earnestly beg of God on thy knees as if thou wert pleading for thy life that God would humble thee and give thee more love to himself and to the rest of thy brethren and take heed likewise of angering them O that thou wouldst but practise this truly truly I should rejoice Angels in Heaven would rejoice as it is written The Angels rejoise at the conversion of a sinner Secondly Look that thou readest the Scriptures diligently every day and let this be thy first work in the morning and the last at night And if thou canst not understand go to God and beg that he would give thee more light and if thou dost this likewise happy shalt thou be And seeing it is late before you go to supper and bed therefore thou maist set apart some time for this duty in the afternoon And this you must do and then wait upon God for a blessing And truly do but reflect on your self and tell me what 's the cause of all that gross ignorance which is in you Truly 't is because you read little in the Scripture and other good Books And if perhaps you read a Chapter now and then it is either because you are forc'd to it or because you would read some story in the Old Testament only to recreate your carnal mind Let me but ask you this one question Do you when you take the Bible in your hand consider it is the book of God and if you do not practise what you read it will turn to your condemnation Do but consider this thing seriously and the God of Heaven bless it to your soul Now I pray and entreat you not to slight this which I have said but turn it into practise And it will be my desire thâ—t you will write this out fair that thou maist read it sometimes and maist know that thy brother loves thy soul as dearly as his own What I have now writ unto thee in particular thou wilt do well if thou communicatest it to all thy brethren that they may not be wanting in these things which I have here desired of thee in particular for I could desire that thou mightest begin to lead the way to Heaven in that family but especially let this be known to my Sister Anne I pray her not to think much that I direct this to you and not to her for I thought you would write to me and I questioned whether she hath not forgot but if she doth write I assure her if my soul and body can do her service it shall I shall not mention my Sister Mary because I have hinted her case in my Fathers Letter The God of Heaven be with you So I pray who am Your tender and most affectionate Brother Tho. Wadsworth Dear and Loving Sister IT hath been such a great interval of time since we last exchang'd Letters with one another that I know not whether to charge you or my self with negligence but I hope neither of us are guilty of forgetfulness God is my witness that I daily make mention of you in my prayers and I assure you it will exceedingly raise my heart in praises if God will but answer them upon your soul And truly my expectations are very great towards you and the rest of my friends I know not who they shall be either in that family or some where else but rather there for God of late hath shewn me much of his goodness as to the answering of my prayers as to particular persons And I am assured that he hath several times drawn out my heart as much if not more for that family So that I live in continual expectations of hearing of the Sun of Righteousness to rise among you and the day star of holiness and purity to break out of some of your souls And to this purpose I have sent you this Letter that you among the rest might be one that may fulfil my joy in the Lord. I am sorry that all this while I have not heard from my Brother John I hope that the Lord will stir up his heart likewise Heaven-ward Tell him that I would have writ to him but that I had so much to write to others so that I was fain to steal a little time to write these few lines As for your self for the present I shall only desire you to read Scripture much and pray constantly if possibly you can twice or three times a day For directions herein I desire you to peruse seriously my Sister Anne's Letter which I have here sent her Lastly Take a special care of my Sister Mary labour to get her to pray though she can but chatter God can hear He hears the young Ravens when they cry and feeds them and will he not much more hear a young child To whom I pray you commend my love very kindly I have no more at this present but that I am Your ever Loving Brother Tho. Wadsworth Loving Sister AS the Letter was with great affection desired so was it as gratefully received by me Neither was it so much because that you did write but because you writ so well and heartily And I shall here assure you that you cannot rejoice me more than in letting me see such sentences dropping from your pen as did in the last Letter And I am likewise as certain that your discovery of them proceeding from your heart carries in it a far more exceeding weight of joy to your own soul I shall have but one or two things to you at this time and I shall conclude First Be constant in Prayer morning and evening and labour not only to speak words but let your words express your heart Secondly Before and after Prayer join reading of the Scriptures Thirdly Take heed of vain and foolish discourse be as little in talk as may be without it is in good discourse I shall now only desire you to write to me every week or fortnight and I doubt not but you will find your parts encrease and abour but to put Letters in practice and you shall find likewise your graces encrease And with this I conclude only desiring you to remember me to your Brother and Sisters and I shall be as I ever was Your Loving Brother T. W. A SERMON PREACHED BY Mr. THO. WADSWORTH Taken in Short-hand REV. XII 1. And there appeared a great wonder in Heaven a Woman clothed with the Sun and the Moon under her feet and upon her head a Crown of twelve Stars IN these words you have a description of the Church of Jesus Christ on earth the Church of Christ is of all Societies of the world the most glorious it is a Society founded by the Counsel of the great God a Society that is purchased and bought by the blood of the Son of God 't is a Society called out of this wicked world to worship God in spirit and in truth 't is a Society that is to God himself as the apple of his eye 't is a Society
for a time Answ Thou hadst better conclude that thou wast blind rather as to the discovery of them than that they did not at all rise at that time But for more narrow search into this case consider whether thy corruptions now rising are resisted by thee more than they were before if so conclude then the mortification of them Secondly It is not best in this case to ask the question too deeply whether they were mortified before because the Devil hereby will take advantage of the soul to vex it but rather apply thy self to Christ by new acts of faith as to the mortificationof them XVII Often times souls are puzled in their enquiries into the mortification of corruptions and know not what to conclude of them For if they look upon their hearts they find corruptions either bubling and rising up and impetuous or else they are still If rising that makes against the mortification of them if they rise not they are apt to conclude they are rather still than mortified To resolve such a soul I think it is best for it to look upon that in the soul which is opposite to sin and to examine whether there is greater love to God in him whether he loves Saints more and is more desirous that his sins should be mortified than formerly If he find these things in him he may conclude that his sins are in a greater measure mortified For sins and grace or love to God are like two scales and if you can but discover that grace is higher or your love and breathings are greater you may conclude that sin is lower and mortified XVIII On Saturday August 17 1650. He records I was exceedingly troubled with risings of a proud heart and on Sabath-day in the morning I found the like accompanied with envying against the raisements of other Saints as if I would have none higher than my self Yea and in the afternoon was exceeding troubled with lightness of spirit so that I could scarce forbear laughing at Church and after when I came home for one of Trinity being with me I was fain to leave him in the Chamber and enter my Study lest I should betray the nakedness of mine heart Oh cursed heart But for this spiritual distemper mine heart was suddenly troubled and I had just such a sorrow as if I had lost some outward friend and I did exceedingly take on in mourning for my folly XIX On the 22d following I had an ingenuous melting possest my soul on a sudden reflecting upon my want of discovery of the love of God these three or four days and the day following I was in a pretty good frame of spirit Whereupon I came to consider if a man would know whether he lives above all his duties let him see whether or no in a search after Sanctification he doth not lay more stress upon one duty than another For this Souls are very apt to do especially on those duties which are extraordinary As for instance if thou keepest a private fast with some other Christians or else prayest at some part in the day different from the seâ—-times or prayest more times a day than ordinary either by thy self or with other Christians or such times as those above praying at the Chappel if thou dost it is a sign that there is a tincture of self-dependence Therefore it is the best way to make an equal conscience of them all as for performance of them and look on them all with the same eye and say that thou art unprofitable in them all And that thou maist attain to this temper after every duty examine what vanity of thoughts what formality in spirit thou hadst in the doing of them that thou maist see they are all nothing without Christ XX. What should I do in a dull and dead state Answ 1 Double the watch over thine own heart aâ—d affections it is common to see a soul dead and careless 2 Labour to strengthen faith in the Promises of Gods love and willingness to receive souls The Parable of the Prodigal and that if a child aâ—k his father bread will he give him a stone c. should be consider'd 3 Make this improvement of thy present deadness to humble thy soul and see thine own vileness that thou shouldst abuse such riches of grace as it may be thou hast done and by that sin shouldst cause that deadness Take heed of slighting the deadness of your heart if you do you grow careless of Gods anger for deadness is a sign that God is angry XXI What should a man do in enjoyments Answ It is common for such souls presently to grow so confident of themselves as to let go their watch and so oftentimes are betray'd by their enemies 1 Be then as earnest for the enjoying of more of God when thou art raised as thou wast to enjoy any thing of God when thou wast not Let not a discovery of love stop thy breathing Saints often sit down here and so fall back again 2 Seek to redouble thy faith to make it stronger than ever for time will be that thou maist have use of it 3 Labour to humble thy self under thine enjoyments Let not the thoughts of Sonship dry up thine eyes but be sure the more of self-abhorrency the more evidence of thy Sonship XXII On Saturday the 5th and Sabbath-day the 6th of Octob. 