all by whatever he gives he is still the same full of all blessedness and goodness always ready to distribute and give unto the necessity of the Saints never weary nor standing still yesterday to day and to morrow and for ever the same 50. Therefore to have much is to ask much ask and ye shall have that your joy may be full God doth not say or mean that we may or can be too bold that we may ask too much And to take away this scruple or doubt he promiseth that what ever we shall ask believingly in the name of Jesus Christ we shall receive if we open our mouths wide then we have his promise that he will fill them which implies that the way or means to have much is to ask much this holy Coveting and Ambition he is well pleased with and so good bountiful and free our God is that we cannot please him better than after what ever we have asked to believe that he will give us much more by much than we are able to ask or think whoever lacks Wisdom if he ask it of God he will give it liberally for he upbraids no man neither is he a respecter of persons having given us Jesus Christ his only Son the Son of his love and delight how shall he not with him give us all things 51. Surely surely seeing he hath and daily doth give us such things as these Himself his Son and holy Spirit we may be sure we shall as Abraham did be weary or leave asking or God will leave giving for weary he cannot be fit then thy self to be filled and I promise and assure thee who ever thou art thou shalt not be sent empty away what ever thy hunger and thirst be whatever thy coveting and ambition be thou shalt have to fill thee to satisfie thee yea over and above what ever thou canst ask or think believe for all things are possible yea easie for him to do 52. The life which delighteth the Lord and which he would have us to live is to live unto all holiness and godliness every day even as we would do if we knew it to be our last day yea to live every moment of the day all our days as if it were our very last moment 53. The death of the Righteous every one seemingly desires to dye but truly I may say of the most that thus say be they whoever they be that they know not well what they say because that perhaps not one of a thousand but denyes it in his deeds for the death of the Righteous in which the Lord delighteth as in their life and which honours him most even as a holy and godly that is God-like life doth I say this death of the Righteous is as I take it to dye daily yea every moment of the day to all sin even to all both great and small in thought in word and deed to dye thus is to honour glorifie and dignifie more the Lord than to dye any temporal death on the Rack in the flames of fire or to be buried alive c. 'T is not with these Ah not with these Sacrifices of our fleshly lives but with those Sacrifices of our Lusts Corruptions and sinful affections that God is well pleased refreshed as it were and delighted These Sacrifices send up sweet Odours in his Nostrils these are pretious in his eyes I thus thus doubtless it is that the death of the Saints are pretious in the eyes of the Lord to put to death those cruel ones those Enemies of our Eternal life of our souls salvation that put to death the Lord of life and glory himself in his manhood this is to be valiant for the Lord to do wonders or wonderfully to fight well his battels and to help the Lord as it were against the mighty Ah how is he delighted that we will avenge our selves thus on his Enemies and spare none alive but as Samuel did hew Agag the King himself in pieces this is to be jealous for the Lord with a godly jealousie and to have our love for the Almighty to be as hot as fire Ah thus thus if we pull out our right eyes and cut off our right hands we shall be sure to enter into life but not maimed but whole and entire And he that is thus willing to lose his life shall save it and he that will spare or save his life that is his life of sin or fleshly life to live in and commit sin shall surely lose his life both Spiritual Temporal and Eternal 54. He that thus dyes all the day long all his life long dyes much more gloriously by much in the eyes of the Lord God and in the eyes of all his enlightened Children than if he did suffer in the flesh constantly all his dayes the cruellest death of any of all the Martyrs Ah to suffer thus is to suffer truly is to suffer rightly for the cause of Christ and the honour of the Gospel for 't is not Ah no our outward sufferings in the flesh that delighteth the Lord for he is a God oâ— joy and would that we did always rejoyce and is there any other thing that we do oâ— can do that gives us so much cause to rejoyce as to be delivered but of the hands of all our Enemies and to see them lye slaiâ— before our eyes as the Egyptians Ah then then may we serve him without fear then and thereby do we serve the Lord in Righteousness and true Holiness and he that is thus faithful unto the death to put sin to death every moment of his life shall be sure in the end of his dayes to have the full end of all his desires and to wear for ever the Crown of Eternal life he that thus fights shall overcome he that thus suffers no sin to raign in his mortal body shall raign with Christ in bliss and glory world without end Amen Amen 55. Thus then to live and thus do dye is to be sure we shall live with Christ Eternally 56. He that doth live thus and thus puts sin to death lives that life and dyes that death daily as most of all honours God and which brings him most glory which is the thing only or the only thing as I suppose that all Gods Children most desire and long for in this life 57. He that thus lives shall ever live and he that thus puts sin to death is past from death to life and shall never see death that is the power of death to terrifie him for death is swallowed up into Victory death when it comes shall carry him in triumph yea triumphantly into the blessed arms of his blessed Jesus who hath thus redeemed him from Hell from sin and from death to live ever with himself in bliss and glory an Eternal life 58. When I shall find that sin is thus put to death in me then will I say boldly that the Lord hath sent his destroying Angel to do it that he
thee and what is there on all the Earth in comparison of thee all other joys are false joys and all other things are nothing but meer toyes for with thee O God and only with thee is all joy unspeakable joy and everlasting pleasures are at thy right hand 169. Ah Lord our God thou art all in all things for without thy presence the best and the greatest things are nothing to that Soul that knoweth thee what thou art 170. Thou art O God the sweet of all sweets the light of the light the glory and the bliss in glory As in thy presence is all joy So in thy absence is all sorrow to all Souls that are acquainted with thee and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy mysteries Such an endless and bottomless delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 171. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 172. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodness of those that are good the blessedness of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 173. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 174. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 175. Let me thus have thee I say always have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 176. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that cause me to draw back from thee 177. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 178. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confess it 's thine and not mine 179. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 180. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessedness even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 181. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 182. For out of thee O God my Heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 183. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my Heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thy own 184. Ah Lord Let me be always on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 185. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 186. Ah Lord God let me always have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eyed it and rejoyced in it and Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 187. Ah Lord cause me always to eye those things that are invisible that eye never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endless everlasting joys that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 188. Let me Ah let me always harken to hear that sweet and blessed voice of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 189. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must pass away us in a moment in the twinkling of an eye But that our Souls are immortal and shall live for ever and ever in endless unexpressible joys or endless everlasting unexpressible Torments 190. How low Ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of Men or Angels to express and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodness which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never dye and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 191. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joys that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 192. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 193. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weakness in such as see confess and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those
of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in bliss and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercies poured and showred down so gratiously and plenteously into my heart and soul on my Bed of Sickness Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my pains yea making the thoughts of Death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true Joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to communicate unto my Soul Heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gracious and divine love and the pardon of all my sins the flouds O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressible and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak enrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this Joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect Freedom and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercies which thou hast been pleased so richly graciously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my days not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Laws yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the â—orepast time of my life by an exact serious carefull watchfull and holy walking in thy most holy ways and never be truly satisfied till thou hast altogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and aim in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who dis-approve of it and that thou wilt do this and bless it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrosive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Launce to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others to condemn some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels railing Shimeis sinfull Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet with in this sinfull ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gall nor guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy Name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor Soul I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy Soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving
wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdom my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and sent me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to go and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee nothing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be always with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be more holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be always open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine arms to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto the that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on Earth to lift me up from Earth into Heaven to live a mortal life on Earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on Earth to free me from Eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on Earth to confirm and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart out also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st wear an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might wear a glorious Crown of Glory hereafter in Heaven thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine arms nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love thy feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thorns to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a spear to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streams and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternal pains and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joys he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unabillity and my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee nor can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me then O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to believe in thee to depend on thee and to rowl my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already owe thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe the more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expecteth only an acknowledgement that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedom Lord Ah Lord the freedom all the freedom all the freedom that I desire is to be thy
words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacob's Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his arms my arms might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine enemies O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucifie themselves and their bosom sins hate themselves and their own ways persecute themselves and crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing I despicable poor I until thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most graciously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech the in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannies of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utter and total destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the House of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me until thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ and what else thou knowest to be needful or expedient for me both for Soul and Body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy Spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottom of my heart unfeignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on Earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think love God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many Millions of Millions in the body and Spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him in deed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our senses Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esteem that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joys do then sometimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when it is filled with heavenly joys yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joys of Heaven 7. And if momentany and earthly joys can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joys shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is more than faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the Soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he prefers it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall always and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our joys be so great to see God here and his Glory darkly as in a glass with fleshly eyes Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously
joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flies away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unless it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the World not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to go to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to go to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the ways to Heaven and never go out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Laws and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honours for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee and thou be found a lyar mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is wise in his own conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary of so doing but the wicked curseth and is always empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance go along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladness is always iâ— the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth always 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousness 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the Mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet Oyl 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his Wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and go not out of his paths for he delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladness 249. Where ever the Lord is there is bountifulness and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Lean upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His ways are ways of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want where he reigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a wind which is not seen 258. He that submitteth to his ways shall find his doings advantagious for he knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercies are as the Sun they dispel the Clouds of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arm but all must bend when he commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and wants 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that is in me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any loveliness that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy
love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy yea thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be divorc'd from one which they hate beyond and more than any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly than any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are divorc'd from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more than all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodies Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessedness in Heaven for 273. There are no joys like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness and righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c. And that where sin hath abounded graâ—â— shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is opposite capital and grand Enemy to holiness as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell aâ—d sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holiness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor fly from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him yea so far as it will never be nearer him than it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and shall be never nearer him than it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possess him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holiness and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holiness destroys sin as light doth darkness this eternal darkness of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holiness doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holiness is from God and sin from the Devil holiness from the Creator sin from the Creature holiness had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holiness was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holiness the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and oâ— earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullness and they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulness without having in them any emptiness being always full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gracious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resatiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give
that he always labours to destroy himself and to all others that he rejoyceth to kill those for whom Christ died to give life even eternal life 11. Ah Lord thou knowest that my Love through thy Love is such unto the brethren that I even many times wish and desire I could empty my self that is what of God is in me into them that they might be so filled with him as to know him love him fear him choose him prize him and ioy and rejoyce in him and seek him and his presence with eagerness hungring and thirsting pantings gapings and groanings and never let him be at rest until he hath assured them that he is theirs and they are his 12. Gods blessed gratious and most glorious presence or Communion with him is our Vintage our Harvest our nuptial feast our Canaan flowing with milk and honey our Garden of Spices where we sit under the shadow of his wings and his fruit is pleasant to our tast he is all our good things and our good things always and only all our springs are in him and from him 13. Ah what true joy and what great joy hath that Soul that enjoys God truly knowingly and feelingly that saith I know that he is mine and I am his 14. He must needs be always full of Joy that is filled with the Joy of the Holy Ghost 15. Such Ah such receive Christ willingly and cheerfully at all times as Zacheus did and for his sake are content to part with all to the poor and to become poor vile and contemptible c. and with blessed Simeon they imbrace him with their whole heart as their Salvation and with Jacob say knowingly that they have all and that they care for nothing else at all for indeed they have all they would have that they even can desire and crave for he is their well being their entire satisfaction and full and whole contentment their joy being full when they thus enjoy him 16. Ah Souls labour to live to Christ for if ye live for him and to him then Ah then ye live in him and then ye live indeed your lives are hid with Christ in God and when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in Glory ye shall also appear with him 17. No man is so willing or can be to receive Christ as he is to give himself witness his life and his death and his now living continually making intercession for us See John 15 16 and 17. Chapters none is or can be so hungry but he is able and many times doth suddenly resatiate him none is or can be so empty or hunger-starved but he is able will and many times suddenly doth fill with unspeakable joy and rejoycing 18. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may be ever emptyed of my self and filled only with thee with thy blessed most blessed self that I may O Lord be blessed in life in death and after death and all I beg in and through Jesus Christ my blessed only Saviour and Redeemer 19. God gives not only space to repent 〈◊〉 grace to repent 20. Repentance is from God not from man man of himself can do nothing that is good no not of himself as of himself think a good thought all our sufficiency is from Gods all-sufficiency 21. Sin betrays us deceives See here the ugliness baseness and vileness of sin us beguiles us undoes us wounds us stabbs us poysons us kills us hells us damns us devils us of God-like it makes us Devil-like like the very Devil yea to be as it were a Devil to love sin as he loves it to favour it to plead for it to lye in its behalf to swear falsly that its falsity is truth that its ugliness is beautifulness that its deformity is fairness that its blackness is whiteness that its bitter is sweet that its hatred is love that its wiles and deceits are truth and uprightness that its poverty is riches that its contempt is honourable that its ignominy is glorious and that its Hell is Heaven the best Heaven yea the only Heaven that there is no other Heaven desirable to be desired loved chosen embraced or sought for Sin Metamorphoseth the heart and makes it like the Devils heart unclean unholy filthy abominable detestable tempting others to sin and delighting and rejoycing when through their temptation they are overcome and made like them to like love cherish and take pleasure in sin and go willingly along with them to commit all manner of sin uncleanness and filthiness with hungring thirsting and greediness sin shews it self to be what it is not contrary to what it is as light is to darkness for it says it is good yea and the best good the chiefest good the only good the superior and the soveraign good that there is none like it none so good when indeed and in truth it is nothing but evil all evil the worst