it at a better rate my sins stare me in the face my conscience tells me I am not ready for such a Trial I have lived a stranger to such thoughts as now I cannot refuse and which should have been admitted sooner But if to such a state any hope of mercy may be granted tho it be unspeakably little yet I cannot promise my self any such warning by sickness The sleeping virgins were called at Midnight and so may I. where can I pitch my Tents on Earth to be secure against a sudden remove Lord make thes thoughts effectual to prevent my loss of precious Time which at such a season will be esteemed precious tho now it be not O how swift how short my Time of Trial in order to Eternity how difficult how important a work is it to prepare for an Everlasting state what is all this world how little how meer a nothing to a departing soul and shall I after such reflexions continue to pursue shadows and pleas my self with empty dreams when being so near my final Judgment the common wisdom of a man requires me to mind it in good earnest and be more sollicitous about it then for any Thing Temporal O in what manner will Death open mine eyes by shutting the windows of sens how shall I then see the nothingness of what is but Temporal and the reality of what is Eternal We sometimes laugh to see the vanity of little Children who are greatly pleased with painted toys and busily imployed about trifles It extorts a smile to see them eager and industrious and mightily concerned in their childish sports to see them fight or weep for little things which we despise to observe with what sollicitude and care they l raise a little fabrick which three moments after they themselvs pull down or would otherwise tumble of its own accord We laugh at thes but should weep over our selvs as the greater and Elder Fools who are every whit as Silly yea infinitely more so that considering we know the frailty of our present Life and can look beyond the Grave to another world should yet mispend our precious Time on things which cannot profit and pleas our selvs with what is so unsuitable to our Age and State and suffer our passions to work with violence for a thing of nought and our greatest diligence care and zeal to be exercized on things impertinent and vaine that are perishing in in themselvs and can contribute nothing to our Eternal wellfare And is it not thus with reference to all that men toyl and labor for with the neglect of an immortal State The voluptuous Sadducee will not refuse the present gratification of his sensual appetite because he is uncertaine of another day Let us eat and drink for to morrow we dye Should not the same motive quicken my diligence in a better work and because my Lord may come suddenly as a thief in the night immediately prepare to meet him Let me now therefore o my soul look forward to the end of Life and Time and so let me esteem and seek and choos and do every thing in the first place which then I shall wish I had Let me do nothing now which I verily believe I shall then be ashamed or sorry to reflect on that by thinking what a condition I shall then wish to have my soul in I may now provide my self much better then I have done thitherto That while I am in the greatest probability of living I may suppose my change to be near and so not dare do any thing but what I would or might do if I were in the present expectation of Death To this end let me goe down to the Potters house descend to the consideration of my mortality and dwell among the Tombs remembring the Aegyptians built themselvs better Tombes then Houses because they were to dwell longer in them Let every nights repose serve me as a memorial of my last sleep and let my Bed stand for the model of my Coffin This is the only way to be dead to this world to be able to judge of things now as we shall do after death according to immutable Eternal Truth X. The Brevity of Life considered as the fruit of sin There are but three ways of leaving this world as Abel Adam or Enoch A diligent improvement of Time farther prest and the neglect of it bewailed THe shorting of our Days is the fruit of sin We dye because we have sinned and yet we should not sin as now if this were not forgot that we must dye From the First Transgression of Adam we derive our death and therefore some of his Posterity lived longer then he Which proves that the lengthning of our Days is the peculiar Gift of God and yet 't is such a Gift as was more desired formerly then since the apearance of Christ for we read of none in the New Testament since Life and Immortality is brought to Light by the Gospel who desired a long continuance here on earth Were we delivered from sin the sting of Death by having made our peace with God in the Bloud of Jesus Death would not be frightfull or put on such a ghastly vizor as to most it doth But we are uncertaine of our Justification we waver between hopes and Fears as to our Final Sentence and are conscious to our selvs that we are not ready for our great Acount This makes Death â—o terrible Considering with all that it is inevitable the way of all the Living For tho the curs be removed and the sting be taken out by our H. Saviour so that the Souls of Believers are safe and shall not be toucht by the second Death yet God hath not taken away the stroke of it from the Body tho a Christian is assured of deliverance from Hell he is not exempted from the Grave as his passage to Heaven Prepare me Lord by the free Remission of all my sins and make me meet for the Blessed Inheritance by sanctifying grace and then thy Time is best Thy Holy will be done No matter then wither my Death be violent or what we call Naturall It will be one of the two for I can't expect to be Translated by a miraculous change as Holy Enoch was and as they shall be who shall be found alive at the world when our Glorious Judge shall come againe There are but those three ways of leaving Earth and the Three First Men of whose departure we read in Scripture are Instances of all Three Abel of a violent Death Adam of a natural one and Enoc of a Translation The variety and order of their Departure as one observes is very admirable and deserves to be considered For all mankind must follow one or other of those three Examples Every man or woman that is born into the world must leave it by one of those three ways Either be cut off by a violent Death as Abel the first man who dyed or dye a Natural Death
to which Immortality is annext and labor to be accepted with God at whose Bar I must be judged endeavoring to keep the testimony of a good conscience and then it is not much wither I pass thro good Report or Evill Report no contempt or frowns or threatnings of men need then discourage me Tho I should be trampled on by the foot of Pride while others are happy in a dream for a little while and it may be have a prossperous passage to damnation I 'le rather thank God for delivering me from their Temptations and giving me the opportunity and call to hasten my Preparations for a Better World. Let God dispose of my Condition here and Reputation too as best shall please his Sovereign will only be pleased to keep me upright and to preserve me from Everlasting shame and confusion of Face after the general Resurrection and final Judgment vouchsafe me a portion now in thine approving love and own me for Thine at last in the Great and Terrible Day of Reckoning that then I may hear the Blessed Euge and enter into my Lords Joy XVII The same Argument considered farther as dissuasive from Worldliness and Earthly mindedness and as proper to confute the vanity of long Projects and great Designs for this World. ARe the years of my Life but few and they hastening to a Period and may this be my last Let me not then greedily covet riches and abundance and wast my little time to scrape together large Provisions for many years to come when I have no assurance to see the end of this Is it becoming such a belief to toyl from day to day that I may lay up that which I must so soon leave as if I were to spend and Eternity here on earth and in the mean while neglect the one thing Necessary Am I not upon the shore of Eternity may not the next tide carry me off and shall I spend my whole Life in Diversions from the maine Busines of it have I nothing els to doe but to gather shells if they were Pearls the absurdity were still the same and pile them upon heaps till I am snatcht away past all Recovery Shall I be regardless of an Eternal State and run the hazard of being undone for ever by sollicitous care about pretended Necessaries for a long abode on Earth Much less for superfluities when I am not certaine of the possession this one year Shall I magnifie and admire what is so soon to be parted with value my self upon thes things so as to despise those that have less and envy such as have more and suffer my mind to be distempered and my passions immoderate on every change of these things Tho I know besides my own mortality that to inforce the argument there is a principle of Corruption in all these things that our very Manna here in a little while will stink and Bread which is the staff of Life moulder our richest garments wax old and rot silver and gold rust and the greatest Beauty wither and every thing that is Earthly decay and perish And shall not this teach me to sit loose from all such Things Can I imagine that in my last hour it will be easier to part with much then little or better in the day of Judgment to have a great Estate to answer for then a lesser one We read concerning the Patriarch Abraham who rightly understood the transitory nature of riches and his own mutable Condition that the only purchase he made with his riches was a Grave choosing to take possession of the land promised him rather by a mark of his parting with it then of his Possessing it Did I think oftner and more seriously o my Soul of tarrying here but a littte while I should more easily be persuaded that a little of this world were sufficient to carry me thro it I should consider more that my Heavenborn soul is made and designed for another an endless World and therefore should not so far forget his own People and Fathers house as eagerly to pursue and seek what is suited only to the Body for a little while and whereof a little with Contentment will be sufficient The same Reflexion may be usefull to contract our Thoughts to present duty that we may not perplex our minds with long designs and projects which if we dye this year will come to nothing Our great Business in this world is adapted to the little portion of Time which is allowed us Not that good Designs for the publick Benefit may not be begun by one and finisht by others or that we are not obliged prudently to provide for those who shall come after us by attempting many Things of probable Advantage to Posterity But considering the shortness and uncertainty of Life not only should the most necessary Things be first minded and not put off by prosecuting such designs as may signifie some what to others when we are dead but we should not now omit that which we may hope to compass ourselvs to begin such things whose accomplishment must depend on the Pleasure of our successors Consideration and faithfull Counsell would in this case have prevented the fruitless expence of many mens Time and Money which if otherwise imployed might have turned to good account to themselves and others And this heightens our folly that while we pursue great projects in reference to this world and dye without effecting them our preparations for Eternity are neglected and so we are suddenly cut off in the midst of our Folly and all our Thoughts perish how easily how soon may they do so the difference and distance between Death and Life being no more then that of a Candle lighted from its being blown out and if it is exposed to all winds how quickly may that Happen XVIII The consideration of the certaine near Approach of an Everlasting State amplifi'd and prest to in force an Holy Life IN this world we begin a Year and quickly come to the end of it and ere long the little number of our years and days will be expired But when death conveys us into the World of Spirits the day of Eternity shall never be closed with an Evening Of how fearfull consequence is that Death by which an Eternity must be decided What attention what seriousness what diligence what care doth the decision of so important a matter call for ETERNAL what will be the next word o my soul how much am I concerned to know it will it be Blessedness or Misery will it be Life or Death This one word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the unspeakable Delight of blessed Saints and the confusion and Despair of condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder then we but our Immortal Souls shall indure beyond the utmost limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose duration there is no end Shall I then
