tell you and many sad complaint to make of our Governors and great men and of the malignants and Dundee's men and many Pardons to ask for a broken Covenant and a backsliding Ministry but I must refer them all till you and I be at more leisure and I will not end without that old musty Prayer that they now call our Lords Mr. Robert Kenedy Brother to the very learned and moderate Hugh Kenedy the Moderator of the General Assembly once praying at a Conventicle at Chidsdale said Lord grant that all the Kings in the World may fall down before thy Son and kiss his Soles not the Pope's Soles c. no nor his stinking Panton either Mr. Boyd the famous Preacher in Chidsdale finding in the Forenoon that severals of his Hearers went away after the Forenoon Sermon had this expression in his Afternoon Prayers Now Lord thou sees that many People go away from hearing thy word but had we told them Stories of Robin Hood or Davie Lindsay they had stay'd and yet none of these are near so good as thy Word that I Preach Another praying against Church Government by Bishops and Curates said Lord will thou take the Keys of thy own House out of the hand of those thieves and hirelings and make them play clitter clatter upon their Crowns till they cry Maw again he pronounced the word Maw like the noise of a Cat for thy locks have got many a wrong cast since they had the Keys About the beginning of March 1689 one prayed for a Presbyterian Election of Members to the Parliament in the City of Edinburgh in these words Good God now when Christ's back is at the wall put it in the heart of the Townsmen to chuse George Stirling and Baillif Hall Another prayed Lord thou hast said that he is worse than an Insidel that provides not for his own Family Give us not reason to say this of thee Lord for we are thine own family and yet we have been but scurvily provided for of a long time Another praying after the Baptism of a Child in the City of Edinburgh said Lord bless and preserve this young Calf that he may grow an ox to draw in Christ's Plough Mr. Areskine praying in the Tron-Church last year said Lord have mercy on all Fools and Idiots and particularly on the Magistrates of Edinburgh Another Imprecating as is very ordinary with them to do said Lord give thy enemies the Papists and the Prelates a full cup of thy fury to drink and if they refuse to drink it off then good Lord give them Kelty Mr. John Dickson praying for Grace said Lord dibble thou the kail-seed of thy Grace in our hearts and if we grow not up to good kail Lord make us good Sprouts at least Mr. Linning cursing the King or France in his Prayers said Lord curse him confound him and damn him dress him and guide him as thou didst Pharaoh Senacherib and our late King James and his Father One Frazer a young Fellow Preaching in Jedburgh after Sermon blasphemously inverted the Blessing thus The Curse of the Lord Jesus Christ and of God the Father and the Holy Ghost be upon all them that hear the Word and profit not by it Mr. Arskine in the Tron-Church prayed Lord be thou in Mons Mons Mons be thou in Mons good Lord meikle need has Mons of thee Lord for now they that be Confederates we hope they may be made Covenanters Bring the sworn enemy of the Solemn League the Tyrant of France to the place whence he came and cause his Dragons shoot him in his Retreat that he may cry out with Julian the Apostate Now Galilean thou hast overcome me One Mr. James Webster was admired lately at my Lord Arbuthnet his zealous Patron 's Table for this Grace before Meat Out of the boundless bankless brimless bottomless shoreless Ocean of thy goodness we are daily foddered filled feasted fatted and half an hours Discourse to the same purpose Mr. Kennedy before the late Assembly in which he had the name of Moderator said in his Prayer Lord Moderation is commended to us by the King we all know it 's a Vertue that 's sometimes is useful Lord but I cannot say that that which they call Moduration is so convenient at this time for thy People and Cause for even to be free with you Good Lord I think it best to make a clean House by sweeping them all out at the door and casting them out to the Midden Their famous Scrib Rule in a Prayer not at Sermon but upon another occasion as publick a little after the dissolution of the General Assembly expressed himself thus O Lord thou knows that Christ's Court the General Assembly ought to protest against Usurpers upon Christs Kingdom but if we had known that King William would have been angry with us in earnest and if the Brethren would have followed my advice we should have pleased the King for this time and taken Christ in our own hand till some other opportunity The Moderator Chrighton immediately after the Assembly was dissolved praying amongst many other reflexions upon the King and his Counsellors said these words O Lord thou knows how great a Surprizal this is to us we lookt upon King William at his first coming among us to have been sent in mercy for deliverance to this poor Kirk but now we see that our Deliverance must come from another hand Good God grant that he be not sent to be a plague and a curse to thy Kirk Hind let loose by Mr. Shields pag. 468. I conclude this Head says he with that Form of Prayer that I use for the King O Lord to whom vengeance belongeth shew thy self lift up thy self thou Judge of the Earth render a reward to the proud Lord how long shall the wicked how long shall the wicked triumph shall the Throne of iniquity have fellowship with thee that frameth mischief by a law the mighty and terrible God destroy all Kings and people that put their hand to alter and destroy the House of God overturn overturn overturn this Throne of Tyranny and let it be no more until he come whose right it is These are but a few of many thousand instances that might be given of that ridiculousness profanity and blasphemy which the Scotch Presbyterians daily use in their Preaching and Praying and tho Strangers may think it incredible that men professing Religion or Reason should thus debase and prostitute both yet they who are unfortunately bound to converse with and hear them frequently cannot be but sadly sensible that all that 's here charged upon them is but too true and that many of the worst expressions they are daily guilty of are purposely here omitted lest by such obscene Godless and fulsome stuff the ears and eyes of modest Readers should be nauseated and polluted which if these opposers of Truth and Religion should deny there are thousands in Scotland of the best quality and
