is for the most part obtains it Thus men become slaves to the distaff for quietness sake otherwise there is such quarrels and brawleries that his house and home that should be his Couch of Ease his Bed of Rest his peaceable Haven or haven of Peace is for the most part his couch of thorns his bed of cares his hell of torments or tormenting hell and his whole Family are like a tempestuous Sea where Passions hurl into Factions and rise in waves of discontent But when men have an absolute power over their wives they force them into quiet obedience and where men have many Wives Concubines and Slaves the women are humbled into a submission each woman striving which should be most serviceable and who can get most love and favour and as for Bastards they are as much the Fathers children as those that are got in Wedlock Censure But it is likely that Concubines and slaves will be false and father their children on those that never begot them Sensuality Why so may Wives and 't is most probable they do so but as other Nations do allow many Wives Concubines and slaves so they give men power and rule to govern and restrain them and the men are so wise in other Nations as they suffer no other men but themselves to come neer them hardly to look at the outside of their Seraglio's as that part of the house they are lodged in Censure Thou hast spoke so well and hast made so learned a Speech for many Wives Concubines and slaves as I am converted and will if thou wilt travel into such Kingdomes as allow such numbers and varieties that I may be naturalliz'd to their liberties Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive What is the reason Monsieur Satyrical you do not marry Satyrical The reason Monsieur Inquisitive is that I cannot find a wife fit for me Inquisitive Why there are women of all Ages Births Humours Statures Shapes Complexions Features Behaviours and Wits But what think you of marrying the Lady Nobilissimo Satyrical She is a Lady that out-reaches my Ambition Inquisitive What think you of the Lady Bellissimo Satyrical She is a Lady for Admiration and not for use Inquisitive What think you of marrying the Lady Piety Satyrical She is a Lady to be pray'd unto as a Saint not to be imbraced as wife Inquisitive What think you of the Lady Modesty Satyrical She is a Lady that will not only quench amorous love but the free matrimonial love Inquisitive What do you think of the Lady Sage Satyrical She is a Lady to rule as a Husband and not to be ruled as a Wife Inquisitive What think you of the Lady Politick Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for Counsel than for Mariage Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Ceremony Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for a Princely Throne than the Mariage-bed Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Poetical Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for Contemplation than Fruition Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Humility Satyrical She is a Lady sooner won than enjoy'd Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Sprightly Satyrical She is a Lady that will disquiet my rest being fitter for dancing than sleeping Inquisitive What say to the Lady Prodigal Satyrical She is a Lady I might feast with but could not thrive with Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Vanity Satyrical She is a Lady too various and extravagant for my humour Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Victoria Satyrical She is a Lady I had rather hear of than be inslaved by Inquisitive VVhat say you to the Lady Innocent Youth Satyrical She is a Lady that may please with imbracing but not with conversing she is fitter for love than for company for Cupid than for Pallas for sport than for counsel Inquisitive VVhat say you to the Lady Wanton Satyrical She is fitter for an hour than for an Age Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Poverty Satyrical She is fitter for my Charity than my Family Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Ill-favoured Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for a Nunnery than a Nursery for Beads than for Children Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Weakly Satyrical She is fitter for Death than for Life for Heaven than the World Inquisitive By your Answers I perceive you will not Marry Satyrical Have I not reason when I can finde such Answers from the Sex Inquisitive But the Gods have commanded Mariage Satyrical But Saints doe choose a single life and in case of Mariage I will sooner follow the Example of the Saints than the commands of the Gods Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition Superbe Bon' Esprit Pleasure Portrait Faction Grave Temperance and Mother Matron GRave Temperance Ladies what think you of good Husbands Portrait I think well of good Husbands Bon' Esprit But it is a question whether good Husbands will think well of us Faction I think good Husbands may be in our thoughts but not actually in the World Ambition I am of your opinion they may be mention'd in our words but not found in our lives Pleasure Faith we may hear of good husbands and read of good wives but they are but Romances Portrait You say right for we may as soon finde an Heroick Lover and see all his impossible Actions out of a Romance Book as a good Husbands but as for Wives I will not declare my Opinion Bon' Esprit Nor I but were there such men that would make good husbands it were as difficult to get them as for a Romantick Lover to get his Mistris out of an Inchanted Castle Pleasure For my part I had rather die a Maid than take the pains to get a good Husband Superbe I wonder our Sex should desire to Marry for when we are unmaried we are sued and sought to and not only Mistris of our selves but our Suters But when we are maried we are so far from being Mistrisses as we become slaves Pleasure The truth is there is no Act shews us or rather proves us to be so much fools as we are as in marrying for what greater folly can there be than to put our selves to that condition which will force us to sue to power when before that voluntary slavery we were in a condition to use power and make men sue to us Ambition We must confess when we well consider it is very strange since every Creature naturally desires and strives for preheminency as to be superiour and not inferiour for all Creatures indeavour to command and are unwilling to obey for it is not only Man but even the Beasts of the Field the Birds of the Air and the Fishes in the Sea and not only Beasts Birds and Fish but the Elements those creatures inhabite in strive for superiority only Women who seem to have the meanest souls of all the Creatures Nature hath made for women are so far from indeavouring to get power as they voluntarily
be like beasts rather than to make them like as Gods which men should strive to be Procurer By your favour Sir there can be no Law that can keep men from being horned beasts Sage Whose fault is that Madam not mens which make the Laws but womens that break the Laws Procurer It is mens fault for giving women such liberty And let me tell you Sir women are such subtil creatures as they strive first to get an honourable esteem from their Friends and Husbands and a belief of their Chastity and when they have secured mens jealousies they make their Husbands Cuckolds which all their Neighbours perceive although the Husband is blind and muffl'd with affection Sage Madam your Sex deserve a better Character than you give of them for by your description there are few chaste Procurer Every woman knows the humours of her own Sex better than men know the humours of one another wherefore let me advise you Sir Henry Sage to watch my Lady your Wife for many to my knowledge seek for to corrupt her Sage Madam although she is one of your Sex yet she is of an Angelical nature and not corruptible Procurer Sir I am your humble servant and I wish your Angel may not fall from Virtue into Vice Sage I have no jealous doubt Madam Procurer I wonder at it for wise men use to doubt He leads her forth Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Sir Edward Courtly and the Lady Jealousie COurtly Wife I have given you warning twice beware of the third time that you receive no Masculine Visiters for by Heaven if you do I will hang you up in my garters Iealousie Do if you dare I will have those that shall cut your throat Courtly You could not fright me with your Champions were I a coward for they are Carpet-Knights and dare not fight Iealousie They dare more than you dare Sir Edward Courtly takes off a garter or some other string or ribband about his cloaths and makes her believe he will strangle her Courtly By Heaven I 'll give an Example to all men that love their Honour and hate to be Cuckolds He takes the string and offers to put it about her neck She is afraid Iealousie O Husband Husband spare me spare me Courtly Wife you may make me a Fool but not unman me you may flatter me but not frighten me you may make me commit an indiscretion but never to be Effeminate Iealousie O mercy mercy Husband do but spare me this time and I will be the best wife in the World Courtly Well I will pardon you this time and know VVife that though I am willing to part with my Breeches and Doublet to give them you yet I will never part with my Sword and my Spurs which is my Courage and my Management And I will give you all liberty in Vanity but not in Dishonesty you shall keep the Purse but not manage the Horse Also let me tell you that it is not enough to be honest but you must give no suspicion to the contrary Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Procurer and the Lady VVanton LAdy Procurer Come Come Madam are you ready for Monsieur Amorous hath provided a great and costly Banquet for you Wanton I am ready I did only stay for you to go along with me Procurer But will not your Husband watch whither we go Wanton O no for he believes I am going to the Lady Breeders Up-sitting Procurer That 's well be is so credulous to believe so easily whatsoever you would have him believe and if he be but as obstinate of belief of that you would not have him believe you are happy for let me tell you that all men hath not that spiritual gift of Faith but have strange opinions and full of doubts and suspitions VVanton Nay I thank Iove I have as good a Husband as any woman whatsoever hath Procurer Prethee Madam leave some thanks for your loving servant which loves and adores you more than he doth Heaven and worships you as his only Goddess VVanton He shall not pray in vain nor shall I be as an Idoll made of Stone or Brass Procurer Come your wayes then Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Monsieur Disguise alone MOnsieur Disguise O man O man inconstant man false and perjurious man flattering dissembling man and the worst of Mankind is Sir Francis Inconstant He hath not only forsaken me but forgot me drowning the memory of me in his superfluous Cups O Pluto from whence all wickedness proceeds make his fair Bride as false to him as he hath prov'd to me and fill his mind with furious Jealousie Exit Scene 5. Enter the Lady Hypocondria as at her Husband Sir VVilliam Lovewells Closet-door she knocks at the door LOvewel. Who 's there Hypocon. 'T is I Husband She enters Lovewel I may bid you welcome VVife for you are a stranger here Hypocon. Truly Husband I should not have disturb'd you but that I was afraid you were not well for I came two or three times to the door and heard no noise which made me afraid you might be in a swoun or dead Lovewel I thank you for your loving fear and care of me Hypocon. You may think this is an over-fond humour in me but I have heard of many that have been found dead in their Beds and in their Closets when as their Friends never mistrusted it but thought they were asleep or at study which if they had been found or known in time they might have been recover'd Lovewell You say true Wife Hypocondria But now I know you are well I will not disturb you any longer Lovewell I will bear your kindness company Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his Wife SAge VVife thou art false Chastity 'T is strange to hear you say so when but yesterday you made me such protestations of your Faith believing I was Virtuous Chaste and full of Truth which I did think Time had not power to alter your belief and such Vows and Protestations of your Affections to me as if the fire of Love within your heart did burn so clear and flame so high as nought could quench it out but Death's cold damps yet not so much but still a heat within the ashes would remain Sage I confess VVife my doubts of Love did make me to try at least to say so to you Chastity True Love never makes doubts and though you can dissemble with me I cannot dissemble with you could the Gods command me as they cannot things unjust Sage I perceive you are angry VVife Chastity No truly Husband I am rather griev'd than angry to think my honest truth mistrusted for Doubts are unjust to great Affections true Love and good Intentions and Examinations are scandalous to a strict chaste life and makes it seem as criminal but could the VVorld lay falshood to your charge and should condemn you yet my Affections would set you free and rather tax my self for want of Merit to deserve your
Marriage Nuptials but are you ready Wife for our second Marriage Lady Perfection I am now ready to go into the Bed of Earth Enter two Fathers which take hold of the Lord Melancholy and pull him gently from the Grate Religious Father Hold and stain not this sacred places with murderers blood Lady is this the Devotion profess wickedly to murther your self Lady Perfection Father know I accounted self Death no wickedness and I will venture on my own belief Religious Father But the Church hath power to absolve you now if you desire personly to meet Lady Perfection Yes such power as the Laws had to dissolve our Marriage but the Churches absolving can no more acquit my Conscience from my Devoted Vow than the Laws could from my Marriage Vow Religious Father Pray give us leave to plead Lady Perfection Take it Religious Father You have vowed Chastity and a retir'd Incloystered life Lady Perfection I have so Religious Father Why then marry this Lord again and let him make the same Vow and enter into the same Cloyster and into the same Religious Order of Chastity and being Man and Wife you are but as one person so that if you be constant and true to your selves you keep the Vow of Chastity for what is more Chast than lawfull Marriage and Virtuous Man and Wife Lady Perfection Husband are you willing to make the Vow of Chastity and to live an Incloystered life Lord Melancholy I am all will to that Vow and life for so I shall enjoy thy Soul and Body and good Father re-marry us and then I will thank you for Life and Wife Religious Father First you shall make your Vow then take a Religious Habit and then be re-married and go along with us and we will order you fixt for to enter into this Religious Order of Chastity and if you be both happy in life as sure you will thank your Nurse who hearing your cruell and as I may say irreligious design informed us and placing us within a Loby we heard you and saw you though you knew not that we did so for you had barr'd the outward Door but being within we were ready to come forth and hinder you as we did Lord Melancholy Well Father since you have hindered our Deaths pray make me sit to enjoy Life my Heaven of Life or Life of Heaven Religious Father Come then Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan Mistriss Odd-Humour weeps NAn Why do you weep Mistriss Mistriss Odd-Humour Because my Father will have me marry Nan Many young Maids weep because they cannot get Husbands but few weep to enjoy one Mistriss Odd-Humour I do not cry because I shall have a Husband but because I shall have a Foot to my Husband Nan There are few wise Husbands and fewer wise Men Mistriss Odd-Humour What difference is betwixt a wise Husband and a wise Man Nan Why a wise Husband is to rule and govern his Wife well but a wise Man is to rule and govern himself well and there is more that can tell how to rule and govern others than themselves like as there may be good Kings and not good Men and good Men and not good Kings or as there may be good Teachers as Preachers and not good practisers so this Gentleman you are to marry may be a wise Husband although not a wise Man Mistriss Odd-Humour But he will be both a foolish Husband and a foolish Man Nan If he prove a foolish Husband you have no reason to cry for then you will have the more Liberty Mistriss Odd-Humour The more liberty to be a Fool you mean Nan Indeed liberty to women makes them rather foolish than wise for women know not how to use liberty discreetly for when they have liberty they run beyond the bounds of discretion Mistriss Odd-Humour Faith if I marry this same Gentleman that my Father sayes I shall I shall run beyond the bounds of Matrimony Nan That is to run into your Neighbours Bed Exeunt Scene 37. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Do you hear of the new Religious Order 2 Gent. What new Religious Order 1 Gent. Why the Order of Chastity in marriage 2 Gent. That 's a new Order indeed never heard of before at least not practised but this Order if it continue will make marriage as Religious in life as the marriage of Saints 1 Gent. Why the marriage of men and women is a type of the marriage of Saints 2 Gent. But the type often commits Adultery and for my part I would not be one of that Religious Order 1 Gent. No for on my Conscience I believe you would disorder the Order 2 Gent. But who hath brought up this foolish new Order 1 Gent. The Lord Melancholy and the Lady Perfection who are re-married and have both vowed Chastity in marriage and an Incloystered life and have taken a Religious Habit 2 Gent. The more unwise they that will bind themselves so strictly 1 Gent. So honestly 2 Gent. I hate honesty that way or that way of honesty 1 Gent. You hate that way of honesty because you love the wayes of Adultery Exeunt Scene 38. Enter the Arch-Prince and the Lord Dorato as at the Grate the Curtain is drawn and there appears the Lord Melancholy and the Lady Perfection his Wife as two Religious Devotes both in Religious Habits like to the Normitans they bow like the Religious with their heads downwards and bodyes bent forward ARch-Prince I come not to complain nor reprove your Chast wife for denying my Sute nor am I come only to give you joy of your new marriage but your new Religious Order of Chastity in marriage which Order I believe that few besides your self will enter into Lord Melancholy Then few will be so happy Sir as we are Arch-Prince Indeed happiness lives more in Cloysters than in Courts or Cities or private families but my Lord Dorato your Father here will want the comfort of your Company which should be a Partner with him in the Rule and Government of his Family and Fortunes Lord Melancholy I have left him a Grand-Son Sir to be a comfort to him in my absence and I wish he may prove as obedient to him as I have done Lord Dorato Faith Son the first time of your marriage was without my knowledge or consent but howsoever now I wish you joy and for your sake I will never cross Matrimonial Love whilst I live and I hope God will bless you both so as that you may beget a Religious Generation Arch-Prince All the Children they beget and bring up must be of the Religious Orders Lord Dorato If they will follow their Parents purities and precepts they will Arch-Prince There may proceed from these two a great Generation which may spread all over the World and be famous for Piety and Acts of Devotion Lord Melancholy I hope your Highnesses words are Prophecies of what is to come Arch-Prince I wish they prove so farewell all happiness dwell
