me like a dead man in the caue of obscurity My soule is highly greeued within mee and mine heart is astonished like vnto his who walking with an erected countenance is by misfortune fallen into the bottome of some pit his sences are forth-with troubled he forthwith loseth his reason and torments himselfe hee knowes not what to will or do till calling his wits together he takes notice of the place where he is and the maner how he fell downe for then hee begins by little and little to get vp againe and to climbe with great labour from the place whereinto hee easily fell 5. Euen so I hauing called to memory from farre the remembrance of things past and representing to my selfe in a deepe meditation the workes of thine hands and considering exactly the things which thou hast wrought namely remembring the state wherein thou diddest create vs and then calling to minde that wherein I finde my selfe now as it were crusht downe in the ruines of sinne I curse the houre wherein my mother conceiued mee I detest the daye which first opened mine eye-liddes to cause mee to looke vppon heauen and earth the witnesses of my weaknesse and at last finding nothing in this world which can comfort mee in this distresse I come againe vnto thee 6. I fall downe on my knees before thee I lift vppe vnto thee mine armes and hands and my soule thirsteth after thy grace with as great a desire as the earth gaping with heate waiteth for a pleasing shower of raine in the hottest time of summer 7. Runne then hastily vnto me ô my God for I am already out of breath my courage faileth and loe I fall fainting downe wilt thou tarry till I am dead I am so already if thou make not the more hast for my sences faile by little and little my soule slideth sweetly out of my body leauing it without motion and I am like vnto him who is let bloud in his foote in hot water whose life runnes out with his bloud not feeling the cause of his death 8. Now ô Lord if thou keepest thy selfe farre from me turning thy countenance away I shall become like vnto those who goe downe into the bottome of the graue pale death will discolour my visage and benum my sences and that which is worsse spirituall death ô my God will kill my soule will fill it with feare and horror and bereaue it of the knowledge of thy singular goodnesse and the hope of grace which shineth in thy wonders like a glistering star in an obscure night 9. Cause me then betimes to vnderstand and feele the effects of thy mercy and in the morning when the sunne shall arise vpon the earth let thy clemency rise vpon me to enlighten mine ignorance and to direct mee in the way of thy commandements But let it not doe ô Lord like thy Sunne who at the end of his race plungeth it selfe in the sea hiding his light for a time from poore mortalls but let it perpetually assist me let it bee no more seperated from mee then my soule from my body for thy mercy is far more the soule of my soule then my soule is the life of my body 10. Let it not then leaue me let the brightnesse thereof still direct my pathes in thy waies let it still guide mee in the way which I must walke to come vnto thee For my spirit which hath throwne it selfe into the middest of the briers of this world which hath gonne astray amongest her thickest bushes can no more finde out her right way but walking at all aduentures loseth both her way and her labour going still back-wards from the place whether shee thought to arriue But my GOD I still waite for thy helpe I hope for succour from an high 11. I am prisoner in the hands of the cruellest enemies of my life make hast ô Lord to deliuer mee thou art my refuge receiue mee into thy protection teach mee what thou wouldest haue mee to doe for thou art my God vnto whome onely I now resolue my selfe to doe seruice Away far far from mee deceitfull pleasure which hereto fore diddest bewitch my soule and poyson my mind thou hast by thy lickorish delights inueigled me and with a little honney thou hast made me swallow a most bitter and deadly pill which spredding it selfe thorow my members hath in such sort mortified and made me giddy as there is small difference betwixt mee and a dead person and my body is not only thus mortified but my soule likewise wherein consisteth the originall of my life present and to come 12. It behooueth then thine holy spirit to come vnto me to warme againe my dying soule to take it by the hand to leade it into safety and to quicken it imprinting in it the image of thy righteousnesse which may defend it against the temptation which on eueryside doth beseege it and threaten her ruine 13. Thou wilt come then and at thine arriuall thou shalt draw my soule out of trouble and in shewing mercy vnto me thou shalt destroy all those which haue conspired against me Then shall my greefe haue an end and theirs beginne it shal be a beginning of their forrow which shall neuer end but as riuers rising out of their springs run on stil bigger bigger vntill they fall into the bosome of the sea which hath no bottome euen so shall their miseries encrease and at the last shall heape vpon them extreame torments and infinite distresse In this manner shall all those perish which vex my soule for ô GOD I am thy faithfull seruant whome thou hast