but coldly and for custome sake at the Church and God accepteth no more of their worship they do there then they loue and like of his gouernment in their houses The Gouernours of families if as it is in mariage there be more then one vpon whom the charge of gouernment lieth though vnequally are first the chiefe gouernour which is the Husband secondly a fellow-helper which is the Wife These both do owe duties to their familie and dutie one to another The duties they ow to their familie both concerning godlinesse and the things of this life belong either to the Husband especially or to the Wife especially The duties that belong to the Husband touching holinesse are such as either He must 1. Performe to them of his familie 2. Or require of them The duties which he must performe to them are first touching the publike ministery of the Word to prouide that they may liue vnder an ordinary ministery of the word or else to take order that alwayes vpon the Sabbath and at other times when it may be they resort to such places where they may haue the word ministred vnto them for else how shall they be brought into the Sheepfold of God from which naturally they go 〈◊〉 but by hearing the voyce of the chiefe Sheep-heard speaking vnto them by those whom he sendeth How shall they belieue and so be begotten againe by the seede of the word except they heare such as God sendeth for the begetting of men vnto him How shall they be reconciled vnto God but by hearing his messengers into whose mouthes he hath put the word of reconciliation How shall they grow in faith and increase in grace but by receiuing with meeknesse the ingrafted word which is able to saue their soules Seeing then the word preached is the meanes to beget men to a new life and to nourish them in it a great dutie lyeth vpon the Gouernours of Familyes to prouide by some meanes that they may haue it For where the word is not preached there the Lords Sabbath cannot be hallowed as it ought Now the Lord would not onely haue Maisters of Families to keepe holy the Sabbath themselues in all the parts of his worship publike and priuate but also that euery one should in his seueral place and roome carefully to take order that so many as be committed to his charge should sanctifie the Lords day as well as himselfe Which though it be true in all other commandements namely that whatsoeuer we are bound to do our selues we must be meanes to further others in doing the same because the loue of God and of our Neighbour spreadeth it selfe ouer all the Commandements and therfore though it be not expressed it is necessarily vnderstood yet in the fourth commandemēt it is so much the more required because besides the analogie and proportion betweene it and the other Commandements which do enforce it the very words themselues do binde vs thereunto For when it is said Thou and thy Sonne and thy Daughter thy Man-sernant and thy Mayde though it speaketh by name onely of resting vpon the Sabbath yet because the end of that is that the day might be sanctisied looke how many reasons there be to binde the inferiours to rest and the superiours to prouide that they do so indeed so many are there to compell them to sanctifie the day in their owne persons and in so many as belong vnto them Therefore when first of all it is generally said in this fourth Commandement Remember the sabbath-Sabbath-day that thou keepe it holy And afterwards The seuenth day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God that is which must be dedicated vnto his seruice in the end you must therfore rest that you might serue him in it as he requireth and then nameth the seueral parties that should rest His meaning is to declare the right end of their resting and so speaking by name to the Gouernours saith Thou and thy sonne and thy daughter thy man-seruant and thy maid the stranger that is within thy gates to shew vnto them that it is not sufficient for them to looke that they vnder their gouernmēt should rest vnlesse they sanctifie the day of rest also which they must be so much carefull of by how much the sanctification of the day is greater then the ceassing to worke vpon it as the end whereunto this is but referred and therefore if it be a sinne in them at any time not to haue a sufficient regard vnto them that they do not worke then it must needes be a great sinne if that through their negligence they do not sanctifie and keepe holy the day of rest So that here the Lord God requireth that in all places there should be such good lawes publickly in the Common wealth and priuately in mens houses established and diligently executed as thereby not onely the rulers but also all in subiection should be compelled to sanctifie the Lords day and that they should be sure they do it indeed And as he must not leaue it indifferent to them to choose whether they will work or rest and so thinke it sufficient that they do not lay any worke vpon them So is it not enough that they hinder them not from seruing God vpon that day vnlesse they procure all the meanes vnto them whereby God might be worshipped of them and see that they worship God in them as well as themselues Therefore the maisters of families must prouide as much as lyeth in them that the word be publikely preached where they dwell not for themselues alone but for their children and seruants take that they might keepe holy the day together with them and they must not onely come themselues to the place of common-prayer and diuine seruice but bring these also with them and spend the rest of the day in all priuate godly exercises themselues and cause others to do so also And here lest this might seeme too heauie vnto vs and that it might not be grieuous to take so great a charge vpon vs we must remember that as we haue great helpe by our inferiours in many things so the Lord woud haue vs to helpe them in the chiefe and princîpall and as he hath made them our seruants so we should make them his seruants and when they haue serued vs sixe dayes we might cause them to serue him vpon the seuenth And as the Lord hath preferred vs aboue them with their seruice so he would humble vs with this charge and care ouer them or rather exalt vs in that he would haue vs to be as it were the ouerseers of his worke and not onely serue him our selues but also see his seruice done by others committed to our charge which if ye do not wherein shall the Christian Gouernours of Householdes differ from the Infidels and Heathen and what greater thing shall we do for our Seruants then they Nay what shall we do more for them then
for the bruite beasts and cattell that worke vnder vs to whom we giue rest and ease from labour vpon the Sabbath if we cause them not to Sanctifie the day of Rest in which they shall differ from all other not onely Beasts but Men. And this is the meaning of that Law which Moses gaue to the Israelites Commaunding them to write the word of God vpon the Postes of their houses and vpon their Gates Whereby all vnder gouernment were taught what should be required of them so long as they liued in those houses namely to serue God and all gouernours were taught what specially to looke after in all them that went in and out of their gates and liued vnder the roofe of their houses euen to serue the Lord in all parts of his worship for which end he hath giuen them such authoritié ouer them According to which Commandément the worthie Captaine of Gods people Iehoshua made this protestation before all the Elders of Israel a little before his death exhorting them to do the like I and mine house will serue the Lord promising not onely for himselfe but for all his which though it was too hard to do yet because he knew how many meanes the Lord had giuen him to bring it to passe which also God would blesse as all godly exhortations admonitions and chastisements whereby if they did not profit he had authoritie to thrust them out of his house and to rid himselfe of them all which he was purposed to put in practise therefore he was bold thus to speake of himselfe thereby shewing what all men should propound to themselues and may attaine vnto The like whereof Dauid speaketh of himselfe in that worthie Psalme 101. which is left as a patterne for all Christian gouernours to rule by wherein he sheweth how he would rule not onely himselfe but his household nay the whole kingdome by hauing an eye to them that were good to reward them and to them that were bad to punish them that so not onely himselfe but all his might serue the Lord. After the same manner in the time of the Captiuitie when the noble Queene Hester willed all the dispersed Iewes to keepe holy three dayes together in fasting and prayer that so they might intreate the Lord to deliuer them from that finall destruction and vtter ruine which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworne enemie of Gods people had determined to bring vpon them speedily she said That she and her maides would do the like Hest. 4. 