to bee commanded and please wearing them to the backe and then either finding or framing excuses to discard them emptie but vpon all opportunities lets them feele the sweetnesse of their owne seruiceablenesse and his bountie Silence in officious seruice is the best Oratorie to plead for his respect all diligence is but lent to him none lost His wealth stands in receiuing his honour in giuing hee cares not either how many holde of his goodnesse or to how few hee is beholden and if hee haue cast away fauours he hates either to vpbraid them to his enemie or to challenge restitution None can be more pitifull to the distressed or more prone to succour and then most where is least meanes to solicit least possibilitie of requitall He is equally addressed to warre peace and knowes not more how to command others than how to be his countries seruant in both He is more carefull to giue true honor to his Maker than to receiue ciuill honour from men Hee knowes that this seruice is free and noble and euer loaded with sincere glorie and how vaine it is to hunt after applause from the world till he be sure of him that moldeth all hearts and powreth contempt on Princes and shortly so demeanes himselfe as one that accounts the bodie of Nobilitie to consist in Blood the soule in the eminence of Vertue Of the Good Magistrate HE is the faithfull Deputie of his Maker whose obedience is the rule whereby he ruleth his brest is the Ocean whereinto all the cares of priuate men emptie themselues which as hee receiues without complaint and ouerflowing so he sends them forth againe by a wise conueyance in the streames of iustice his doores his eares are euer open to suters and not who comes first speeds well but whose cause is best His nights his meales are short and interrupted all which hee beares well because hee knowes himselfe made for a publique seruant of peace and iustice Hee sits quietly at the sterne commands one to the top-saile another to the maine a third to the plummet a fourth to the anchor as hee sees the need of their course and weather requires and doth no lesse by his tongue than all the Mariners with their hands On the bench he is another from himselfe at home now all priuate respects of blood alliance amitie are forgotten and if his own sonne come vnder triall hee knowes him not Pitie which in all others is woont to bee the best praise of humanitie the fruit of Christian loue is by him throwen ouer the barre for corruption as for Fauour the false Aduocate of the gracious he allowes him not to appeare in the Court there only causes are heard speake not persons Eloquence is then only not discouraged when she serues for a client of truth meere Narrations are allowed in this Oratory not Proemes not Excursions not Glosses Truth must strip herselfe and come in naked to his barre without false bodies or colours without disguises A bribe in his closet or a letter on the bench or the whispering and winks of a great neighbour are answered with an angry and courageous repulse Displeasure reuenge recompense stand on both sides the bench but he scornes to turne his eye towards them looking only right forward at Equitie which stands full before him His sentence is euer deliberate and guided with ripe wisdome yet his hand is slower than his tongue but when he is vrged by occasion either to doome or execution he shewes how much hee hateth mercifull iniustice neither can his resolution or act be reuersed with partiall importunitie His forhead is rugged and seuere able to discountenance villanie yet his words are more awfull than his brow and his hand than his wordes I know not whether he be more feared or loued both affections are so sweetly contempered in all hearts The good feare him louingly the middle sort loue him fearefully and only the wicked man feares him slauishly without loue He hates to pay priuate wrongs with the aduantage of his office and if euer he be partiall it is to his enemy He is not more sage in his gowne than valorous in armes and increaseth in the rigor of his discipline as the times in danger His sword hath neither rusted for want of vse nor surfeteth of blood but after many threats is vnsheathed as the dreadfull instrument of diuine reuenge He is the guard of good lawes the refuge of innocencie the Comet of the guiltie the pay-maister of good deserts the champian of iustice the patron of peace the tutor of the Church the father of his Countrey and as it were another God vpon earth THE SECOND Booke Characterismes of Vices LONDON Printed by M. B. for Eleazar Edgar and S. Macham The Prooeme I Haue shewed you many faire Vertues I speak not for them if their sight can not command affection let them lose it They shall please yet better after you haue troubled your eyes a little with the view of