shown in 't Carden She has indeed done it to a Miracle and manag'd not only the Action but the Romantick Stile so naturally that a wiser Head than Don Quixote's might have been deceived Doroth. Not unless he had some Sparks of his Phrensy But what pleases me most is Sancho who is every foot at a loss whether he shall be a Governour or nothing Fernand. Ha ha ha Come now let 's go dine and laugh an Hour away about it within Nicho. Ay ay a Jest sounds always most merrily at a good Dinner my Lord and to say the truth the Squire of the Beard has been inchanted so long that he begins to be hungry Fern. Oh thy Mirth shall begin presently then were thy Hunger as sharp as one of thy one Razors it should be blunted Come mine Hostess too and little Maritornes y' have all done admirably Oh how every little Subject pleases us when Love has tun'd ouâ— Souls by his sweet Harmony Now Embracing Dorothea my dear Friend I hope your Joys are perfect too To Cardenio Carden In my Lucinda's Love mine are as perfect as Heaven has Pow'r to make ' em Lucind. And mine in meeting with my dear Cardenio Doroth. And let each kind too late repenting Maid That fears she 's by inconstant Man betray'd Yet by peculiar Fate and Grace Divine At last retrieves her Lover guess at mine Exeunt omnes FINIS THE Comical History OF Don QUIXOTE As it is Acted at the Queen's Theatre in Dorset Garden By Their Majesties Servants Part the Second Written by Mr. D'urfey LONDON Printed for S. Briscoe in Russel-street Covent Garden and H. Newman at the Grashopper in the Poultry 1694. To the Right Honourable Charles Earl of Dorset and Middlesex Ld. Chamberlain of Their Majesties Houshold and Knight of the most noble Order of the Garter c. My Lord AS in old times when Wit had flourish'd long And Rome was famous for Poetick Song The Learned Bards did round Mecaenas throng To him as Wits Dictator brought their Store And Standard that best tri'd the Muses Ore So in our Albion tho her Bards are few Yet each one covets a Dictator too And for Mecaenas fix my Lord on you You like the famous Indian Gourd are set Under whose shade sits cool each pigmy Wit Free from the railing Criticks blasting heat Let the rich Spring flow clear or be impure Fenc'd with your Name the Poet is secure Your Wit 's a Sanctuary where each one Is safe that wisely does for refuge run The roving Icarus in Poetry By you is levell'd when he soars too-high By Judgments Rules and awful Sense reclaim'd The wild Higâ—flyer is to Nature tam'd Nor does the grovelling Muse crawl off asham'd But by your mild reproof his faults discerne Made fit for Fame if not to proud to learn Each Genius still is by your candor priz'd The Great not flatter'd nor the Less dispis'd For as great Maro Naso Flaccus may In your indulgent beams with freedom play So Bavius too and Maevius uncontroul'd May busk about and grac'd with smiles be bold Oh bouâ—dless Glory yet for easâ— too great Aâ—xious tho prais'd and restless in its State Wit 's fate and that of Soveraignty's the same Both sit high crown'd both plagu'd by too much fame As Courtiers for Preferment teazing come And at the Levee throng a Monarchs Room So when Apollo Crowns a darling Son Thelesser Tribe will all be pushing on To get a Scien of his sacred Bays To plant their Credit in sucâ—eeding Days Thus your Renown your â—rouble does encrease Less great my Lord you had been more at ease Like Hero's that to War uâ—summoâ—'d come If less couragiouâ— had been safe at home A common Fate best suits with common Clay Stamp'd off in haste upon â—he first Essâ—y But Poets are not products of a Day Kings Reign by Conquest Choice or Right of Biâ—th Souldiers get Fame and Grandees share the Earth But Wiâ—'s a prize so rare there scarce appears One mighty Dorset in a Thousand Years And then too Heaven that knows the Gift is great Thinks one enough to honour a whole state Thus are the two gâ—eat Blessingâ— Wit and Love Kept â—s sublimest with most care above Heâ—ven grâ—nts us sparingly of both a taste One rarely found and t'other not too last Lest the weak Mortal in his extasie Like the first Man may know too much and dye Yet has this nice forbidden fruit which Heaven From Millions keeps to you been frankly given You have â—y Lord a Paâ—ent from above And can monopolize both Wit and Love Inspir'd and blest by Heavens peculiar care Ador'd by all the Wife and all the Fair To whom the World united give this due Best Iudge of Men and best of Poets too Please to permit me then as all the rest Of Moses Sons already have address'd Thus for your Patronage to make appeal The last Attending but the first in Zeal Let but this Play the usual Grace receive And if your generous breath says Let it live Don Quixot then is fix'd in deathless Glory And Sancho on the Stage is famous as in story Which is My Lord The humble Suit of Your Lordships most obliged and eternally devoted Servant THE PREFACE THE good success which both the Parts of Don Quixote have had either from their Natural Merit or the Indulgence of my Friends or both ought sufficiently to satisfie me that I have no reason to value the little Malice of some weak Heads that make it their business to be simply Criticizing I will therefore desist from any Answer in that kind and wholly rely upon and please my self with the good Opinion and kind Censure of the Iudicious who unanimously declare that I have not lessened my self in the great undertaking of drawing two Plays out of that ingenious History in which if I had flagg'd either in Stile or Character it must have been very obvious to all Eyes but on the contrary I have had the honour to have it judg'd that I have done both Don Quixote and Sancho Iustice making as good a Copy of the first as possible and furnishing the last with newer and better Proveabs of my own than he before diverted ye with Besides I think I have given some additional Diversion in the continuance of the Character of Marcella which is wholly new in this Part and my own Invention the design finishing with more pleasure to the Audience by punishing that coy Creature by an extravagant Passion here that was so inexorable and cruel in the first Part and ending with a Song so incomparably well sung and acted by Mrs. Bracegirdle that the most envious do allow as well as the most ingenious affirm that 't is the best of that kind ever done before Then I must tell my severe Censurers who will be spitting their Venom against me tho to no purpose that I deserve some acknowledment for drawing the Character of Mary the Buxom which was intirely my own and which I was not