16. Whereby no doubt she insinuated vnto them that in euery household her meaning was that it should be thorowly kept on all sides not onely of the rulers and some few but of all others euen vnto the maid seruants Now the Sabbath and the day of Fast are both of one nature as the word doth sufficiently beare witnesse Therefore if this hath bene the practise of the Church vpon that day to fast and not the chiefe alone but their families also then must we needes be perswaded that vpon the Lords day we ought our selues and our households to serue the Lord and to say with Ioshua I and mine house will serue the Lord and with Hester I and my seruants will doe the like And how could that haue bene verified of the religious captaine Cornelius which is written of him That he was a deuout man and one that feared God with all his household vnlesse he had not onely frequented the common assemblies vpon the Sabbath dayes but had also acquainted his seruants therewith Therefore as the Lord himselfe speaketh of Abraham who is the father of all beleeuers I know that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to do righteousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So it must be practised of all them that will be the children of this faithfull Abraham and enioy the same promise that he and his posterity did euen that they cause their children and their seruants to keepe holy the Sabbath wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord that so they might walke in that way which hath the promises of this life and the life to come So then it may most euidently appeare both by the words of the Commandement and by the practise of the best men in the old and new Testament that this dutie is laid vpon all householders diligentlyto ouersee the wayes of their families that they serue God as in all other duties so especially in sanctifying the Sabbath as they will answer to the contrary at their perill to him that hath put them in authoritie and as they will giue an account for their soules which otherwise might perish through their default Which though it be so strictly required of all men and vnder so great a paine laide vpon them yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that we may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it For besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therefore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or play and to do any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and do encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words there be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue indeed yet either through ignorance or negligence do not once looke to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and continue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bene already spoken concerning this matter that they do too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answer in his businesse which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe dayes when their seruants are in their owne businesse they wil not let them come and go at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they be at their worke but will be sure of it and therefore set them to it looke vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it be well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not then needs be a great vnkindnesse and vnthankfulnesse
in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needes be a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and carelesse in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can be in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernement namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their maisters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kind of reward is this when hauing bestowed some earthly benefite vpon them by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie the Sabbaths they do in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who in spending their time all the sixe dayes hauing almost nothing therein to do are seldome looked vnto vpon the seuenth day but permitted to bestow it as vainly as the other and as they neuer almost do any good dayes worke to their maisters so much lesse do they spend any Sabbath in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or else they are readie to depart before halfe be ended so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he should haue by them themselues from that blessing which they should idherit that way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpon themselues their masters that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabbath And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should do them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishouour of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the host of the Philistins and drew water and brought it to him but he would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering vnto the Lord and said Oh Lord be it farre from me that I should do thus is not this the bloud of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate and drinke of that for which their seruants do venter the liues of their soules And besides if we iustly find fault with them who do neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they be blamelesse who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needs be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the place where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it But whereas men are ready to obiect that in a great family many must needs be absent We grant it to be true in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily and so continually as they themselues in their own cōsciences are priuie to who make this question we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keepe him in a continuall breach of the Sabbath and therefore both maister and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholy yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabbath day And we know where there is great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mis-spent namely by letting passe many needlesse things by preparing so much before as conueniently may be by rising so much the more earlie in the morning and by the interchangeable helpe of our seruants especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse though not in quantitie for the reliefe of others yet with lesse exquisite and curious dressing which especially taketh vp the time and so we are sure and they that will trie it in the feare of God and with a care to serue him and in a loue to the soules of their brethren shall find it to be true by experience that many might keep holy the Sabbarh which now do it not at all others might keepe it more then they do Which if yet it be thought vnpossible because we go not about to practise it let vs but obserue that which we shall see done in the house when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire and the maister is as willing to let him go you would wonder to see how things shall be dispatched vp suddenly and in good order they shal be absent many houres and yet not greatly missed if any thing be otherwise then is vsuall it is horne with because it is a day of prouision for themselues and that day is not euery day So then if the maisters were perswaded of the Lords day as they ought to be euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants as they are for their bodies and did esteeme it more for their worship credit that their seruants were religious then that they were costly well set out in apparel they would be better contented to spare them during the time of that market where they may buy without money all the graces of Gods Spirit and the riches of the kingdome of heauen whereby they should not onely saue their owne soules but be made more fit to do duties to their maisters of conscience Therefore to end this point it is the duty of all houshold gouernours to cause the whole familie to be in a readinesse to attend vpon them too and fro the Church and that it be not left at euery mans discretion to come when he wil but that they should go together And indeed this hath bene the orderly comming of