as you Monsieur Compagnion It is to be observed that alwayes old Girls match themselves with young Boyes Monsieur la Gravity None but Fools will do so Monsieur Compagnion VVhy did you or any man else ever know a wise old woman or a chast young woman in their lives for the one dotes with Age the other is corrupted with Flattery which is a Bawd to self-conceit Monsieur la Gravity Grant it be so yet it is better to marry an old doting Fool than a wanton young Fille Monsieur Compagnion For my part I think now it is the best way to marry none since Madam Iantil is gone but to live like the Lacedemonians all in Common Monsieur la Gravity I am of another opinion wherefore if you will go along with me to the old VVidow Madam Passionate and help to Countenance my Sute I shall take it as an act of Friendship Monsieur Comerade Come we will be thy Pillars to support thee Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Nell Careless and Doll Pacify DOll Pacify What doth thy Lady resolve to live an Anchoret Nell Careless I think so Doll Pacify How doth she pass away her time in her solitary Self Nell Careless Why as soon as she rises she goeth to my Lords Tomb and sayes her Prayers then she returns and eats some little Breakfast as a Crust of Bread and a Draught of Water then she goeth to her Gallery and walks and Contemplates all the Forenoon then about twelve a Clock at Noon she goeth to the Tomb again and sayes more Prayers then returns and eats a small Dinner of some Spoon-meats and most of the Afternoon she sits by the Tomb and reads or walks in the Cloyster and views the Pictures of my Lord that are placed upon the Walls then in the Evening she sayes her Evening Prayers at the Tomb and eats some light Supper and then prayes at the Tomb before she goeth to Bed and at Midnight she rises and takes a white waxen Torch lighted in her hand and goeth to the Tomb to pray and then returns to Bed Doll Pacify Faith she prayes often enough in the day she shall not need to pray at Midnight but why doth she rise just at Midnight Nell Careless I know not unless she is of that opinion which some have been of which is that the Souls or Spirits of the dead rise at that hour out of their Graves and Tombs to visit the face of the Earth and perhaps my Lady watches or hopes to converse by that means with my Lords Ghost for since she cannot converse with him living she desires to converse with him dead or otherwise she would not spend most of her time at this Tomb as she doth but how doth thy Lady spend her time now Doll Pacify Faith as a Lady should do with nourishing her Body with good hearty meats and drink And though my Lady doth not pray at Midnight yet she converses with Spirits at that time of Night Nell Careless What Spirits Doll Pacify Marry Spirits distilled from Wine and other Cordials which she drinks when she wakes which is at Midnight but do you watch fast and pray as thy Lady doth Nell Careless No truly for I feed with the rest of my Ladies Servants which live within the House without the Cloyster and they eat and drink more liberally Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur Compagnion and Monsieur Comerade as to Madam Passionates House enter Madam Passionates Gentleman Usher MOnsieur la Gravity Sir we come to kiss the hands of the Lady Passionate if you please to inform your Lady of us Gentleman Usher I shall if 't please you to enter into another Room Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Doll Pacify as to her Lady Madam Passionate in her Chamber where her Cabinets were DOll Pacify Madam there are three Gentlemen come to visit you desiring you would give them leave to kiss your hands Madam Passionate Shut down the lid of the Seller of Strong-waters and rid away the loose things that lie about that my Chamber may appear in some order The Maid sets things in order whilst the old Lady is trimming her self in the Looking-glass Madam Passionate Bring in those Gentlemen The Maid goes out then enters with the Gentlemen the two young men speak to each other the time that Monsieur la Gravity is saluting Monsieur Compagnion I marry Sir here is a comfortable smell indeed Monsieur Comerade Faith the smell of these Spirits overcomes my Spirits for I am ready to swound Then they go and salute the Lady Madam Passionate Pray Gentlemen sit down They sit Truly I have had so great a wind in my Stomack as it hath troubled me very much Compagnion speaks softly to Comerade Monsieur Compagnion VVhich to express the better she rasps at every word to make a full stop Monsieur la Gravity Perchance Madam you have eaten some meat that disgests not well Speaks aside Monsieur Compagnion A Toad Lady Passionate No truly I cannot gess what should cause it unless it be an old pipin and that is accounted a great restorative She fetches a great sigh But I believe it is the drugs of my Sorrow which stick in my Stomack for I have grieved mightily for my dead Husband rest his Soul he was a good Man and as kind a Husband as ever woman had Monsieur la Gravity But the destinies Madam are not to be controuled Death seizes on all be it early or late wherefore every one is to make their life as happy as they can since life is so short and in order to that you should chuse a new Companion to live withall wherefore you must marry again Lady Passionate 'T is true the Destinies are not to be controuled as you say wherefore if my Destiny be to marry I shall marry or else I shall dye a Widow Monsieur Compagnion aside softly as in the ear of Monsieur Comerade Monsieur Compagnion She will lay the fault of her second Marriage on Destiny as many the like foolish actions are laid to Destinies charge which she was never guilty of Monsieur la Gravity If I should gess at your destiny I should judge you will marry again by the quickness of your Eyes which are fair and lovely She simpers Lady Passionate O Sir you flatter me Monsieur Compagnion He be sworn that he doth Aside Lady Passionate But my Eyes were good as I have been told both by my Glass and Friends when I was young but now my face is in the Autumal Softly to Comerade aside Monsieur Compagnion Nay faith it is in the midst of Winter Lady Passionate But now you talk of Eyes that young Gentlemans Eyes points to Compagnion do so resemble my Husbands as I can scarce look off from them they have a good Aspect Monsieur Compagnion I am glad they have an influence upon your Ladiship She speaks as softly to her self La. Passion By my faith wittily answered I dare say he is a notable youth Sir for resemblance of
Here on this Figure Cast a Glance But so as if it were by Chance Your eyes not fixt they must not stay Since this like Shadowes to the Day It only represent's for Still Her Beuty 's found beyond the Skill Of the best Paynter to Imbrace Those louely Lines within her fure View her Soul's Picture Iudgment will Then read those Lines which Shee hath writt By Phancy's Pencill drawne alone Which Peece but Shee Can justify owne PLAYES Written by the Thrice NOBLE ILLUSTRIOUS AND Excellent Princess THE LADY MARCHIONESS OF NEWCASTLE LONDON Printed by A. Warren for Iohn Martyn Iames Allestry and Tho. Dicas at the Bell in Saint Pauls Church Yard 1662 THE DEDICATION TO those that do delight in Scenes and wit I dedicate my Book for those I writ Next to my own Delight for I did take Much pleasure and delight these Playes to make For all the time my Playes a making were My brain the Stage my thoughts were acting there THE EPISTLE DEDICATORY MY LORD MY resolution was that when I had done writing to have dedicated all my works in gross to your Lordship and I did verily believe that this would have been my last work but I find it will not unless I dye before I have writ my other intended piece And as for this Book of Playes I believe I should never have writ them nor have had the Capacity nor Ingenuity to have writ Playes had not you read to me some Playes which your Lordship had writ and lye by for a good time to be Acted wherein your Wit did Create a desire in my Mind to write Playes also although my Playes are very unlike those you have writ for your Lordships Playes have as it were a natural life and a quick spirit in them whereas mine are like dull dead statues which is the reason I send them forth to be printed rather than keep them concealed in hopes to have them first Acted and this advantage I have that is I am out of the fear of having them hissed off from the Stage for they are not like to come thereon but were they such as might deserve applause yet if Envy did make a faction against them they would have had a publick Condemnation and though I am not such a Coward as to be affraid of the hissing Serpents or stinged Tongues of Envy yet it would have made me a little Melancholy to have my harmless and innocent Playes go weeping from the Stage and whipt by malicious and hard-hearted censurers but the truth is I am careless for so I have your applause I desire no more for your Lordships approvement is a sufficient satisfaction to me My Lord Your Lordships honest Wife and faithfull Servant M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Must ask pardon for that I said I should not trouble you with more of my works than this Book of Playes but since I have considered with my self there is one work more which is very fit for me to do although I shall not be able to do it so well as the subject will deserve being the Life of my Noble Lord but that work will require some time in the gathering together some several passages for although I mean not to write of all the particulars of these times yet for as much as is concerning that subject I shall write of it will be requirable but it is a work that will move so slowly as perchance I shall not live to finish it but howsoever I will imploy my time about it and it will be a satisfaction to my life that I indeavour it M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS THe reason why I put out my Playes in print before they are Acted is first that I know not when they will be Acted by reason they are in English and England doth not permit I will not say of Wit yet not of Playes and if they should yet by reason all those that have been bred and brought up to Act are dead or dispersed and it would be an Act of some time not only to breed and teach some Youths to Act but it will require some time to prove whether they be good Actors or no for if they are not bred to it whilst they be young they will never be good Actors when they are grown up to be men for although some one by chance may have naturally a facility to Action and a Volubility of Speech and a good memory to learn and get the Parts by heart or wrote yet it is very unlikely or indeed impossible to get a whole Company of good Actors without being taught and brought up thereto the other reason is that most of my Playes would seem tedious upon the Stage by reason they are somewhat long although most are divided into first and second Parts for having much variety in them I could not possibly make them shorter and being long it might tire the Spectators who are forced or bound by the rules of Civility to sit out a Play if they be not sick for to go away before a Play is ended is a kind of an affront both to the Poet and the Players yet I believe none of my Playes are so long as Ben Johnson's Fox or Alchymist which in truth are somewhat too long but for the Readers the length of the Playes can be no trouble nor inconveniency because they may read as short or as long a time as they please without any disrespect to the Writer but some of my Playes are short enough but the printing of my Playes spoils them for ever to be Acted for what men are acquainted with is despised at lest neglected for the newness of Playes most commonly takes the Spectators more than the Wit Scenes or Plot so that my Playes would seem lame or tired in action and dull to hearing on the Stage for which reason I shall never desire they should be Acted but if they delight or please the Readers I shall have as much satisfaction as if I had the hands of applause from the Spectators M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS ALthough I expect my Playes will be found fault with by reason I have not drawn the several persons presented in a Circular line or to a Trianglar point making all the Actors to meet at the latter end upon the Stage in a flock together likewise that I have not made my Comedies of one dayes actions or passages yet I have adventured to publish them to the World But to plead in my Playes behalf first I do not perceive any reason why that the several persons presented should be all of an acquaintance or that there is a necessity to have them of one Fraternity or to have a relation to each other or linck'd in alliance as one Family when as Playes are to present the general Follies Vanities Vices Humours Dispositions Passions Affections Fashions Customs Manners and practices of the whole World of Mankind as in several persons also particular Follies Vanities Vices Humours Passions
a Non-pluss they would be glad to be quit of each other yet are ashamed to part so soon and are weary to stay with each other long when a Play entertaines them with Love and requires not their answers nor forceth their braines nor pumps their wits for a Play doth rather fill them than empty them 2. Gentleman Faith most Playes doth rather fill the spectators with wind than with substance with noise than with newes 1. Gentleman This Play that I would have you go to is a new Play 2. Gentleman But is there newes in the Play that is is there new wit fancyes or new Scenes and not taken our of old storyes or old Playes newly translated 1. Gentleman I know not that but this Play was writ by a Lady who on my Conscience hath neither Language nor Learning but what is native and naturall 2. Gentleman A woman write a Play Out upon it out upon it for it cannot be good besides you say she is a Lady which is the likelyer to make the Play worse a woman and a Lady to write a Play fye fye 3. Gentleman Why may not a Lady write a good Play 2. Gentleman No for a womans wit is too weak and too conceived to write a Play 1. Gentleman But if a woman hath wit or can write a good Play what will you say then 2. Gentleman Why I will say no body will believe it for if it be good they will think she did not write it or at least say she did not besides the very being a woman condemnes it were it never so excellent and care for men will not allow women to have wit or we men to have reason for if we allow them wit we shall lose our prehemency 1. Gentleman If you will not goe Tom farewell for I will go set this Play let it be good or bad 2. Gentleman Nay stay I will go with thee for I am contented to cast away so much time for the sake of the sex Although I have no saith of the Authoresses wit 3. Gentleman Many a reprobate hath been converted and brought to repentance by hearing a good Sermon and who knowes but that you may be converted from your erroneous opinion by seeing this Play and brought to confesse that a Lady may have wit Loves Adventures Play The Lord Fatherly The Lord Singularity His Sonne Sir Serious Dumbe Sir Timothy Complement Sir Humphry Bolde Sir Roger Exception Sir Peaceable Studious Foster Trusty The Lady Orphant The Lady Ignorant wife to Sir Peaceable Studious The Lady Bashfull The Lady Wagtaile The Lady Amorous Mrs. Acquaintance Nurse Fondly Foster Trusties wife Lady Orphans Nurse Mrs. Reformers woman to the Lady Bashfull Two Chamber-Maydes Prologue NOble Spectators you are come to see A Play if good perchance may clapped be And yet our Authoresse sayes that she hath heard Some playes though good hath not been so preferr'd As to be mounted up on high raised praise And to be Crown'd with Garlands of fresh hayes But the contrary have been hissed off Out from our Stage with many a censuring scoff But afterwards there understanding cleer'd They gave the praise what they before had jeer'd The same she sayes may to her Play befall And your erroneous censures may recall But all such Playes as take not at first sight But afterwards the viewers takes delight It seemes there is more wit in such a Play Than can be understood in one whole day If for she is well content for her wits sake From ignorance repulses for to take For she had rather want those understanding braines Than that her Play should want wits flowing veynes ACT I. Scene 1. Enter the Lord Fatherly and the Lord Singularity his Son LOrd Singularity Pray Sir do not force me to marry a childe before you know whether she will prove vertuous or discreet when for the want of that knowledge you may indanger the honour of your Line and Posterity with Cuckoldry and Bastardry Lord Fatherly Son you must leave that to fortune Lord Singularity A wise man Sir is to be the maker or spoiler of his own fortune Lord Fatherly Let me tell you Son the wisest man that is or ever was may be deceived in the choosing a wife for a woman is more obscure than nature her self therefore you must trust to chance for marriage is a Lottery if you get a prize you may live quietly and happily Lord Singularity But if I light of a blank as a hundred to one nay a thousand to one but I shall which is on a Fool or a Whore her Follies or Adulteries instead of a praise will found out my disgrace Lord Fatherly Come Come she is Rich she is Rich Lord Singularity Why Sir guilded I Horns are most visible Lord Fatherly 'T is better Son to have a rich whore than a poor whore but I hope Heaven hath made her Chast and her Father being an honourable honest and wise man will breed her vertuously and I make no question but you will be happy with her Lord Singularity But Sir pray consider the inequality of our ages she being but a Child and I at mans Estate by that time she is ready for the marriage bed I shall be ready for the grave and youths sharp appetites will never rellish Age wherefore she will seek to please her pallat else where Lord Fatherly Let me tell you Son should you marry a woman that were as many years older than she is younger than you it were a greater hazard for first old women are more intemperate than young and being older than the husband they are apt to be jealouse and being jealouse they grow malitious and malice seeks revenge and revenge disgrace therefore she would Cuckold you meerly to disgrace you Lord Singularity On the other side those Women that are marryed young Cuckholds there Husbands fames dishonouring them by their ignorant follyes and Childish indiscretions as much as with Adultery And I should assoon choose to be a Cuckhold as to be thought to be one For my honour will suffer as much by the one as the other if not more Lord Fatherly Heaven blesse the Sonne from jealousy for thou art horrible afraid of being a Cuckold Lord Singularity Can you blame me Sir since to be a Cuckhold is to be despised scorned laught and pointed at as a Monster worse than nature ever made and all the Honour that my birth gave me and my education indued me my vertue gained me my industry got me fortune bestowed on me and fame inthron'd me for may not only be lost by my wifes Adultery but as I said by her indiscretion which makes me wonder how any man that hath a Noble Soul dares marry since all his honour lyes or lives in the light heels of his wife which every little passion is apt to kick away wherefore good Sir let me live a single life Lord Fatherly How Son would you have me consent to extinguish the light of my Name and to pull out the root