by the glory of his Father be meant that of the Divinity as the Original and Author of all things in nature as Creator of the World and by the Glory of his holy Angels be understood that of the Legal administration the Law being given by the disposition of Angels and by his own Glory that of the Gospel as he is the Messiah that in the Glory of all these he shall come to Judgment we have a summary account of the three different Revelations which God hath made of himself to mankind by the Light of Nature that of the Law and the more manifest one of the Gospel According to which every man is to be judged at the last day Tho we cannot distinctly tell what or how great our Lord's Glory will then be we may be certaine it will be suitable to the dignity of his Royal person suitable to the grandeur of his Fathers Majesty with the splendor of a Triumphant Prince who is Heir of all Things and hath all power in Heaven and in Earth committed to him the Great Lord of both Worlds Head of Angels an men and suitable to his glorious office as Mediator and the apointed Judge of Quick and Dead If at his Transfiguration his Face shone and his Rayment was white and glittering how much more splendid will his last Appearance be When the Bodies of his Saints shall be seven times brighter then the lustre of the Sun and if his Members shall then be so glorious how transcendently more so will their Head their Lord appear If the delivery and promulgation of the Law on Mount Sinai was accompanied with such circumstances of terrible Majesty how much more may we suppose the Great Assize will be attended with When he comes to judge for the violation of the Law and the contempt of the Gospel And if even Moses did then exceedingly quake and fear what will be the consternation and trembling of the wicked World at the Coming of Christ When he shall be revealed from Heaven in flaming Fire with a glorious retinue of his mighty Angels as so many bright Stars about the more glorious Sun of Rightousness The lights of Heaven shall be Ecclipst the visible Sun shall vail its blushing head as infinitely out shone the present glory of the Creation be all benighted by reason of his transcendent Brightness Yea the Heavens shall be wrapt up as a scrol the Elements melt away with a mighty noise the Earth and all its works be burnt up and the whole universe as one great Bonefire to adorn the Triumph of our Lords Appearance And this ushered in by the voice of an Archangel proclaiming his approach and the voice of God supplying the use of a Trumpet to raise the Dead and possess mankind with an awefull Reverence of their Judge Thus in triumph as a Conqueror and a Judge shall he come againe who once appear'd in the form of a Servant to be judged and condemn'd by Man. Then he was called King in scorn now he will appear as much above all Earthly and Humane Greatness as once he stoopt for our sakes beneath it Then the Contempt of Nations and no way esteem'd Desireable when he came from the womb of his Virgin-Mother now the Terror of the World when he comes againe from the right hand of his Father No more to be subject to a state of Meaness but to render vengeance to all 2 Thess 1. chap. who know not God and obey not the Gospell and to be glorified in his Saints and admired in and by all them that believe The Holy Scripture doth frequently and expressly assure us that he will thus come againe and for these ends He is exalted and gone to Heaven as the Head of his Church and the King of Glory and when he foretold his Ascension he gave a promise of his Return The Heavens are to containe him till the Restitution of all things By his Providence and by the H. Spirit he now carries on the designs of his Death and when these are accomplisht he will appear to the Joy of Believers and the confusion of the Wicked He is entred as our Forerunner Heb. 19 â—â— 10. c within the vail to prepare Mansions and to take possession for us and will not allways leave us in this dark and defiling World. He knoweth our sorrows and heareth our prayers and bottles our Tears takes notice of our groans and in all our Afflictions he is afflicted Being reconciled by his Death at his first Coming we shall be saved by his Life since he lives to make good his word of coming againe How confortable is the news of it how joyfull will be the meeting to such as expect and prepare to see him When the Sea and the Graves shall yeild up their Dead and all the Prisoners of Hope lift up their heads arise goe up and meet the Lord in the Air and ascend with him to the Heavenly Glory But who can express how dismal a Sight this will be to the secure and the Impenitent to all who dye in their Sins to behold their Judge who formerly offered to be their Saviour upon a glorious Throne and all the Children of Adam summon'd to his Tribunal to have nothing to answer against his charge and no way to escape his condemning sentence they despised him as a Lamb offer'd in Sacrifice to take away the sins of the World but shall no longer do so when he comes as the Lion of the tribe of Juda to devour and destroy the Enemies of his Crosse Now they will not own him for their Lord but shall then find he is so by the vengeance he will execute As a Jesus as a Saviour they rejected him making light of his Salvation despising his Mercy refusing his Grace but the neglected Gospell will then be a more killing Letter then the Law. He who by his Ambassadors doth now intreat Sinners to be reconciled will then be as deaf to their Intreaties as they have been to his Because they would not turn at his Reproof hearken to the call of his word and obey its voice they must hear the sentence of Condemnation and feel the Execution of it wither they will or no. Yea the bloud of his Crosse will upbraid accuse and plead against them And what ever foolish Evasions they now make to continue in security they shall then be speechless and self-condemned Nothing will be able to hide them from the amazing Presence of their Judge or from the Wrath of the Lamb. Who will inflict an intolerable and righteous vengeance an Everlasting Destruction upon all the Ignorant and ungodly World. The Greatest the Stoutest the boldest of them shall then be humbled and stand before Christ's Tribunal upon an equal Level with the meanest seized with horror filled with Guilt Anguish and Despair and find to their Eternal Confusion that the Judge is no respecter of Persons but every man shall receive according to his wâ—rks The Mighty shall not be
spared for his Greatness nor the mean man for his Poverty O Fool o Wretch that I am shall many then say who now brave it out in Pride and vanity unconcern'd about a future Judgment not to be persuaded by the Terrors of the Lord which I was so often warn'd and foretold of what refuge of Hope can I now flye to what can I say for my self what can I doe to escape to dye to exist no longer I would have no compassion on my own Soul I would not so much as consider its Danger I shall now find none from Christ I can expect none his Mercy is gone and gone for ever I am lost undone tormented and must Eternally be so O the amazement Horror and Despair of self condemned Sinners in that day of Vengence O my Soul what is there of greater Consequence or of greater Certainty from the word of God then that I must appear to Judgment when Christ shall come againe Lord teach me to believe it firmly to consider it often to lay it seriously to Heart to act under the influence and power of it as long as I live that at the Great Resurrection from the Dead I may lift up my head with a joyfull Hope and find the Judge to be my Friend my Advocate my Jesus and not my Enemy and Destroyer XXIII Meditations of the Glory of Christ in his Glorifyed Saints and of the thankfull Admiration of Believers when He shall come againe from Heaven which shall be continued to all ETERNITY THe Terror of our Lords Appearance to Judgment cannot be greater to the wicked then the comfort and Joy it will be to the Saints When they shall see him whom their Souls love ascend with him to Heaven and be wellcom'd according to his promise with those indearing words Matt. 25. Come the Blessed Children of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from before the foundation of the world 'T was for your sakes I assumed flesh lived on Earth and dyed on the crosse to purchase this Glorious Kingdom for you which I now come to give you the Possession of 'T was for this I prayed and suffered on Earth for this I interceded ever since in Heaven I was heard in that prayer accepted in those sufferings and my Intercession granted that where I am you may be also to behold my Glory Come therefore Good and Faithfull Servants enter into your Lords Joy. O what Ravishing words will thees be what an Extasy of Love and kindness is implied in them What matter of Rejoycing may it now give me to admit the Hope that my Blessed Saviout will say such words as these to me and bid me stand upon his Right Hand among his sheep O what an exulting frame of soul will such Expressions raise how shall all my doubts and fears and sorrows be scatter'd in a moment and cease for ever O Glorious Day when my Blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledg me for his own and plead my cause against all the accusations of Satan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and sufferings as my Lord upon the crosse It is Finished It is Finished My warfare being accomplisht being more then Conqueror over all thro him who loved me and dyed for me and now is come to wipe away all Tears from mine Eyes as it were with the Napkin that was bound about his Head when laid in the Grave all being the fruit of his Meritorious Death Then shall I have nothing more to fear or wish or beg I shall offend provoke and dishonour him no more or by my folly and scandal discredit his holy name and Gospell But by consummate Holiness be fitted to Rejoyce in his Presence Love and celebrate his Praise for ever I shall never more lament his Absence or complaine of his Anger never see a cloud on his Face or a Frown in his look any more Now I must wait and pray struggle and strive labor and suffer desire and expect believe and hope c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness love and joy vision and fruition bliss and glory unutterable and everlasting shall take place All the Attributes of God all the wonderfull Perfections of Christ will then be glorifyed in Believers and admired by them His invariable Truth will then be honoured