Gods people in times past to the place of his worship that they haue not come scattered and alone but many together and by companies whereof the holy Prophet speaketh When I remembred these things I powred out my very heart because I had gone with the multitude and led them into the house of God with the voice of singing and praises as a multitude that keepeth a feast In which place the man of God complaining that he was banished from the holy Assemblies saith that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate when he vsed to go with a great companie to the Temple euen as to a feast whereby he declareth what was the manner of their going euen as men go to a market or to a feast not onely with ioy but also by companies and so many of one house as go will go together So they did not onely go to the house of God cheerefully but many of them together euen as to the market and feast of their soules By which practise of theirs as the doing of many is condemned so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit then they were and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they go vnto For all the people nay the seuerall housholds come not together but scattered and one dropping after another in a confused manner First comes the man then a quarter of an houre after his wife and after her we cannot tel how long especially the maid-seruants who must needs be as long after her as the men-seruants are after him Whereby it commeth to passe that either half the seruice of God is done before all be met or else if the Minister tarry till there be a sufficient congregation the first commers may be weary and sometimes cold with tarrying before the other shal be warme in their seates Now if it be demanded of the maisters why they alone make such hast and leaue all the rest behind them they answer truly because the time is come wherin vsually publike prayer beginneth can they be perswaded that it is time for themselues to come as it is indeed and yet no time for the rest to come with them Hath the maister no longer time to tarry and haue his seruants time to tarry so long after him As though there were one law for him and another for them or rather that the same law of the Sabbath which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doth did not as forciblie bind them all as himselfe nay did not binde him to looke to them that they should keep holy the day as well as himself which if he graunt to be true yet is not able to bring it to passe where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake partly through the frowardnesse of his wife and partly through the obstinacy of the rest in his familie his case is to be pittied and he is rather to be gouerned then to gouerne and he might do well to set vp one of them in his stead seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused and is contented to be ouer-ruled by them in the chiefest thing Therefore that he might bring this matter happily to passe as he must go before them by his owne example and be readie betimes euen first of all so he must earnestly call vpon them for this dutie and exhort them vnto it and the slower that they are and the more they draw backe the more fotward must he be and by his practise and words draw them forwards also For this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time I reioyced when they said vnto me we will go into the house of the Lord or Let vs go to the house of the Loŕd for they are words of exhorting and incouraging one another thereunto euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth that this shall be the zeale of Gods people in the time of the Gospell that they shall go together to serue God and therefore call vpon one another for the same purpose saying It shall be in the last dayes that the mountaine of the house of the Lord shall be prepared in the top of the mountaines and shall be exalted ' aboue the hils and all nations shall flow vnto it and many people shall go and say Come and let vs go vp to the mountaine of the Lord to the house of the God of Iacob And truely this want of zeale in vs to Gods worship and loue to the saluation of our brethren bewraying it selfe in the neglect of this duty of calling one vpon another is the cause of this slownesse For the husband going first out of the doores saith to the wife Make hast and come assoone as you can she comming at her leisure giues the same charge to her seruants Dispatch and tarry not long behind but here is no saying Come let vs go Let vs go together and if it be once said it is not pursued that it might be performed In going to market and to a feast what earnest calling will there be vpon one another and it would seeme strange to behold the houshold go diuided and it were a thing that would much be marked and euery one that knew vs and whither we were going it should be the first question they would ask vs How chanceth this that you come alone Where is your husband your wife or your children Why come you not together So no doubt the dispersed and broken comming of housholdes to the Church is a thing greatly obserued of the Lord God and of his Angels which are present at their assemblies and it is that which grieueth the rest of the Church and as soon as they see one come in alone they are ready with grief to ask Where are the rest What meaneth this partie to come alone Therefore let all Gouernours be perswaded that it is their bounden dutie thus to looke to their families and to be sure that they sanctifie the Lords day as well as themselues and that they not onely thus bring them to the publike ministerie but also looke vnto them that they spend the rest of the day in holy exercises so much as may be examining them in that which they haue heard and causing them to conferre about it themselues and to appoint some to reade the Scripture vnto them and all of them to sing Psalmes and generally whatsoeuer they haue seene before that they ought to do themselues to call vpon their seruants for the same and to take such order that they be sure they do it and let them be sory that they haue neglected this duty so long heretofore thereby haue charged so many sinnes of their houshold vpon themselues and now at the last in Gods holy feare let them begin to put this in practise lest they do further prouoke the most patient Lord to their endlesse destruction And though it be a thing
helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how can hope sustaine these men that others will performe this duty for them to whom this charge doth farre lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remember that therefore they haue disordered and disobedient children to themselues because they haue bene disobedient children to the Lord and disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou maist haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed Bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seede and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seede then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may be an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou ô man ô woman that maist do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for them and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastors paines and the teachers trauell but if thou despisest these duties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon the childe at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God and blesse thy seede if thou beest faithfull thou mayest bothe hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seede and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seede is accursed But had not Iacob wicked children and Dauid vngodly sonnes and doth not daily experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the Couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good childe yet if vnto a thousand generations there be but one good the Couenant is not broken Noither must we tye the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an cuill sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet he may visit the sinnes of some of his fore-fathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second we say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercy to that particular man therein yet he may remember his promise to some of the fore-fathers in the thousand generations going before and though that euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following Wherefore not speaking of Election or Reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God as heires of the couenant or at least be comforted in their owne consciences If their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it yet they may reioyce in this that to the vttermost of their ability they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well and offered them to God And if parents haue cause to be grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griese may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Symeon to depart in peace leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord So in death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him How as much as he could he hath helped them forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut-throat of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their owne soules before the Lord either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and bloud then such as might be like Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their off-spring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they either prophanely neglected all good education or monstroufly misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to do to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they do lye in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soule Let all parents remember that they are bound by the law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest
which haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and are fit for procreation are called and commanded to marrie and therefore may lawfully enter a Contract of the same But are none else meete for marriage We answer that no other is called commanded or warranted by God to make Contract with any of these meet ones because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage As for children vnder age they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate and therefore debarred by Gods Commandement from making any promise or Contract If they haue done it it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance worthy great punishment and also to be broken if that being come to yeares of discretion and state of mariage they do not by wisedome and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attempt to the full contentation of all that haue interest in them As for those that haue receiued the gift of continency they are called counselled to chastity during the whole time of that gift for so saith our Sauiour Christ All men cannot receiue this thing aue they to whom it is giuen Matth. 19. 11. And againe He that is able to receiue this let him receiue it So the Apostle saith It is good for them if they abide euen as I do 1. Cor. 7. 7. Againe Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife So likewise are those that are borne chast or made chast by men or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen But you will say What if any of these do make a Contract and marry We answer first if they be vtterly vnfit for marriage their contract is of no validitie and may be broken by superiour authority but if they be fit for it we say with the Apostle Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife but if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not and if a virgine marrie she sinneth not c. Last of all as consanguinity and affinitie do restraine and bind from this former Contract and marriage so likewise do naturall frigidity and coldnesse infancie incurable diseases that depriue men of all fitnesse for the vse of marriage So as if any such by fraud ignorance or any other sinister meanes be contracted it is nothing and the parties may be lawfully separated because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord but against the Lord. And here when we say meete and fit to marrie one with another there would be a wise and holy regard had of equality in yeares of agreement in religion or similitude in nature and manners outward estate and condition qualitie of person and such like necessary circumstances For what is more vnmeete then for an old person to promise to be contracted to a young one for an infidell to Contract with a beleeuer for a good natured and well mannered with a crooked and froward person for a Prince with a begger For although all these do not annihilate and make voyde the Contract altogether yet such Contracts cannot be in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to haue taught touching the fitnesse of Marriage Now concerning the freedome and libertie it is cleere that those alone haue liberty freedome to Contract who haue liberty to marry Now if we will know who those be they are diuersly described and noted in Leu. 18. where certaine degrees as well in affinity as in consanguinity are expresly forbidden so that if such parties shall Contract themselues together their Contract is vaine and a meere nullity such as ought to be broken and punished Againe euery one either betrothed or maried is bounden and tied from contracting with any other for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adultery And as the Apostle teacheth that the wife is bound by the Law as long as her husband liueth so likewise is the betrothed wife insomuch as if any such shall Contract themselues with another it is a meere nullity and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance and ought vpon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished And thus we see what manner of persons the Lord hath called and commanded to marry and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together and who not The last point is the consent and allowance of their parents which though it be very materiall and necessary yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true Contract For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children being neither meete nor free to be married together it were nothing such a Contract though warranted by parents cōsent ought to be broken by the Magistrate and both parents and children are to be punished For this cause we haue not said simply and allowed but therefore allowed so to do because consent of parents to such children as are not meete and fit to be married together doth not make that Contract good true and inuiolable which neuerthelesse wanting their consents though in other respects neuer so good is a meere nullity cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution and guilt of adulterie Now by parents we vnderstand not onely the naturall parents but such as by the law of nature and of God supply their places as grandfathers great grand-fathers vncles aunts great vncles and aunts brethren sisters kins-men and kins-women Magistrates and those to whose families the parties do especially belong For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of parents Neither may we exempt out of this number Gardians Maisters and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any is lawfully committed For if such be commanded to prouide for them as parts of their owne families there is no reason why they should not especially be respected as well in bestowing them abroad out of their familie as they were in taking them into it For if their consent be necessarie at their coming in why should they go out without their consent Further we say their parents and not his or her parents because parents on both sides ought necessarily to consent and allow their children to betroth themselues For this is the priuiledge not of some parents but of all and in that they be parents Moreouer we say allowed and not required neither commanded nor yet exhorted or instructed so to do because that albeit the parents do neither call their children to this Contract neither command them neither require them neither exhort them all which notwithstanding they ought to do yet if they do but onely allow them and giue them bare consent that they shall contract themselues it is enough for the tying of the knot and the substance of the Contract And to prooue that this contract is necessary we need no more reasons but that which the Apostle setteth downe saying of the father Let him do what he will By which words he putteth it in the will and power of the father either to
the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answer at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to be made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demanded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to be required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like 1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete till such time I take thee for my onely betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to be done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of parents kinsfolks and friends After this the parents are to be admonished to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neare nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinency In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed do come And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage it is very necessary for these causes 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts men and betwixt the prophane and his children for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner being led by a naturall 〈◊〉 and motion come together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should 〈◊〉 seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of marriage For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse So that in his house you shall find the chast wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor marked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her family seruants and children the maister father and husband the children and seruants euery one likewise in his degree employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approuing his doings as before God Now like as in the mind there are such vertues as we haue before spoken of so are 〈◊〉 in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeliefe idolatrie superstition ignorance churlishnesse lying falshood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbiting distemperance drunkennesse gluttony couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshame fastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vain-glory childing brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or the a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices he seeketh not a spouse 〈◊〉 she a husband for a right peaceable good honest and Christian life but an hell a painefulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to be hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word bring all vice and abhominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This cometh of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these carnall cloudie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them After the riches of the mind do the riches of the bodie follow next of which sort is a comely beautifull or well-fauoured body health a conuenient age c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape meete and of strength to beare children and gouerne an house euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other and to be content withall c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body where there is else no good property or qualitie beside Salomon saith Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is vanitie but the woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion or is of vncomely behauiour and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery and more profitable to those that behold it then to those that haue it The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie but a little as it were in a glasse and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill She that is faire waxeth proud of it and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vnto filthy loue But in the mind which is iudged to be the man consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue being mixt with nothing that is shamefull either to be done or spoken And therefore there is no man so farre without wit that had not rather haue her which
