that her Husband might find her at home on his Return Valentin having taken his leave of the Company did take horse and did not meet with the Caroach on the way because either his Imployment or the excesse of Wine he had taken did steer him in another course On his return he found his fair Wise in bed who counterfeited her self to be sick He having told her That he had been abroad three days to enquire what was become of her She assured him that it was above two days since she returned so that by this excuse she appeased his choler and he verily believed that he did not see her at all in the Castle of Raymond All this while Francion made preparations for his departure having testified the great grief he entertained being for some time to be deprived of the Company of Raymond On the next morning he took his leave of him very early and departed with all his train which by the assistance of his good Friend he had increased by the addition of one Groom of his Chamber three Lackeys and a Horse-keeper When he came to the Innes wherein he was to lodge he entertained himself with no other thought but only with the contemplation of her who was the Cause of his voyage Being oftentimes in the way he would take her Picture out of his Pocket and could not forbear to look upon it as he did ride Every hour he rendred homage to it and offered the sacrifice of an infinite number of sighs and tears On the first day of his travel there arived no Adventure at all but on the second there did fall out one which deserveth to be recorded About Mid-day he came into a Village where he determined to alight and to refresh himself to which purpose he made choice of the best Tavern and whiles they were walking his Horses and putting them into the Stable he did go into the Kitchin himself to enquire what there was ready to eat he found the House sufficiently provided with all things that might satisfy hunger but he could not find any one to give any answer to him only he heard a great noise in the Chamber above the Kitchin and to understand what the businesse was he did immediatly go up the stairs The Door being open he beheld a Man upon the Bed who was covered only with one sheet and uttered himself in a thousand coutumelious words to a Woman who did not sit farr off upon a Coffer His Choler was so great that at that instant he was rising up stark naked to beat his Wife with a staff which was hard by him Francion who did not understand if the occasion of his Rage were just or not did stop him and caused him to return unto his Bed Oh Mounsieur said the Man unto him Be pleased to assist me against my Enemies I have a Wife worse than any Dragon she is so wicked that she dares to commit her whoredoms before my own eyes Sir said the Wife making a courtesy to Francion Let us depart from this place I beseech you with all the speed we can I am possessed with so great a fear that I dare not stay any longer It is not my Husband that speaketh now but an evil Spirit that is entred into his Body and usurpeth there the place of his Soul which is departed above 6 hours ago Ah! said the Husband Was the like Villany ever known She would make me to believe that I am dead to the end that she might enjoy my Goods and the Company of that Man with whom she leads a wicked and a wanton life At that instant there came out of the next Chamber a handsom young Fellow and an antient Woman who both of them very resolutely declared That the Taverner was dead and that they ought to see him buried How now Sirrah said he to the Young-man Sirrah you are as much dead as I am Get you out of sight I shall live long enough I hope to see you hang'd Sirrah Thou shalt be punished I dare assure thee Thou hast committed a greater fault than if thou hadst attempted with a knife to cut my throat for thou wouldst have me buried me alive Moreover thou art an Adulterer and hast polluted my Bed with yonder She wolf This Dispute seeming very strange to Francion he desired to understand the Original and Ground of the Complaint and causing them to hold their peace who began to cry out and make a great noise he desired the Taverner to give him a full account of the whole Story whereupon he thus spake unto him Sir It is now three years since I have been married to that She Devil whom you see It had been farre better for me to have been put into a Sack and thrown into the River for ever since I have lived with her I have not enjoyed one Minute of Rest She will ordinarily make quarrels with me for things of no moment and will scold so loud that not long since being unwilling to to goe out of Doors by reason of the great Rain that fell I was constrained to stop my ears with black wool and I know not well what Napkin I did wind about my head to the end that at the least I might not hear her because I was resolved not to go forth As soon as she perceived my Intention she determined with her self that I should hear every word she spake and throwing her self upon my Bed she ceased not untill she had pull'd off my Biggin and then putting her mouth to my ear she cried out so loud that eight days afterwards I was quite deaf But all this is nothing Observe how brazen-fac'd she is She saw me once speak to a young Maid of this Town immediatly she gave a bad apprehension to it and taking a knife in her hand when she was going to Bed she said That by the grace of God she would geld me to hinder me from going to any other but her self I was at that time in a patient and a pleasant humor and smiling said unto her Do nothing Sweet-heart in the first heat of your choler the Time may come that you dearly will repent it She made answer to me Villain Do you take no care for that I will have nothing any more to do with you I can have Men enough and those that are far more lusty than your self Tell me Sir If you did ever hear of the like Impudence Neverthelesse I did forbear to strike her at that time and I do verily believe that if her Choler had not been appeased I had suffered the disgrace to have been gelded by her Her threatnings which oftentimes she made unto me to provide her self with a Sweet-heart were put in Execution She made choice of this young Fellow to serve her in a Corner But good God! Was there ever misery like to mine My wife is the most precious Fool in the world when other Lovers are accustomed to give something to their Sweet-hearts this
she 's a Woman said Francion and not insensible of the communicative pleasures with a person whose merit is agreeable It may be in hopes to finger good store of Ducats she may prostitute her Body to the desires of such a silly Coxcomb but she will never bend the inclinations of her mind to love him and when she sees his Purse empty she 'l empty her thoughts of the affection she made him believe she bare him Do the worst you can Agatha as soon as I can get this crack in my Crown cured I le go again secretly to see my Mistresse and receive of her as much satisfaction as my passion can desire This discourse ended Agatha took leave of the Company and setling her self again in the Cart she advanced towards her Niece's dwelling-place with whom she had no desire to treat in that manner as she had threatned Francion for she resolved to make his game sure with Lauretta without letting him know it and give the Lawyer the Lurch This wretched sort of people are and have alwaies been greatest observers and onely admirers of those that give them most or entertaine their boundlesse thoughts with highest promises yet we scarce ever finde any of them arrive to any competent Subsistence Their life is interwoven with continuall Miseries neverthelesse their insensibility robbs them of Remords and fils their vaine hearts with joy yet 't is but a false one a meere shadow of delight and farre different from that reall hearts-ease attends those that live uprightly We have here seen Agatha's deportments and heard her speak in termes very dissolute But the nature of the Comedie requires those expressions rightly to represent the part she was to personate yet that 's not capable to make us wrie our Soules to the desire or practise of Vice quite contrary it renders Vice more hatefull to see it so lively pourtraid in its true colour Hereby we may learn what diverse Persons account delight is nothing but a debosh'd Brutality which all well temper'd Spirits will ever abominate and shun The end of the second Book THE COMIQUE HISTORY OF FRANCION The third Book AS this pernicious old Hagg bade adieu leaving those had heard her discourse much satisfied with her facetious stories into the Inne came a Coach which the Gentleman who had laine with Francion sent for to his own house in the morning betimes And after dinner seeing the Rain was past he ceased not importuning the Pilgrim till he consented to take place in the Coach telling him he was big with desire to be honor'd with his companie at his house where he might be confident to finde as good entertainment as he could expect in the unknowne Village whither he intended to goe I must acknowledge my selfe exceedingly redevable to Fortunes kindnesse continued he for addressing me into the company of a man whose acquaintance I shall be proud to purchase Coming last night with no other attendant than my Lacquay from visiting a handsome Widdow in this Country named Helina after I had supp'd with her as I pass'd this way to shorten my Journey homewards I was arrested here all night by an ill favour'd Accident which now I blesse as the cause of my greatest happinesse It was the breaking of my horses legg as he leap'd a Ditch but I would not for fifty such Coursers have missâ—d the incounter of so deserving a Person In acknowledgement of these grand civilities Francion return'd those compliments he judg'd most requisite and having said in the close of his discourse for recompence of such signall favours he would not stick to part with his blood life or any thing else could be demanded of him the Gentleman replyed That for the present he expecteâ— no further testimony of his Gratitude than that he would please to recount him the Dreame had entertained his fancy the night before So overcome with Courtesie as the Coach trundled along the pleasant Plaines Francion thus began Sir Since your ingenuous spirit desires to be recreated with the Chimerical fancies of a troubled Brain I will tell you the most Extravagant you ever yet have heard imposing on my owne accord this Law upon my Lips that if any impertinences they let fall disrelish you I shall close them with the Seale of Silence as soon as you please to discover your dislike You should never make an end said the Bourgundian Gentleman interrupting him if you would continue speaking till I bid you cease for you can say nothing but what is extreamely to the purpose and will create singular satisfaction in