which they trusted to and waited for for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vaine they hoped in his word and ventured their Salvation upon it and now they shall receive the End of their Faith and Hope infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear when the Constitution Administration and design of the Mediators Kingdom shall be fully known in the admirable order and beauty of every part of it with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious end and the whole undertaking crownd with so blessed an issue What is now a mystery even to Believers themselvs and hath a vail upon it shall then no longer be so all the riddles of Gods Graee and Providence be plainly understood O how transporting a view must it needs be when the Glory of all the divine Attributes which God intended to accomplish in and by Christ shall be manifest to his Redemed Saints The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unscearchable Wisdom when we shall all see the reality and substance and intire scheme of all that God designed in and by him all that was typified of him and foretold concerning him in the old Testament How will it all appear to be the Manifold Wisdom of God. Ephes 3. c. 10. As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Mediator fullfilling the Truth of a terrible Threatning in his death by the same way accomplishing many gracious Promises Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Div. Attrib Wisdom Satisfying Justice and at the same time showing Mercy manifesting infinite Grace and kindness by shedding of bloud conquering Death by dying and disarming the Law by obedience to it c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel by the foolishness of preaching making men wise to Salvation by the knowledg of the Crosse and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it c. how wonderfully will a clear view of these things discover and glorifie the Wisdom of God. But the Love and Grace of Christ the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God will then be magnified in an especial manner What but Soveraine Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsell of God about our Redemption what admirable Love and Grace in the whole management of that design what unparrallel'd kindness in the accomplishment of it by the sacrifice of the son of God and how glorious will this Love appear when he shall come againe to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase with what admiring
Thank fullness shall Believers then contemplate the unskearchable Riches of his Grace in all the parts and instances of his Humiliation from his conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and discoveries made of it from the first Promise to it's completion yea from before the foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the son untill his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerfull Grace which snatcht us as fire brands out of Everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by Heavenly Light conquer'd the opposition of our Stubborn Wills Sanctified our Carnal Hearts rescued us from the tyranny of Satan and the dominion of lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtle endeavors of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the End giving us victory over Death conducting us thro the dark valley raiising our Bodies reviving and reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length raising our imperfect Services with Eternal Life yea tho our best services were mixt with sin our holyest duties spotted our most couragious sufferings mixt with unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil but all the ingredients of a perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the freeness tenderness riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redecmed ones Saying This is He who made our peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Bloud bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us he assumed our nature that we might pertake of his became the Son of Men that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we thro his Poverty might beeome Rieh stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and reproach to conferr honour on us was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so Eternally felt the stroke of his Anger against sin that we might not perish under it Was a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefs that we might rejoyce his agonies and bloudy sweat were for our Refreshment and by his stripes we are healed he bowed his head on the Crosse that we might lift up ours in Triumph and because we had eaten of the forbidden fruit he hung on the accursed Tree 'T was for us that he suffered the frowns of Heaven the enmity of Hell the rage of Devils the hatred and persecution of the world He was judged that we might not come into Condemnation he was crucifyed that we might be glorified and he is now Come againe finally and fully to effect it O the height and depth and length and breath of the Love of Christ which passeth knowledg but calls for admiration and Everlasting Gratitude This is the Blessed Day we long'd and waited and prayed for This is our Gracious our Glorious Lord whose love melted our Hearts whose Promise was our Support whose Word was our Rule whose Spirit was our Comforter whose Crosse was our Crown and the hope of his Appearance our chief Consolation Lord what am I what was I that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me I can remember when I was ignorant of God a Stranger to him at Enmity with him under the power of Darkness and the Devil serving divers lusts and Pleasures hastening to Hell and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the world stampt his Image upon me pardoned my Sin and imbrac't me in the arms of his unchangeaâ—â—â— Love. O Happy Change aâ—â— yet how little did I prize his Grace admire his love and express my own or pomote his glory and honour him in the Eyes of others how did I dishonor my profession and holy Calling as his Disciple by agravated Apostacy but he recovered me by Repentance and healed my Backslidings and received me graciously because he loved me freely O admirable Grace to pardon and save and bring to Glory such an unthankfull Wretch as I have been to make such a difference between me and others whom I knew on earth that the same Power which makes them Miserable now makes me Blessed that when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction I am admitted to behold his Glory and shall dwell with him for ever O how much â—â—â—e do I now see and find then ever I believed of the Love of Christ and his promised Salvation how much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer how much more Excellent is the Heavenly State then ever I thought or expected I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth part of that which I now see and feel I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring and praising the Incomparable Grace and Glory of my Blessed Redeemer Such holy admiration will certainly produce the most thankfull Adorations of our Lord Jesus Saying one to another I Bless the Lord of Love and Glory who humbled himself so low as our Mediator and hath exalted us so high as the blessed fruit of it how can we ever enough adore and praise him who condescended so far and hath done and sufferd so much for us See how the Holy Angels worship this King of Glory and have not every one of us more reason to do so O let all the Quire of Heaven celebrate his glorious Love and let us his Redeemed his Glorified ones say continually Let the Lord be magnified who hath loved us and washed us from our sins in his own Bloud and made us Kings and Priests unto God his Father and thro him ours O Mercifull Saviour O glorious Change O Happy Society with whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth how we wept and praid and fasted and mourned together when we suffered and complain'd and sin'd together O the Marvellous change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us and in us These Bodies these Souls this Life this Place this Company these Injoyments are not like those in yonder World. But alas who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour how smal a portion is it we understand of that World How little can I conceive and much less express Blessed be God we know so much as the matter of our joyfull Hopes and forever Blessed be God who hath promised and provided such a Glory for us as cannot now be fully known
forgiven T is not the Vnpardonable Sin fer I desire to repent and am resolv'd to return I will still cleave to the Lord and wait upon him and follow hard after him and take no other course for Deliverance and comfort Mine is not a single Case I am not the only Soul that hath been so distress'd and yet found relief by seeking unto God. This therfore good for me to hope Lam. 3 c. 26. and quietly wait for the Salvation of God. I will draw near to God I will lay at his foot and continue in all ways of Worship and Duty wherin I may hope to meet with the quickning and comfort of his Spirit I will seek relief from no other I will keep as near him as I can wither els shall I goe he alone hath the words of Eternal Life he alone can create what is the fruit of his own lips Peace Peace I will encourage my self in the consideration of his General Grace Vid. Mr. Baxter's method for Peace of Conscience and the probabilities of his special Love I will recollect my former Experiences when I had some good hope thro Grace concerning my Adoption I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. If God will give me so much Grace as to continue waiting I will hope still and tho I walk in darkness and see little or no Light I will stay my self upon the Lord. And if by the want of sensible Consolation he will make me more humble and keep me in a greater Submission to his will I will bless his holy name and derive more comfortable hope from thence then from the most sweet and sensible Consolations I ever had and look upon Humility self denial Dependance on God Resignation to him and Hatred of sin as a better sign of his Love then the highest fervors of Affection in his service can be Oh that I had formerly done as much for Holiness as I have for Comfort by the joyment of the one I should have had more of the other the exercise of Grace would have discover'd the Truth of it Let me therfore accuse and condemn my self but still trust and love God and wait upon him Let me resolve never to choose a new Lord or Master Or take up with any Portion beneath God him self or any of Hope or Salvation but by J. Christ my only Saviour neither let me forsake the way of Faith and Holiness for all the hopes and Happiness of this world if put to my choice But be allways able to say Blessed be God I now can that I will return to my former Husband for then it was better with me then now I had peace and refreshment in my former ways I will return to them Lord forsake me not utterly keep not thine Anger for ever cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy H. Spirit from me Restore unto me the Joy of thy Salvation that my Heart may be in larged to prayse thy name and to run the way of thy Commandments XXVI Confession of Sin Humiliation and Repentante must follow upon Self-Examination Advice concerning Repentance of some particular Backsliding The great Perplexity and Distress of a Penitent Sinner represented as a Caution against returning to Folly. THat we may turn unto the Lord is the end of searching and trying our Ways Lord I have been searching my Heart and considering my ways but can find little or