goes to Church no more than you Some that would by his Looks guess his Opinion Say he 's a Papish others a Socinian But I believe him if the truth were known As th' rest of the Town-Asses are of none But for some other Gifts mind what I say Never compare each Dapple has his Day Nor anger him but kindly use this Play For should you with him conceal'd Parts disclose Lord how like Ninneys would look all the Beaus Dramatis Personae Men  By Don Quixote A frantick Gentleman of the Mancha in Spain that fancies himself a Knight Errant Mr. Boen Don Fernando A young Nobleman Mr. Powel Cardenio A Gentleman that being treacherously depriv'd of Lâ—scinda his Betroth'd Mistress fell Mad. Mr. Bowman Ambrosio A young Student and Stranger a Friend to Chrysostome and a great Woman-hater Mr. Verbruggen Perez A Curate Mr. Cibber Nicholas A merry Drolling Barber Mr. Harrris Sancho Panca A dry shrewd Country Fellow Squire to Don Quixote a great speaker of Proverbs which he blunders out upon aâ—loccasions tho' never so far from the purpose Mr. Doggett Gines de Passamonte  Mr. Haines Pallameque Gally-slaves  Lope Ruiz Gally-slaves  Quartrezzo Gally-slaves  Tenorio Gally-slaves  Martinez Gally-slaves  Guarding the Slaves  Officers 2d Barber   Vincent A humorous Host or Inn-keeper Mr. Bright Women  By Marcella A young beautiful Shepherdess that hates Mankind and by her scorn occasions the Death of Chrysostome Mrs. Bracegirdle Dorothea alias Princess Micomicona a young Virgin betroth'd to Don Fernando but deserted by him for Luscinda but afterwards reconcil'd Mrs. Knight Luscindâ— A young Lady betroth'd to Cardenio stollen from a Nunnery by Don Fernando whom she fled thither to avoid Mrs. Bowman Teresâ— Pancha Wife to Sancho a silly credulous Country Creature Mrs. Leigh Mary the Buxom Sancho's Daughter a Rude laughing clownishHoyden Incomparably Acted by Mrs. Verbruggen Hostess   Maritornes Her Daughter  The Body of Chrysostom   Knights of several Orders   Shepherds Shepherdesses Inchanters Inchantresses Singers Dancers and Attendants   The SCENE Mancha in Spain A Pleasant Champian with a Windmill in Prospect THE Comical History OF DON QUIXOTE ACT I. SCENE I. A Champian with a Windmill at distance The Curtain Drawn Don Quixote is seen Arm'd Cap-a-pee upon his Horse Rosinante and Sancho by him upon Dapple hiâ— Ass â—â—ting a bunch of Haws Don Quix. SAncho San. Sir Don Q. We are now in pursuit of Valorous Advenâ—ures enter'd into the pleasant Fields of Monâ—iel the Air is fragrant and delightfâ—l and the Valley near yonder Tuft of Virdant Trees Cool and Shady therefore let us alight And prithee take the Bridle from â—osinante's Head that he may the better taste the Refreshment of this flowry Pasture and when thou hast done so shew the same Courtesie to thy own friend Dapple for they have born us day with a fortitude and patience that exact from us an answerable Return of Civility San With all my Heart Sir and I wish that Dapples generosity could be as Civil to me as I to him and return me a good refreshing too for as the Case of my Belly now stands I find my fortitude and patience inclining to yield to the Giant Hunger and methinks I begin to wish my â—elf an Ass too that we might Improve good fellowship and lovingly Dine together Kissing Dapple Don Qu. Do not indulge thy self too much upon thy Belly good Sancho an Epicure contradicts the function of the Squire of a Knight-Errant entirely go do as I have order'd and aâ— thy return I will give thee the honour of a Conference San. If the Conference were to be over a good piece of Beef and Cabbage I could confeâ— noâ— like any Clergyman but I don't like these windy Exhortations without meat aside Now am I to be fed with a â—edious Tale of Knight-Errantry when my Guts are all in uproar within me for want of better provision Exit with Rosin and Dapple Don Qu. The gross and sordid quality of this Fellow gives me the better reflection upon my self for as his thoughts are grovelling like his Nature so mine are elevate like my Profession On which let me now consider a little What art thou And what wouldst thou be Don Quixote A Renown'd Knight-Errant a Tamer of Giants a Righter of Wrongs a Defender of Virgins a Protector of Justice In fine a Scourge to the Infamous World and a noble Retriever of the Golden Age but hold Illustrious Don you are not Knighted yet and consequently incapable of these Performances What then as I have read in Books of Chivalry I may still undertake an easie Adventure under the Title of the Maiden-Knight till I receive that honour and then proceed the glory of that function the terrour of all Miscreants and the delight and wonder of ensuing Ages Re-enter Sancho Sâ—n. So thanks be to Lady Flora the Beasts are well provided for Dapple is happy he is exercising his Grinders yonder whilst I carry mine here only for shew for the Devil of any other use will my Master let me have for 'em See now is he making his Dinner upon Cogitations and I am to have the Scraps of 'em for mine Honour and Air is always our faâ—e Oh Sancho Sancho What hast thou brought thy self to Don Qu. Oh Dulcinea dâ—l Toboso Thou light of all Eyes Empress of my Soul and Sovereign Princess of my Heart and Vitals San. Ay 't is so Thought of his suppos'd Mistâ—ess a Murrain take her is the first Course and no doubt a Conceipt of the next beating for her will be the second Ooâ—s this is choice Dyet I grow damnably â—at upon 't Oh Dâ—nce You must leave Wife and Children to go a Squiring must ye Well! can you eat Grass good Squire Can your Worship Dine upon Clovet you may find Salleds in abundance but like the Spanish Boors your Countrymen the Devil of any meat to 'em most Noble Squire Don Qu. Now Animal of little Faith and less Ingenuity what are you grumbling at San. Why troth Sir if your Worship will needs know my Belly and I have had a sharp Combat it was grumbling at me for a good Dinner and I was cramming it as well as I could with the good hopes of the Island your Worship has promis'd me when you come to be Emperour of what d' ee call it Don Qu. Empires Sancho have their Titles as various as the ways to Atchieve 'em but let it suffice thee that when I am Dub'd Knight as with the first opportunity I mean to be Adventures of that Nature will flow in upon us so that in the â—pace that one may trim a Beard an Empire may Drop into my Mouth and an Island or at least an Earldom into thine San. Pray Heaven my Government afford me Beef enough to make amends for all these Days of Fasting But I have found to my sorrow in your Service hitherto that fair Words bâ—ttâ—r no
Devil will have you if you Swear Sancho And his Dam there will have thee if thou follow'st her advice ye young Oaf Here am I that by seeking noble Adventures am going to be an Eaâ—l and in the twinkling of a Star to be able to make ye both Countesses and yet this Devil of a Woman will be always crossing me and daming her self â—o Clouted Shooes and a Canvas Smock all days of her Life Mary A Countess O Lord Is that true Mother Teres I shaw waw neeâ— mind thoâ—e great so 〈◊〉 Titles Fool they are a great deal too big for our Mouths Mary My Name has been alway Teresa and Goodwiâ—e Panca and thou time out of mind hast been call'd Mâ—ll or Mary and â—t the latter end of my days to be called Counâ—eâ—s and I know not what I shall Die I shall ne'er be able to beâ—r it Weeps Sancho VVhy there 't is now A Plague on 't who would put Honey into an Asses Mouth I am making my self a Goveâ—nor and setting her upon Velvet Cushions of State and this Plaguy Woman of Barrabas in spiâ—e of me will sit baâ—e Bâ—ttock'd upon a Dunghil Mary And do yow say that I should be a Governors Daughter and sit upon a Cushion too Vather Sancho Wowns thou shalt be a Countess I tell thee in a Months time if that Adder â—â—ere would leave her Hissâ—ng and let me be