the hearers And though what you dreamt may be void of Reason and without Order yet I will lend you my best attention that I may the better track your fancy and pick out some signification I shall hold you no longer in expectation of the contentment you so much desire replyed the Pilgrim though I am confident Artimidorus himself would want a thred to lead him out of this Labyrinth After I had ended my Story and bid you good-night I suffered my fancy to stray after an infinity of severall thoughts I fell a building rare Designs touching my Love and Fortune the two Tyrants that prosecute my life and being thus busied I was unawares surprized by sleep I first fancied my self in a solitary Plain where I found an old man that had large Ears and his Mouth shut up with a Padlock to open which it was impossible till the Letters that serve to compose these words IT IS TIME were assembled at the key-hole Perceiving the use of Speech was forbidden him I demanded the reason of his Tongue 's restraint thinking he would have answered by Signs but placing certain hollow Horns to his Ears the better to receive my Voice he pointed with his hand to a little Wood as if the dumb language of his gesture had sent my Curiosiry thither for satisfaction When I had made my approaches something near I heard a confused pratling noise that did but unpleasantly mend the old mans defect In the midst of many others there were six Trees which instead of leaves had slender Tongues tyed to their Branches with so loose a thred as every blast of wind which then was somewhat boystrous still knock'd them one against another This Concussion made them break into a Chat so loud as I might over-hear them brawl confusedly and exchange their spight in most reproachfull tearms The Contest had not continued long before a mighty Giant that was laid under the shade suspecting they would reveal somewhat he desired to keep ever secret unsheath'd his Cimiter and gave his Arm no respite till he had beaten them down and cut them all in pieces yet they retained still so much of life as made them often leap from the ground and indeavour to continue their injurious Prattle But his Fury soon found a greater cause of increase for passing something farther he spied me leaning against a Rock where he knew I might read an ample relation
you can follow my Counsels and allow of my intentions But let us now pursue our more agreeable discourse After that Francion had made his Host and his Hostesse perfect friends he came down being followed by them to have the reckoning paid which was no sooner cast up but it was immediatly discharged Moreover he gave unto them three Pistols of gold to invite them to remember him when he was gone and in the remembrance of him to appease all their old differences and he promised them that he would give them a greater Donation if he were advertised that they continued in the obligation of their love But if he heard to the contrary he threatned rigorously to punish their new dissentions It is said that his Remonstrances were of great efficacy and that ever since they lived in peace and have had Children A certain man who came to dine at the Tavern observing the bounty and great gifts of Francion did bear a great respect unto him and seeing him to take horse did take horse also and understanding that he travelled the same way he did desire to accompany him The first discourse with him was the praising of his Liberality from which he fell to the dispraise of Avarice of which he told him he could furnish him with a most remarkable example of a Gentleman who lived in a Village where the next night they were to lodge He is the most wretched man said he that the Earth did ever bear his Tenants are most unhappy to have such a Landlord he doth exact upon them in a thousand ways The last year he made them believe that he had a great desire to goe to the war for the service of the King and that his poor Tenants must be at the charge to give him two light Horses neverthelesse he did not goe at all but only made a journey to the Court where he stayed about a moneth He sent afterwards to them a company of the Gen-darmes which belonged to one of his friends to satisfie his malicious Avarice who had plundered them to some purpose but that reflecting on his own profit he thought it was more discretion for him to pillage them himself and he was sorry that by his dayly extorsion he had made them so poor that they could contibute no more unto him You will hardly believe how he hath caused them to be puninished both in their bodies and their purses when they have gathered up but some small sticks which they have found about his woods When he hireth dâ—y-labourers he at his pleasure putteth back the clock and makes them to work two hours longer than they are accustomed to labour in other places He keepeth all his Servants in the most penurious way that possibly can be imagined When he putteth Pease or Lentils into the Pot to be boyled he doth count them one by one and hath learned Geometry on purpose that his Compasse may serve him to measure the bread to know how much they have eaten Never any man could make his boast that he hath Feasted with him When his friends if he hath any doe come in and enter at the fore-door of his house to see him he for fear to entertain them doth go out at the Back-door and takes his walk in unfrequented places where it is impossible to find him In his house there is no difference at all in their Diet and for his Grooms he taketh none but those who are of a melancholick or a Flegmatick complexion because that those who are of a cholerick humor are commonly too great Eaters One time he entertained a Cook but he soon afterwards desired leave to be gone professing to him That if he stayed any longer in his house he should forget his Trade This Covetous wretch observing his Children to grow up did one day complain of it contrary to all other men who are very glad to see their Children to increase in years hoping thereby to receive a sudden and absolute contentment by seeing them either well married or to be indued with some eminent quality or signal virtue for their advancement His reason was That for himself he never makes himself ready but on Sundays only and on Holydays when he goes to shew himself in his Parish Church and he then he puts on a Linsy-woolsy frock upon his Cloaths when ever he comes home and he will not adventure to stir from his feat on that day so great a fear he hath to indamage his apparel by wearing It is reported that the best habiliments he hath are those of his great Grandfathers by which he is somtimes pleased to be known and which most carefully he preserveth intending to bequeath and intayl them with his Benediction to his Posterity On working-dayes he is covered altogether with raggs As I remember said Francion you called this person Gentleman Do you believe in good earnest that he deserves that title living a life so fordid One of the most principal Ornaments of Nobility is Liberality Sir said he who did accompany him I must acknowledge that I have failed in calling him Gentleman although he hath many Lordships for by descent he is no Gentleman at all His Father was one of the greatest Usurers in France and made it all his businesse to give pernicious advice to others to heap up money and to sow dissention Neverthelesse his Son and his Daughter who are one of them at the Age of Twenty and the other of Eighteen do nothing partake at all of the humors of his race They are both of them indued with generaous Souls It is pity that they have a Father who will do nothing to advance them His Daughter is very beautifull and wants for no attractions to procure her Sweet-hearts but what is she the better for it A man can never find the opportunity to court her she is always at her Mothers elbow a woman as miserable as her Husband who will not permit her to go into any Company for fear it will cost him too much to put her into good habiliments Nay which is more Signior Buisson who is her Father is so fearfull to disburse his money that he will not hear of any Husband for her His Son is at this present a Prisoner partly by his own will and partly by force for he desireth not to be seen abroad and accompany other Gentlemen of his rank having neither apparel to grace nor train to attend or silver to assist him either at play or at revellings Not long since he was even with his Father who being faln sick and not able to travel to the City to pay a round sum of Silver which he owed to a Merchant he was constrained to his great grief to commit the charge thereof unto his Son for he was so miserable that he would hardly trust himself with his own Goods His Son being tempted with that profitable metal which he seldom carried about him did determine to keep it for himself And instead of carrying
little Nymph of the Woods Oh Heavens how glad was I to see my self trick'd up in such gay rayments and have alwayes some young gallants addressing their courtship to me as if I had been some Lady of high quality But the presents I received were not of such Value as to defray our Charges which were great as well for Diet as House-rent Besides Perretta would have the happinesse as well as I to play the Gentlewoman a little before her death So that in short time I saw the end of my Gold and had nothing to live on but my bare industry One evening Perretta condoling with me the Calamities of the Times we heard a bustling in the street Her curiosity carried her to the Doore to see what the matter was But she admired when a man running as fast as his legs could beare him put into her hands a Velvet Cloak lined through with a rich Plush without speaking a word to her I thought it was because he knew her for her fame was sufficiently spread about the City and in all the Academies of Love she was the Lamp that gave light to all Women of her vocation The Pawne she had received thus by chance was extreamly welcome and we fell presently to ripping it by Candle-light lest it should be knowne when we carried it to the Frippery We hop'd the money we should get for this purchase would besides relieving our present necessities furnish us with an indifferent stock to maintain us till more came But next day as we sate talking with an honest man that often used to visite us we heard one knock below the Maid had no sonner open'd the doore but in rush'd three sturdy Souldiers and asked for the Mistresse of the house She hearing them inquire for her went down to know their business one of them presently stepping to her said Pray restore me the Cloak I delivered you last night as I passed by this way Perretta not willing to part with such a prey denyed she ever received any Cloak of him and said she knew him not so well to take any thing from his hands to keep This