy praise and glory through the merits of him who is mine elder brother even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH
the Lord passed by her and looked upon her Eze 16 8. and behould her time was the time of love and hee spread his skirt over her and covered her nakednesse Yea and I have had a time of his love too when all this while that I have continued in obstinacie and rebellion hee hath yet deferred the execution of his justice But now most of all now ô my God I find and feele thy love which I was not sensible of before It is thy love that I affect thy love that I seeke thy love because I beginne to know my sinnes which hindered mee from the knowledg of thy love and among the rest of my sinnes because I now beginne to be sensible of my pretious but ill-spent and lost time And since thou hast now begunne thy love the manifestation of thy love to mee I am so much the more revived by how much I know that thou canst not choose but continue thy love even for my good that I may have time and knowledg and desire and power to love thee againe But especially for thine owne sake for thou that art eternall even thou and thou alone art likewise love for so the Apostle tell 's mee God is love 1. Io 4 16. Thy love therefore being thy selfe and thy selfe being eternall for thine owne sake ô love eternall continue unto mee thy love And that I may be the more sensible of it 1. Pet 4 3. Lord let it suffice that the time past of my life I have wrought the will of the Gentiles vers 7. when I walked in all manner of wickednesse ungodlinesse And now seeing the end of allthingsis at hand make mee to be sober to watch unto prayer Make mee to walke circumspectly Eph 5.15 vers 16 nos as a foole but as the wise Redeeming the time because the dayes are evill But how shall I redeeme the time since I have allready quite lost it There is noe other way but by un-doeing un-sinning the evill which I have hitherto committed and this must be with my present sorrowes for my past my deluding ioyes Lord will one teare serve thy turne for one sinne I know it is too litle I confesse it and yet that one for one is more then I can give for my teares can be but finite but few whereas my sinnes are many are infinite But may one teare serve thee for all my sinnes Alasse that 's too litle in all conscience and yet even that is more then by nature I am willing to give I must I must weepe if ever I hope to receave any comfort yea and when I have wept as much as I well can weepe even then I must endeavour to weepe because I can weepe noe more David was a man and yet hee could weepe yea hee had so many teares that hee was charitablie pleased to dispose of some for others yea very many for his owne words are Ps 119.136 Rivers of waters runne downe mine eyes because men keepe not thy law I am a woman and shall I have noe teares I can cry sometimes for anger and that is onely to satisfie a sinfull passion I can cry some times for a losse when as that which I loose is not worth a teare O if ever I will be angry while I live let mee be angry now Let mee be angry at my selfe for misse-spending my time Let me be heartily angry even till I cry againe O if ever losse was greate I am sure that mine is for I have lost my time my pretious time my whole time even my whole life ever since I was borne unto this very minuit Otherwise I might have had in all this space whole millions of good thoughts and speeches and actions and sobbs and teares registred in heaven against my appearing at the tribunall But instead of those I have filled the booke of remembrance of my God with nothing but vanities and follies with sinnes and wickednesse with omissions and commissions so many and so grievous that unlesse they be blotted out there is noe remedy but I my selfe must be blotted out of the booke of life But there is yet hope so long as there is life There is hope that they may be expunged but then I must beginne the worke in my repentance and so blott them with my teares O that I were now a very piller of salt Gen 19 26. even such a one as Lot's wife was turned into though not with her backsliding not with her looking back and longing to returne to Sodome againe Noe noe that were to repent of my repentance and to undoe what I have begunne But I would be salt because a teare is so and I would be all salt a whole pillar of falt that so in my repentance I might be all sorrow all teares and melt quite away in my laments for my wickednesse for thus might I beginne to blott out the sinns which I have committed But if I may not have that wish Lord let mee howsoëver weepe as much as I may as much as nature and grace can possiblie wring from the eyes of a woman and when I have thus endeavoured to beginne to blott out the offences of the time which is past then helpe mee ô my God assist mee ô Christ ô Iesus and with thy most pretious blood which was â—hed upon the crosse blott them all out of thy remembrance for ever and ever part 2 The second part Of the Soliloquie A consideration of the time present IT is the practise of the wise to redeeme the time past to governe well the time present and carefully to provide for the time to come That which is past may be redeemed â—y sorrow at the time which is present and the well imploying of the present may prepare us for the future I have wickedly lost â—hat time which is past I would therfore dispose well of that which is present And yet Lord how swiftly doe's this present time hasten away If I marke but the pulse of my watch I heare it cry tick tick tick tick as â—ast as I can well count and yet that come's not neere a full informing mee of the flight of the time Alack the last minuit is already gone that which is present is but an â—nstant and not discernable it continueth at most but the twinkling of an eye and yet the present moment is often lost in the expectation of the future The minuits fty and stay not the accountant's leasure The dayes hasten and in their swift expedition chide my negligence and slownesse in religion But if I well consider it my time is not so short but I am an ill house-wife of it there 's the fault I receave not a short life but I make it short for I am not driven to a poverty of time but contrarily I am guilty of the prodigalitie I am carefull and provident for my outward estate and with all my discretion and industrie I endeavour at least to
pronounced against them who take away the right from the poore of the people of the Lord that widowes may be their prey and that they may robbe the fatherlesse Yea and from God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon the advice is given Remove not the ould land-marke Prov. 23.10 and enter not into the fields of the fatherlesse By the Allmighty to the fatherlesse friends are raised thus was Iob Iob. 29.12 I delivered the poore saith hee that cryed and the fatherlesse and him that had none to helpe him c 31.17 And againe hee saith If I have eaten my morsell alone and the fatherlesse hath not eaten thereof vers 22 then let mine arme fall from the showlder-blade and mine arme be broken from the bone Thus if I am God's then God will be mine If in my wants I misse my father my God will relieve mee if in my troubles I want my father my God will deliver mee What could my earthly parent have added to my content which my heavenly parent cannot much more supply If therfore I grieve too much for the death of him I forget my God who liveth for ever If too much I complaine of his absence who delighted in mee I manifest my rebellion against him who should be my delight Mat. 6.9 Hee taught mee to pray and when I pray hee taught mee to say Our father which art in heaven On him therfore will I depend who is the father of all that believe in him Rom. 4.11 To him in my wants will I addresse my selfe who is the giver of all Iam. 1.17 Upon him will I call and to him will I cry and say The Prayer ALl-mighty God heavenly father who art a Lord of comfort Rom. 15.5 and a God of consolation looke downe upon a sinfull and distressed orphane bereft of the joy and helpe of an earthly parent Thou ô Lord didst send mee unto him that thy Kingdome might be increased and thou hast taken him from mee that my faith and patience might be fully tryed I was apt to forget thee while hee was living looking upon him as the donour of blessings and neglecting thee from whom they proceeded I relyed too much on the arme of flesh 2 Chr. 32.8 and trusted too fondly in the power of man but now thou hast humbled mee by his mortalitie and taught mee wholly to rely and depend upon thee Mine owne unworthinesse of so loving a father made thee to take him away from mine eyes My dis-obedience to his commands and my neglect of honouring him according to thy lawes have provoked thee to anger and to deprive mee of his comfort Lord forgive my manifold offences since I find that all flesh is but as grasse 1. Pet. 1 24. Iam. 4.14 and that the life of man is but as a vapour which van sheth away make mee allways to apply my service wholly unto thee who livest forever Remember thy promises which thou hast made unto the fatherlesse and that I may be capable of those thy promises give mee grace to become thy child by obedience Thou ô Lord art my father to whom belongeth honour Mal. 1.6 thou art my master and requirest mee to feare thee Lord make mee feare to offend thee who art a righteous judge and make mee love and honour thee who art a gracious father Be with mee in all the wayes wherein I shall walke in this mortall life Lu 1.79 guiding my feete into the way of peace Comfort mee in my sorrowes support mee in my miseries provide for mee in my wants and in all places and at all times be thou my father Ps 62.6 Ps 82.3 my rock and my strong salvation Doe thou defend the poore and fatherlesse doe justice to the afflicted and needie Supply all my wants and conferre upon mee all necessarie blessings O be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne that I may here depend upon thy fatherly protection hereafter be receaved into thy celestiall Kingdome there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 23 THE TWENTIE-THIRD SUBJECT Teares for the death of a beloved brother And may likewise serve at the decease of