out of all doubt that he was now as other Mortalls save for some maymes which he was resolved to keep from being seen by the help of his hair he began to be somewhat comforted but that very sort of sorrow which in others occasion drought causes in him hunger a sharp appetite to meat he therefore began to consider what was become of his Master Don Zara Del Fogo and to curse himself for opposing him as an equall whom he ought to have adored as a Soveraign having therefore resolved to finde him out and if it were possible to reconcile himself he resorted to the Host of the house where his Master resided and very demurely demanded whether Don Zara del Fogo his Lord and Master were at home or abroad in the Camp or the Court answer was made that he was just now conveyed to his bed being much wounded by a strange Knight who seemed no other then he that had fought with him Soto therefore enquiring what manner of man he was and what Arms he wore knew assuredly that it was the Knight of the Pudding Don Pantalone he therefore resolutely went up to his Masters Chamber but found the door fast locked for the Champion having had his wounds bound up and being laid in a soft bed had betaken himself to rest Soto knocked twice or thrice very soberly but receiving no answer he multiplied his stroaks so long till Zara being awakened demanded who was there Soto retorted Your Servant and Secretary SOTO at which the * * Zara takes Soto for a Ghost Sea •elthams Resolvs the third Century pag. 100000. CHAMPION imagining by this time he had been laid in Earth became much amazed and in a distracted tone cryed out I beseech thee thou Spirit of wronged Soto return to thy rest and vex not him with thy clamours who shall shortly visit thee in the other World Soto replyed My Lord we are both more happy then you conceit I am alive and Master of the same faculties of flesh that you are At this the Champion scrambled out of his bed and opening the door Soto supported him to his former station where being laid he enquired of Soto how and by what meanes he escaped who related to him every particular both of his death and Revivall I shall the more cheerefully welcome Death said the Champion that thou art alive he then began to discourse what had hapned lately betwixt him and the Knight of the Pudding and in the close of all commanded meat to be brought and was confirmed that Soto was no Ghost by his eating By this time it grew late Cynthia being mounted in the highest of her five and twenty Mansions the Champion therefore having imbraced Soto permitted him to depart and slank down into his bed the second time CHAP. VI The Champion recovered of his wounds but inwardly vexed at Simplicia's scorn is comforted and restored by Soto's excellent Oratory He and Soto forsake their Lodging to avoid an after reckoning Having left No-land they arrive in a continent where the Champion finds the winged Hog promised him by Lamia He and Soto mounting their bristled Beast are carryed through the Ayre meeting with many strange Adventures OUr Champions exterior wounds are not so wide but they may easily admit of cure were not his interiours mortally vexed with the vigorous pangs of Love the scorn of his Mistris Simplicia stuck Needles at his heart his sick soule is surrounded with dolour each thought is a thrust and every cogitation a Carbonado * * Zara's dolefull Complaint O Love Love said he thou least of bulk but greatest in strength of all the Powers immortall what has Don Zara done unto thy Deity that thou art so partiall in thy dispensations emptying thy Quiver at his brest and not ayming so much as one Arrow at her whose heart is more hard then Scythian Ice or the scales of Dragons Did not Gylo wash my head with warm Urine and Simplicia slight my Addresses as I had rather been a Lowt then a Lord a Coxcomb then a Champion and a Knave Rampant then a Knight Errant were my strength equall to my will I would break thy Bow and Bolts about thy eares and write thy Elegie with a Quill pluckt from thy own wing With these and the like fascinorous fancies he wearied himself almost all that night but Phoebus flinging about his Rayes to illuminate the world Soto resorted unto him using all possible perswasion to asswage his grief but alas to no purpose for the Fistula of Love had seized upon his very fundamentals so that though he grew every day more and more healthy being now able to eat and drink devoutly and traverse his Chamber as nimbly as a Berkshire Squirrell yet within he was more sickly then a Subburb Letcher or a drawl'd Prostitute fitting her self for Fluxation which Soto perceiving thought it his duty to take him to task and to endeavour to drive this Devill of Paphos out of him How now my Lord said he will you cast away that life which was given you to redeem others from death and destruction * * The Author disclaims this Invective as none of his but Soto's for a Fis-gig a flurt a sickle