made them word it high and raise such a Tintamarre as invited me to descend to know the cause of that disorder but coming into the entry I presently knew one of the three demanded the Cloak was my former friend Marsault startled and in some confusion at the sight of him I retreated and hid my self fearing to be discovered by him Mean time the contestation grew so hot as the chief Officer of that ward receiving notice of the difference came thither with his guard not so much to decide the quarrell as to get his share of the Booty Observe but this passage a little and how just this Man of Justice was Those that contended with Perretta were Thieves and he knew them to be no better yet he stuck not to affirme the Cloak they had stollen belonged to them as if it had been a Prize taken from an Enemy and condemned Perretta to restore it them So she knowing the power of that officer in those parts and how much it concerned her to gain his good opinion would not provoke his indignation by appealing from his sentence but confessing she had indeed received a Cloak she declared to avoid further dispute she was willing to render such satisfaction for it as he should ordain though of the Cloak it self it was impossible for her to make restitution having already sold it and if he and the three Souldiers who laid claim to it would accept of an entertainment at her house they should be very welcom and see the spending of all the money it yeilded her Small invitation served their turn they consented to the first motion and were ready without further delay to accept the offer The Maid was presently sent to all places likely to furnish in a moment wherewith to cover a table Mean time when I saw Marsault come into the Room where I was I chang'd my colour in one instant oftner than a Cameleon could do all his life and for my further mischief he that sate talking with me went away so I was inforc'd to entertain those that staid Marsault regarded me with attentive eyes and observ'd my actions and tone with an astonishment not ordinary For he began to harbour a conceit I was the same Agatha with whom he had formerly contracted so familiar an acquaintance but my change of habit made him distrust his judgment At our meal there was no spare of Liquor our Guests drunk into kinder humors acknowledged themselves fully satisfied of Perretta because our Professions had need of each others support we tyed our selves by mutuall Oaths to preserve an inviolable amity and favourable assistance to eternity This done they retir'd to their own habitations and next day Marsault fail'd not to return with five of his companions in better equipage than those I had seen the day before After some discourse of indifferent subjects taking me a little aside 'T is but in vaine said he for you to indeavour to conceale your selfe I know you well enough To which I presently replyed It never was my intent to keep any thing secret from his knowledge and he must excuse me if the precedent day I made him no adresses nor discovered him my condition in regard I thought it not so convenient because of the other persons then present Satisfied with this Reply he began to examine me what I had done with our Masters mony I suspecting he would urge that question whensoever he found opportunity had prepared confidence enough to make him believe Monsieur de la Fontaine after much search finding it in my Coffer had taken it againe from me and afterwards turn'd me out of doores As for my present condition it required no admiration for he might easily guess how I put my self into that gallant garb and which way I maintained it Thus in an instant were we reconcil'd and the knot of our friendship being made faster now than ever by the renewing of our mutuall embraces he took his turn to speak and giving me a particular account how he came to Paris and what manner of life he had chosen He told me being no longer able to stoop and subject his spirit to the stern commands of severe Masters he met with a gallant man of his own Country one of those I saw who had instructed him to seek as he did himself occasions of adventures night and day and robb all they could and in further vindication of his profession he assured me there were great numbers of Blades in Paris that lived by no other trade and had severall marks among themselves that distinguish'd them from others as to weare all red Cloaks low Collars their Hats truss'd up on one side and a plume of Feathers on the other whence and not improperly the Vulgar imposed upon that Fraternity the name of Plumers Their exercise by day-time was to wander about
fetch'h her an hundred Livres which was about the summe she told Marsault she wanted After he had counted it to her in her Chamber he whisper'd Marsault in the ear and bade him remember his businesse and he having discoursed a while in private with Perretta returned him this pleasing answer that overcome by his courtesie she was resolved to faile in the fidelity she had promised to a great Noble-man to comply with his desires and give him the opportunity of enjoying me if his passion could dispense but with so many houres delay as the Sun required to compleat his next dayes course The time for this amorous appointment being expired my Lover came to our house attired I think I might say tired with a suit covered all over with very rich Gold lace For though the King had forbid his subjects those superfluities he who was a stranger took pleasure in such Gayes on purpose to be the more noted by wearing Cloathes out of the Common Mode All his body was most curiously spunged and bath'd in perfumed waters for imagining he was to lye with the Mistresse of a Grandee accustomed to the sumptuous treats of high persons he thought he must not accost her in any meaner way lest he should be despised When we were together in the Bed I must confesse I did not observe the Precept Perretta and Marsault gave me which was not to impart the sift and last favour of Love nor suffer my Amorist to exceed the Priviledge of these foure Preparatives Seeing Speaking Kissing and Feeling For why should I dissemble I consider'd not so much the profit they assur'd me I should reap by counterfeiting a nice unwillingness as the pleasure I then felt tickling and provoking my appetite to the free injoyment of those Delights the heat of Love communicates in such encounters Beside the curiosity I had to try if there were more contentment with a Forreiner than a Frenchman this Gentleman was so fair so sweet and had so delicate a skin that in faith I must have been less humane than a Tygress to refuse making his Needle touch the Pole its point stood towards with so much vigorous sympathie Our Commissary who had quickly notice of this new Purchase came to have a Gleaning of our Harvest while we were in the closest embraces you can imagine Perretta op'd him gently the doore with admonition to play his part discreetly At his arrivall I rose hastily conveying my selfe in my smock betwixt the bed and wall and my Lover distracted at this surprise hearing him say To Prison with her ran presently to his sword but was hindred from doing any execution by a Serjeant and his Assistant who furiously seized his Arme threatning to provide him a lodging at the Kings charge After a multitude of fruitless supplications he considered his best way was to make use of that divine Metall the whole world is inchanted with and lightening his pockets of some Crowns of Gold he stopped the mouths of those greedy Curres so well as they soon gave over barking and left us in full liberty to renew our sports in Bed This was the first Alarm but not the last nor the most dangerous for as these Rascalls spirits were revived and the fear dispersed which had almost congealed their Bloud and rendered them as stupid as if they had been stunn'd with the sodain stroke of Death being ready to make themselves merry with his money one knocked like a Person of Authority at the doore which presently unbolted up comes one of Marsault's Companions clad like a Lord indeed into my Chamber with three others at his heeles who by their respects and distance seemed to be his Servants I who was acquainted with their Mummerie made my Bed-felow believe this was the Noble-man maintained me and desired him to hide himself behind the Hangings This vapouring Cloak-twicher who personated the Grandee to the life proudly asked Perretta where I was She 's already in bed answered she for we expected not your coming this night besides she has a paine in her head that indisposes her very much Came not my little Page hither this Evening to tell you I would not fail to visiâ—t her replied the Brave We see him not said Perretta What a young Rogue 's this continued he I shall teach him to doe what I command He 's trifling away his time at play somewhere among his companions I thought to have bin here sooner but after waiting on the K. at supper I was constrained by his Majestie 's particular command to retire into the private closet with him to receive the honour he was pleased to doe me by the communication of some of his most secret intentions I came but immediately from thence and because I would not go home to my own house I have commanded my servants to bring my supper hither This said one of his Attendants covered the table while the rest brought in severall dishes of meat My Lord was no sooner set but fell to work with his Chops and after drinking a glass of wine and wiping his Mustachoes with a notable affected gravity Agatha my pretty Mistress said he to me aloud are you asleep Shall we have no Love-toys to night At these words as if I had awaked out of a sound sleep drawing the curtain a little aside I answered rubbing my eyes I would do what he pleased You must rise then for a while and eat a bit said Perretta to me I am sure you have not supp'd and I believe your disease consists onely in opinion It is no matter whether the Disease indisposed me a while since were imaginary or not replyed I since now I feel my self absolutely cured So putting on an under Petticoat and my Mantle about my shoulders I stept out at the farther side of the Bed and came round about to pay my obeysance to this brave Lord. After saluting me You had somebody said he behinde the Bed to help dresse you or I am mistaken yet I see no body come forth after you Be pleased to pardon me answered I there 's no creature living but I am sure I heard a coughing not like yours really continu'd he rising from the table I must know who it is Steward bring the candle here This said he threw all the curtains open and spied the English Gentleman shivering behind in a corner Then with a countenance inflam'd with a counterfeited fury he vented his rage on me in these termes How now you impudent Whore Do you abuse me thus You could feign Chastity and Reservation to intrap me and yet make a beggarly Rascall here come lye with you which is a favour I could not obtaine of your Jadeship till you saw my Passion was growne to the height of extremity What an affront is this to a person of Honour Ha! You 'le repent it at leisure To morrow I le send to fetch away all the Goods I had given you and you will finde it no easie matter to meet with