1650 He records The Lord humbled me much in the sight of unworthy dealings with God and I may say God was in me of a truth this grace was then so lively in me that I prest it much to the company But yet Oh wretched heart before I came out of the company that night I was taken with a violent passion of pride and anger Yet by this fall I may bless my God God humbled me more than I was before yea and it caused me to have more contemptible thoughts of my self than ever Whereupon we find this sell-abasing Christian student to set down how he may get the victory over head-strong Passions when he adds Humility of spirit is attainable by getting quick and sprightful apprehensions of self weakness to grace and discovering the evil of a carnal heart which may be discern'd in spiritual duties by its sallying often into the world and much suspected when it is readier to close with a promise of God that speaks comfort than with a command of God which speaks obedience Oh! pray against such a distemper as savours of self seeking and labour to get holy Principles such as love to God to be the spring of all thy words actions and walkings and then thou maist take comfort in them for if any other humility which is carnal be found prevailing in thee it will argue hypocrisie There is so much pride in men naturally that when God begins to work upon the soul he finds no greater an enemy to it than pride and of nothing more do Saints complain than it which makes them unfit for any company any discourse and therefore
you in this case and mark his dealings with you herein that you may admire him When a man begins first to set his sace Zion-ward yea and afterwards when he hath made some progress in those ways the Devil doth exceedingly labour with such a soul to afflight â—im from the ways of holiness in suggesting that his former company will despise him and in these new ways there must be more strictness of life more tentations and trouble of spirit which kind of arguments will be apt to stagger such a soul very much because as yet they are but weak and have not such powerful principles infus'd into them as may make them strong enough to find the yoke of Christ easie Therefore it will be the best way for such a soul to resolve still to go on and assure himself that there are more joys to be found in God than in all his former courses and withall pray earnestly for the strengthening of inward principles in his soul and more spiritually in his heart to carry him through the strait gate with ease XXXIII This may be the temper of some souls that have had some assurance of their good estate that if afterwards some sin is set home upon their souls they are exceeding loth to dive into their own hearts which is accompanied with this slavish fear lest they should find all their former hopes to be meer flashes and that they have been in a carnally secure state even until now some have div'd into their hearts at such a time and God hath shown them some hypocrisie or selfishness in their former walkings whence they have concluded that if God had let them die in such a condition they had been damn'd and so after this discovery if they have had a clearer discovery of the baseness of their heart they have concluded the like of that estate By this kind of reasonings there are these disadvantages happen to such a soul First He can by no means make Gods former dealings with him subordinate to the innervating of his present condition and without a special work of the divine Spirit a man shall not gather any ground for his present condition Secondly By this he loseth a praising Spirit and he also deals disingenuously with God in not owning all his gracious dispensations to the soul The direction that I would give such an one should be this Let him know that the least grace is true grace Grace in the seed is as true grace as grace in the bud and grace in the bud as true as grace in the blossom Shall the blossom contemn the bud because it is not so fragrant and so flourishing or the bud the seed Oh! take heed of a non entertainment of divine Love I have had such quick checks of conscience that they have forc'd me to Duty to Prayer to Church to Chappel private Conferences and now I am afraid lest all these actions come meerly from checks and not from inward principles Of this thing if thou wouldst satisfie thy soul ask it whether thou hast not a Will contrary to this fleshly temper and it carries thee out to pray earnestly against that I mean not to the stilling of conscience but that God would discover to you that your duties came from more filial principles of love Bless then God for the quickness of conscience and press for strength to obey whatever conscience dictates to be according to right reason and the mind of God but on the other hand take heed of daubing it with any light gloss from Scripture as some species of good if thou do'st thou sinnest XXXIV Seeing that all the mercies of Saints have divine Love mingled among them Now I enjoy worldly blessings I know not whether they are given to me out of love to me says some poor Saint I Answer There be these three marks whereby a soul may see whether his earthly blessings are mingled with spiritual love First Mark whether they were given to you upon the account of prayer Did you beg them of the Lord upon your knees So that you may say all your mercies are the children of your prayers the births of your entreaties your health your meat and drink were wrestled for at a Throne of Grace After this manner did Hannah procure her son Samuel as we may read 1 Sam. Chap. 1. reflect now upon your self and see whether your outward mercies come this way if they do O how sweet and comfortable will they be to you you shall never look considerately upon them but your heart shall be warmed with the love of God Here you may say is a mercy and there is a blessing which I pull'd out of the bosome of divine Love as it were with mine own hand this child and that child this crumb of bread and that drop of drink are all pledges of Gods love to me these are divine influences and sparks of the flames of Gods loving-kindnesses What Adamantine heart would not such discoveries melt into love towards God what soul would not such chains of gold enravish which were both made and put about its neck with the lovely fingers of Christs hands What soul would not such a Cordial comfort which is compounded of love and goodness Mine heart is enravish'd within me whiles I think of this love and every thought that I have of it bespeaks admiration this is that which Angels admire and in which glorified Saints are immers'd these are the Chrystal streams which run before the throne of the Lamb every drop of which presents a jewel of inestimable price It is a thing rather to be admir'd than talk'd of here I could be content to dwell to eternity but I am call'd off to the second mark to discover this love in outward mercies and that is this Ask your soul this Question Whether it hath been drawn out in praises for that which you have received of God Can you say that you love God the more for them and do they engage you to serve God more if they do you may assure your self that Gods love is in every mercy you receive Thirdly Can you see them given to you upon the account of Christ Can you say that God loves you in Christ therefore God gives you this and that mercy this is one of the highest attainments of a Saint on this side glory This speaks fulness of comfort O! how sweet is it to see a reconciled Father hold forth his hand full of mercies to hear him come and say Child take this mercy and that mercy and when ever thou lookest upon them remember that I love thee O how pleasant is such a voice This cannot but work up the soul to love God and to breathe after God more than ever It is hard to distinguish betwixt an holy waiting upon God for the answer of our prayers and a kind of security which is apt to seize upon mens souls after prayer Now for answer consider this That waiting doth not impair breathings of