fantastick fallacious foolish Female What do we get by these Gim-cracks Satiation of our Iusts What is this fruition we so much covet but a kind of fulsome Recreation that flags our Crests and makes us look worse then stale Drunkards or losing Gamesters that have sat up all night to undo themselvs Be your self my Lord the Son of Mars and not the slave of Venus these whim-crown'd tumors un-man us all and are at best but coveted calamities This Satyricall Oration so much prevailed with the Champion that he was now quite changed into another man his heart which before was as soft as Curds is now totally petrifide and more obdurate then steel or Hangmen so that he who some minutes since was Loves creature is now more then his Conquerour tis true he shed abundance of tears sighing and sobbing as was pittifull to see but these showers were but the preludiums to Thunder-cracks My Arms quoth he O my Arms my Sword Shield and Mace but above all my Belt the sad vicissitudes of two dayes have laid a foundation of misery for many Ages bitten by a Bear baffled by Gylo reproached by Simplicia and denuded by Don Pantalone what horrour has Fortune yet to inflict My Lord said Soto Fortune was ever a foe to noble minds letting others pass as not worthy her notice the tallest Trees and highest Towers are sometimes levell'd when sheds and shrubs remain untoucht Engineers are sometimes blown up with their own Mines when Mouf-trap-Makers dye meerly with sickness or age Dukes and Marquesses fall by the Bullet or the Ax when Dunghill-Rakers and Maulsters out-live themselves Did you ever know a Gnat perish of the Pox Goats and Monkeys destroy themselves with Doing that then which you look upon as the Indignation of
beneath the Lady Gylos chamber Window and receives a very luckie return of his Love JOy and wonder like two opposite winds disturbing the already distracted Simile Ocean strove for Supremacy in our Champion on the one side the Ladies worthiness on the other side her coyness palsied her brain so that he remained for a time as one * * Meaning transmografide or memorphosed into a Mandrake trans-elemented Such is thy power O Love such is thy might When thou surprizest any Mortall Wight Whether Orlando Smith or Oswald Clinker Whether the Great Turk or the brass-fac'd Tinker Thou mouldest him anew in every part And for a pint of Mirth reckon'st a Quart Of Sorrow making a most grievous puther A Pox upon thee and thy Sea-born Mother Soto a long time observed his Lord with a serious look but perceiving that he cared not to put a period to this excruciating extasie he burst out into a hearty laughter saying * * Sentenc• Cupids Arrows I perceive can pierce the strongest Armour and supple the most sternest soul * * Sentence upon sentenc inserted by the Author meerly for the solace of the sage as those are the most killing griefs that dare not speak so no doubt those are the most ineffable joyes that cannot gain utterance Rejoyce my Lord and sing Paeans to the pretty little God who has thus courteously awarded you You are the wittiest and best of Servitors answered ZARA O I could dye upon her * * Meaning some pri 〈…〉 mark Spot and venture life or otherwise do more for her dear sake then those famous Palladines who were Kinsmen to mad Rowland Hercules Labours were but á Bakers dozen mine shall puzzle Arithmetick truly to compute them She is indeed quoth Soto the Metaphysicks of her Sex the very Rule of Algebra you are the Jove that must press this Laeda the Endymion that are beloved by this Cynthia and the Anchyses that must enjoy this Venus I know it quoth Zara for didst thou not observe how her colour went and came all the time that I was courting her and though I say it that should not I never in all my life had the happiness of more fluency on so short a warning Hermes himself quoth Soto could not have handled his business better but Sir take it from me * * An Axiome borrowed of Cato He that has a woman by the waste has a wet E•le by the tayle And they hate delayes as much as they abominate debility What wouldst thou have me to do quoth the Don shal we presently visit her not so soon Sir quoth Soto you know that providence has provided us a place of rest you may well waste this night in contemplation of her Excellencies and to morrow ere the fleet hours shall have harnessed Phoebus fiery Horses we will bid her Bonjour at her Balconey by which time if the Muses favour me we will be provided with an amorous Canticle Rivall to best of * * A most excellent Italian Ballad-maker Petrarchs Sidney or Ronfard onely the Alcean Lyre will be wanting but that our Voyces shall supply * * See Tom Dales Aphorisme Tome 9 sect 12. Apho. 19. for the silent note which Cupid strikes is far sweeter then the sound of any Instrument celebrating her beauty and inciting to the Paphian pleasure Thou art my better Genius quoth Zara and shalt share my Fortunes this was excellently well thought on