a remedy for their infirmity do neuerthelesse ouerflow in adulterie Yet it is not enough onely to abstaine from this abhomination vnlesse we also forbeare from euery thing that may seeme to tend thereunto or to continue any beginning apparence allurement or occasion of euill First because that by the Law all this is forbidden euen in these expresse words Thou shalt not commit adultery For the word adulterie comprehendeth all prouocations gestures specches yea euen vnchast lookes And therefore saith Iesus Christ He that looketh vpon another mans wife to lust after her bath alreadie committed adulterie with her in his heart Next that we preuent all occasions of iealousie a most dangerous disease and of great difficultie to cure For where either the husband or the wife is tainted with iealousie they belecue euery word that they heare spoken touching their passion albeit it beare no apparence of truth And therefore Christian husbands and wiues must so beare themselues that they incurre no suspition of enill but rather they ought to practise this as wel to auoide occasion of offence as for feare lest iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate The care and burthen to maintaine their family is common to them both yet so as properly the husband is to get it and to bring it in and the wife to order and dispose it Howbeit the dutie of the wife or of the husband doth not so exempt either of them but that she also according to her ability and power must helpe her husband to get it and he likewise in his discretion direct her in the dispensation thereof He that doth not orderly gouerne his house shall inherite the winde saith Salomon And order consisteth in this that the husband follow his businesse traffique or calling without any molestation of the wife who ought not to meddle or controle him therein but with great discretion and gentlenesse as also the husband is not to deale but soberly and in great discretion with affaires that are proper to the wife The man is iealous of his authority and reputation and the woman inclined to respect her selfe to be despised Wherefore as the husband cannot well abide that his wife should shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then himselfe so cannot the wife suffer that her husband should despise and account her a foole by medling with her small houshold affaires As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid to the end their marriage may be quiet themselues liue together in loue euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband and a prodigall and slothfull wife are two ready wayes to destruction The husband that hath such a wife casteth his labours into a bottomles sacke and the wife that is matched with such a husband draweth a cart heauy loden through a sandy way without a horse Such a husband especially if idlenesse draw him to loue and haunt ale-houses and tauernes is cruell to his wife and children and such a wife confounds her husband and bringeth reproach and pouertie to her whole family The remedy for the husband that hath such a wife is patience with discret admonition and prayer to God as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband is tolleration gentle exhortation and cheerefull and louing entertainment of her husband whereby to enduce him willingly to keepe home They are also to be mutuall helpers each to other in matters concerning their owne saluation and the seruice of God First if one of them as saith the Apostle be an vnbeleeuer the other must labour to draw his partie to the knowledge of the truth Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife of contrary religions not to part but to dwell together addeth a notable reason saying What knowest thou ó man whether thou shalt saue thy selfe or thou ô woman whether thou shalt saue thy husband therein declaring that the faithfull person in duty is to labour and endeuour to winne his party to the knowledge of truth and so to saue her Saint ' Peter exhorteth wiues to be subiect to their husbands albeit vnbeleeuers and such as ' obey not the word that so without speech by their holy and vertuous conuersation they may 〈◊〉 them Secondly if both be beleeuers their duty is to confirme and strengthen each other in the time of persecution that they constantly follow Iesus Christ. They are also each to helpe and comfort other if either of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne They ought also each to perswade other to charitie to releeue the poore diligently to frequent Sermons to vse prayers and supplications and praise and thanksgiuing to the Lord to comfort each other in the time of affictions to be short either to exhort other to walke in the feare of God and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus hostesse exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the Prophet to lodge in Saint Paul also saith that women desirous to learne should question with their husbands at home Wherby he sheweth that the husband ought to be so instructed as that he may be ready to instruct his wife at home And therefore the husband after the example of the Bee should euery where gather euery good instruction that he might be able to impart it to his wife and by hauing a communication acquaint her therewith There are other duties which be common both to the husband and the wife as among the rest such as proceed of the vnion coniunction of marriage whereof it is said They are one slesh Gen. 2. 24. Matth. 19. 5. And of this vnion proceedeth the mutuall loue betwixt them For no man saith the Apostle hateth his owne flesh but loueth and cherisheth it But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall loue is the vnitie of marriage whereby the husband and the wife are made one flesh the husband as the head the wife as the bodie it followeth that this loue must be stedfast not variable and that the vnion of marriage continue notwithstanding whatsoeuer befall either the husband or the wife Notwithstanding whatsoeuer complexions we say natures and infirmities may appeare whatsoeuer sicknesse losse of goods iniuries griefes or other inconueniences that may arise yet so long as the foundation of loue that is the vnion of marriage doth continue so long must loue and affection remaine God commandeth vs to loue our neighbours as our selues because they be of our flesh Albeit therefore that he contemne hate offend or wrong vs albeit he be our enemie and in respect of himselfe deserueth not that we should loue him yet because he is of our flesh the foundation of loue remaining we must loue him How much rather ought they to put this in practise who by the bond of marriage are made one flesh the rather because the vnion betweene man and wife is