no good neither can I discover all that is evill in both But I find enough to make my own Heart condemn me and Thou who art greater then my Heart and knowest all things mayst much more condemn me I am altogether unclean polluted and abominable If I goe about to enumerate the Sins of my Thoughts words and actions in all the periods of my Life hitherto if I consider my omissions of Duty and dayly Crimes by actual commission if I reflect upon my Sins according to their respective objects as either against Thee o God and against my Neighbour and against my own Soul or compare my Heart and Life with thy strict and holy Law and think in how many Instances I have tansgrest every of thy Righteous Commandments I find they are more then the hairs on my head they can not be number'd who can tell how oft he hath offended many of my sins make little Impression on my Memory doe I observe them not I remember them not but this hinders not but they may make deep Impression on my Conscience which will one day be awake and set them in order before me and they are all written in thy book of Remembrance in order to my final Judgment All my sins are before thee but thou requirest my humble Confession of them in order to Repentance and as a part therof that I freely acknowledg their hainous aggravations to shame and humble my self the more before thee whom I have offended and provok't How long did I serve diverse Lusts and Pleasures with the neglect and forgetfullness of God How sad a prospect may I take of the far greatest part of my Life past especially of my younger years which have been trifl'd away in vanity and folly And since I have known the way of Truth how shamefully have I prevaricated with God I am confounded to consider how often I have despised the Commandment and rebelled against the Light against the Principles of education and the checks of Conscience frequent warnings from God and reproofs from Others contrary to my Profession and Experience contrary to the obligation of peculiar mercies solemn Promises Resolutions and Engagements and a nearer Relation to God then of many others which sins have more dishonor'd my Lord discredited his H. Gospel gratifi'd the Devil scandaliz'd the world and strengten'd the hands of the ungodly then the sins of others And alas How much of my precious Time is thus gone which if duely improv'd would now afford me comfort to review How much Guilt have I contracted every year particularly in this last I now begin another which will soon be gone as that which was concluded yesterday And shall I only advance in Age to increase the number of my sins and heigthen my Account against the Day of Reckoning In Temporal and Civil Affaires Day unto Day uttereth knowledg and Night unto Night teacheth Wisdom We are Taught by Experience many usefull lessons which we should not els have learnt to reform many Errors and mistakes to correct many rash and foolish Actions and Speeches c. And shall I not learn wisdom by the Experience of another year in what concerns my greatest my Eternal Interest shall not the reflexion on my past sins prevent my Commission of the like How many Years hath God vouchsaf't me to work out my salvation but how little have I done towards it had I dyed this last year how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance before his Tribunal what opportunities of doing and receiving good have I let
find every year that the Day dies into night the summer into winter and herbs and plants lose their beauty and verdure and shed their blossoms may I not hence learn to consider and prepare for my own approaching Change In prosperity health and ease and life to expect and make provision for trouble sickness paine and Death as every wise man in summer would do for winter and work with all my might while it is called to day while the Light continues because the night of darkness is at hand when none can work VIII Of Evills to be Expected in this Year the wisdom and mercy of God in concealing from us the knowledg of Future Events NOt only few and uncertaine but Evill likewise are the days of the years of my Life may every one say with the Patriarch Jacob. A sufficient portion of evil for every year may well be expected when our Lord tells us there is a certaine measure alloted for every day Sufficient to the day is the evil of it Not only is our Life short but troublesome full of vexatious mixtures We can not sing a Requiem to our souls when one Great Calamity is past for we know not in this Region of Changes but another a greater may be at hand one messenger of ill news may succeed and out doe another as it was with Job We come weeping into the world in a most helpless forloen state and if we escape the dangers of Infancy and the casualties of childhood and after that out live the snares follies of youth we are tost upon the Pikes of Time and Chance and sadden and disquiet our selvs with a thousand griefs and sorrows by inevitable and unexpected occasions tho we increas the number of needless Cares and Fears and discontents till at length a sudden stroke arrests us we fetch a groan and dye Who can give a Catalogue of the Afflictions and Calamities Perplexities and Disapointments incumbrances crosses and Evill accidents of Humane Life by means whereof millions are disconsolate and sad mourn and complaine weep and sigh and from day to day are fed with the Bread of Affliction and the water of Adversity Not to mention mens fluctuating restless thoughts of Heart importunate desires bafled projects defeated Purposes which suppose or bring vexation A good share of these is not to be auoided and yet very few can be particularly fore seen who could prognosticate a year agoe the Evills which have happened since publick and private personal and relative to the Countries Citties Families and persons we are concerned for and who can certainly foretell the Events of this insueing year God hath intermixt Good and Evill in the Life of Man he hath set Prosperity against Adversity saith Solomon to the end that man should find nothing after him 7. Eccles 14. that he may not know what shall come next wither a Prosperous or a Calamitous Event What a change may be made in a year by the meer Casualty of humane Events by the Treachery of friends or the malice of Enemies or the more immediate hand of God We know not what shall be on the morrow much less what a twelve moneth may produce Because what ever may be disposed to happen from natural causes or Civil counsels may be altered by a perticular decree of Providence Prepare me Lord and every of those in whose Felicity I more especially take part for all the Calamities and Sorrows thine Infinite Wisdom shall think fit to exercize us with this following year and by thy mercifull Providence and gracious Conduct cause them to work for Good Furnishing us with suitable strength and wisdom to acquiesce in thy good pleasure and obey they Will. I thank thee O Heavenly Father that thou hast reserved the knowledg of future Times and Seasons to thy self and hid Events from men Least by considering them certaine we should presume in case they are Good or should despairingly afflict our selves by foreseeing the Evill we know to be inevitable Did we certainly foreknow the Good that would befall us we should not Trust in thee to bring it to pass or heartily implore thy Care and conduct Did we forsee the Evills we shall suffer before they overtake us we should be overwhelmed with diffidence and Despair Many a Mother who rejoiceth at the Birth of a son would mourn to foresee what a man what a Son he will prove Such an increas of knowledg would increas our sorrow such a Prescience would transport and discompose us by unseasonable Joys and Sorrows born out of Time make us Remiss in our Duty to thee and weaken our Dependance on thine unerring Wisdom Truth and Power IX The Supposition of dying this Year should be improved the consequence of redeeming time and providing for Eternity farther prest The Folly of Elder persons is condemned and checkt from the Example of Children 'T is adviseable to familiarize the thoughts of Death and to imagine before hand what apprehensions of things we shall then have THe longest Life is but a day multiplied and who can certifie or assure me which will be my last He only who was God as well as man could say Mine Hour is not yet come Is all my Life given me to resolue this Question Whither I shall be in Heaven or Hell for ever And have I any time to lose and squander away as superfluous have I any more then needs 'T is no impossible or unreasonable supposition to make that I may dye this year Let me admit that thought and imagine my self on a bed of sickness wearied with paine and ready to leave this world the Physitians gone despairing of my recovery my friends about me weeping and all things in a doleful melancholy posture suited to such a state feeling within my self the presages of Death expecting the final stroke in an hour or two more What is then the value of sensual Pleasures can I then relish or savor them what then is Honour to me who shall never goe abroad more to receive it till carried to my grave will it then comfort me to have lived in Reputation and Applause if my Heart was not humble under it and the Honour of God promoted by it can Riches and a great estate support me when I am just packing up for a removal to the other world in that hour will it be any satisfaction to have made a stir and noise for a few years upon Earth to be talkt of for a while longer then other men are thes the things my dying thoughts will be most concerned to reflect on Thes dignities pleasures and possessions offerd to a dying man would rather opraid then tempt him they come too late as a Princes pardon to a man whose head is off Dye I must and appear before my Judge to answer for all that I have received and done in the body Fool that I was shall I then too justly say to my self not to have considered this much sooner not to have provided for
