to God and oh how Glorious an Hope is that to pertake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be sollicitous anxious and disquieted about Honor and money and a Tempora Interest and mightily concerned about the momentany gratifications of the Flesh and the Injoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling home to the Heavenly Country and yet Eager and passionate about Earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such kitchin such common Fire and neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and Immortal Honors of the other Life and the dawnings of that Glory upon my soul by the foretasts of it in this Should I not live as seeking such things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent thoughts sleepy heartless prayers faint and weak indeavors becoming in such a case Shall I not mend my pace and double my diligence in my preparatory work When I can believingly foresee the Blessed Recompence Wayting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousnes which no Ecclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his image rest in his love and dwell for ever in the light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate sufferings we are now oftentimes in heaviness and sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our troubles for Everlasting Rest our prisons for perfect liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God darkness for Light discord for love deformity for beauty our weaknesses and present languishings for strength and vigor folly for wisdom disgrace for Glory sickness and paine for Eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life imperfection and pollution for consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and complaints for triumphant Everlasting Praise our losses affronts disapointments perplexities fears groans and Death for crowns and scepters hymns and Hallelujahs light and life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too Great to be now particularly understood and talk't of while we know but in part and see thro a glass darkly yea it seems as if it were not lawfull to utter'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they can not be exprest or fully known for Eye hath not seen or ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73 Psalm 27. Whom have I in Heaven but thee and there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth o Lord but Thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in there is nothing in either world desireable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust On Thee I depend In Thee I repose my confidence and hope From thee I expect all my felicity and Salvation What ever I can lose yet with the continuance of thy Favor which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rich and without it I am poor and miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth can give besides will not make my Happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my affections all my devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy favor image and love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my all sufficient satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None els can be the Portion of my soul Nothing els can fill up all its wants answer all its cravings be suited to all its capacities appease and charm all its restless motions and give complacence to all its Desires and be the proper object of all its Affections What is there els can justly claime my Love or pretend to my supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper center of it Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just debt as a peice of Homage due from All and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love thee above all Things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my desires to set all the Powers of my soul on work O that it might take the full possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul Loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great command of loving thee with all our hearts and souls and strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this delightfull exercise tho I have so oft been told that God is Love and that he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy love into my Soul that I may feel the vital power and influence of it and live continually in the love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures then they can or will perform but God can do for me more abundantly then I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts outstrip my highest expectations And no man was ever disapointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with crosses and wrongs unfaithfulness contempt hatred and persecution from men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction my Faith and my desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and disapointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there o Lord in Heaven or in Earth my soul can desire besides Thee is there any thing desireable but as it is thine of thee and from thee and bears some impression of thine Excellence or brings some intimation of thy Love and what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou
What inexpressible sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls we might listen as it were to the shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Palms of victory in their hands a Crown of Glory on their heads and songs of Triumph in their mouths saying Allelujah Worthy art Thou o Lord Rev. 4. c. 11.5 c. 12.13 to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast Created all Things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slaine to receive Power and Riches and wisdom and strength and honour and glory and Blessing And againe Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it o my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can hear and read and think and speak of these great Things with no more ardent affections suitable preparations importunate prayers and vigorous desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly mindedness self-denial contempt of the world patience and perseverance quicken my zeal secure my stedfastness and give life and spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it how should my soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and desire ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breath after more of his presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer discoveries of his Love and fuller communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a mans Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some direction and advice concerning the Time and manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for ETERNITY I Am hastening every year every day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering wither I must goe and how I shall fare when I quit this Body what is like to be my next Habitation to which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite Hereafter do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found or am I content to dye thro an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more