plead without speech let me beg your favour to accept of me for your servant and what I want in Language my industrious observance and diligent service shall supply I am a Gentleman my breeding hath been according to my birth and my Estate is sufficient to maintain me according to both As for your Estate I consider it not for were you so poor of fortunes goods as you had nothing to maintain you but what your merit might challenge out of every purse yet if you were mine I should esteem you richer than the whole World and I should love you as Saints love Heaven and adore you equal to a Dietie for I saw so much sweetness of nature nobleness of soul purity of thoughts and innocency of life thorough your Bashfull countenance as my soul is wedded thereunto and my mind so restless therefore that unless I may have hopes to injoy you for my Wife I shall dye Your distracted Servant SERIOUS DUMB Lady Bashfull Now Reformer what say you to this Letter Reformer I say it is a good honest hearty affectionate Letter and upon my life it is the Gentleman I commended so he that looked so seriously on you and your Ladyship may remember I said he viewed you as if he would have looked you thorough and you made answer that you wished he could that he might see you were not so simple as your behaviour made you appear and now your wish is absolved Lady Bashfull VVhat counsel will you give me in this cause Reformer VVhy write him a civil answer Lady Bashfull VVhy should I hold corespondence with any man either by Letter or any other way since I do not intend to marry Reformer Not marry Lady Bashfull No not marry Reformer VVhy so Lady Bashfull Because I am now Mistriss of my self and fortunes and have a free liberty and who that is free if they be wise will make themselves slaves subjecting themselves to anothers humour unless they were fools or mad and knew not how to chose the best and happiest life Reformer You will change this opinion and marry I dare swear Lady Bashfull Indeed I will not swear but I think I shall not for I love an easie peaceable and solitary life which none injoys but single persons for in marriage the life is disturbed with noise and company troublesome imployments vex'd with crosses and restless with cares Besides I could not indure to have Parteners to share of him whom my affections had set a price upon or my merit or beauty or wealth or vertue had bought Reformer So I perceive you would be jealouse if you were married Lady Bashfull Perchance I might have reason but to prevent all inconveniences and discontents I will live a single life Reformer Do what likes you best for I dare not perswade you any way for fear my advice should not prove to the best Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Affectionata and Foster Trusty FOster Trusty Now you are placed according to your desire what wil you command me to do Affectionata Dear Foster Father although I am loth to part from you yet by reason I shall suffer in my estate I must intreat you to return home for my Nurse your wife hath not skill to manage that fortune my Father left me for she knows not how to let Leases to set Lands to receive Rents to repair Ruines to disburst Charges and to order those affairs as they should be ordered which your knowledge industry and wisdom will dispose and order for my advantage Foster Trusty But how if you be discovered Affectionata Why if I should as I hope I shall not yet the Lord Singularity is so noble a person as he will neither use me uncivily not cruelly Foster Trusty All that I fear is if you should be discovered he should use you too civilly Affectionata That were to use me rudely which I am confident he will not do and I am confident that you do believe I will receive no more civillity if you call it so than what honour will allow and approve of Foster Trusty But jealousie will creep into the most confident breasts sometimes yet I dare trust you though I fear him Affectionata I hope there is no cause to fear him or doubt me wherefore dear Father let us go and settle our affairs here that you may return home to order those there Scene 19. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife She being undrest her mantle about her as being not well SIr P. Studious In truth wife it is a great misfortune you should be sick this Term-time when the Society is so much increast as it is become a little Common-wealth Lady Ignorance If there be so many they may the better spare me Sir P. Studious 'T is true they can spare your company but how can you want their companies Lady Ignorance You shall be my Intelligencer of their pastimes Sir P. Studious That I will wife but it will be but a dull recreation only to hear a bare relation Lady Ignorance As long as you partake of their present pleasures and pleasant actions what need you take care for me Sir P. Studious Yes but I must in Justice for since you have cured me of a studious Lethargie I ought to do my indeavour to divert your melancholly and there is no such remedy as the Society wherefore dear wife fling off this melancholly sickness or sick melancholly and go amongst them for surely your sickness is in your mind not in your body She cries Sir P. Studious What do you cry Wife who hath angered you Lady Ignorance Why you Sir P. Studious Who I anger'd you I why I would not anger a woman no not my Wife for the whole World If I could possible avoid it which I fear cannot be avoided for if I should please out of your Sex I should be sure to displease another But that is my comfort it is not my fault but dear Wife how have I offended you Lady Ignorance Why did you kiss my maid before my face Sir P. Studious Why did you perswade me Lady Ignorance Did I perswade you to kiss my maid Sir P. Studious No but you did perswade me to be one of the Society and there is kissing and I thought it was as well to kiss your maid before your face as a sociable Lady before your face Lady Ignorance And why do you make love to the Ladies since I suffer none to make love to me Sir P. Studious No for if you did I would fling you to death to be imbraced in his cold arms Besides those actions that are allowable and seemly as manly in men are condemned in women as immodest and unbecoming and dishonourable but talking to you I shall miss of the pleasant sports and therefore if you will go come the Coach is ready Lady Ignorance No I will not go with you Sir P. Studious Then I will go without you Lady Ignorance No pray Husband go no more thither Sir P.
Studious How not to go nor to go no more would you desire me from that which you perswaded me to Nay so much as I could never be quiet disturbing my harmless studies and happy mind crossing my pleasing thoughts with complaining words but I perceive you grow jealouse and now you are acquainted you have no more use of me but would be glad to quit my company that you may be more free abroad Lady Ignorance No Husband truely I will never go abroad but will inancor my self in my own house so you will stay at home and be as you were before for I see my own follies and am ashamed of my self that you should prove me such a fool Sir P. Studious Do you think me so wise and temperate a man as I can on a sudden quit vain pleasures and lawfull follies Lady Ignorance Yes or else you have studied to little purpose Sir P. Studious Well for this day I will stay at home and for the future time I will consider Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Servants of the Generals I. Servant This boy that came but the other day hath got more of my Lords affection than we that have served him this many years 2. Servant New-comers are alwaies more favoured than old waiters for Masters regards old Servants no more than the Imagerie in an old suit of Hanging which are grown threed-bare with time and out of fashion with change Besides new Servants are more industrious and diligent than old but when he hath been here a little while he will be as lazie as the rest and then he will be as we are I. Servant I perceive my Lord delights to hear him talk for he will listen very a tentively to him but when we offer to speak he bids us to be silent 2. Servant I wonder he should for when we speak it is with gravity and our discourse is sententious but his is meer squibs Enter Affectionata Affectionata Gentlemen my Lord would have one of you to come to him I. Servant Why I thought you could supply all our places for when you are with him he seems to have no use of us Affectionata It shall not be for want of will but ability if I do not serve him in every honest office I. Servant So you will make some of us knaves Affectionata I cannot make you knaves unless you be willing to be knaves your selves 2. Servant What do you call me knave Affectionata I do not call you so Ex. 2. Servant Well I will be revenged if I live Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman REformer Madam I have inquired what this Sir Serious Dumb is and 't is said he is one of the finest Gentlemen in this Kingdom and that his valour hath been proved in the wars and that he is one that is very active and dexterous in all manly exercises as riding fencing vaulting swimming and the like Also that he is full of inventions and a rare Poet and that he hath a great Estate only that he is dumb and hath been so this twelve years and upwards Lady Bashfull Reformer What makes you so industrious to inquire after him surely thou art in love within Reformer In my conscience I liked him very well when he was to see you Lady Bashfull The truth is he cannot weary you with words nor anger you in his discourse but pray do not inquire after him nor speak of him for people will think I have some designe of marriage Reformer I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata He strokes Affectionata's head LOrd Singularity Affectionata Thou art one of the diligent'st boys that had Affectionata How can I be otherwise Sir since you are the Governour of my soul that commands the Fort of my passion and the Castle of my imaginations which are the heart and the head Lord Singularity Do you love me so much Affectionata So well my Lord as you are the archetectour of my mind the foundation of my thoughts and the gates of my memories for your will is the form your happiness the level and your actions the treasurie Lord Singularity Thy wit delights me more than thy flattery perswades for I cannot believe a boy can love so much Besides you have not served me so long as to beget love Affectionata I have loved you from my infancy for as I suck'd life from my Nurses breast so did I Love from fames drawing your praises forth as I did milk which nourished my affections Lord Singularity I shall strive boy to require thy love Affectionata To requite is to return love for love Lord Singul. By Heaven I love thee as a Father loves a son Affectionata Then I am blest Exeunt Scene 23. Enter two Souldiers 1. SOuldier What is this boy that our General is so taken with 2. Souldier A poor Begger-boy 1. Souldier Can a poor Begger-boy merit his affections 2. Souldier He is a pretty boy and waites very diligently 1. Souldier So doth other boys as well as he but I believe he is a young Pimp and carries and conveys Love-letters 2. Souldier Like enough to for boys are strangely crafty in those imployments and so industrious as they will let no times nor opportunities slip them but they will find waies to deliver their Letters and messages Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page and Sir Serious Dumb who gives a Note to the Page to read PAge Sir I dare not direct you to my Lady as you desire me in this Note and if I should tell her here is a Gentleman that desired to visit her she would refuse your visit Dumb gives the young Page four or five pieces of Gold Page I will direct you to the room wherein my Lady is but I must not be seen nor confess I shewed you the way Page and Sir Serious Dumb Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Come Affectionata sit down and entertain me with thy sweet discourse which makes all other company troublesome and tedious to me thine only doth delight me Affectionata My Noble Lord I wish the plat-form of my brain were a Garden of wit and then perchance my tongue might present your Excellencies with a Posie of flowery Rhethorick but my poor brain is barren wanting Lord Singularity Thou hast an eloquent tongue and a gentle soul Affectionata My Noble Lord I have hardly learn'd my native words much less the eloquence of Language and as for the souls of all mankind they are like Common-wealths where the several vertues and good graces are the Citizens therein and the natural subjects thereof but vices and follies as the thievish Borderers and Neighbour-enemies which makes inrodes factions mutinies intrudes and usurps Authority and if the follies be more than the good graces and the vices too strong for the vertues the Monarchy of a good life falls to ruine also it is indangered by Civil-wars amongst the passions Lord Singularity What
but that malicious breath soon vanishes and leaves no stain behind it so I hope your jealousie will do the like it will vanish and leave no doubt behind it Perfection I hope you are not angry with me for telling you or for being my self troubled at what was reported Solid No for innocency is never concern'd it always lives in peace and quiet having a satisfaction in it self wherefore reports only siezes on the guilty arresting them with an angry turbulency Perfection But perchance you may be angry for my jealousie Solid No for jealousie expresses love as being affraid to lose what it desires to keep Perfection Then I hope you do not repent the love you have placed on me Solid Heaven may sooner repent of doing good than I repent my love and choyce Perfection Dear Mistress my mind is so full of joy since it is clear'd of suspition and assured of your love as my thoughts doth fly about my brain like birds in Sun-shine weather Ex. Scene 24. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamosel Doltche NObilissimo Sweet Lady will you give me leave to be your Servant Doltche I wish I were a Mistress worthy of your service Nobiliss. There is no man shall admire more your beauty and wit nor be more diligent to your youth nor shall honour your merits and love your vertue more than I Doltche Indeed I had rather be honoured for my merit than for my birth for my breeding than for my wealth and I had rather be beloved for my vertue than admired for my beauty and I had rather be commended for my silence than for my wit Nobilissimo It were pity you should bury your great wit in silence Doltche My wit is according to my years tender and young Nobilissimo Your wit Lady may entertain the silver haired Sages Doltche No surely for neither my years nor my wit are arrived to that degree as to make a good companion having had neither the experience of time nor practice of speech for I have been almost a mute hitherto and a stranger to the VVorld Nobilissimo The VVorld is wide and to travel in it is both dangerous and difficult wherefore you being young should take a guide to protect and direct you and there is no Guide nor Protector so honourable and safe as a Husband what think you of marriage Doltche Marriage and my thoughts live at that distance as they seldom meet Nobilissimo VVhy I hope you have not made a vow to live a single life Doltche No for the Laws of Morality and Divinity are chains which doth sufficiently restrain mankind and tyes him into a narrow compasse and though I will not break those chaining Laws to get lose and so become lawless yet I will not tye nature harder with vain opinions and unnecessary vows than she is tyed already Nobilissimo You shall need no Tutour for you cannot only instruct your self but teach others Doltche Alas my brain is like unplanted ground and my words like wild fruits or like unprofitable grain that yields no nourishing food to the understanding Wherefore if I should offer to speak my speech must be to ask questions not to give instructions Nobilissimo Certainly Lady nature did study the architectour of your form and drew from herself the purest extractions for your mind and your soul the essence or spirits of those extractions or rather you appear to me a miracle something above nature to be so young and beautifull and yet so vertuous witty and wise grac'd with such civil behaviour for many a grave beard would have wagg'd with talking lesse sense with more words Doltche Youth and age is subject to errors one for want of time to get experience the other through long time wherein they lose their memory Nobilissimo Pray let me get your affections and then I shall not lose my hopes of a vertuous Lady to my wife Ex. Scene 25. Enter Madamosel Caprisia and Monsieur Generosity GEnerosity Lady are you walking studiously alone may I not be thought rude if I should ask what your studies are Capris. I am studying how some studies for pain some pleasure some dangers some quarrels some to be wicked some to be learned some to be ignorant some to be foolish some to be famous but few to be wise Generosity Who studies to be wicked Capris. Thieves Murtherers Adulterers Lyers and Extortioners Generosity Who studies to be learned Capris. Linguists Generosity Who studies to be ignorant Capris. Divines Generosity Who studies quarrels Capris. Lawyers Generosity Who studies dangers Capris. Souldiers Generosity VVho studies to be fools Capris. Buffoones Generosity VVho studies fame Capris. Poets Generosity VVho studies pleasure Capris. Epicures Generosity VVho studies pain Capris. Epicures Generosity Do Epicures study both for pain and pleasure Capris. Yes for they that surfeit with pleasure must endure pain and Epicures studies the height of pleasure which no sooner injoyed but pain follows Generosity VVho studies to be wise Capris. They that study Temperance Prudence Fortitude and Justice Generosity And what study you Capris. I study how I may avoid the company of mankind also to be quit of your Lordships presence He alone She goeth out Generosity She is so handsome no humour can ill become her Ex. Scene 26. Enter Monsieur Profession and Monsieur Comorade Comorade Thom. Give me leave to rejoyce with thee for the resurrection of thy heart that was kill'd with thy Mistresses cruelty and buried in her constancy Profession VVell well make your self merry Comorade But prethee in what plight is thy heart I doubt it is lean weak and pale and in a puling condition lying in the Grave of thy Mistresses inconstancy Profession Faith I cannot tell the good Angel that brought into life can give a better account of it than I can Comorade VVhere shall I seek this good Angel amongst the effeminate or masculine Sex For I suppose it is an Angel that is of one Sex although I have heard Angels are of neither Sex but prethee of which shall I inquire Profession Of the divine Sex and the divinest of her Sex Comorade You may as well bid me inquire of that which is not to be found for every particular man that is a Servant to any particular of these angelical creatures will prefer his own Mistress to be the divinest and so the most absolutest Profession All men that sees my Mistresse and doth not adore her as the only She is damned in ignorance and condemned to perpetual blindnesse Comorade Say you so then I will not see her for fear I should be one of the damned and therefore I will give over that design as the search of her and go to a Tavern and drink the good health of thy heart and leave the inquiry after it and if you will go with me so Profession I cannot without the breach of gratitude deny thy kindnesse wherefore I will bear thee company Ex. Scene 27. Enter Doctor Freedom and Madamosel Doltche Madamosel Solid Madamosel Volante
by reason they put on their civilest demeanors gracefullest garbs modestest countenance and speaks their most choycest phrases or words when they meet strangers all which makes them appear to their advantage when after acquantaince they will seem but vulgar as when they are used to their ordinary garbs countenances and phrases and that their natures and dispositions were known they will appear to be no better than their Neighbours nay perchance not so good the like will Madamosel Doltche appear to you Matron I do suppose she looks more familiar on her acquaintance than strangers and it is likely she looks more grave and sober on strangers than on her known friends and familiars yet those several looks and countenances may be as pleasing and obliging the one as the other for though the one may be more kind the other may be more respectfull for every ones countenance and behaviour is to be ordered according to the several degrees or relations of several persons and to several persons and to several sexes or according to their condition state life and fortune and according to the times and occasions for women are or should be more free and confident to and in the company of women than men and men are more respectfull in their discourse and behaviour to women than to their own Sex and a merry countenance in a sad condition or state of life or fortunes would not be seemly mirth in the house of mourning would be inhumane or to dance or sing over the Graves of their Parents Children Husbands Wives or Friends would be unnatural or to be merry in the time of a general calamity as in time of VVars Plagues or Famine or Deluges or to be sad or froward in a general rejoycing but a sad countenance and a grave behaviour is as fitting and seems comely and handsome in a time of calamity as a merry countenance and a dancing behaviour in a time of rejoycing for tears becomes the face sometimes as well as smiles and blushing may appear and expresse a modest nature to strangers when to familiar acquaintantances blushing might be thought an accuser or witnesse of some crime yet bashfull eyes at all times becomes modest Virgins Volante I hate bashfull eyes for they are like to troubled waters thick and unsteady rouling from place to place without an assurance for modest Virgins may look upon the VVorld with a confident brow if they have no guilt to stain their cheeks with blushes and surely amongst well-bred persons there is none so rude injurious or uncivil to force the bloud to rise or stop the light in causing bashfull eyes but such as condemns a confident countenance in Virgins faces my eye of understanding will cast a despising glance on such ridiculous fools and the tongue of reason condemns them Ex. Scene 31. Enter Madam la Mere and Madamosel Caprisia her daughter MERE I wonder Daughter you should be so rudely uncivil to Monsieur Generosity to use him so unkindly as to entertain him with scornfull words and disrespectfull behaviour Capris. Why did he come to visit me Mere To offer his service and to professe his affection to your person and vertue Capris. I care not for his service or affection Mere But he is a person of an honourable Title and can make you a great Lady Capris. Give me leave to tell you Mother that nature hath given me Titles of Honour Wit and Beauty to which all men will bow to with respect Titles from Kings poor petty things to those Mere But Daughter let me tell you that wit and beauty without modesty civility and vertuous courtesie may insnare facile fools and allure fond persons but not perswade the judicious to esteem you nor the constant to sue to you nor true love to desire you you may have vain Boasters and amotous Flatterers to court you but none that is wise or honourable will marry you and to use this Noble Lord so disrespectfully who is indued with vertue and adorned with the graces and beloved of the Muses is a crime unpardonable Capris. Mother the Muses and the Graces are Witches which enchants the soul and charms the Spirits and makes the Senses extravagant and the actions desperate Mere Methinks they should charm you if they have such power Capris. My humour is a Spell against all such charms Ex. Scene 32. Enter Monsieur Profession and Monsieur Comorade his Friend COmorade You are well met for I was going to your lodging to see you Profession And I am now going home and therefore let us go together Comorade Where have you been Profession At a house you often resort to Comorade What at a Bawdy-house Profession Yes Comorade Why how durst you venture Profession Why Comorade Why why if your angelical Mistresse should come to hear of it Faith she would bury your heart again Profession Yes is it were not out of her power Comorade Why hath she not the Possession Profession No saith Comorade How comes that to passe Profession I know not how but upon some dislike it grew weary and by some opportunity it found it stole home and since it hath promised never to leave me again for it hath confessed to me it hath been most miserably tormented with doubts fears jealousies and despairs Comorade Prethee let me tell thee as a friend that thy heart is a false lying heart for there inhabits no torments amongst angelical bodies Profession By your favour in Plutoes Court there be Angels as well and as many as in Ioves But let me tell you that if I did not love you very well I would call you to an account for calling my heart a false lying heart Comorade Prethee pacifie thy self for I am sure I have had but a heartless friend of thee all the time of thy hearts absence and if I should rayle of thy heart thou hast no reason to condemn me but prethee tell me had not thy heart some pleasure sometimes to mitigate the torments Profession No saith for my heart tells me that what with rigid vertue cruel scorn and insulting pride it never had a minutes pleasure nor so much as a moment of ease and if that there were no more hopes of happiness amongst the Gods in Heaven than there is amongst the Goddesses on Earth it would never desire to go to them or dwell amongst them Nay my heart says it should be as much affraid to go to Heaven and to be with the Gods as mortals are to go to Hell to be with Divels Comorade But if pleasure and happiness is not to be found with vertue nor with the Gods where shall we seek for it Profession I will tell you what my heart saith and doth assure me that is that pleasure lives alwaies with vice and that good fellowship is amongst the damned and it doth swear it is a most melancholly life to live with those that are called the blessed which are the Goddesses on Earth Comorade Why then let us return to the house from
Chapter conteins more than half the book The Last Chapter is remembrance which is also a very long Chapter and the variety of thoughts are the several letters in which these Chapters are writ but they are not all writ after one kind of writing neither are they writ with one and the same language For knowledge is writ in great and plain letters memory and understanding in finer and smaller letters Conceptions and Imaginations after the manner of way as like Hierogyphiks Remembrance is writ as after the like way of Characters Knowledge is writ in the Originall Language as we may liken to Hebrew Memory and Understanding are writ in a language derived therefrom Conception and Imagination are written in heathen Greek Remembrance is writ in a mixt or compounded language like as English but yet it is most like that we call old English But the most profitablest School is consideration And the best Tutour is reason and when the mind is distempered or obstructed with Ignorance education is the best Physick which purges it cleanses and freeth it from all gross and foul and filthy Errours but the Educatours which are the Physitians should be well chosen for the plain truth is that youth should be taught by those that are grave and sage that they may learn experience by the Second hand otherwayes Age only knows but hath no time to practise in but if that youth be taught good principles their life growes high by Noble deeds and broadly spreads with Honours but when that youth have liberty to sport and play casting their learning time away they grow like poisonous plants or weeds which makes their life swell big with venomous passions and dispositions and burst with evil deed but youth their understanding is like their years and bodyes little and weak for the Soul is improved by the Senses but Educatours their Physicians presents to their Senses the most wholesom and nurishing meat for as the body is nurished and grows strong by good disgestion so doth the Soul gain knowledge by information but if the food be unwholesom or more than the Stomach be able to digest or that the body is not fed sufficiently the body becomes lean weak saint and sick so the Soul or mind If the senses be imperfect or the objects more than can be well disenst or too many for the temper of the brain or that the brain be too cold or to hot then the Soul or mind like the body decayes for like as the bodily senses so the senses of the Soul decayes for the understanding as the Spirits grows saint the judgment as the liver wan and weak the memory as the eyes grows dim and blind the thoughts as the several limbs grows feeble and lazy but some remedy is for those diseases for the speculative notes helpes the dull memory cordiall learning the faint understanding purging and opening experience the wan and obstructed judgment and necessity exercises the lazy thoughts but if the brain be defective or the Soul imperfect from the birth there is no remedy for then the reason proves a dwarf and the understanding a fool but if the Soul be perfect and the brain well tempered then the Soul is like the serene and azure Sky wherein reason as the Sun gives light to all the Animal World where the thoughts as several Creatures lives therein some being bred in the deep and restless Ocean of Imagination others as from the fixt Earth of knowledge springs and as the Gods governs the World and the Creatures therein so the Soul should govern the body and the Appetites thereof which governing is to govern still to the best As for the continuance of the World so for the prolonging of the life of the body which government I wish to the Soul of every young Student here In the next place I shall speak to Oratours whose study and practice is language and language although it is not born with man yet it is bred with man or in man either by their education or their own Invention for if language had a beginning it was invented by the Creature if no beginning it was taught them by the Gods for though that Nature made such Organs as was proper to express language with yet it seems as if she did not Creat language as a principal work but if she did then Oratours tongues are Natures Musicall instruments but the best Musicall Instruments were better to lye unplaid with than to sound out of Tune or to strike jarring discord which displeaseth more than the harmony can delight so likewise it were better not to speak than to speak to no purpose or to an evill design but Oratory or Rhetorick is as all other Musick is which lives more in sound than in substance it charms the eare but it cannot inchant the reason it may enslave the passions but not conquer the understanding it may obstruct truth and abuse virtue but it can neither destroy the one nor corrupt the other it can flatter up hopes and raise up doubts but it cannot delude experience it can make factions and raise tumults but seldome rectify disorders for it is to be observed that in those States or Nations where Oratory and Rhetorick flourisheth most the Common-wealth is for the most part distempered and Justice looses her seat and many times the State looses its former Government Customs and Lawes witness the Romans Athens and Lacedemonians and others that were ruined by their flourishing Rhetorick and factious Oratory but it is thought that the flowers of Rhetorick is much vaded since the time of the Athens through the whole World and that the lively Cullours are quite lost if it be so then surely the deffect is much in the first education of Children for in Infancy is a time these should take a good print but their Nurses is their Grammar and her tongue is their first Tutour which most commonly learns them the worst part of Speech which parts are Eight as impertinent questions cross answers broken relations false reports rude speeches mistaking words misplaccing words new words of their own making without a signification Wherefore parents that would bring up their Children elegantly and eloquently they must have a learned Grammar and a wise Tutour at the first to teach them for the mouth as the Press Prints the breath as the paper with words as the Ink and reason and sense bindes them up into a book or vollume of discourses but certainly the Oratours of this Age for eloquence and elegancy comes not short of the eloquent Oratours of Athens or any other State they only use it to better designs than to make Warrs on their Neighbours to banish their Citizens or those that ought to be rewarded to alter their Government and ruine their state no worthy Oratours you use your eloquence for peace love and unity and not for faction War and ruine for which may the Gods of eloquence assist you But there is two sorts of Oratours the one