although Men's wanton fancies would not have it so But by God's Post attempt to set their own As if that were too weak to stand alone 'T was not Event but Duty which his Eye Fixt as the measure to be guided by His Courage in this warfare was so great Nothing could ever force him to retreat But still he kept his ground as who should say If I lose that I also lose the day Therefore let Enemies do what they can My fear of God hath drown'd the fear of Man Thus did he sow in tears till now at last To him this low'ring stormy season 's past And his full sheaves of Glory make amends For light afflictions with what far transcends He liv'd belov'd and dy'd bewail'd and such Wh ' enjoy'd him most enjoy'd him not too much His Body's Earthen-vessel henceforth must Be laid up silent in its native dust Until that matter when the Trump shall sound Start with another form out of the ground He walks in his uprightness but the sense Of this his sleep should make our Diligence That when with Christ the Judg among the train Of Saints and Angels he shall come again Then in that General Assembly we May sing these Sion-songs eternally S. O. Not worthy to unloose The Latchet of his Shooes To the Reader on the Picture and Book HERE you may see some Lines of Wadsworth's face More of his thinking pow'r sublim'd by Grace His Sacramental thoughts in Prose are sweet His Sermons lively Fancies walk on feet His Letters great affections shew'd when young Yet all fall short of Wadsworth's Pulpit-Tongue A Pathetical Meditation on the Passion of Christ to be read by Communicants before their reception of the Sacrament of the Lords-Supper Quest WHat is the Sacrament of the Lords-Supper Ans It consists of two visible signs Bread and Wine which by the Lords appointment was to represent to the receiver his bloody death that so his Disciples may keep it fresh in their memories Q. But is it only to remember that there was a Christ and that he was crucified and no more Ans Experience tells us that such a bare remembrance as that doth little move upon the heart and upon the affections and so will do little or no good It is not the remembrance of any mans death that doth of it self affect me but as I consider him as a father or as a husband or as a friend with many other expressions of his love to me when living this will exceedingly work upon the heart so as to cause sorrow and grief and the like Quest What is it then that I must call to mind when I think upon a bleeding and dying Christ so as to affect my heart Answ The cruel and bloody nature of his Death here you may consider the whole story of his Arraignment his being betrayed by his own Apostle his being spit upon and crowned with thorns his being mocked and jeered by putting a reed into his hand instead of a scepter afterwards his bearing of a Cross and his being nailed to it in his hands and feet after that his being pierced through with a spear this Mat. 27. will fully acquaint you with Secondly the causes of his Death it was no natural disease neither was it for any evil done of his own but for us He bore our iniquities upon the cross Thirdly the effects of his death which was to obtain power of his Father to conquer the Devil and pull us out of his hands to break our hearts and to conquer us to himself to pardon our sins and to give unto us eternal life with himself in glory and this upon our faith and sincere repentance Now from all these things are your Meditations to be raised before you come to the Sacrament and when you are receiving of it An Example of Meditation I have here set you down as followeth Away these wanton wandering worldly thoughts you are clogs to my soul Away all trifling worldly business I cannot now attend your call my heart hath now something else to do Adieu my Friends farewell my Husband Wife and Child I must go see my bleeding Lord that 's dearer to me than you all Come now my soul thou art alone thou knowest the way make hast and speed look yonder see how the people flock cross but this vale and climb but up this Mount thou wilt soon arrive at bloody Golgotha where thou shalt see thy bleeding and dying Saviour to sigh and linger out a dying life on the Cross in love for thee This this might Oh my soul have been thy day and thou might'st have been the prisoner this I say might have been the day in which thou might'st have drunk the bitter cup of the fierce anger of God But look yonder there he goes that must drink up the dregs and all for thee Look again there he goes that must lay down his life that thou maist be reprieved But come my soul draw up a little nearer thou canst not see him well at so great a distance stand here and thou wilt see him passing look there he goes with a train of Virgins following But see how cruelly these barbarous Jews do use him they make him bear his Cross himself and press his wearied fainting limbs above his strength see how they laugh and scoff and wag their heads as if he were their May-game Methinks my heart boils up with rage to see these cruelties revenged Oh! how could the blessed God forbear to see his blessed Son thus wronged Why did he not send twelve Legions of Angels for his rescue Why doth he not send down fire from Heaven upon the heads of these his Sons enemies and so consume them But stay my foelish heart thou knowest not what spirit thou art of this debt was owing and it must be paid God requires so much and it must be given or thou canst not be saved Thy Lord did know this well enough for this he came from Heaven and committed himself to the rage of men he knew he must endure all these revilings and doth it grieve thy soul to see him thus abased Stay but a while and thou shalt see him more look up my soul come tell me what thou seest Oh I cannot sorrow tyes my tougue I cannot speak I see and hear those things that I want a power to utter I see a troop of Virgins following him their weeping eyes their blubbering lips their sighs and throbbings speak them mourners I see my Lord looks towards them and kindly chides their loving sorrow Why weep ye Oh ye Daughters of Jerusalem weep not for me My Lord what need was there for that question Should not they weep when thou must bleed Would not their eyes have been flints if that then they should not drop tears for thee when as thou wert about to pour out thy life and blood for them Ah! could they chuse or do less then weep to see thine innocent self among a herd of Tygers what should
for thee and wilt thou love thy friend the worse because he shares in sorrow with thee for thou canst not but know that he came from Heaven to take to himself a Spouse on Earth and if I was one that he loved and grieved for to see my stubborn heart so hard to yield was this the cause he wanted beauty Oh such a want as this is lovely and methinks my heart could have cleaved the closer to him There was no beauty or comeliness in him and what of that my ugly and deformed soul deserves more loathing my righteousness the comeliest part about me is but rags or a menstruous cloth if there were no more desirableness in him than in me Oh had I loved him then and left all for him it were no wonder but that he should love me I rather stand amazed There was no beauty in him it may be so but could it be otherwise expected from him who came to work in fire and smoke who came to quench the flames of Hell and to satisfie Gods wrath and justice to pull out filthy souls from the jaws of lustful sensual flesh and blood it was not beauty but strength that was here needful A glance of an amorous eye would not have wounded Satan and made him fall from Heaven like a flash of Lightning A comely countenance could not have inchanted and unbar'd Hell-gates and made them fall and break before him into shatters What need a fair hand to touch our filthy rotten souls and take them up in menstruous blood and wash them clean or what need such clean hands to clasp about the rusty iron gates wherein I and all the world lay bound in chains and to pull them down to take our cankered bolts and knock them off to take us by the hand to help us up and lead us out Alas there needs no such eye face or hand for such a work It is powerful all-conquering strength that is here required It was a powerful victorious arm that here was needed and such a one he had But what should he do with a beauteous body that must be so abased and abused as his was an uncomely face will serve where it must be spit on What must he do with a fair soft delicate tender hand which must be pierced another kind of hand is good enough to knock a nail into And what needs his body be of a clear white thin transparent skin will not any serve that body that must be bruised and wounded as his was nay as it was necessary his should be But why thus necessary either he must be thus dealt with or else my sin cannot be pardoned Either he must be despised of men or I must be of God Oh he must drink up this bitter cup with all its dregs or else I must have drunk it up my self It was I that sinned and I must have suffered this cursed proud and earthly heart of mine rebelled and broke the Laws and should have suffered and born the punishment had not he stept in and born the stroke off from me I had been now burning in everlasting flames and have been lingering out this time in torment which I am now spending in the sweet thoughts of my escape And is not this all true speak out my soul hath not the Prophet said as much Surely saith he he hath born our griefs and carried our sorrows he was wounded for our transgressions he was bruised for our iniquities the chastisement of our peace lay upon him and by his stripes we are healed All we like sheep are gone astray we are every one turned to his own way and the Lord hath laid upon him the iniquities of us all He was oppressed he was afflicted yet he opened not his mouth he was brought as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before the shearers was dumb so he opened not his mouth He was taken from prison and judgment and who shall declare his generation for he was cut off from the land of the living And for the transgression of my people was he smitten Thou seest thy debt and thy Saviours payment of it these are no fictions thou hast just now read a sure word of Prophecy that hath confirmed it Those wounds those stripes those bruises which thou readest of he bore for thee and which were due to thee It was thou that shouldst have been led from prison to judgment from prison to the Judgment-seat of the great God who should have sat as Judg he should have arraigned thee sentenced thee and have sent thee to the slaughter-house of Hell where thou shouldst have been weeping and wailing and gnashing of thy teeth But Oh amazing love and grace the Son of God that loved me better than his life stept off his Throne and took my nature on him and became a man like to me only sin excepted he came and bid me comfort my trembling heart he would put himself in my condition and become the prisoner and if my sin would cost his life he would freely part with it Methinks I feel my bowels turn my spirits melt within me was ever love like to his love he was a stranger to me why did he not let me die It was his Father I did wrong why did he not let me suffer What if my punishment was as great as Hell surely I did deserve it What if my pains and screeches were eternal Ah! I was a creature a worm a fly a nothing to him and what need he have cared but he loved me and could he love a prisoner at the Bar I was a sinner a vile polluted one methinks he should have loathed me but he did wash thee and make thee clean again I but I was his Fathers enemy and so no friend to him or would he love an enemy or did he not know so much but how could that be when he saw my heart and the enmity that was in it yes he did and yet he loved thee even while we were enemies he died for us But why did he love an enemy or how could he do it I know not why it is past my reason to imagine it Oh inexpressible love Oh love past thought I cannot fathom thee with my reason thy ways are unaccountable he loves because he will love And though his love displeaseth us yet it pleaseth him to love us What ails my heart I cannot find it stir What dead under the reviving thoughts of thy dearest Redeemer I just now said he loved thee though an enemy and when thou lovedst not him I see the enmity is not quite remov'd thou canst not love him yet Arise shake up thy self and look about thee thou dost not sure see thy mercy surely thou understandest not what thou oughtest to understand Come away Oh come away lift up thy drowsie head I will make thee look and love while I set thee all on burning and make thee ere I leave thee confess thou lovest him Think think Oh my soul