then possible 't is easy to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the light of the Gospel who never suspected their danger how ordinary how common a thing is it for men to be thus deceived how successfull is the Devill in this Stratagem against the Souls of men Is it not then a most criminal stupidity to be contentedly Ignorant and unresolved Wither I am reconciled to God or no Wither I am led by the Flesh or the Spirit wither I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary Ends that is wither if I dye in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an Inquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible and my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my soul till I am leaving this world the unfittest Time of all to begin so important an affaire what am I to whom do I belong whose Image do I bear how have I liv'd what do I doe what do I love most what do I most constantly desire and choose and seek how doth the Pulse of my soul beat is it quickest towards God or towards the world wither am I goeing what will be final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by Dyeing what Security have I got for Eternal Life what provisions have I made what foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and that seldom or never bethink themselvs in good earnest and for any Time with a setled composed exercize of Thoughts Which of these Two is like to be their Lot. Or If they begin to search and try themselvs they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluk off the plaister assoon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or haveing escap't the grosser Pollutions of the world judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the work but by halves and so goe from the glass and forget what manner of persons they were Let me therfore o my Soul Sequester my self from the world to commune with my own heart to reflect upon my past Life and look in to my present strate to recollect and review the most considerable passages of my course and Time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practise is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most Serious concern about it and how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the End of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this world in their Generation then the Children of Light who is so Exact in his accounts between God and his own Soul as Trades-men in their dealings with one another who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State who doth at set times once a moneth or once a Quarter or even once a year take a just view of him self his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know wither he thrive or decay wither be increase or decrease wither he goe backward or forward wither he be Richer or Poorer this year then the last And is it not a symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of Jealousie and Suspicion that you are behind hand because you are loath to inquire whither you are or no and unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without Such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a determination at what uncertainties must we live and how unconceivable an haszard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run and how reasonable how necessary is it that
Life in order to Thankfullness The last section of thes Papers may giue you some assistance therin and consider what Retrun's you have made to God for all his Kindnesses You may do well to consider your self also in the Relations you have stood to others as Inferior Equal or Superior in family Church or State in your Calling profession imployment c. And examine in what more notorious Instances you have been faulty in your Relative Duties How you did ordinarily Carry it in your Place and station for that is the best the truest Picture of a man which is like him in his ordinary every-day's habit Perticularly reflect upon the sins you have committed in Company with Others By whose Example you have been drawn to sin who may probably have been tempted by yours and bewail it and if the persons are living admonish them to Repent and if you have injur'd and wrong'd any acknowledg your fault and to the utmost of your power make speedy Restitution If any of your Companions in sin are dead and you fear dyed without Repentance humble your self particularly before God for hauing contributed to their Damnation I know of some who have made such a Catalogue of their Sins with the most observable agravations of them which they constantly preseru'd and frequently review'd to keep them Humble Penitent Watchfull and Thankfull and on some occasions of secret Humiliation have spread them before the Lord as Hezekiah that of his enemy Covering them selves with shame and Confusion of Face by considering what they have been and thence admiring the Riches of free Grace in the forgiveness of such Crimes thro the Bloud of Christ Examine me o Lord and prove me try my Reins and my Heart for thy Loving kindness is before mine Eyes and I will walk in thy Truth Thou hast searched me o Lord and known me thou knowest my Thoughts a far off all my secret Sins are in the Light of thy Countenance and thou art acquainted with all my ways set my Sins in order before me that I may Repent and for sake them Show me mine Infirmities and weaknesses that I may watch against them And teach me to Judge and condemn my self that I may not be judged of the Lord. XXV How Christians ought to examine their Decays of Grace and Piety The greatness of their Sin and of their Losse under such a Declension God's displeasure and departure from them considered to awaken present Endeavors of a Recovery In what manner the Faith of Adherence may be acted by one who hath no Assurance IT cannot but be of use to Believers also at stated Times to examine themselves concerning their Languishings and Decays in Grace Falling from their first Love to a spirit of in differency and Lukewarmness disorderly walking or unfruitfullness wither Gray Hairs are not here and there upon them and they know it not For God may withdraw by degrees so that his departure may not presently be perceiv'd and some kind of Activity in Duty may be continued upon false Principles and from Common Assistance while a Christian as to his spiritual State may be under a dangerous Consumption 'T is not difficult for others to observe it some times and would be visible enough to themselves would they spare a few hours to examine the matter The Punishment of such Backslidings the loss of the quickning and comforting presence of the H. Spirit deserues likewise to be inquir'd into in order to a speedy remedy and should enforce the Counsell I mean not barely the ebbing of Affections in the duties of Religion or the want of life and quickning from sensible Consolations which new Converts especially such as have been reclaim'd from a course of notorious Impiety have more of at first then afterwards Which doubting Christians should particularly take notice of by the Instance of the Prodigal who was extraordinarily feasted at his first return but was doubtless contented afterwards with the