hinder the Work of Reformation The crying Sins of the Land which we should confess with sorrow before the Lord are That the Graceless Prelates and Curates are not hung up before the Sun and that Men should be so Godless as to assist the King in his distress before he had satisfied the Kirk by publick Penance for opposing the Work of God in the Covenant Jus Pop. Throughout Act General Assembly Aug. 13. 1650. Acknowledgment of Sins and Engagement to Duties appointed and published 1648. And again renewed at Lesmachago March 3. 1688. with Accommodation to the present times SECT III. Containing Notes of the Presbyterian Sermons taken in Writing from their Mouths AT first I begin with one I heard from Zetland who Preaching on David and Goliah he told the Hearers Sirs this David was but a little manekine like my beddle Davie Gaddies there but Goliah was a meckle strong fellow like the Laird of Quandal there this David gets a Scrippie and Baggie that is a Sling and a Stone in it he slings a Stone into Goliah ' s Face down falls Goliah and David above him After that David was made a King he that was keeping Sheep before in truth he came very well too Sirs Well said Davie see what comes of it Sirs after that he commits Adultery with Uriah Nay said the beddal Davie Gaddies it was but with Uriah ' s Wife Sir In Faith thou art right it was Uriah's Wife indeed man said Mr. John One Ker at his entring into a Church at Teviotdale told the People the Relation that was to be between him and them in these following words Sirs I am coming home to be your Shepherd and you must be my Sheep and the Bible will be my Tar-bottle for I will mark you with it and laying his Hand on the Clark or Precentor's Head he saith Andrew you shall be my Dog The sorrow a bit of your Dog will I be said Andrew O Andrew I speak mystically said the Preacher Yea but you speak mischievously said Andâ—ew Mr. William Guthry preaching on Peter ' s Confidence said Peter Sirs was as Stalliard a Fellow as ever had cold Iron at his Arse and yet a Hussie with a Rock feared him Another preaching against Drunkenness told the Hearers There were four sorts of Drunkenness 1. To be drunk like a Sow tumbling in the Mire like many of this Parish 2. There is to be drunk like a Dog the Dog fills the Stomach of him and spues all out again and thou John Jamison was this way drunk the other day 3. There is to be drunk like a Goose Of all Drunkenness Sirs beware of the Drunkenness of the Goose for it never rests but constantly dips the Gobb of it in the Water You are all drunk this way Sirs I need name none of you 4. There is to be drunk like a Sheep the silly Sheep seldom or never drinks but sometimes wets the Mouth of it in the Water and rises up as well as ever and I my self use to be drunk this way Sirs But now I see said he two Gentlemen in the Kirk and Gentlemen you are both Strangers to me but I must vindicate my self at your hands I have here the cursedest Parish that ever God put Breath in for all my preaching against Drunkenness they will go into a Change-house after Sermon and the first thing they 'll get is a meckle cup full of hot Ale and they will say I wish we had the Minister in the midst of it Now Gentlemen judge ye how I am rewarded for my good Preaching After Sermon the Clerk gives him up the name of a Fornicatrix whose name was Ann Cantly Here is saith he one upon the Stool of Repentance they call her Cantly she saith her self she is an honest Woman but I trow Scantly Mr. John Levingstone in Ancrum once giving the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper said to his Hearers Now Sirs you may take Christ piping hot and finding a Woman longsome in taking the Bread out of his Hand he says Woman if you take not Christ take the meikle Devil then One John Simple a very Zealous Preacher among them used to personate and act Sermons in the old Monkish Stile spoken of Sect. 1. § 16. At a certain time he preached upon that Debate Whether a Man be Justified by Faith or by Works and acted it after this manner Sirs this is a very great Debate but who is that looking in at the Door with his red Cap follow your look Sir it is very ill manners to be looking in but what 's your name Robert Bellarmine Bellarmine saith he Whether is a man justified by Faith or by Works He is justified by Works Stand thou there man But what is he that honest-like-man standing in the Floor with the long Beard and Geneva Coul a very honest-like-man draw near What 's your name Sir My name is John Calvin Calvin honest Calvin Whether is a man justified by Faith or by Works He is justified by Faith Very well John thy Leg to my Leg and we shall hough down Bellarmine even now Another time Preaching on the day of Judgment he told them Sirs this will be a terrible day we 'll all be there and in the throng I John Simple will be and all of you will stand at my back Christ will look to me and he will say Who is that standing there I 'll say again yea even as ye ken'd not Lord he 'll say I know thou's honest John Simple draw near John now John what good service have you done to me on Earth I have brought hither a company of Blew Bonnets for you Lord Blew Bonnets John what is become of the brave Hats the Silks and the Satins John I 'll tell I know no Lord they went a Gate of their own Well honest John thou and thy blew Bonnets are welcome to me come to my right hand and let the Devil take the Hats the Silks and the Sattins This John was ordinarily called Fitch-cape and Claw-poll because in the time of Preaching or Praying he used to claw his Head and rub his Callet At a certain time he was called to preach in a Neighbouring Church and his Preface was in these words Sirs I know what you will be saying among your selves the day ye will say Here is Fitch-cape come to preach to us the day but as the Lord lives I had a great deal of do e're I could come to you for by the way I met the Devil he said to me What now Fitchâ—cape whither are you going I am going said I to preach to the People of God People of God! said the foul thief they are my People They are not yours thou soul thief said I. They are mine Claw-poll said he again to me so the foul thief and I tugg'd rugg'd and riv'd at one another and at last I got you out of his Clooks Now here is the good that
in a Garret and she hearing some body coming up Stairs she said to him Ah here 's my Aunt I must devise a Trick to divert her upon which she â—ell a whining and howling aloud as these People use to do at their most private Devotions O to believe to believe O to have Experience said she And by that means she diverted her Aunts further Approaching who instantly retired commending her Niece's Zeal and Devotion The Gentleman conceals the Woman's Name out of regard to her Honour and his own begs Pardon for the Sin and tells it only to discover the abominable Nature of their Hypocrisie They are generally deluded by Persons that have but specious pretences to Godliness And such is the force that a loud Voice and a whining Tone in broken and smother'd words have upon the Animal Spirits of the Presbyterian Rabble that they look not upon a Man as endued with the Spirit of God without such canting and deformity of Holiness A person that hath the dexterity of whining may make a great Congreation of them weep with an Ode of Horace or Eclogue of Virgil especially if he can but drivel a little either at Mouth or Eyes when he repeats them And such a person may pass for a Soul-ravishing spiritualist if he can but set off his Nonsence with a wry mouth which with them is called A Grace pouring down Countenance The snuffling and twang of the Nose passes for the Gospel sound and the throwings of the Face for the motions of the Spirit They are more concerned at the reading the Speeches of their Covenant Martyrs yea such Martyrs as died for Rebellion and Murder than in reading the Martyrdom of St. Stephen or any of his Followers A Sermon of mere Railing and Nonsence will afâ—ect them more than Christ's Sermon on the Mount and no wonder for all they do is to affect the Passions