any other faithfull friend The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Friend saith King Solomon loveth at all times Prov. 17.17 and a brother is borne for adversitie Friendship which is begotten by the outward forme or any other sinister and by respect liveth noe longer then that ground of affection but nature is stronger then our election can bee and religion obligeth farre more then both O how greate then is my losse of my dearest brother in whom both excellency of feature neerenesse of blood and a gracious conversation conspired together to render him matchlesse To mee hee was a friend but now to the grave what losse can be greater then the losse of a friend To mee hee was a brother but now to the wormes and what losse can be more deplorable then the losse of a brother But to mee hee was yet more hee was a friend in his love and courtesies a brother by his blood yea and an instructer a teacher of religion and goodnesse and yet nor love nor blood nor religion could preserve him mine O what sorrowes doe accompanie all thing transitorie His love could not dye but his body could and so I am deprived of the societie of my brother because my brother was subject to corruption But is this the adversitie for which hee was borne according to King Solomon Did the wise man intend that a brother is borne to bring adversitie Or rather to comfort us in the time of adversitie Had hee beene a cause of my least disturbance while hee was living hee would have eased my griefe by grieving himselfe Hee would have comforted mee in the time of trouble had hee lived to see my grievous mourning But now alas I am left to lament alone and so much the more for the want of his comfort I now must grieve for him who was my joy and my laments and my griefes increase the higher because for his sake they arise who cannot allay them Had wee lived in hatred his death peradventure might have beene my comfort Had wee loved but sleightly a teare or two I might have thought enough to pay at his funerall But our love was firme it was strong yea strong as death Cant. 8.6 and who then can blame mee if my sorrowes in some measure keepe pace with my love O what tye can be so greate as that of affection What love so greate as of a brother and sister And yet so vaine is man so fraile are mortalls that either our affection or our persons must have a divorce Had my deceased brother
forgotten the tye and bond of nature and in his life had hee turned his love into hatred yet his fault ought not to have lessened my love to which both nature and religion did strongly oblige mee Had hee loved mee but coldly and faintly as diverse doe yet I ought to have warmed his affection with the fervency of mine But oh hee deerely loved hee cordâ—ally affected mee and yet his love and his affection could not prolong his life There was a time when Moses was in the Mount and while hee was receaving the written lawes of our glorious Maker the Israëlites in his absence worshipped a Calfe insteed of the law-giver But when Moses returned hee was so wrath with the people that for so greate an offence against the law of God hee decreed a revenge against the law of nature yet was not that revenge provoked by a private and â—n-warranted fury but commanded by God for so hee speaketh to the sonnes of Levi and telleth them Ex 32.27 Thus saith the Lord God of Israël Put every man hissword by his side goe in and out from gate to gate through out the campe and slay every man his brother every man his companion and every man his neighbour Neighbours might be neere in habitation yet not in affection theÌ„ the sword would devoure greedily Companions might love in a superficiall manner yet not in the heart and then the sword might wound with freedome though perhaps not with desire yea and such contentions might arise in companie that the sword might execute at the selfe same time as well a private as the publike revenge But that a brother should slay a brother a brother more strongly allyed by spirit then flesh a brother whose veines did swell with the selse-same blood as his that executed him ô this mee think's did seeme very cruell But let mee not erre in my forward censure there can be noe true affection where there is not religion If a brother offend if a brother transgresse the lawes of God religion will pleade to silence nature when hee who is to be beloved above before all shall require our justice even against our brethreÌ„ Alas what a sad time was it with those idolaters when the punishment did appeare as full of terrour in the actors as the sufferers Yea it seemed easier to dye by the hand of a brother then to live to remember the brethren they had slaine Had my brother and I beene idolaters together I might have believed that that sinne had slaine my brother But as our love was constant so our religion was undefiled yea the strength of our love was founded on the puritie of our religion and yet hee hath payed his debt to nature Is 19.2 The Lord did threaten to set the Egyptians against the Egyptians and that they should sight every one against his brother Those Egyptians were heathens and enemies to the church but mybrother and I were united both in the profession and the love of Christianitie and yet through our finnes I feare that even wee destroy each other My sinnes are partly punished in his death and his death hath given mee so deepe a wound that peradventure I shall not long survive him Our love was so entire that mee think's I could willingly sleepe with him in his grave for while I live my breast is but his walking monument Such love as ours did not allwayes possesse the hearts of some as neerely allyed which maketh mee sigh to thinke that ever there were any which had layen successively in the selfe same wombe and yet did not joyne in the unitie of affection Such there have beene I must believe it because I find it in the sacred text Yet when I reade it mee think's I have a thriling in my blood and a kind of holy revengâ— burning in my heart against those who dishonoured the name of a brother There was a time when the Iewes were so wicked that the Prophet was faine to advise them saying Take yee heede every one of his neighbour Ier. 9.4 and trust yee not in any brother for every brother will supplant and every neighbour will walke with slanders And there was a time when the Church complaining of her small increase cryed out in bitternesse and sayd The good man is perished out of the earth Mich 7 2. there is none upright among men They all lye in wayte for blood they hunt every man his brother with a nett Mee think 's the advice of the Prophet may in some measure concerne my selfe for I am taught not to trust in any brother since hee whom I loved hath now forsaken mee Mee think 's the complaint of the Church may be part of an Elegie upon my deceased brother for with her I may cry out and that justly too The good man is perished out of the earth But neither can I say that hee was a Iew in supplanting or an enemie to the Church lying in wayte for blood What secret devill did guide both the tongue and the hand of Ioab when under the collour of friendship hee asked Amasa 2. Sam. 20.9 Art thou in health my brother And tooke him by the beard with the right hand to kisse him yet even at that time some him with his sword in the fifth ribb and shed out his bowells to the ground that hee dyed vers 10 What cursed fiend did guide the tongue of that wicked miscreant whom the Psalmist chargeth thus and saith Ps 50.20 Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother thou slanderest thine owne mothers sonne Had my brother either supplanted mee or hunted mee with a nett or sought to slay mee or slandered mee with his tongue then I might peradventure have saved this greate expence of my teares But hee was allways so good a brother that I could never justly charge him with the least discourtesie O noe Ps 55.14 wee tooke sweete counsell together and walked unto the house of God in companie I may say of him as Nehemiah spake of Hanani the ruler of the pallace Neh 7.2 Hee was a faithfull man and feared God above many His blood was neere to mee but his soule was neerer His person I loved as I was prompted to it by nature but his inner man I more zealously affected to which I was allured by his gracious endowments Such a one in some measure hee was as my Redeemer himselfe did style his brother Mat 12 49. vers 50. when hee stretched forth his hand towards his disciples and sayd Behold my mother and my brethren for whosoëver shall doe the will of my father which is in heaven the same is my brother and sister and mother And yet though thus hee was my counseller though thus hee was my companion in the wayes of godlinesse though thus faithfull hee was and feared God above many labouring to doe the will of him that sent my Redcemer yet neither his counsell nor his society nor his