and yet how few do take the warning carefully to prevent the like unhappiness O Lord preserve those strong Convictions those serious thoughts those holy Resolutions those lively apprehensions of the Life to come of the Evill of sin and the Terrors of thy wrath which the Sight of dying persons hath at any time awakened in my soul O the Eloquence of a dying sinner to persuade to Repentance even when he hath lost his speech and lays gasping and trembling on a bed of sickness breathing out his last faint breath and passing into the other world to answer for the crimes and follies of a wicked Life Lord revive thes thoughts upon my soul and let me feel the power and influence of them in the hour of Temptation and in every time of need And let the consideration of the death of Believers the Blessedness they are thereby entred into and the Holiness they are to posses'd of quicken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow When I think where they are and what they are doing what is their work and what their state what their continual imployment and what their Injoyments and how different from ours I cannot but wish to be with them to be as they are and do as they do to know and love and praise God as they They are not hindred by such a clog as this body is to us or tempted by their senses appetite and fancy to sin against him they complaine not of a seducing flesh unruly passions low and disordered thoughts of Temporal afflictions spiritual desertions the snares of the world and the malice and subtility of the Devil we who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties and storms which they are freed from They are now rejoycing in the light of God's countenance and shall never question his love more while we are in Tears and sorrows groaning to be delivered But think o my soul that they were lately such as we are now They were members of the militant Church before they entred into joy and Triumph They had their conflicts and difficulties their hour of Temptation and time of trial as we have ours They were slandered and persecuted and sadned and disapointed as their Followers are They went to Heaven the same way and got the victory after the same manner by Repentance and Faith and humble persevering Obedience They were once imperfect as we are now and complained of the Body of Sin and Death and struglings of unmortified lust as we doe and were sometimes in the dark about their intrest in the promise and walkt heavily by the hiding of God's face and indured Temptation even as we And as we have nothing to doe or suffer but what they met with we have the same encouragement that administred to their support the same God and Saviour the same way and rule the same assistance by the aids of his H. Spirit offred us the same promises and the same rewards proposed which they injoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they pass'd thro the dark valley and so must we their Earthly Tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to goe the same way to Rest and Glory and wait God's Time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to doe and suffer and then all Tears shall be wipt from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect XIII What Influence the consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered Especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility mortification and self denial what seriousness watchfulness and resolved constancy would every Christian live on Earth did he act allways under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labor or boggle at a few difficulties in our way What tho I meet with injuries and affronts hardships and inconveniencies being now in a forreign country and every day I live one days journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joys Did I look more to the Everlasting World should I not make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great Business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the Fears of man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Should I not order all my affaires answer all Temptations mortifie in ward Lusts live in the Exercize of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more dead to this world more carefull to call my self frequently to an account to renew my Repentance Would not my converse be more usefull and edifying my discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my charity to men more unfeigned and extensive and my preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affaires did we repeat it frequently to our selvs at least every morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this graine of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure thoughts against the Infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vaine and sensual actions and to cure vaine affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal life as we see men doe to get Riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting destruction as others doe to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my faith How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly ThÃngs How often have I resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal world to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and
who loveth Righteousness will clear my Integrity if it may best subserve his own Great and holy ends at least he will stand by and help me when all forsake me and if he speak Peace and give inward Consolation who can speak Trouble and his final Judgment which is near at hand will distribute rewards and punishments to all according to their works Suppose farther that I should want a sepulcher after Death There is nothing I could better be without If God receive my Soul and will raise my Body at the last day wither it putrifie and consume under ground or above it is no great matter They who are alive will be more concern'd in that then I shall be Graves are for the sake of the Living rather then the Dead The Sun the Raine the Air Birds Beasts Worms will all contribute to give me Burial if men deny it The only difference is that it will be a little longer ere I am buried If my soul rest in the Bosome of my Saviour and by persevering in the love and practise of the Truth I have secured my Reputation with wise and Good men I need not be sollicituos what become of my Body My Almighty Judge will raise me a glorious Body like his own and reunite it to my soul As easily as certainly as for any of those whose Bodies were preserved in Caves and Vaults in Proud Sepulchers and under stately Monuments I may dye this year and shall not then have the satisfaction to see my Children or nearest Kindred educated provided for setled and disposed of But is not the Everliving God the same cannot he as well take care of them when I am gone as now answer all my prayers after my deceas and exercise that Fatherly care wisdom and love which shall dispose of their conditions save them from Temptations and supply all their wants and exceed all my desires in reference to them and fullfill his Covenant promise from generation to generation to the Childrens of them that fear him O how weak is my Faith that cannot trust God in so common and plaine a case Lastly I may dye this year and not live to see the Ruine of the Antichristian Kingdom and Interest and the accomplishment of many Excellent Promises which concern the Rest and Peace and Purity and Glory of the Churches of Christ on earth in the latter days But have I not deserved by my provoking unbelief Ingratitude and Disobedience to dye in the Wilderness and not behold the promised land or see the Peace of Jerusalem and will not the strugglings of Satan to support Babilon infer a dismal night of darkness and distress before the expected morning of deliverance so that it may now if ever be truly said Henceforth Blessed are the Dead who dye in the Lord. And if God will take me to himself in the other world I cannot possibly be a looser tho I should not see the Beginnings of a New Heaven and a New Earth in this However I rejoice in Hope and pray incessantly for the Resurrection of the Witnesses and the rebuilding of Sion and the more plentifull Effusion of see the H. Spirit the great comprehensive promise of the Latter Times to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on earth and my Faith assures me I shall hereafter the Son of God revealed from Heaven clothed with Majesty sitting on a cloud leading the Heavenly Host raising the Dead by his powerfull voice summoning all the World to appear to Judgment gathering his Elect and finally destroying death and him that had the power of it the Devil condemning the wicked to Everlasting Destruction but acquitting honouring and rewarding his poor members with infinite and Eternal Blisse XV. Of Dying in a Forreign Country and of Dying Young. Considerations proper to Reconcile the mind to both I May not live to the end of this year God in his Providence having called me abroad I may never see my Native Country more Let me still remember o my Soul that wherever I am I am travelling towards the Grave and passing to another world that I may live in all Places as a Pilgrim and Stranger here on Earth with Affections suited to my condition becoming one who is travelling in a Strange Land. Let me bear the Inconveniencies I may meet with in this world as Strangers in their Travells are wont to doe Let me not repine at the ill accommodations of an Inne where I am to lodge but a night or two but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home when my Pilgrimage is ended and my Journey over One of my dearest holy Friends Mr. Thomas Bent who dyed at Geneva May 10. 1683. and Fellow Travellers whose memory will be ever precious with those who knew him quickly arrived to his Journeys end and is entred into Rest betimes Which of his Companions shall next follow we know not or how soon Lord make me apprehend the nearness of my change in every place and if I am prepared for dying no matter where it be There is no one Country farther from the Presence of God then another The whole world may be considered as one Great House and the several Kingdoms and Countries of it but as different Apartments in the same house and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death then they who Travell abroad The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same in some measure Blessed be my God I have hitherto found it so And may I not rejoyce in God in a desart in a Wilderness tho all the World should forsake me tho all the world should be against me Should I have no other Friend or Helper is not God an infinite God Enough and without his favor and Presence what can all this world do for me If I am sick and in danger of Death among my Relations and Friends if the comforts of the Allmighty do not refresh and delight my soul they cannot and if I want not these in my last agonies no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last If the word and promise of God be my Foundation an holy Hope my anchor Christ my Pilot and Heaven my Country I shall not fail of being landed there at last Suffer me not to forsake thee o Heavenly Father while I live and do not thou forsake me in my last Hour and let it come when and where thou wilt If my Blessed Saviour will receive my departing soul at death I am not sollicitous in what Country or part of the Earth it be And that I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this world let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more privileged against the stroke of Death then another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the Blessed Recompence then to tarry longer