and not the Judgment One Mr. Daniel Douglass an old Presbyterian Preacher in the Mers simple man as to the World yet of more Learning Ingenuity and good Nature than most of them he was not long agoe preaching before the meeting of his Brethren and agoe annalysing a Text Logically and very remote from vulgar Capacities yet so powerful and melting was his Tone and Actions that in the Congregation he spies a Woman weeping and pointing towards her he crys out Wife what makes you weep I am sure thou understandest not what I am saying my Disourse is directed to the Brethren and not to the like of you nay I question whether the Brethren themselves understand this that I am speaking Several Instances can be given of their strong delusions this is none of the least that they take it for a sure Evidence upon their Death-beds that it 's well with them because they never heard a Curate in their lifetime For an indulged Presbyterian who is the Author of the Review of the History of the Indulgence tells us thus much Page 527 and Page 528 That some of the leading people among the Presbyterians were of Opinion that Baptism by Episcopal Ministers is the mark of the Beast and the hearing of them as unlawful as Fornication Adultery or the worshipping the Calves of Dan and Bethel And I think that a Curate can tell no worse tale of them than this which a Presbyterian himself owns and declares to the World in Print I cannot here pass by what happen'd a few Years ago in the Parish of Tindrum in the South-west a person that was Executed for Bestiality there in his Prayers bless'd God that for a long time he had heard no Curate preach at which the Hearts of some Presbyterian Saints began to warm with Affection to him and exprest so much Charity that upon that account they doubted not but that he might be saved and were sorry that he was not allow'd to live because of the good that such a Zealous man might have done It is a well known truth in the Parish of Teviotdale that two or three sighing Sisters coming to a Man in Prison the Night before he was burnt for Bestiality the wholsomest Advice they gave him was this O Andrew Andrew Andrew all the Sins that ever you committed are nothing to your hearing the cursed Curates if you get Pardon for that Sin Andrew all is right with you A young Woman in Fife Daughter to a Presbyterian Preacher there reading that of St. Peter Christ the Bishop of our Souls blotted out the word Bishop and in the place thereof incerted Presbyterian of our Souls And by the same Spirit of Biggotry one of her Zealous Sisters in the same Family tore every where out of her Bible the word Lord Because said she it is polluted by being applied to the Profane Prelates Instances of their Madness and Delusions might swell into an huge Volume but I shall only mention two or three which are commonly known What greater Instance of Delusion than that Seven or Eight thousand people should be raised to Rebellion at Bothwel-bridge from laboring their ground and keeping their Sheep and that by Sermons assuring them that the very Windlestraws the Grass in the Field and Stars in Heaven would fight for them And that after the Victory they should possess the Kingdom themselves O it 's the promis'd Land and you Israelites shall inherit it but in this they found their Preachers to prove salve Prophets After their Defeat a Gentleman told me that going to view the Field where the Battle was fought he saw one in the Agony of death crying out Ah cheated out of Life and Soul The Gentleman inquired what he meant by that expression Ah said he our Preachers our Preachers they made us believe that as sure as the Bible was the word of God we should gain the day for that the Windlestraws should fight for us About the same time a person of Quality returning from the West with some of the King's Forces being necessitate to lodge in a Country House where there was but one Woman and she with child for the Men and all that were able to run had fled out of the way The Nobleman encouraged the poor Woman desiring her not to be afraid sent one upon his own Horse for Midwife and other Women to attend her The poor Woman surprised and encouraged with this unexpected kindness began to talk more freely and said Sir I see you that are Kings-men are not so ill as we heard ye were for we heard that it was ordinary for you to rip up Women with Child but pray will you tell me Sir what sort of Men are your Bishops They are said he very good Men and they are chosen out from among the Clergy to oversee the rest of the Ministers But are they says she shapen like other Men Why ask you that said he Because our Preachers made us believe the Bishops were all cloven-footed There is scarce one of an hundred among the Presbyterian Vulgar that will be either reason'd or laugh'd out of
and by Witnesses of unquestionable Honesty I can make it appear that he said If ever Christ was drunk upon Earth it was when he made the Lords Prayer And I appeal to your self who are a Ruling-Elder whether or not this be Blasphemy Some other things of Scandalous Nature I can prove against him O but says he we are not come here to Judge our Brethren our Business is with the Curates It is ordinary to hear their People say That if Christ were on Earth again he would think shame of that Form that they could make better themselves and that he was but young when he compos'd it All which Blasphemies must needs be the Effects or Consequent of what they hear from their Preachers And as for the Apostles Creed it is not so much as once mentioned at the Baptising of Infants for all that they require at Baptism is That the Father promise to breed up the Child in the Belief of the Westminster Confession of Faith and that he shall adhere to all the National Engagements laying on them to be Presbyterians Here I cannot forget what Mr. John Dickson Preacher in the Meeting-House at Kelso said once in a Sermon Ask said he an old dying Wife if she hath any Evidence of Salvation she will tell you I hope so for I believe the Apostles Creed I am taken with the Lord's Prayer and I know my Duty to the be Ten Commands But I tell you Sirs there are but old rotten Wheel-barrows to carry Souls to Hell These are Idols that the false Prelates and Curates have set up to obstruct the Covenant and the Work of God in the Land For reading the Scriptures in Churches they have abolished that with the rest and in place thereof he that raises the Psalm reads the Sermon that was preach'd the Sabbath before And for the Gospel Hymn called the Doxology or Gloria Patri they reject that as a superstitious prelatical Addition to the Word of God A certain Maid being lately Catechised by one of these Preachers the first question he propos'd to her was Maggi Now what think you are the Saints doing in Heaven I know not Sir O Maggy that is a very easie question answer it Maggy I think then said she they are doing that in Heaven which ye will not let us do on Earth What is that Maggy says he They are singing Glory to the Father Son and Holy Ghost Sir Now that is your Mistake Maggy said he for there 's no such malignant Songs sung there you have been quite wrong taught Maggy the Curates have deceived you Maggy They have no distinguishing Garb from Lay-men and yet they took upon them to admonish the King's