Selected quad for the lemma: love_n
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A03192
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A curtaine lecture as it is read by a countrey farmers wife to her good man. By a countrey gentlewoman or lady to her esquire or knight. By a souldiers wife to her captain or lievtenant. By a citizens or tradesmans wife to her husband. By a court lady to her lord. Concluding with an imitable lecture read by a queene to her soveraigne lord and king.
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Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641.
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1637
(1637)
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STC 13312; ESTC S104055
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48,969
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275
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unto many sucessions Paulus Aemilius tells us that Manesteus the Athenian and sonne to Iphicrates that famous Captaine took unto his bed a maid of a forraine Countrey but so low degreed that the historie affords her not so much as a name who though she was poore in estate yet was she rich and aboundantly qualified both in the riches of the body and the mind The son being demanded which of his two parents he affected most his father or his mother he made answer that in his fiâ—iall duty and affection he gave the precedence unto his mother But he that proposed the question knowing the difference in their birthâ— and breeding demanding the reason thereof he gave him this satisfaction True it is saith he that m◠〈◊〉 her hâ—th made me an Ally and Countriman of Thrace but my mother hath made me an Athenian and the son of a noble Captaine Bersane was the daughter of one Arbassus a private souldier in the Camp of Alexander who as Quint. Curtius and Aul. Gelliâ—â— affiâ—me was of sweet grace and amiable aspect that like the Sunne appearing out of a cloud so out of the darknesse of her neglected fortune there shone such a majesticall lustre that he who was then the worlds sole Monarch preferred her before the wife aâ—d beautifull daughters of Darius whom he had late vanquished in so much that it is related of him by the forenamed Authors that after his first familiaritie with her he was never knowne to cast an incontinent looke upon any other nor to have congresse with any third onely his wife Roxana and this Bersane whom he commended to his Queene and made her his â—ole companion It is likewise reported of the famous Rhodope that she was at the first but servant to Iadmonsamius the Philosopher yet by her amiable feature and dexterous carriage she afterwards was advanced to such honour as to be wife unto Psammeticus King of Egypt Lardana from whom the renowned family of the Heraclidae boast their descent was a Damosell of a very low and meane parentage and indeed no better than an hand-maid and servant yet by her rare and unmatchable vertue she after raised her fortunes to the eminence to be a fruitfull seminarie of many noble and renowned Gentlemen for so Herodotus witnâ—sseth of her in his Eutarpe Pysostrates as Phelarchus historifies matcht himselfe with a Virgin of rare beauty but her birth so obscure and ignoble that the storiâ— affordeth it no name yet after she by her wisdome and counsell advâ—nced him from being a Gentleman of private condition to a Monarchall government Of her Clademus in his bookâ— intituled Reddâ—tionum reports that she was for staâ—e a Iuno for wisedome a Pallas for beauty a Venus and worthy to be stiled the daughter of Sacrates It is moreover said of her thaâ— she dealt Scepters and disposed Crowns at her pleasure so great was her power in the place in which she governed I will end with Asputia the daughter of one Hermotinus a man of low condition as Aelianus the approved Histoâ—iographer in his book De varia Historia relates who being snatcht from the armes of her father by a Persian souldier was for the excellency of her feature and beauty by him presented to King Cyrus the son of Darius and Parasatides Her vertuous education unmatchable beauty singular modestie and approved wisedome were the immediate steps to purchase her such favour with the Persian Monarch that he not only made her his Empresse but so tenderly affâ—cted her that notwithstanding his choice of wives and multiplicity of concubines from the first houre that she grew into his knowledge and acquaintance he never embrac'd the company of any other woman And after the death of Cyrus whose funeralls she bewailed with unspeakable sorrow being afterward as highly favoured by Artaxerxes who succeeded him in the Empire who desired to make her a partner in his bed and Throne yet was it with long suit from him and great unwiâ—lingnesse in her before she could be won to participate in either of them