violation of his law and can it be inconsistent with them to inflict his threatned wrath Shall we suppose God to uphold his dominion and government by a Falshood to keep the world in awe by the menaces of such Punishments as shall no where never be executed Is it unlikely that God should exercise so much severity and is it not as improbable that his repeated word Oath should prove fals Is it not a righteous thing with God as the Governor of the World thus to punish the obstinate Despisers of his Grace who slighted his Authority disobeyed his Law affronted his Soveraignty derided his Power denied his Truth contradicted his Holiness and joyn'd issue with the Devill to pull him from his throne who abused his Patience and Long suffering and scorned all his threatnings who thrust away their own Happiness and would not take warning who burst all his bands a sunder and broke thro all obstructions and would not be stopt in their course of vanity and folly or so much as consider their danger who rejected his calls to Repentance and refused his mercy when it was offered and prefer'd a Lust before his favor and the pleasures and profits of this world before the Heavenly Glory and notwithstanding all the methods of his Grace and the checks of his Providence and of their own Conscience they would goe on they would Dye Let me o my soul adore the Soveraign Justice of God in all his Judgments and tremble at the threatnings of that Eternal Wrath which so few consider or believe till 't is too late Let the foresight and the fear of such an intolerable endless Punishment be a means to save me from it let me herein read the Evill of sin and learn to abhorr and avoid it Let me pitty and warn and counsel and pray for those of my Relations and Acquaintance who live in sin and run the hazard of this Eternal Ruine Let me not envy the foolish Mirth and momentany Prosperity of the wicked whose present Joy must ere long expire and an Everlasting Destruction succeed in its room Job 20. c. 4.5 How short is the Joy of the Hypocrite and the Triumph of the wicked is but for a moment Let me fear and dread every thing that leads to this dismal issue and improve every thing that may help me to escape it And by consequence let me less value all the Good and Evill of this present Life judge of all things by this light be patient under Temporal Calamities and thank God that it is not Hell and thank him more that present sufferings do help to save me from Eternal ones Did I believingly consider an Everlasting Hell Qut non expergiscitur ad hac Tonitrua jam non dormit sed mortuus est S. Augustin I should not think much of any thing that is required to prevent it the severest exercises of Religion the strictest Temperance the nicâ—st Chastity the largest Charity the greatest selfdenial all the Hardships of Repentance and mortification and continuance therein to the death tho for many years more then I am like to live would be reckon'd Easy as well as Just if set in the balance against the Eternal Mischiefs of the Damned What will not men do suffer to prevent a Temporal Death They will endure a painfull course of Physick tear out their very bowells by purges and vomits and are content to be cut and scarified and to suffer any thing almost to save their lives but how little will they do to be saved from the wrath to come One would think they should have no Rest or Peace or be able to live a quiet hour till they had made some Provision against the hazard of this Eternal Destruction and look upon all men as their Friends or Enemies according to the help or hindrance they received from them in reference to it But the direct Contrary is every where apparent Men are careless and secure jovial and merry in the way that leads to Hell and esteem and love and choose that Company that will help to bring them to this place of torment Yea such is their stupidity and strange Perversness that they will not suffer to be told of their danger If you tell them that by such a course or such an Action they will lose so much money or their lives will be in in danger they reckon it an obligation will take it kindly and return you thanks But when they are told by such Courses and Actions they will lose their souls the favor of God the hopes of Heaven and must perish for ever this they will not receive they despise the message and scorn and hate the Messenger are displeased and angry at such Faithfulness O Bless the Lord o my Soul for any good hope thro Grace of escaping this Intolerable and Endless Misery And let all that is within me bless his holy Name And let me heartily compassionate the delusion of those multitudes of deceived perishing Souls whose Eyes are blinded by the God of this world who will not believe it till they are convinc't by the Light of that Fire which shall never be extinguisht Yea when I read or hear of ten or twenty thousand men slaine in a War whither of Infidels or Christians let me think of it with other apprehensions then formerly I was wont to doe Considering that many it may be the most of these shall never have any Comfort or Mercy more fearing least the same sword or Bullet that gave them their mortal wound hath fixt them under God's Everlasting Wrath and that by dying they are undone for ever In very many other cases the Faith of this Article would rectifie my opinions and direct my Actions if seriously considered and improved This would make me think of Death under another Notion then 't is commonly considered For without the consideration of Hell annexed to it it is not so very formidable but that Heathen have been able to despise it The most contrary Sects among them on different grounds have been able to do it but consider Death as a passage to Eternal misery as the Gate of Hell as the End of all Comfort to a wicked Man and the Beginning of an Endless Calamity and nothing can be imagined more dreadfull to a Guilty unholy Soul. Some of my Acquaintance it may be who dyed this last year are now among those Hopeless Despairing Wretches who expect the final Judgment of God to consummate their insupportable Misery If they were permitted to come and tell us what they suffer and what they know what a terrible consuming Fire God is what Vanity Lust and Folly brought them to this place of Torment what diligence they would advise us to while in a state of Hope to prevent the like if we have any love and kindness for our selves any bowells of Compassion to our own Souls what a change do we think it would work upon us But if we will not hear Moses
the Blessedness of an Endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the trouble they were at the care they used the difficulties they met with the sufferings they indured to conflict with the world and the flesh to resist temptation to watch over their Hearts and words and ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithfull to him c. They find to their unspeakable comfort and Everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not diligent and humble and patient and circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and opportunities of doing and receiving good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the Blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more then the most active zealous Christian upon earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavors by such thoughts as these inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and fervor that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may lay up a good Foundation 1 Tim. 6. c. 19. against the Time to come and so lay hold of Eternal Life But alas how much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy meditation how little skill and experience have I in it how tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or advantage have I by contemplaing his Highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retaine the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this world be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist'em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintaine such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious contemplation of divine mysteries in fervent Prayer and other solemn duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in partilar when he brought me to the very suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightfull Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be Here this is no other then the gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart flye off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth againe sunk down from the bosome of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a dunghill 'T was not on my own wings o Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that H. Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me pant and groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible desire and joy unconceivably mixt together with sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the world to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming zeal of the stony ground the rapturous Joy of an hypocrite from the power of Imagination and an heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural self love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a fals Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his apointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the soul Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less then we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the lustre of the. Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtaine so near a view of his Glory and feel such sweet communications of his Grace how much more of this consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim state the gifts and graces and comforts of the H. Spirit are so refreshing O what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Hearts after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him face to face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping soul O what shall I know and see and how shall I rejoyce when the vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and J. Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last Great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the ful Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious day by holy meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a cordiall what will be the whole vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the stuff and lumber of this world when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou o my Soul a Kings Son an Heir of Heaven an expectant of such Great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hugg the vaine Appearances of Earthly Good Hope to be like
slip have I not made it more my business to seem Religious then really to be so how much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the grace of God into wantonness In stead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am Asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebell and a Traitor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justifi'd if Thou lay Judgment to the line and equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted againe Bring me to the Bloud of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowleg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned o Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy son or thy servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physitian of Souls from thy Pitty alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy mercifull hand doe not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devill and my Lusts and without thy Succor can never hope to get free O Lord for give my Sin and heal my Soul deliver and save me for thy mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy mercy thou hast mercyfully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhorr my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy H. Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon then we can be to Repent T is thy Delight and Glory agreable to thy nature and declared Name as a God gracious and mercifull slow to Anger and of great Kindness fergiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy thro the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowfull Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer erre from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will o God and write thy Law upon my heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evill of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which thro the power of Temptation and the deceitfullness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider wither it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more then ordinary kindness of his Providence c. and impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your watchfullness the neglect of serious closet devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vaine Company venturing too far in lawfull or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuell incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinfull least by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return againe with seven worse then himself and so your latter end be worse then your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out againe when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quitt it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therfore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfullness and every morning implore divine succors against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amaleck will prevail againe assoon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strengh and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gaine by your loss stand the faster by your