and cannot but exceedingly take Approach thou silent Night mother of Rapes And dreary ruine friend to Owles and Apes Fly fly ye winged hours with eager motion And bring the chearfull day from forth the Ocean Father of life and light when thou appearest I'le take my rise resorting to my dearest I have often heard quoth Soto that Love can inspire the most insipid now I have proofe my Lord that you are a very Lover witness this polite Poeticall passion but the Night-Ra•en Sir has chanted her Vespers and Madam Nox has already hung her curtain over the Hemisphere let us convey our selvs to our Concave quoth Zara and summon Somnus to a peacefull parley I have said Soto furnished our Pavillion with a bed of the best Moss and the trunk of an Alder tree for a pillow Thou art in all things excellent quoth Zara but now for the contrivance of our Ode Let me alone for that quoth Soto Ile kick the Mount to Attoms swill up * * 〈◊〉 John 〈…〉 lands ••solvs 〈…〉 m 2• Hellicon ravish the Nine and break Apollo's Fiddle about his pate but Ile Rant in most magnificent Miter Ile warrant the Lady is your own if which we have cause to guess she be one of Minerva's Maids of Honour This said they departed to their hollowed Mansion and taking their Cowch on a sudden became speechless when Fortune the professed enemy to worth appointed them a very dangerous Adventure for the flye Sergeant Morpheus had no sooner arrested their sences but the proper owner of the place a Bear as black as blackness it self as fell as an Hyrcanian Tyger entered the Cave as was her wonted guize with a resolve to rest her self there that night but finding uncouth Inmates she gave so Ioud a roar that the Grove ecchoed the Thunder of her throat This yelling Allarum soon beat up the Champions Quarters and he awaked in much distraction giving Soto though accidentally so sound 〈…〉 on the brest with his * * Whether his left or right is not certainly known foot that he cryed out as he had bin broke on the wheel by this time the Bear had bitten our Champion quite thorow the calfe of his left leg which made him roar more audibly then this beast of prey entering the Cave Soto mean time like a hardy Squire strenuously assaulted this wild creature with his Javelin but found his hide too tough for penetration and such was the mockery of Fate that the Champion had not opportunity to unsheath his Sword so that his face was scratched and scari•i'd as his leg was bruiz'd and wounded no quarter from head to foot was free was it not time then for the Champion and Soto to lay about them for this hairy Monster fought not to gain honour but to allay hunger Ah Zara Zara had I my wish some * * The pious Author petifully bemoans the bad condition of Zara God should turn thee into a Sheep or Goat nay rather then sail into an Ass to escape this vile visitation then thus be taken like a tame Beast in thy own Den Yet at last despight of Destiny he forced out Kit-za-Cow and with one single thrust pierc't through the skin ribs and riff of this sawcie Savage cleaving her heart who giving a deep groan becam exanimate This Conquest being so happily atchieved the Champion with Soto's aide disburthened the Cave of this rough creature whose length by London measure was no less then six yards and whose head the Cpampion immediatly severed from the unwieldy Trunk
affords shall call thee Lord So thou wilt deign but love for love t'afford ADONIS 〈◊〉 bri•led Monster canst thou hope My love I'l first imbrace a Rope And on some fatall Yeugh resign• My life foul Monster filthy Swine I will procure a Gay of Warwick Though I explore from hence to Barwick If thou desist not that shall wear Thy head upon his charmed Spear BOAR. Nay then tis time to cast of al remors For when intreatles fall to practice force Is Orthodox Adonis by the Gods And their celestiall ever-blest abodes I must enjoy thee Here the Boar endeavouring to express love to Adonis wounds his tender skin with his Tusk which kills him ADONIS O I'm slain This bawdy Boar hath wrought my bane BOAR. Out alas what have I done He is dead as sure as Gun Faln like some Poplar in his pride Planted by a Rivers side Wounded by a Pelean Ax In Heaven now a Paralax O O ye infernall Juries Rhamnusia ye Snake-hair'd Furies The Boar is in an extream Agony Ye Harpies Hags and Gorgons fell * * Horror of conscience Methinks I'm hurrying now to hell Witness ye Powers above that I Was not murtherous willingly I would have hug'd him but mistook And therfore sure may have my book Where shall I bath this vexed body Tormented to a Hoddy-Doddy Within some gloomy Cave I'le pine And never drink nor never dine Till I look like salt and piss And Hermes summon me to Dis. VENUS with the Graces VENUS Here he was wont to go and here Tellus being proud to bear So rich a burthen O my heart When with Adonis I did part Just such a sigh I fetcht in sooth•la I hope Jove will protect the youth-la from scathe sad thoughts