to have in our former dwelling for there it was very meane having but a slender stock of money left after our too extravagant expence This miserable life I believe was a principall cause of a great indisposition besieg'd Perretta for Melancholly and discontent to see her self fallen from a plentifull condition to calamity gaining the ascendance over her Spirit the good woman felt her self drawing neerer dissolution and therefore as most People use in like extremity she would impart some documents before her death Considering me as her daughter I received from her dying mouth very apparent testimonies of a Cordiall affection of all her secrets and Maximes she profess'd she concealed not any from my knowledge and besides gave me divers wholesome Counsells which I have since made good use of In summe no scruple nor superstition harbour'd in her heart She lived so roundly that I imagine if what is reported of the other World be true the rest of humane Soules now play at Bowles with her's She knew no more what belonged to remorse or Cases of conscience than those of Topinambou for she said if she ever had heard any discourse thereof in her youth she had lived long enough to forget it as a thing that serv'd for nothing but to disturb the Mind's repose She had often told me before the riches of this World are so common that they ought not to appertaine more peculiarly to one than another and that it argued ingenuity and wisdome in any one to take a share though out of others hands if fortune favour'd the designe with a convenient opportunity For said she I came naked into this World and naked I will return If I have got any of others goods I shall not carry them with me let them goe seek where they are and take them it nere shall trouble me What! If I should be punisht after my death for committing that which they call Fellony or Theft might not I with reason answer my accusers that 't were injustice to bring me into the World to live and not permit me to take those things requisite to maintaine a Life After severall such discourses her soule took leave of her Carcase which I buryed without any Pompe as she injoyned me for she know there was nothing more unnecessary Soone after her decease I procur'd some new acquaintance that furnish'd me with a little Belly-timber But the losse of my good Mother was so sensible besides the ill hap I had to incounter now and then some persons too well acquainted with my former carriages that I resolv'd to leave Paris and to remove my station to the City of Roan My Beauty was yet powerfull enough to attract me many Visitants but making no respect or distinction of Persons in effect being a stable for all Horses among others I met with a running Nagg by whose virulency I was so paid that in short time I found my body infected with a foul disease Cursed be those brought it into France it disturbs the pleasures of well disposed people and it is favourable to none but Chirurgions who indeed owe Candles to one of our Kings for leading his Souldiers to Naples to get it there and bring the seeds of it hither The onely happinesse in my misfortune was that an honest and gratefull Chirurgion to whom I had done some courtesie before physick'd me for much lesse than any other of his profession would have taken I will not entertain you any longer with these Ordures though I know you are none of those squeamish people to whom a foul relation savours as ill as the thing it self Let it suffice to tell you I took a voyage as they say in Bavaria to see the Emperour inthron'd and at my return I found my face so changed I was inforced to make my recourse to Art Painting Waters and Perfumes were the daily remedies I used to repaire the ruines my Body and Face sustained Besides I began to consult my Looking-glasse for new attractions practised a certain affected manner of speech that infinitely inchanted those I had a desire to intrap At last a man very rich and without office became so vanquished by my charms that he took me into his own house to injoy me there with more liberty I grant he might have found a handsomer Mistress than I and so he confessed himself but there was something in my humour sympathised so with his disposition that he preferred me before all others of my sex The cause of our Separation proceeded from a little brangling betwixt us because I made more havock of his goods and spent his money more lavishly than he was willing to permit The practice of my first profession being yet fresh in my memory that was my present refuge I applyed my selfe eagerly to it a long time refusing no body that brought what would help to make the Pot boyle While I was in the height of my trading a certain Meacock that was soon after to be married desirous to know before-hand in what parts to attaque his enemies in Cupids combats where he never yet had shewn his valour was addressed to me by a Kinsman of his to receive instructions Having been at my Lodging one Sunday after dinner and informed I was gone to the Sermon thither came he to finde me out At his arrivall the Preacher falling upon the relation of the first part of Mary Magdalen's life inveighed bitterly against Courtezans and represented so lively the pains prepared for them in the other World that my Lover said to himself he might well enough go back again or seek another Mistress to do him that courtesie imagining I should be touch'd with too much remorse by the end of the Sermon to continue that life any longer But at the Sermons end he finding opportunity to accost me after he had discover'd me his thought of my conversion I return'd him this answer which perchance in your judgements will savour of much impiety However it is no matter I come not hither to make you believe I repent of my past iniquities Insooth Friend my soule must be very weakly principled to be startled at the stories this prating Monk has told us Don't I know well enough every one must follow his owne trade He makes it his profession to amuse the simple people with his Prattle disswading them from haunting debosh'd and lewd companies where they idly consume their time persons and purses or become ingaged in some desperate and unnecessary quarrell And I exercise my part to quench the Concupiscense of men by Charity Thus was my Novice paid and being a good silly soule according to the stamp of that old ignorant Age when people wip'd their Noses on their sleeves he wonder'd at my libertine humour which he took to be very wicked and inconsistent with his goodly Religion To make my story short we went together from Church to my Chamber where I read him a Love-Lecture and taught him what he desired to learn but
you with College Apothegms which I could not tell how to avoid since they lay so pat in my way And to the end I might adde a greater torment to my Pedants spight finding that he made use of all occasions whatsoever to cloak those chastisements which he was resolved to inflict on me I fell hard to my studyes and quite abstained from all kinde of waggish knaveries insomuch that my Master was ready to run wilde and to lay some supposed crime to my charge so strangely was this ignoble and base Soule transported when as his exorbitant avarice was not satiated and by his basenesse and wiles I had like to have suffered Shipwrack had not my Money come in time which I resolved to present unto him in the same manner as the Pedants had introduced it to satisfie their ever-gaping purse by presenting him a curious Cristall glasse full of comfits with a Lemmon in it in the ryne whereof I had not stuck my Gold as it was the usuall custome but had thrust it into the Lemmon it selfe through the hole which I had made therein And presenting the same unto him with a Counterfeited melancholy visage I told him Sir you know that I am farre from home and the Messenger hath not as yet brought me that which is requisite for your yearly Present in the meane while I doe present you with this from my selfe as an earnest of ten Crowns in Gold which you shall receive within these fourteen dayes This faire Promise did even pierce through the hard rock which environ'd his heart and obstructed his being moved with the respectfull amity wherewith I accosted him He accepted the Glasse and thanking me with a smiling countenance poured the sweet Meats into my Cap and gave the Citron to a favourite of his not knowing that it was as pretious as any Apple in the Hesperides Garden and that I might have the more pleasure I let him alone but when I saw that the Lessons were all given and that the least boy was ready to goe forth of the School I went to the favourite and sked him if he would change his Citron for my sweet-meats which he agreed unto loving the sweet-meats better than the sower Lemmon and at the same time we returned towards our Domine whom I pulled by his long fleeve as he was correcting a Theam and asked him smiling if he would see my Citron at which words I opened it in the middle and shewed him the Gold between the clouds telling him that he should not stay so long as I told him for his Gold no said he as he took the Gold this is then for me I will give you the Citron againe and praising me not a little for my subtilty and wit he blamed me for hazarding the losse of my Gold whilst he was talking there the Scholars applauded the jest with their Books which they clapt against the Formes as is usuall on such like occasions and with eagernesse had like to have broken their Satchellstrings Benches and all After which that shye and untractable Animal being now fully tamed and appeased used me with as much civility as he did the others but it was not my Fortune to enjoy these his Caresses long because my Father sent Letters for me to goe into the Countrey to assist at the wedding of two of my Sisters which were to be marryed in one day the one to a brave gallant Gentleman and the other to a Councellor of the Parliament of Britany so thither I went along with the Messenger nor was I ever gladder in my life for all my businesse then was to make good chear and be merry Neverthelesse the great desire I had to learne the Arts and Sciences caused me to beg leave of my Father to returne against the Feast of Saint Ramy when the Lectures doe againe commence at which time I was about thirteen yeares of age and was exalted to the second Classe and so consecutively in the ensuing yeares I was preferred to the rest