And these out of infinite I have collected onely to shew unto you that Virgins howsoever obscurely descended who from their Ancestours could neither boast of wealth or Gentrie yet by their vertues beauty and generous behaviour have not only attained unto matches of most especiall remarke but some also to dignities imperiall Famous unto all ages even to the perpetuitie of memory shall be that great Arch-champion of virginitie Virginius that brave Roman knight whose name was given him in his childhood as a good omen presaging what a defender of chastity he would after prove who because his sole and only daughter Virginiâ— should not fall into thâ— hands of Appius Claudius one of the Decemviri to bâ— vitiated and dishonoured when he perceived by thâ— corruptnesse of the Judge and the perfidiousnesse 〈◊〉 the false evidence that 〈◊〉 was ready to fall and suffeâ— under his cruell mercy 〈◊〉 the open face of the 〈◊〉 at the barre at which her cause was then pleaded â—e â—lew her with his owne hands so vindicate her innoâ—ence desirous rather as Valerius reports of him of â—n innocuous child to be the deaths-man than the father of a defiled daughter of whom Silius Italicus l. 13. Bel. Punico thus speakes Virginia juxta Cerne cruentato vulnus sub pectore servat Behold before thee where Virginia's plac't Her white breast with a griefly wound defac't The bloudie knife doth witnesse the sad stroke Which freed her body from lusts servile yoke Whose modest innocence so farre extends Her fathers act she in her death commends CHAP. IV. Of election or choice before marriage The conveniences and inconveniences belonging unto marriage disputed and compareâ— with the honour and dignity thereof BEfore I come to wedlocke it selfe it is very pertinent that I speak something of choice before marriage Saith one Liber esse non potest cui affectus imperant cupiditates domiâ—nantur he cannot be truely said to have a free choice and election in whom his affections rule and his appetites governe The Queene Artemisia being asked by one of her Nobility what choice should be used in love replied All persons ought to imitate the skilfull Lapidaries who measure not the nature of the gem by the outward hew but the inward vertue We have an old Adage frequent amongst us which for the most part proveth true that choice is soonest deceived in three things namely in Brokers wares Courtiers promises and Womens constancies therefore it is good for all men to looke before they leap for it is generally found Qui non ante cavet iste Passus erit quod sit triste That man deserves of â—orrow double share Who once forwarn'd will after not beware In choosing a wife looke not upon the feature of the body but search into the fancies of her mind and take her not for her outward person but her inward perfection For if thou makest election of beauty it fadeth
that the temperature of weather succeedeth tempests that wealth commeth not by wishing but watching neither can rest in age be procured where labour and industry in youth is not practised Warres take away the limbs and lives of many yet doth not that terrifie others from the attaining unto honour by armes and â—o of the rest Good things are not to be forborne for the feare of evills that may ensue rather the worst things are to be endured that the better may bee encouraged Were it not then absurd that Husbandmen Navigators and Souldiers shall not foâ—beare to use all diligence and exercise in their severall qualities as no way deterr'd by the detriments belonging unto them and shall any man forbeare maâ—riage for the multiplicitie of cares and crosses which some through their vaine and idle feares would asperse upon it Shall a Virgin feare to marrie onely with this evasion Say I should be a widow or having children borne O what a griefe it would be to me to see them buried Let her know that in this case death is to be blamed not matrimonie and she may as well accuse nature for making us men and not Gods If either husband or children die it is because they were borne and their bodies created mortall and not immortall It may be therefore thus further argued that marriage supplies such deficiencie in nature for by a second nuptiall the wife loseth the name of widow and redeemeth not only the late lost name of husband but to her children the forfeited name of father by which marriage maketh amends in what nature seemed to doe amisse and is rather a restauration than a deprivation to Orphancie and Widow-hood If you shall summe up the cares and troubles that depend upon wedlocke set but against them the profits and the pleasures and they shall farre surmount them both in nature and number What greater content to a man than after the laborious travells of the day to repose at night in the bosome of a sweet and loving bed-fellow What more delightfull hope than the exectation of an happy issue