lips or with a double heart And though thus single was my heart 1 King 4.29 yet was it noe small one it was large God had given unto mee as unto Solomon both wisedome Ps 119.32 Ps 17.3 and understanding and largnesse of heart and like David I did runne the way of his commandements when hee had thus enlarged it This large heart was a proved one too for God had proved it and Visited mee and tryed mee when I was purposed that my mouth should not transgresse Ps 7.9 1. Chr 29.17 Ps 26.2 It was tryed tryed by my God by my righteous God which tryeth the hearts and reines even by him who tryeth the heart and hath pleasure in uprightnesse the very selfe same God did examine mee and prove mee hee tryed my reines my heart And this loving heart this broken yet whole heart this sound and single heart Ps 101.2 1. King 8.61 Act 16.14 this large and tryed heart was found perfect I did walke with in my house with a perfect heart it was perfect with the Lord my God to walke in his statutes to keepe his commandements It was an open heart it was opened lke Lydia's that I could attend to the things that were spoken by our Pauls It opened so wide or at least with sorrow it was so filled that at length it broke Ier 23.9 Mine heart within mee like unto Ieremiah's was broken all my bones did shake I was like a drunken man and like a man whom wine hath overcome O full well too it thē was with mee even when my heart was broken for it had beene stone nothing but stone before when neither promises nor mercies neither menaces nor judgments could worke upon it It had beene a stone a three-cornerd stone untill it pleased him to breake it who is the head-stone in the corner the head-stone Mat 21 42. because the strongest in the whole building sustaining the fabrick The head-stone in the corner knitting cimenting and uniting together both the Iewes and the Gentiles 1. Pet 2 8. The head-stone in the corner who is a stone of stumbling unto many and a rock of offence at which the Iewes tooke such offence that they hurt them selves against this stone in the corner Yet hee that was reiected by the Iewes and scornfully under-vallewed was unto mee a most skillfull excellent lapidarie hee knew the stone of my heart and at mine intreatie hee broke it hee broke it in pieces Yea hee wrought so powerfully in mee that through the helpe of him I had learned to rent it to rent my heart Ioel 2.13 and not my garments and turne to the Lord my God It was made an acceptable sacrifice to my God for I had a broken spirit a broken Ps 51.17 a contrite heart which hee will noe despise Hee hee is that great Iehouah who is high Ies 57.15 and excellent who inhabiteth eternitie whose name is holy who dwelleth in the high and holy place yet with him all so that is of a contrite humble spirit to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite ones Hee it is who hath promised that hee will not breake a bruised reede Is 42.3 nor quench the smoaking flaxe but on the contrarie Ps 147 3. will heale the broken in heart and bind up their wounds By him who is thus high and excellent by him who is thus full of compassion as not to bruise the reede nor quench the flaxe by him who is thus infinite in mercy that hee healeth those that are broken in heart even by the same God in testimonie of his love was my stony heart broken O it had beene an uncircumcised heart Deut. 30.6 but afterwards the Lord my God did circumcise it to love himselfe with all my heart and with all my soule that I might live So open so broken so rent so contrite so circumcised it was Act 7.51 that I resisted not the Holy Ghost Lord what happie dayes did I then enioy when my heart was thus qualified with goodnesse When it was thus acceptable to my God! But now alasse 't is quite otherwise That heart that good heart of mine is gone is lost is polluted Peradventure some anger had beene seated in my gall but I laboured that it should not increase into a sin Peradventure some joy was placed in my splene but that joy howsoëver was chiefly in the Lord and in my heart was carefully preserved the feare of his name That heart was then the cabinet the store house the treasurie of wisedome wherein were two with-drawing chambers divided but by a partition in which were placed the fountaines of lively blood of life it selfe even the life of grace given by the liberall hand of the God of my life But now oh my poore heart it hath forsaken this breast this breast of a distressed forlorne woman and in the roome thereof is crept into my bosome a heart so hard that when I sinite my breast in my deepest sorrow my very hand re-bound's by reason of the hardnesse of this rockie heart Often have I heard people complaine of the stone in the kidnies or the bladder but I am enforced to a new complaint even of the stone in the heart O that my God would cutt it and take this stone out of it or else give mee such a potion of sorrow and contrition that it might prove the most soveraigne saxafrage to break this stone A stone here is wich I can feele both by the weight and the hardnesse there of but what kind of stone I cannot determine Surely it can be noe pomoise none of that stone which in some sort may be sayd to be even heavier then it selfe because though when it is whole it is full of pores full of holes very hollow even as hollow as my heart yet when it is broken in pieces when it is stamped and beaten to powder it seemes to be more ponderous then when it was whole If such a one be in my heart ô that my God would breake this heart ô that hee would grind it or beate it to powder then peradventure it would be heavy for my sinns and ponder mine iniquities Or it may be that such a stone is in it as those were which the Lord did promise that the Israelites should find in the land of Canaan Deut. 8 9. even stones that were iron for surely my heart is as hard as iron And yet though it be so the patient Iob assureth mee that euen waters weare the stones Iob 14.19 O that my God would cause the trickling of my teares to weare away the stone of my heart Or if it be iron ô that hee would cause it to swimme in the Iordane of my sorrowes as once Elisha caused the iron and steele to doe 2. King 6.6 which were tempered together in the head of the are When I feele for my good heart oh
the hatred wherewith hee hated her was greater then the love wherewith hee hath loved her Have not I beene sick with Amnon too Have not I longed and pined and lingered after unlawfull pleasures and wicked delights What though they grew not into the height of incest or adulterie of the body My poore soule that was a virgin hath beene ravished hath beene deflowred with delusions and at length hath beene conquered by the violence of the tempter O my God doe thou be pleased to put such an enmitie hereafter betweene the tempter and the sinner that my soule may hence forward abhorre those suggestions as the sated ravisher did his sister that the hatred wherewith shee shall hate them may be greater then the love wherewith shee hath loved them Such a bed as this or at least thus designed for a nest of repose did Ahab lay him downe upon and turned away his face 1. King 21.4 and would eate noe bread when hee was come into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Iezreelite had spoken unto him for hee had sayd I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers Here was trouble and discontent and presently tossing and tumbling upon the bed and all because a poore subject would not sell his litle vineyard to the greate King All this was but for a litle spott of ground so small that it was not so much as a graine of the finest sand to the mountaine of Ararat in comparison of this globe and fabrick of the earth But I might have a Kingdome greater then the world above the world which I should not buy but onely begge upon my humble suite it would be freely given mee and yet though hithexto I have neglected it I throw not my selfe upon my bed in a sad and pensive discontent because I have beene backward in sieking and petitioning for it But in steed of thus lying on my bed into it I goe and in it I lye downe where I rather choose to sleepe away the thought of it then in a holy ambition contrive the way to be possessed there of Such a bed as this did the harlot speake of when shee enticed her lover Pro 7.16 saying I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestrie with carved worke vers 17 with fine linnen of Egypt I have perfumed my bed with myrrhe aloes and cynamon vers 18 Come let us take our fill of love untill the morning let us sollace our selves with love O what enticements were there to wickedness What provocations to uncleanesse Richer were the coverings of the harlot's bed and much more vallewable then was the person of the owner Those perfumes were ordained more for necessity then delight and yet the stinke of her wickednesse out-vyed the fragrancy of the myrrhe and the cynamon How mee thinks doe I or at least should I loath the impudency of such a tempting adulteresse What a staine is a harlot to our fraile sexe when shee whose beauty should be discovered by the modesty of a blush doe's shamefully importune her lover to uncleanes And yet such a one might I have beene too had not the grace of my preserver made mee detest the offence Even to such folly was I prone by nature but from it am I withdrawne by the mercy of my God The adulteresse Iezabel had made such use of the place of repose just it was therfore that the Lord should cast her into a bed Reu. 2.22 and them that committed adulterie with her into greate tribulation except they would repent them of their deedes The bed may be a place for punâ—shment as well as for ease and those who defile it with uncleanesse may looke to be a burden unto it and it unto them in their diseases It is but justice that sinne should be punished in the very place where 't is committed Let mee therfore examine my selfe and if God in mercy hath preserved mee from the pollution let mee try if yet there lurke not an intent in the thought Yet here I must not stay I must consider with my selfe that there is a spirituall fornication too as well as a corporall and that idolatrie is a spirituall adulterie Thus upon a loftie Is 57.7 and high mountaine had Iudah sett her bed and thither went shee up to offer sacrifice Thus the Babylonians came to idolatrous Aholibah into the bed of love Eze. 23 17. and they defiled her with their whoredome and shee was polluted with them If I am free from this adulterie I must blesse the Lord my God the jealous God Ex 20.3 who sayd in his commandement Thou shalt have none other Gods but mee If I have beene guilty I will besiech him with my teares to remitt mine offences and through his grace to preserve mee from a future relapse On such a bed as this doth the wicked usually devise his mischiefe Ps 36.4 when hee setteth himselfe in noe good way nor abhorreth that which is evill Against such did the prophet cry out and say Mich. 2 â— Woe unto them that devise iniquity worke evill upon their beds when the morning is light they practise it because it is in the power of their hands From this I feare I have not beene free for have noe wicked purposes have noe sinfull devices beene forged ben contrived in my bed When my meditations should have beene fixed and fastened upon my God have I never entertained the suggestions of the Devill Have I never prided my selfe in the richnesse of the ornaments of my chamber and my bed In the coverings of the walls the curious hangings In the deckings of the bed the curtaines and vallences Have not my desires beene wandering after the furniture of a King Ect. 1.6 even King Ahasuerus who had white and greene and blew hangings fastened with cords of fine linnen and purple to silver rings and pillars of marble Have I not wished for his beds of gold and silver upon a pavement of red and blew and white and black marble Or hath not my bed beene the bed of wantonnesse or immoderate ease Have I not beene like unto those against whom the Prophet pronounceth the woe saying Amos. 6.1 vers 4. Woe unto them that are at ease in Sion That lye upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eate the lambes out of the flock and the calves out of the midest of the stall I must not be too indulgent to my selfe Too much selfelove may prove my destruction The sinnes which I am guilty of must not be denyed neither may they lye drie with mee in my bed O noe Therfore lest I sleepe too much or they have rest too much or the devill entertainment too much that uncleane spirit Mat 12.43 whose custome it is in drie places to sieke his rest I am resolved with David Ps 6.6 that every night I will make my bed to swimme and will water my