that thou hadst just now sinned and broke that law which threatned death and upon the breach doth find thee guilty Think that thou sawest a flaming Cherubim a messenger of the Court of Heaven flirt in at that door and arrest thee for High treason and give thee a summons to rise from the seat thou sittest on to make a sudden answer for thy life Look then my soul Ah! I lookt just now I see that door wide open What 's this a spirit Ah me I am undone for I have sinned I think the room shakes under me or else 't is my heart that 's trembling What 's this I hear I must now answer for my life Oh what shall I say I know not what I have sinned my Conscience tells me that I have sinned the witness within will cast me I see the Inditement writ with blood on my heart the pride sensuality and the earthliness of which I am charged with I am not able to deny one tittle Oh for a mountain to cover me Oh whither shall I go whither shall I fly That Bed these Curtains this Closet cannot hide me My Mother Father Wife or Child cannot help me O who then shall I run whither I know not vengeance will find me out where ever I go Oh cursed and subtil Satan are all thy fair promises and inticements come to this O my wicked cursed foolish heart that ever I should believe him before my Creator that told me the day I sinned I should surely die Oh that for a little simple transient pleasure I should so madly hazard my eternal life and now I must be cast to Hell to bear the punishment of my folly Think once again think that this were the day and this the very place in which God should come and sit in Judgment on thee Methinks I see the Heavens bow themselves Oh what a crackling do I hear in the Clouds look yonder see who comes it is my Judg his countenance is as a flame of fire he utters his voice like Thunder the mountains skip or rather shake or rather tremble Now now is the time of my utter destruction near at hand Oh how shall I look him in the face his looks do already affright me I shall not say one word and I have not one friend that will say one word for me It 's true I see a terrible glorious Troop of Angels that do attend him but they are all his friends and therefore all my enemies I dare not speak a word to them and alas if I should they are all but his servants and fellow-creatures with my self alas they cannot yea they will not help me It 's true there is one that one that seems as one with God the beams of whose countenance are far brighter than all the Host of Heaven Besides if God have a Son it may be it is he methinks he is a mirrour of his Fathers Glory but this I know not be what he will he cannot pity me a sinner the doors of hope are all shut up and now as a miserable wretch I must prepare to hear my sentence the Judg is set and with trembling heart and joints I stand a prisoner at the bar for my life and now I must attend his call God speaks Sinner where art thou The Sinner answers Lord here am I. God speaks How darest thou thus abuse my Grace and kindle up my zeal against thee that now as stubble it will consume thee Is this the thanks that thou hast returned for all the love that I have shewed to thee Must I make a whole world and give it to thee and as if that was too little I bid thee freely take my self and all and would not this content thee Was I not as a father to thee the time thou lovedst me and didst obey me Did I not make thy seat a Paradise and strewed thy paths with pleasure Did I not rejoice over thee as a young man over his bride What evil hast thou found in me that thou shouldst thus rebelliously revolt and break my Laws and for a trifle sell my favour and hazard my eternal pleasures Speak sinner was it not so The Sinner answers My God these weeping eyes and bended knees confess so much God speaks Had I not told thee that sin would have cost thee thy life then thou hadst had some excuse have I said it and will the great God change Sinner thou must die I told thee so before and now I tell thee again the God of Heaven cannot lye Get thee gone thou cursed wretch into eternal flames and keep that Devil company in chains and torments with whom thou hast rebelled against me and go see what pleasure thou hast in sinning The Sinner answereth Thou great God and terrible Judg I do confess thy sentence just but if there be any bowels of mercy in thee pity me or I die for ever Mercy mercy Lord for I am thy creature the workmanship of thy hands If there be any thing in the trembling heart and hands and knees of this thy sentenced prisoner that will move compassion Oh pity pity a condemned sinner God speaks What! stays he longer to trouble my patience I say be gone thou cursed though thou art my creature know that my wrath hath kindled on better creatures than thou art get thee to Hell and the howling Devils will tell thee as much The Sinner speaks Ah wo wo wo to me for ever cursed I am and cursed must I go for ever My Righteous Judg and ye Glorious Angels adieu for ever Live live for ever blessed and happy in his love I might have lived and joyed and gloried in that God that made both ye and me but like a wretch that I am wo that ever I was born I sold his favour and so my eternal life for a thing of nought a vain lust a sinful pleasure that lasted but for a season and I go I go into eternal flames What says my heart to this Methinks the very thoughts of it do make my heart to quiver and my flesh to shake all round about me I feel no strength in all my joints God speaks So so I am glad something moves thee But think again that the Devil did take hold of thee and drag thee from the place thou sittest on to Hell suppose the Father frowning on thee and all the Angels shouting thee down to Hell and glorying in thy damnation but think again thou sawest when all were joying to see thee sentenced to Hell that he that sat just by the Judg whom thou thoughtest even now to be his Son but knewest it not Look look methinks I see him rise off his Throne see see how the Angels fall to adore him methinks he is a coming near thee Oh how my heart doth tremble Oh what will he torment me before my time Ah me my doom is great enough already Sinner speaks Thou wilt not send me to a worser place than Hell my Judg hath passed my
sentence thou canst not send me into worser than flames or punish me longer than everlastingly Christ answers Oh how my bowels turn this sinner knows not what is in my heart he thinks I am his enemy Sinner shake off thy fears and wipe thine eyes thou shalt not die The Sinner speaks again Oh thou glorious God or Angel or I know not what to call thee do not delude or deride a poor Caitiff wretch in the midst of misery Why wilt thou raise me to such a pinacle of hope to cast me down and make my fall the greater My Judg hath passed the sentence I must die and who can reverse the doom Ah! I must go see my prison-door wide open the smoke and flashes come to meet my despairing soul half way Christ speaks And now my heart begins to break my love can keep no longer in how causelesly doth this wretch torment his heart he knows not who I am I must reveal my self Sinner I love thee I say thou shalt not die Come feel my heart and pulses how they beat and tell how strong my love within doth act them Dost thou not see I have left my Throne and am come down to the Bar where thou standest condemned But why dost thou weep Come let me wipe thine eyes and bind up thy bleeding and despairing heart I tell thee thou shalt not die If Heaven will have blood it shall have mine so it will but spare thine Sinner if thou knewest who I am thou wouldst not doubt one tittle I tell thee I am his Son his only Son that but now condemned thee I know he is just and justice must be fatisfied But do not thou fear if one of us must die it shall be I I will pour out my blood a sacrifice for sin and appease his wrath and make you friends again Ye innumerable company of Angels yet servants at my Fathers will why do ye rejoice to see my prisoner sent to Hell this cursed soul over whom in glory you do now triumph I do resolve to die for and to buy her to my self a Spouse and to make her blessed with your selves and give her a Princess's place on a Throne that is by my self Sinner speaks Is this a dream or am I waking the goodness greatness glory of this sudden unexpected blessed change tempts me to doubt whether it be true or whether it be some unruly fancy that doth delude this wretched heart of mine What! for the Son of God to debase himself so low as to take my nature and so my cause and become the prisoner What! and though he knows he shall be cast Will he hear the sentence and quietly bear bolts and shackles and chains which should have fettered me Yet more than this Doth he know it is impossible to get a reprieve from his Father and Judg and that he must most assuredly drink the bitterest dregs of Death more bitter than Devils or damned souls in Hell as yet ever tasted of For it is impossible the Cup should pass And can he will he dare he venture But stay I must be a Spouse to be exalted from this Dunghil to be a Princess to the Son and Heir of Glory Hold hold here 's