quiet I would Maâ—ry thee in â—n instant to the great Lord Don Wâ—irligigaric Son and Hâ—ir to the tother great Lord Don Whaâ—hum Thou â—houldst walk in thâ— Streets wiâ—h â—hy Train held up and two Embroidered Laqueys holding an Umbreâ— over thee to keep thy amiable Phiz from Tanning Mary Ha ha ha ha on Gemini and that will fit my Humour to a Button Vather Well the first thing I would do should be to learn to be Proud and look Scornfully I warrant I 'd carry my self like a Countess quickly Tâ—res Alas poor Mawkin she 's bewitch'd already I find this Earldom will be the undoing of the poor Jade do what I can Why hear me thou Father of Folly thou willful Corrupter of thy own Flesh and Blood Does that Child look as if she could walk in State with her Train held up dâ—heart 't will give me Gripes to hear how the Folks will Laugh at her Look how Stately the Hoggrubber goes says one she that was yesterday at her Spinning Wheel and went to Church with the Skirt of her Coat over her Head to keep her from the Rain has now a Tail three yards long says another and an Umbrel to defend her Olive coloured Countenance with a Pox to her says a third This will be the cry all the Village over therefore come away Mary and dont â—e a Countess Child Sancho Call thy Mother Fool Mary the Buxom and be a Countess in â—pite of heâ— Remember thou art to be Married and Breed a Race for the Honour of the Panca's think upon the young Lord Whirligigario Child Teres Think upon thy self Mary remember thou hast sometimes worn Shooes and sometimes none Child Sancho Crooked Loggs make good Fires think upon Don Whirligigario Mâ—ll Mâ—ry Ay ay Vather I 'm for Don Whiâ—lâ—gigario and there 's no more to be â—aid but let my Mother sit â—are Bâ—ttock'd upon a Dunghill if she will I 'll be a Countess â— Sancho That 's my good Girl look'ee Teresa the Court has given their Judgment your Causâ— is lost in Course Teres Well Satan I know thou dost it to break my Heart thou Cruel Man for the very hour that I shall see that Girl a Countess will be the hour of my Death I 'm sure the Jade will never be able to know her self she 'll be every Minute hoydning and discovering her Course Thread Well she 's thy own do what thou wilt with her but for my part I 'll neer consent to 't and so farewell A Countess O Lord I 've no Patience to think on t Exit Teresa Mary Good Lord now is my Mother as Rusty as an old Cow that has got the Belly Ach but I care not She dares not beat me because she knows I 'll beat her again Well de hear Vather be sure you make me a Countess as soon as ever you can Sancho I warrant thee Girl and let thy Mother go and Fume at home with the Smoke in the Chimney corner He that looses his Wife and Six Pence looses a Tester Thou art my Darling and shalt ere long be a Lady for she that has luck has better than a good Estate in Reversion and the full Bags of Fools Command Wise-Men for Followers I by following Adventures intend to be a Governor and when I am so I intend to make thee Rich And when thou art Rich no Body will say thou art Freckled nor think thee a Dowry For Gold makes Country Joan look fair and Bonny Though old and chop'd and Skinn'd like Orange Tawny ACT II. SCENE I. Continues Enter Perez with a Letter and Nicholas Nicholas AND are you sure Mr. Curate that your Letter is Authentick and that it says positively your Neece Dorothea lives disguis'd amongst the Shepherds of Cordova Perez 'T is most certain for the Discover of her is my particular Friend one oâ—â—â—e best of that Quality too in all the Country and hâ—s been often with 〈◊〉 at her Father's House Nicho. 'T is very odd that when this Devil Love gets once into a young Female Noddle what Tricks and Gambols will it make her play â— had rather be oblig'd to tame a Hare in the beginning of March and makâ— it come to my Hand than any Woman in her Pride of Eighteen if once she be touch'd with this loving Fury Perez He writes me word here he discover'd her one Evening by her Singing for she can Sing â—oo like an Arch-Angel The pretty Rogue was washing her Feet in a little Brook that runs just by his Cottage the Whiteness of which made him at first suspect her Sex till viewing her Face nearer he knew her perfectly yet discover'd not himself but follow'd her and by that means found her Abode among the Shepherds Nicho. And how d' ye intend to get her thence Pâ—rez Occasion offers fâ—ly to Morrow will be the Funeral of Chrisostom a young witty and learned Engliâ—h Gentleman that for the Love of a â—oy beautiful Virgin of these Precincts call'd Marcella put on a Shepherd's Habit to Court her but she disdaining him dispair'd and dy'd At this Ceremony will atteâ—d all the Shepherds hereabouts and there will be a Diâ—ge â—ung with other Rural Games made by a dear Friend and Country-man of his call'd Ambrosio in Honour of the dead Man's Memory Now amongst this Troop 't is probable she comes and I may then surprise her Nicho. 'T is likely enough I coâ—fess and to assist a little good Mr. Curate I 'll be there too and if the Clergy miss her perhaps the Laity may come in for a Snack but come let 's mind our
then shall joyn our Hands this Instant fast fast for ever lead the way Luscinda whilst I and my unvalued Blessings follow Oh my best Life how could I talk of killing thee thou tenderest sweetest good but with Love's Balm ' I 'll heal the hurt my rude Expressions gave ' I was thy Tyrant but am now thy Slave Exeunt SCENE II. Mountains and Rocks at the end of the Deep Grove Enter a Barber with a Bason on 's Head and carrying Triming Instruments followed by Don Quixot and Sancho mounted at distance Barber Sings With my Strings of small Wire c. Odsdiggers This was a rare Contrivance to keep me from the Rain the Shower would have pepper'd me else Faith Don Qu. Stand Insolent Knight and yield that precious Helmet or thou Dyest Barber Helmet Oh Lord what d' you mean Sir what Helmet Don Qu. That which thou bearest Wretch the Golden Helmet of Mambrino Barber Mambrino ds'heart Sir I know no such Man I am a Barber Sir and going to Trim a Gentleman in the next Town here I never use a Helmet this is nothing but a Bason Sir Don Qu. Hah darest thou dispute prepare then for the Combat goes to thurst at him Barber Help Murder Murder ds'heartliking's is the Devil in the Man Runs off and letâ—s the Bâ—son fall and Don Quixot takes it up Sancho Hey day what a Plague are ye doing now Zoons will ye Rob the poor Barber Don. Qu. What Barber Jolthead dost not see the Treasure I am Master of for which I 've watch'd so many Nights and Days and oft resolv'd to lose my Life or purchase this is the pretious Helmet of Mambrino Rascal which I have got as the spoils of Victory from the Renown'd Knight of the three Roses Sancho From the Knight of the three Razors you have indeed Don Qu. Is it not rare dost not admire the Workmanship Sancho Why troth Sir the Bason I must needs say is as clever a Bason as a Man would desire to be Lather'd in but as for any great Workmanship that I see in the Bason Don. Qu. Bason what Bason Sott I tell thee 't is a Helmet Sancho A Helmet ha ha ha ha what is this a Helmet Don Qu. A famous one and made of Spanish Gold in value worâ—â— a Province only there