and thus finally I past the whole course of my Studies But I shall not trouble you any more with the severall passages incident thereunto and which befell me during the said time for I feare it would but offend your eares and I have almost tyred my selfe with relating such fopperies since I may give you a more pleasant entertainment Good Lord Sir said the Burgundian gentleman do you thus cruelly deprive me of the recitall of your most pleasing adventures doe you not know that these Actions of our youth are extreame pleasing and that we delight our selves in hearing the adventures even of beggars and base fellowes as of Gusman de Alfaracha and of Lazarillo de Tormes And how then should I not reap a great deale of satisfaction to have the adventures of a Gentleman and a Scholar who thereby giveth an evidence of the subtilty of his wit and of his great cunning even during his youth I but Sir said Francion give me leave to tell you that you will reape a farre greater satisfaction when I shall tell you what befell me in a riper age for these are more serious passages and wherein you will find a far greater contentment Whereto the Burgundian answered assuredly I can expresse nothing but wonders at the rehearsall of your Courtiers life for I have already heard some incredible passages thereof by certain persons who came from the Court Wherefore I could wish that you had already attained to the relation of it and that you had run through all your several Classes although you should have been whipt above ten times at each of them lesse I would not willingly have you skip over any or anticipate time Whereunto Francion made answer Sir you doe very graciously represent unto your selfe things as if they were present and truly I am not a little obliged unto you for your favour in desiring I should be often whipped where thinke you shall I meet with a breech that may be able to resist so many assaults and if you be in earnest you shall doe well to have an Armour of proof forged for my Bum which you must have painted over in flesh colours or else be pleased to lend me that skin of yours Take you no care of that said the Burgundian we will provide for all And in this manner they entertained themselves with these and such harmelesse Discourses which must not of necessity be forgotten although they are not of so high a strain as many others for without them our History would not be compleate Our drift herein is to behold an Image of the life of Man so that it must be performed by severall representations The History of Francion's Father it is true doth demonstrate a Country Gentlemans life who in his Youth hath seen something of the Warres and who as yet hath a Martiall heart which despiseth all other conditions or qualities of Men the sordid avarice of some Lawyers which is there very aptly described as well as
know very well that he was said the Countryman And his Grandfather also said the Advocate He was so said the Countryman Sir Have you any Patents to shew for it said the Advocate to Hortensius No said he for since my Ancestors have advanced themselves by their Vertues we need not any Patents from the King The generous actions of my Progenitors which without discontinuance have declared themselves to all the world have made themselves known even unto Envy and if in those days they had been recorded in Letters they had before this time been defaced by age or consumed by Rats I do believe you said the Advocate But you honest Man said he speaking to the Countryman Tell me if the Father of Monsieur was ever in the Warrs during his life Yes Sir said he I dare assure you The Advocate replyed Being returned to his House from the wars did he alwaies wear a sword as the badge of his Condition The Countryman found himself to be here surprized for Hortensius had not instructed him how be should answer to such a Proposition without speaking an untruth in the end he told him that he had alwaies seen him wear a great Whittle and of a good length at his girdle and said moreover that he did never goe out of doors without one Iron Instrument or other What Iron Instrument said the Advocat it possibly might be a Spade No Sir said the Countryman it was a Gleave being unwilling to use the name of Sword or Whittle Did he live like a Man of quality said the Advocate How many doggs did he keep None but one answered the other What dogg was that A great Mastiff replyed the Countryman He did not go a hunting then said the Advocate Once replyed the Countryman I saw him hunt the Wolf who devoured his sheep and to show his valour at one blow he killed him with his Sheep-hook This last is the most remarkable of all said the Advocate and smiled he made use of his Sheep-hook when he should have imployed his Harquebuze and yet this Man had been a Souldier But what did his Mastiff do He served to keep his flock when sometimes he absented himself from them being imployed in the making of small Crucifixes of wood and other little Figures as well to avoid Idlenesse as to gain something for the sustenance of his life At that they began to laugh outright which had been louder had Hortensius not been present they all desiring to use him respectfully that they might receive more pleasure from him As far then as we can learn honest Friend by your Discourse said the Advocate the Father of Hortensius did keep sheep and was constrained to work with his hands for his daily bread but he need not to be ashamed at it said the Advocate and smiled to himself for having read so much he is not ignorant that Princes sometimes were Shepherds and the Innocence and Tranquillity of that Condition is yet highly esteemed Hortensius observing that the Error which the Countryman committed was unpardonable was contented to affirm that this Father was not the lesse to be esteemed because he kept a flock of Sheep for being discharged of the tumults of the War he believed he could not better relish the sweetnesse of peace in any other condition But Fremond drawing her mouth an inch and a half wider than ordinary and mopping at him assured him that he might look him out a Wife somewhere else and that she would not have a Husband whose Father was of so base a quality and that she was afraid for possibly Hortensius had kept a herd of Swine in his youth that in speaking to her he might believe that he was yet speaking to his hoggs and would use her as he did use them and that all the world pointing at her with their finger might say Behold there where goes the young Sow Madamoisell The disdain hereof did put Hortensius into such a fury that it proved a saving Antidote against the poyson of his love which immediately he turned into hate and without saying Adieu to any one he flung out of the Chamber and made fast the Door after him for fear they should fetch him back again He came directly to the College to acquaint his Usher with his misfortune In the mean time the Countryman and the Servant for additions who stayed behind were examined upon certain Interrogatories and they found that this glorious Pedant did come almost stark naked to Paris and was constrained to beg until he had found a livelihood His Servant for additions did think to return to him but he dismissed him when ever he saw him as the folly he committed did deserve and the Countryman did go from him without a recompence since he had destroyed all his Hopes In the height of his Rage he did write a Letter to Fremond in which he inveighed against her with a thousand pedantick names he called her Medea Megera 1â— siphone He told her that since she would not be a Rose and be gathered by a Noursling of the Muses who had drank more than one Bucket ful of the Fountain of Aganippe he desired Phoebus to metamorphose her into a Thistle that she might serve to feed Asses that he saw well enough by the example of Jupiter who was transformed into a Swan a Satyr and a Bull to delight himself with his Mistresses that he must be a Beast who obtaineth any thing from a Woman and especially from her whom he esteemed to be the only Woman in the world that is to say who had the greatest part of that inconstant and brutish humor which pertained to her Sex Afterwards he came to reproaches and to shew the greatest basenesse in the world he reckoned the expences he had been at to entertain her and her Company and assured her that he would have saved that money but that he was in hope to have espoused her and told her in the conclusion That since he was frustrated of his expectation his Expectation was that she and all those whom he entertained should by turns give him the like feast one after another I was the Mercury of this Missive but I carried not the Charming Rod which is a sign of Peace for I came to denounce War Fremond would civilly have answered his outrages to have alwaies enjoyed the extraordinary mirth of his Company She did write unto him that she minded not the Injuries with which he defamed her because she knew that he was prepossessed with passion and that she alwayes highly did esteem him by reason of his knowledge but she said she could not make him her Husband because he was not of that quality which the present custome of the age did require which she was inforced to follow neverthelesse she would always bear an honest affection to him to recompence his own And for his Banquet there were none that should be in his debt for it for her Cosin should feast him first and afterwards all the