remembred and thou wilt not forget those who in disdaine of my Lord haue so shamefully abused me they laughed at my misery but the time drawes on when they shall bewayle their owne Thy vengeance begins to bee kind bee against them and they shall wither like leaues vpon the trees at the approach of winter O GOD what glory shall I giue vnto thy name and how shall I beginne to declare thy praise shall I publish thy goodnesse in the creation of so many wonderfull workes which are vnderneath the sun thy wisedome in thy preseruation of them shall I preach thy Iustice in the condemnation and punishment of the pride of the Angels and disobedience of men Shall I sing of thy mercy in the redemption of those who offending thy lawe had throwne themselues head-long into the bondage of eternall death to what part of thy prayses may the humble sound of my voyce attaine and though my voyce were able what eares are capable to receiue it All things faile mee ô Lord in this businesse except courage and will which full of feruent affection doe crye out vnto thee Ayde with thy grace their weake strength and seeing the teares of my penitence haue washed away the filth of sinne wherewith my soule was heauily loden giue it now the winges of faith and hope which may carry it with a swift flight into thine armes to reunite
Their miserie hangs ouer their head misfortunes follow them at euery steppe vntill they haue throwne them head-long into that gulph the onely thought whereof is fearefull to all those which do remember it whose easiest places of retreate are full of cryes groanings and lamentations Where paine is without end griese without remedie repentance without mercy where death is immortall the body liuing but to dye and the soule to suffer where the soule feeles nothing but her sinne and the body but his punishment On the contrary those which couer themselues with the Lords fauour which make his mercy their buckler who haue no other hope but in his goodnesse who follow his comandements and are iealous of his will and pleasure what felicitie is there but they may attaine to what precious thing is there in heauen but shall bee opened vnto them They shall sitte side by side with their God and beeing enuironed with glory so much happinesse shall be heaped vpon them as the soule of man is not able to conceiue the least part thereof much lesse can my barren tongue expresse it 14. I will then reioyce ô my God in the hope of such and so many benefits as thou reseruest in heauen to crowne the iust withall Vnto this ioy I inuite you all which trust to the wordes of our Sauiour which loue iustice and righteousnesse there doth the reward of your labours attend you there you shall be placed in honor and glory there shall you exchange the sharpe thornes of this world for flourishing Lillies of all eternity Oh then shall the sweate of your afflictions finde most sweete rest Gold comes not forth of the flames in the Furnace more pure and shining to bee stamped with the Image of a great Prince and then to serue for the adornment of some rich cabinet as the hart of that man which loueth his God shall be drawne pure and cleane from the miseries of this world to be inuironed with splendor and glory What day can now displease mee in this world who shall hinder and stay me from entring into the howse of the Lord for to liue in his seruice vpon what day of my life shall I ceasse from bewailing those sinnes which kept me forth of his fauor vnite then in me ô my God these two contrary passions ioy and repentance to the end that like as the pilgrim who hath lost his way in a desert reioyceth when hee beholds the dawning of the day and yet for all that cannot forget the obscure darkenesse out of the which hee is yet scarce come nor lay aside his feare of so troublesome a night euen so haue I alwayes abhorred my sinnes past and haue neuerthelesse a certaine and liuely hope to enioy that eternall happinesse which thou hast purchased for vs by the price of the bloud of thy deere Sonne Iesus Christ. Alas how great is this loue when the Maister spareth not the life of his childe to redeeme his seruant Beeing then formed by thy hand redeemed by thy bloud and purified by thy mercy I offer my selfe vnto thee for a sacrifice of obedience reiect mee not ô my God Domine ne in furore Psalme 37. O Lord I must needs returne againe vnto thee and begin a new to implore thy mercy for thine anger seemeth to bee newly kindled against mee Alas my God wilt thou punish mee in thy wrath and cause me to feele the violence of thy iust furie which my sinnes haue stirred vp against me the torch consumed by fire falleth into ashes and I being deuoured by the heate of thine indignation shall vanish away and nothing will be left of me but onely smoake 2. For I see ô my God that thou hast let fly the sharpest arrowes of thy vengeance vpon mee thou hast touched mee with thine hand and thou takest it not of from me I feele remorse and terror in my conscience which doe astonish and bruze me like flashes of lightning and claps of thunder miseries come vnto me by heapes and one mishappe brings on another warre is no sooner ended but the plague assaileth mee and dâ—ath at the last bereaues mee of the deerest pledges which I haue