wants a Beaver Sancho Only you want Brains rather say ha ha â—a ha And so this Helmet you say is all Gold so is it Don Qu. Of Purest Gold by art too made Impenetrable Sancho Ha ha ha ha very good why then I know where the Wind sits but of little medling comes great Ease let not the fault of the Ass be laid upon the Pack-Saddle every Herring must hang by its own Gills and he that hears much and speaks not at all is welcome both in Bower and Hall and he that Don Qu. And he that has the Tayl and Cloven Feet take thee for a Blockhead art thou stringing thy Proverbs again And a Pox take thee without Head or Tail to 'em look out thâ—re Dâ—lt and see who 's coming if my Eyes dazzle not here 's an Adventure will give occasion to employ this Helmet Sancho Pray Heaven we meet no more Carriers my Bones ake still with the last Combatt of Honour but I think if my Eyes inform right here 's no great fear of a Quarrel these People are all bound to the peace already Enter Palameque Quartrezzo Lope Ruiz Martinez Tenorio and Gines de Passamonte Chain'd as Galley Slaves with two Officers and other Soldiers Guarding them Don Qu. Bless me what Scene of Cruelty is this dost thou observe how they have Chain'd and Bound these honest People Sancho Honest People what a Plagâ—e are ye Blind again Zoons don 't you see that these are Rogues Condemn'd for some Notorious Crimâ—â— and forc'd by the King to serve in the Galleys Don Qu. Force Sancho the King can force no Body I must examine this Sancho Nay if you come to examining once here 's like to be fine Work 1 Officer Pedro go before to the Inn at the bottom of the Hill yonder and bring hither some Wine and a Manchet thaâ— we may refresh a little the heat of the Day and the Dust have almost Choak'd me Ex Pedro. come you Sir Thief of more then common mark what To Gines are you employing your self about what are you gnawing of your Châ—in hah Gines Gnawing it why d' e make an Ostrich of me d' e think I can digest Iron Confound the World you know well enough I suppose the strength of the Necklace I wear here or you would not be so Rusty I should teach you another manner of Speech if my Ten Pickers were at liberty But come 't is well enough there 's no more to be said â— Offic. Sirrah hold your Tongue and leave swelling least I make St. Andrew's Cross upon your Pate Don Q. By this Man's Inhumanity Sancho I do perceive these Wretches have great need of my assistance therefore I have some thoughts to free ' em Sancho The Devil you will Don Q. It falls out fitly for my Knightly Function to succour the Distressed therefore no more of your Proverbial Fooleries I tell thee I 'll make them free as Air. Sancho O Lord O Lord Why pray Sir consider a little you are going to free these Rogues from the Gallies and the Holy Brotherhood will send us thither in their places oh that ever I was born Oons consider Good Sir consider what you are doing Don Q. Thou foulest Insect can'st thou fear the Brotherhood when I am by thee follow me I say and Courageously too or by the Star of my hopes my fairest Dulcinea del Toboso I 'll spit thee like a Frog Sancho Oh what will become of me ' sheart I shall have that grim Fellow's Sword in my Guts within this two Minutes Don Q. Captain as a Knight-Errant on whose sacred Office depends the Laws of executing Justice and consequently to be well Informed in the Case of the Afflicted I request to know the reason why these Men are carried thus for if my Judgment has inform'd me right 't is much against their Wills 1. Offic. Against their Wills Sir why troth I think there need no great dispute to be made of that I suppose there are few Malefactors so very stout hearted to go to the Gallies with their own consent Don Q. Generous Sir your Answer is Ingenious and I beseech you therefore give me leave to add a little to this Obligation and know from you before you pass on further the nature of their several Crimes Sancho So he 's got into his Examinations and the Devil can't hinder him 1. Offic. The Nature of their Crimes ha ha ha viewing Don Q. what has he got on his Head there a Bason who the Devil is this Scare-Crow I wonder a Man would take him for one of the Knights of the Round-Table if 't were noâ— for his Brazen Head-Piece there aside The nature of their
Lord Dukes order to be Secretary and Civility Master to fool him and his Wife in there new Government He I hear is upon his way hither and she too ought to be here to meet â—m with the dowdy her daughter I wonder their Tawny Ladiships staâ— so loâ—g Mary Sir Gentleman if I may presume to be so bold Teres Prithee hold thy Tongue I le speak to him my self hem â—em if your business Sir * Putting her by Makâ—s awkerd Curtesies be not much in haste be pleas'd to know Sir that I am the Governor Sancho's Wife Sir and therefore desire you would do your self the honour Sir to conduct me to his house Sir Mannell It must be they their Comical Figures shew they can be no other Mary And look friend I am his daughter Moll you must know otherwise called Mary the Buxom and now yoâ— know us pray will you tell my Vather that we are come de' e hear Mannel In happy time good Ladies for I have been here ready this two hours to attend your motion Mary Deslikins de' e hear Mother he calls us Ladies already Aside Teres Humph you will be prating still you will shew your self a hoyden why look Friend to deal plainly we had made our noble entrance sooner but the Waggon broke and we were forc'd for three hours to tarry the mending Mannel The Waggon why did your Excellencies then condescend to make your approaches to your Government by the contemptible â—onvenience of a Waggon Terâ—s Why truly yes friend for want of better our Excellencies for once made a hard shift Mary There was ne'r a Cart to be had in Town you must know but one that was carrying Lime to make Morter to mend the Town Hall Mannâ—l A Cart a Chariot sure you must mean Misse-Pritty Teres A Cart did you ever hear such a Jade ay ay Sir Miss meant a Chariot as you say Pox take her would she were whipt at a Cart a little a thing that runs upon Wheels Sir a fine stately thing that runs I say upon Wheels To Mary aside Mannel Ay it may run upon Leggs for any thing thou knowst of it Aside Mannel Ay ay your Ladiship is in the right it does run upon Wheels indeed But come now I beseech you give me leave to usher ye to your House I am my self a small Officer under the Governour and your Ladiship to him I serve as Secretary and to you as Civility Master Teres Good Mr. â—ivility I shall â—oon know your good qualities Mary Oh ho ho O Lord I canâ—t keep from laughing for the life of me Mannel My duty at present is to conduct you to the Chief Matron to be new dress'd as fits a Governours Wife it must be done instantly therefore pray follow me that you may be ready to receive your Lord who intends to be here at Dinner Teres Well pray lead the way friend I le warrant I le keep touch with ye Mary Lord bless us whatâ—s to be done now I am in such a quandary I know not what I say nor do for my part Exeunt with Mannel SCENE II. Enter Duke and Sancho dressâ—d Fantastically as a Governour between hiâ— and the Dutchess Luscinda Cardenio Rodriguez and Servants following