deformities and by how much more they please so much more odious and like themselues shall these deformities appeare This light contraries giue to ech other in the midst of their enmitie that one makes the other seeme more good or ill Perhaps in some of these which thing I do at once feare and hate my stile shall seeme to some lesse graue more Satyricall if you finde me not without cause iealous let it please you to impute it to the nature of those vices which will not be otherwise handled The fashions of some euils are besides the odiousnesse ridiculous which to repeat is to seeme bitterlie merrie I abhorre to make sport with wickednesse and forbid any laughter heere but of disdaine Hypocrisie shall lead this ring woorthily I thinke because both she commeth neerest to Vertue and is the woorst of Vices The Hypocrite AN Hypocrite is the worst kinde of plaier by so much as he acts the better part which hath alwayes two faces oft times two hearts That can compose his forhead to sadnesse and grauitie while hee bids his heart be wanton and carelesse within and in the meane time laughs within himselfe to think how smoothly he hath couzened the beholder In whose silent face are written the characters of Religion which his tongue gestures pronounce but his hands recant That hath a cleane face and garment with a soule soule whose mouth belies his heart and his fingers belie his mouth Walking early vp into the Citie he turnes into the great Church and salutes one of the pillars on one knee worshipping that God which at home hee cares not for while his eye is fixed on some window on some passenger and his heart knowes not whither his lips go Hee rises and looking about with admiration complaines of our frozen charitie commends the ancient At Church hee will euer sit where hee may bee seene best and in the midst of the Sermon pulles out his Tables in haste as if he feared to leese that
and when hee stands before the barre for trueth his tongue is calmly free his forhead firme and hee with erect and setled countenance heares his vniust sentence and reioyces in it The Iailers that attend him are to him his pages of honour his dungeon the lower part of the vault of heauen his racke or wheele the staires of his ascent to glorie he challengeth his executioners and incounters the fiercest paines with strength of resolution and while he suffers the beholders pitse him the tormentours complaine of wearinesse and both of them wonder No anguish can maister him whether by violence or by lingring He accounts expectation no punishment and can abide to haue his hopes adiourned till a new day Good lawes serue for his protection not for his reuenge and his own power to auoid indignities not to returne them His hopes are so strong that they can insult ouer the greatest discouragements and his apprehensions so deep that when he hath once fastened hee sooner leaueth his life than his hold Neither time nor peruersnesse can make him cast off his charitable endeuors and despaire of preuailing but in spight of all crosses and all denials he redoubleth his beneficiall offers of loue Hee trieth the sea after many ship-wracks and beates still at that doore which hee neuer saw opened Contrarietie of euents doth but exercise not dismay him and when crosses afflict him he sees a diuine hand inuisibly striking with these sensible scourges against which hee dares not rebell not murmure Hence all things befall him alike and hee goes with the same minde to the shambles and to the folde His recreations are calme and gentle and not more full of relaxation than void of fury This man onely can turne necessitie into vertue and put euill to good vse Hee is the surest friend the latest and easiest enemie the greatest conqueror and so much more happy than others by how much hee could abide to be more miserable The True Friend HIs affections are both vnited and diuided vnited to him he loueth diuided betwixt another and himselfe and his one heart is so parted that whiles hee hath some his friend hath all His choice is led by vertue or by the best of vertues religion not by gaine not by pleasure yet not without respect of equall condition of disposition not vnlike which once made admits of no change except hee whom hee loueth be changed quite from himselfe nor that suddenly but after long expectation Extremity doth but fasten him whiles he like a well-wrought vault lies the stronger by how much more weight hee beares When necessitie calles him to it he can be a seruant to his equall with the same will wherewith he can command his inferior and tho he rise to honor forgets not his familiarity nor suffers inequalitie of estate to worke strangenesse of countenance on the other side he lifts vp his friend to aduancement with a willing hand without