ordinary Provisions of his Fathers house Neither doth God dispence the same measure to all alike nor to any alike at all Times some who are called to greater services and sufferings then others or had greater Conflicts before Conversion may have a greater share then the rest of their Brethren Neither will the same degree of Grace imparted to some persons so discernably moue and comfort as it will do some others of a different Temper 'T is not therfore so much to be the matter of our Enquiry if at all it need to be so wither we have more or less of sensible joy in the performance of duty But Wither we are not fallen and declin'd as to the inward vital Acts of Grace and in the outward Fruits of Holiness Wither we have such clear convincing Apprehensions of divine and spiritual Truths and the mysteries of the gospel as formerly wither our minds are not become more vaine and heedless wither our knowledg of God and of the Revelations of his will be as powerfull and efficacious upon our Hearts and Lives as heretofore wither there be not less frequency less Consistency less inward satisfaction in holy serious thoughts then formerly You were wont to pray and endeavor that God might be first and last in your thoughts every day and by frequent Ejaculations in civil affaires to maintaine a dayly converse with God but now you mind not wither it be so or not yea you cannot but know that it is not thus with you still It was once your Burden to be pester'd with foolish filthy wordly vaine Thoughts especially on the Lord's Day or in the worship of God you rejected and disown'd them you lamented and pray'd against them do so much as examine wither it be thus still Consider all your Affections and their several objects and see wither a criminal Lukewarmness hath not diffus'd it self in to every of them Examine every Grace and see wither your Faith Hope Love holy Desires and Delight in God be not miserably abated as to the strength and vigor the efficacy and frequent exercise of every of them so that your Thoughts of God are few cold and lifeless without desire delight and love Consider the Opportunities and solemn Occasions of approaching the divine Presence Are they as much the Desire of your souls and the rejoycing of your Hearts as once they were Are you not more easily diverted from them less satisfy'd and refresht by them are not all Gospel Ordinances less powerfull and quickning and your profit and advantage therby unspeakably less then formerly Doe you hunger and thirst and pant as the Hart after the water brooks to draw nigh to God and come into his Courts doe you make Conscience of preparing before hand do you come with a real desire and design and expectation of profiting and bettering your Spirits do you joyn in every part of divine worship with that attention seriousness and composure of mind and taste the sweetness and benefit of such solemnities as formerly are such services performed with
and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho one came from the Dead XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavors after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Time and doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God on the preparations I now make and the meetness I can now attaine for Eternal Felicity in the presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of mind should I now prosecute that glorious object with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me Least I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life how should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this end Lord be not a stranger to my soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickening Spirit let the divine life in my soul be more powerfull and the characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the dayly exercise of Faith and Hope and holy Affections carry me thro this World till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing fore-thoughts of it fill all the powers of my soul with Joy and wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think aright of the Heavenly Glory as a confirmed State of positive perfect holiness of heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying vision of God in the face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling forever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory with compleat conformity of the soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire subjection to his will adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him swallowed up in the love admiration and praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyfull repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and acknowledg'd Dependance ravisht to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our minds the errors of our Judgment the Perversness of our Will the disorder and rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and disaffection to him which in this world we complaine of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an Everlasting Tranquillity and holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all understanding without any outward Molestation or inward cause of disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth mire and dirt as now we shall have no more vaine or wicked Thoughts no more sinfull Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires sensual Inclinations Earthly Affections feeble slothfull Spiritless Duties dead and heartless Prayers cold Thanks givings c. but as we shall then know God without Error and see our Lord Jesus face to face so we shall love him without reserve more then now we can think and serve him without dullness and distraction and praise him without weariness the spiritual actings of our souls shall have no allay of drosse And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was corruptible and mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven A Word tho commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and intrinsick Evill of Sin shall be by the Damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my soul by a farther participation of his holy Image and conformity to his will by more vital effects of his indwelling Spirit in my soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own delightfull residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Covetous and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the mark When I seriously examine my own heart had I nothing els to prove the weakness of my Grace the sinfull remainders of unbelief but the low desires and few confortable Thoughts the seldom joyfull prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it that I breath with no more Impatience after that Blessed holy Rest in the injoyment of God and Christ and labor no more in preparing for it when all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix't on Him and filled with him as our Infinite and supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in endless admiration gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of change And by consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to give a relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this world is by comparing a man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiors But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such foile to set it off no such comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonderfull change And what was at first delightfull will for ever be so and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance as it happens in this world from the Emptiness shallowness and vanity of the Creature An Affectation of variety and desire of change proceeding allways from a sense of want But Holy Souls shall never be weary of seeing loving and injoying God his blessed presence will afford us undecaying and endless satisfaction Pleasures never to be interrupted or abated and never to ceas The blessed object is absolutely Infinite and so will be allways new to a finite understanding and continual fresh Communications from his infinite fullness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be allways new Eternally So. Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent endeavors after a greater meetness to injoy so Great a Bliss And to that end consider whither any of those happy souls who have finisht their course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost diligence patience and perseverance during their short abode here to secure
the Blessedness of an Endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the trouble they were at the care they used the difficulties they met with the sufferings they indured to conflict with the world and the flesh to resist temptation to watch over their Hearts and words and ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithfull to him c. They find to their unspeakable comfort and Everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not diligent and humble and patient and circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and opportunities of doing and receiving good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the Blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more then the most active zealous Christian upon earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavors by such thoughts as these inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and fervor that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may lay up a good Foundation 1 Tim. 6. c. 19. against the Time to come and so lay hold of Eternal Life But alas how much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy meditation how little skill and experience have I in it how tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or advantage have I by contemplaing his Highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retaine the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this world be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist'em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintaine such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious contemplation of divine mysteries in fervent Prayer and other solemn duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in partilar when he brought me to the very suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightfull Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be Here this is no other then the gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart flye off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth againe sunk down from the bosome of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a dunghill 'T was not on my own wings o Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that H. Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me pant and groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible desire and joy unconceivably mixt together with sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the world to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming zeal of the stony ground the rapturous Joy of an hypocrite from the power of Imagination and an heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural self love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a fals Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his apointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the soul Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less then we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the lustre of the. Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtaine so near a view of his Glory and feel such sweet communications of his Grace how much more of this consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim state the gifts and graces and comforts of the H. Spirit are so refreshing O what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Hearts after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him face to face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping soul O what shall I know and see and how shall I rejoyce when the vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and J. Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last Great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the ful Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious day by holy meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a cordiall what will be the whole vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the stuff and lumber of this world when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou o my Soul a Kings Son an Heir of Heaven an expectant of such Great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hugg the vaine Appearances of Earthly Good Hope to be like
Thank fullness shall Believers then contemplate the unskearchable Riches of his Grace in all the parts and instances of his Humiliation from his conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and discoveries made of it from the first Promise to it's completion yea from before the foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the son untill his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerfull Grace which snatcht us as fire brands out of Everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by Heavenly Light conquer'd the opposition of our Stubborn Wills Sanctified our Carnal Hearts rescued us from the tyranny of Satan and the dominion of lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtle endeavors of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the End giving us victory over Death conducting us thro the dark valley raiising our Bodies reviving and reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length raising our imperfect Services with Eternal Life yea tho our best services were mixt with sin our holyest duties spotted our most couragious sufferings mixt with unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil but all the ingredients of a perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the freeness tenderness riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redecmed ones Saying This is He who made our peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Bloud bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us he assumed our nature that we might pertake of his became the Son of Men that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we