the bodie is commonly well affected euen so where the head or chiefe of any familie or houshold is religious and sound in the faith and feareth God it commonly goeth well with all the houshold What shall it auaile for parents to teach their children honestie and modestie when they themselues in their workes and behauiours do inuite them to wantonnesse and lewdnesse Verball instruction without example of good deedes is a dead doctrine and contrariwise good examples are the life of instruction to make it profitable and effectuall If the example of parents be contrarie to their instructions if they teach their children sobrietie modestie and chastitie and yet themselues will follow drunkennesse fowle lasciuious speeches gestures and actions it is as if with their tongues they should say be vertuous and by the hands leade them with them to all vice and corruption So that wicked parents are wicked counsellors to their children If we would take him to be a monster in nature and vnworthie to liue in a Common-wealth that should counsell his child to drunkennesse and fornication what shall we thinke of those who committing such iniquitie do by their example much more mightily put forwards their children to such abhomination then by word they are able What account can those parents giue vnto God who by their euill example haue drawne into hell their children whom he deliuered to their charge to be giuen into heauen Albeit such parents pittie not themselues yet at least let them take pitie of their children and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction Such parents then deserue grieuously to be reprooued as shall vse any leude speeches or shamelesse behauiour in briefe any worldly or carnall actions in the presence of their children to whom their examples may be as a dispensation to giue themselues to the like As also how can they forbid that in their children which they themselues do commit How can they correct them for the faults which they themselues vse Albeit children in respect and reuerence to their parents dare not reply and say themselues do those things for the which they reproue them yet will the neighbours or others obiect it to their shame Besides their authority shall be so much the lesse in that they declare in their workes and actions that they allow that which they forbid in words If parents therefore desire that their instruction may be effected and yeeld fruite let them declare the same in holy life and vertuous conuersation let them so order and gouerne themselues that their children seeing the same as it were in a glasse may be restrained from dishonest speech and wicked deeds let them do as guides that shew the right way ouer foords and riuers by going before those whom they leade that their children following the steps and examples of their parents may conforme themselues to their vertues and so with them and by them be led to saluation and life cuerlasting For this cause Moses gaue commandement vnto the Iewes that the Law might be kept in their families that they might prosper in all that they went about When Obed-Edom had receiued the Arke of God into his house which signified true religion the Lord blessed him and all his houshold Whē the widdow of Zarephtah in the dayes of Eliah and the other widdow of Israel in the dayes of Elisha had receiued the Prophets of God into their houses who is ignorant how mightily and mercifully the Lord prouided for them When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health the Ruler beleeued and all his family After Zachaus had receiued Christ into his house and was conuerted saluation came to the same houshold To be short when Cornelius the Centurion embraced the Gospell his familie also beleeued were baptized and the holy Ghost fell vpon them all which heard the preaching And how well that house was ordered where Timothie was brought vp his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witnesse And this is also a point worthy to be remembred that the Lord by his Prophet Ezechiel calleth the children of the Israelites which they had begotten his children because they were partakers of the Promises and signed with the seale of the Couenant and the Prophet calleth them The inheritance of the Lord. Such parents therefore as be Christians must know that their children are also the children of God and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour and therefore they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe whose children they are if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare and much more if they as before time many haue done bequeath them in a manner consecrate sacrifice them to the seruice of men by thrusting thē into Abbeyes Munkeries Fryeries Nunneries and Seminaries there to be brought vp and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance in 〈◊〉 and idolatrie The second point is that fathers and mothers do nourish and traine vp their children in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue They be charged by the fift Commandement to feede to nourish and to bring vp their children to teach them the principles and seede of Christian religion to see they learne the Catechisme to teach them to praise God before and after meales as also to teach them by little and little and by often repetitions to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted to teach them manners how to behaue themselues decently in their going in their speaking and gesture of their bodies how to order themselues reuerently in the Church how abroad in all places and towards all men in all honest companies and so to begin some conscience in them For it were better for children to be vnborne then vntaught Now contrary to this is when parents suffer their children to haue their will from the beginning when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie by being too hasty with them when they let the cōmon ignorance of the word to be rooted in them and haue no care to frame them to learne truth and godlinesse and so to prepare them to be apt to receiue profit from the publicke ministerie It is therefore meete for all fathers and mothers if they will haue ioy of their children that then they correct them when they do amisse keepe them in shamefastnesse hatred of vice loue of all vertue according as the Wiseman in sundry places For as the common Prouerbe is birch breaketh no bones neither doth moderate correction bring danger of death but oftentimes it bridleth keepeth backe the child that otherwise would run headlong into hell and so is a meane to saue his soule For the fountaine of all vertue and chiefe of all mans felicitie is good instruction and right bringing it And contrariwise children euill brought vp bring shame and great heart-break to their parents As old
the mouthes of babes and sucklings hast thou set foorth thy praise The words of the little and simple children were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharises Thus were they taught from their cradle so carefull were their godly parents ouer them Contrariwise they cannot haue any wisedome that despise the way of the Lord. They become blinde and wicked and abhominable in all their wayes They haue no sense nor feeling of the will of God They cannot know light from darknesse nor God from Belial Such were the childrē that derided Elisha as also Absolon whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition that he went about to despose his father from his kingdome So also his brother 〈◊〉 vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid Another care which a father ought to haue of his children is to traine them vp in the study of vertue and of a godly life Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God They which keepe not this way are the children of wrath Herein standeth the whole profession of a Christian life For God hath not called vs to vncleannesse but vnto holinesse This is the will of God and this is out promise made vnto him that we serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse all the dayes of our life that we increase in vertue and grow from grace to grace A wise and louing father which sendeth his sonne on a dangerous iourney either by sea or land first instructeth him with aduise and telleth him in what sort he shall auoide perils Take heed saith he the way is dangerous which thou must passe The sea is terrible the waues rise vp as high as heauen and by and by thou shalt see a pit as low as hell The sands may swallow thee the rocks may destroy thee Thou shalt passe by huge mountaines and through a wildernesse where theeues will assault thee Thy heart will quake Thou shaltcrie for succour and find no man to helpe thee In these and these places hath many a good mans child bene cast away Oh take 〈◊〉 my sonne thou art the 〈◊〉 and comfort of mine age if ought come to thee otherwise then well I shall soone end my dayes in sorrow If a father be thus carefull that his child should escape worldly dangers he must also be carefull of spirituall dangers in which whosoeuer is lost is lost for euer Therefore thus or to this effect may he say to him Oh my sonne vnderstand what God hath done for thy sake Take heed to thy selfe The world is all ouer-strewed with snares The diuell runneth and seeketh whom he may deuoure Giue not ground to him but resist him and he will flie from thee Be strong in faith The Name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence Call vpon him in the day of thy trouble and he will deliuer thee He will giue thee of his spirit Take heed my sonne and be not deceiued let no wilfulnesse cast thee away If sinners entice thee be not a companion with them in wickednesse Fashion not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world for the world passeth away and the lust thereof He that loueth this world the loue of God is not in him Be not like vnto them that perish Thou wast conceiued and borne in sinne Thou art by nature the child of wrath but God made thee meete to be partaker of the inheritance of the Saintes in light and hath deliuered thee from the power of darknesse and hath translated thee into the kingdome of his deare sonne Receiue not this grace in vaine but cast away the works of darknesse and put on the armour of light Be renewed in thy heart and in thy spirit that it may appeare I haue bene carefull for thee Thus a carefull father seeketh to traine vp his sonne to nurture him Now there be some necessaire meanes and helpes whereby godly parents may the more effectually and vertuously bring vp their children according to the directions before spoken of as these First not to suffer their children and youth to haue their owne will For Salomon saith Prou. 11. 