yet slept that hee had neede to be awaked Is 65.1 Noe noe hee that was found of them that sought him not would not without cause deny himselfe to her who sought him with diligence It was his promise to the captives in Babylon that after seaventie yeeres they should returne to Ierusalem Ier 29.10 vers 12 and should call upon him and goe and pray unto him and hee would hearken unto them They should seeke him vers 14 and find him when they should search for him with all their hearts How then came it to passe that his Spouse did misse of him especially in the bed where shee might justly expect him Alasse alasse shee thought her selfe so sure of her beloved that shee layd her selfe downe as on the bed of ease but supposing him to be with her shee missed his companie and though shee sought him by solitary meditation yet shee found him not In the night shee sought him in the night of her afflictions but shee found him not not presently that because shee neglected his grace when hee offered it unto her or because shee kept it not carefully when hee gave it unto her Yet Is 54.8 though in a litle wrath hee hid his face from her for a moment Cant. 3.4 shee afterwards found him whom her soule loved And why then should not I hope to find him too though in my bed though in the night It is not through sloath that I seeke him here but 't is in the fervency of my affection that now awaking I would find him here If yet I cannot find him here if thou hidest thy selfe from mee ô my sweetest Iesus that either in judgment for mine offences or in thy love that thou mayst heighten and inflame mine affection I will doe as the Israelites did at the newes which was brought them by those that were sent to search the land I will lift up my voyce cry yea Num. 14.1 Ps 6.6 with the people too I will weepe all night Or with the Prophet David All the night will I make my bed to swimme and water my couch with my teares Or with Samuel for Saul 1 Sam. 15.11 I will cry unto God all the night Or as King Darius for Daniel in the Lyons denne Dan 6.18 I will passe the night fasting while my sleepe goeth from mee Or as David againe when his child was sick I will fast and lye all the night upon the carth 2. Sam. 12.16 rather then I will not find thee ô my Saviour Thus when I have found him whom my soule loveth then untill the day breake and the shadowes fly away Cant. 2 17. hee shall turne and be like a Roe or a young Hart upon the mountaines of Bether Weepe indeede I may weepe I must for I sent my faith as a Spie to the promised land to the celestiall Canaan and shee through her weakenesse and feare hath brought me word that the citty is walled Num. 13.26 as if I could not or should not enter But with Caleb vers 30 I will resolve that I wil gâ—e up and possesse it for I know that through the assistance of my Iesus I shall be able to conquer Weepe I must 1. Sam. 15.11 with Samuel for my Saul for my poore soule which hath turned back from following my God and hath not performed his commandements But I will not onely weepe but will allso question my Saul vers 14 and say What meaneth this bleating of the sheepe in mine eares and this lowing of the oxen which I heare What meaneth the noise of my lesser offences and the roaring of the greater which are larger and fatter then the bulls of Basan I will thus examine my soule and then I will cry for her vers 24 untill shee shall confesse that shee hath sinned and transgressed the commandements of God Weepe I must with King Darius for my Daniel for my heart Dan. 6.2 Ps 57.4 1. Chr. 12.18 Ier. 50.17 2. Sam. 12.15 vers 22 which is the chiefe of my Presidents for 't is in the lyon's denne my soule is among lyons it is wounded with lyons with such mighty sinnes that their faces are as were David's worthies even like the faces of lyons These lyons these Kings of Assyria and Babylon have scattered this my Israel and driven her away and allmost devoured her Weepe I must with David for my child my darling soule for it is stricken it is very sick yea I will fast and I will weepe for who can tell whether God will be gratious to mee that the child may live Why should not such thoughts as these entertaine the howres which are borrowed from my slumbers Dan. 2.29 King Nebuchadnezzar had thoughts came into his mind upon his bed for so Daniel styleth his dreames what should come to passe hereafter 2. Chr. 7.12 The Lord appeared to Solomon by night after his dedication of the teÌ„ple sayd unto him I have heard thy prayer and have chosen this place to my selfe for an house of sacrifice Iacob had a vision by night Gen. 28. 12. vers 13 vers 16 and in a dreame was promised the land where hee flept Thus sleeping or waking I hope that it shall be truely sayd The Lord is in this place True it is that the night is the presenter of dismall apparitions to diverse persons and the absence of the Sunne in many is the discoverer of the weakenesse of faith But surely those that feare the shadow of a fant'sie doe not truely feele the power of faith which according to the Apostle is the substance of things hoped for Heb. 11 1. and the evidence of things not seene The diseases of the body make sick men sensible of the want of the Sunne for to them the nights administer both anguish and melancholie Ps 77.2 Iob. 7.3 David's sore ranne in the night and ceased not his soule refused comfort Iob was made to possesse moneths of vanity and wearisome nights were appointed to him His bones were pierced in the night-seasons C. 30.17 and his sinewes tooke noe rest Yea as well the healthfull as the sick may find the night a producer of affliction even those that are most laborious Eccl. 2.22 and industrious in the world What hath man of all his labour saith the Preacher and of the vexation of his heart wherein hee hath laboured under the Sun vers 23 For all his dayes are sorrowes and his travaile griefe yea his heart taketh not rest in the night To the sick and to the healthfull in time of peace in time of watre the night hath often beene a time of sorrow 2. King 19.35 Once did the Lord send his Angel which went and smote in the campe of the Assyrians an hundred fourescore and five thousand when they arose early in the morming behould they were all dead corpses Thus have miseries siezed on diverse in the silent
Christianitie seemes to be but the labour of the voyce for if men did believe what the Scriptures teach they surely would practise something of Charitie Thus I sitt and sigh and grieve and expostulate and complaine but yet I forget what I ought to consider of I am apt to repine at this poverty which I suffer but I am un-apt to enquire into the cause thereof Solomon tell 's mee that Prov. 19.15 Slothfullnesse casteth into a deepe sleepe an idle soule shall suffer hunger That hunger I feele but doe I acknowledg that idlenesse Doe I confesse that slothfullnesse If I should examine my hands what worke they have done would not their smoothnesse and whitenesse accuse them of idlenesse If I should aske mine eyes how vigilant they have beene in a lawfull imployment would they not drowzily and bashfully slinke behind the curtaines Let mee then remember how Solomon telleth mee c. 23.21 that drowsinesse shall cloath one with raggs And yet mee think's this is not all There must be some-thing else that bring 's this affliction Let mee but consider a litle and reason with my selfe It may be I may find out some-thing more by a diligent search I live upon the earth I live in the world Earth I had the best of earth in the esteeme of earth I had gold and silver so much esteemed and honoured by man In the world I am yet now my coyne is gone I am here but a stranger I did know many but in the change of my fortune I am known of none If I call to the earth which so much I have loved it will not un-bowell it selfe to offer mee it's intraills I cannot tell how neither to prick a veine of it to enrich my selfe as the delvers doe though shee tremble at the violence If I sue to the world I am there neglected Ps 31.12 I am forgotten like a dead man out of mind or like a broken vessell Whence ariseth this un-kindnesse of the earth Whence proceede's this forgetfullnesse of the world Certainly the earth of it selfe had not malice enough to sieke my ruine Surely the world of it selfe had not cruelty enough to contrive my un-doeing Noe noe there 's some-thing yet which I have not discovered that question-lesse hath brought this poverty upon mee I sigh my sighes goe up-ward mee think's toward heaven I looke with a steady and stedfast eye but 't is up-ward I looke 't is chiefely upon heaven I mourne and I cry and my word is chiefely O Lord O God Who is this I name so often in my laments Who is this I mention so often in my cryes Is it not the Lord Is it not God To heaven goe my sighes upon heaven looke mine eyes on the God of heaven doe I call and yet though hee 's in my sighes in mine eyes and in my tongue I have all this while forgotten to entertaine him in my heart Surely if hee had hitherto dwell't in my soule I should either have enjoyed more of the earth