several way Also her life was like a Monarchy where Reason as sole King did govern al her actions which actions like as Loyal Subjects did obey those Laws which Reason decreed Also her life was like Ioves Mansions high as being placed above this worldly Globe from whence her Soul looked down on duller earth mixt not but viewed poor mortals here below thus was her life above the world because her life prized not the Trifles here Perchance this Noble Company will think I have said too much and vainly thus to speak That Fathers should not praise their Children so Because that from their Root and Stock did grow Why may not Roots boast if their Fruites be good As hindering worth in their own Flesh and blood Shall they dissemble to say they are naught Because they are their own sure that 's a fault Unpardonable as being a lye that 's told Detracting lyes the baser lyes I hold Neither can strangers tell their life and worth Nor such affections have to set them forth As Parents have or those that 's neer of Kin Virtuous Partiality sure that 's no sin And virtue though she be lovliest when undrest Yet she is pleas'd when well she is exprest But Oh! my words have spent my stock of breath And Life 's commanded forth by powerful Death When I am dead this company I pray The last rites done me by my daughter lay And as her soul did with the Muses flye To imitate her in her a verse I dye He falls back in his Chair and is dead Mr. Comfort Noble Friends you heard his request which was to be buryed in his daughters grave and whilst you show your charity in laying the Corps of his daughter in the grave I will carry out his body and put it into a Coffin and then lay him in the same grave The Company said Do so Goes out with the body The whilst the Virgins take up the Lady Sanspareiles Herse and whilst they are putting it into the grave this Song following was sung Tender Virgins as your Birth Put her gently in the earth What of Moral or Divine Here is lapt up in this shrine Rhetorick dumb Philosophy Both those arts with her did dye And grieved Poets cannot choose But lament for her their Muse When she was putting into the Grave this Song following was sung Her Tomb her Monument her Name Beyond an Epitaph her Fame Death be not proud imbracing more Now than in all thy reign before Boasting thy Triumphs since thou must But justly glory in her dust Let thy Dart rust and lay it by For after her none 's sit to dye After this her Peal is Rung on Lutes by Musicians And the Company goes out Scene 23. A Tomb is thrust on the Stage then the Lord de l'Amour enters LOrd de l'Amour Now I am free no hinderance to my own Tragedy He goeth to the Tomb This Tomb her sacred Body doth contain He draws his Sword then he kneels down by the Tomb and then prayes Dear Soul pardon my crimes to thee they were crimes of ignorance not malice Sweet gentle Spirits flye me not but stay And let my Spirits walk thy Spirits way You lov'd me once your Love in death renew And may our soules be as two Lovers true Our Blood 's the Bonds our wounds the Seals to Print Our new Contract and Death a witnesse in 't He takes his Sword Had I as many lives as Poors in skin He sacrifize them for my ignorant sin As he speaks he falls upon his Sword Enter his Friend Master Charity He seeing him lye all in blood almost dead runs to him and heaves him up Friend I did fear this which made me follow him but I am come too late to save his life O my Lord speak if you can Lord de l'Amour Friend lay me in this Tomb by my affianced Wife for though I did not usher her to the grave I will wait after her Dyes EPILOGUE Noble Spectators now you have seen this Play And heard it speak let 's hear what now you say But various judgements various sentences give Yet we do hope you 'l sentence it may live But not in Prison be condemn'd to lye Nor whipt with censure rather let it dye Here on this Stage and see the Funeral Rites Which is to put out all the Candle lights And in the grave of darknesse let it rest In peace and quiet and not molest The harmlesse soul which hopes Mercury may Unto the Elizium fields it safe convey But if you sentence life the Muses will Attend it up unto Parnassus Hill If so pray let your hands here in this place Clap it as an applause the triumph grace FINIS These Verses the Lord Marquesse writ This Song the Lord Marquesse writ This Song was writ by the Lord Marquesse This Song was writ by the Lord Marquesse of New-castle The first Part of the Lady Contemplation The Actors Names Lord Title Lord Courtship Sir Experience Traveller Sir Fancy Poet Sir Golden Riches Sir Effeminate Lovely Sir Vain Complement Sir Humphrey Interruption Mr. Adviser Doctor Practise and other Gentlemen Tom Purveyer Roger Farmer Old Humanity Servants and others The Lady Contemplation The Lady Conversation The Lady Visitant The Lady Ward The Lady Virtue Lady Amorous Mrs. Troublesome Mrs. Governesse the Lady Virtues Attendant Nurse Careful Nurse to Lady Ward Maudlin Huswife Roger Farmers wife Mall Mean-bred the daughter Nan Scape-all Maid to the Lady Virtue The first Part of the Lady Contemplation ACT I. Scene 1. Enter the Lady Contemplation and the Lady Visitant VIsitant What Lady Contemplation musing by your self alone Contemplation Lady Visitant I would you had been ten miles off rather than to have broken my Contemplation Visitant Why are you so godly to be so serious at your Devotion Contemplation No faith they were Contemplations that pleas'd me better than Devotion could have done for those that contemplate of Heaven must have death in their mind Visitant O no for there is no Death in Heaven to disturb the joyes thereof Contemp. But we must dye before we come to receive those joyes and the terrifying thoughts of Death take away the pleasing thoughts of Heaven Visitant Prethee let me know those pleasing thoughts Contemplation I did imagine my self such a Beauty as Nature never made the like both for Person Favour and Colour and a Wit answerable to my Beauty and my Breeding and Behaviour answerable to both my Wisdome excelling all And if I were not thus as I say yet that every one should think I were so for opinion creates more and perfecter Beauties than Nature doth And then that a great powerful Monarch such a one as Alexander or Caesar fell desperately in love with me seeing but my Picture which was sent all about the world yet my Picture I did imagine was to my disadvantage not flattering me any wayes yet this Prince to be inamoured with this shadow for the substance sake Then Love perswaded
I do esteem of such Riches as Money as I do of Marriage and in my nature I do hate them both for a man is enslaved by either wherefore I would shun them if I could and turn them out of doors but that some sorts of necessity and conveniency inforce me to entertain them the one for Posteritie sake the other for subsistence of present life besides convenient pleasures Lady Am. The Lady Ward who is to be your wife seems of a very dull disposition Lord Court She is so but I like her the better for that for I would have a deadly dull Wife and a lively Mistresse such a sprightly Lady as you are Lady Am. In truth my Lord I am of a melancholy Nature Lord Court Certainly Madam you onely know the Name not the Nature for your Nature is alwayes fresh and sweet and pleasant as the Spring Lady Am. O no my mind is like to VVinter and my thoughts are numb and cold Lord Court If your thoughts were so cold your words would be as if they were frozen between your lips all your discourse would melt by drops not flow so smoothly and swiftly into mens eares as they at all times do Lady Am. T is true I am merry when I am in your company but in your absence I am as dull as a cloudy day and as melancholy as dark night Lord Court I cannot believe so well of my self as that my company can be the light of your mirth but I know that your company is the Sun of my life nor could I live without it Ex. Scene 11. Enter the Lord Title Sir Effeminate Lovely and Sir Golden Riches LOrd Title This is a barren Country for in all this progresse I have not seen a pretty Country wench Effeminate Lovely Nor I Golden Riches Nor I Lord Title If an person can tell it is Tom Purveyer Enter Tom Purveyer Now Tom Purveyer are there no pretty wenches in this part of the Countrey Tom Purveyer Yes that there are an it please your Lorship and not far off two as pretty wenches as are in the Kingdome and no dispraise to the rest They all speak All Where where Tom Purveyer Hard by here at a Farmers House the one is his Daughter the other is his Servant-Maid All Prethee Tom show us the house Tom Purveyer Not all at once but one after another All Nay faith Tom let us all see them at once but we will Court them apart Tom Purveyer Content Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Conversation and Sir Fancy Poet LAdy Conversation What is the reason that Mercury is feign'd to be the patron of Thieves Sir Fancy Poet That is to be the patron of Scholars for Scholars are the greatest Thieves stealing from the Authours they read to their own use Lady Convers. And why are Scholars counted the greatest Thieves Sir Fancy Poet Because that they steal the Spirits or life of renown out of the treasury of Fame when all other sorts of Thieves steal but the goods of Fortune which is nothing but a Corporal dross Convers. And why is he feigned the talkative God Sir Fancy Poet Because Scholars talk more than other men and most commonly so much as they will let none speak but themselves and when there is a Company of Scholars together they will be so fierce in disputes as they will be ready to go to cuffs for the Prerogative of their opinion Convers. The Prerogative of the tongue you mean but why are Scholars apt to talk most Sir Fancy Poet Because they overcharge their heads with several Authors as Epicures do their Stomacks with variety of meats and being overcharged they are forced to vent it forth through the mouth as the other through the gut for the tongue as a Feather tickles the throat of Vainglory vomiting out the slime of Learning into the ears of the hearers but some heads as Stomacks which are naturally weak are so grip'd by reason it doth not disgest well as they vent nothing but windy Phrases and other brains which are hot and moist by reason of a facil memory disgest so fast as they do nothing but purge loose Sentences and other brains that are too dry and Incipid are so costive as their restringency strains out nothing but strong lines Convers. What is that Non-sense Sir Fancy Poet Indeed they are hard words without sense Convers. What makes a good Poet Sir Fancy Poet A quick Fancy Convers. What makes a good Oratour Sir Fancy Poet A ready Tongue Convers. What makes a good Physician Sir Fancy Poet Much Practice Convers. What makes a good Divine Sir Fancy Poet A Holy Life Convers. What makes a good States-Man Sir Fancy Poet Long experience great observance prudent industry ingenuous wit and distinguishing judgment Convers. What makes a good Souldier Sir Fancy Poet Change of Fortune Courage Prudence and Patience Convers. What makes a good Courtier Sir Fancy Poet Diligence Flattery and time-serving Convers. VVhat makes a good Prince or Governour Sir Fancy Poet Justice Clemency Generosity Courage and Prudence mixt together Convers. VVhat makes a good VVoman Sir Fancy Poet A Poet Convers. VVhy a Poet Sir Fancy Poet By reason the Poetical wits convert their natural defects into sweet graces their follies to pure innocencies and their Vices into Heroick Virtues Convers. By these descriptions you make as if women were more obliged to Poets than to Nature Sir Fancy Poet They are so for where Nature or Education makes one good or beautiful VVoman Poets make ten besides Poets have not only made greater numbers of beautiful women but perfecter beauties than ever Nature made Convers. Then let me tell you that women make Poets for women kindle the masculine brains with the fire of Love from whence arises a Poetical flame and their Beauty is the fuel that feeds it Sir Fancy Poet I confess were there no women there would be no Poets for the Muses are of that Sex Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 13. Enter Roger Farmer and Maudling his Wife MAudling Huswife Truly Husband our Maid Poor Virtue is a very industrious Servant as ever I had in my life Roger Farmer Yes wife but you were angry with me at first because I perswaded you to take her Maudling Huswife VVhy she seem'd to be so fine a feat as I thought she would never have setled to her work Roger Farmer Truly VVife she does forecast her business so prudently and doth every thing so orderly and behaves her self so handsomely carryes her self so modestly as she may be a Pattern to our Daughter Maudling Huswife I am a better Pattern my self Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Poor Virtue with a Sheephook as comming from tending her sheep and the Lord Title meets her LOrd Title Fair Maid may I be your Shepheard to attend you Poor Virtue I am but a single Sheep that needs no great attendance and a harmless one that strayes not forth the ground I am put to feed Lord Title Mistake me not fair Maid I
as a great Lady But if we could conquer and imprison Monsieur Satyrical in Loves Fetters that would be a Conquest worthy Fames Trumpet Pleasure O that would be such an Exploit as it would be an Honour to our Sex Bon' Esprit There is nothing I desire more than to be she that might infetter him Portrait I long to insnare him Ambition So do I Bon' Esprit Faith I will lay an Ambuscado for him Matron Fie Ladies fie I am asham'd to hear the Designs you have no catch Monsieur Satyrical such Fair Young Noble Ladies to be so wanton as none will content you but a wilde rough rude Satyr Bon' Esprit If I were sure there were no other ways to get him I would become a Wood-nymph for his sake Matron You have forgot the Nymph that was turned into a Bear Bon' Esprit O she was one of cruel Diana's Nymphs but I will be none of her Order Matron No I dare swear you will not for 't is unlikely you should when you desire to imbrace a Satyr Bon' Esprit I do not desire to imbrace him but to enamour him Matron Well Ladies your Parents gave you to my Care and Charge but since you are so wilde to talk of nothing but Nymphs Woods and Satyrs I will resigne up the Trust which was imposed on me to your Parents again for I will not adventure my Reputation with such wanton young Ladies Bon' Esprit Mother Matron let me tell thee thy Reputation is worn out of thee Time hath devoured it and therefore thou hast no Reputation to lose Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Censure and Monsieur Frisk FRisk Fath Tom I have emptyed thy pockets Censure Thou hast pick'd my pockets with thy juggling Dice for which if thou wert a woman and in my power I would be reveng'd for my loss Frisk Why what would you do if I were a Woman Censure I would condemn thee to a solitary silent life which to a woman is worse than Hell for company and talking is their Heaven and their Tongues are more restless than the Sea their Passions more stormy than the Winds and their Appetites more unsatiable and devouring than fire they are lighter than Air more changing than the Moon Frisk What makes thee thus rail at the Effeminate Sex Censure Have I not reason when Fortune is of the same gender Enter Madamoiselle Faction Frisk Faith Tom I must tell Faction What will you tell Frisk Why I will tell you Lady he hath rail'd most horribly against your Sex Faction That is usual for all those men which never received nor hope to receive any favour from our Sex will rail against it Censure Those men have no reason Lady to commend you if they never received neither profit nor pleasure from you and those that have been cruelly used by your Sex may lawfully rail against it Faction The Laws of Honour forbid it Censure But the Laws of Nature allow it and Nature is the most prevailing law Faction Natures law is for Men to love Women and Women Men but in you and I there is not that Sympathy for I dislike your Sex as much as you do ours and could rail with as free a will against it The truth is that although I do not hate men yet I despise them for all men appear to me either Beasts or Butter-flies which are either sensual or vain Indeed most men are worse than beasts for beasts are but according to their kind when men are degenerated by beastly Sensualies from which they were made for as most men are worse than beasts so you are worse than most men Censure It is a favour Lady from your Sex to rail against ours for it is a sign you have considered us and that we live in your memory although with your ill opinions yet it is better to live with Enemies than not to be and of all men I have received the greatest favour from the chiefest of your Sex which is your self in that you have considered me most though you have found me worst yet it proves you have thought of me Faction If those thoughts and dispraises be favours I will binde so many together until they become as thick and hard as steel of which you may make an Armour to keep your Reputation from wounds of reproach She goes out Frisk There Tom she hath paid thee both for thy Railings and Complements Censure She hath not payd me in current coyn Frisk It will pass for disgrace I 'll warrant thee Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madam Ambition Faction Portrait Bon' Esprit Pleasure BOn Esprit There are but three things a gallant man requires which is a Horse a Sword and a Mistris Ambition Yet a gallant man wants Generosity for the greatest honour for a man is to be generous for Generosity comprises all Virtues good Qualities and sweet Graces for a generous man will never spare his life purse nor labour for the sake of just Right plain Truth Honest Poverty Distress Misery or the like for a generous man hath a couragious yet compassionate Heart a constant and noble Mind a bountiful Hand an active and industrious Life and he is one that joyes more to do good than others to receive good Pleasure There are few or none that have such noble Souls as to prefer anothers good before their own Portrait The truth is men have more promising Tongues than performing deeds Faction For all I can perceive mans life is composed of nothing but deceit treachery and rapine Bon' Esprit Indeed mans mind is like a Forest and his thoughts like wilde beasts inhabit therein Ambition Mans Mind is like a Sea where his Thoughts like Fishes swim therein where some Thought are like huge Leviathans others like great Whales but some are like Sprats Shrimps and Minnues Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality What is like a Minnues Ambition A mans Soul Sensuality It is better have a soul although no bigger than a Minnues than none at all as Women have but if they have I dare swear it is no bigger than a pins point Bon' Esprit Very like which point pricks down thoughts into the Brain and Passions in the heart and writes in the Brain witty Conceits if the point be sharp Sensuality No no it serves onely to raise their brains with Vanity to ingrave their hearts with Falshood and to scratch out their lives with Discontent Pleasure We oftner scratch out mens lives than our own Sensuality Nay you oftner scratch out our honour than our lives Faction For my part I have an itch to be scratching Sensuality I believe you for you have a vexatious soul Faction It hath cause to be vexatious for the point of my soul is whetted with Aqua Fortis against your Sex Sensuality I 'm sure Lady your tongue is whetted with Aqua Fortis Faction So is yours Sensuality If it be let us try which point is sharpest Faction I will leave the Trial to Time and Occasion Exeunt Scene 17.