20. They that are of afroward heart are abhominable vnto the Lord. And againe in the 29. Chap. verse 15. A child set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed But what will some be readie to answer in this case Oh he may be broken of that time enough afterwards But what saith the wiseman Ecclesiastic 25. 27. Giue no passage to the waters no not a little The heart of child is as the violent waters And as those which haue experience in keeping and repairing the sea bankes can easily tell vs that if the raging waues should be suffered to breake ouer but one tide they should hardly in many dayes recouer it againe so if thou sufferest thy childs affections to haue the full swinge and course yea but a small season thou shalt hardly or neuer againe winne this breach 2. The second meanes is moderation in diet not to pamper children with too much meate or that which is delicate but to giue them that which is wholesome and sufficient and no more For excesse breedeth disease both in body and mind maketh them gluttons and drunkards consumers of patrimonie and this vice draweth a thousand more with it and euen as the fattest soile bringeth forth the rankest weeds so pampered children brought vp without due gouernment and discipline thrust foorth the greatest and most ouergrowne vices 3. The third helpe is not to cloath them with costly apparell or to attire them with new fashions For this againe is contrarie to the nature of paines and labour and stirreth vp pride For euen as soft flaxe is soone on fire so youthfull nature will soone be inflamed with this vice as lamentable experience too much teacheth at this day For from whence commeth this disguised and monstrous apparell but from wanton and dissolute education of youth This is the speciall sinne of England and if any thing be the ouerthrow of it which God for his mercy turne away it will be this the land is too heauie of this sinne For the pride of all nations and the follies of all countries are vpon vs how should we long beare them How art thou fallen from heauen ô Lucifer sonne of the morning And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice that I will visit the Princes and the Kings children and all such as are cloathed with strange apparell 4. The fourth helpe is reprehension or chiding And this is taught Prou. 19. 15. The rod and correction giue wisedome Where by the rod is vnderstood chastisement and by correction is vnderstood chiding or reprehension The want of this helpe was the vtter spoile and vndoing of Adonyah as may be seene 1. King 1. 2. Chapters And here we cannot but iustly find fault with most parents who though they be somewhat carefull for their children while they be
see two speciall causes why some parents do more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and specially those that haue but few children These do like as if some husband-man should refuse to till his field because he hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verily that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many Euen so after the same sort we may iudge it to be the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But we see what doth let mothers that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruell loue so to loue their children that they should be as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a few shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of mind and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse of their children vnto which they do now all too late go about to prouide a remedie On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will 〈◊〉 the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children they thinke all ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse be well framed to vauting leaping then that their child be well instructed to vertue This inconuenience cometh to the minds of children if they be not well brought vp that they become seruile and lie open to all sin and naughtinesse For if a man leaue his field vntilled he shall find it to haue brought forth fearne and thystles and such vnprofitable weeds after the same sort if he shall leaue the wits of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised he shall be sure to reape most abundant fruite of wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse The holy Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17. 21. he meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgement of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a child as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdome of God or else hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For in this case as it would grieue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the parts of their bodie euen so much more should it grieue them to haue such children as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome cannot walke in the feare of God or abusing the knowledge giuen them prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse It is maruellous how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe the want of all spiriruall graces springing from corrupt education In like manner it is strange that men can take the matter so heauily when their children breake into such offences as either haue open shame or ciuill punishments following them and yet can make no bones but passe ouer such sinnes as are against the maiestie of God accompanied with euerlasting confusion vnspeakable torments Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray but their great hypocrisie in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is sound to their children and that they loue themselues more in their children then either their saluation or the glorie of God the tender loue and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne as for that vntimely end of his sonne to whom the time of repentance for his saluation and the glorie of God was denyed which haply if he had liued his father Dauid might haue reioyced in Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children and be grieued for ignorance impietie and sinnes whereof either their carnall copulation the not lamenting of their naturall corruption the want of prayer and holy seede or prophane education armed with the wrath of God may be a most iust occasion Can parents hope for a holy posteritie or do they maruell if the Lord crosie them in the children of their bodies when they make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate when being ioyued in that honourable estate of matrimonie either as meete naturall men without all knowledge of God they beget their children or as too carnall men without the feare reuerence of the Lord neither bewailing their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestry nor praying against their infirmities which may descend to their posteritie they abuse the marriage bed Lastly when hauing receiued the fruite of the wombe they haue no care by good and vertuous bringing vp to offer it to the Lord that their child by carnall generation may be the child of God by spirituall regeneration Surely no and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation from which their children are descended without all looking back into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp will fret against their sinnes fume against their children yea often they will correct them and that to serue their owne corruptions not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God as that they haue offended them Christians therefore must know that when men and women raging with boyling lust meete together as bruite beasts hauing no other respect then to satisfie their owne carnall concupiscence when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bed with prayer when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters or naturall fooles or else such as hauing good gifts of the mind and well proportioned bodies are most wicked gracelesse and prophane persons Againe on the contrary we shall find in the word of God that noble and notable men commended vnto vs for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse were children asked and obtained of God by prayer Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their