Commissioner to their last Assembly for wearing a Scarlet Cloak and told him plainly That it was not decent for his Grace to appear before them in such a Garb upon which my Lord told them That he thought it as undecent for them to appear before him in gray Cloaks and Cravats When the Church of Arrol was last Year made Vacant by the Expulsion of the Reverend and Learned Dr. Niclson the Elders and Heritors there whereof many were Gentlemen of the best quality met together that according to the present Law and constant Practice of the Presbyterians they might chuse and call another Minister to be their Parson after they had unanimously agreed and sign'd and sent a formal Legal Call to Mr. Lisk a person of indisputable Qualifications for the Ministry in which he has been imploy'd with great Reputation for several Years in the North and one who has given signal Evidence of his good Affections to heir present Majesties my Lord Kinnard Chief Heritor went with the rest to signifie their Calling of Mr. Lisk to the Presbytery at my Lords entering into the place where the Presbytery was sitting he ask'd if they were the Ministers of the Presbytery Do not you see that we are said the Moderator My Lord replied That by their Garb no Body could know them and that their Spirit was invisible now whether it was for this Jest or because they knew Mr. Lisk to be Episcopal in his Judgment I know not but this I know that these grave New Gospellers rejected the Call in despite both of the Heritors and of their own Law brought in a Hot-headed Young Man of their own Stamp and Election However that they use no distinguishing Garb must be acknowledged to be very Congruous for truly they are but Laicks and it will surpass all their Learning to prove that they are Ministers of Jesus Christ but meerly Preachers sent and call'd by the People who are generally but very ill Judges of Mens Qualifications for the Ministry hence their constant and vast Heats and Divisions about their calling of able Men. The Mobile ordinarily take their Measures only from the appearances of things and indeed a Presbyterian Preachers Out-side is not his worst for they appear commonly though in Lay-garb yet in Sheeps-clothing but as we have often formerly so do we now feel that they are inwardly nothing but ravenous Wolves Now as to their Sermons which is the main design of this Paper they are still upon the Government and the Times preaching up the Excellency of their Kirk-Government which they call Christ the Crown Scepter and Government of Christ This was an old Custom among them to preach up the Times and the neglect thereof they call'd sinful Silence When in the former Confusions of the State they violently intruded themselves and Usurped the Government of the Church which they never had in settled Times In those Days at a publick Synod they openly reproved one Mr. Lighton for not preaching up the Times Who saith he doth preach up the Times It was answer'd That all the Brethren did it The says Mr. Lighton if all you preach up the Times you may allow one poor Brother to preach up Christ Jesus and Eternity But this was never not is like to be the Design of their Sermons for trace them in their Politicks Morals Mysticks and Metaphysicks you shall find them Selfish Singular and full of Nonsensick Rhapsodies These perhaps may seem hard Words but an Aethiopian must be painted black and that 's no sault in the Painter For their Politicks there is no Government under the Sun could tolerate them if they but act in other Nations as they have done in Scotland since their Intrusion there to instance but in our Times Did nor Mr. Cargill one of their Celebrated Preachers Excommunicate all the Royal Family the Bishops and Curates and all that should hear them and adhere to them They indeed that affect the Name of Sober Presbyterians disown'd these Hill-men particularly because they refused to join with them in thanking King James for the Toleration which he granted to them And yet such is the Disingenuity of these who would be called Sober Presbyterians that they cry out that they suffered Persecution whereas it was the Cameronians only whom they disown that
did suffer any thing For these others were settled in Churches by an Indulgence granted by the King Against which Indulgence all the Sufferers like true Presbyterians gave their Testimony calling it a meer brat of Erastianism What Government could tolerate such Ministers as John Deckson whom I named before who in a Sermon Preached by him in the Parish of Gallashiels declar'd That it was all one to Sacrifice to Devils as to pay Cess to King Charles The Author of the Review of the History of Indulgence one of the Sober sort of Presbyterians tells Page 610. the same of a Preacher of his Acquaintance I shall say no more of their Sentiments concerning Government but only referr the Readers to their Printed Acts of General Assemblies and to those Covenants which themselves have Printed often Subscribed and Sworn and which are now again for the benefit of Strangers published in that Excellent Vindication of King Charles II. his Happy Government in Scotland by Sir George Mac Kenze in which it's Evident that they plainly renounce Monarchy and all Power but that of the Covenanted Kirk As to their Disposition to live peaceably I appeal not only to their Principles vented in these Covenants and Acts of their general Assemblies but also to the many private Murthers and open Rebellions which they have been guilty of under every Reign since their first entry into Britain Even in our own Days since 1666 they have raised no less than Three formidable Rebellions besides many lesser Insurrections and Tumults wherein many Christians have suffered With what Violence did they flee to Arms and persecute all who were not of their Party upon the occasion of the late Revolution when if it had not been for their indiscreet and fiery Zeal this Kingdom might have been happily united to England But what ever Advantage such an Union might have brought to the Church and State yet because it seemed to have no good Aspect to the covenanted cause therefore the motion of it though offered was industriously stifled and that Opportunity which we can hardly hope to recover quite lost Nay under the present Government for which they in the beginning pretended to be so zealous 't is well known over all the Kingdom that they were last Year contriving by force without any regard to Authority to have the Solemn League renewed and imposed after the old manner upon all Men Women and Children and in order to this good end many Thousands of them at Field meetings in the West conveened after their ordinary way with Bibles and Musquets Psalm-Books and rusty Swords and subscrbed a new Association for raising of Men Horse and Arms to advance the Old Cause repurge the holy Kirk and make a thorow Reformation in the Land But I shall take occasion by and by to give you some later and more evident Instances of their Neglect and Contempt of their present Governors In the next place survey them in their Learning and you shall find that it lies only in the study of some Anti-Arminian Metaphysicks and in the practical Divinity they pretend to draw from the Heads of Election and Reprobation whereby they preach Men out of their Wits