words five or six times and pulled her by the hand to make her understand him believing that she either slept or had some other thoughts in her head I am not deaf said she I understand you well enough It is for your sake replyed the Villager that I doe wear this Sea-green point in my Hat for a friend of mine told me that you love that colour so well that you have at least three Perticoats of it The other day going to the Vines I looked a hundred times if I could see you but missing of you all the night afterwards I dreamed of you I am so much your Servant A hundred times and more by Gis I would have laid Pyebald against the best Mare in my Brother-in-Laws teem that there is not a Maid of such a smiling Brow in the whole Country as your self who are the pearl of humidity and generous entertainment Doe you mock me said the Servant Maid or is it your pleasure to say so Ho said the Villager it is not so Ho replyed Rabina it is so Ho said he again my Mother coming from her sheep Ho my Mother hath spoken to me of you If you have a mind to marry you have no more to doe but to speak the word He did not expresse his intentions more clearly to her but to shew the greatest infection as he callâ—d it which he did bear unto her he did lead her forth to dance a Galliard where he did so fling up his Legs and hold down his Arms and carried his whole body so ill-favour'dly that he seemed to be either frantick or possessed with the Devil I observed many other wild postures of rusticity which are too long in this place to recite It may suffice that I saw a new Art of Love practiced quite contrary to that which gentle Ovid did describe All this while Clerantes with a heedfull eye did observe whatsoever was done and a great many of the Gentry of that Country arriving he minded the Wedding no more but did goe into the Hall where the Citizens Wife was gone before him The Signior of the Castle observing how he had bound up his head did say unto him How now honest fellow who was it that hath broke open the Coffer of your Understanding It is one who will not cure it said Clerantes counterseiting with his voice as much as possibly he could I have so wicked a Woman to my Wife said he that I believe she hath in her Body a little Devil Oh Gentlemen my heart is ready to break so great is the anguish she doth put me to God is my witnesse how often I have endeavoured to make her virtuous by beating her back and thumping her belly but I could never do any good on her although I have heard that those of her Sex are of the disposition of Asses and Nut-trees from which no profit can be had unlesse they are often and soundly beaten I am a Cooper by my Profession and do not play on the Cymball but only upon Holydays The other day being not able to make her desist from abusing me with the help of my Servant I did put her into one of the largest Tubs and afterwards closed up the Tub with the Head-pieces of it so that she had no air at all but only at the Bung hole I took my Pully and let the Vessel fall down into my Celler and by and by I would pluck it up again with all the strength I had and immediatly I would let it fall down again into the Cellar and in this hot exercise I continued as long as possibly I could and she within was so tormented that I thought she had repented her self that she ever had offended me but clean contrary to what I propounded to my self she putting forth her mouth as well as she could out of the little window of her lodging did call me a thousand Rogues and spoke many other reproachfull words not to be indured In the end I was constrained to let her alone to passe away her choler by her self In the Evening a cursed desire did possesse me to take of her my ordinary pleasure to which I am so accustomed that I cannot live without it so much as one night unlesse I should suffer so much torture as if I were burning at some fire Neverthelesse I resolved with my self not to take her out of the Tub fearing otherwise that she would have committed some outrage upon me as oftentimes she had done before on a far lesse occasion Sweet-heart said I Kisse me here at the Bunghole and afterwards we will live in peace No No said she I had rather have in Hell the friendship of the Devil than thine Upon my faith said I unto her I will do so no more that is to say I will beat thee no more but will alwayes endeavour to please thee and be always doing the best I can Therefore before thou comest forth give me six kisses and that being done I promise that I will relieve thee from thy Prison That offer overcame her obstinacy and she accorded to what I did desire and bringing her mouth as near as possibly she could to the Bunghole I did put forth my lips as far as ever I could to reach her mouth but do what I could I could not come at it In the end I was enforced to take her from the place where she was so much my desire did transport me After we had sufficiently sported our selves she began again to quarrel with me and to tell me that she knew well enough that I had been playing the knave with a young Woman that was her neighbour I know not how she came to understand it for I was so valiant at that time that I did her as good service as ever in my life but neither good words nor good deeds would serve her turn for she was angry beyond all measure The Sun rising did see our contention and was witnesse that she threw a charged Pissepot at my head with the edge whereof she hurt me as you see and I dare assure you as far as I can perceive that I deserved no blame at all This Story of Clerantes did make all the Company to laugh outright but especially the Citizens Wife who propounded many petulant questions to him One of the Gentlemen of the Company did command him to sing him a Song Immediatly he played upon the Cymball and did sing one of the best Songs he had Being invited to sing more and having no more to sing he told them that they must call me for I had all the variety of the bravest Songs in the world The wedding stayed without a Violl or any other Musick to content the Lord of the Castle to whom with all speed I addressed my self My voice accorded with my Instrument I did sing all the modest Songs that were ever made by others or which I had composed my self in the height of my debauchment when I had the Glasse
Realm who of his own accord did offer to accompany him to the Rendezvouz of the Court which was interpreted to be a great incivility because the true reason of it was not fully understood But this was not his Masterpiece for you are to take notice that he had a rellish as well of the exercises of Mars as of Venus He had not been long in the University but he was possessed almost with an obstinate desire to make experience of his valour He observed that no Gentleman was respected unlesse he had fought a Duel or two therefore when he was high in wine he had a great desire to quarrel and to raise his discontent to such a height of insolence that it might seem worthy of a challenge But he was no sooner fresh and in good sense but he considered with himself that he might as well be overcome and mortally wounded as be a Conqueror He had no mind to that sport He would only be beaten as Belleroze was in the Comedy He would have the thing done which was yet to be done and if possibly it could be effected he indeavoured that some Man of Credit troubled by a false vision should publish to the world that he had seen him in many dangerous incounters although he never was really in any At that time there was at the Court a Baron of a phantastical humour who being one of the Counts acquaintance did comply with him in all things Having a long time discoursed of Duels and of the valour of the Age they concluded on a project for Honour which shall be memorable through all posterity Since all the Worlâ— did beat on another they had a desire to beat themselves without exposing themselves to that danger as so many other young Fools are accustomed to doe They were expressely resolved to make a tall quarrel in some eminent company and immediatly afterwards having severd themselves they plotted to be found in some place out of Town with their swords drawn swords that had no more metal in them than their Masters with which they should make a flourish and traverse their ground and keep a clashing until some should clap in to part them it matter'd not whether they were Travailers or some of their own Grooms who must know nothing of their counterfeit valor because they might speak afterwards of their Combat to the greater advantage The Count flattering himself with a belief that this was the only way to procure him Reputation did say And what evil is there in it Shall we sin against the laws of Virtue Is it rashly done to enter into those rages in which we observe many of the Nobility to be dayly ingaged Why should not we make a gallant venture of our lives as well as they And because in these times Men are only esteemed by the number of the Duels they have fought we must although dissemblingly practise the same Arts because there is not other way to gain us reputation Let us put the Case that sometimes a kingdom may be given to a Man for committing some evil act he who hath not committed the act but hath dissembled he hath done it to gain the Crown will still find comfort in himself how cruelly soever other men judge of him Let us accomodate our selves to the Age and make an advantage of our misfortunes if we cannot remove them The other approving his reasons and resolutions they concluded upon some phantastical subject to quarrel in the Tilyeard in the presence of divers Gentlemen The Count affirmed it imported not if the occasion of the quarrel was never so small for they who fight Duels on the least occasions are the only men who are now esteemed because they make such little reckoning of their lives which on all occasions they doe hazard In this resolution the Baron and the Count taking horse they parted from their Company by several ways and passing over Newbridge towards the Evening they came to Cherks Field where alighting from their horses they took their swords in hand They made choice of a place where they might be seen of all so that they no sooner made a clashing with their swords but the Citizens and the Souldiers did make hast to part them One who stood near unto them did swear unto me that the Count even then said unto the Baron Be not so violent in your motion Make but gentle thrusts and such as easily I may put by Moreover it was observed that they did fight in the same posture as if they were dancing the Pyrrhique dance observing a tune and method in clashing their swords one against the other This neverthelesse was not taken notice of and they were intreated to be reconciled To this counsel they were very obedient and they did put their Swords into their scabbards again contenting themselves to allege that it stood neither with reason nor honour to make their passadoes before so many people Ascer this their friends arrived having followed them upon an imagination that they were gone to fight with one another They came back together into the City where they were made good friends and their desperate Duell was every where published to the advantage as well of the one as of the other Tell me was not this an Heroical resolution and if in their in Infancy they had taken any fall by which they were hurt could they not make the people believe that they were scars which they had received in some former Duell Me thinks when they fought they might have clapped to their sides a hoggs bladder full of blood by which they might have counterfeited themselves to be wounded Neverthelesse for all this Artifice their glory hath been since renowned over all the Court as hath been the glory of many others who are no more valiant than themselves I had not known their deceipt were it not for one of their Grooms who did conceal himself in the Chamber of the Count when they made the plot and since hath published it The Count did find himself so highly and generally esteemed for having hazarded his life in this single fight that he hath been ever since dazled with the overcoming splendor of his own glory The other day he would have challenged one of the Kings Receivers because he saw him too often in the house of a Gentlewoman whom he loved but he was confident before hand that he would never answer him although according to the colours he did wear he was habited like a man of the sword He did write a challenge to him the form whereof he did take out of Amadis and sent it by the Groom of his chamber The Receiver having read it did return this Answer Tell your Master that I am not at this present in a disposition to fight I am a Man of peace and will satisfie him in whatsoever shall be requisite Let him imagin that he sees me in the field with my sword in my hand and fighting against him Let him imagin that