The throwes of the mother are forgot in the birth of the child and the pleasures of the latter farre surmount the paines of the former the peevishnesse of the childs infancie is quite forgot when he begins to prattle What comfort their toward youth breeds and what consolation their more staid yeeres beget I leave to their consideration who have beene the fruitfull parents of a fortunate progenie If then by lawfull marriage soules are here inspired upon earth to become glorious Saints in heaven and parents in their issue and succession imitate the Creator himselfe by giving life to others that they by an alternate course as they receive breath from their fathers may also returne it to their own children and so till the last dissolution if it change the common titles of man and woman to the honoured names of father and mother if it beget temperance providence and the rest and make these carnall pleasures which are otherwise interdicted and forbidden honest and legitimate if the certaine comforts so farre surmount all casuall corsives as it is so graciously honoured why should it not be genâ—rally embraced And though Saint Ambrose saith Nuptiae terras implent virginitas Paradiâ—um marriage peoples the earth but virginity Paradise yet Saint Austine preferres humble marriage before proud virginity I conclude this Chapter with that of Claudian in Europa Nascitur ad fructum mulier prolemque futuram A woman was made fruitfull in her birth Still to continue mankind upon earth CHAP. V. How parents ought to dispose of their daughters The miseries of enforced contracts The maner of marriage amongst the Romans the Muscovites the ancient Britans the Gaules the Germans c. PLato in his booke De Legib. tells us that mankind is by marriage made immortall and lasteth for ever for by leaving children to beget children the father by successive generaâ—ion is made immortall of which immortaâ—itie all such are justly deprived who abandon themselves to a life single and solitary But there ought to be a great care in the Parents in disposing of their children the better to continue this blessed perpetuitie The Emperour Aurelius informeth us that there was a custome amongst the Rhodians or a Proverb at least that the fathers to marry a son need to spend but one day but in the disposing of one daughter they ought to consider with themselves ten yeers which were it even in these times carefully observed and diligently imitated might be the prevention of many inconveniences or rather palpable mischiefes of which we have had many wofull examples Some through their base avarice not willing to allow unto their daughters sufficient dowers Others too prodigall have stretcht themselves beyond their ability and meanes to be the ruine of their children by pride and of themselves by poverty Others ill advised or too selfe-opinioned by their too much dotage on the sons have cast too great a neglect upon the daughters by which as they lose time so they forfeit duty and many times chastity for when they come to maturity of yeers such as their fathers have no care to bestow have a will to dispose of themselves the event of which is for the most part disaster and penurie Others will enforce them to marry where themselves like and not where their children love the effects of which are commonly discontent and misery for inequality either in yeeres fortunes or affections is the road way to spouse-breach and didivorce for where there is dis-union of hearts there must needs be disorders in the house How often have forced contracts beene made to add land to land not love to love and to unite houses to houses not hearts to hearts which hath beene the occasion that men have turned monsters and women devills I forbeare to instance any for in nomination of the dead I might perhaps give distast to such of the kinred who yet survive who no question could rather with that the memory thereof were rather buried than blazed abroad Further who shall but follow the Circuit in the Countrey besides these trialls here in the City shall seldome find a generall Assises without some evidence or other givâ—â— upon the like tragicall accidents But leaving these I purpose in the next place to speake something concerning the ancient ceremonies observed amongst the Romans and others in their contracts and nuptiall ceremonies The Romans called them Sponsalia à spondendo of the vow and promise made each to other which words were writ downe recorded and sealed before witnesses and those were called Signatores Before the ceremony the Bride and Bridegroome consulted severally either of them with a soothsayer to know what omen should be in their future marriage Of which Iuvenal in his tenth Satyr maketh mention Veniet cum signatoribuâ— auspex .i. The Soothsayer comes with those that signed to the contract Aul. Gellius informes us that the young man gave unto