in this world In what then ô my GOD shall I take comfort shall it bee in my selfe 3 Alasse there is no whole member about mee the disease hath pearced euen to the marrow of my bones there is no part about mee but doth reproch me for my sinnes and endures the punishment thereof I languish in my sorrow and no man comforts mee myne eyes serue mee for none other purpose but to behold my misery and my soule but to acknowledge my misfortune 4. I looke round about mee and as much as the eyes of my body and soule can discerne of the time past I see nothing aboue beneath nor on each side of me but sinne which compasseth me about and mine iniquites which crush and presse me downe they are heaped vpon my head like an heauy burthen and behold they smother me 5. How shall I resist them what strength haue I to defend my selfe seeing that my body falleth in peeces corruption runnes from it on euery side mysoares are no sooner shut but they open againe and if my body bee ill my soule is much worsse it is all confounded and trembleth for feare 6. And as sicknesse vndermines my body which is ready to die euen so doth sorrow my soule and steales away the strength thereof and as a sharp cold doth freeze and wither the tender new bud in the blosome euen so doth the finger of the Lord which hath touched my soule discourage it and make it to languish 7. But Alasse my God! what courage can I haue when I behold my selfe couered with wounds and that there is no part of my body free from greefe and that besides my disease my licentious pleasures present them-selues before me which reproch my sinne and deride my vanity I say to my selfe must I needs dippe my life in the honney of so many delights to steepe it afterwards in the gall of such bitter anguish where art thou now ô deceitful voluptuousnes which diddest melt my soule in the sweere licour of thy pleasures ô what a draught dost thou now leaue mee 8 Now ô Lord haue I not endured enough hath not my humility sufficiently chasticed my pride if I haue sinned thorow foolish presumption I haue since then fallen vpon the ground and couered mine head with ashes with mine owne arme I haue preuented my punishment I haue cleft my hart with cries and melted mine eies into teares and yet thy wrath continewes 9 It may be ô Lord that thou hast not perceued my laments thou who in the twinckling of an eye lookest thorow heauen and earth whose sight pearceth the very bottom of our hearts ô LORD thou hast read my thoughts and knowest mine intents what haue I craued but thy mercy wherein did I hope but in thy goodnesse wherefore haue I made a publicke profession of
graue A graue in deed too happy for mee if so small a pitte may bee able to stay the violent course of mine extreame misery 5. Hee that hath seene the mowed grasse to turne coulor and wither in the field let him looke vpon my pale and leane visage which seemeth to make death it selfe afraid Mine heart waxeth drie in the midest of my intrailes my bloud withereth within my veines for I no more remember to giue bread to my mouth and euery day I forget to eate meate 6. My mouth serueth me for none other vse but to crie out and lament and the vsuall voice of my sorrow is of such force as it carries away with it all the remainder of my strength so as my sorrowfull body doth by little and little consume it selfe and my boanes doe already pierce my skinne why then should I bee carefull to pamper this wretched body which is the subiect of my miseries wherefore should I study to preserue this life which wrestleth with so many discontents and is tormented with so many afflictions were it not better for mee by ending my life to giue an end to my miseries 7. The Pellican which in the most solitarie deserts of Aegipt torments her selfe for killing her yong ones and bathes them with her bloud to restore them to life which shee berest them of is shee more sorrowfull then I dooth shee feele more griese then my selfe hath not my sinne procured the death of that child whom I loued better then my selfe and now that all my teares are drawne dry bloud will gush foorth of mine eyes for feare that weeping should faile mee in such a lamentable misfortune But the Pellican with the price of her bloud redeemes the life of her yong ones and my wretched self shal for euer bee depriued of that child whom I so deerely loued Therefore will I abandon the light of the day and will confine my selfe in the thick darknesse like vnto the fatall Owle which stirreth not foorth of some hollow place vntill the night hath spred his obscure mantle ouer the earth 8. I am continually awake alwayes rauing vpon my mishap and seeking to hide my selfe from the miserie which followes me apace I seeke nothing so much as some corner to bestow my selfe in like to the wilde Sparrow who beaten with the winde and raine searcheth out some place of couert to keepe her from the storme 9. Mine enemies seeing me in this plight haue derided mee they haue reproched mee with my misery and those which were wont highly to esteeme mee in steed of bewailing mine afflictiō haue conspired against mee Of what worth then are the goods of this world if friends bee the most pretious richesse that a man can purchase and if they prooue treacherous and