enough it is a Dream an idle fancy of a distempered brain I shall never find a heart to believe one syllable But yet methinks if it be a dream 't is a Golden one Is it possible that such a damned wretch as I could harbour such silken gilded thoughts of such love grace mercy and tenderness of the Son of God Oh my heart if they were not true how came they into my mind or how came they to stay or could they if but meer fictions make such a change in my heart Could they so victoriously conquer all my fear silence all my doubts allay the heats of a scorched and be helled Conscience But why a dream poor wretched heart Didst thou not see him step off his Throne Was it a time to dream or sleep in when thou wert before the Judgment-seat while God was frowning and the Devils dragging thee to and fro to get thee away to Hell Oh then just then he stept down drew near and took thee by the hand and spoke these reviving words to thee Doubt this and doubt thy judgment But why a dream I am not now in Hells torments whither I was just now sentenced My heart is now at ease and quiet surely something must be the reason why the Devil that but now had hold of me hath left me Where is the Conscience that but now was burning in me But Oh cannot the presence of the Lord put me out of doubt Do not his words that were so kind his tender dealing with me doth not his stooping to me taking me by the arm and the gentle lifts that he gives to my drooping soul speak him present Oh! do not my head eyes arms heart breast and the ease of every joint and limb about me witness the same A way my unbelieving heart what a stir is here to make thee believe a thing so evident Doubt my mind and freely doubt I'â—e give thee leave when thou hast any occasion or reason for it But why should I doubt that which is past all doubt May I not believe my senses I both saw and heard him speak the words or shall I misdoubt his faithfulness I know he is the Son of God he cannot lye But is it true yet my God I pray thee be not angry with my scrupulous heart thou seest in tears I make the doubt let it be an argument to me of sincerity I do not ask that question as one that would be fain perswaded it's true Canst thou think my Lord that I would not be reconciled and cheerfully accept of Grace when thou so freely offerest it Oh but Lord speak these words to my heart which thou hast already spoke to my ear and thou wilt melt it into love and thankfulness and I shall never doubt it more Object But yet but what can Heaven love so much Answ Thou silly worm how idly dost thou question must Heaven and so its love be bound up to so narrow and contracted thoughts as thine are What can God love no more than thou canst Love is a perfection and God is infinitely perfect so must be infinitely and incomprehensively loving Thou fool go found the Sea and tell me its greatest depths give me the height of yonder Stars this possibly thou maist do for the Seas are not so deep but they have a bottom nor the Stars so high but they may by art be known But Oh the heights and depths and breadths and lengths of the love of our Redeemer He is God and his breasts are so full of love that they flow and overflow with love they have no bottom Do but try my soul cast thy self into this bottomless lovely Ocean into this endless Bosom and when thou hast been sinking millions of millions of years tell me whither
you come to ground Ye glorious Angels and ye blessed spirits of just men made perfect that live above you that have been wading downward these five thousands of years do ye feel a bottom or are ye near one Away away my foolish heart if this be all thou hast to plead he may redeem thee and take thee for his Spouse and betroth thee to himself notwithstanding all this Object But Oh this filthy loath some fleshly self this base unthankeful earthly heart that can prefer a dunghill dross and dirt before him that can freely lay out his love to a creature like my self But Oh how hard and stiff and unrelenting am I to my God But Oh he will slight me because I have often put him off and slighted him he cannot love and die for such a one as I am Answ Cease fool thy reasonings he cannot love an enemy because thou canst not he cannot die because thy cowardly heart will not suffer thee Why should he fear the grave that had power over it And what though thou art unworthy of his love if he will have thee and make thee worthy Thy heart is base and what of that if he will mend it thy filthy rotten and polluted soul he intends to wash and cleanse it till it is without spot and wrinkle or any such thing Thy stubborn proud earthly and lustful heart he can make humble tender soft and yielding And when he hath made thee as he would why may not he take thee to himself and lay thee next his heart and delight over thee everlastingly Object But will his Father yield to this I am too poor a match for the Son and heir of all things But will he can he suffer his Son to die to buy such a beggarly thing to himself as I am Answ Away these silly simple childish thoughts how like an inhabitant of this earthly sensual world dost thou reason thou wilt not under-match and therefore will not God his Son Thou fool thou wilt not because thou canst find another equal But dost thou not know that God can find none equal to his Son he must stoop or else go without It 's true he might have gone without but what if he would not why should not Heaven have its will as well as thou Thou hast no dowry and he doth need none and yet thou arguest as if Heaven would make traffick with his Son and his love as we filly worms do here but we are beggars and so are Angels and all the glorious Hosts above they are his Creatures hang and depend upon him and cannot subsist one moment happy without supplies and helps of his Grace and why may he not bring a beggarly man as near to himself as a beggarly Angel if so it pleaseth him Object But doth it so please him Answ How often have I told thee it doth please him and hast thou not believed Come if thy hearing will not satisfie let thy seeing do it Look if thou hast eyes Come tell me doth not Heaven look as though it was pleased with the offer of his Son What cloud or darkness dost thou see about the Throne what sign or token of displeasure canst thou at all discover Open thine eyes view the God of Glory Do his looks bespeak him to be thy Father or thy Judg And canst thou not read both Husband Father and Lord and all in his countenance What not see it surely thou art blind If he had not told as much from his own mouth his eyes and looks bespeak his love and favour loud and clear enough to thee But doth he not tell thee to put thee out of all doubt this is my well beloved Son hear him hear him what 's that believe him whatsoever he says why what saith he O dull and stupid heart hast thou forgot already He said he will pay his life for thine and doth not his Father bid thee hear him He said he would reconcile thee love thee and make thee friends again And is it not comfort when the Father bids thee believe him he said he will pardon wash and cleanse thee and take thee to himself and betroth thee to him for ever and after all will give thee to see his Glory even the same Glory which he had before the world And the Father is willing to all this for he tells thee his Son is his well-beloved Son and bids thee believe him and misdoubt not one syllable And canst thou after all this doubt that the Father is not willing But do not his Angels likewise who are ministring spirits with voice and looks proclaim as much that Heaven is well pleased with the Son and with his Death and Passion and so with thee in him Do not the Angels admire the mystery of Redeeming Grace that makes them so desirous to peep into it Why did they proclaim his coming into the world and sing for joy that there was good-will in Heaven to men on earth or why do they so diligently attend thee by night and by day Thou seest them not keep guard about thy Chamber-door and round about the curtains of thy bed Why do they attend thee from room to room and follow thee down stairs and out of doors if it were not but that thou art some great Princess nearly allied to their Lord and Master Thou dost not see this blame then thine eyes and the infidelity of thy heart shall it be less true because thy base infidelity cannot digest it Thou might doubt God Heaven and every thing else on that score but hast thou not it from his own mouth that the Angels are ministring spirits for the heirs of glory Come tell me I say tell me quickly I must have an answer Can this and all this be true and Heaven yet not be pleased If God with his Son and Angels be all content that thou shouldst be restored and so exalted to such dignities as to be heir unto the Crown of Heaven if these be pleased who is there in Heaven that can else be displeased What saith my heart what not yet one word Oh how long shall I be troubled and pestered with thy unbelief Oh my God strike chide and break this flint reprove this stubborn and unbelieving heart I cannot perswade it that thou lovest me or art willing to love me I urge thy word and my best reason to prove it but I cannot make it yield Oh break I pray thee this Flint or Adamant upon thy downy breast of love strike and one blow of thine will make it fall in pieces and confess at length that thou art well pleased with thy Son and fully satisfied that he should bleed and die for me But let me try thee once again if thou hast lost thine ears and eyes I 'le see if thou hast lost thy feeling too Thou sayest thou canst not believe that God is willing to accept the Son for thee or that thou so vile a wretch canst be accepted of by the Father