out enuie without dissimulation When his mate is dead he accounts himselfe but halfe aliue then his loue not dissolued by death deriues it selfe to those orphans which neuer knew the price of their father they become the heires of his affection and the burden of his cares He embraces a free communitie of all things saue those which either honesty reserues proper or nature and hates to enioy that which would do his friend more good his charitie serues to cloake noted infirmities not by vntruth not by flattery but by discreet secrecie neither is hee more fauourable in concealement than round in his priuate reprehensions and when anothers simple fidelitie shewes it selfe in his reproofe he loues his monitor so much the more by how much more he smarteth His bosome is his friends closet where he may safely lay vp his cōplaints his doubts his cares and looke how he leaues so he findes them saue for some addition of seasonable counsell for redresse If some vnhappy suggestion shall either disioint his affection or breake it it soone knits againe and growes the stronger by that stresse He is so sensible of anothers iniuries that when his friend is stricken hee cries out and equally smarteth vntouched as one affected not sympathy but with a reall feeling of paine and in what mischiefe may be preuented he interposeth his aid and offers to redeeme his friend with himselfe no houre can be vnseasonable no businesse difficult nor paine grieuous in condition of his ease and what either doth or suffereth he neither cares nor desires to haue knowen lest he should seem to look for thanks If hee can therefore steale the performance of a good office vnseene the conscience of his faithfulnesse heerein is so much sweeter as it is more secret In fauours done his memorie is fraile in benefits receiued eternall hee scorneth either to regard recompence or not to offer it He is the comfort of miseries the guide of difficulties the ioy of life the treasure of earth and no other than a good Angell clothed in flesh Of the Truly-Noble HE stands not vpon what he borrowed of his Ancestours but thinks he must worke out his owne honor and if he can not reach the vertue of them that gaue him outward glory by inheritance he is more abashed of his impotencie than transported with a great name Greatnesse doth not make him scornfull and imperious but rather like the fixed starres the higher he is the lesse he desires to seeme Neither cares he so much for pompe and frothie ostentation as for the solid truth of Noblenesse Courtesie and sweet affabilitie can be no more seuered from him than life from his soule not out of a base and seruile popularitie and desire of ambitious insinuation but of a natiue gentlenesse of disposition and true value of himselfe His hand is open and bounteous yet not so as that he should rather respect his glorie than his estate wherein his wisdome can distinguish betwixt parasites and friends betwixt changing of fauors and expending them He scorneth to make his height a priuilege of loosenesse but accounts his titles vaine if hee be inferior to others in goodnesse and thinks hee should be more strict the more eminent he is because hee is more obserued and now his offences are become exemplar There is no vertue that hee holds vnfit for ornament for vse nor any vice which he condemnes not as fordid and a fit companion of basenesse and whereof he doth not more hate the blemish than affect the pleasure He so studies as one that knowes ignorance can neither purchase honour nor wield it and that knowledge must both guide and grace him His exercises are from his childhood ingenuous manly decent and such as tend still to wit valor actiuitie and if as seldome he descend to disports of chance his games shall neuer make him either pale with feare or hote with desire of gaine Hee doth not so vse his followers as if he thought they were made for nothing but his seruitude whose felicitie were onlie
note when hee writes either his forgotten errand or nothing then he turnes his bible with a noise to seeke an omitted quotation and folds the lease as if hee had found it and askes aloud the name of the Preacher and repeats it whom hee publikelie salutes thanks praises inuites entertaines with tedious good counsell with good discourse if it had come from an honester mouth Hee can commaund teares when hee speaks of his youth indeed because it is past not because it was sinfull himselfe is now better but the times are worse All other sinnes hee reckons vp with detestation while hee loues and hides his darling in his bosome All his speech returnes to himselfe and euery occurrent drawes in a storie to his owne praise When he should giue he looks about him and sayes WHO SEES ME No almes no prayers fall from him without a witnesse