Duke HAve the Chief Citizens and leading Men of the Island notice of their new Governours Arrival Servant They have my Lord and this is the place where they designâ—d to meet him Duke 'T is well is there ought else my most illustrious Don in which my self or the Dutchess there can honour ye Don Qâ— Ds'death is that a look like a Governour hold up thy head for shame his joy my Lord has prest so much upon his spirits his Tongue at present is not at liberty Carden The favours these illustrious persons bestow hourly would make a Dumb man speak to return thanks Luscin And yet he stands as if he did not mind ' em Dâ—tch Any thing in my power the Noble Governour is sure he may command unless it be to give him leave to Ravish my woman Rodriguez Rodr. Me I had rather see his Governourship hang'd than he should come but as near as to whisper me marry choak him what the first day of his wearing Socks Don Quix. Oons is he Dumb indeed Ioggs Sancho Sancho Hark good Mistress Conserve-maker hold your self contented All Rats lookee care not for mouldy Cheese if you Virginity is to be hangd upon the Tree till I shake it off the Crows may come and pick at it for Sancho Carden Oh this is well now a few wise sayings â—rom a Governor look decently Sancho Some of which should profit your pert Lady then methinks that she is so quick at putting her Spoon into another mans Porridge look friend too much Tongue too much Taile I say no more but the Hen discovers her Nest with Cackling Luscin Oh unfortunate person now have I rowz'd a sleeping Lyon that will tear me to pieces Dutch No no Madam the wise Governour will consider the fâ—ailty of our Sex Sancho As to your Grace I must needs say I am beholding and if my Government stretch to my mind but an inch or two I will shew my self thankful as well as I can but for your fleeâ—ers and especially Goody Warming Pan there the Governour turns his Rump upon 'em as things below his place and Sagacity Rodrig Well and I turn my Rump upon theâ— too ' dslife ye were but a Stirrup holder the to'ther day were ye Duke Come good words Roderiguez there 's distinctioâ— between Sancho and you now Rodrig Ay the worse world in the mean time I thought I might have deâ—erv'd an honour from your Grace considering all things as well as that Sheepsheerer Weeps Carden Ha ha ha Faith my Lord Mistress Rodriguez is the right and but that the Governour here has got the start of us and that his people are coming to wait upon him I would put one Shoulder to heave him out of his Authority for the hard Joke he gave my Wife Sancho I but in the mean time don't sell the Bears Skin before you have caught him All are not Thieves that Doggs bark at you may turn the buckle behind ye now Friend Enter Pedro and Baratarians Pedro Health to the Duke and next the Governour Bowing to the Duke and Sancho †to whom I as his Physitian in ordinary and the Mouth of these grave Citizens thus tender homage and am proud t' inform him we come to wait upon him to his Government Don Qu. Your hat Sancho your hat ' dsdeath don't you see they are all bareheaded Come come look grave and speak after me weâ—l imitate the Polish Election and give it them in Latin Sit bonus Populus Sancho Sit bonus Populus Speaks loud and Clounishly Don Qu. Bonus ero Gubernator Sancho Bonus ero Gubernator They shout Duke So then since all things move in their right ordeâ— here now let 's part and bonos nocios Governour Sancho The Governour is your Graces
full fraight I le do what I can â—ut especially for that about Garlick and Belching let me alone and so Sir wishing ye to be an Emperor in the space of a whistling-time we take our leaves To feast and give our Islanders a Playday And meet our Spouse who now must be a Lady Pedro and the rest Long live the Governour of Barataria Huzza Exeunt Sancho and Baratarians one way and Don Quixot another weeping SCENE III. Enter Teresa and Mary new dressâ—d with Mannel Mary LOrd is this me odslidikins they have made me so fine that would I were hangâ—d if I know whither 't is me or no. Teres Well and what 's to be done next good Mr. Civility what you have shown us already is curâ—ouâ—â—â—fine iâ—akins Mannel Leave off that course that Clownish word ifakins and if you would swear like a Lady o th' Mode â—ou must say by my Soul mâ— Lord by my Honour Madam by the universe Cavalier unless you are at Cards among your selves and then you may inlarge a little as thus SoonsI have had horrid ill luck to night I haâ—e lost 50 quadruples Damme Teres Well thatâ—s very prety by the universe Cavalâ—er Mary It has such a pure sound with it when one swears a little and methinks the words Mother come off so roundâ—â— that would I may never make water more if I had not rather Teres O Lord O Lord there the Quean had it out broad why ye clownish Jade have I Mannel Hold hold good Madam let me mannage her you must consider she is not yet wean'd from her Countrâ— Dialect Oh sâ—e Miss you have said such a paw thing that I warrant ne're a one of the Town Ladies would have said for a Thousand pounds Oh you must not offer to say such a paw thing as that nor do such a paw thing as that for the World though ye are in never so great an extremity Mary No I cod that 's very hard though Teres Let me come to her Sir ' dlife this rude Hilding will spoil all our preferment Mannel Oh Patience patience Madam she must come too 't by degrees Young Lady I blame you not for speaking but for the manner of it therefore from henceforth when you would express your self on that occasion if you are visiting or elsewhere you must say Dear Coâ—sin or Madam I 've an extream desire to make a Natural Evacuation Mary A Natural Evacuation O Lord that 's pretty I swear Mannel Oh Modesty is the most darling Jewel amongst all well-bred Ladies though it often occasions 'em distress enough too I remember once at a certain noble Lord's Tryal a certain ruddy plump young Lady dyed a green Manteau and Petticoat into a perfect Blew through her riggid Modesty and the violent Effect of Natural Evacuation But come now practise your gate agen a little Walk walk hold up your Heads So snap your Fanns Very good Wag your Hipps a little more Admirable Adroit and Easie leave but off the Country hobble now and I defie any Court-Lady of 'em all to out-do ye They Iig about Terâ—s Well I swear methinks Iâ—m chang'd quite to another thing already Manâ—el Oh here 's the Governour I hear the Musick Loud Trumpets within Enter Sancho sâ—rutting with Pedro and Baratarians Mary Oh that ever I was born is that my Vather Staring and clapping her hands Tâ—râ—s Ah Blessing on the pretious Eyes on thee my dear Yoke-mate my Sancho and art thou then a Governour indeed mine own Oosle-cock She runs to embrace him Mannel Oh hands off good Madam such greeting is not decent in great Ladies Takes her from Sancho 's Neck Terâ—s Gadslidikins I could smother him in that fine Coat methinks Mary I must speak to him he looks like one of the great fat Men they call Judges that used to ride so purely through our Town Oh brave Vather Oh brave Father isâ—t you Vather is 't you Oh Law oh Law Iumps and laughs Sancho Ha ha ha ha the poor Fools are almost craz'd through meer Joy 't is well Spouse mine 