do clog my soul Which like to Neptunes waves do roul And ride on one anothers backs My nether parts do melt like Wax or Butter in a Basting-ladle What do I see do my eyes dazzle Or is Adonis drown'd in gore O Fortune thou most damned whore What hast thou done lift heaven hier Good Gaffer Atlas that my fire Of rage may have ful vent no stone is The Goddess falls upon the dead body of Adonis More cold then my once dear Adonis His Nerve that wont to heave stand Stiff as a stake at my command Now droops and hangs the head his wounds Do yawn like chapt parched grounds What Monster more then fel with fang Of ruine would destroy so young So fair so smooth so deft a •ad Of whom such comfort Venus had O I am wild with rage thy bulk Dear boy in a rich Urn shall skulk With rich perfums whit-bred crums Rich Odours and Sabean Gums Take up the precious load my Graces But ware he piss not in your faces For so some say d•ad people do This fatall Wilderness shall rue Thy ruine Adon Tempests shall Tear up the Oaks the Elms the small The great the fruitful and the barren With a Hors-pox and a Murren Lead on weep till ye are blind the while We seat Adonis on his Funerall Pile Venus and the Graces carrying the dead Adonis being gone off Temp•sts and storms destroy the Wood and nothing appears but a thick Stage and a thin-jaw'd Poet who thus Epiloguizes EPILOGUE Thus have you seen Adonis dreary Fate The Boars ill luck Venus wretched state Masqus are no common things specially such As this that leans upon no staff or crutch The Port stands within •iting his nayls Somtimes his hope somtimes his fear prevails Troth he's a prety man and comes as neer Tom Nabs whose Microcosmos has no Peer As any he alive If this don't like ye 〈◊〉 A Mocke Masque in•ended for the Press Next time Cupido coms Madam Psyche This Masque as how could it chuse found a generall applause not so much as one crittick in so great a crowd but by this time half the night was spent so that Prince Paraclet Emansor Maulkina and Dowcabell betook themselvs to their rest whose example the Courtiers of both sexes followed onely the Knights Zara excepted resorting to the place place where they had supped some hours before resolve to salute Somnus with a bowl of Bacchus his blood drinking so deep that ye would have thought every man there Master of more * * A kind of shining pibble found in the Desa••• of Dev•n shire which whosoever shall butter and bury in his belly in a morning fasting shall be sure to shnn drunkenness that day Amethists then one so that the place where they were seemed the very Bower where the blyth Delphick God tipples Sack and keeps his Bacchanalias but while they were quassing Zara was sleeping but he little imagins what plots are even now at this ominous hour of night contriving against him for the Knights Errant being now in their own conceits discreeter then Socrates or Solon and valianter then Achilles or Alexander the Great began every man to pride himself in his own praise and to enumerate the many Combats and perillous Atchievments they had bin guilty of this man having vanquished the Knight of the Moon and Seven Stars who had nine fingers upon each hand was ful six yards in height and was thought able to rout a Royall Army this having taken in that Cittadell maugre the opposition of a thousand men a third having rescued the Persian Sophy when surrounded with twelve millions of Turks who were leading him captive to Constantinople these vapours dissipated they began to discourse every man of his Horse Armour and Shield c. each maintaining his own for the most Authentick This discourse put 'um in mind of our Champion Don Zara whom every one censured as he li•ted onely the Knight of the PUDDING for so was Don Pantalone the Knight of Malta called because of the Jack-Pudding in his Shield was most vehement who articled against him as a man both insipid and incapacious as to Military Atchievments this was the Knight whose Horse Armour Shield c. was made Zara's by miracle being by an unparalell'd providence drag'd to shoar by Fishermen and by them conferr'd on our Champion as the first Chapter of this Book has inform'd for Don Pantalone being bound for No-land was shipwrackt on those very Seas where our Champion was cufft over-board and was the onely mortall except a Spartane Spaniell that escaped the danges as it seems by the agility of his arms and now this most dangerous and degenerate Knight envying the boon of Heaven would recover those Emoluments by force which no doubt were worthily torn from him by the fraud of Fate openly owning the Horse Armour and Shield and execrably protesting that he would be Master of them within forty hours or leave his dead body as a witnesse of his Devoyre this Resolve was highly praised by some and as much cryed down by others but Pantalone was too proud to hearken to dehortments and therefore betwixt drunk and sober he wrote a Challenge desiring the