evil yea the only and all the evil and basest evil only to be detested hated abhorred abominated and destroyed sin allures and overcomes but by shewing out and putting forth false Colours not its own its food starves the Soul its riches impoverisheth it its robes shew plainly the souls nakedness its beautifulness and gloriousness shew the souls deformity vileness and baseness wretchedness and unworthiness sin is the only Hell which racks tears rends and strikes through the soul with a fiery poysoned dart that makes the wound uncurable only the blood of God man man God can cure it can heal this deadly otherwise uncurable wound sin is that intolerable burthen that presseth down into that nethermost Hell that casteth into that Lake burning with fire and brimstone unquenchable sin is fewel to that fire so as it cannot be put out sin keeps alive that worm that ever gnaws and will never dye but causeth the soul thus to live in torments tormented eternally 22. O God my God heal me help me succor me comfort me sanctifie me and save me that I may appear before thee and in thy sight spotless and unblameable without wrinkle beautiful and comely through thine own comely transcendent beautiful beautifulness that I may O God in Christ comprehend that I am comprehended by thee that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and I am thine that I may Ah that I may henceforth and for ev 〈…〉 in thy love love and adore thy love and give thee O God and give thee all my love and my all for this thy love through grace thy most gracious and free gift in thus accounting and making me lovely 23. He that lives in Christ is a new Creature and he that is a new Creature lives in Christ 24. All old things are past away and behold all things are become new 25. His life is new for he now loves all truth because his love is true 26. If he thinks or doth any evil it is not what he would but that which he would not either do
that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or God's love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burthen for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48. When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole Man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surely beautifull in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majesty of God in some sort is on such a Soul and through the glorious light of Christ's gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedly and humbly beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwoed and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hatefull and detestable and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from Death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinfull and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true Life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though afar off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joys and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least healing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eye to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure and degree or nature of the ill but it 's alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and prizeth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerely as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particular as in the very greatest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his Bliss his Peace his Love his Joy his Rest his whole and only Delight Contentment and Comfort But in the most good he sees him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happiness 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ always thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living always in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be fit to receive and be filled with thy fulness even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodness 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with world flesh or self so much less room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure it 's empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and always be thus empty that we may be thus always filled for it 's clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulness of unspeakable joys and pleasure if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joys which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou mayest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee less and less dayly and thee O God more and more untill I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in
saving Ark of Rest which shall â—or ever cause me to float and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan â— grant O Lord that having past the timâ— my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in favour unite me O Lord I most humbly seech thee so nigh unto thy self that I may made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy fleâ— make me a member of thy Mysticall body hâ— that I may be for ever a member of thy gâ—rious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech â— to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations â— me and lay no more upon me at any time in â—dy or mind then thou shalt in thy goodnâ— and for thy glory inable me to bear and tâ— not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier â— the Comforter from me be thou my help want my strength in weakness my joy sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in verty my palace in Prison my home in â—nishment my health in sickness and my life death let my blessedness in thee O Lord câ—me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy â—verflowing fulness cause me to see my emptinâ— thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches â— poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy pâ—fection my imperfection thy holiness my unâ—liness thy glory my shame thy wisdom my foâ— thy strength my weakness thy goodness â— badness thy Heaven of happiness and blessednâ— Hell of unhappiness and wretchedness thy things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Heaâ—n on Earth to lift me up from Earth to Heaâ—n thou took'st my nature on thee to make me â—taker of thine own holy blessed and divine â—ture thou becamest the Son of Man to make â— the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my â—ra an Heir of Misery to make me an Heir of â—ercy yea Co-heir with thy self of Heavens â—eat glory and eternal Happiness Felicity and â—lessedness which is thy Father Self and holy â—rit three Persons but one God thou wert sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God â—ade a Curse that I might be made a Blessing â—ou wouldst dye once that I might likewise dye â—t once and then live with thee for ever and â—r ever thou didst O King of Glory wear a â—rown of Thorns that I might wear a Crown â— Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to â—t me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad â— shew how willing thou wert to embrace me â—y feet nail'd together to shew thy willingâ—ess never to go from me thy head hangâ—g down to shew thy willingness to kiss me â—ith the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for â—ver thy heart opened with a Spear even to â—t me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the leiâ— of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy aâ— the breadth of thy love and by the openinâ— thy side the shedding of thy hearts blood depth of thy love O blessed God O most â—sed love there is no God like unto thee nor there ever love like unto this thy love â— did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Faâ—â— frowns that I might have his smiles thou diâ— O Christ thou did'st drink up the dregs of Father's wrath even Vinegar mingled â— Gall that I might sweetly solace my self drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of endless love thou did'st O Christ my Saviâ— thou did'st bear all my sins that I might â—pear without sin thou didst O Christ my deemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood wash me from the filthiness of my own blâ— and from the guilt of this thy blood-sheddiâ— thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy Fâ— much more glorious than the Sun defaced â— spittle that mine might shine even as thâ— gloriously in glory though not so gloriously glâ—ous thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy bâ— whipped that by thy stripes I might be healâ— thou wert O Christ thou wert thus wounâ— that by thy deadly wounds I might be â— Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible â—yond degree an offended God dies to set offâ—ing man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah â—odness that surpasseth all love that wert in love â—ercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not â—hen I was a friend but an enemy not when I â—as in Covenant with thee but when I was â—t of Covenant not when I loved thee but â—hen I hated thee not when I was lovely but â—veless not when I was holy but unholy not â—hen I desired it but when I desired it not not for â—king it but when I askt it not not for having â—ne any thing for thee but even then when I â—d all that I could against thee not when I â—as thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils â—d all this O God my God that thou didâ—st â—as not for thy advantage but for mine not â—r thy good but for mine not for thy honour but â—r mine not for thy glory but to bring me to â—ory and all this thou did'st looking for noâ—ing again thou lovest me only because thou â—ould'st love me Ah height length depth and â—eadth of love that an offended God should â—e and woe and pray and pay and promise â—nd give and dye and live to reconcile inâ—ch honour magnifie and exalt offending â—an poor despicable man vile wretched â—orthless man nothing man that can be fitly â—mpared to nothing but to nothing less than â—e drop of a bucket or the dust of the balâ—ance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercies and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to adâ— and adore thy love and kindness thy kind loâ— thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry â— Lord what is man that thou art so minâ— of him and the Son of man that thou so gardest him as to visit him to magnifie hâ— to dwell in him to delight in him to mâ— him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to him good even according to all the good tâ— is in thy heart having prepared for him Kingdom which cannot be shaken a Kingâ— of Glory an eternal and incomprehenâ— weight of glory where is joy all joy unspeâ—able joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever moâ— where is no right but all is day yea the Lâ— himself is the lâ—ght thereof where is no grâ—nor sorrow nor care nor fear but all teâ— shall be wiped away and there shall be no mâ— sorrow nor sighing but all joys and singâ— of praises and Hillelujahs with the Angâ—ls â— Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea â— glory of the Lord seeing him face to face he is and knowing him as he is to be know there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Countrâ— no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishmâ—elite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei curse no Herod to persecute no Rabshekeâ— to rail no Judas to betray this Heaven is â—bove all Molestations and
earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falllng I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be always afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I believe I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth always Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gracious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternal and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and believe that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Man's best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou may'st be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is always present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which affrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most heartily beg and beseech thee be thou graciously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Jesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk upprightly in the midst of this crookâ—d froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfeigned love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gracious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdom it self not only good but goodness it self not only mercifull but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repining nor upbraiding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be always seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtain thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientlâ— circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech thâ—e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the â—nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done Cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without means yea and against means and that there is no means so contemptible but thou canst O God our God make effectual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jericho at the noise of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance Thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down graciously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives And though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them than we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them than thou shall be pleased to enable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them always see and acknowledge that thou punishest them far less than their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to wear the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to reign with thee hereafter And though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last days may be their best days and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithfull humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death Be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may always sit under the shadow of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the ways of thy Statutes and let thy Commandments be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to go astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindfull and mercifull O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever dispers'd wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sense and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their Souls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter than Snow purer than Wool finer than Gold and brighter than the Sun and make them O Lord more than Conquerours and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the Peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the Apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercies fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gracious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be always-willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not always mourn as men and women without hope but pour down O Lord in much love and mercy pour down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their Souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercies from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O
love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing always to dye for thy Love and to witness and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond any love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creator's own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 36. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescension is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aim of our end and the end of our aim is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend its greatness it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently express ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benumm'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses's bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and Transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his beloved Son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy Countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not always thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy Soul delighted only 47. Thy Love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life out of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pâ—eased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is True love in loving
when we love our Selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joys to enjoy them because they are the greatest joys 't is not Heaven for God but God for Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to reign with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to wear his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on Earth to have the recompence of Reward there as a good and faithfull Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on Earth and in Heaven but not his on Earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not dye with him here they fly many times from sin because of the pain woe grief and torment it will bring they fly from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is Sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his ways nor to the keeping of his Commandments but their delight is â—o delight themselves the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for God's sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they go about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benumm'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they go about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in duties in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus God's work and Soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the Soul and Heaven it is because of its happiness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for God's sake and even then when the Lord sends a fair wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to sail over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the Sayls they can to go against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyl to go back from their Port from their Haven Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and pains in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyl and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his ways that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things utterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconcivable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and cheerfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onions yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flows only from him he containing all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Door-keeper O Lord a Door-keeper in thy House do I much prefer choose and embrace rather than to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather than to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfeignedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Paul's and Peter's were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could always see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eyes have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but
Wisdom so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his Salvation and to know God in the Spirit 183. This Spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one Spirit unto the Father 184. This Spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to go aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as dirt dung and dross he is content in all Estates and Conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowfull yet always rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercies and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less than all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would always have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might always bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not always behold him if he do not always smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him and follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to lose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and holy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven and would be as willingly Sanctified as Glorified this his imperfection causeth him to long for perfection and this his holiness in part to long to be dissolved to enjoy for ever perfect holiness but though he be thus tossed on the restless waves of tentation tryal and affliction this spirit of God that dwelleth and abideth in him assureth him that all these things are tokens of Gods love and come from him in love and therefore he is content for that he knows that his Lord and Master Christ Jesus is touched with the feeling of his infirmities and was in all points like unto him yet without sin 186. This spirit comforts him when he is comfortless and binds up his broken heart heals his wounded heart visits his sick heart gives feeling to his senceless heart life to his dead heart faith to his doubting heart hope to his despairing heart speaks peace to his disconsolated and afflicted heart and gives understanding sence memory and reason unto his distracted heart 187. He that hath this spirit he is grieved to see Christ dishonoured by any and to see him blasphemed and evill spoken of is to throw durt and dung in his face mens dishonest and filthy lives and conversation make his soul to melt his heart to quake his ears to tingle and to gnash his teeth for grief he goeth mourning all the day long and lamenteth with a most bâ—ttâ—r lamentation to hear the mockings of God and his Word because this is to Crucifie his Jesus afresh and to put him again to open shame 188. For he that hath this spirit rejoyceth to hear the name of God and of Christ magnified and praised to hear him well spoken of causeth his heart to leap within him as the Babe did in Elizabeths Womb for he loves those that love him and honours those that honour him and such only he accounteth his Father and Mother his Brothers and Sisters that do the will of God his Father which is in Heaven for he esteemeth only the true Christian to be wise
more and more what is the length the breadth the height of the depth of his love to his Children and Servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor express and it so filleth their hearts with such joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that Heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in Heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegroom arrayeth us with even his own Righteousness and true holiness this filleth our lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voice Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his Sons and Daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that please him please them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to bless and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come to Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is always open for sin and for uncleanness this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the loss of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousness wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully chearfully and patiently all that is commanded them always saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with David My heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptible as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my Soul desireth to have on earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor Souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Halleluiahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberless number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his Enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the ways of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battle and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the ugliness and filthiness of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a Child of God and an Heir of Heaven yea Co-heir with Jesus Christ it makes them a Child of Wrath an Heir of Hell and Co-heir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengeance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct them and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holiness 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partakers of his own holy and divine nature to love the
brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joys enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for evermore 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy Children and Servants here on earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may always go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the ways of all truth and holyness which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holiness blessedness and eternal life and happyness 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all careless sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and taste and see how gracious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truly miserably poor that art Christless though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicacies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the Gold of Ophir and the precious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy Servants and Kings Daughters thy Maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgment thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distress they shall take themselves wings and fly away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou careless man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully to neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the Pit with thee nor thy mony neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are not that is they are not what they seem to be what they promise to be nor what we take them to be Serve no longer Ah be thou perswaded to serve no longer Devils lusts Worlds lusts or self lusts but serve Ah serve the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life that he may be still and still unto thee thy God and thy guide thy Sun and thy Shield thy peace and thy portion in the land of the living Neglect Ah neglect no longer nor put off no longer so sweet so certain and so great Salvation as those that are with God enjoy 206. Cast not Ah cast not his holy and divine Commandments behind thy back any more and trample not his precepts under thy feet and turn not his grace of love and mercy into wantonness Quench not Ah quench not the motions of his holy spirit by which thou art sealed unto the day of redemption but open quickly yea set quickly wide open the door of thy heart and let him in lest he depart from thee and swear in his wrath that thou shalt never enter into his rest and say unto thee as he did unto Jerusalem seeing that thou wouldst not be gathered unto me all my mercies shall be for ever hid from thine eyes and seeing that he would not that I should reign over him come slay him before me Ah who then who then shall be able to deliver thee from the wrath of the Lamb who is the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah he will tear he will tear thee in pieces in his anger and break thee even as a Potters Vessel is broken for none shall be able to deliver thee out of his hands nay all shall be against thee good and bad Angels Saints and sinners vea thine own self shall have indignation against thy self thine own eyes shall look evilly on thee thine own hands shall tear thee in pieces thine own thine own feet shall carry thee to the place of execution thine own thine own Conscience shall accuse and condemn thee and justifie Gods Righteous dealing towards thee thus thus shalt thou be there
forsaken of all if thou dost here forsake God and refuse to be led guided and directed by his holy Spirit who is only able to keep thee safe from all evil and to do thee all all good 207. O man man Reader whoever thou art I pray thee I pray thee as the Prophet did and say unto thee in his words O earth earth earth return return unto the Lord thy God and thou shalt find mercy his hand is not shortned his ear is not dull of hearing he is the same yesterday to day and for ever it is thy sins thy sins and only thy sins that separate between thee and thy God leave Ah leave then but thy sins and return unto the Lord and thou shalt find mercy and to our God who is full of Compassion Ah tast tast and see how good the Lord is and how gracious he will be unto thee if thou wilt leave and forsake thy filthy filthy sins though thou hast played the Prodigal and spent the stock of his Grace on Harlots and Strangers in a far Country yet Ah yet if thou wilt but return whilst he seeth thee yet afar off he will run towards thee to meet thee and fall on thy neck and kiss thee and kill for thee the fatted Calf and array thee with the best white Robes even with the Royal and most glorious Robes of his own only natural Son and thine Eldest Brother Christ Jesus he will delight in thee yea set his heart upon thee to do thee good and bring thee home to himself and give thee himself for thy Portion and make thee his own inheritance for ever 208. But I am perswaded that thou art fully perswaded that there is not so much sweetness in Jesus Christ as in the World nor his paths are not so pleasant and delightful as the ways of sin and therefore thou makest the World thy God and thy Christ and lovest it as thou should'st love God and Christ well the world and sin and its good and pleasures thou knowest well I desire only this one thing of thee that thou would'st labour to know Christ as well as thou knowest the world and sin serve him as many years as thou hast served them and if thou dost not find more sweet more beauty more pleasantness more delight more profit more advantage and more honour than in the world and sin return then to thine old Masters again and serve them but I promise and assure thee and will freely pawn thee my soul for surety that thou shalt gain more by serving Christ one year if that thou dost it as thou oughtest than by serving the world and sin all the days of thy lif 〈…〉 and if thou dost repent of thy bargain I will confess that I do deserve thy curses and not thy prayers thou shalt find thou shalt find that his ways are not strowed with Thorns and Thistles as thou supposest but with Odoriferous Roses and sweet perfumes as thou supposest not keep Ah keep faithfully thy Covenant with God and he will give thee much more than thou art able to ask than thou art able to think 209. Consider the service thou shalt do for God thou shalt by thy life if Godly perhaps bring home many to him for thy Companions heretofore in sin will have more regard to thee than unto others of the Godly and will now conclude that surely Gods ways are the most pleasant and delightsome seeing thou preferrest them and choosest and esteemest and praisest them above and more and beyond all the wayes of sin and this may cause them perhaps to make a tryal which if they do there is hopes for God will not be wanting on his part to shew them mercy if they desire it and seek it faithfully with all their hearts 210. If thou wilt then witness thy living and being risen with Christ seek the things that are above where Christ sitteth at the right hand of God set your affections on things above not on things on the earth let your hearts be where your treasure is for ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God put off Ah put off the old man with all his deeds and put on the new man which is renewed in knowledge and after the Image of him that Created him and as the Elect of God put on bowels of mercies kindness humbleness of mind meekness longsuffering forbearing one another and forgiving one another if any man hath a quarrel against any even as Christ forgave you so also do ye and above all these things put on Charity which is the bond of perfectness and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to the which also ye are called in one body and be ye thankful let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another in Psalms and Hymns and spiritual Songs singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatsoever ye do in word and deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him so then when Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory 211. These are and I trust through Gods free grace in Jesus Christ shall ever be the longings and desires of the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart for all you that shall read it and for all the Israel of our God and I hope and shall pray the Lord in the infiniteness of his goodness to supply all my defects with the teachings and comforts of his own spirit who is the only teacher guider leader and Comforter Ah seek him then whil'st he may be found and God I hope will give him thee 212. Now the peace of God which passeth all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledg and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord and the blessing of God Almighty the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost be with you and dwell in your hearts abundantly to the praise and glory of his holy name the good of others and the comfort of your own Souls Now henceforth and for ever more Amen 213. I had much rather be the poorest in the World even a Job or a Lazarus O Lord for thy sake than the richest of the World yea than to have all the World for my own sake 214. For I have all that I would have when I have all that thou O Lord my God wilt have me to have 215. I esteem all even as nothing at all if it come not O Lord from thee all 216. Alas alas what and how much nothing is this Worlds all if we have not Christs all that is all Christ 217. Let me then O my sweet Jesus have all that thou hast and I will not care whether I have any thing at all of all that the World hath 218. He that hath Christ for his Christ is heir of all things and sure of all things but
how willing to unmind it altogether and to forget it for ever even for ever and for ever how sweetly Ah how sweetly doth it pass the time away when all its faculties are imployed and feasted in the contemplation of God his love goodness greatness mercy truth wisdom and Eternity how willingly Ah how willingly doth it shake off put away divorce and separate it self from all things of these things here below and doth the soul of the heart rejoyce when it is not molested with perturbations it doth at such a time as this forget these low things even all these high things here below as if he had never thought on them as if they were not nor had never been 133. Ah how is the heart at rest and quiet how calm how peaceable how joyful I know not how it is to set it forth as then it is when it is with God in God me thinks I know not where it is nor what it doth enjoy such is its blessed and blest condition as I know not nor am not able to set down what condition it is nor how blessed it is so blessed I know not what to call it nor how to set it forth in that loveliness in that blessedness that then it is blessed with if it then see any Object out of God besides God it sees it not if it hear any voyce or words it hears it not if it speaks yet as it were it speaks not if it walk it seems to its self as if it walk not as if it moved not if it stands still it seems not to know it for even all its sences and faculties are so much taken up and imployed as it well knows not or as it were cannot express about what it is imployed at least how it is imployed nor what it doth enjoy such and so great are its joys 134. And when Ah when it must leave this sweet study this Heavenly work this blessed imployment this profitable traffick this honourable business this glorious company these great joyes these pleasant pleasures and soul-satisfying satisfactions and converse again with the men of the world how Ah how irksome displeasant uncouth troublesome yea noysome and burdensome is every other thing every other word every other business every other matter or concernment of what concernment soever it be never Ah never any loss seemed to him so great never any man to his esteem and seeming fell from such a high condition to such a low condition how willingly Ah how willingly would he have his body in any Condition so that his mind were always imployed in minding this blessed and Heavenly most Heavenly and most blessed Condition Ah what words what thoughts what desires Ah what gaspings gapings longings hungrings and thirstings at sometimes and then presently Ah presently how is he filled and satisfied and yet knows not as it were with what nor how and this he calls a new birth and a new birth indeed it is for he is then all new and made another man within and without for he is in some measure as it were like God holy as he is holy and pure as he is pure for in sincerity he desires and aimes at holiness and purity even at pure holiness and to be without spot and wrinkle unblameable his life is as it were even hid with Christ in God Christ is his life all his life is to live in him with him for him and unto him it s the end of his aim and the aim of all his end to be his only his none but his always his that he may be ever his even and for ever to live that life and dye that death as may bring him most glory as may glorifie him most In Bourdeaux Anno 1658. 