disloyall and make so small account of violating their faith 10. My strength is indeed diminished the floure of my complexion is withered for I haue strewed my bread with ashes I haue tempered my drinke with teares but therfore shal this vnbeleeuing race make mee the argument of their laughter 11. It is true that I met with thine angrie countenance in the day of thy wrath thou hast laide on mee the arme of thy vengeance it hath crusht mee to peeces I was glorious among men and behold I am now cast downe to the ground O vaine presumption vnto what height hast thou raised mee to giue mee so terrible a downefall Alas what matter could I finde in my selfe that might beget such a selfe-conceit in mee 12. Euen as wee see the shaddow of a body to decrease by little and little when as the sunne stands right ouer it and at last becometh a small point in like manner so soone as thy wrath did ascend ouer mee ô Lord my life my wealth and my greatnesse did consume away by little and little in such sort as I seeme like to the withered haye without sap and beauty it is gathered for the fodder of cattell and so many faire sweet and odoriferous flowers are made vp in bottels among weedes and thistles 13. But shall I therefore despaire not so my God for thy power is infinite and lasteth for euer thy mercy is immense which spreds it selfe ouer all those which trust in thee Ages shall passe away one after an other but the memory of thy goodnesse shall neuer haue end for euer one generation shall succeed an other and they shall continually set forth thy praise and louing kindnesse 14. Thou wilt one day awake ô my God and shew fauor vnto Sion for the time of mercy is at hand It is already come behold I see it The riuers send not so many cleere waters into the large bozome of the Ocean as thy goodnesse shall shed foorth fauours and mercies vppon the earth Open your hearts oh yee people open your hearts for the liberall hand of my GOD will fill them with an holy heate which shall cleanse and purifie them more then gold is in the furnace 15. Now the building of Sion is ô Lord the refuge which thy seruants waite for that it may become the dwelling place of eternall life the seate of saluation the treasury of grace and the temple of eternitie 16. Then my God shall the nations bee astonished and all the Kings of the earth shall tremble at the brightnesse of thy glory What remotest corner is there in the world but shall resound thy happy comming what people are there vnder the sunne so confined in darkenesse but will open their eyes to behold the glistering brightnesse of saluation which shall shine vpon them Heauen it selfe shall encrease the number of his torches to giue light to this thine entrie into the world and Kings shall runne from all parts to doe homage to the King of Kings and to the Lord of Heauen and Earth 17. For in Syon hath hee erected his royall throne in magnificent and sumptuous manner there shall men behold him all enuironed with glory darkning the Sunne and Moone with the brightnesse of his countenance 18. But what is the cause ô Lord that thou hast so highly exalted the throne of thy glorie Is it because thou wilt contemne the humble prayers of thy faithfull seruants and neglect the whole world which is nothing in comparison of this thy greatnesse Alas not so my God Thou hast lifted vp thy selfe in an eminent place to the end that all the inhabitants of the earth may see and acknowledge thee to haue recourse to thy grace mercy for thou wilt be alwayes ready to come at the humble summons of thy seruants and thou wilt neuer scorne their pittifull requests Behold they are all set in order like poore galley slaues condemned to the chaine which waite for the arriuall of some King to set them at liberty on the day of his coronation In this manner ó Lord dooest thou deliuer those which haue giuen them-selues ouer to the bondage of sinne at the onely twinckling of thine eye their Irons shall fall from
heat which our sinne like a rotten vlcer hath in gendred in our consciences 8. Now seeing he is so good vnto vs denies vs nothing that wee aske him take heed I pray yee vnto your selues I speake vnto you on whom hee hath bestowed so many benefites whom he hath sanctified with his holy blessings whom he hath set apart to be his chosen and to be partakers of his loue Take heed least yee offend him by your vnthankfullnes and make your selues vnworthy of his benefits by a distrust and vnbeliefe of his goodnes For those which feare him neuer want any thing in fearing him they hope in him also they feare him with a louing feare with a feare not that hee will hurt them but with a feare to offend him or rather with a fatherly reuerence which makes him by so much the more the ready to doe vs good as wee are respectiue to demaund it For hee of himselfe knowes what is necessary for vs hee forthwith preuents our desires if they are not agreeable to his will and makes vs rich in the middest of our pouerty and valiant in the middest of our weaknesse 9. On the contrary hee doth not so to the rich worldlings whose wealth he hath not blessed for those men are needy in their riches starued in theyr aboundance their wealth melts into pouerty their magnificence vanisheth away into smoake