belike lest God should denie that hee hath receiued them and when hee hath done lest the world should not know it his owne mouth is his trumpet to proclame it With the superfluitie of his vsurie hee builds an Hospitall and harbors them whom his extortion hath spoiled so while hee makes many beggers he keeps some Hee turneth all Gnats into Camels and cares not to vndoe the world for a circumstance Flesh on a Friday is more abomination to him than his neighbours bed Hee abhorres more not to vncouer at the name of Iesus than to sweare by the name of God When a Rimer reads his Poeme to him he begges a Copie and perswades the Presse there is nothing that hee dislikes in presence that in absence hee censures not He comes to the sicke bed of his stepmother weeps when hee secretly feares her recouerie He greets his friend in the street with so cleere a countenance so fast a closure that the other thinks hee reades his heart in his face and shakes hands with an indefinite inuitation of When will you come and when his backe is turned ioyes that he is so well rid of a guest yet if that guest visit him vnseared hee counterfeits a smiling welcome and excuses his chere when closely he frownes on his wife for too much He shewes well and sayes well and himselfe is the worst thing he hath In briefe hee is the strangers saint the neighbors disease the blotte of goodnesse a rotten sticke in a darke night a poppie in a corne field an ill tempered candle with a great snuffe that in going out smelles ill an Angell abroad a Diuell at home and worse when an Angell than when a Diuell The Characterism of the Busie-Bodie HIs estate is too narrow for his minde and therefore hee is faine to make himselfe roome in others affaires yet euer in pretence of loue No newes can stir but by his doore neither can he know that which hee must not tell What euerie man ventures in Guiana voyage what they gained he knowes to a haire Whether Holland will haue peace hee knowes and on what conditions and with what successe is familiar to him ere it bee concluded No Post can passe him without a question and rather than he will leese the newes he rides backe with him to appose him of tidings and then to the next man hee meets hee supplies the wants of his hasty intelligence and makes vp a perfect tale wherewith he so haunteth the patient auditor that after many excuses hee is faine to indure rather the censure of his maners in running away than the tediousnesse of an impertinent discourse His speech is oft broken off with a succession of long parentheses which he euer vowes to fill vp ere the conclusion and perhaps would effect it if the others eare were as vnweariable as his tongue If hee see but two men talke and reade a letter in the street hee runnes to them and asks if he may not be partner of that secret relation and if they denie it hee offers to tell since hee may not heare woonders and then falles vpon the report of the Scotish Mine or of the great fish taken vp at Linne or of the freezing of the Thames and after many thanks and dismissions is hardly intreated silence Hee vndertakes as much as he performes little this man will thrust himselfe forward to be the guide of the way hee knowes not and calles at his neighbors window asks why his seruants are not at worke The Market hath no commoditie which hee prizeth not and which the next table shall not heare recited His tongue like the taile of Sampsons foxes carries fire-brand and is enough to set the whole field of the world on a flame Himselfe beginnes table-talke of his neighbour at anothers boord to whom he beares the first newes and adiures him to conceale the reporter whose cholericke answer he returnes to his first host inlarged with a second edition so as it vses to be done in the fight of vnwilling mastiues hee claps ech on the side apart and prouokes them to an eager conflict There can no Act passe without his Comment which is euer far-fetch't rash suspicious delatorie His eares are long and his eyes quicke but most of all to imperfections which as he easily sees so he increases with intermedling Hee harbours another mans seruant and amiddes his entertainment asks what fare is vsuall at home what houres are kept what talke passeth their meales what his masters disposition is what his gouernment what his guests And when hee hath by curious inquiries extracted all the iuice and spirit of hoped intelligence turnes him off whence he came and works on a new Hee hates constancie as an ear-then dulnesse vnfit for men of spirit and loues to change his worke and his place neither yet can hee bee so soone wearie of any place as euerie place is wearie of him for as hee sets himselfe on worke so others pay him with hatred and looke how manie maisters hee hath so manie enemies neither