and very often into Despair and Self-murder It 's generally known that Joseph Brodie Preacher in Forress in the time of the late Presbytery did in the presence of a very Learned and Eminent Person take occasion in the Pulpit to speak of a poor Man who was then in such a desperate Condition that it was judg'd necessary to bind up his Hands lest otherwise he should cut his own Throat as he continually threatned of this desperate Wretch the pious Preacher above-named pronounced thus Sirs this is the best Man in my Parish would to God ye were all like him he does truely fear Reprobation which most of you are not aware of There is a common printed Pamphlet compos'd and publish'd by a Presbyterian Preacher concerning one Bessie Clarkson a Woman that lived at Lanark who was three Years in despair or to speak in their Cant under Exercise Whosoever reads that Pamphlet will find that the poor Woman's Distemper proceeded only form their indiscreet Preaching representing God as a sower severe and unmerciful Being It is known in the Shire of Teviotdale that Mr. William Veach murder'd the Bodies as well as Souls of two or three Persons with one Sermon For preaching in the Town of Jedburgh to a great Congregation he said There are Tow thousand of you here to day but I am sure Fourscore of you will not he saved upon which Three of his ignorant Hearers being in Despair dispatched themselves soon after And lately in Edenburgh Mr. James Kirkton the Everlasting Comedian of their Party one of their famous Preachers in that City praying publickly for a poor Woman much troubled in Spirit said A wholesome Disease good Lord a wholesome Disease Lord for the Soul Alas said he few in the Land are troubled with this Disease Lord grant that she may have many fellows in this Disease Not only do they make their People distracted with such desperate Doctrine as this but moreover they incourage them in direct Impieties Mr. Selkirk preaching at Musselburgh expressed himself thus God seed no Sin in his Chosen Now Sirs be you guilty of Murder Adultery Bestiality or any other gross Sin if you be of the Election of Grace there is no fear of you for God sees no Sin in his Chosen covenanted People And this is consonant to an expression of Mr. Samuel Rutherford's printed Letters Hellfulls of Sins cannot separate is from Christ In the Parish of Mr. Macmath Minister of Leswade some of those who were lately the most active in persecuting and driving him form his Residence even after he had the Privy Councils Protection and a Guard assign'd him for his Defence have since suffer'd violent deaths two of them prevented the Hangman's pains by becoming their own Murtherers When the Earl of Lauderdale and Sir George Mackenzie dyed last year much about one time the party who pretend to unriddle all the most secret Causes of God's Providence called their Deaths a visible Judgment for their being Enemies to the good Cause altho' it be well known that both these honourable Persons dyed of a natural Death in a good age being both of them worn out with their great diligence in their King and Country's Service perhaps indeed their days were shortened by seeing such Firebrands able again to force themselves into the Church as had before ruin'd both it and the State and were the Scandal of Christianity as well as Disgrace of their Nation But when these abovenamed Self-Murtherers of the Parish of Leswade had divided Judas's death betwixt them the one hanging himself the other ripping up his own Belly till all his Bowels gushed out The Presbyterian Preacher in that Parish holding forth next Sunday was so ready of Invention as to find Arguments from thence for the Confirmation of the good Cause Ab Sirs says
some Presbyters against the King and the Acts of Parliament to Assist and Deliver him when perfidiously Imprisoned by the English Rebels he says it was no gross nor scandalous Crime but only a speculative Opinion in a controverted Point This shews what is the Opinion of Mr. Rule and of the Party that imployed him but how it consists with his telling the World so often in his two last Books That Presbyterians do not take upon them to meddle in matters of State nor to controul their Civil Governours I leave him to shew us in his next Vindication In the same Page and the following Mr. Rule vindicating the Proceedings of the General Assembly in this matter says That the fatal Division about Protestation and Remonstrance was through the Mercy of GOD not so much as mentioned among them and yet in the very next lines he says That it was moved that the old Sentence against the Remonstrators should be revoked and the revoking of their Sentence was confirmed by this Meeting That Mr. Pitcairn one of the Reverend Brethren was dissatisfied with the Determination of the Meeting in that Affair and was a little hot about it and spoke of entering a Protestation against it Would any People but Scotch Presbyterians have imployed such a Scribler as dare thus prophane the Mercies of GOD to justifie his own foolish and palpable Contradictions Page 160. He grants that to make up their Meeting some Presbyteries sent more than was customary or allowable and yet it was a Regular Lawful General Assembly and that they had none at all sent from other parts which parts were more than one half of the Nation And was not this a pretty General indeed that included only the least part of the Particulars This is true Presbyterian Logic and the Author of it deserves well to be Head of a Colledge In the same Page he denies confidently that Presbyterians were wont to appoint their Fasts on the Lord's Day whereas he might have with at least as great shew of truth denied that ever they fasted on any Day But his two Reasons for the General Assembly's appointing this Fast on the Lord's Day will render this whole matter as plain as a Pikestaff First says he It was the Harvest time and to fast then on a Week-day would have been a high Inconveniency Well we godly Presbyterians that are the Children of the Lord may make bold with his Day rather than seem by Religious Exercises to incommode the People in their Worldly interest Secondly Religious Joy and Religious Sorrow do very well agree And even so Fasting and Feasting at the same time may be very religiously and well observed by the Godly They that write Contradictions must needs speak some Truths and Mr. Rule stumbles upon one that 's well known Pag. 161. where he says We confess that planting work went more slowly on than purging work Well St. Paul was a Divine and he was all for planting and healing Dr. Rule calls himself a Physician and he is all for purging and launcing The Presbyterians are always for purging work Now they are for purging the Kirk next have at the King Council and Houshold there must be some purging work there too Again There are many malignant Members which like so many ill humours corrupt the Body of the Parliament therefore that must be also purged Then the filthiness of the Army by which Reformation-Work must be carried on that must be likewise purged and then that all the Streams may be pure Presbyterian the Fountains must be cleansed the Universities must be purged from the corruption of all ill-affected and suspected persons and in a word to make a thorough Reformation in the Land the whole