and becomes like to a riuer whose spring-head is damn'd vp his channell remaines drie his bankes lose their greenesse and the trees planted thereon wither and fade But those which haue recourse vnto God and do not forsake him who referre all to his honor shall neuer want any good thing because the fountaine of all goodnesse which is the loue of GOD springeth in the middest of their soules and sheds it selfe abroad through all the parts of their body 10. Now in regard you see how much profit there is in fearing God how his feare is that which reconciles vs vnto him this reconciliation doth purchase vs his fauour doth encrease our felicity come vnto me and I wil teach you to feare him who like a good and mercifull father doth neuer deny his mercy vnto him which acknowledgeth his sin and is willing to returne into the way of well doing 11. Doe you desire to please him by that meanes to liue in his fauour which is as much to say as to liue happily and to passe your dayes in tranquillity of spirit and plenty of al things necessary for this mortall life and moreouer to walke apace in the way of this immortall life which tarrieth for vs after our departure hence In a word do yee desire his blessing which is as much to say as a firme and certaine prosperity which begetteth in vs a spirituall ioy which will keepe your heartes alwayes open to breath his honour and to vse with contentation the wealth which hee lends you in this world In a few wordes I will shew yee the way For I know wherein hee delighteth and which of our actions doe please him 12. The first thing that yee shall doe bridle your tongue that it vtter no wordes which may offend Gods honour nor vse sharp and bitter speeches Doe you see this little member how nice and tender it is yet neuerthelesse it is the helme of our life which steereth and turneth our minds on the same side as it selfe is turned For so soone once as it is filled with naughty and vitious speeches it carrieth the passions of our heart where they are conceiued vnto the depth of our vnderstanding and doth water it in such sort as it forthwith looseth the forme and figure of reason which God hath inspired into it doe you not see how a little sparke of fire burnes downe a whole building euen so the toung giues sin entry into vs brings him in deafely and spreading his fire abroad in our soule consumes in vs all matter of goodnesse Let vs then command our lippes to receiue nothing but the bare and simple truth and let lies and deceipt befor euer banished from vs. For if we shut vp the euill cogitations which may arise in our hearts not giuing them any vent they will in the end smother themselues like to a fire which hath no ayre 13. Let vs first of all then put farre from vs all deceipt and lying for the true praise which God expecteth from vs is that we imitate him as much as our nature will permitte Now hee is the God of truth and righteousnes who can neither loue nor cherish vs so long as lying which is his contrary shall dwell in vs. Secondly wee must fly from all sinne whatsoeuer to avoyde euill is the beginning of well doing and if God find vs empty of euill meaning hee will fill vs with good and will teach vs what wee ought to wish and procure Hee learneth vs that which wee ought chiefly to desire It is peace which hee will haue vs to wish for with all our hearts Peace first with him which is the heape of all goodnes the which we cannot haue vnles we yeeld him that obedience which we owe him Peace afterward amongst our selues without which we cannot obtaine his For hee hath commaunded vs to loue our neighbours as our selues but if we insteed thereof breath foorth nothing but blood and rapine what peace can wee haue with him whose lawes and commandements wee breake For warre and discord are the roots of vnrighteousnes and are abhominable before God 14. His eye which is this good and mercifull eye doth not looke but vppon the iust his light shines onely on them his wonders are wrought in theyr behalfe his eares are onely open to theyr prayers and we may properly say that his Iustice stands at his side which examineth the liues of such as present themselues before him and doth recommend vnto him the prayers of those that are of an vpright heart 15. As for those who take delight in doing euill he doth looke vpon them but it is with an eye kindled with fury whose beames are like arrowes of paine and misery which he shooteth into their soules filling them with feare and amazment with a thousand other mischeefs which he sends vnto them as the earnest of eternall torment which attends them He thinkes not on them but only how to root out their memory frō the face of the earth and by his iustice to wash out the spots of their polution for he hath a long time knowne their impenitent heart which hath insolently neglected his holy mercy 16. The Iust haue not done so for they returned vnto God in time and crying after his clemency they did at the last obtaine it they now inioy it as their portion he hath drawne them foorth of all the troubles wherein they were plunged hath couered them with his fauour as vnder a brazen wall so as no violent euil whatsoeuer is able to pearce through it 17. Truly god is good fauourable he is alwaies neere