is it possible that anie should not hate him but who know him not So then hee labours without thanks talkes without credit liues without loue dies without teares without pitie saue that some say it was pitie he died no sooner The Superstitious SVperstition is Godlesse religion deuout impietie The superstitious is fond in obseruation seruile in feare he worships God but as he lifts he giues God what he asks not more than he askes and all but what he should giue and makes more sinnes than the Ten Commandements This man dares not stirre foorth till his brest be crossed and his face sprinckled if but an hare crosse him the way he returnes or if his iourney began vnawares on the dismall day or if hee stumbled at the threshold If he see a snake vnkilled hee feares a mischiefe if the salt fall towards him hee lookes pale and red and is not quiet till one of the waiters haue powred wine on his lappe and when hee neeseth thinks them not his friends that vncouer not In the morning he listens
whether the Crow crieth eeuen or odde and by that token presages of the weather If hee heare but a Rauen croke from the next roofe hee makes his will or if a Bittour flie ouer his head by night but if his troubled fancie shall second his thoughts with the dreame of a faire Garden or greene rushes or the salutation of a dead friend hee takes leaue of the world and sayes he can not liue Hee will neuer set to Sea but on a Sunday neither euer goes without an Erra Pater in his pocket Saint Pauls day and Saint Swithunes with the Twelue are his Oracles which he dares beleeue against the Almanacke When hee lies sicke on his death-bed no sinne troubles him so much as that he did once eat flesh on a Friday no repentance can expiate that the rest need none There is no dreame of his without an interpretation without a prediction and if the euent answer not his exposition hee expounds it according to the euent Euery darke groaue and pictured wall strikes him with an awfull but carnall deuotion Olde wiues and Starres are his counsellers his night-spell is his guard and charmes his Physitians He weares Paracelsian Characters for the tooth-ache and a little hallowed wax is his Antidote for all euils This man is strangely credulous and calles impossible things miraculous If hee heare that some sacred blocke speakes moues weepes smiles his bare foot carrie him thither with an offering and if a danger misse him in the way his saint hath the thanks Some wayes he will not go some he dares not either there are bugs or hee faineth them euery lanterne is a ghost euery noise is of chaines He knowes not why but his custome is to goe a little about and to leaue the crosse stil on the right hand One euent is enough to make a rule out of these rules he concludes fashions proper to himselfe and nothing can turne him out of his owne course If he haue done his taske hee is safe it matters not with what affection Finally if God would let him be the caruer of his owne obedience hee could not haue a better subiect as he is he can not haue a worse Characterisme of the Profane THe Superstitious hath too manie Gods the Prophane man hath none at all vnlesse perhaps himselfe bee his owne deitie and the world his heauen To matter of religion his heart is a piece of dead flesh without feeling of loue of feare of care or of paine from the deafe stroakes of a reuenging conscience Custome of sinne hath wrought this senslesnesse which now hath beene so long entertained that it pleades prescription and knowes not to be altered This is no sudden euill we are borne sinfull but haue made our selues prophane through manie degrees wee climbe to this height of impietie At first hee sinned and cared not now hee sinneth and knoweth not Appetite is his lord and reason his seruant and religion his drudge Sense is the rule of his beleefe and if pietie may be an aduantage he can at once counterfeit and deride it When ought succeedeth to him hee sacrifices to his nets and thanks either his fortune or his wit and will rather make a false God than acknowledge the true if contrary he cries out of destiny blames him to whom hee will not bee beholden His conscience would faine speake with him but he will not heare it sets the day but hee disappoints it and when it cries loud for audience hee drownes the noise with good fellowship He neuer names God but in his oathes neuer thinks of him but in extremity then he knowes not how to thinke of him because he beginnes but then He quarrels for the hard conditions of his pleasure for his future damnation and from himselfe layes all the fault vpon his maker and from his decree fetcheth excuses of his wickednesse The ineuitable necessity of Gods counsell makes him desperately carelesse so with good food he poisons himselfe Goodnesse is