or lesse of my love to it That which I have left so un-willingly I have loved too much and in that love I have sinned too much and by that sinne I have moved him to anger who hath sent mee this poverty Yes yes 't is hee 't is hee that maketh poore and maketh rich 1. Sam. 2.7 that bringeth low and lifteth up All this while I have lived in such ignorance that either I knew him not or at least I honoured him not I lived as if there were noe other God but onely mammon noe happinesse but on earth noe treasures but gold and noe content but in plenty If I ever remembred him it was to his dishonour if ever I spake of him it was in prophanenesse I never doubted of his love therfore never prayed for his blessing or if I did pray it was coldly it was faintly and rather to satisfie the world then to discharge my duety or in an awfull manner to have recourse to his Majesty I measured his favours by my out-ward possessions and deemed them blessings which hee sent in wrath but I hope it will prove that hee hath taken them in mercy Graunt blessed God that now I may know thee in this my miserie who formerly forgot thee in the height of my plenty and that knowing thee I may love thee and that loving thee I may depend on thee that depending on thee I may serve and honour thee all the dayes of my life O now mee think's I am another woman I beginne to feele some warmth at my heart I find that my God doeth speake to my conscience Lord send mee repentance that I may be sorrie for my sinnes send mee thy grace that I may have share in thy promises send mee a lively faith that I may relye upon the merits of my blessed Redeemer and howsoever thou disposest of this body of flesh preserve my soule for thy celestiall kingdome O what a suddaine alteration doe I find in my selfe My teares that savoured of murmuring and despaire shall flow aboundantly for the sinnes I committed World leawd world thou art a jugler and an impostour Earth base earth thou art a cozener and a deluder I silly woman did place my happinesse in your transitorie courtesies and thought it the chiefe honour to become your minion But now I see that you fayle your servants and mocke your lovers There 's noe constancy but in God There 's noe comfort or happinesse but in Christ The more I sieke him the more I love him and the more I love him the more I am beloved of him Hee will not deceave mee hee will not leave mee nor forsake mee Lord let me be thine though hungry though thirstie though naked I come unto thee I am sure that if I serve him I shall be provided for by him Hee can doe it for hee hath enough Col. 1.16 Hee created all things and his they are by whom they were created O let him give mee a litle with content rather then so much as I had with forgetfullnesse of him I care not how litle I possesse so I may enjoy my Lord. The birds doe never thinke of a morrow and yet their hunger is satisfied every moment The herbes the flowers are infensible of their verdure and yet they infinitely out-vye King Solomon in his glory Mat. 6.29 The rivers that steale from the billowed ocean and sport awhile in the massie earth are at length directed to the sea againe The stone that is digged from the quarries in the earth to serve for necessity and ornament of our structures findeth rest at last in a silent heape where making a way by it's heavy weight it steale's back by degrees into the wombe of the earth In each of these I discover a providence for hee who first created doeth still preserve O let him be mine and then I shall be his O let mee be his then hee shall be mine If I be his
deepe sleepe fell upon Adam in which of a rib that was taken from his side was made a woman the wife of his bosome Thus was mariage instituted at first in paradise and though after the woman was framed by the Creatour c 2.31 it is not directly sayd shee was very good yet seing it was verified of Adam it was true of Eve both of them yet remaining innocent O blessed was that time when the husband and wife were so truely one 2. King 19.22 that they were free from offending the holy one But they stood not long in this their integritie for they conspiring together in the first offence layed the foundation of discord and division From hence doe flow the disturbances of mariage c 3.24 and since Adam and Eve were driven out of Paradise neither is virginitie allways contented neither is wedlock free from disquietnesse Ps 78.58 vers 59 vers 63 When the Lord. was moved to jealousie by the idolatrous Israelites hee greately abhorred them in so much as hee caused the fire to consume their young men and their maidens were not given to mariage Well might the Psalmist say hee was wrath when the maidens were deprived of their â—uptiall honours Yet had the virgins knowne the cares of wedlock peradventure their curse might have beene deemed a blessing Wee who are taken from the wings of our parents fieke for our content in the bosomes of our husbands yet lest wee should idolatrously dote on them that are our heads even thence many times doe flow our disturbances whence wee expect our happinesse But why alasse doe arise those stormes of discontent Mariage should unite the hearts and affections Eph 5.31 and those who thereby are made one flesh should likewise be one in the bond of love Discords and divisions are the cankers of a mitie Ionah 4.7 and like unto the worme in the gourd of Ionas bring confusion where they are nourished Saint Iohn determine's that God is love 1 Io 4.8 wheresoëver therfore wee find not love wee may justly conclude there is not God Yet many times doe I heare the clamours of prople for many men and their wives are more subject to complaine then to conceale the frowardnesse of their violent passions But am not I one of those whose indisposition to obedience or want of discretion sieketh to violate the lawes of mariage All such divisions are both irreligious and sieke to destroy the very rules of nature By mariage two are united into one but by discords one is divided into two Where wedlock tyeth not two in one there is noe obedience to him who is three in one If therfore I enioy not that happie concord I must search into the cause which produceth such discord Assuredly that wedlock which at first was instituted by the All mighty and seconded by the blessing of increase and multiplying Genâ— 1.28 cannot be accompanied with schismes and contentions without a greate offence to him that ordained it Chrest my Reedemer did honour it with his presence and to shew how much hee delighted in this sacred union hee began his miracles at a wedding in Galilee Io 2.1 vers 7.8 But if mariage be so ancient as to fetch its beginning from man in innocency if it be so religious as to be honoured thus by my Lord and Saviour why then is it so peremptorily concluded by the Apostle that It is good for a man not to touch a woman 1 Cor 7.1 Are women so odious in the eyes of Saint Paul that hee should account it not good for a man to touch his helper his rib himselfe What should the Apostle meane in this position when as God himselfe determined Gen 2.18 and said It is not good that the man should be alone Can the scripture conteine a manifest contradiction or doeth St. Paul decree directly against God Noe noe let mee search more narrowly into those sacred texts and I shall find that my God doeth speake of that good which concerneth propagation without which the whole race of humanitie would soone be extinct but by his Apostle hee speaketh of a good which opposeth not honestie but which is joyned with profit hee decree's not that t is sinfull but onely inconvenient Moreover hee speakes not of all in generall but onely of those who are endued from above with the guift of continencie afterwards therfore hee thus concludeth 1 Cor 7.28 saying But if thou marry thou hast not sinned and if a virgin marry shee hath not sinned neverthelesse such shall have trouble in the flesh Thus may mariage indeede be troublesome but it is not dishonest it may be inconvenient but it is not unlawfull In it selfe considered it hath authoritie from God yet upon some considerations or private respects to some indeede it may prove unlawfull Whatsoëver is concluded without the free consent of both the parties is not regulated according unto law Neither feares nor menates nor delusions nor compulsions noe nor want of yeeres or judgment can be legally present at the tying of this knott The consent must be mutuall and proceede from a sound a free and un-corrupted judgment When the servant of Abraham treated of a mariage betweene Isaak and Rebeckah her brother and her mother concluded not hastily but said Wee will call the damsell and enquire at her mouth Gen 24.57 vers 58 And they called Rebeckah and said unto her Wilt thou goe with this man And shee said I will goe Thus must a mutuall and free consent without the disturbance of the reason by either excesse of wine or dâ—stracted thoughts or feares and terrours or cozening and delusive promises be present at the making of this holy contract The consent indeede must be free without compulsion but not without advice and direction The will of a child especially in this must submitt to the wisedome and the counsell of parents for seeing that children are reckoned among the goods and possessions of parents even reason decreeth that their Lords should dispose of them When Abraham dispatched his servant to sieke a wife for Isaak hee made him sweare by the Lord Gen. 24.3 the God of heaven and the God of earth that hee would not take a wife unto his sonne of the daughters of the Caaannites c. 28.1 When Isaak called Iacob and blessed him hee charged him and said unto him Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan Thus the law of the parents was a rule for the children and they durst not marie where they were forbidden In a letter which the Prophet sent unto the people whom Nebuchad-nezzar had caried captive to Babylon Ier. 29.6 hee not onely wrote unto them saying Take yee wives and begett sonnes and daughters but hee allso ordered them to take wives for their sonnes and to give their daughters to husbands Thus must children especially in the serious weighty affaire of mariage obey their parents in the Lord Eph.