not the pleasures of Love Francion entred being assured that it was permitted to him so to do he found there four Gentlemen and five Gentlewomen sitting in chairs in a Corner and moving no more than so many Statues At the last one of the Ladies began to speak and gravely commanded him to repose himself on a chair which was brought unto him My good Friend said she you have offended Raymond we are here present to arraign you I desire said Francion who much was amazed at these strange proceedings to understand what Crime I have committed against him You do pretend to be ignorant said one of the Gentlemen you shall by and by hear your charge After that these nine Judges had discoursed amonst themselves to advise what sentence they should pronounce against him the Lady who did speak first of all being seated in her chair again did deliver her self to this effect Having considered the offences which Francion the most ungratefull and most perfidious Knight that ever sought after perillous adventures hath committed against Raymond who did intreat him as courteously as was possible We do ordain that he shall be put into the hands of the most rigorous Lady of the World to be punished according to his merits This judgement being pronounced Lorretta came forth and Francion was surrendred to her mercy Never man was more amazed he knew not whether he ought to rejoyce or be sad Raymond immediatly entred and imbracing him did take all amazement from him He said unto him My dear Friend This is the time that I will give you the testimony of the affection which I doe bear unto you having prepared for you all the delights that I possibly can devise I have sent to seek out your Loretta that if you doe still love her her presence may convey some secret joy unto you and which is more I have caused five Ladies to come hither one whereof is my Helena if you please you may make choice of her These four Gentlemen are the bravest personages in this Country and the most worthy of your Company One of them is Signor Dorini the Italian of whom I have already spoken unto you and for the others you will have sufficient experience of their worth All that we have to do is to deport our selves in the height of all Debauchments The hatred which I pretended to bear unto you was only to render now more gratefull the fruits of my love I have so great an opinion of the constancy of your Soul that I knew well enough the assurances that were made unto you that undoubtedly you should die would cause no disturbance in it For the rest I was constrained to exempt my self from seeing you and to make you keep your Bed that I might have the greater advantage to provide what I conceived to be necessary and to indeavour to make you passe away this day in the excesse of pleasure and delight Francion made answer to him that he could not believe he did bear that ill will unto him which was reported and speaking those words they entred into an obligation of an inviolable and a perpetual love to one another This was that which passed betwixt Raymond and Francion and in effect Raymond to gratifie him did promise to make him such cheer that the like was never seen and their debauchment was yet greater than can be imagined Wherefore O you young men and maids who have not yet lost the flower of your Virginity I doe here in a good time advertise you to read no further but to skip over this Book which doth make a rehearsal of those things which you do not understand It will be told me that I may leave it out but know that the History would be imperfect without it for in books of Satyres as this it is the same as in the bodies of Men who when they are guelded are the Subjects of all mockery and hatred I have already declared that having undertaken to inveigh against all the vices of men and to deride their follies I ought to represent many things in their native colour to make them the more ridiculous There is nothing so unknown but sensual Men can speak far more of it which is the reason that we will adventure through all and you are to consider that it is done without the least evil design and merrily only to passe away an hour or two We will in this place declare that Francion was not afterwards much amazed to see himself so apparalled as he was because he beheld that Raymond and the other Gentlemen were attired almost in the same fashion The Ladies themselves who were cloathed according to the ordinary fashion were conveyed into a Chamber where habiliments were brought unto them according to the fashion in which we see Ladies many hundred years agoe represented and indeed there is nothing that doth make Ladies to appear more beautifull or majestical At that time Agatha came to Francion to do reverence unto him to whom she related that she had been in the Castle of Valentine and pretending that she would take his Niece along with her to go some ten leagues off in pilgrimage she by that means had brought her to Raymonds Castle according to the plot that was made betwixt them It was there represented to her that she must goe and attire her self as the rest of the Ladies she demanding not the reason being glad that once in her life she should see her self gallant did depart from Francion Not long afterwards she returned being as it were transported with a sudden joy to acquaint the men that they should follow her and she would shew them a pleasant spectacle One of the Ladies being gone out of the chamber where all the rest were did retire her self into one of the fore-chambers that she might there accommodate her self with the greater liberty She had nothing on but her smock only which she had then taken off to shake the Fleas from it and being stark naked she began to rub her thighs and to pare the nails of her feet Agatha immediatly opened the door of which she had the key and the poor Lady hearing the voice of Men at the door did look out some place to hide herself but Agatha had taken all her habiliments from her She was seated upon a Bed to which there was neither Testor nor Curtains there was nothing left but the Mat and the Bolster which she thought good to cover her head with that none might know who she was Being on the further side of the bed she did trusse up her self in such a posture that nothing could be seen of her but her Posteriors only Every one did begin to laugh at the sight of that goodly Object and demanded of Agatha who that Lady was She made answer she would say nothing seeing she knew so well to conceal her self Whereupon Raymond alleged she only hides her self after the manner of some Birds who believe that if they
hide their heads no other part of their body can be seen But it is not with her as it is with those Birds said Dorini for we may discern and know them howsoever by their feathers which always shew themselves but in this posture we cannot know this Lady although we had seen her stark naked before Francion did approach unto her and taking as full a sight of her as possibly he could he embraced her about her middle striving to pluck her from the Post of the Bed at which she held fast that so having made her forsake her hold he might turn her towards him to know who she was by her face But he could not force her from her hold And as in that posture she shewed a pair or the plumpest Buttocks in the world there was one present who cryed out by way of admiraration Oh Gentlemen what a sight is this which I see Raymond who heard him did immediatly reply What is it that you do startle at and have in so much wonder one of the most amiable parts of the whole Body That which in your judgement doth seem to be filthy and ought not to be exposed to the sight of the world It is nothing else but the extreme superficies of the thighes joyned together I take as much delight to behold them as any other part of the Body It is nothing but the opinion of the vulgar that doth render it disagreeable and they are not able to give a reason for it I refer my self to Charron he speaks so himself of them in his Book of Wisedom On my faith you are too nice we will all doe homage to them the others replyed Will you be the first that will begin The scandalous Chronicle here doth add that Raymond having spoke these words determined to put them into effect and that Francion who commended his design did make an Oration to those goodly Demy-globes which incited every one that was present to approach and kisse them and that the Lord Dorini going last of all did find most plainly a certain Northern wind to proceed from her sally-port which gave an ungratefull visitation to his Nose I will not here amuze my self to describe all the particulars which peradventure will not be pleasing unto every one nor assure you that what I heard concerning this is altogether true which is that Raymond proceeding in his debauchments would second the gallantry of those men who in the ordinary tippling-houses drinking in an old shooe do mingle with their wine Cheese and grease of Candles and other honest ingredients and that he sending for wine did pour it all along the back of that fair and naked body and commanded all the rest to come and drink it up at it was running down her cleft Let us remove our observations from so slovenly an entertainment and not to blemish the reputation of our Cavalliers Let us imagin that they only contented themselves to speak some words in praise of those goodly Buttocks and that one did call them the Queens and Princesses of all other Buttocks and that another wished that they might never sit on Nettles but always on Cushions To reserve our modesty we will in some sort decline from the censure of scrupulous Spirits and I believe the frolick humours which are here contained ought not to give occasion of affront to any for the greatest part of this book is only made to laugh We may take unto us the liberty to rehearse some of the pleasant adventures which are arrived to men of an evil life for it is permitted us to laugh at their expence For the rest all these debauchment are very true and I doe give you them for such and doe so expresse them that I may not be blamed for reciting