't is well but not too much of â—ondness now good Crooked Rib and Daughter mine take care of Romping Remember who I am Teres Ah dear Gravel-face dear Ferret-eyes Leering at him Mannel Madam Madam you forget Mary I am my Lord the Governour Sancho Panca's most humble Servant upon my Honour and wou'd I may ne'er make â—â—ter if Mannel stops her Sancho Well said Mary the Buxom that 's my good Girl hold thee there Moll Teres And I am his Lordshipâ—s every thing his hot Loaf and Butter Suet-pudding his Pancake by the Universe Mannel Pretty well that Madam indifferent Sancho 'T is very well good Mouse-trap in me 't is vâ—ry well and you see I have been as good as my word I told ye what my Squireship would come too Teresa but you would not believe you would be obstinate A Woman a Woman Teres I was under some little doubt my Lord by my Soul I must confess Speaks mincing Mannel Very well that last Madam extreamly well Mary I would have laid a Groat I should have had no new Lockram Smocks of your giving me Vather not this Mannel Aw not a word more of that 't is well he do s not hear ye Sancho Here 's Dapple too come along with me Chuck the poor Ass on my Conscience is as glad of his Preferment as thou art I 'd have brought him in here but that we should have wanted an Elbow-Chair for him to sit down in Mannel There s an Alcove within with a State and Velvet-cushions my Lord Sancho No no 't is no matter now though the Creature is good Company enough Faith he 's trapd so richly you 'd wonder if you saw him he s all over Embroider'd like a High Sheriff of a County upon an entertaining-Entertaining-day Pedro Please your Excellence to sit and rest a little for I 'm of Opinion that this sultry Climate bears no Affinity with the Choller of your Complexion especially when irritated by Motion Excuse me my Lord 't is my duty to be careful of your Constitution which I perceive at present to be somewhat languid and sudorous be pleased therefore to sit and see the Sports that are provided to entertain ye Sancho Ay with all my heart and d' ye hear Doctor Prithee let me have as few of your cramp words as you can for they 'll work more upon my Constitution than any Dose of Pills you can give me Come family of the Panca's set down by me and let 's see these Sports he talks of and afterward let 's go to dinner for I feel a kind of a governing stomach that methinks grumbles to be satisfied I could eat heartily Pedro Good my Lord think not too much of Eating 't is very unwholsome Sancho How Eating unwholsome prithee honest Gut-scowrer perswade me to that if thou canst Ha ha ha that s a very good Jest â—aith Sancho Teresa and Mary sit down then Musick sounds and an
Entertainment follows of Singing and Dancing which ended a Table is brought in furnished Pedro and Mannel wait then is a Dance of Spinsters A SONG Sung by a Clown and his Wife He. SInce Times are so bad I must tell thee Sweet-heart I m thinking to leave off my Plough and my Cart And to the fair City a Iourney will go To better my Fortune as other folk doe Since some have from Ditches And course Leather-breeches Bâ—en rais'd to be Rulers and wallow'd in Riches Prithee come come from thy Wheel For if Gypsies don't lye I shall be a Governour too e're I dye She. Ah Collin by all thy late doings I find With sorrow and trouble the Pride of thy Mind Our Sheep now at random disorderly run And now Sundays Iacket goes every day on Ah! what dost thou mean He. To make my Shooes clean And foot it to Court to the King and the Queen Where shewing my Parts I preferment shall win She. Fye 't is better for us to Plough and to Spin For as to the Court when thou happen'st to try Thouâ—'t find nothing got there unless thou canst buy For Money the Devil the Devil and all 's to be found But no good Parts minded without the good Pound He. Why then I 'll take Arms And follow Allarms Hunt Honour that now-a-days plagueily charms She. And so lose a Limb by a Shot or a Blow And curse thy self after for leaving the Plough He. Suppose I turn Gamester She. So Cheat and be bang'd He. What think'st of the Road then She. The High-way to he hang'd He. Nice Pimping however yields profit for 〈◊〉 I 'll help some fine Lord to another's fine Wife She. That 's dangeorus too Amongst the Town-Crew For some of 'em will do the same thing by you And then I to Cuckold ye may be drawn in Faith Collin 't is better I sit here and Spin. He. Will nothing prefer me what think'st of the Law She. Oh! while you live Collin keep out of that Paw He. I 'll Cant and I 'll Pray She. Ah! there 's nought got that way There 's no one minds now what those black Cattle say Let all our whole Care Be our Farming affair He. To make our Corn grow and our Apple-trees bear 2 Voices Ambition's a Trade no Contentment can show She. So I 'll to my Distaff He. And I to my Plough CHORVS Let all our whole Care Be our Farming affaiâ— To make our Corn grow and our Apple-trees bear Ambition's a Trade no Contentment can show So I 'll to my Distaff And I to my Plough Pedro How does your Excellence like the Entertainment do our Musick and Sports please ye Enter a Carter Sancho Yes yes I like your Sports well enough but here 's a Sport that I think at present surpasses 'em Gad there 's a rare Turky and I 've a furious Inclination to be familiar with him How now Carver goes to cut the Turky and Pedro strikes the Dish with a Wan at which the Waiters snatch it away Pedro By no means Sir 't is hot undigestible and corroding the Flesh of that sort of Fowl are highly pernicious to a Constitution that abounds with Choller You must excuse me Sir I am stipended in this Island to take care of its Governours and study day and night to prescribe a Dyet proper for ' em Teresa takes a Comfit and Mannel snatches it from her Mannel You must not eat yet Madam 't is ill Manners the Carver has not help'd your Lord. Teres By the Universe that 's true Well Sir pray excuse me I shall remember better another time Mary O Lord how my Chopps water at one of them fat Birds there Mannel Young Lady keep your Elbows off the Table Oh fye 't is highly indecent Sancho Well then Prithee honest fellow hand hither one of those Partridges those Doctor are harmless Meat I 'm sure Pedro Oh horrible this plaguy Cook has sent 'em in blood-raw the Rascal has pepper'd the Sawce too as if they were to feed a Jew away with 'em quickly 'Sdeath this Rogue ought to be hang'd he 'll poyson the Governour in two days time Dish snatch'd away Sancho Poyson him no gadzooks he 's in more danger of starving for ought I see Come prithee what Mannel this while is teaching the Women to behave themselves must I eat then Quickly quickly man and don 't square my stomach by thy own give me a good hearty Collop of something that 's warm and good and don 't judge me by thy self thou look'st as if thou hadst fed upon Smoak all thy life-time Pedro Oh that 's very well Sir Jesting is wholsome and I am glad to find your Excellence so dispos'd 't is more nourishing for ye then any Meat that I see here Reach me that Dish there friend Teres Is it always the Custom friend for the Governours to have thy hungry Preamble before Dinner Mannel Ever Madam the Doctor very often makes a Speech upon