must be subject in every thing Tit. 2.4 Eph. 5.24 1 Cor 7.34 Eph. 5.33 1 Pet. 3.6 1 Cor. 14.35 c. 7.10 Tit. 2.5 Col. 3.18 1 Pet. 3.1 I must care how to please him I must reverence him I must obey him as Sara obeyed Abraham calling him Lord I must be instructed by him I must not depart from him but must be discreete chast a keeper at home good obedient unto him that the word of God be not blasphemed To hin indeede I must submitt my selfe as unto the Lord but this submission must not be servile for it must be onely so as it is fitt in the Lord. Him I must love for hee is my selfe To him I must be subject as the inferiour parts are unto the head I must care how to please him both for the performance of my duety and for the quietnesse and content which will ensue upon it I must reverence him for hee is my superiour I must obey him for hee is my Lord I must be instructed by him for hee is my teacher I must not depart from him 1 Cor. 7.4 because the power which formerly I had over my selfe is resigned up to his will and pleasure I must be discreete because I am a wife chast because I must be a loyall wife a keeper at home because a house-wife good and obedient that the word of God be not blasphemed Submission is required joyned with love to avoyd anger and contention Prov. 21.19 for Solomon hath decreed that It it better to dwell in the wildernesse then with a contentious and an angrie woman Subjection and reverenceare arguments of a meeke 1 Pet 3.4 Prov. 9.13 and quiet spirit which in the sight of God is of great price for a clamorous woman is styled foolish Obedience is due to those that are our instructers seeing therfore our sexe is guiltie of ignorance 1 Tim. 2.11 wee are commanded to learne in silence with all subjection for if wee are wise in our owne conceits Prov. 26.12 the wise man saith there is more hope of a foole then of such Discretion is allso required in our sexe for long agoe did Solomon say c. 11.22 As a jewell of gold in a swine's snowt so is a faire woman which is without discretion Certainly those who submitt to their husbands who love them are subject to them carefull to please them reverence them obey them are willing to be instructed by them depart not from them and are truely discreete conscience will preserve them chast civilitie will keepe them at home and religion will make them good Ps 119.5 O that our wayes were made so direct that wee might keepe these statutes When I consider of this bond which unite's mee to my husband how can I choose but blesse my God for his ordinance When I looke upon the pledges of our mutuall love those children which God doeth send for our comfort how can I choose but magnifie his blessing Though many are the infirmities of a woman many dueties belong to a wife many cares and pangs belong to a mother yet our infirmities are aften redressed by mariage our dueties are our delight being guided and comforted by our carefull Lords and our cares and pangs are richly rewarded in our obedient children O how gracious is our God unto us who governeth us by those who are made our selves and to increase our love and obedience to our husbands giveth us the lively resemblance of both in our tender off-spring These children whom I would have obedient unto mee doe put mee in mind of that obedience which I owe to my husband and much more of that which all of us owe to our bountifull God That sacred tye of holy wedlock putteth mee in mind of the infinite love of Christ to his church Hee hath blessed mee with the first and shall I not labour to be a worthy and a thankfull partaker of his love in the last The first I enjoy though I deserve it not the last I am offered yet zealously and religiously enough I embrace it not If I neglect my love and duety to my husband I cannot expect the love of Christ Alasse by sexe I am fraile and not willing to obey by paines I am froward and not fitt for advice by sinne I am haughtie and not apt for submission Nature enclineth us to love but unlesse that love be regulated by religion it often either is sullied with impuritie or clegenerateth into hatred O what shall I provide to answer my God when hee shall stricktly examine mee concerning my duety first to himselfe next to him whom hee hath made my Lord and lastly to them who are my tender and parcelled selfe Certainly obedient enough I cannot be to God dutifull enough I can scarcely be to my husband loving and carefull enough I can hardly be of my children All of us faile in some thing or other and I feare that I am the weakest of all Every sinne displeaseth my God o what shall I doe to appease his wrath Wherewithall shall I come before the Lord Mic. 6.6 and bow myselfe before the high God Shall I come before him with Burnt offerings with calves of a yeere old vers 7. Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rammes or with ten thousand rivers of oyle Shall I give my first-borne for my transgressions Ps 51.16 vers 17 the fruite of my body for the sinne of my soule Alasse hee desireth not sacrifice hee delighteth not in burnt offering The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit a broken and a contrite heart hee will not despise To my Lord therfore will I hasten whom I have offended to my God will I addresse my selfe whom I have displeased by my manifold neglects and insteede of rivers of oyle I will swimme unto him in rivers of my teares My heart I will teach to groane so lowde that it shall be heard to heaven Each teare which I shed shall proceede from a heart so humbly sorrowfull that they shall seeme to have the faces of Angells in reflexion and I will pray that those teares may be accepted by the Angel of the covenant Mal 3.1 If through my indiscretion contentions have arisen betweene my head and the members I will meekely justifie the words of the King Solomon and not onely resemble but have even the same to which hee compareth mee Pro 27.15 I will have a continuall dropping in a very rainie day Mine eyes shall droppe and my heart shall droppe and from them both shall issue as it were water and blood that with my teares I may wash the sacrifice of my God and my heart may be made an accepted offering Mat 7.25 Yet shall not the raine descend onely and the floods come but the winds allso shall blow From mine eyes shall the raine descend and the floods of my teares shall come and then from my heart the winds shall blow From my heart I will
must some-times rest What though I am an exul a stranger a sojourner here as all my fathers were I must have a lodging I must have a chamber I must have a roome and in that roome and in that chamber I may I must have some rest Yea and I must have some delight in it too and that not onâ—e alone but continually for so I am commanded by the Apostle Phil 4.4 who saith Rejoyce in the Lord allways and againe I say rejoyce Diverse indeede for diverse causes have wept but they have not allways wept Gen 27.38 Esau lifted up his voyce and wept but it was for the losse of his father's blessing The Elders of Ephesus wept Act 20 38. 2. Chr 35 25. yea they all wept sore but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them that they should see his face noe more A mourning I reade of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo when Ieremiah lamented and all the singing men and the singing women spake of their King in their lamentations and made them an ordinance in Israel That was for Iosiah who was slaine by the armie of Pharaoh Necho in the valley of Megiddo In Ramah was a voyce heard Ier 31.15 lamentation and bitter weeping Rachel weeping for her children because they were not This mee thinks come's home close neere to mee This was for the captivitie of Iudah and Benjamin or it was for the infants slaine by that bloody that presecuting Herod Here are children lamented so farre the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine But neither is my child slaine by a murderer nor yet is hee lead into captivity Noe Eph 4.8 hee who did leade captivitie captive hath freed my sonne from the fetters Rom 8 21. from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of â—he sonnes of God My child was not slaine as were all the children that were in Bethlehem and in all the coasts thereof Mat 2.16 from two yeares ould and under Noe Hee who was slaine for him hath saved him Hee who hath swallowed up death in victory Is 25.8 Hos 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave and redeemed him from death Lord though I am a weake though a sinfull woman make mee for ever to praise thee for this thy goodnesse Ps 107 8. and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for mee and mine When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well my bountifull Iesus freely gave her to drike of the living water Io 4.14 which became in her a well of water springing up into ever-lasting life I am such a woman as shee was mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well and though the well be deepe even deepe as my heart yet some-thing I have had to draw the water with My child mine infant hath drawne and drawne untill I am even allmost drawne drie And in this agonie and in this distresse my Christ hath come to cleanse my well to sanctifie my teares and to ease mee of my griefe 1. King 3.26 My bowells indeede did yearne upon my child as that woman 's did whose issue should have beene divided for the satisfaction of the harlot My child is divided though hers were spared The better part of him the soule is gone it is gone to God for his it is it is his owne share nothing but the earth of him remaineth with mee But I will I must be thankfull and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead Ier 22.10 and bemoaning of them Let mee begge for patience for submission for content and say The Prayer BLessed Lord God Ps 68.20 unto whom belong the issues from death vouchsafe to heare the cry of thy mourning hand-mayd Thou wert pleased once to blesse mee with increase and to make mee a joyfull mother of my now dead infant But oh that that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee is now come unto thee The first that sinned was a woman tempted by the Serpent Gen. 3.13 and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deepe that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my wombe for the sinnes of my selfe Yet Lord looke downe in mercy upon mee though a sinfull woman though the most unworthy of my sexe Mat. 15.28 even farre inferiour to that woman of Canaan for herfaith was greate but I alas have noe faith at all or but a weake one or but a dead one otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would controul my passion and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my teares Thou ô Lord hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh yet I goe heavily for it as if it were lost in my despaire Thou hast crowned it with immortalitie and yet my passion declareth that I mourne as if it were lost Ps 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee Thou seest how my teares doe flow through mine infirmitie thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content I confesse it I am sorrowfull for it I am ashamed of it Act. 7.60 Lord lay not this sinne to my charge Thou hast taken nothing but thine owne O be pleased so to make mee thine owne by grace and then shall I be assured in thine owne due time to be receaved into glory Allay the heate of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit Graunt that my teares may be kept for my sinnes my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences My heart is heavy for the losse of my child ô Lord lighten it ô Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace Ps 94.19 In the multitude of sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô Lord refresh my soule My child thou knowest was deare unto mee because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto mee Hee was and hee is deere unto thee and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him fron the evill 1. Thes 1.10 2. Tim 2.11 from the wrath to come Hee is deal in Christ Lord let mee be dead with Christ that I may allso live with Christ My child is dead because hee was sinfull but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ O thou who art rich in mercy Eph 2.4 for the greate love wherewith thou hast loved man-kind graunt that I may not dye in sinne but to it that so I may be quickened together with thy Sonne Make mee to yeeld my selfe unto thee Rom 6 13. as those that are alive from the dead and my members as instruments of righteousnesse unto thee my God Forgive my excesse of love to him that is gone my excesse of teares and sighs that have beene caused by his departure my want of patience and submission to thy holy pleasure and