strength from above My senses are so deceitfull my Passions so ungovernable the Rule and Law I am to walk by so strict and spiritual and extensive Criminal Omissions may be so frequent and easily overlook't so many several and difficult Duties are to be performed and by every change of my Condition or of God's Providence so many new dangers and new duties may arise that I fear the issue of my firmest Resolutions So strict a watch must allways be kept such humility and Caution is every where to be practis'd such speedy Repentance required after every fall with thankfullness and contentment in every State under all Calamities be they never so many or never so pinching and perseverance herein absoluty necessary tho never so many stratagems be used to discourage me from proceding or to intice me to goe back or turn aside to some other Path that if God had not promised me his Continued presence and that his Grace shall be sufficient for me and that I shall not be Tempted above what I am able to bear I should utterly despaire of making good what I now resolve But besides these promises to encourage my resolved obedience he hath left upon record in his word many glorious Examples of his assisting and rewarding the courage and resolution of his servants to continue faithfull as in the case of Joseph Daniel and his Three Friends c. If Christ stand by and strengthen me I know I shall be able to do all things I shall not then be flattered or frighted out of the way of my duty no wind that can blow shall then turn me to another point nothing shall then be able to prevail for my consent to a willfull and deliberate forsaking of God no Argument no Temptation tho Privacy Opportunity Impunity from men with rewards of wordly Gaine and Honour should all concurr to enforce a Temptation But by that heavenly mind I shall be preserv'd Humble Temperate Chast patient Thankfull self-denying crucifyed to the World and hold fast my Integrity till I dye still perfecting Holiness in the fear of God growing in Grace and in the Knowledg of my Lord and Saviour J. Christ waxing stronger from day to day be seldomer surprized offend less and repent more quickly and watch more narrowly afterwards till at last I receive the Crown Fix therfore I beseech thee most Gracious God! my unfeigned Resolutions of cleaving to thee with full purpose of Heart and show thy strength in my weakness by inabling me to doe what I now resolve To that end teach me to watch over my Heart to keep it with all diligence to be more conversant with my own Thoughts examining the motions that arise in my Heart whence they come and whither they goe and what they tend to that I may suppress the beginnings of Sin. Let me live no longer as a stranger to my self but by self-reflexion dwell more at home reckoning my principal Work to be within doors to keep my own vineyard Teach me to watch over my senses to guard the door of my Lips to govern my Passions to be wary of my Company to be circumspect in every step of my dayly walk to call my self frequently to a reckoning to cast up my accounts at the foot of every page by every days review of my Actions to live allways as in God's presence and be awed every where by the thought of his Holy Eye to shun the occasions and appearanees of Evil c. And because no place no Condition no Imployment is exempted from Temptations let me fortifie my self every morning against all Assaults for that day by Serious Prayer as Holy David was wont to do My voice saith he shalt thou hear in the morning O Lord in the morning will I direct my Prayer unto thee and will look up Psalm 5. v. 3.4 Let the law of God be my dayly and delightfull study that I may be able presently to bring my words and Actions to the Touchstone and know how to manage the sword of the Spirit on all occasions against the fiery Darts of the Devil that knowing the rule I may not be doubtfull or at a losse when ever I am Tempted I may not make a stand to parley but immediately summon all my forces to resist and reject the snare being assur'd from God that the Continuance of this warfare shall end in a most Glorious Victory He will shortly tread down Satan under our feet Thanks be to God thro Jesus Christ my Lord. XXVIII The Import and Obligation of our Baptismal Covenant The renewal of it by a solemn Dedication of our selves to God the Father Son and H. Spirit exemplifi'd and recommended ALl this O my soul which I have now resolu'd on is no more then what I am obliged to by my vow in Baptism to renounce the Devil and his works the Flesh and the Lusts therof the World and conformity to it that I may Love and Serve the Lord agreable to the undoubted Right which God hath in me by Creation Redemption and his innumerable other Benefits But The outward washing of Baptism and a visible profession of obedience will not save me without the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. 1 Pet. cap. 3. v. 21. May I not by the consideration of my Baptismal Covenant suppose God speaking to my Conscience to this effect Will you take me for your whole Portion and Felicity and my Law for the constant Rule of your obedience and fight against the world the flesh and the Devil to your lives end will you believe in Jesus Christ and receive him as a Prince and Saviour and adhere to the faith and obedience of the Gospel how hazardous and difficult soever the profession and practice of it may be Will you receive the B. Spirit as your Teacher Sanctifier and Comforter and cherish all his Motions to inlighten purifie confirm comfort and assist you 'T is my hearty consent to these Terms and resolved compliance with them which Baptism obligeth to and this is the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. I have often renewed this Covenant on several occasions but did I ever duely consider the tenor and obligation of it How have I lyed unto the God of Truth dealt deceitfully whath Him and been False and Fickle treacherous and unfaithfull to what I promised O let me now againe repeat it and give up my self once more to be the Lords more unfeignedly more firmly then ever I have hitherto done that the bonds of God upon me may be strengthned and my soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lords O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affaire of my whole Life by thine aid and grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breath upon my soul most H. Spirit the Power of the Highest that there may be no Hypocrisy or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and
me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and H. Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better then Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most mercifull God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightfull Lord acknowledging thee as my Allmighty Wise and Bountifull Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yeild my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Hand maid Tho other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Bloud I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfie for my sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy mercifull Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of life and glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy yoke upon me for it is Easy and thy Burden which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Crosse and follow thee whither so ever thou shalt lead me thro the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labor grudge at no suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. Os hed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easy for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Bloud O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his merit satisfaction and Righteousness to Justifie my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and all sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purifie my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the bloud of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the H. Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Belivers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O Blessed Spirit be thou my witness that tho I have violated the Law of God and defac't his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospell yet by thine aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self hence forward to be the Lords in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once againe dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those whic I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy will making it my business to be fruitfull in good works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his apointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day that I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I againe ratifie and confirm with out any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God. Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the H. Spirit XXIX Prastical and Consolatory Reflexions on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God. I Have this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God Deut. 6. c. 17.18 to walk in his ways therby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my House and All that I can
Pardon A wake O my Soul and utter a song of Praise to Him who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and erowneth thee loving-kindness and tender mercies Hath he made thee pertaker of his own renewed Image and likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a Relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physitian thy Sun and thy shield and thine exceeding great Reward Ps 103. v. 2. and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been mercifull to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins hath he gathered me with his arm and carried me in his bosome hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the H. Angels the Curse being removed and the hand writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the breach made up the mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious pardon thro the Sacrifice of my B. Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his incomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank Thee most Holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerfull and dangerous Temptations that by preventing mercy or Restraining Grace Esa 43. v. 14. thou hast kept me from many Scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a warning and a Caution to me an argument to humility and a motive to watchfullness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing usefull to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefullness of any of thy Servants wherin as a member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any support and comfort to me or Any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy name sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succor relief and victory with respect to the snares and buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation and practise to question the Truth of the H. Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of men by Evil Company Intemperance secret wickedness c. I bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wanderings and by infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited Favor that thou mayst heal my Back slidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Soveraign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Bloud cleanseth from all Sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing vertue awakening me to make holy vows and calling upon me by thy word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I Bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace when by the terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the apprehensions of thy deserved wrath I was ready to despair That tho thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy salvation and chase away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the finisher of my Faith and therfore tho thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy Lovingindness thou hast not taken from me or suffer'd thy Faithfullness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God making me to hear thy voce which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better then wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and My God. And to have any Communion with thee since in publick or private Duties For all these innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the taste and earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter O how great his his Goodness that he hath laid up for Those that fear Him And now Lord what wait I for my Hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant what thee I will magnifie the Lord and my Spirit shall rejoyee in God my Saviour Return unto thy rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with me While (a) Psal 104.33 I live I will praise Thee and sing praises to my God while I have a being O come and behold the works of the Lord what he hath done for my Soul the Lord liveth (b) Psal 18.46 Blessed be my Rock and let the God of my Salvation be exalted Let my Heart be glad and my Glory rejoyce for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God. Thanks be to God who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus Sing unto the Lord O ye his Saints and give thanks at the Remembrance of his Holiness (c) Ps 30. I cryed unto thee and thou hast healed and sav'd me I will give thanks to Thee for ever (d) Psal 119.62 I will show forth thy Lovingkindness in the morning and thy Faithfullness every Night For the Lord is Good his mercy is Everlasting and his Truth endures throout all Generations O enter into his Gates with Thanksgiving and his Courts with Praise be thankfull unto him and bless his name Bless the Lord all ye his works in all places of his Dominion Bless the Lord O my Soul. Let me add for a Conclusion that the particular Deliverances Supports and Consolations which at any time God hath given in cases of great Exigence or in answer to importunate Prayer ought never to be forgotten Many experienc't Christians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them with the particular Circumstances that did recommend and enhanse the mercy wither Spiritual or Temporal as an encouragement to trust in God in future difficulties and have afterwards found the Comfort and Advantage of being able to have recourse to such Papers This practice I recommend as what hath been usefull and Consolatory to diverse Christians for many years afterward and to some others of their more intimate Friends to whom they might without vanity be imparted What experiences might be recorded of signal returns to Prayer and seasonable manifestations of the Truth and Goodness and wisdom of God if all the Instances therof were duely recollected and preserv'd And how sweet and pleasant would the work of Prayer and Praise then be with what rejoycing and delight should we set about it live in it if the constraining Goodness Love of God and a Thankfull sense of his unspeakable mercies did bring us to him and indite and animate every word what support and comfort and probable hopes at least of the special Love of God might we derive from the various passages of his Compassion and kindness And hereby we may be able more heartily to give him thanks for Pardon Sanctification and Adoption which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear It may likewise be advisable to examine and record the workings of your own Spirit under such Dispensations What Thoughts you then had of God what acts of Faith Love Thankfullness you did then manifest what Evidences of God's favor and what discovery of your own Sincerity you have had at such Times when and how and by what means you were cured of your uncomfortable unbelief and raised from your despondency what Promises you had recourse to for relief what Considerations were most helpfull to you what Frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer before and after what Resolutions and Engagements you made to God to love and trust and praise and serve him and give up all to his dispose for the future and what consequent obligation may be infer'd from thence to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying This God is our God for ever and ever and He will be Our Guide unto Death THE END
cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart by greater measures of a lively Faith. That my desires may be strong and urgent and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth be some way correspondent to the important Article Let me live only for Eternity hope for nothing but Eternity design and intend nothing as my chief end but Eternity and seek and mind nothing in comparaison with Eternity Did we believe it how would every thing in this world be look't upon as eligible or fit to be refused as it is like to be an help or an hindrance with reference to Eternity we should then indeavor to do nothing unbecomming such an Expectation Considering this world as our passage and the invisible future world as our abiding Country where we are to dwell forever what ever we meet with here wither sweet or bitter easy or troublesome pleasing or ungratefull we should not much matter but as it relates to hereafter And were I certaine I should have no longer time of Trial in order to this Eternal State then this one year which is now begun if a Messenger from God should convincingly assure of it what would I not doe to prepare for Death and secure the Intrests of Eternity with what remorse and deep Repentance should I reflect on the Follies of my past Life with what importunate cries should I beg Forgiveness how patiently should I bear Calamity for so short a time how little should I value the favors or frowns of men how circumspect to improve every Season of doing and receiving good how carefull to avoid Temptation and how resolute in resisting it Did I verily believe I had no longer time to live on Earth then this one year at most how insipid would be the offer of carnall mirth vaine pastime sensual diversions idle company c. how should I value every hour every inch of my little Time under the apprehension that Eternity is at hand O my soul shall I make no provision against the possibility of such a case is not my change as certaine as if it were this year as if it were to morrow tho I am not certaine it is so near nor certaine but it may be Let me then seek first the Kingdom of God and his Rightcousness let me fix it well and make it clear that I have secured my great Concern and am ready for a sudden summons XIV How a Good man may improve and encourage himself under the supposition of dying this Year even in the most uneasy and undesireable circumstances I May dye this year then all my cares and fears if I am Rich all my sorrows and calamities as to this world if I am Poor will die too I may dye this year then I shall have no more Enemies no more sickness and which is infinitely better I shall sin no more I must shortly dye it may be this year but there is no other way to come to a Blessed Life but by dying and my Saviour hath dyed for me and he that believs in him shall never see death he lives who was once dead yea he lives for ever more and hath promised that I shall be with him to behold his Glory He hath the Keys of Death and Hell He is the Resurrection and the Life he hath removed thes thing of Death and I need not fear a conquered Enemy If I dye this year I must quit the company of all my dearest Friends on earth but I shall goe to better Company above and if they are the friends of Christ we shall shortly meet againe and love one another in a better manner then now and never more be parted I may dye this year my Friends and Enemies may dye to Let me injoy the one as mortal dying persons that must ere long leave me or I them and not fear the other who may so soon perish and quickly be uncapable of doing me or others mischief I may dye this year let me not then think much of Temporal sufferings of any Evils which may so soon be over Oh what would condemned sinners in the other world give to be able to believe and say so of their sufferings I may dye this year and can I wonder that I am sometimes Sick and in paine and my Body out of order Am I not mortal and dwell in an house of clay which must shortly moulder into dust and is it any thing strange that such a crasy Building doth sometimes shake and need repair and threaten a dissolution 'T is a greater wonder I am any time well That such a Body compounded of so many little parts and so easily disordered by innumerable accidents should be in health is hardly less to be admired then that an Instrument of a thousand strings should be kept in Tune I thank thee o Heavenly Father for the many advantages of sickness to weaken the power of sin to humble my Pride and cure my worldliness and sensuality to reduce me from wandering to empty me of self conceit to awaken the consideration of Death and Judgment to impress the Thoughts of the vanity of this world and the Eternity of the next to assist me to mortifie the flesh to rule my Passions to exercise Patience and quicken Prayer and try my faith and love and excite my diligence to redeem Time and convince me of the worth and uncertainty of it and thereby promote my preparations for my final change The Great Apostle by dying dayly had as many victories over this world as he lived Days Oh that I might so far walk by the same Rule as every day to think of providing for my last and in health to do that which in sickness I shal wish I had done I may dye this year it may be by some tedious painful Sickness some troublesome and loathsome Disease But God hath promised his Grace shall be sufficient he will make my bed in my sickness and put under his Everlasting arms for my support and not suffer me to be tempted above what I am able he will increas my Patience and carry me thro the pangs of Death and the dark valley and when Heart and flesh fail be the strength of my Heart and my Portion for Ever I may dye this year what if it should be by an hand of violence if for Righteousness sake in defence of the Truth for a good Cause and a good Conscience and my peace be made with God and am accused for doing well or innocent of the Evill which is laid to my charge there is ground enough for encouragement and support Thousands of my Betters have met with the like whose names are precious renowned Innumerable Christians have dyed by the sentence of a Judge with more chearfullness and Joy then others or it may be then they themselvs would have done by the sentence of the Phisitian The Torture of many diseases is unspeakably more formidable as to the meer paine and for all the Rest the Righteous Lord