1. WE may enjoy the world and all the things of the world but we must not Ah we must not joy in them so as to make them our joy use them we may but abuse them in the use of them not we may not we may possess them but must not Ah we must not suffer them to possess us esteem them good we may but our least good we must not Ah not our best good not our chief supream soveraign and only good for that is God only only God who is all good and all good only in Heaven nor earth there is none besides him 2. Seeking as well as finding knocking as well as opening asking as well as giving is Gods free gift for he freely giveth all things unto all that ask aright by faith in Jesus Christ and no good thing will he with-hold from those that love him that love his fear and fear his love 3. What is Hell but thy absence O Lord the absence of thy love and our living in and continuing in sin 4. And what O Lord and what is Heaven but thy love and thy presence O God the continual and everlasting enjoying of thy ever blessed and loving presence and our liberty and freedom from sin to sin no more but to praise thee ever and for ever and thee only O God and thee only adore 5. Grant me O Lord God this one thing this one thing only to enjoy thee and that I may always make thee my only joy and to sin no more willingly with my will either in thought word or deed but to live the life of the righteous to and for thine honour praise and glory 6. Whose sins the Lord forgives he forgets whom he hath pardoned he will save where he loves he lives and will ever live there in love those that are beloved shall be ever his beloved for he hath loved them ever and will love them ever 7. The fire of Gods Love are the fiery flames in which all his children desire to live for out of them they cannot live life is to them death yea much worse than any death and any death they would willingly Ah most willingly choose to live this life 8. Our fitting here for Heaven by sanctification which is holiness is an evident sure and certain token and sign that Heaven is fitted and prepared for us for as without holiness no man shall see God so being made holy he shall be sure to see God that is to possess him who is Heaven eternal life and happiness where holiness is there God is he dwelleth and maketh his continual abode where holiness abideth and dwelleth 9. O God my God from whom every good and perfect gift doth come give O give I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ unto me a holy heart according to thine own heart that it may be thine and that thou mayest delight in it to make it thy delight and be pleased to live in it here until thou shalt bring me to live with thee and in thee and to thee and for thee for ever and ever 10. What a stinking Carrion is man Ah what a most deformable thing is man when God is not with him nor in him so much an Enemy he is to himself
that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Being with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and a pillow of wooll nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voice of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no company like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindness the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetness and greatness of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he enricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sickness and in health in places and conditions he is always nigh at hand to those that unfeignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodness to pass before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their Shield their Peace and their everlasting Portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but always and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall always work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may always touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gracious most gracious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gracious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou may'st not only O God be in all my thoughts always but always all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodness that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousness that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comely and beautiful with thine own gloriousness to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulness that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall never cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers whatever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatness of thy eternal and everlasting goodness wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 82 How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joys how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their fickleness shortness and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 83. The wicked shall not live out half his days and how long soever he live they will not be half the days he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiah's for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his days as Methusalem's all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 84. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom
the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin than sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of Hell to him that makes God his best Heaven the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 98. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his ways to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou would'st and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy most holy things are too too unholy and all thine all even nothing at all thou art altogether ashamed of thy self that thou art what thou art and abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes accounting thy self as thou art in thy self the vilest of Creatures the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men 99. And this causeth in thee sorrow shame grief and astonishment wondring that such a God should love such a man such a worm such a wretch such a miscreant such a dog such a sinnner yea such a devil as thou art in thy self Dost thou thus condemn thy self loath and abhor thy self and art thus truly angry with thy self and ashamed of thy self and of all thy doings and marvellest how thou canst find acceptance at such a glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of Glory and that God hath had so long patience and that he did not cut thee off long ago and give thee thy portion with thy brethren in Iniquity Whoremongers Drunkards Prophaners of the Sabbath with the Covetous Proud Boasters Malicious Raylers False accusers c. even with the devil and his angels and that thou dost esteem it a Heaven that thou art not now in Hell giving continual Glory to God in Christ that thou wert not consumed and cut off long ago and that he hath not given only space to repent but also grace to repent from all and every sin in thought word and deed even with repentance unto life never to be repented of 100. And if thus thou art in sincere truth I say if in truth and sincerity these or the like be thy desires endeavours life and living end and aim habitually continually and universally then art thou what thou shouldst be and what God would have thee to be assure thy self thy heart is upright clean pure holy and perfect even according to Gods own holy heart thou art a man in Christ a member of Christ and surely surely Christ will assuredly own thee for his own and always love thee and live in thee even as he doth in his own as he doth to those in whom he liveth and whom he loveth and thy life shall henceforth be hid with Christ in God so that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in glory thou shalt also appear with him to his eternal glory and thine everlasting comfort joy and eternal salvation 101. And therefore O man of God child of God son of God and servant of the eternal and ever living God chear up thy self and rejoyce yea I say evermore rejoyce for God is thy God and thy Father thy Portion thy Lot and thine Inheritance thou art surely his and he is as surely thine and Christ Jesus will be also thine all all thine the way the truth and the life to bring thee unto and give the possession of eternal life life eternal which he hath prepared for thee by his death and is preparing thee for it by his life for he lives to make continual intercession for thee the holy Spirit of grace the Sanctifier and the Comforter is thine he will guide thee lead thee direct thee keep thee and preserve thee unto the end even in the ways of all holiness and righteousness of peace joy comfort and consolation which are the foretasts and fore-sights of eternal life and salvation the very beginnings of the beatifical Vision of glory in glory and of those ravishing joys and pleasures prepared and laid up for the Just before the beginning of the world was which are such as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive being much ah much above all that we can ask or think for there we shall ever possess and enjoy all joys unspeakable joys yea fulness of all joys and pleasures for evermore even God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all in all and in all the blessed to him alone be eternally given all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now and for ever and ever Amen Amen 102. None but the true children of God can truly love Gods children they that are his will love those that are his chiefly and most because they are his and those most that appear to be his most and those dearliest that are his dearest 103. I will much more more by much rejoyce in an obedient heart to submit unto and to do the whole and holy will of God in all cases conditions and places than to enjoy the wisdom of Solomon and all the honours riches delights and pleasures of the whole world 104. Ah Lord let my heart never be at rest until I find that it doth most willingly freely joyfully and choosingly submit and acquiesce unto all that God will be it what it will and to say of all things and in all conditions so would I have it 105. There is surely nothing so delightful unto the heart of a true Christian as to do the whole will of God holily and heartily as to please him by a sincere hearty and cheerful obedience universally 106. Ah the joys the joys the true joys the great joys yea the unspeakable joys the peace the peace the comfort the comfort the solace and the rest and quiet that is in the heart of him that feareth always from love for it destroys all servile fear and causeth such joy and gladness as passeth all understanding 107. What ah what honour is there like that as truly and sincerely to honour God! What pleasure ah what pleasure like that as always to please God! What joy ah what joy like that as always to enjoy God! What happiness ah what happiness like that comparable to that as to know him to be ours and we to be his What peace ah what peace like that as when we know our peace to be made with the God of peace through and by Jesus Christ the King and Prince of peace witnessed unto us by the continual indwelling in us of the Spirit of peace the Sanctifier of our souls and the Comforter of our hearts Ah what comfort what comfort like unto that as to find our selves in God and that great good God to be
thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfeigned sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest gift that God gives man here on Earth is to ascertain and assure him by his own Spirit that he hath and will give him himself for ever hereafter to behold his face in Heaven and that we are his and shall be his for ever 64. Ah Lord God I beseech thee augment and increase my Faith that it may remove the mountains of my sins altogether out of my sight that they may never shadow thy graces in me any more but that I may always say as now thine own Spirit in me causeth me to say sweetly and boldly that thou art mine and I am thine that so I may in all needs wants crosses and afflictions whatsover say I have enough I shall not want I cannot be poor because the Lord is my God and my Portion for ever and for ever 65. Ah Lord God let me feel anew anâ— afresh dayly what I have felt of thy Lovâ— and kindness in truth and know more anâ— more clearly that thou art mine and thaâ— I am thine let me be still constantlâ— assured that thou art my Lord and my God and that thou wilt never leave me nor forâ— sake me but wilt live in me for ever and so ever 66. Let all doubts and fears be scattered that Satan may never gather them togetheâ— to molest or trouble me that my joy may be full that I may always joy in this thy so great Salvation and be made glad by thâ— light of thy countenance shining upon me which is better much by much and cheaâ—eth more than any wine 67. It is a most sweet thing to live freâ— from all sin 68. To see our selves as we are in our selves and as we are in Christ in our selves black ugly deformed loathsome filthy and abominable but in Christ comely fair beautiful white clean pure bright delightful and spotless to see our selves in our selves darkness black thick horrible darkness but in Christ transparent transcendent bright light to see our selves in our weak but in Christ strong to see our selves in our selves barren but in Christ fruitfull to see our selves in our selves very foolishness but in Christ true Wisdom to see our selves in our selves loveless but in Christ lovely to see our selves in our selves nothing but in Christ all things to see our selves in our selves sinners miserable sinners members of Satan heirs of Hell and eternal damnation but in Christ Ah in Christ our Christ without sin as if we had never sinned as members of his own glorious body and coheirs with him of Eternal Life and Glory thus Faith doth cause us to see our selves when our eyes are opened 69. I had much rather by much have Obedience than any grace of comfort or assurance I had rather much by much be wholly obedient and want assurance than have assurance and fail in any point of obedience 70. Ah God my God and my only good give this grace that I may be wholly obedient unto all thy holy Laws and Divine Commandments for as thou lookest on it as the best of Sacrifices so my Soul rejoyceth more in it than in all graces for methinks it comprehends all graces to be obedient from true sincere unfeigned Love Such a one would be wholly holy do thy whole and holy will always for such a Soul makes the keeping of thy Commandments the only joy of his heart and the solace of his Soul 71. What Ah what a sweet most sweet condition is it to live in God only and to see our selves in him for then the heart desires nothing else nor the mind minds nothing else nor the will chuse any thing else nor the affections love any thing else nor the Soul cares for any thing else nay it rejoyceth for that it is thus divorc'd from all things else and Ah how it chuseth and desireth thus to be ever to be ever thus to joy only in God and to make God only his joy 72. The Heart and Soul is then to the World and to all the things of the World as a man asleep he values no more Crowns Scepters nor Kingdoms wisdom strength beauty riches honours or pleasures than a stock or a stone doth or can do he is so sensless so benum'd frozen icy and cold that he hath no sense or feeling he is caught up above all these high things here below and when he doth return to consider them Ah how low vain and foolish doth he account them nay he maketh not any account of them at all either great or small 73. He weeps to see that he hath esteemed them as he hath and laughs at their folly that do chuse them for their choice best soveraign and chief good 74. A Soul in such a condition saith what have I any more to do with such Idols Ah that I could saith such a Soul ever enjoy my God so as that all things out of him and besides him might give me no joy 75. Such a Soul saith when and whilst I have the best good the soveraign good take the other he that will I would Ah I would with my whole heart give all to any so I could give the thoughts of it likewise that it might never more come into my thoughts but that I might be so swallowed up in God as he might only contain me and be all my all 76. What hath the King more than the Beggar or what is he more when he is asleep as to enjoyment the Beggar then wants nothing of what his heart desireth and the King possesseth nothing then of all that he possesseth according to the desires of his heart they are then alike frustrate of all things and possess nothing 77. Even so it is with the Soul nay with the whole man when he is drawn in drowned buried or swallowed up in God he is asleep yea dead to all things out of God and besides God and saith what are all these outward glorious beautifull Objects to those which I did enjoy in God Ah if I could if I could always possess these what would I care for them they are to me at such times even as if they were not in comparison of what they are at other times I can and do now heartily laugh them to scorn and have them in contempt and derision my
God my God is so good he is so good and so delightfull as he is now become my whole and my sole delight 78. Ah if it could be ever thus with me I am sure I should never want any of these things that the flesh craves not bread to feed me not drink to refresh me not cloaths to cover me having and possessing the things above and could they Ah and could they always be possest I think none but mad men and fools will dare say that we want any of the things below though we should want them all As to me I am sure I should not find any want if I could be always as I have been sometimes 79. But O Lord I praise thee O Lord I mightily prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of Tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done until thy Kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God are vanity foolishness nothingness will flye from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defâ—nd us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable poverty to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious Robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comly to my ugliness to make me lovely to my wretchedness and misery to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and coÌ„unt the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensibly great 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were already come unto them they have already as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into Heaven even whilst we are here on Earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is Heaven O God because thou raignest See here in some little measure what Heaven is and what Hell is there and Hell is Hell because thou raignest not there Heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there Hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for Hell would not be Hell if thou wert there O God in love it is thy presence that maketh Heaven Heaven and it is thy absence that Hell is Hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is Heaven Hell is filled with thy frown and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely Hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is Heaven Hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but Hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of Heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath always thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore Heaven is such a Heaven as it is but Hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable Heaven is Heaven in Heaven yea such a blessed Heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and Hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in Heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in Hell because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this Heavenly Heaven this light this glory this transcendant incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be always altogether fully filled
Kindness and the other of our own desperate badness unkindness ingratitude and misery Thus even thus me thinks we should always be all the day long all our days unto the very end of our lives 6. According as is our Spiritual warfare within us so is our peace if there be an universal war in all the faculties of the Soul and members of the body against all sin then and only then do we enjoy peace true peace full peace and perfect peace Wherefore make first a Covenant with thine eyes that they gaze not abroad nor look irregularly or wantonly Secondly with thine ears that thou take no pleasure but avoid to hear all vain idle foolish or sinful talk Thirdly with thine hands that they touch no unclean thing that is that they serve not as an instrument at any time to do any evil Fourthly with thy feet that they carry thee not to do the thing at any time that is not altogether right in Gods sight and esteem Fifthly with thy tongue that thou speak not vainly lightly idly foolishly hurtfully slanderously or sinfully But that which shall honour thy God edifie thee here and comfort thine own soul and give thee joy in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ Sixthly with thy mind that thou mind only the things of God and what are according to his mind Seventhly with thy heart that thou love not seek not choose not prize not any other thing than what is according to Gods heart Eightly with all thy affections to love what God loveth and to hate what God hateth and as he loveth and hateth them in sincerity and truth continually Ninthly and lastly but not the least with thy thoughts to suffer no evil vain idle foolish gadding worldly affection to settle it self there a moment keep out all things thence but thy God and the serious thoughts of his goodness and of thine own badness of his mercy and of thine own misery of his Heaven and of thine own Hell of his glory and of thine own shame of his beauty and of thine own deformity and ugliness of his light and of thine own darkness of his fulness and of thine own emptiness of his fruitfulness and of thine own barrenness of his power and of thine own weakness of his Wisdom and of thine own foolishness of his Patience and of thine own frowardness and peevishness in a word of his riches which is above all over all and more than all things much by much either in Heaven above or Earth beneath and of thine own despicable poverty and nothingness at all only a sinful nothing or nothing but sin 7. If thus thou endeavourest to keep out all things but God and his ways out of all thy thoughts always thou shalt I promise thee live such a peaceable quiet comfortable sanctified holy blessed life as is unutterable unexpressible for as thy thoughts are so will be thy comforts or discomforts thy joys and rejoycings or thy reproaches and bewaylings Do thou thus draw near to God and thou shalt find him and feel him and perceive him and see him to draw near unto thee by his graces here which will bring thee to possess himself his Heaven and his Glory for ever hereafter 8. God doth not give us such a measure of grace here to free us altogether from our Corruptions infirmities and failings for these two ends as I conceive first that we be not lifted up above measure as we should be and think our selves to be something and that we are cloathed and rich and full God knoweth that it is better for us to see our poverty nakedness and emptiness that we may be Inheritors with the Saints in life of all the promises both of things present and to come And not to be shut out of them with the evil Angels and have our Portion in the Lake of fire and Brimstone world without end Again secondly If thus we did live at our hearts ease always without temptations failings or falls we should surely with Peter foolishly make Tabernacles here and not care for any other Heaven for indeed it would be a Heaven But not Ah not such a Heaven as our God hath prepared and provided for us above where we shall see him as he is to be seen and know him as he is to be known If we had here all that we would have or could desire and crave we should not with holy Heavenly enlightned Saint Paul desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ which as he said well truely and divinely was much better by much yea best of all And if we were not at times tempted how should we manifest the gifts and graces of Gods spirit in us as now through grace we do by our fightings strivings struglings wrestlings contendings in the heat of Zeal and fire of fervent love in truth to keep our selves as valiant Combatant◠〈…〉 holy Lists of his Divine and blessed Laws and ways not flinching at all or drawing back in the least or moving a foot But standing it out to the very last breath against all our spiritual Enemies and Adversaries within and without of Devils Lusts worlds Lusts and fleshly Lusts and Corruptions And here by constant and faithful engagements in this holy war in this spiritual combate in this Angelical fight for the honour and glory of the Eternal God the King of Kings and Lord of lords we are confirmed assured strengthned and setled by the whispers and sweet voice of his holy spirit within us to our Souls and Consciences that we shall in due time be made through his strength and continual assistance more than Conquerors and shall at last sit down and rest in peace Triumphantly with the Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Martyrs and Saints wearing for ever the Crown of Victory and Glory in Glory and be arrayed with the long white robes of Christs righteousness worthiness merits and obedience and ever live with him and his bliss enjoying for ever and ever his presence his Heaven yea himself who is the bliss of all bliss the Top and Crown of all joy the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and the glory beauty splendor and sublimit◠of Glory in Glory 9. See then and consid 〈…〉 ess and muc◠better doth God deal with us and carve to us than we can or would for our selves how much Ah how much better is he to u◠and for us then we would be to and for our selves how much more over and above hath he prepared for us and will surely give us than we are able to ask than we are able to think wherefere let us learn to let him alone and pray him to deal with us and do for us as seemeth him good and always say in all things so Lord so would I have it seeing thou wilt have it so 10. I also conceive that God suffers us to fall at times for this end or the like that by our fall we may learn and be made to stand the faster to rise the higher