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
1. King 14.18 Had not my husband beene King yet how should I forbeare the expence of a teare when death depriveth mee of the name of a wife Had hee not beene godly then the words of the Psalmist might peradventure have beene verified even of him Ps 27.15 His widow shall not weepe But ô hee was full of love and hee was truely religious for mine owne losse therfore must I freely weepe because my loving my religious husband is taken from mee Naomi requited the love of her daughters in law expressed to their dead husbands with a fervent prayer saying Ruth 1.8 The Lord deale kindly with you as yee have dealt with the dead and with mee vers 9. The Lord graunt that yee may find rest each of you in the house of her husband When the wife of Ezekiel was taken from him I doubt not but hee loved her so well that hee would have bemoaned her departure had not the Lord expressely charged him the contrarie Eze 24 16. But the Lord said unto him Sonne of man behold I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroake yet neither shalt thou mourne nor weepe neither shall thy teares runne downe Forbeare to cry vers 17 make noe mourning for the dead bind the tire of thine head upon thee and put on thy shooes upon thy feete and cover not thy lipps Surely his teares were not forbidden as if it were un-lawfull to lament the dead Noe it was onely because the Lord by that figne would shew that the calamitie of the Iewes should be beyond that sorrow which enforceth a weeping But what was Ezekiel's losse in comparison of mine Hee was a man and a Prophet set over his wife to be her instructer so was mine set over mee allso but there the scholler onely departed the wife here the very Oracle is ceased my husband is gone While hee was alive my knowledg was increased for if I would have learned any thing 1. Cor 14.15 1. Pet 3 7. I could aske him at home Hee dwelt with mee according to knowledg giving honour unto mee as to the weaker vessell and as being heires together of the grace of life Eph. 5.28 1. Tim. 5.8 so that our prayers were not hindered Hee loved mee even as his owne body hee provided both for mee and mine But now alas I may live in ignorance dis-respected and un provided for none will comfort mee none will helpe mee as did my husband that 's gone Act. 5.4 Though wicked Saphira had joyned with Ananias her husband in lying unto God concerning the sale of their possession vers 5. and her husband at the words of Saint Peter fell downe and gave up the ghost and was caried out by the young men vers 6. and buried yet shee lived not long enough either to bewayle his death or to consider of her losse Shee continued a widow but about three howers space vers 7. vers 10 and then fell downe at the Apostles feete and yeelded up the ghost Shee quickly followed her husband in death who joyned in the wickednesse with him in his life Shee hastened to the grave of her departed consort as if love had forbad her to survive her husband Yet it was not love but justice which made them lye together in the silent grave since they joyned together in a lye in their lives This alas was not a testimonie of her love so quickly to follow her husband to the land of darknesse Mee think's that I could be well contented to have dyed with my husband and to be layed in the grave by his frozen body but neither would I have sinne to be the cause nor judgment the effect Why then doe I so much lament his departure whose death was full of an assurance of life and whose hope was full of immortalitie Had Saphira survived her deceased husband but so long as to have beene sensible of the manner of his death it may be imagined that shee would have sighed her selfe to the grave and even griefe alone would have joyned them in the vault of darknesse and silence But God delayed not the punishment of her who obstinately persisted in the crime of her husband Here is yet some comfort for mee in my deepe calamitie that neither my husband was guilty of the sinne of Ananias nor yet did his death come so unexpected Why then should I grieve so much for the departure of him who is gone from hence to eternall rest Hee dyed in the Lord Reu 14 13. and I cannot therfore doubt but hee is assuredly blessed Hee resteth from his labours and his workes doe follow him Why then doe I shed such an aboundance of teares as if I either distrusted his happinesse or envyed his felicity My cause is not so greate if I rightly weigh it as to cause these floods to arise in mine eyes When I thinke upon him I have reason to rejoyce both because hee is freed as well from the tyrannie of sinne as from the miserie it produceth and allso because hee is at rest in my God If I consider my selfe allso mine affliction is not so greate nor my teares so just as I doe imagine for they will prove rather an argument of my distrust in God then of my love to my husband if I give them the freedome to flow beyond moderation Hee who lent mee him can send mee another yea such a one as may deserve as well and to whom my love may be as fervent If I have lost mine estate yet I have not lost my protectour unlesse I forsake him in my distrust If I complaine for want of the joy of societie even my very thoughts so they be religions will delight mee with their companie If I want an instructer my God will be my guide If I want a comforter my God will wipe these teares from mine eyes If I want either foode or sustenance for my body Prov 15.15 yet a good conscience will prove a continuall feast My losse is not so greate as ever was sustained if I compare it with those which others have soffered Naömie's affliction was greater then mine Ruth 1 3. when not onely her husband Elimelech but allso her two sonnes Mahlon and Chilion dyed and the woman was left of her two sonnes her husband at once 1. Sam. 4.11 It was worse by farre with the wife of Phinehar then it is with mee for her husband and his brother were both slaine in one day by the Amalekites yea and that in judgment too c 3.13 even because they made themselves vile and their father restrained them not When the newes came to her that the Arke of God was taken by the un-circumcised c 4.13 that ould Eli her father in law hearing the newes that the Arke was taken and that his sonnes were slaine vers 18 fell from the seate back-ward by the side of the gate and brake his neck and
to submit with cheerefullnesse to this thy chastisement and to repent mee of my sinnes which brought this affliction Were it not just for mee to make my complaint in the bitternesse of my sorrowes thou wouldest not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sack-cloth for the husband of her youth Thou Lam 1.8 ô Lord doest behould my sorrow and the griefe of my heart because thou hast taken from mee the desire of mine eyes Eze 24 16. and the joy of my heart Be pleased ô my God so to open the eyes of my soule and understanding that I may see as cleerely the cause of thy stroake as I am sensible of the losse of him that was my guide Though hee was sent to be the head of my body yet thou ô God didst offer thy selfe to be the husband of my soule but to my shame I must confesse that I followed the stepps of Samaria Eze 16 45. of Sodome and of Ierusalem and loathed thee my Lord and my husband justly therfore mightest thou say of mee as thou once didst speake of the church of the Iewes Hos 2.2 Shee is not my wife neither am I her husband But ô thou father of mercies for give my back-slidings and adde not affliction to affliction lest I faint under thy rod. Is 47.9 Spirituall widow-hood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon ô let it not fall upon mee Allthough thou hast taken him that was my husband yet be pleased to betroth mee to thy selfe for ever Hos 2.19 Say unto mee Ruchama thou hast obtained mercy vers 16 vers 19 and let mee answer thee Baali and Ishi my Lord and my husband Betroath mee unto thee in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving-kindnesse vers 20 and in mercyes and in faithfullnesse and make mee know thee to be my Lord. 2. Cor 11.2 Send a Paul to espouse mee to one husband that so I may be presented as a chast virgin unto Christ. Give mee grace to doe as once thou commandedst the widowes of Edom Ier 49.11 1. Tim 5.5 even to trust in thee Though now I am desolate yet make mee for ever to trust in thee my God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day Thus let my sorrow be sanctified and my trust and confidence reposed in thee that so I may serve thee with cheerefullnesse endure thy visitation with patience and in the end that I may goe to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband and where my Saviour is certainly gone before even to the Kingdome of happinesse and that through the merits and intercession of the same Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT A woman's teares at the funer all of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Sarah dyed in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife Gen 23 3. and spake unto the sonnes of Heth vers 4. saying I am a stranger and a sojourner with you give mee a possession and a burying place with you that I may bury my dead out of my fight Though hee so tenderly affected her whilest shee was living yet hee would not looke to long on her when shee was dead It is a duety as full of humanitie to interre with decency the bodies of the dead as it is of religion to love the persone when they are alive Yet vaine is man in this affection if hee fixeth his love onely on the beautie of the body This flesh which is so tender this skinne which I strive to preserve both smooth and white must one day be a banquet for the loathed wormes Noe greater priviledg belongeth to mee then did to my hushand for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth Had I loved onely his outward forme my love should now either quite be forgotten or else I should fondly defire to deny it interment but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soule which drew mine affection and commanded my desires Had that soule and body continued their societie I had beene freed from my laments but they have bid fare-well 'till the generall resurrection and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints I weepe for my losse because wee are divorced but ô what conflicts then can I imagine that hee had wheÌ„ hee was not onely to part from his indeared wife but likewise his soule was to leave this chillowed â—earth Oh for him for him for my losse of him doe I pay the tribute of these watering eyes Yet these teares must not flow in too greate aboundance lest by them I should seeme to envy his happinesse Even when his body shall be layed to sleepe in the grave if I mourne too much it will be justly suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband His soule which was his best is now in perfection and may not be lamented his body which is the worse and grosser part of him is now to be committed to the earth whence it came Thither it must goe to that place I must commend it otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing and that which I esteemed when it was alive I shall be forced to abhorre if I keepe it from the grave O it grieveth mee each minuit that I thinke of my deerest it troubleth and perplexeth mee with disturbed thoughts when I consider how servently I loved him yet cannot enliven him But these are onely the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie and tell mee that I loved him more then I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I doe If my love to God be so greate as I pretend I shall thankfully acknowledg his love to the departed O let it never be said that my love was idolatrie in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts when I should rather prepare for the buriall of the dead Have I taken a course for the place of his rest where his cold body may be layed to sleepe This is a duety which every age hath beene carefull to performe It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's furie against Vryah the Prophet Ier. 26.23 that hee cast his dead body into the graves of the common people then that hee slew him with the sword It hath allso beene a testimonie of God's revenge when hee suffered not the dead to have a decent interment Eccl 6.3 If a man beget an hundred children saith the Preacher and live many yeeres so that the dayes of his yeeres be many and his soule be not filled with good and allso that hee have noe buriall I say that an untimely birth is better then hee VVhen the