thee Friend how camest thou hither not having on thy Wedding-garment He sees thy heart and sees thou hast it on Oh he comes and it is but to whisper thee a welcome in thine ear it is but to fall about thy neck and kiss thy be-tear'd cheeks and bid thee a kind welcome to thy bleeding Lord. Soul Oh did I think to be thus much made of I thought he would not have minded me but I did no sooner appear and set my feet within the doors but he ran to meet me he took me in his arms he brought me hither and set me here Is this a house or is it a Palace Is this a Court for Princes or for Angels Never did place more ravish me into amazement than this place Beautiful are thy gates O Zion O how pleasant is the habitation of the most high Is it the place or the company that strikes me into astonishment Now I can say most feelingly say with David My delights are with the Saints of the most high and the most excellent of the earth Their poverty their disgrace their contempt amongst whom they live do not puzzle my quick-ey'd Faith these are the Kings Daughters that are all glorious within their garments are of needle-work imbroidered over with pure gold fine-spun gold These O these hovv poor and mean soever they are or may seem to be these shall sit vvith Christ to judg the World Oh! hovv my foul is ravished vvith delight to see and look on those with whom I shall live for ever If they are so lovely now what will they be hereafter when our God shall take them and scowr off their rust and wash their Garments bright in the Sun-shine of his countenance and change those mortal and corruptible bodies into immortal and glorious ones and set them upon Thrones about himself and lade their heads with Crowns of massy gold and when I shall hear them warbling out the everlasting Praises of the Lamb whose Body and Blood we all sit down to feed on Communion-Plate Never was Gold or Silver graced thus before To bring this Body and this Blood to us is more than to Crown Kings or be made Rings For Star-like Diamonds to glitter in The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat 't is the sweetest dainties dearst morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord. Welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own heart can wish Take eat this morsel it cost my life it 's a portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his love to thee He bids thee remember a Fathers love I a Saviours He hath a heart to give thee and so have I. Take this in earnest of them both in one Take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have asked thee for thy Wedding-garment knew I not thy heart or if I were uncertain of thy love I would have scorn'd thee as unworthy of my presence did I know thou lovest any thing above me I would have hid my face and never have spoke thee a welcome so feelingly and kindly to thy soul Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost and above Father or Mother Wife or Child Lands or Living or Credit I know thou dost And wilt thou not take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I see and know the labour of thy love I remember the pains and travel of thy soul I saw thee follow me on thy knees in tears and begged my life rather than thy life I know thy heart I saw it bleeding before my Throne I took it in my arms and bound it up and in that breast I remember I put it up again I saw thee when no eye saw thee I heard thee and had compassion on thy groanings whilst thou wert complaining that I had shut out thy prayers I well remember since thy heart did first fall sick with love since the time thy flesh began to die and since thou laidst thy self in the grave down by me and wert willing to die to all this vain empty glory of the world because I died and left it I know thee well enough Thou art mine and I am thine Take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and whilst thou feedest remember the love of thy dearest Redeemer Soul Oh 't is the sweetest meat that ever tongue did tast it sends a rellish to my very heart I find it digests as it deseends I feel my nerves and sinews strengthen I never knew that bread was the staff of life till now Oh how fit is my soul now for Christ How easie do I now find his yoke how light his burden Methinks I could watch or pray or read more earnestly resolvedly believingly than ever Oh! methinks I can take his Cross and bear it strongly and take the shame and despise it fully Oh 't is a feast of fat things The richest banquet of love that ever I was at it was but a little that I took and it fills me full my hungry stomack now crys 't is enough I find it now verified to my soul and spirit that he that eats of this bread shall never hunger more Well I need not starve when there is such bread in my Fathers house I need not I will not I cannot feed any longer on husks with the swine of the world I fed on air and smoak before I never tasted substantial bread till I tasted of this This is the staff of my life and upon this will I support my self to my very grave The Wine Christ Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledg me I have broached my side and drew it on purpose for thee This is a Wine of mine own making when I trod the Winepress of my Fathers wrath It is my blood but take and drink it it was the cause of my wounding but to thy soul it shall prove healing I died and bled it was but to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-cellar and my Banner over thee shall be love Fear not take and drink thou hast an ulcer in thy heart and this shall cure it spots and stains of guilt on thy soul and this shall purge them away thy spirits are faint this shall revive thee thou art afraid to see thy Fathers face this shall make thee to draw near the Throne of Grace with boldness Drink I charge thee drink on thy love and loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy heart to mend thy wounds to cure thy spirits to revive thy fears to scatter thy soul to love and obey me take O take this cup into thy hand taste it and praise my love Soul Lord I have taken I have drunk as thou hast bid me I neither could or dare deny thee Can I refuse thy blood when I have accepted thy self Or can I accept my pardon at thy hands and
him thither as a mourner Shall it be said of the Prince of glory that he died and had the burial of an ass because there was none to sorrow forth those words of Ah my Lord What! shall it be granted to a Wife to mourn for the death of a beloved Husband and to a Child at the burial of a beloved Father Shall not such be blamed but rather pitied And shall their friends come in and confess the loss and the ground of their sorrow just and rather sit them down and bear them company in their grief And must I of all be thus censur'd Away with an Husband Wife or Child to me Is he not more to me than ten Husbands Might I not have had an hundred that would have never done half so much for me as he hath done That first left his glory for my sake and then laid down his life and took the stroke upon himself that I my self deserved and all because he lov'd me Was ever friend like this friend and ever love like this love Many waters cannot quench love but neither waters blood death nor many deaths could quench his love to me But shall he love and die in love and thus be forc'd to leave me because he lov'd me and I not mourn the absence of my best Beloved How unreasonably may any this deny me But ah what a bitter-worded check did I even now receive as if my sorrow would arise from the envying of his now glorious state and not from any love I bear him Oh! what needle-pointed words are those methinks they have pierc'd mine heart in every part and from each prick hath started forth a drop that hath set it o're with a bloody dew But how can it once be thought that envy should get a room in an heart that 's full of love with which it swells it bubbles up and runs all over it cannot be Bear witness heavens I do not grieve that you contain him but that I on earth have lost him Oh my God! I am not sorry that thy Son hath past his sufferings and is arriv'd to rest and got again into thy bosom his ancient nest of love and pleasure Oh you blessed Orders of Seraphims and Cherubims and you innumerable company of the spirits of the just men made perfect I do not envy that you have my Lord with you that you see his face and live and walk and joy in the light of his countenance Alas we your poor Brethren could not make him so welcome here on earth as you can there we lov'd him as sincerely as you and believ'd in him and took delight too in him but yet nothing near so much as you You know him better than we do for you know him as you are known and therefore know better how to prize him We know him but in part and the value price and love could but be in the like proportion He is therefore far much better there than here and how shall I then either envy him or you And what my soul should I wish him back again what if I thought I could prize and love him more and could promise the like for all his beloved disciples I could not alike engage for the wicked envious malicious unbelieving world I could not promise he should meet with no other Herod to seek his life or that the hard-hearted Jews would give him better entertainment whom they dare yet curse with the name of Conjurer though Moses and their Prophets bore witness to him and though they received a seal from Heaven in voices thunders signs and an innumerable company of real Miracles Oh no! my Lord though I could wish to fee thy face again on earth yet not in such a state of misery in the midst of a den of Bears and Lions as not long since thou wast Ah! thou knowest I took no delight to hear that traiterous news of thine own Apostle that had betray'd thee and that it fill'd mine heart with anguish to hear how shamefully and scornfully thou wast abused Thou sawest me blush when I heard thy face was spit on my head did ake when thine was crowned with thorns Anguish and indignation did loose my nerves and with a palsie shook mine hands when thine had a mock-Scepter put into them a reed and a scoff Hail Jesus King of the Jews And did not mine heart break and bleed to hear that thine was pierced Ah my Lord and shall I yet find an heart to wish thee here again No no I am glad thou hast escap'd their bloody hands and now got quite without their reach I am glad thou hast got to perfect ease and rest and know'st no pains nor griefs nor sorrows Oh! take a full possession of thy Fathers breast and sit thee down upon his Throne Thou art a King for ever And take delight in these thy soul-did travel die and bleed for on earth I will repine at nothing that shall advance thy glory But Oh! thou cruel bloody unbelieving world you wicked murtherous bloody Jews though I rejoice my Lord is safe arrived home and quietly landed within his haven yet from you I cannot hold mine anger