but I perceive Lady you are a right begotten daughter of Nature and will follow the steps of your Mother 1 Virgin Yes or else I should be unnatural which I will never be Exeunt ACT II. Scene 8. Enter Monsieur Pere and Monsieur Frere MOnsieur Frere Sir I wonder since my sister is so handsome that you did not marry her more to her advantage Pere Why Son I think I have marry'd her very well for your advantage for her beauty was her only Portion and she is marry'd to a noble Gentleman who hath a very great Estate Frere But Sir her beauty doth deserve a King nay an Emperour a Caesar of the World Pere O Son you are young which makes you partial on your sisters side Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Madam Bonit and her Maid Nan BOnit It 's a strange forgetfulness not to come near me in two hours but let me sit without a fire if you were my Mistris I should make a conscience to be more diligent than you are if I did take wages for my service as you do Nan If you do not like me take another Bonit If you be weary of my service pray change perchance you may get a better Mistris and I hope I shall get as careful a servant Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Sociable Virgins and the Matrons 1 VIrgin I would have all women bred to manage Civil Affairs and men to manage the Military both by Sea and Land also women to follow all Manufactures at home and the men all Affairs that are abroad likewise all Arts of Labour the men to be imploy'd in and for all Arts of Curiosity the women 2 Virgin Nay certainly if women were imploy'd in the Affairs of State the World would live more happily 3 Virgin So they were imploy'd in those things or business that were proper for their strength and capacity 1 Matron Let me tell you Ladies women have no more capacity than what is as thin as a Cobweb-laun which every eye may see through even those that are weak and half blind 4 Virgin Why we are not Fools we are capable of Knowledge we only want Experience and Education to make us as wise as men Matron But women are uncapable of publick Imployments 1 Virgin Some we will grant are so are some men for some are neither made by Heaven Nature nor Education sit to be States-men 2 Virgin And Education is the chief for Lawyers and Divines can never be good States-men they are too learned to be wise they may be good Orators but never subtil Counsellors they are better Disputers than Conuivers they are fitter for Faction than Reformation the one make quarrels or upholds quarrels the other raises doubts But good States-men are bred in Courts Camps and Cities and not in Schools and Closets at Bars and in Pulpits and women are bred in Courts and Cities they only want the Camp to give them the perfect State-breeding 3 Virgin Certainly if we had that breeding and did govern we should govern the world better than it is 4 Virgin Yes for it cannot be govern'd worse than it is for the whole World is together by the Ears all up in Wars and Blood which shews there is a general defect in the Rulers and Governors thereof 1 Virgin Indeed the State-Counsellers in this Age have more Formality than Policy and Princes more plausible words than rewardable deeds insomuch as they are like Fidlers that play Artificially and Skilfully yet it is but a sound which they make and give and not real presences 2 Virg. You say true and as there is no Prince that hath had the like good fortune as Alexander and Caesar so none have had the like Generosities as they had which shews as if Fortune when she dealt in good earnest and not in mockery measur'd her gifts by the largeness of the Heart and the liberality of the hand of those she gave to And as for the death of those two Worthies she had no hand in them nor was she any way guilty thereof for the Gods distribute life and death without the help of Fortune Matron 'T is strange Ladies to hear how you talk without knowledge neither is it fit for such young Ladies as you are to talk of State-matters leave this discourse to the Autumnal of your Sex or old Court-Ladies who take upon them to know every thing although they understand nothing But your Discourses should be of Masks Plays and Balls and such like Recreations fit for your Youth and Beauties Scene 11. Enter Monsieur Malataste and Madam Bonit MAlataste What 's the reason you turn away Nan Bonit Why she turns away me for she is more willing to be gone than I to have her go Malateste It is a strange humour in you as never to be pleas'd for you are always quarrelling with your servants Bonit Truly I do not remember that ever I had a dispute or quarrel with any servant since I was your Wife before this with your Maid Nan and to prove it is that I do not speak many words in a whole day Malateste Those you speak it seems are sharp Bonit Let it be as you say for I will not contradict you Malateste Well then take notice I will not have Nan turn'd away Bonit I am glad she pleases you so well and sorry I can please you no better Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Frere alone FRere She is very handsom extreme handsom beyond all the women that ever Nature made O that she were not my sister Enter Madam Soeur He starts Soeur I doubt Brother I have surpriz'd you with my sudden coming in for you start Frere Your Beauty Sister will not only surprize but astonish any man that looks thereon Soeur You have us'd your self so much to dissembling Courtships since you went into Italy as you cannot forbear using them to your sister But pray leave off that unnecessary civility to me and let us talk familiarly as brothers and sisters use to do Frere With all my heart as familiarly as you please Soeur Pray Brother tell me if the women in Italy be handsom and what Fashions they have and how they are behav'd Frere To tell you in short they are so Artify'd as a man cannot tell whether they are naturally handsom or not As for their Behaviour they are very Modest Grave and Ceremonious in publick and in private confident kind and free after an humble and insinuating manner they are bred to all Virtues especially to dance sing and play on Musical Instruments they are naturally crafty deceitful false covetous luxurious and amorous they love their pleasures better than Heaven As for their fashion of garments they change as most Nations do as one while in one and then in another As for their Houses they are furnish'd richly and themselves adorned costly when they keep at home in their houses for they dress themselves finest when they entertain strangers or acquaintance but this Relation is only of
light from the Sun or the World from its Center or the fix'd Stars from their assigned places than draw away love from him Sensible Why how if he will not have you Amor I can only say I shall be unhappy Sensible I hope you will be wiser than to make your self miserable for one you cannot have to be your Husband Exeunt Scene 27. Enter many of Monsieur Malateste's Servants writing against their Master and Ladies comming home Enter Monsieur Malateste and his Lady SErvants Heaven give your Worship joy and our noble Lady Madam Mal. What is this your best House Monsieur Mal. Yes and is it not a good one Sweet Madam Mal. Fie upon it I hate such an old-fashiond House wherefore pray pull it down and build another more fashionable as that there may be a Bell-view and Pergalus round the outside of the Horse also Arched Gates Pillars and Pilasters and carved Frontispeeces with Antick Imagery also I would have all the lower rooms vaulted and the upper rooms flat-roof'd painted and gilded and the Planchers checker'd and inlaid with silver the Stair-case to be large and winding the steps broad and low as shallow then to take in two or three Fields about your House to make large Gardens wherein you may plant Groves of Mirtle as also to make Walks of green Turf and those to be hanging and shelving as if they hung by Geometry also Fountains and Water-works and those Water-works to imitate those Birds in Winter that only sing in Summer Monsieur Mal. But this will cost a great summ of money Wise Madam Mal. That 's true Husband but to what use is money unless to spend Monsieur Mal. But it ought to be spent prudently Madam Mal. Prudently say you why Prudence and Temperance are the Executioners of Pleasure and Murtherers of Delight wherefore I hate them as also this covetous humour of yours Exeunt Monsieur Malateste and his Wife 1 Servant I marry Sir here is a Lady indeed for she talks of pulling down this House before she hath throughly seen it and of building up another 2 Servant If you will have my opinion the old servants must go down as well as the old house 3 Servant I believe so for she look'd very scornfully upon us nor spoke not one word either good or bad to us 4 Servant Well come let us go about our imployments and please as long as we can and when we can please no longer we must seek other Services Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madam Soeur MAdam Soeur Do not pursue such horrid Acts as to Whore your Sister Cuckold your Brother-in-Law dishonour your Father and brand your life and memory with black infamy Good Brother consider what a world of misery you strive to bring upon your self and me Frere Dear Sister pity me and let a Brothers pleading move your heart and bury not my youth in Death before the natural time Soeur 'T is better you should die and in the grave be laid than live to damn your soul Frere To kill my self will be as bad a crime Soeur O no for Death any way is more honourable than such a life as you would live Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the two Gentlemen 1 Gent. FRiend prethee tell me why you do not marry 2 Gent. Because I can find no woman so exact as I would have a Wife to be for first I would not have a very tall woman for the appears as if her soul and body were mis-match'd as to have a pigmy soul and a gyantly body 1 Gent. Perchance her soul is answerable to her body 2 Gent. O no for it is a question whether women have souls or no but for certain if they have they are of a dwarfish kind Neither would I have a wife with a masculine strength for it seems praeposterous to the softness and tenderness of their Sex neither would I have lean wife for she will appear always to me like the picture of Death had she but a sythe and hour-glass in her hand for though we are taught to have always Death in our Mind to remember our End yet I would not have Death always before my Eyes to be afraid of my End But to have a very lean wife were to have Death in my Arms as much as in my Eyes and my Bed would be as my Grave 1 Gent. Your Bed would be a warm Grave 2 Gent. Why man though Death is cold the Grave is hot for the Earth hath heat though Death hath none 1 Gent. What say you to a fat woman 2 Gent. I say a fat woman is a bed-fellow only for the Winter and not for the Summer and I would have such a woman for my Wife as might be a nightly companion all the year 1 Gent. I hope you would not make your Wife such a constant bed-fellow as to lie always together in one bed 2 Gent. Why not 1 Gent. Because a mans stomack or belly may ake which will make wind work and the rumbling wind may decrease love and so your wife may dislike you and dislike in time may make a Cuckold 2 Gent. By your favour it increases Matrimonial Love 't is true it may decrease Amorous Love and the more Amorous Love increases the more danger a man is in for Amorous Love even to Husbands is dangerous for that kind of Love takes delight to progress about when Matrimonial Love is constant and considers Nature as it is Besides a good Wife will not dislike that in her Husband which she is subject to her self but howsoever I will never marry unless I can get such a Wife as is attended by Virtue directed by Truth instructed by Age on honest grounds and honourable principles which Wife will neither dislike me nor I her but the more we are together the better we shall love and live as a maried pair ought to live and not as dissembling Lovers as most maried couples do 1 Gentlem. What think you of choosing a Wife amongst the Sociable Virgins 2 Gent. No no I will choose none of them for they are too full of discourse for I would have a Wife rather to have a listning Ear than a talking Tongue for by the Ear she may receive wise instructions and so learn to practise that which is noble and good also to know my desires as to obey my will when by speaking muck she may express her self a fool for great Talkers are not the wisest Practisers Besides her restless Tongue will disturb my Contemplations the Tranquillity of my Mind and the peace quiet and rest of my Life Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Madam Malateste and another Maid and Nan the former Ladies Maid MAdam Mal. Are you she that takes upon you to govern and to be Mistris in this House Nan Why I do but that I did in the other Ladies time Madam Mal. Let me tell you you shall not do so in my time nay you shall have no doings wherefore get you out of the
this discourse is that since Self-love is the Fountain of and in Nature from whence issue out several Springs to every several Creature wherein Mankind being her chiefest and Supreme work is filled with the fullest Springs from that Fountain which is the cause that Mankind is more industrious cruel and unsatiable to and for his self ends than any other Creature he spares nothing that he hath power to destroy if he fears any hurt or hopes for any gain or finds any pleasure or can make any sport or to imploy his idle time he melts metalls distills and dissolves plants dissects animals substracts and extracts Elements he digs up the bowels of the Earth cuts through the Ocean of the Sea gathers the winds into Sails fresh waters into Mills and imprisons the thinner Ayre he Hunts he Fowls he Fishes for sport with Gunns Nets and Hooks he cruelly causeth one Creature to destroy another the whilst he looks on with delight he kills not only for to live but lives for to kill and takes pleasure in torturing the life of other Creatures in prolonging their pains and lengthning their Deaths and when Man makes friendship of Love it is for his own sake either in humouring his passion or feeding his humour or to strengthen his party or for Trust or Counsel or Company or the like causes if he dies for his friend it is either for fame or that he cannot live himself happy without his friend his passion and grief making him restless if Man loves his Children Wife or Parents t is for his own sake he loves his Parents for the honour he receives by them or for the life he received of them if he loves his Wife or the Wife the Husband it is for their own sakes as their own pleasure as either for their Beauties Wits Humours or other Graces or for their Company or Friendships or because they think they love them if they love their Children it is for their own sakes as to keep alive their memory and to have their duty and obedience to bow and do homage to them If Masters love their Servants it is for their own sakes because they are trusty faithfull and industrious in their affairs imployments or for their own profit or ease and if Servants love their Masters it is for their own sakes as either for their power to protect them or for the regard they have to them or for the gain they get from them or for their lives that are nourished and maintained by them if Amorous Lovers love it is for their own sakes as to please the Appetite and to satisfy their desires if Subjects love their Soveraigns it is for their own sakes as that they may have Law and Justice Peace and Unity If Sovereigns love their Subjects it is for their own sakes because they bear up his Throne with their Wealth and Industry and fight to maintain or get him power My Application most Noble and Right Honourable is that since we do all and in every act for our own sakes we should indeavour and study for that which is best for our selves and the ground of our indeavour is to learn and know our selves every particular person must learn and know himself not by comparative as observing others for every man is not alike but by self study reading our own Natures and Dispositions marking our own Passions mours and Appetites with the Pen of Thought and Ink of Examination and let the Truth be the Tutor to instruct you in the School of Reason in which you may Commence Master of Art and go out Doctor of Judgment to practise Temperance for Temperance keeps in its full strength prolongs Beauty quickens Wit ripens Youth refreshes Age restores Decayes keeps Health maintains Life and hinders Times ruines but Temperance is not only a Doctor of Physick a Physician to the Body but a Doctor of Divinity a Divine for the Soul It preaches and teaches good Life it instructs with the Doctrine of Tranquillity and guides to the Heaven of Happiness also Temperance is the Doctor of Musick it tunes the Senses composes the Thoughts it notes the Passions it measures the Appetites and playes a Harmonious Mind Thus Most Noble and Right Honourable I have proved that Self-love is the Fountain of Nature and the Original Springs of her Creatures and that Temperance is the strongest Foundation of Self-love although few build thereupon but upon Intemperance which is a huge Bulk of Excess the substance of Riot worm eaten with Surfers rotten with Pain and sinks down to death with Sickness and Grief not being able to bear and uphold Life wherefore build your Lives upon Temperance which is a strong and sure Foundation which will never fail but will uphold your Lives as long as Time and Nature permits them and your Souls will dwell peaceably and happily therein Exeunt ACT V. Scene 14. Enter Madamoiselle Amor alone as musing to her self alone then speaks MAdamoiselle Amor I will confess to him my Love since my designs are Noble but O for a woman to woo a man is against Nature and seems too bold nay impudent only by a contrary custome but why should not a woman confess she loves before she is wooed when after a seeming coyness gives consent as being won more by a Treaty than by Love when her obscure thoughts know well her heart was his at first bound as his prisoner and only counterfeits a freedome besides it were unjust although an antient custome if dissembling should be preferred before a Modern Truth for length of Time and often practices makes not Falshood Truth nor Wrong Right nor Evill Good then I will break down Customs Walls and honest Truth shall lead me on Love plead my Sute and if I be deny'd My heart will break and Death my Face will hide Exit Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Wife whither do you go when I come near you you always turn to go from me Madamoiselle Esperance I saw you not for I had rather be fixt as a Statue than move to your dislike Monsieur Esperance Why do you blush surely you are guilty of some crime Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is said blushing comes unsent for and departs without leave and that it oftner visits Innocency than guilt Madamoiselle Esperance weeps Monsieur Esperance What do you weep Madamoiselle Esperance How can I otherwise choose when my Innocent Life and True Love is suspected and all my pure affections are cast away like dross and the best of all my actions condemn'd as Traytors and my unspotted Chastity blemish'd with soul Jealousy and defamed with slandering words Monsieur Esperance Prethy Wife do not weep for every tear wounds me to Death and know it is my extreme Love which creates my fears but you might have had a Husband with more faults Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is true but not so many noble qualities as you have which makes