mind Though I have lost my husband yet still I have my God Hee is and will be mine so long as I remaine and continue his What though I misse my head my deceased Lord my dead husband in every place What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table and therfore I sigh What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life and therfore I grieve What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life and therfore mourne I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter but if I grieve too much I shall but discover that there was folly in my love and that there is dispaire in my teares Hee was not mine but God's and with him hee liveth It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth that I may hope assuredly that hee 's a saint in heaven and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him Hee who lent mee him can furnish mee with another or else give mee content with this single life Hee was not my choyce but God's If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs and I will be thankfull to my God because hee once did lend mee so good a directour I will by his blessing live a widow with content and quietnesse untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world If I marrie noe more the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man even my religion it selfe without the mercy of my God might receave some prejudice But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide and direct mee Thus that I may live in the love of my God and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings Ier. 31.32 and be a husband unto mee as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer BLessed God thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband Is 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow Thou knowest how irksome and full of forrowes this solitarie life is thou viewest my sad and dis-consolate condition O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart thy comforts ô Lord Ps 94.19 may refresh my soule It is thy promise that Prov. 15.25 though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow Iob. 24.21 yea though they stay the widow and murder the fatherlesse Ps 94.6 Ps 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse and defend the cause of the widow even thou ô God who dwellest in thine holy habitations Iob. 22.9 O send not then a poore and distressed widow away emptie but be pleased to be my Gâ—… my guide and my counsellour Make mee 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my wayes to rely upon thee iâ— all my sorrowes to sue unto thee in all mâ— wants Eph. 4.24 Ps 89.22 and firmely to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousnesse and true holinesse Let not thâ— oppressour exact upon mee nor the Sonne 〈◊〉 wickednesse doe mee harme but doe thoâ— allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings Be thou my directour in all my wayes that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood or be ordered by thee to change my condition and be joyned againe in holy wedlock I may sue for thy counsell and be seconded with thy blessing But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented Lu. 2.37 and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse not departing from thy temple but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes causing my heart to sing for joy Iob. 29.13 that so though mine afflictions are many and my desolate condition be full of perturbations and anxious thoughts yet I may so cleave unto thee that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents Could nature become so silent in children that they should forget the honour due to progeâ—itours Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers that did beget him Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression but ay mee the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duety is snatched from mee Oâ— hee that begat mee is dead hee that tooke caâ— to breede mee hee that supplyed my wants bâ— that instructed mee in religion hee that defenâ—… mee from injuries hee whose labour indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child Prov. 4 3. I was oh I may say I was my father's child tender and onely beloved of my mother But now where ô where is that man of affection Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee who so deerely affectâ— mee Sick hee was dead hee is But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service Gen 48 1. obedience Did I visit him in his sicknesse as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying Behold thy father iâ— sick hee
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
â—ever leave it 'till I have chased it away 'till 〈◊〉 have done my best to wash off the staine with my sorrowfull teares Gen 32 25. I will struggle with my God for the help of his grace and will not leave him untill hee assureth mee that my sinne is blotted out by the blood of the Lamb. For every offence that I can remember I will arise and goe to my father Lu. 15.18 with the teares standing in mine eyes and with dropps of blood falling from my heart in an earnest sharpe compunction In a loathing and detestation of my selfe for offending his Majestie I will humble my selfe and fall at his feete and with bashfullnesse and shame I will besiech him saying vers 18 vers 19 Father I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants I know hee will heare mee for so hee hath promised and sayd Call upon mee in the day of trouble Ps 50.15 I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie mee And when hee heareth I am sure hee will helpe too Ps 46.1 for hee is my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble And leave him I will not leave crying I will not leave weeping and begging I will not untill I find that heâ— espyeth mee comeing Lu 15.20 O now I blesse him I find that hee cometh to mee and armeth mee with this resolution I find that I am comeing unto him too by the small sparkes of graâ—… which warme my resolution But here I must not stay on I must follow him I will and never leave him untill hee takes compassion of mee and runne's and fall's upon my neck and kisseth mee vers 22 I will not leave following him untill hee bringeth forth the best robe even the robe of his Sonne 's righteousnesse putteth it upon mee I must have a ring too put upon my hand Rom 4 11. Lu 15. vers 23 a sealed ring even the seale of the righteousnesse of faith in the meritts of my Redeemer I must allso feede upon the fatted Calfe upon him who was sacrificed for my transgressions even the Sonne of his bosome who is fatt as it were and full of all divine vertues and abundance of grace able to satisfie for the sinns of the whole world I will feede upon him in the participation of the holy sacrament and communion of his owne most blessed body and blood vers 24 And when I eate I will be merry for through faith I shall have an assurance that hereafter I shall be entertained at the supper of the Lamb in the Kingdome of my God Reu 19 9. Thus my ômissions and thus my commissions thus mine infirmities and thus my presumptions shall be layed to his charge who is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sinnes of the world Io 1.29 Unto him I will acknowledg my sinnes Ps 32.5 and mine iniquities I will not hide I will confesse my transgressions unto the Lord and hee shall forgive the iniquitie of my sinnes when I say unto him with a sorrowfull Spirit Ps 41.4 Lord be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee When I have thus confessed Iob. 42 6. and abhorred my selfe in dust and asbes I will then resolve for the time to come by the grace of my God and I will promise that I will take heede to my wayes that I sinne not against him Ps 39.1 or not willingly or not continually or howsoever not impenitently Thus will I sweepe and sweeping I will weepe and weeping I will pray that for every uncleane spirit which hath dwelt in my soule I may now have this soule garnished with the divine and excellent graces of the Spirit of my God By faith I will come unto thee ô Christ and call thee my Iesus By hope I will come unto you ô yee blessed quire of Saints and Angells and with you I will sing those ravishing Halelujahs By charitie I will reconcile my selfe to my offended brother I will as much as in mee lyeth requite and satisfie my injured neighbour I will freely freely remit the injuries I have receaved certainly assuring my selfe that the offences which have beene offered mee though never so high in mine owne esteeme are not bad enough to be compared to the least trespasse which I have committed against my God And as I am taught by the rules of charitie I will not onely love my friends to which I am prompted both by nature and civility but mine enemies likewise I will love as I am commanded by God Yet lest I missetake in my charitie my God a bove all I will both love and obey and that for noe other cause but onely for himselfe Next and in order unto him I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love the Lord for his power I will love God for his wisedome and I will love the Lord my God for his goodnesse I will love the Lord who created mee by his power I will love God who instructeth mee by his wisedome I will love the Lord my God who hath communicated his goodnesse to a creature so despicable I will not onely know my God but I will allso love him I will not onely feare him but I will allso love him I will not onely feare him as hee is an omnipotent Lord or honour him as hee is God but I will allso love him as hee is Mine Yea I will love him with all my heart because hee gave mee a Beeing at my creation I will love him with all my soule because hee preserveth mee in this my beeing I will love him with all my mind because hee hath created mee a new and given mee a well-being by regeneration and I will love him with all my strength because I know assuredly that hee will glorifie mee in the most excellent Beeing I will lore him with all my heart understandingly without errour I will love him with all my soule willingly without contradiction and I will love him with all my mind treasuring him up in my memorie without forgetfulnesse I will love him with all my heart wisely lest I be seduced by the suggestions of the devill I will love him with all my soule sweetely and delightfully lest I be tempted by allurements of the flesh and I will love him with all my strength couragiously lest I sinke under the pressures and heavy burdens of the world I will love him with all my heart for all my cogitations shall reflect upon him I will love him with all my soule for all my affections shall be directed to him and I will love him with all my mind for all my senses shall be obedient unto him I will love him with all my heart devoutly with all my soule discreetely and with all my Mind perseveringly And when thus I have endeavoured to love my God ' then next in