that made his Sea a Sea of blood and drain'd his heart to make it deep and fill'd his sails with sighs and groans that caus'd his voyage to be so doleful What good got you to stand and laugh to see him sorrowful to scoff and jeer to hear his lamentations what cursed rage was that to make such hast to fetch him vinegar and gall to prolong his life to lengthen out his dolors How could you find such barbarous hearts to triumph over a bleeding dying lamb that was so innocent How could you taunt at him when you heard him praying for you Father forgive them and so tenderly excusing you for they know not what they do Methinks that kindly harmless carriage should have pierced your hearts those melting words should have dissolv'd them and instead of piercing him I should have thought you pierced And ah but that I know an unbelieving heart my self and understand what hardness means I should stand and wonder Oh! it 's too hard an Adamant for downy words and doleful sounds and tender carriages to break and shatter How often have I outstood all those my self And when I served my flesh how little did I mind them And when they have been presented to me in the Gospel or in a Sermon told that all these tortures he endur'd for me and I in part believed it too yet was I not as a man bereft of my senses and I was no more mov'd in mine heart as if I had not heard or understood and were quite bereav'd of sense and reason But had I thus continued in my senseless unbelieving state and as I liv'd so died yet how deservedly should I have born the wrath of God and have been sent to Hell as a recompence of mine unbelief And yet you careless secure Jews can you think to escape when
a deformed one but a Virgin without wrinkle without spot when the Church is sanctified by the Spirit of Christ and nothing in your hearts but love fear and holiness then you have this beauty that is without spot or wrinkle sin does sully the soul but grace taketh away spots and wrinkles Likewise 2. The Church is compared to a Woman for her affection their affections ordinarily are more strong 'T is said of Jonathan his love did exceed the love of women The Holy Ghost compareth the Church to a Woman to signifie that all the members of Christ have a very ardent love and affection to Christ No love so strong as the love of a Saint to Christ and therefore 't is said That many waters cannot quench it There are few will be beggered for the sake of another or banished or hanged upon a Gallows for the sake of another burnt at a stake for anothers sake and yet the love of a Saint maketh nothing of all this it rejoiceth to see its goods spoil'd for Christ to think it self worthy to be whipt for Christ to go up a ladder and to be thrown down with a rope about its neck for Christ Water cannot quench a Saints love neither can fire hinder a Saint from Christ neither things present or things to come can sepaparate from Christ You would all be of this Church pray look that you have affections suitable for Christ You may have a time to try your affections if you want affections you are none of this Woman 3. The Church is compared to a Woman for her fruitfulness the Church of Christ is a fruitful Church that is the society of the Lord Jesus do bring forth daily children to God and as like the Father as they can look The Church does meet together to preach the Gospel and to pray and praise God together and God does so bless them with the Ordinances that they do convert sinners unto God they bring souls that were aliens in their mind they bring them to acquaintance with God The Church is always travelling and bringing forth and God does bless her to bring Sons and Daughters to himself and when they are born they are like Christ patient as Christ was patient meek as he was meek humble as he was humble and heavenly as he was heavenly Whoever pretend to be a Son or Daughter of this Woman and do not bear the Image of the Lord Jesus Christ they are bastards Barrenness under the Law 't was counted a very great curse So take this note to find out the Church of Christ upon earth and in England look upon the several societies professing the name of Christ see which look the most like him have they affections to Christ is there a beauty in their lives are they barren do they convert sinners to them Some cry with a loud voice The Temple of the Lord are we but I pray see if they are fruitful Are they travelling and bringing forth and have they Sons and Daughters brought forth daily to them or little conversion among them they are not fruitful they have not Sons and Daughters born to Jesus Christ and by that you may know where to find Christs Church Lastly The Church is compared to a Woman because of her weakness the Woman is the weaker sex she is not made for fighting but in case of danger for flying for this is the nature of the Church it is not of a domineering boisterous spirit but a womanly spirit modest humble and meek Where you see a people pretend to be this Woman pouring out malice and wrath a domineering people are they like this Woman that flyeth in time of danger but not from Christ vers 3. And there appeared another great wonder in Heaven behold a great red Dragon and that 's the Devil and the Dragon stood before the woman to devour her child as soon as it was born But what was the end did she fight no there were Angels stood to contend for her she took up no arms thought not upon fighting but presently the Angel rescued her vers 7. And there was war in Heaven Michael and his Angels fought against the Dragon and the Dragon and his Angels fought and prevailed not That is the host of Angels did contend with the Devil and his Angels and would not permit him to destroy her and she fled into the Wilderness vers 6. And she fled into the wilderness where she hath a place prepared of God that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days She fled into a Wilderness but in a secure state she was secur'd in her Wilderness and God lookt after her and we are in this thousand two hundred threescore days She is a weak Church but strong in Christ and if so my brethren though you be weak and meek as a sheep and compared to a Woman the weaker sex yet notwithstanding fear not for I cannot stand to speak of all the things in this Chapter Great wings were given her to fly with the whole earth stept out to help her and swallowed up the flood which the Dragon cast out of his mouth and the Angels helped her Well now let us come to the attire I have shewn you the reasons why she is compared to a Woman and we will begin at her head and so come down to her foot On her head a Crown of twelve Sâ—arâ— and her body was clothed with the Sun and under her foot the Moon What was this Crown of twelve Stars if you do but mark the H. Ghost through this book of the Revelations you will find him take a great deal of pleasure in this number twelve and he does always use it when he speaketh of the true Church the new Jerusalem it had twelve Gates and the Tree of life in the midst of this new Jerusalem this Tree of Life bore twelve sorts of fruits this you have in the last Chapter And in the midst of the streets of it and of either side of the river was there the tree of life which bare twelve manner of fruits and yielded her fruit every month and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the Nations Why twelve Gates for the City and twelve fruits upon the tree and twelve Stars upon the Crown of this Church what is the meaning of this I will tell you what it is You know Jesus Christ when he went about to gather this Church out of the world he did chuse twelve men that were his Apostles and these twelve men he did acquaint with the whole mystery of the Gospel all the things that he would have them teach the world he gave them in commandment and they were to be under him the Fathers to beget this Church And Christ calleth them lights Ye are the lights of the world because they were to deliver forth this Doctrine of the Gospel this light from Heaven these truths that lead men like tapers through this dark Dungeon
good night What must be suffer'd why is' t fear'd I can't my life defend Fear or not fear it 's all a case My life must have an end Death comes why let it why should I Plead priviledg from what My God hath pointed out for all It must be then my lot He lent me to my self a while My lent-out life recalls What is his own he may demand He wrongs me not at all Why should I tremble at the grave Alas it is not Hell Why should not I thank God and die That it 's not worse it 's well Art thou new-born then thou hast felt The pains of death to lust They 'r greater than those thou wilt feel Which brings thee to the dust To leave a sin to wicked men Doth far more torment bring Than shame than beggery or death Or any other thing Think how the wicked go to hell How careless do they die Shalt thou less fear it than they do Though thou must fore on high Think that thy grave were but thy bed That God thee there did keep That when that dying thou wert but A falling fast asleep Think what a quiet undisturb'd Repose thou there shalt take That God when thou hast slept enough Himself will thee awake Think that thy Lord and Saviour In this cold bed did lie Wilt thou not with him lay thy self What love him and deny Think that a thousand thousand Saints Have hither crept for rest Have long'd and hop'd to be dissolv'd All counting it the best Think what 's this world that thou must leave It is not Paradise A hell of torment sin shame grief A cinque of filthy vice Where lust and pride do sit and reign Grace goodness subjects are If thou art good thou maist go pack That 's all the world doth care How often their ungodly lives Have vext thy soul but think Their selling Heaven for a lust For dross a cup of drink It 's true thou maist them contradict But what get'st thou by that They curse thee wish thee in some pit Where thou maist lye and rot Thou say'st there 's good as well as bad That thou must leave behind If good men make thee will to stay Above thou'lt better find The best on earth are bitter-sweet Weaknesses have their stings They can thee hurt and will sometimes Till God to Heaven them brings Thou say'st if God the shepherd smite The sheep will scatter'd be If they were safe it matters not