his Minstrell neither is anie mirth so cordiall to him as his sport with Gods fooles Euerie vertue hath his slander and his iest to laugh it out of fashion euery vice his colour His vsuallest theme is the boast of his yoong sinnes which he can still ioy in tho he can not commit and if it may bee his speech makes him woorse than hee is Hee can not thinke of death with patience without terrour which he therefore feares worse than hell because this he is sure of the other hee but doubts of Hee comes to Church as to the Theater sauing that not so willinglie for companie for custome for recreation perhaps for sleepe or to feed his eyes or his eares as for his soule hee cares no more than if hee had none He loues none but himselfe and that not enough to seeke his true good neither cares hee on whom hee treads that he may rise His life is full of licence and his practise of outrage He is hated of God as much as hee hateth goodnesse and differs little from a diuell but that he hath a body The Characterism of the Male-content HE is neither well full nor fasting and tho he abound with cōplaints yet nothing dislikes him but the present for what hee condemned while it was once past hee magnifies and striues to recall it out of the iawes of Time What hee hath hee seeth not his eyes are so taken vp with what he wants and what hee sees hee cares not for because hee cares so much for that which is not When his friend carues him the best morsell hee murmures that it is an happie feast wherein each one may cut for himselfe When a present is sent him he asks Is this all and What no better and so accepts it as if hee would haue his friend know how much he is bound to him for vouchsafing to receiue it It is hard to enterteine him with a proportionable gift If nothing he cries out of vnthankfulnesse if little that hee is basely regarded if much hee exclames of flatterie and expectation of a large requital Euery blessing hath somwhat to disparage distaste it Children bring cares single life is wilde and solitarie Eminency is enuious retirednesse obscure Fasting painfull satietie vnweldie Religion nicely seuere libertie is lawlesse Wealth burdensome mediocrity contemptible Euerie thing faulteth either in too much or too little This man is euer headstrong and selfe-willed neither is he alwayes tied to esteeme or pronounce according to reason some things he must dislike hee knowes not wherefore but hee likes them not and other where rather than not censure he will accuse a man of vertue Euerie thing hee medleth with hee either findeth imperfect or maketh so neither is there anie thing that soundeth so harsh in his eare as the commendation of another whereto yet perhaps he fashionably and coldly assenteth but with such an after-clause of exception as doth more than marre his former allowance and if hee list not
to giue a verball disgrace yet hee shakes his head and smiles as if his silence should say I could and will not And when himselfe is praised without excesse hee complaines that such imperfect kindnesse hath not done him right If but an vnseasonable shower crosse his recreation he is ready to fall out with heauen and thinkes hee is wronged if GOD will not take his times when to raine when to shine Hee is a slaue to enuie and loseth flesh with fretting not so much at his owne infelicitie as at others good neither hath he leasure to ioy in his owne blessings whilest another prospereth Faine would he see some mutinies but dare not raise them and suffers his lawlesse tongue to walke thorow the dangerous paths of conceited alterations but so as in good maners hee had rather thrust euery man before him when it comes to acting Nothing but feare keeps him from conspiracies and no man is more cruell when hee is not manicled with danger He speaks nothing but Satyres and libels and lodgeth no guests in his heart but rebels The inconstant and hee agree well in their felicity which both place in change but heerein they differ the inconstant man affects that which will be the male-content commonly that which was Finally he is a querulous curre whom no horse can passe by without barking at yea in the deepe silence of night the very moone-shine openeth his clamorous mouth he is the wheele of a well-couched fire-worke that flies out on all sides not without scorching it selfe Euery eare was long agoe wearie of him and he is now almost wearie of himselfe Giue him but a little respite and he will die alone of no other death than others welfare The Vnconstant THe inconstant man treads vpō a mouing earth and keeps no pace His proceedings are euer headdie and peremptorie for hee hath not the patience to consult with reason but determines meerelie vpon fancie No man is so hot in the pursute of what hee liketh no man sooner wearie He is