Nation must be soundly drenched and purging work must go on in the Land after the old Presbyterian manner so long as there remains either Guts or Brains in it My Lord C d who is deservedly honoured by all the party His Godly Parks and Orchards are well planted already and why then should the General Assembly be any farther concerned about planting work Purging work is their Great Business There is another evident truth that Mr. Rule happens to Deviate into Pag. 188. viz. The worst of the Prelaists would be readiest to profess Repentance for conforming to Episcopacy which they who acted from a principle could not do In this I heartily agree with him and am sufficiently satisfied that that Episcopal Renegado who professed such a Repentance before their Assembly neither acted from any Principle nor can be supposed to have any Conscience and we bless God that all the Presbyterian interest art and industry now that they have power could not prevail with any but this one man to prostitute his Conscience to his interest in such a base and scandalous compliance I shall end my reflections on this Author's sayings with some short Remarks upon the Witnesses which he alledges to attest his assertions and first in general I say of them in his own words Pag. 88. That they are the sworn Enemies of the Episcopal Church and in a combination not only to defame them but to root them out and cut them off from the face of the earth and we have from the Pamphlet now under consideration a taste of the veracity of the men with whom we have to do If his witnesses make no more conscience of speaking truth than he himself doth then few thinking men will be moved with what they say 2ly Of the Witnesses named by the Authors of our Books he says they are mostly teste me ipso the Complainant is the witness which is not fair Now all Rule his Evidences are by this exception to be rejected for he himself and all others that know them are fully satisfied that those very Cameronians whom he names as the Evidences to disguise and lessen the attested matters of fact of our late Persecution were themselves the principal actors of that horrid Tragedy Since then it is not fair to admit parties to be witnesses why should these Cameronians be received as such in this affair Again he saith that Ministers witnessing for one another derogateth much from the Credibility of their Testimonies but what say you to Cameronian Presbyterians witnessing for one another why this derogates nothing from the credibility of their Testimonoes for they are not Ministers that 's one evident reason and moreover they are all men of strict Conscience a godly generation and very faithful to their Solemn League the Holy Scots Covenant Upon these considerations M. Rule Defender of the New Gospel-Faith would have the world receive the testimony of that Cameronian Rabble as infallible proofs of what he asserts in his second vindication of the Presbyterian Kirk And yet Preface pag. 6. he says of them That he will not pledge his veracity for theirs that he pretends to no Personal knowledg of but a few of them and that if they deceive or have been deceived not he but they
therefore that which idle onwaiting cannot do misnurtered crying and knocking will do Christ will not dance to your daft Spring Ibid. At our first Conversion the Lord putteth the Meat in young Bairns Mouths with his own hand We love always to have the Pap put in our Mouth Ibid. If my Creditor Christ would take from me what he hath lent I would not long keep the Causey I think it Manhood to play the Coward and jouke in the lee side of Christ and thus I am saved Ibid. I complain when Christ cometh he Cometh always to fetch Fire he is ever in haste hemay not tarry and poor I a beggarly Dyvar get but a standing Visit and a standing Kiss and but How dost thou in the by-going Epist 28. To Alexander Gordon of Knockraig O if I could be a Bridge over a Water for my Lord Jesus to walk upon and keep his Feet dry He can make a fair Feast out of a black Devil Ibid If God were dead and Christ buried and rotten among Worms indeed then we might look like dead folks Epist 34. To Earltown I would give him my Bond under my Faith to frist Heaven a hundred years longer so being he would lay his holy Face to my sometimes wet Cheeks Epist 35. To Marion Mac Naught Christ who is your Head hath win through with his Life howbeit not with a whole Skin Sometimes King Jesus sendeth me out a standing-drink and whispereth a word through the Wall and I am well content of kindness at the second hand his bode is ever welcome but at other times he will be Messenger himself and I get the Cup of Salvation out of his own hand he drinking to me and we cannot rest till we be in other's Arms. Epist 41. To my Lady Culross O to be snattering and swimming over Head and Ears in Christ's Love Blessed be my rich Lord Jesus who sendeth not away Beggers from his House with a toom-dish Epist 45. To John Keanedy It doth a Soul good to get a cuff with the lovely sweet and soft hand of Jesus what power and strength is in his Love I am perswaded it can climb up a steep Hill and Hell upon its back shame may confound and fear me once to hold up my black mouth to receive one of Christ's undeserved kisses Ep. 50. To James Bantie The best Regenerate have their defilements and if I may speak so their draff-pock that will clog behind them all their days if my Lord had not given me his love I would have fallen through the Causey of Aberdeen e're now but for you that hunger ye shall be filled e're you go there is as much in our Lord's Pantry as will satisfie all this Bairns and as much wine in his Cellar as will quench all their thirst I shall tell you what ye shall do treat him well give him the armed Chair and the board-head and make him welcome to the mean portion ye have Ep. 51. To John Stuart That miscarried Journey is with child to you of mercy and consolation and shall bring forth a fair birth and the Lord shall be midwife to the birth If our Lord ride upon a straw his Horse shall neither stumble nor fall Epist 53. To John Stuart Oh if my Lord will make dung of me to satten and make fertile his own corn-ridges in Mount Zion Ibid. God be pleased to take home in his house my Harlot-mother O if her Husband would be so kind as to go and fetch her out of the Brothel-house and chase her lovers to the hills but there will be sad days e're it come to that Epist 54 To my Lady Busby Wo's me that bits of living Clay dare come out to rush hard heads with him and that my unkind mother this Harlot Kirk hath given her sweet half-marrow such a meeting Epist 56. To Mr. Thomas Garvan I confidently believe that there is a Bed made for Christ and me and that we shall take our fill of love in it Epist 57. My riven dish and running-out vessel can hold little of Christ Jesus Ibid. It 's Christ's wisdom that his Bairns go wet-shod and cold-footed to Heaven Ep. 63. To the Earl of Cassils Many now would go to Heaven the Land-way for they love not to be Sea-sick riding up to Christ upon Foot-mantles and ratling Coaches and rubbing their Velvet with the Princes of the Land in the highest seats If this be the narrow way I quit all skill to the way of Salvation Ep. 89. to John Kennedy O that the Courts fenced in the name of the Bastard Prelates their