Wickedness are soon catcht and like the Plague they infect all they come near and Vanity Vice and Wickedness is soon learn'd when Virtue Goodness and Piety are hard Lessons for though Divines and natural Philosophers Preaches and so teaches them yet they are seldom understood for if they were the benefit would be known and men would pious and virtuous be for profits sake for Common-wealths that are composed and governed by Virtue Religion and good Life they are so strongly united by honest love as they become inpregnable against Forein Foes or home factions or temptations so live in peace and plenty which breeds both pleasure and delight for life doth never truly injoy it self but in rest ease and peace but to conclude most Noble and Right Honourable the Soul Sense and Education should be plain with Truth smooth with Virtue and bright with Piety or Zeal that the Body may live Easily the life Peaceably and that the Soul may be blessed with Everlasting Glory Exit Scene 2. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and three or four Gentlemen 1 GEntleman The Ladies of this Age are as inconstant as a fevourish pulse and their affections have more fainting sits than those are troubled with Epilepses 2 Gentleman Faith they will hang about ones neck one hour and spit in his Face the next 3 Gentleman That is because they would have variety for they respect Strangers more than friends for they will entertain Strangers with the civillest Behaviours fairest Faces and costliest Garments they have and make them welcome with their best Cheer when as their best Friends lovingest Servants and oldest Acquaintance they will neglect despise scorn command and rail against and quarrel with Nobilissimo O Gentlemen brave Cavaliers as you all are you must never complain discommend not condemn the Actions of the Effeminate Sex for that we are apt to call their Cruelty is their Justice our Sex meriting not their favours and whensoever we receive the least favours from that Sex we ought to give thanks as proceeding from a compassionate Goodness gentle Nature sweet Dispositions and generous Souls and not as a due or a debt for our service for we are bound by Nature not only to be their Servants but their Slaves to be lasht with their frowns if we be not diligent to their commands present at their calls industrious in their service and our neglects ought to be severely punished for we wear our lives only for their sakes as to defend their Honours to protect their Persons to obey their Commands and to please and delight their humours also the Estates we manage is theirs not ours we are but their Stuards to Husband and increase thier Stores to receive their Revenues and lay out their Expences for we have nothing we call our own since we our selves are theirs wherefore it is enough for us to admire their Beautyes to applaud their Wit to worship their Virtues and give thanks for their Favours Exeunt Scene 3. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Wife why art thou all undrest to day Madamoiselle Esperance The truth is I am become negligent in dressing since you only esteem my Virtue not my Habit Monsieur Esperance I would have you change into as many several dresses as Protheus shapes for it is not the dress can make me Jealous now for I am confident no Vanity can corrupt thy Virtue but that thy Virtue can convert Vanity to a pious use or end Madamoiselle Well Husband I shall study to form my self and fashion my dress both to your fancy and desire Monsieur Esperance Do so Wife Monsieur Esperance goes out Madamoiselle Esperance alone Madamoiselle Esperance Ha is my Husband so confident of me it is an ill sign from extreme Jealousy to an extreme Confidence the next will be a Carelessness and then a Neglect and there is nothing my Nature doth more abhor than neglect for Jealousy proceeds from Love but Neglect proceeds from a despising if not a hating besides he desires variety of dresses which shows my Beauty is vaded or he is weary in viewing of one object often but I find his humour is wandring and seeks for change if he should prove false O how unhappy should I be for I am naturally honest also my birth and education hath been honest besides my affections are so fixt as not to be removed thus I am tyed and cannot take liberty which other women do for no divert the sorrows of my heart or to revenge my wrongs but I shall mourn and weep my self to Water and sigh my self to Ayre Exit ACT II. Scene 4. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamoiselle Amor and Madamoiselle La Belle comes and peeps through the Hangings and sees them NObilissimo The bond of our Love is written in large profession but not sealed with the contracting kiss yet Monsieur Nobilissimo salutes his Mistriss Madamoiselle Amor her Sister Madamoiselle La Belle comes forth from behind the Hangings Madamoiselle La Belle So Sister are not you asham'd Madamoiselle Amor No truly for my love is so honest and the subject of my love so worthy as I am so far from being ashamed to own it as I glory in my affection Madamoiselle La Belle I only wonder that with so small acquaintaince such a familiar friendship should be made Madamoiselle Amor You have no cause to wonder for Innocency is easily known t is craft and subtilty that is obscure and treacherous falshood with leering Eyes doth at a distance stand when honestly and truth straight joyns in friendships bonds Nobilissimo My Sweet Innocent Virtuous Wise Mistriss Kisseth her hand Exeunt Scene 5. Enter Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious and Madamoiselle Tell-truth TEll-truth I pitty poor Madamoiselle Bon Spightfull Why so Tell-truth Because she is forsaken Spightfull I cannot pitty a Fool Tell-truth Why she is no Fool Spightfull Yes Faith but she is to be constant to an unconstant man Malicious The truth is I think that woman wisest that forsakes before she is forsaken Tell-truth But how and if she meets with a constant man Detractor That she cannot do for there is no man constant for they are all false and more changing than women are Malicious If any should prove unconstant to me I would Pistoll him Tell-truth Yes with the Gunpowder breath the Bullets of words and the Fire of anger which will do them no hurt Spightfull The best revenge I know against an Inconstant Man is to despise him Tell-truth He will not care for your despisements but Patience Patience is the best remedy for then a woman will be content although she hath not her desires Malicious Can any Creature be content without the fruition of desire Tell-truth Those that cannot must be unhappy all their Life Detractor Then all Mankind is unhappy for I dare I swear there is not any that can be content without the fruition of desire for desire is
Husband is taken away from her as his wife was from him but leaving this siege let us return to our own homes Exeunt Scene 33. Enter the Lord Melancholy as the Grate of the Cloyster of the Lady Perfection then she draws the Curtain before the Grate and appears to him LOrd Melancholy Madam yesterday when you were pleased to speak with me as now through this Grate you were pleas'd to tell me your Vows were so binding as they could not be dissolved wherefore I am not now come to examine or perswade nor to trouble your Devotions or to hinder your Meditations but to take my last leave for I shall never see you more at least not in this VVorld Lady Perfection Are you going to Travel Lord Melancholy I cannot say my body is going a far Journey I know not what my Soul may do Lady Perfection Shall not they go together Lord Melancholy No Death will make a divorce as the Law did betwixt you and I Lady Perfection Are you resolved to dye Lord Melancholy Yes Lady Perfection VVhy so Lord Melancholy To be at rest and peace for know that ever since I was last married my life hath been a Hell my Mind was tortured with thoughts of discontent and though I am releast from what I did dislike my mind is restless still for what it would enjoy this resolution is not new it hath been long considered for since I cannot live with that I love better than life I le try whether the passions of the Soul doe with the Body dye if so Death will be happy because it hath no sense nor feeling Lady Perfection How long have you been resolved of leaving life Lord Melancholy I have pondered of it ever since I was last Married but was not resolved untill you enter'd into this Order Lady Perfection Can I not perswade you to live Lord Melancholy Not unless you break your Vow Lady Perfection That I may not do Lord Melancholy Nor can I perswade you for I love your Constancy Lady Perfection Will you grant me one request before you dy Lord Melancholy Yes any thing but what may hinder my dying Lady Perfection Swear to me you will Lord Melancholy I swear by Heaven and Love I will Lady Perfection Then the time you are resolved to dye come hither and dye here that I may bear you Company dying the same minute if I can that you do Lord Melancholy How Lady Perfection Nay you have sworn it and if it be best for you it will be so for me for when you are dead I shall possess those torments that you in life feel now and if you love me so well as you express you do you will not desire to leave me to endure that you cannot suffer Lord Melancholy 'T is fit you should live to be a President to the World Lady Perfection Were I a President fit for the World to follow yet the World would not practice my precepts it is too bad to follow what is good and since my life cannot better the World and Death will ease my life of that which will trouble and afflict it I am resolv'd to dye And in the grave will bear you Company Lord Melancholy I do accept of thy dear Company Heaven so joyn our Souls they never may be separated and to morrow we will leave the World Lady Perfection Let me advise you concerning the manner of our Deaths get a Sword pointed sharp at both ends and when we are to dye put one end of the Sword through this grate and just when you set your heart to the end towards you I will set mine to the end towards me and thrusting forward as to meet each other the several points will make several passages or wounds into our several or rather our own united hearts and so we dye just together Lord Melancholy I shall follow your advice and be here to morrow at the time Which time will seem to me like as an Age Till that our Souls be fled forth from their Cage Lady Perfection My Soul will fly your Soul to imbrace And after Death may hope a resting place Exeunt ACT V. Scene 34. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You here the match is concluded betwixt the Emperors Daughter and our Prince 2 Gent. Yes and I hear that the Lord Dorato was a great Instrument to help the match forward 1 Gent. Methinks they should need no other Instrument to forward the match than the Princes interest 2 Gent. 'T is true but the Princes affection being placed upon another Lady it was hard first to draw off those affections and then to place them anew besides the Death of his Neece was some hinderance 1 Gent. All great Princes doe soon cast off all Funeral sadness but the Lord Dorato methinks takes the Death of his Daughter to heart 2 Gent. 'T is a doubt whether he will continue in such great favour with the Prince now his Neece is dead 1 Gent. There is no likelyhood he should be in less favour since the Princess Death for it was the favour he had with the Princess that caused the match with his Son besides he hath left a Son which the Prince no doubt will favour the Grandfather the more for the Childes sake 2 Gent. I wonder whether the Lord Melancholy the Princesses Husband will marry again for he had ill fortune with his Wives 1 Gent. Methinks he hath had good Fortune for the Laws have quitted him of one and Death of the other but that Husband hath ill fortune that neither Law nor Death will free him from Exeunt Scene 35. Enter the Lord Melancholy at the Grate the Curtains open and appears the Lady Perfection he takes the Sword out of the sheath LOrd Melancholy Sweet here 's that will quit us of all trouble Lady Perfection Indeed life is a trouble and nothing is at rest but what lyes in the grave Lord Melancholy Are you not affraid of the sight of a murthering Sword Lady Perfection No more than you are affraid of the sight of the glorious Sun Lord Melancholy You seem to have a courage above you Sex Lady Perfection My love is above Life as far as my Courage is beyond Fear I neither fear Death nor consider Life but can imbrace the one and fling away the other for Loves sake Lord Melancholy Then dear Wife for so you are my heart did never own another I wish our breaths and bloods might intermix together and as Deaths Ceremonies might joyn our Souls Whilst he speaks he puts one end of the Sword through the Grate she takes hold of it Lady Perfection They 'r joyned already by love and Death's sufficient to bring them both together and our bloods 't is like will run in trickling streams upon this Sword to meet and intermix Whilst he holds the Sword in one hand he unbuttons his Doublet with the other hand so she unties her Cord about her Gown Lord Melancholy These Buttons are like troublesome guests at
be dispersed for the search of it and if it should be lost then there must seem to be more lamentation for it than if the Enemy had given us an intire defeat or else we shall have frowns instead of preferments 2 Gent. The truth is I wonder the General will trouble himself with his wife when it is the only time a married man hath to enjoy a Mistriss without jealousy a spritely sound wench that may go along without trouble with bag and baggage to wash his linnen and make his field Bed and attend to his call when a wife requires more attendance than Centries to watch the Enemy 3 Gent. For my part I wonder as much that any man should be so fond of his wife as to carry her with him for I am only glad of the VVars because I have a good pretence to leave my wife behind me besides an Army is a quiet solitary place and yields a man a peaceable life compared to that at home for what with the faction and mutiny amongst his Servants and the noise the women make for their tongues like as an Alarum beat up quaters in every Corner of the House that a man can take no rest besides every day he hath a set Battel with his wife and from the Army of her angry thoughts she sends forth such vollies of words with her Gunpowder anger and the fire of her fury as breaks all the ranks and files of content and puts happiness to an utter rout so as for my part I am forced to run away in discontent although some Husbands will stay and fight for the Victory 4 Gent. Gentlemen Gentlemen pray condemn not a man for taking his lawfull delight or for ordering his private affairs to his own humour every man is free to himself and to what is his as long as he disturbs not his Neighbours nor breaks the Peace of the Kingdome nor disorders the Common-wealth but submits to the Laws and obeys the Magistrates without dispute besides Gentlemen 't is no crime nor wonder for a man to let his wife go along with him when he goeth to the Wars for there hath been examples for Pompey had a wife with him and so had Germanicus and so had many great and worthy Heroicks and as for Alexander the great he had a wife or two with him besides in many Nations men are not only desired but commanded by the Chiefs to let their wives go with them and it hath been a practice by long Custome for women to be spectators in their Battels to encourage their fights and so give fire to their Spirits also to attend them in their Sicknesses to clense their wounds to dress their meat and who is fitter than a wife what other woman will be so lovingly carefull and industriously helpfull as a wife and if the Greekes had not left their wives behind them but had carried them along to the Trojan Wars they would not have found such disorders as they did at their return nor had such bad welcome home as witness Agamemnons besides there have been many women that have not only been Spectators but Actors leading Armies and directing Battels with good success and there have been so many of these Heroicks as it would be tedious at this time to recount besides the examples of womens courage in Death as also their wise conduct and valiant actions in Wars are many and pray give me leave to speak without your being offended thereat it is not Noble nor the part of a Gentleman to censure condemn or dispraise another mans private actions which nothing concerns him especially when there is so gallant a subject to discourse of as the discipline and actions of these Wars we are entring into 1 Gent. Introth Sir you have instructed us so well and have chid us so handsomely as we are sorry for our errour and ask pardon for our fault and our repentance shall be known by that we will never censure so again Exeunt ACT II. Scene 5. Enter Captain Whiffell and Madam Whiffell his Wife CAptain Whiffell I have heard our Generals Lady goeth with the General her Husband to the Wars wherefore I think it fit for the rest of the Commanders if it were only for policy to let our General see that we approve of his actions so well as to imitate him in ours carrying our Wives along with us besides the Generals Lady cannot chose but take it kindly to have our Wives wait upon her wherefore Wife it is fit you should go Madam Whiffell Alas Husband I am so tender that I am apt to catch cold if the least puff of wind do but blow upon me wherefore to ly in the open Fields will kill me the first Night if not the very journey will shatter my small bones to peeces Captain Whiffell Why our Generals Lady is a very fine young Lady and she ventures to go Madam Whiffell There let her venture for you must excuse me for I will stay at home go you where you please Captain Whiffell Well VVife consider it Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Captain Ruffell and his Wife Madam Ruffell CAptain Ruffell VVife prepare your self to follow the Army for 't is now the fashion for VVives to march wherefore pack up and away Madam Ruffell VVhat with a Knapsack behind me as your Trull not I for I will not disquiet my rest with inconveniences nor divert my pleasures with troubles nor be affrighted with the roring Cannons nor indanger my life with every Potgun nor be frozen up with Cold nor stew'd to a gelly with heat nor be powdered up with dust untill I come to be as dry as a Neats-tongue besides I will not venture my Complexion to the wroth of the Sun which will tan me like a Sheeps skin Captain Ruffell Faith VVife if you will not go I will have a Landery-Maid to ride in my VVaggon and ly in my Tent Madam Ruffell Prethee Husband take thy Kitching Maid along too for she may have as much Grease about her as will serve to make Sope to wash your Linnen with and while you ride with your Landery-Maid in your Waggon I will ride with my Gentleman-Usher in my Coach Captain Ruffell Why Wife it is out of love that I would have thee go Madam Ruffell And 't is out of love that I will stay at home besides do you think I mean to follow your Generals Lady as a common Trooper doth a Commander to feed upon her reversions to wait for her favour to watch for a smile no no I will be Generalissimo my self at home and distribute my Colours to be carried in the Hats of those that will fight in my quarrel to keep or gain the Victory of my favour and love Captain Ruffell So I may chance to be a Cuckhold before I return home Madam Ruffell You must trust to Fortune for that and so I wish you a good Journey Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Seigneur Valeroso and his friend Monsieur la Hardy to