thro his Poverty might beeome Rieh stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and reproach to conferr honour on us was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so Eternally felt the stroke of his Anger against sin that we might not perish under it Was a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefs that we might rejoyce his agonies and bloudy sweat were for our Refreshment and by his stripes we are healed he bowed his head on the Crosse that we might lift up ours in Triumph and because we had eaten of the forbidden fruit he hung on the accursed Tree 'T was for us that he suffered the frowns of Heaven the enmity of Hell the rage of Devils the hatred and persecution of the world He was judged that we might not come into Condemnation he was crucifyed that we might be glorified and he is now Come againe finally and fully to effect it O the height and depth and length and breath of the Love of Christ which passeth knowledg but calls for admiration and Everlasting Gratitude This is the Blessed Day we long'd and waited and prayed for This is our Gracious our Glorious Lord whose love melted our Hearts whose Promise was our Support whose Word was our Rule whose Spirit was our Comforter whose Crosse was our Crown and the hope of his Appearance our chief Consolation Lord what am I what was I that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me I can remember when I was ignorant of God a Stranger to him at Enmity with him under the power of Darkness and the Devil serving divers lusts and Pleasures hastening to Hell and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the world stampt his Image upon me pardoned my Sin and imbrac't me in the arms of his unchangeaâ—â—â— Love. O Happy Change aâ—â— yet how little did I prize his Grace admire his love and express my own or pomote his glory and honour him in the Eyes of others how did I dishonor my profession and holy Calling as his Disciple by agravated Apostacy but he recovered me by Repentance and healed my Backslidings and received me graciously because he loved me freely O admirable Grace to pardon and save and bring to Glory such an unthankfull Wretch as I have been to make such a difference between me and others whom I knew on earth that the same Power which makes them Miserable now makes me Blessed that when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction I am admitted to behold his Glory and shall dwell with him for ever O how much â—â—â—e do I now see and find then ever I believed of the Love of Christ and his promised Salvation how much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer how much more Excellent is the Heavenly State then ever I thought or expected I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth part of that which I now see and feel I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring and praising the Incomparable Grace and Glory of my Blessed Redeemer Such holy admiration will certainly produce the most thankfull Adorations of our Lord Jesus Saying one to another I Bless the Lord of Love and Glory who humbled himself so low as our Mediator and hath exalted us so high as the blessed fruit of it how can we ever enough adore and praise him who condescended so far and hath done and sufferd so much for us See how the Holy Angels worship this King of Glory and have not every one of us more reason to do so O let all the Quire of Heaven celebrate his glorious Love and let us his Redeemed his Glorified ones say continually Let the Lord be magnified who hath loved us and washed us from our sins in his own Bloud and made us Kings and Priests unto God his Father and thro him ours O Mercifull Saviour O glorious Change O Happy Society with whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth how we wept and praid and fasted and mourned together when we suffered and complain'd and sin'd together O the Marvellous change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us and in us These Bodies these Souls this Life this Place this Company these Injoyments are not like those in yonder World. But alas who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour how smal a portion is it we understand of that World How little can I conceive and much less express Blessed be God we know so much as the matter of our joyfull Hopes and forever Blessed be God who hath promised and provided such a Glory for us as cannot now be fully known
me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and H. Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better then Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most mercifull God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightfull Lord acknowledging thee as my Allmighty Wise and Bountifull Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yeild my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Hand maid Tho other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Bloud I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfie for my sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy mercifull Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of life and glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy yoke upon me for it is Easy and thy Burden which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Crosse and follow thee whither so ever thou shalt lead me thro the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labor grudge at no suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. Os hed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easy for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Bloud O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his merit satisfaction and Righteousness to Justifie my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and all sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purifie my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the bloud of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the H. Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Belivers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O Blessed Spirit be thou my witness that tho I have violated the Law of God and defac't his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospell yet by thine aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self hence forward to be the Lords in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once againe dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those whic I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy will making it my business to be fruitfull in good works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his apointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day that I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I againe ratifie and confirm with out any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God. Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the H. Spirit XXIX Prastical and Consolatory Reflexions on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God. I Have this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God Deut. 6. c. 17.18 to walk in his ways therby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my House and All that I can