hath done it with the word of his power with his own voice who is that blessed Arch-Angel of the Covenant of peace and reconciliation 59. When I shall find that sin is thus rooted up in me by the roots then will I say that the Lords hand hath done it for I know that none but the Lord himself can do such wonders and work wonderfully thus 60. When I shall find that sin is destroyed in me then will I say that the Lord hath visited me graciously that he hath spoken peace to my poor soul and revived it and refreshed it then may I say he hath been with me of a truth and not regarded the low estate of his poor Servant 61. When I shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gracious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Cross for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possess thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers raign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and for ever mayest be my God ever over all and bless me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thou in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and lye down on our beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possess and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eye see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men teach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own teachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee than to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as dross to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is untill we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our days so are we not at all able to tell what God is unless he tell us nor to hear him unless he open our hearts and give us understanding nor comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voice we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joys are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happiness and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darkness Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls dross to gold darkness to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favorite O God who art King of kings and Lord of lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce always with unspeakable joy yea that my joys may be full 80. Let mâ— O Lord rejoyce much more
of my natural darkness which is darker than the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter than the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Laws and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fill me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us that Gal. 3. 27. makes us Christians which is to be like Christ to be Baptized in him to have put him on and this oneness with Christ God is in all the Saints all the Saints are thus one in God with Christ he in us and we in him MEDITATIONS ON DEATH HOW It appears to the Godly and to the Wicked after a great Sickness ALL happiness is in Christ and in possessing of him and there is no true happiness out of Christ All the whole world is much too little and too low to be compared to Christ and to the living in him Though he should want bread to eat and Cloaths to put on Christ I am sure alone will satisfie and truly please and content any man A naked Christ a poor Christ that is a Christ that shall bring nakedness and if as with Job Poverty and uncomliness he will be to a Soul that truly knows him the fairest of ten thousand without spot or wrinkle the only fair and beautiful the only desirable the whole and only desires the riches honour treasure and pleasure of all souls that truly know him A soul that truly knows Christ cannot live as he would without a farther knowledge of him living in him to have Communion and fellowship with him which is of more value to him and he prizeth it more than ten thousand worlds and lives Christ being above all things and more than all things much by much A Christians last hour is his best hour the hour of his Death is the best hour of all his life yea that hour is the true beginning of life for Death sin and Hell are swallowed up into Victory and the Devil totally and finally overcome Death is advantagious unto a Christian divers wayes when he dyes then he begins to live in the Lord who is the Lord of life and glory then he shall in a very great measure know feel and see the unspeakable love of God to him but I conceive not altogether so as it is in God that shall even surpass our knowledge there for we shall be swallowed up into it and be filled with it it shall contain us but we shall not be able to contain it and there shall we have continual and perfect love to love God perfectly and continually even as he would have us to love him which is the continual fulfilling the whole Law and which will make us of all things most like himself for God is love and surely it is the most lovely grace of all graces both on earth as well as in Heaven and so through grace I have found it Ah let us never then pray against Death which brings us these and a thousand more Heavenly advantages but rather be prepared to meet it with joy and embrace it as our best friend next to Christ Ah how sweet is Death even almost as Heaven to that soul that is housed in God and hath his peace made sure with him Death to such a soul is much better than any life Ah how sweet is Death to that soul that knows Heaven is prepared for him and finds and feels himself prepared for Heaven and sees his Saviour with his blessed arms spread abroad to welcome and embrace him and his glorious head bowed down to kiss him and he nigh him to receive him into his Everlasting Habitation of rest joy and peace Death at the worst is but a sweet sleep to the body to him that dyes in the Lord for he rests from all his labours but it is life to the soul and it shall ever live in and with the Lord of life and Glory I am sure to a good Christian that is such a one as is in some measure like Christ that lives and walks and doth as far as he is able as Christ did when he was here in the flesh the thoughts of death and its being not far off bring him the most joy next to the Glory of God and his interest in him by Christ Ah how sweet is death to that soul that knows himself to be long since dead to all sin Death is sweet to all such souls because he be-friends them so much as in a moment to house them in the blessed arms of their blessed Redeemer Christ Jesus Death is sweet to them that are in Christ because he carries them in a moment to live in his presence for ever and for ever and to enjoy him as he is to be enjoyed and to be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious Death is to all that are in Christ as Elijah's Chariot of fire which purifies them and expels all the remainder of Corruption that is within them that is by death all evil is done away we are no more capable of sin by death death is destroyed and life appears But Death to the wicked is the Devils Chariot sent from Hell to bring them quickly there as Jehu's Chariot it drives them furiously thither from whence none is able to deliver Death to the Godly is a Consuming fire to all their sins they shall not ever more be seen or remembred but it is a fire as from Gods Altar to purifie their graces and to make them shine more radiant than the Sun after death they shall in a moment be made perfectly pure and purely perfect and ever so abide But Death to the Wicked is that fire of Hell that shall consume all the good that ever they did so as it shall not nor cannot be seen nor remembred but it will make all the evil that ever they committed either in thought word or deed to be ever before the eyes of God and all the blessed in Heaven and before the Devils and all the damned and their own as if writ with a beam of the Sun Death to those that are in Christ brings them to hear that sweet and ever blessed voice of Christ himself come ye blessed inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from all Eternity and well done good and faithfulâ— Servant enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. But death to the Wicked will bring them in a moment for ever to hear that most doleful voice from the mouth of Christ go ye cursed with whom with the Devil and his Angels into everlasting burning into that fire that cannot be quenched which
Heavenly Eternal and Incomprehensible Glorious Lord God the God and Father of all mercies and of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ I thy poor and unworthy creature despicably poor blind and naked and out of Christ I confess and acknowledge that I have nothing wherewith to cover my nakedness and deformity but unclean filthy raggs my own righteousness being unrighteousness my own obedience being disobedience my own worthiness being unworthiness so that all my all is even nothing at all and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing I see now and know my self to be a most miserable wretch the chiefest and the greatest of all sinners yea the very worst of the worst of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptiness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil always without and within in Spirit Soul and Body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angels and Men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eyes O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father nor to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou mayest O God thou mayest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not any of thy Divine Commandments and most holy laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the ways of Hell death and destruction for Body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out of the ways of Heaven bliss and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have prophan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments Thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traiterously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have â—hus continued unto my lives end hadst â—hou not in love and mercy pull'd me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire if thou hadst not O God come in â—o my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he â—id me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodness and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable Caitif and Captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindness of thee my God to my poor Soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure enable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prize and that others that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodness love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and breadth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for breadth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joys that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfeignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness bounty and love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in Man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinfull lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may