Gentlemen Doll Pascify Gentlemen would you speak with me Monsieur la Gravity Yes for we desire you will help us to the honour of kissing your Ladyes hands thereon to offer our service Doll Pacify Sir you must excuse me for the Sign of VVidowhood is not as yet hung out Mourning is not on nor the scutcheons are not hung over the Gate but if you please to come two or three dayes hence I may do you some service but now it will be to no purpose to tell my Lady for I am sure she will receive no visits Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General and many Commanders Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur le Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort and divers Gentlemen Messengers Servants Officers and others Lady Victoria and many Heroicks Lady Jantils Lady Passionate Doll Pacify Nell Careless City Wives and others THE SECOND PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOll Pacify Good Master Priest go comfort my old Lady Doctor Comfort If you will Comfort me I will strive to Comfort her Doll Pacify So we shall prove the Crums of Comfort Doctor Comfort But is my Lady so sad still Doll Pacify Faith to day she hath been better than I have seen her for she was so patient as to give order for Blacks but I commend the young Lady Madam Iantil who bears out the Siege of Sorrow most Couragiously and on my Conscience I believe will beat grief from the fort of her heart and become victorious over her misfortunes Doctor Comfort Youth is a good Souldier in the Warfare of Life and like a valiant Cornet or Ensign keeps the Colours up and the Flag flying in despite of the Enemies and were our Lady as young as Madam Iantil she would grieve less but to lose an old Friend after the loss of a young Beauty is a double nay a trible affliction because there is little or no hopes to get another good Husband for though an old woman may get a Husband yet ten thousand to one but he will prove an Enemy or a Devill Doll Pacify It were better for my Lady if she would marry again that her Husband should prove a Devill than a Mortal Enemy for you can free her from the one though not from the other for at your words the great Devil will avoid or vanish and you can bind the lesser Devils in Chains and whip them with holy Rods untill they rore again Doctor Comfort Nay we are strong enough for the Devil at all times and in all places neither can he deceive us in any shape unless it be in the shape of a young Beauty and then I confess he overcomes us and torments our hearts in the fire of love beyond all expression Doll Pacify If I were a Devil I would be sure to take a most beautifull shape to torment you but my Lady will torment me if I stay any longer here Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Sir you being newly come from the Army pray what news 2 Gent. I suppose you have heard how our Army was forced to fight by the Enemies provocations hearing the Lord General lay sick whereupon the Generals Lady the Lady Victoria caused her Amazonians to march towards the Masculine Army and to entrench some half a mile distance therefrom which when the Masculine Army heard thereof they were very much troubled thereat and sent a command for them to retreat back fearing they might be a disturbance so a destruction unto them by doing some untimely or unnecessary action but the Female Army returned the Masculine Army an Answer that they would not retreat unless they were beaten back which they did believe the Masculine Sex would not having more honour than to fight with the Female Sex but if the men were so base they were resolved to stand upon their own defence but if they would let them alone they would promise them upon the honour of their words not to advance any nearer unto the Masculine Army as long as the Masculine Army could assault their Enemies or defend themselves and in this posture I left them Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Victoria and her Heroickesses LAdy Victoria Noble Heroickesses I have intelligence that the Army of Reformations begins to flag wherefore now or never is the time to prove the courage of our Sex to get liberty and freedome from the Female Slavery and to make our selves equal with men for shall Men only sit in Honours chair and Women stand as waiters by shall only Men in Triumphant Chariots ride and Women run as Captives by shall only men be Conquerors and women Slaves shall only men live by Fame and women dy in Oblivion no no gallant Heroicks raise your Spirits to a noble pitch to a deaticall height to get an everlasting Renown and infinite praises by honourable but unusual actions for honourable Fame is not got only by contemplating thoughts which lie lasily in the Womb of the Mind and prove Abortive if not brought forth in living deeds but worthy Heroickesses at this time Fortune desires to be the Midwife and if the Gods and Goddesses did not intend to favour our proceedings with a safe deliverance they would not have offered us so fair and fit an opportunity to be the Mothers of glorious Actions and everlasting Fame which if you be so unnatural to strangle in the Birth by fearfull Cowardize may you be blasted with Infamy which is worse than to dye and be forgotten may you be whipt with the torturing tongues of our own Sex we left behind us and may you be scorned and neglected by the Masculine Sex whilst other women are preferred and beloved and may you walk unregarded untill you become a Plague to your selves but if you Arm with Courage and fight valiantly may men bow down and worship you birds taught to sing your praises Kings offer up their Crowns unto you and honour inthrone you in a mighty power May time and destiny attend your will Fame be your scribe to write your actions still And may the Gods each act with praises fill All the women Fear us not fear us not we dare and will follow you wheresoever and to what you dare or will lead us be it through the jawes of Death THE PRAYER Lady Victoria GReat Mars thou God of War grant that our Squadrons may like unbroaken Clouds move with intire Bodyes let Courage be the wind to drive us on and let our thick swell'd Army darken their Sun of hope with black despair let us powre down showers of their blood to quench the firy flames of our revenge And where those showers fall their Deaths as seeds Sown in times memory sprout up our deeds And may our Acts Triumphant gat lands make Which Fame may wear for our Heroicks sake Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOctor Comfort Doll how doth our Lady since the burying of my Patron Doll Pacify
of War and the warring women the General told them he made no question but that most men knew by experience that women were won by gentle perswasions and fair promises and not by rigid actions or angry frowns besides said he all noble natures strive to assist the weakest in all lawfull actions and that he was no gallant man that submits not to a woman in all things that are honourable and when he doth dissent it must be in a Courtly manner and a Complemental behaviour and expression for that women were Creatures made by nature for men to love and admire to protect and defend to cherish and maintain to seek and to sue to and especially such women which have out-done all their Sex which nature ever made before them wherefore said he 't is fit to these women above all others we should yield our selves Prisoners not only in love but in Arms wherefore let us treat fairly with them and give them their own conditions But in the mean time the Lady Victoria thought it best not to lose my opportunity with talking out the time wherefore she besieged a considerable Fort a place which was at it were the Key that unlockt the passage into the heart of the Enemies Kingdome and at this siege they were when became away but the General and his Council had sent a Messenger unto them but what his message was I cannot give you an account Exeunt Scene 6. Enter two men in Mourning 1 MAn Now my Lord is Intombed our Lady will enanchor her self by his Ashe 2 Man 'T is strange so young and beautifull a Lady should bury her self from the World and quit all the pleasures thereof to live with dead Ashes 1 Man A grieved Mind Melancholy Thoughts and an Oppressed Heart considers not the Body nor the World 2 Man But yet I think 't is an example that few of her Sex will imitate 1 Man Because few of the Female Sex can truly Grieve or be Melancholy 2 Man No it is that few of the Female Sex can truly and constantly Love Exeunt Scene 7. The Tomb being thrust on the Stage enter Madam Jantil and a Company of Mourners but the Lady Jantil was attired in a Garment of rich Cloth of gold girt loosly about her and a Mantle of Crimson Velvet lined with powdered Ermins over that her woman bearing up the Train thereof being long her Hair all unbound hung loose upon her Shoulders and Back upon her Head a rich Crown of Iewels as also Pendant Iewels in her Ears and on her Wrists costly Bracelets when she came in she goeth towards the Tomb and bows with great respect and devotion thereto thou speaks directing her speech to every several Figure These following Verses or Speeches were written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle Lady Iantil. Pallas and Mercury at thy Death mourned So as to marble Statues here th' are turned Mars sheaths his Sword and begs of thee a room To bury all his courage in thy Tomb Hymen amazed stands and is in doubt Thy Death his holy fier hath put out What various shape of Fortune thou didst meet Thou scorn'st her frowns and kicks he with thy feet Now sound aloud the Trumpet of good Fame And blow abroad his everlasting name After this she directs her speech to the outward figures about the Tomb The Cardinal Virtues Pillars of thy fame Weep to see now each but an empty name Only for Painters and for Carvers be When thy life sustain'd them more than they Thee Each Capital a sadder Virtue bears But for the Graces would be drowned in tears Faith strengthens Fortitude lest she should faint Hope comforts Prudence as her only Saint And Charity to Justice doth advance To Counsel her as Patience Temperance But wofull Counsellors they are each one Since grief for thy Death turn'd them all to stone Then putting off her rich Garments and Ornaments before mentioned as she was undressing she spake thus Now I depose my self and here lay down Titles not Honour with my richer Crown This Crimson Velvet Mantle I throw by There case and plenty in rich Ermins lie Off with this glittring Gown which once did bear Ambition and fond pride ly you all there Bracelets and Pendants which I now do wear Here I devest my Arms and so each Ear Cut off these dangling Tresses once a crime Urging my Glass to look away my time Thus all these Worldly vanities I wave And bury them all in my Husbands grave After this she calls for her other Garments which was a pure white light silk loose Garment girt about her with a white silk Cord and then puts on a thin black Veil over it and then takes a Book in her hand but speaks as they were a putting on those latter Garments More of my Lord Marquesses are these Lady Iantel Put on that pure and spotless garment white To shew my chaster thoughts my Souls delight Cord of Humility about my waste A Veil of obscure Mourning about me cast Here by this sadder Tomb shall be my Station And in this Book my holy Contemplation She turns her self to her Servants Farewell my Servants farewell every one As you all love me pray leave me alone They all go forth weeping When they were all gone and she alone she turns her self to the Tomb No dust shall on thy marble ever stay But with my sadder sighs I le blow 't away And the least spot that any Pillar bears I le wash it clean with grief of dropping tears Sun fly this Hemisphaer and feast my Eyes With Melancholy night and never rise Nor by reflection for all light I hate Therefore no Planet do illuminate The twinkling Stars that in cold nights are seen Clouds muster up and hide them as a Screen The Centrick fire raise vapours from the Earth Get and be Midwife for those fogs their birth Then chilling colds freeze up thy pores without That trembling Earth-quakes no where may get out And that our Mother Earth may nothing wear But Snow and Icicles to curl her hair And so Dame Nature Barren nothing bring Wishing a Chaos since despairs a Spring Since all my joys are gone what shall I do But with the whole World ruined with me too Here ends my Lord Marquesses Verses Exeunt ACT III Scene 8. Enter the Lady Victoria and many of her Amazons then enters a Messenger from the Masculine Army MEssenger May it please your Excellence our Lord General and the rest of the Commanders have sent you and your Heroicks a Letter desiring it may be read in a full Assembly Lady Victoria One of you take the Letter and read it One of the women takes the Letter and reads it to all the Company THE LETTER To the most Excellent of her Sex and her most worthy Heroickesses YOu Goddesses on Earth who have the power and dominion over men 't is you we worship and adore we pray and implore your better opinions of us than to believe we are so unjust
spake before there 1 Gent. VVhere 2 Gent. VVhy in the Academy 1 Gent. VVhy I am sure I heard one Lady speak yesterday and another to day 2 Gent. Ladies I mean the Academy of men 1 Gent. VVhy do the men intend to speak 2 Gent. Yes presently if they have not done speaking already Exeunt Scene 6. Enter a Company of young men as in the Room next to the Ladies one takes the Chair GEntleman Speaker Gentlemen we need no Learned Scholars nor Grave Sages to propound the Theam of our discourse in this place and at this time for our minds are so full of thoughts of the Female Sex as we have no room for any other Subject or Object wherefore let the Theam be what it will our discourses will soon run on them but if we could bring women as easily into our arms as into our brains and had we as many Mistresses in our possessions as we have in our imaginations we should be much more happy than we are Nay had we been blind deaf and insensible to the Sex we had been happy unlesse that Sex had been more kinder than they are but they are cruel which makes men miserable but Nature had made Beauty in vain if not for the use of the Masculine Sex wherfore Nature forbids restraint and 't is a sin against Nature for women to be Incloystred Retired or restrained Nay it is not only a sin against Nature but a grievous sin against the Gods for women to live single lives or to vow Virginity for if women live Virgins there will be no Saints for Heaven nor worship nor Adoration offred to the Gods from Earth for if all women live Virgins the Race of Mankind will be utterly extinguished and if it be a general sin to live Virgins no particular can be exempted and if it be lawfull for one to live a Virgin it is lawfull for all so if it be unlawfull for one it is unlawfull for all but surely the Gods would not make any thing lawful that were against themselves But to conclude those women which restrain themselves from the company and use of men are damned being accused by Men judged by Nature and condemned by the Gods Exeunt Scene 7. Enter two Gentlewomen 1 GEntlewoman What say you will you go into the Academy 2 Gent. No faith I mean not to be damned 1 Gent. I am of your mind I will run unto the men to save me 2 Gent. So will I since the wayes of Salvation are so easie and so pleasant Exeunt Scene 8. Enter the Academy of Ladies and the Grave Matronnesse The Lady that is to speak takes a Chair MAtron Lady let the Theam of your discourse be at this time on the behaviour of our Sex Lady Speaker It is a greater difficulty for a woman to behave her self discreetly in private Visitations than for a man to speak wisely in privy Councels and it is a greater difficulty for a woman to behave her self wel in a publick Assembly than for a man to speak eloquently in a publick Auditory and it is a greater difficulty for a woman to behave her self well to several Persons and in several Assemblies than for a man to behave himself gallantly in several Battels and as much dishonour comes in the misbehaviour of the one as the cowardlinesse of the other VVherefore there requires as much skill care and conduct in a womans behaviour in visiting entertaining placing applying and discoursing as to a Commander in Mustering Training Intrenching Besieging Inbattelling Fighting and Retreating for it is not enough for a woman to behave her self according to her Degree Quality Dignity Birth and Breeding Age Beauty Wit and Fortune But according to Time Place and Occasion Businesse and Affairs as also to the Humours Capacities Professions Dignities Qualities Births Breedings Fortunes Ages and Sexes of those persons she is in Company and Conversation withall Also in mixt Companies she must have a mixt behaviour and mixt discourses as sometimes to one then to another according as she can handsomely and civilly apply or addresse her self and to those that apply and addresse themselves to her for a woman must not behave her self or discourse unto a great Lord or Prince as to a Peasant or to a Peasant as to a great Lord or Prince nor to a Souldier as to a Divine nor to a Divine as to a Souldier nor to a States-man as to a Tradesman nor to a Tradesman as to a States-man nor to a Flattering Gallant as to a Grave Senior nor to a Grave Senior as to a Flattering Gallant nor to a young man as to an antient man nor to a Boy as to a man nor to a woman as to a man nor to a Poet as to a woman or as to those men that understand not Poetry nor to learned men as to ignorant men Also an antient Grave Matron must not behave her self like a wanton young Girl nor a Wife like a Maid nor a Widow like a VVife nor a Mother like her Daughter nor a Mistriss like her Servant nor a Servant like a Mistriss nor a great Lady like a Country wise nor a Country wife like a great Lady for that would be ridiculous Indeed it is easier for a middle Rank or Degree at least it is oftner seen to behave themselves better than those of high Titles and great Estates or those of a very mean Condition and of low Birth for the one is apt to err with excessive pride the other with an excessive rudenesse both being bold and ignorantly bred knowing not how to be civil nor what belongs to civil Persons for the pride of the one scorns to be instructed and the poverty of the other hath not means to keep and pay Instructers for the excesse of Plenty nussles the one in Ignorance and excesse of Poverty blindfolds the other from knowledge but to conclude of the behaviour of women first as to the generality they must behave themselves civily and circumspectly to particulars modestly and friendly for the chief Principals of behaviour are twelve six good and six bad the six good are Ceremony Civility Modesty Humility Friendship and Obedience The first is Majestical and Magnificent the second Noble the third Virtuous the fourth Humane the fift Generous the sixt Pious The first is Gracefull the second Sociable the third Delightfull the fourth Natural the fift Helpfull the sixt Necessary The first belongs to Dignity the second to Breeding the third to Youth the fourth to Age the fift to Wealth the sixt to Peace As for the six bad Principals is to be Proud Bold Rude Wanton Disobedient and Cruel The first is Insolent the second Impudent the third Ignorant the fourth Brutish the fift Unnatural the sixt Wicked The first lives with mean Births joined with good Fortune the second lives with ignorant doltish Spirits the third with base Breeding the fourth with Beasts the fift with uncivil Nations the sixt with Atheists The first is to be Slighted the