Temperance an hour or two long 't is the Custom Mary The Devil take the Customs then I say for I 'm damnably sharp-set Pedro Look ye your Excellence may Gives him a Dish of Wafers Regale upon these with safety till better provision be order'd and Madam these are light too and of good digestion for Governour 's Ladies but for any thing else here Little Dishes of whipp'd Cream are brought in Sancho These Oons why a hundred of 'em wont fill a man's Mouth Why ye plaguy Paracelsian you d' ye think I can dine upon Paper Mary Or I upon Froth Sancho ' Sbud give me a Glass of Wine there I shall choak with Rage else What a plague is the meaning of this Pedro 'T is Death for him therefore I charge ye all forbear upon your Lives till I have corrected it Let me see the Glass Takes the Glass and prepares it Sancho Why ye damn'd Son of a Glister-pipe must not I drink neither Pedro Not till I have allay'd the Assid quality of the Wine my Lord and made it agree with your stomach if you should be sick alas 't is as much as my place nay as my life is worth therefore it behoves me to be exceeding careful you are inclining to a Hectick my Lord hot and dry and too strong Liquors will infallibly destroy the Humidum Radicale There now I think I may venture it Sancho Oh confounded Potion-maker this is meer Water the very Liquor of Frogs gadzooks Hark ye what is your Name friend Pedro Sir I 'm styl'd Doctor Pedro Rezio de Agnero I am a Native of Tirte Afuria which lies between Caragnel and Almodona del Campo and took my Degree in the University of Osuna Sancho Why then Doctor Pedro Rezio Agnero of Tirte Afuria and Graduated in Osuna take tâ—at throws the Glass at him and get you out of my sight or I 'll throw my Chair at your head whâ— â—e Common-wealth's Hang-man let me eat or take â—our Government agen with a Pox t' ye for an
prodigious strength of body Canst thou think to be believ'd against my tears and protestation No no wretch the noble Governour understands Justice better Sancho Alas goâ—d Woman don't afflict thy self so Look'e friend Finisher there must be more in this than ordinary Have you that Purse about ye Small M. Yes my Lord here it is Sancho Give it me friend and we 'll make an end of this business presently Come hither Woman you say this prodigious strong fellow here forc'd you against your Will and you struggled and defended yourself all you could hah Woman Yes upon my honesty my Lord. Sancho Very good then to let thee see how much I value honest Women whose weaknesses are often unwillingly o'recome by such monstrous fellows there there 's that Purse for thee and to make thy self amends for the wrong he has done thee get thee gone with it Throws her the Purse Small M. Oh good my Lord if you take that I 'm utterly undone 't is all I 'm worth Woman Ah blessing on your Honours sweet face y' are a heavenly Judge upon my honesty and I shall pray for ye the longest day I have to live Ah Gad save ye ye are an upright Magistrate in troth Exit Small M. Oh Lord I 'm ruin'd I 'm lost 't is all I have got this two years by hard labour and I han't a penny more left in the world to help my self Oh that ever I was born Howles out Sancho Sirrah you prodigious you Finisher leave your bawling and gather up your Legs and run after her as hard as you can and force away the Pâ—rse from her and bring it hither to me Small M. Oh I le do what I can but I fear 't will be a hard matter for the Jades as strong as a Horse Exit after her Sancho I begin to perceive that this Island of mine is very full of Enormities which will require a plaguy deal of trouble to weed out a Fool always sees more in his own house than a wife Man in anothers if they will be Rogues let 'em look too 't How now see how they agree about the business without there Noise of shreeking and scuffling within Exit Constable and re-enters again with the Man and the Woman fighting he tattered and beaten Sancho How now woman what 's the matter now Womaâ— Why this impudent Fellow my Lord contrary to your Honours judgment has followed me and would have taken the Purse away from me again by force Sancho And has he got it Womaâ— No I warrant ye he get it ' dslid I le tear his eyes out first Sancho Give it me hither let me see if there 's none missing She gives it there Fellow take your Purse again and d ee hear Constable bid the Beadle give that honesty there two hundred Lashes Woman Ah mercy upon me what means your Honour Sancho If you had defended your honesty as well as you did the Purse ye Whore you need not have feared Ravishing away with her and de' e hear you finisher if I catch you finishing in such another affair I shall put an end to you with Halter and so with a Quibble thrown at your head get ye out of my sight too Sirah Exeunt Man and Woman with Officers Cryer Mannel and People A Solon a Solon Huzza Sancho Come is there any more of ye hoh gad my hand is in rarely for business ever since the Cause of the Flask and the Pheasant Aside Enter Pedro hastily Pedro Room room here where 's my Lord the Governour Mannel There he is Doctor whatâ—s the matter Pedro Arm arm Sir you are not safe this Minute here 's news now come that several thousand of Buccaneers Pirates and Banditty have entred your Island here 's a Letter sent too from the Duke to give you information you must prepare for your defence immediately there 't is pray read it and let us hear the Contents of our condition Sancho Humph Tirte Aufuria art thou here again then there can be no good towards me Iâ—m sure the spightful-Rogue bids me read it too and he knows I can as well do that as fly Here you Secretarâ— let 's hear what this matter is come read out from another mouth I can Judge the better on 't Mannel reads the Letter Signior Sancho I am given to understand that câ—rtain Enemies of mine and of that Island mean suddenly to give it a furious Assault I know likewise that several Spies are entred there with design to kill you for they stand much in aw of your great Abilities take care of your self and Charge and I will be ready to send you what Succour I can Your Friend The DUKE Pedro Oh unfortunate Estate of this unhappy Island that because of its Wealth and Fertility is perpetually plagu'd with Enemies who bear a mortal spite to all those that rule those damn'd Banditty and Buccaneers have taken and flea'd three or four of our Governours already Sancho The Devil they have Mannel The noise comes nearer they are certainly entred my Lord therefore come away quickly and Arm and be our General to lead us against the Enemâ— Sancho ' Dslife I know no more what belongs to a General than a General does to Cow-keeping you knew my abilities well enough and if you had not liked 'em you should have told me so and have taken your Government again for if I am to be flea'd about it I have made a fine bargain indeed Mannel ' Dslife they 'l come upon us before we have taken up our Arms but it never shall be said that I stood tamely and saw so famous an Island lost I le go and defend the Gates as long as I can against ' em Exit Man Pedro And I le go and prepare a certain Poyson and squirt it into their Eyes with a Sirringe through the loophole of some private Avenue Exit Sancho Squirt at 'em said he ay if that would drive the Enemy away I am as well prepar'd for 't as any body but these Buck â—anditti Rogues I warrant carry Guns with Leaden pellets that will make no more of a Governour 's noddle than if t were made of Pastboard Hark they are coming still this your Ambition has brought you to Don Sancho you must be a Governour with a murrain t' ye you Plough-jobbing Rascal you Noise of Drums fighting and shouts Enter Teresa and Mary in their old Clothes Teres Oh that ever I was born Oh undone undone lost ruinâ—d Mary Oh Vather the saddest day that ever was known my Mother and I have bin plunder'd and stripp'd yonder the Men with the black Whiskers and Buff-Coats yonder have rouzled and frouzled us so that they have left ne'er an inch of us unhandled Oh Lord and one of 'em snatch'd so furiously at me to get off my vine Petticoat that udslidikins I thought once he had got away all Sancho Here one may see now the true Emblem of fallen Authority here 's the Countess and her