dutie of Children towards their Parents THis dutie of children as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they obey their parents and do serue them and also do feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their hearts and minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3. Thirdly that they patiently take correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and hearty prayers to God for them 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth AS the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authority of their parents to obey and ferue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and thy mother which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper-hand onely but in this that they loue them with all their hearts that they feare and dread them that they cheerfully do their commandements will and pleasure that they seeke their worship credite profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and that they owe to them euen their owne selues and all that they are able to do yea and more then they are able By this word Honour is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Theu shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to be loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whom next after God they haue their life and being together with so many great and continuall benefits Also the loue that parents do beare to their children besides so many their labours sorrowes troubles and vexations should bind them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heate them that they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones yet the experience and daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot and so take from children their duty to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Christ Iesus said Ye are children of the diuell Ioh. 8. 44. This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely towards such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their maisters euen towards such as be rigorous For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam euen those whom we know not yea out enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents although they should intreat vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deed And verily the principall cause still abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofs and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their child-like affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguisn weeping sorrow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and endure for them This loue must be accompanied with reuerence and respect and to say the truth albeit the name of Father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one Father euen he which is in heauen yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title and Image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon he vnderstanding that his mother Bethshebah was comming to speake with him arole from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and seated her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnesse neither his Royall-estate priuiledge him from this respect and honor due to his mother When the sonne doth execute magistracie or publicke office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a magistrate not as a sonne but when he is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honor or wealth do so despise their parents if they be of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of them So that that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a sonne But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother but said Mother aske and I will not denie thee And this do we the rather note also vpon an other consideration namely that his example condemneth the custome of these dayes wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base and contemptible that the children of Kings Princes yea euen of meane Gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Syr my Lord my Ladie Madame c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implyeth not onely this outward reuerence but also that we should so esteeme of them as that neither we our selues should despise them nor suffer others-to haue them in contempt And this are we to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ I honour my Father but ye dishonour me He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father against the false opinions and slaunders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of them but also will themselues so farre exceed as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lye vncouered called his brethren to shew them
they command them and to refraine from those things which they forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindfull of benefits receiued and therefore carryeth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bene pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion be ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnesse And by this familiar description of these three heads wherein standeth chiefely the honour due vnto parents we may clearely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in awfull feare of them as whom they would be loath to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them nor haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friends and parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth nearer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequently they do not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God which without true and vnfained repentance must needs pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his most heauie and hote indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good nurtured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord and in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them in this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed nor euill-fauoured nor of a contrary religion they 〈◊〉 submit themselues vnto their choyce which if for the present or vpon the sodaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choyce but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection and to frame their wills to be plyable vnto their fathers in such lawsull cases For the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it Likewise Absolon vsing wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father for rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end Yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children If any man haue a sonne that is stubburne and disobedient which will not hear 〈◊〉 vnto the voyce of his father and the voyce of his mother and they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him and bring him out vnto the Elders of the Citie and vnto the gates of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his Citie This our sonne is stubburne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a riotour and a drunkard Then all the men of the Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death So thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it and feare For euen as a long and a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient children so on the other side all disobedient vnthankfull and obstinate children are assured of the punishment of infamie ioyned with diuers and great calamities and torments 1. Sam. 2. 22. 1. King 1. 25. c. Deut. 21. 18. c. Prou. 20. 20. 30. 17. And although that the temporall officers be negligent in punishing this disobedience yet shall they not escape vnpunished for the vengeance of God shall accompanie them vntill they be vtterly destroyed For there is nothing more vnnaturall then to see children dishonour and disobey their parents and inferiours their superiours Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the bellie of her dam and seeketh her owne life with her dams death So contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue beneficence and obedience extended towards 〈◊〉 father Iacob and his brethren in that he both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ was also obedient to his parents euen vntill death So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeares to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And S. Paul doth note that it is the first Commandement with promise For albeit there be a promise added to the second and others of the first Table yet this fift Commandemēnt is the first of righteousnesse and none in the second Table besides it hath any promise annexed thereunto For herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to their parents But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnesse and loue towards them It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy the earnest pennie of my goodnesse and grace towards thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs a blessing of God First because we cannot liue long without participating of many great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue glorifie God In confideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord neither any that go downe into the place of silence but we will praise the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezekiah King of Iudah also note in his Canticle The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I do this day the fathers to the children shall declare thy truth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue it to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto them And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne together these two sentences That it may go well with thee and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when