Godfathers the Popes Bayliffs Sheriffs were cried down If this had not been I would have skinked over my part of Paradise for a breakfast of dead moth-eaten earth Ep. 92. To Mr. David Dickson I have been these two Sabbaths or three in private taking instruments in the name of God That my Lord Jesus and I have kissed each other in Aberdeen who can blame Christ to take me on behind him if I may say so on his white Horse thorow a water will not a Father take his little dated Davie in his arms and carry him over a Ditch or Mire my short legs could not step over this Lair or sinking mire and therefore c. Ep. 108. To Robert Gordon of Knoxbrex I love to be kissed and sit on Christ's knee but I cannot set my feet to the ground for afflictions bring the cramp upon my faith Ep. 118. To Bathia Aird At my first entry hither Christ and I agreed not well upon it now he 's content to kiss my black mouth to put his hand in mine and to feed me with as many consolations as would feed ten hungry souls yet I dare not say he is a waster of comforts Ep. 121. To Robert Gordon of Knocksbrek Christ seemeth to leave Heaven to say so and his Court and to come down to laugh and play and sport with a Daft bairn I deny nothing that the Mediator will challenge me of but I turn it all back upon himself let him look his own old Counts if he be angry for he will get no more of me Ep. 122. To Earleston There is a mystery of love in Christ that I never saw O that he would lay by the lap of the covering that is over it and let my greening soul see it I would break the door and be in upon him to get my womb full of love Ep. 128. To Mr. Hugh Henderson Christ shuffleth up and down in his hands the great Body of Heaven and Earth and Kirk and Commonwealth are in his hand like a stock of Cards and he dealeth the Play to the Mourners in Zion When Christ has sleeped out his sleep and his own are tried he will arise as a strong man after wine c. If Christ bud and grow green and bloom and bear seed again in Scotland and his Father send him two
preaching in Linton in Teviotdale said Our Bishops thought they were very secure this long time Like Willie Willie Wastel I am in my Castle A the Dogs in the Town Dare not ding me down Yea but there is a doggie in Heaven that has dung them all down Another preaching of the Dialogue betwixt God and Adam after his Fall Adam said he went to hide himself God comes to him and said where art thou man I am courring here Lord I 'le hazard twa and a plack saith God there is a whap in the Kape Ede has thou been at Barne-breaking Ede come out of thy holes and thy bores here Ede Mr. James Kirkson told several times in his Sermons at Edenling That the Devil had his Kirk-Government as well as God and would ye ken what a Government it is indeed it is a Presbyterian Government for he has his Minister and his Ruling Elder his Minister is the Pope and his Ruling-Elder is the King of France The same man once speaking of the Evils of the tongue said Your tongues Sirs are as foul as a dog's tongue when he licks Skitter before God it 's true But do not take this out of the House with you Sirs Mr. Matthew Selkirk preaching against keeping of days said They that keep †Yule-day Sirs deny that Christ came in the flesh and are rank Jews they keep that day in commemoration of J. Caesar the chief of the Jews Mr. Hugh Kennedy Moderator of the General Assembly being about to Christen a Child in the Colledg-Kirk looked about him and said Look Sirs and see the Devil painted in that Bairns face but we shall do the best we can to conjure him out I shall shortly nail his lug to Christ's trone till from a Calf he grow up to an Ox to draw in Christ's Plow Mr. Arskine in the Tron-Church said That the work of the Lord is like to be ruin'd for there are two sorts of people that have taken their hands from the work of the Lord. First the Malignants that never laid their hands to it 2ly The Court-party but you Lasses and Lads put your shoulders to that work take a good lift of it for it will not break your backs and ye can never use your backs in a better work One Mr. Robert Gourly preaching on the Woman of Canaan how our Saviour called her a Dog told Sirs some of you may think that our Saviour spake very improperly for he should have called her a Bitch but to this I answer a Dog is the Masculine or Feminine Gender there is a He-dog and a She-dog But you will ask why did he miscall the poor Woman and call her a Dog There are God's Dogs and the Devils Dogs she was God's Dog not the Devil's Dog Mr. Sheilds in a Sermon at Aberdeen told the people the only way to hold a fast grip of Christ was to entertain him with three Liquors in three sundry Bickers you must have a pint of hope three pints of faith and nine pints of hot hot hot burning zeal One Mr. Strange preaching on Act 2. 37 38. before several Ladies of the best Quality of our Kingdom They were pricked at their hearts said Some of you are come hither the day to get a prick I fear few of you have gotten a prick but some of you may get a prick within a short time And seeing some laugh he said Do not mistake me Sirs It is not a natural prick I mean but a prick at the heart I mean not the pricks of the flesh but the pricks of the spirit the sweet prick of Conscience One Mr. James Wilson now in Kirkmeddon in Galloway told That Faith had wonderful effects For by faith Noah saw the deluge before it came But I will tell you a far more wonderful effect of Faith than that John the Baptist saw Christ through twa wymbs was not that a clear-ey'd little one 〈…〉 One Mr. Melvin being sent by the Presbytery to the Parish of Monzie in Struthern to prepare the people by a Sermon for receiving a Presbyterian Minister in the place of Mr. Drammond a person of great Learning who was deprived at the false suggestions of a Weaver in that Parish whom he saved from the Gibbet in King Charles 2d's time the said Mr. Melvin Lecturing on this Text Touch not mine Anointed and do my Prophets no harm said The Kings and the great folks and the cursed Bishops for sooth were seeking to destroy God's own people but as sturk as they were God is starker and bad them bide back bide back pointing with his finger this is my folk they are none of your folks and so God keeped his own poor people Sirs except some few that were hanged but Oh Sirs it 's a sweet sweet denth to go off the Gallows to God for the holy Covenant But for these cursed Bishops and Curates Sirs that were leading many poor souls to Hell this long time Sirs ye see they are now put out they are put out yea they are e'en trampled under our feet This is attested by a person that then lived within two miles of the place and heard him Mr. Areskine in the Trone-Church proposed in a Sermon What is the new man He made this learned Answer in a Melancholy long tone It is the new man Mr. Kirton lately in the Church he possesses at Edinburgh began his Sermon thus Devil tuke me soul and body The people startling at the expression he anticipates their wonder with this correction You think Sirs this a strange word in the Pulpit out you think nothing of it out of Pulpit but what if the Devil should tuke many of you when ye utter such Language Another time preaching against Cockupps he told I have been this year of God preaching against the vanity of Women yet I see my own Daughter in the Kirk even now have as high a Cockupp as any of you all Another time giving the Sacramens of the Lord's Supper in Crummond at the breaking of the Bread he told the Participants Take eat Sirs your Bread is baken And that was all the form he used as one of the Communicabsts told me the day after A Presbyterian Preacher in the Parish of Killpatrick Easter above Glasgow in whose Parish there is one Captain Sanderson a Church of England man who is looked on there by them as a rank Papist he once went to Church to see their way The Preacher seeing him in Church took a Fourteen our of his Pocket and held it up before the Congregation expressing these words Here I take instrument in the hand of God that tho a man be pardoned of all his original and actual sins yet if he neglect to 〈◊〉 our Fasts he shall never go to Heaven The Preacher owns what he said and did And the Captain desires the thing to be published in his name he being ready to justifie it upon any occasion Mr. William