fiery in his passions which yet are not more violent than momentanie it is a woonder if his loue or hatred last so many dayes as a wonder His heart is the Inne of all good motions wherein if they lodge for a night it is well by morning they are gone and take no leaue and if they come that way againe they are entertained as guests not as friends At first like another Ecebolius he loued simple trueth thence diuerting his eyes hee fell in loue with idolatrie those heathenish shrines had neuer any more doting and besotted client and now of late hee is leapt from Rome to Munster and is growen to giddie Anabaptisme what he will be next as yet he knoweth not but ere hee haue Wintred his opinion it will be manifest Hee is good to make an enemie of ill for a friend because as there is no trust in his affection so no rancour in his displeasure The multitude of his changed purposes brings with it forgetfulnesse and not of others more than of himselfe He sayes sweares renounces because what hee promised hee meant not long enough to make an impression Heerin alone he is good for a Common-wealth that hee sets manie on worke with building ruining altering and makes more businesse than Time it selfe neither is hee a greater enemie to thrift than to idlenesse Proprietie is to him enough cause of dislike each thing pleases him better that is not his owne Euen in the best things long continuance is a iust quarrell Manna it selfe growes tedious with age and Noueltie is the highest stile of commendation to the meanest offers Neither doth he in books and fashions aske How good but How new Varietie carries him away with delight and no vniforme pleasure can be without an irksome fulnesse Hee is so transformable into all opinions maners qualities that he seemes rather made immediatly of the first matter than of well tempered elements and therefore is in possibilitie any thing or euerie thing nothing in present substance Finally he is seruile in imitation waxey to persuasions wittie to wrong himselfe a guest in his owne house an ape of others and in a word any thing rather than himselfe The Flatterer FLatterie is nothing but false friendship fawning hypocrisie dishonest ciuilitie base merchandize of words a plausible discord of the heart and lips The Flatterer is bleare-eyed to ill and can not see vices and his tongue walks euen in one tracke of vniust praises and can no more tell how to discommend than to speake true His speeches are full of wondring Interiections and all his titles are superlatiue both of them seldome euer but in presence His base minde is well matched with a mercenarie tongue which is a willing slaue to another mans eare neither regardeth hee how true but how pleasing His Art is nothing but delightfull cozenage whose rules are smoothing and garded with periurie whose scope is to make men fooles in teaching them to ouer-value themselues and to tickle his friends to death This man is a Porter of all good tales and mends them in the carriage One of Fames best friends and his owne that helps to furnish her with those rumors that may aduantage himselfe Conscience hath no greater aduersarie for when shee is about to play her iust part of accusation he stops her mouth with good termes and well-neere strangleth her with shifts Like that subtle fish he turnes himselfe into the colour of euery stone for a booty In himselfe hee is nothing but what pleaseth his GREAT-ONE whose vertues he can not more extoll than imitate his imperfections that hee may thinke his worst gracefull Let him say it is hote hee wipes his forhead and vnbraceth himselfe if cold he shiuers calles for a warmer garment When he walks with his friend hee sweares to him that no manels is looked at no man talked of and that whomsoeuer hee vouchsafes to looke on nod to is graced enough That he knoweth not his owne woorth lest hee should be too happie and when he tells what others say in his praise he interrupts himselfe modestlie and dares not speake the rest so his concealement is more insinuating than his speech He hangs vpon the lips which hee admireth as if they could let fall nothing but oracles and finds occasion to cite some approoued sentence vnder the name he honoureth and when ought is nobly spoken both his hands are little enough to blesse him Sometimes euen in absence hee extolleth his patron where hee may presume of safe conueiance to his cares and in presence so whispereth his commendation to a common friend that it may not be vnheard where he meant it He hath salues for euery sore to hide them not to heale them complexion for euery face Sin hath not any more artificiall broker or more impudent band There is no vice that hath not from him his colour his allurement and his best seruice is either to further guiltinesse or smother