What did become of thee Thou fool God will them bless or curse If curse thou must not live But if for them he blessings hath Better than thee he 'l give I come then Oh ye Heavenly host Of Angels take me up I 've broke my fast with grace on earth With you above I 'le sup I come my Father and my God! Now to thy self me take Through my Lords wounds I hope for love Oh love me for his sake HYMN XI Comfortable at the death of a dear friend DRY up thy eyes and let thy looks Again seem fair and clear Let not those briny staining streams Thy blubber'd cheeks besmear Who knows not man was made to die Can tears blur the decree Or spunge it out those Heavenly rowls What God wills that must be Was he not made of dust that 's dead Can dust for ever last What wonder is it then to see That dust on dust is cast Hath not the wisest God all things Made subject unto change Why should he thee or thine except Is not thy folly strange Why his departure thus bemoan'd He paid but nature's score He me not leaves I follow him He 's only rid before It 's God commanded him away 'T was he that gave him thee Is it not reason more than thou the Giver pleased be Thou say'st no sorrows like to mine None e're lost such a friend How many thousands say the like Complaints will ne'r have end Nay think how far others in grief Have cause thee to exceed Thou ' st lost a friend but they a child Thou weep'st but they do bleed Is thine a child their is a wife Or else some dead husband But if this last be thine own case Think his is worse that 's damn'd Look round and view that num'rous heap Of houses that do stand Tell me the house that hath not mourn'd By strokes giv'n by deaths hand Go round about the Royal Tombs Number the Queens and Kings How oft have Palaces worn Black By wounds made by Deaths stings Or think how many mourners thou hast cheered up before Let the same reasons on thee move That thy heart grieve no more Or think of him as ne'r been born Or born not known to thee He might have di'd a thousand times 'T would ne'r have troubled thee But did thy life and livelihood On him alone depend For shame do not forget thy God Who meat to Ravens sends But ah alas he lov'd me more Than all the world beside Ah! take thou care in saying so Thy God he be'nt be-li'd But Oh the friend of my bosom He cannot be forgot But fool didst think he could not die What did thy mind besot Play not the child my grown-up soul Many spectators gaze At thy-high spirit under grief Soul-weakness will amaze Think thy employment calls aloud To lay aside complaints Think that thy Friends thy Country Church Cry to thee as in wants Or else look up unto thy God In whom contentment lyes His heating brightness will dry up All tears from out thine eyes If all the reasons I have us'd Will nothing move thy heart Then take thy course I only wish Thy cure be wrought by smart HYMN XII Of Thanksgiving for the restoration of Health ' THE God of Heav'n is but one To him alone I pray To him in straits I made my vows Which now in health I 'le pay My God is light life help hearts ease Physician Nurse and Friend Himself was the best Physick I Could take to make me mend For sin me weakness did confine Within my Chamber-walls In prison as with Iron-bolts My limbs were sore with gauls My bones were all as out of joint My sinews lax and loose Each member was so feebly hung As if 't had lost its use All elements did seem to strive To raise my misery They would have surely me orewhelm'd But that my God was by My trembling skin my chattering teeth The shiverings of my bones My shoulders shrugging up with cold Thus sadly made their moans As if all hail and snow and rain Their coldnesses had lent To some night-stormy blustring winds My body to torment I was like weary pilgrim that All night in forest lies While rain and snow and chilling winds Do pinch him till he dies But my good God! those nipping blasts Screen'd off me with his palm He sweetly rockt me fast asleep So they did me no harm The freezing air now thaw'd I thought Me safe but was deceiv'd For straight a watry vapour rose As much my body griev'd Each
i' nt that I Do fear thou canst not save Nothing can hinder if thou please Nor Devil Hell nor Grave Nor do I doubt but 't is thy will To save some such as I For as vile wretches as I am Thy Son did freely die In the deep Seas of thy rich love Blaspheming Paul did swim He though thy Saints he sought to kill Yet thou didst pardon him The Harlot Mary Magdalen Who deeply ran on score Who did ten thousand talents owe Yet that debt-bond was tore A swearing cursing Peter thou Didst to thy mercy take That Son whom he did fear to own Thou pardon'st for his sake This makes me confident my God That Heav'n may be my place If thou would'st please to grant to me Maries or Peters Grace Give me O God to go aside And in some corner creep That there with Peter bitterly In dolors I may weep Give me but sinful Maries love Love shall my ointment be Which I upon my Lords feet will Pour out as well as she But ah my God! this is my fear Their faith and love I want My carnal proud and sensual heart Speaks me no penitent This only Lord I have to plead Those lusts my heart doth hate I long I wish to be set free From this sad sinful state Sure Lord I am no enemy To holiness within Thou seest my soul contend and strive To beat down every sin When that perchance my foot doth slip And thee I do offend Doth not my sin make me to mourn And don 't I strive to mend Had not I faith why should I fear The threatenings of thy Law Why should I dread thy Majesty And of thee stand in awe Had I not faith why should I long Thy face above to see Why should I praying sue so hard To get my liberty Did not I love thee why should I My loved self forsake Why should I loath my loved sins For thy beloved's sake Did I not love why don 't the shell Of duties me suffice In Sacraments and pray'rs why do I thus thy presence prize Did I dissemble to be seen Of men why doth my sin Which none knows but my self alone Me trouble that 's within Did I dissemble then my tears My sighs in company Would more be heard and seen then when My God alone stands by It 's true I love thee not enough Nor is my faith so strong But that with grief I do confess Thy faithfulness I wrong But Lord remember I 'm but dust In weakness here I live That little which I have thou gav'st The rest above shalt give Did not those Stars that now do shine With thee in Heav'n above While living on the earth complain Of want of faith and love Nay Lord do not I read that thou The hungry soul didst bless And it that thirsts for righteousness Such am I I confess But Lord remember he that thirsts And hungry is for grace He some degree of grace must want And I am in that case If he is blessed why not I My hung'rings thou dost see If thou hast said he shall be full Why sha'nt that word reach me I sin I sin but thou hast place't The righteous Christ on high To advocate and plead his cause That at his feet doth lye Lord there a sinner I do lye Thy promise I will trust For pardon and for love will hope Till I fall to the dust The Welcome I. WElcome my child on high Heaven joys to see thee here Be not afraid it is thy Fathers house And thy Saviour bought it dear It was for this he bled And his soul ' n offering did make When my Son thou didst accept this Jointure he thee made Now possess it for his sake Whyart thou asham'd come behold me behold me I have forgot thy sin And made thee clean within Now thou' rt arrived here above Of nought think but of love I shall ne're be angry with thee agen II. My servants that attend Put on his best attire Set a Crown on his brow in brightness that out-shines The clearest flames of fire Spread out that cloth of Gold His foot-cloth it must be If you have him drest come bring him set him here He must keep me company Have you done if you have bid him welcome bid him welcome He was our friend on earth And royal in his birth For whilest he lived I saw he Forsook all to love me And did truly serve me to his his death III. A child a bride a wife Ragg'd and adorn'd so soon From the Dungeon to the Throne how quickly am I rais'd And my midnight turn'd to noon Even now on my death-bed I sigh'd I sob'd I groan'd I weeping cri'd my God hath me forgot And by all my friends was moan'd What they think now on earth I do not know I do not know Nor for't do I much care What a weeping though they are Of little do they think I Do possess such glory That I 'm made so much-of here above IV. This is Jerusalem Pav'd o're with slates of Gold Her rows of houses like to towers stand It 's more stately than was told Here 's not a street but 's strow'd With flowers of Paradise Not a step that I tread but such sweetnesses I pownd More rich than Arabian spice Walls that her inclose are far brighter far brighter Than th' oriental flame Or a thing that wants a name Her sparkling gates are well known To be made up of such stone That the richest Diamonds doth excel V. Blest shades that here do dwell These mansions that possess I never till now a place or people saw That the God of Heaven doth bless Here 's not a look speaks care No sign of tear or grief Not a sigh or a groan through all the streets I hear Nor a beggar that wants relief All yet that I 've met are like Angels like Angels In clearness they surpass A Star or chrystal-glass Whose unsoil'd beauty doth seem To out-vye a Sun-beam Far Oh far more splendid than all these VI. Their locks like curls of light Their Lilly-necks hang o're Bedeckt with Ribbonds richer than of Gold I ne're saw such before Sweetness of spirit blooms And blossoms all the week In smiles of joy and love that do adorn In their flowrings on each cheek In mantles as white as the fair Moon the fair Moon They walk about each street And embrace all that they meet I never saw friends so love As they do here above Oh! I could lie at any of their feet VII I am where I would be In the City of my King This is the place I have desir'd to see And to hear the cherubs sing What lofty strains are these I ne're heard voice so lavish Not a note that I hear but melts me into joy And my heart doth in me ravish In the close when they shout Hallelujah Hallelujah Glory to God on high And the Lamb that below did die There 's warmth methinks in these names That melts me into