Love to Don Quixote DAmon Feast your Eyes on me Whither simply would you lead 'em Can you think another she Has more Charms than I to feed 'em He thâ—t leaves a Roâ—ie Cheek Lips Vermillion'd like a Ruby Blindly courser fare to seek Pox upon him for a Booby If a Smile the Lovers Ioy Can Delight I 'le doo 't Diviâ—ely Or d' ye love a Sleepy Eye Here is one can Ogle fiâ—ely Charms would make another Man Gaze an Age I 'll shew to win ye And when I 've shewn all I can If you go the Devil 's in you Oh Flower of Knights Don Quixote de la Mancha Don Quix. Oh! Dulcinea del Toboso guard well the Castle of my Constancy The foe is strong the Nimph is wondrou0s Lovely Oh I hear Musick now I shall get Breath Musick within The Married Couple's coming this was lucky Altis He shuns me then break Heart I 'll go and cry my Soul out Exit Altis Don Quix. Very strange this Sanc. Ay Here comes Mary the Jade tosses her Head like the fore-Horse of a Team She has made me almost Drunk with Aqua Vitae this morning and will be Fox'd her self before night she 's so crank upon the matter Musick plays Theâ— Enter Jaques led by two Maids and then Mary led by two Men Gines de Passamonte and Lopez disguis'd Then Teresa follows and Singers and Dancers Caras A very jolly Troop their â—aces too look merrily Quit. A sign their Hearts are Tun'd This is their time a Wedding Day 's the Jubilee of Life Bâ—sil Welcome welcome all and I wish you Joy my Friend Your Spouse there is well pleased I see by her looks Iaq. Ay I 'll make her look nine ways at once before I have done with her by Conscience Caras Take heed of Threatning Fâ—iend Mary's a Girl of Courage Mary Ay Ay lâ—â— him threaten 't is all he can do to hurt me I 'll deal with him well enough I warrant ye Odslidikins what de think I can't deal with him When I was a Maid and under subjection I prim'd and simper'd and was mealy-mouth'd as they call it but now I am a Wife I gad I 'll talk what I please and be Master too in my turn old Rock Gives Jaques a thump on the back Basil. Why well said Mrs. Bride give her a Buss for that Friend Mary How now What do as you are bid every Fool does as their bid Lobcock He rumples her to Kiss her and she gives him a Box on the Ear. Teres Ha ha ha 't is a plaguy mettled young Quean but 't is no wonder for at her Age I was just so my self This Jade puts me in mind of a pure Pâ—overb that says Honest Men marry quickly but Wise Men not at all Sanc. Nay Mary Gadzooks you 'll balk my Son in Law if you fâ—ght upon your Wedding Day that 's a little too soon your Mother and I did not go to Cuffs in a fortnight after at least Child Caras Oh 't is nothing she intended perhaps to entertain him as the famous Spartan Ladies us'd to do at their Marriages where a good Box on th' Ear given by the Bride to her new Husband was held a special favour Sanc. 'T is a special favour that she 'll entertain him with then as often as any Spartan of 'em all I 'll say that for her Don Q. A blow may be a sign of over fondness as Mothers sometimes Kissing Bite their Children Basil. Ay ay 't was a Jest they play the play together I warrant they 'r as fond of one another as two Kittlins Iaq. Nay I meant no harm not I it came a little soure though upon my leâ—t Ear by Conscience but come we wont fall out for all that Mary Mary Fugh I care not for falling out nor falling in I cod I wont be Buss'd but when I please What de think I 'm a Fool to be slopt and slopt every time you are bid do 't I cod I wont be slopt but when I 've a mind to 't my self nay look as you will I wont be mealy mouth'd not I I 'me Married now mun Basil. Faith Mrs. Bride and nothing but reason and now to end the difference in Mirth le ts have some Musick the great Don Quixot's Melancholly Come let the Wedding sports go forward and bid the Servants get Dinner ready in the Lodge next to the Grove I 've heard the Bride Dances and Sings her sâ—lf too my Dear To Quit. and I hope will pleasure us too add to the Entertainment upon her Wedding Day Quit. I hope she 'll be so kind and to encourage her there 's something towards House-keeping Gives her a Purse Mary O Lord 't is Gold Fackins Thank your noble Ladyship Iaq. Give your Honour many Thanks Mary Hoy What do you thank her for Look here Presto you are like to see no more on 't Puts up the Purse and makes Mouths at him Basil. Nay here 's another for the Bridegroom too we must not be kind by halves Gives anâ—ther Purse to Jaques Iaq. Heaven bless ye by Conscience you are a noble Gentlemen Now Flesh of mine Shakes the Purse and she snatches iâ— away Mary What now Why now 't is where it should be nay stand away I cod I 'le keep it I 'le make it in my bargain I 'le keep all the Money San. So the Jade begins already she 'll shew him rare Pranks ere long Iaq. Odsbodikins that were wise work Caras Ah let her have it let her have her Humour till night you know then you must strip her of all Basil. Oh by all means and besides 't will hinder our Mirth should you cross her now â— Come begin there The Clowns Song at the Marriage of Mary the Buxome in Eleven Movements Sung to a Division on a Ground Bass The Words implying a Country Match at Stool-Ball Ground Bass. COme all great small Short tall away to Stool-Ball First Movement Down in a Dale on a Summers day All the Lads and Lasses met to be merry A Match for Kisses at Stool-Ball play And for Cakes and Aâ—e and Cydâ—r and Perry Will and Tom Hall Dick and Hugh Kate Doll Sue Bess and Mâ—ll with Hodge and Bridget Ned and Nanny But when Plump Siss got the Ball in her Mutton Fist Once fretted she 'd hit it further than any Third Movement Running Hairing Gapeing Staring Reaching ' Stooping Hollowing Whooping Sun a Setting All thought fitting To sit down and rest 'em Fourth Movement Hall got Sue And Doll got Hugh All took by turns Their Lasses and Buss'd ' em Fifth Movement Iolly Ralph was in with Pegg Tho freckled like a Turkey Egg And she as right as is my Leg Still gave him leave to Touze her Sixth Movement Harry then to Katty Swore her Dugs were pretty Tho' they were all sweaty And large as any Cows are Seventh Movement Tom Melancholly was With his Lass For Sue what he e're cou'd do Wou'd not note him Eighth Movement Some