hast rejected that we seek it is King Christ that has been a stranger these many years in poor Scotland It is reported of Mr. Robert Blair at St. Andrews that he had this expression in his Prayers Lord thou art a good Goose for thou art still dropping And severals in the Meeting-houses of late have made use of it to which they add Lord thou rains down middings of blessings upon us Mr. Anderson a Phanatick Preacher in Perthshire in a Prayer said Good Lord it is told us That thou knows a proud man by his looks as well as a malignant by his works but what tilt thou do with these malignants I 'll tell thee Lord what thou wilt do Even take them up by the heels and reest them in the Chimney of Hell and dry them like Bervy Haddocks Lord take the Pistol of thy Vengeance and the Mortar-piece of thy Wrath and make the hairns of these malignants a hodge podge but for thy own Bairns Lord feed them with the Plumdames and Raisons of thy Promises and e'en give them the Spurs of Confidence and Boots of Hope that like new spean'd fillies they may soup over the fold-dikes of Grace A learned Divine of that Sett at Pitsligo in his publick Prayer this last Summer said O Lord thou' rt like a Mousie peeping out at the hole of a Wall for thou sees us but we see not thee Mr. William Moncrif whom I named before pag. after his Sermon is Summer last at Largo in Fife in the Intercession of his Prayer said O God establish and confirm thy Church in Scotland and defend her from her bloody and cruel Enemies Popery and Prelacy O Lord prosper thy reformed Churches of Portugal and Piedmont and of the rest of the Low Countries and carry on thy work which is begun in Ireland and sweet good Lord finally begin and carry on a work in England Mr. Shields preaching near Dumfreis in his Prayer for K William said Good Lord bless him with a stated opposition in his Heart to the Antichristian Church of England and with Grace to destroy all the Idolatry and Superstition of their foolish and foppish Worship and bless all the people of the Land with Strength Zeal and Courage throughly to reform the State as well as the Church in these Kingdoms that they may be untied in the Bond of the Solemn League and Covenant and purified according to that pattern in the Mount which we and our Posterity are all sworn to Mr. John Welsh pray'd Lord we are come hither a pack of poor Beggers of us the day alms to the poor blind here for God's sake that never saw the light of the Gospel alms to the poor deaf here that never heard the joyful sound to the poor Cripples that have their Legs the Covenant broken by the Bishops Lord pity thy poor Kirk the day poor Woman sad is she Lord lend her a lift and God confound that filthy bitch that Gumgal'd Whore the Whore of Babylon One Mr. Hustone said Lord give us Grace for if theu give us not Grace we shall not give thee Glory and who will win by that Lord One Bâ—rlands in Gallowshiels a blasphemous ignorant Blockhead said in his Prayers before Sermon Lord when thou was electing to Eternity grant that we have not got a wrong cast of thy hand to our Souls Another time praying at Jedburgh he said Lord confound the Tyrant of France God's Vengeance light on him the Vengeance of God light on him God's Vengeance light on him but if he be of the Election of Grace Lord save him Lord confound the Antichristian crew in Ireland indeed Lord for the great man time heads them God knows we wish not his destruction we wish him Repentance of his sins but not the rest As for the crew of the Church of England that 's gone in to fight against them they are as profane a crew as themselves Lord but thou can make one man destroy another for the Interest of the people of God and to give Gods people Elbow-room in the Land One who is now a Head of a Colledge and is look't upon by the party as their great Advocate and Oracle in a publick Congregation at Edenburgh 1690 in his Prayer had these words which one that heard them and immediately committed them to Writing shewed to me O Lord give us give us good Lord but Lord you 'll may be say to us Ye are always troubling me what shall I give you now but Lord whatever thou says we know that thou in thy hart likes such trouble and now I 'll tell thee what thou should give us Lord I 'll not be greedy nor misleard now Lord then only give us thy self in earnest of better things Good Lord what have ye been doing all this time where have you been this 30 year What good have ye done to your poor Kirk in Scotland that has been so many years spurgal'd with Antichrist's riding her she has been long lying on her back and sadly defiled and many a good lift have we lent her O how often have we put our Shoulders to Christs Cause when his own back was at the Wall to be free with you Lord we have done many things for thee that never enter'd in thy noddle and yet we are content that thou take all the glory is not that fair and kind It 's true good Lord you have done gelly well for Scotland now at last and we hope that thou hast begun and will carry ony thy work in England that stands muckle in mister of a Reformation but what have you done for Ireland Lord ah poor Ireland then pointing with his Finger to his Nose he said I true I have nickt you there Lord. O God thou hast bidden us pray for Kings and yet they have been always very troublesome to thy Kirk and very fasious Company Lord either make them good or else make us quite of their Company They say that this new King thou hast sent us takes the Sacrament kneeling and from the hand of a Bishop ah that 's black that 's fowl work Lord deliver him from Papary and Prelacy from a Dutch Conscience and from the hardheartedness of the Stewarts and let us never be trysted again with the bag and baggage of the Family the black band of Bishops to trouble and lord it over thy Church and Heritage Good Lord send back our old King of poor Scotland restore him to his Throne and Dignity to his absolute Power and Superemacy from which he he hat been so long and so unjustly banished Lord you ken what King I mean I do not mean K. James na forsooth I do no mean him I mean Lord you ken well enough wha I mean I mean sweet K. Jesus that 's been long kept out of this his own Covenanted Kingdom by the Bishops and Godless Act of Supremacy Lord I have many more tales to