them Even those whose particular design it is to condemn them in a serious stile must to set them forth repeat them also as well as my self and I am confident that I deliver them in those words that are more capable to make men to hate them than to love them for I protest I approve of no actions which are contrary to Vertue I will therefore proceed on with our History without fear Let us say then that after our Gallants had finished their pastime with this Lady who would not shew her face they would have entred into the Chamber where the other Ladies were but they would not open the doors unto them and the reason why they would not suffer themselves to be seen was because they should not know who of them it was whom they beheld in that naked posture in the other Chamber Therfore they all departed without knowing any thing of her at all Francion coming down the stairs among the rest seeing Collinet demanded of Raymond by what means he came into his Castle Raymond made answer Some of your people did bring him along with them from the vilage where you left him He came not out of Paris in my company said Francion His Servants then that came to wait upon him did acquaint him that Collinet being deprived of His company which he loved better than Clerantes would never leave enquiring until he had found the way which he took when he came out of Paris and by little journeys followed him till he had found him out I will tell you said Raymond what a pranck he played this morning Seeing Helena to alight from her Caroach he began to walk up and down the Hall in a Majestick garb as if he were a man of some great authority in the House and Helena being entred he only putting his hand to the brim of his hat said unto her Good Morrow Good Morrow Madam who is it you would speak withall She made a civil answer that she would speak with me and going a little further she sate down in a chair not far from him Their discourse was on ordinary subjects in which Collinet did shew no defect of Judgement He enquired from what place Helena came of what Country she was if she were married or not and what Revenue yearly belonged to her house and deported himself with so great a gravity that Helena beholding him to be well apparalled did take him for some personage of Honour and although she is constantly discreet and deliberate enough she durst not lift up her eyes to behold him But he could not long contain himself in these terms of modesty and reason he must shew his disposition And doe you come to see Raimond then said he I am very glad of it He is one of my best Cosens He gave me a good Supper last night when ever I came within his doors and made me feed on the best green Pease that I ever did eat in my life Sir said Helena you are too generous to love your kinred only for the poor courtesie of a Supper Let us talk then Madam of something else said he Doe you love to be tumbled and laid on your Back for on the faith of an
honest man you shall presently be so we doe all proceed from Generation and propagation although we look as old as Cato himself You begin to be uncivil Sir she replyed who would have thought you would have these words Will you contest then will you be obdurate to me said he Speaking those words he would have taken hold of her to put his design in execution but she cryed out so loud that I was enforced to come down from my Chamber to hasten to her relief She demanded of me if I had sent for her to be used as one of the most debauched Women in the world I suddenly appeased her having told her what a distracted man Signior Collinet was But my dear heart said Raymond unto Francion Take you no care for she will not be so cruel to your Indearments and the Loves you shall make unto her no more will any of her Companions we shall find them to be of a flowing disposition Let me alone to give you content I will recompense you a hundred fold for the silver which heretofore I did take from you Francion having thanked him for his courtesie did goe to Collinet and said unto him that he did esteem more highly of him than of those men who conceiving themselves to be wise did glorifie themselves and yet had more vanity and folly in their Spirits than he had in his For that said he which is ordinarily taken for the greatest wisedom in the world is nothing else but folly error and defect of Judgement as I can make it to appear if it were needfull And we ourselves who sometimes do believe that we do wel to imploy our time in Love and Feasts and Mummeries shall find at last that we doe but deceive our selves and that we are but very Fools Sicknesse will afflict us the debility of our Members will surprize us before we can arrive to fifty years of age Leave off that Discourse let me beseech you said Raymond I am not now in the humor to give ear unto these Preachments neither do I well know if you are in the humor to make them Having spoken these words he departed from him to entertain a gallant number of Gentlemen and Burgesses who lived thereabouts whom he had invited unto Dinner with some brave Ladies who were a little more chast than those that were there already who came down into the Hall most richly attired and Francion having whispered and demanded of them Which of them it was who had shewed her Buttocks did mark them all very curiously to see which of them did blush that he might discover her by it but there was not one of them who had a Countenance more shamefac'd than another neither did they give any answer at all for she of whom he did speak intreated her Companions not to discover her so that for the present it was concealed from him Not long afterwards there was covered a long Table which immediatly was charged with such a diversity of Victuals that it seemed they had taken almost all the Creatures of the Earth to devour them at one Dinner When they had satisfied their greatest hunger Raymond told every one of them that He must observe the Laws which were inscribed on the portal of the Door to chase from them all shame and resolve to make the greatest Debauchment that was ever heard of Immediatly all the Casements of the windows were shut and the Curtains being drawn Candles were lighted for they would not have taken so much pleasure in that Course of life if they had seen the day Every one sung his Song with a glasse in his hand and they told so many merry Stories that they would make a Volume by themselves if they were all particularly related The Women having lost their shame did rehearse also the most wanton tales that possibly they could remember A Gentleman upon some Discourse told them That he would recite unto them one of the most notable stories in the world and thus began There was a Curate in our Village who loved as well the Company of a Woman as of his Prayer-book I beseech you Sir said Raymond that you will forbear to repeat it We must not speak of those People although they do offend It belongs to their Bishop and not to us to reprove them If you detract them you are to be excommunicated and to be numbred amongst the Libertins of this Age against whom so much Warr is waged Be not so rash as to fall on that Subject The Gentleman held his peace and all the Company having approved his opinion not to speak against those of whom already so much hath been said that no more can be added they determined with themselves not so much as to think that there was a Priest living in the world They found that there were enough of other Conditions of Men to be condemned from whom the depravations of this Age did receive their Original It is true that in the beginning of Heresies all the World made the people of the Church the subject of their Discourse There was no Account conceived to be witty that had not a Priest in it Erasmus Rablais the Queen of Navarr Marot and divers others delighted themselves in this Conceit and before them many Italians Neverthelesse we must avow That all this hath not the power to divert a religious Soul from the Path-way of Faith and at that time when it was shewed us that our Priests were very wicked it was not to conclude that our Religion was evil So Boccace who in his Novels did shew himself to be the Master of an excellent spirit doth tacitly accuse all those who speak of the People of the Church which but few Men do take notice of He informs us that a Jew at Rome having observed the wicked life of the Priests and Monks did not for all that forbear to make himself a Christian affirming That he plainly perceived that our Religion was the best because it subsisted and every day did fortifie it self in spite of the exorbitances of the Church-men and necessarily it must be That God had a particular Care of the Church Raymond had these considerations and moreover he alleged That weak spirits do believe all which they apprehend without diving into the depth of Causes and that to avoid Scandal it is alwayes Good not to meddle at all with the Dispencers of holy things I have been my self of the same Opinion and you shall observe that in all this History I do not so much as touch on the Priests at all The Gentlemans story being thus interrupted they discoursed afterwards on several other Subjects A certain Lord who sate near to Francion did shew him Agatha who was placed at the upper end of all the Table and whispering him in the ear did say unto him Sir Know you not the reason wherefore Raymond hath in that place seated that old Woman who seems to be rather a piece of some old Cabanet than a
did not give unto him due honor and that he exchanged not with him Complement for Complement He enjoyed an absolute liberty in whatsoever place he was insomuch that he confessed in himself that he never did lead so happy a life and he had always kept himself in that Condition were it not that sometimes he had most violent fits of his amorous Feaver which did inflame him with a desire to see his Nays Neverthelesse when occasion did sometimes present it self to tast a little of the sweet pleasures of Nature he was not so scrupulous as to believe he offended his Mistresse therein He oftentimes did take his Lute with him into the fields and the hand somest and most lovely maids of that place would forsake their sheep to hear him play under the shade of some Copse or in some Cavern Wehn he was alone with any one of them he did not forget to use his best indeavours to gain her There was a brown Lasse amongst them that did infinitly please him but he could not arrive to the end of his desires which was to enjoy her if one day in private he had not advised her after he had done playing with the Lute that he could play also on another Instrument so well that she would be even ravished with the harmony therof howsoever he would not have that Musick to be made known to all the World She who took great delight to hear him sing did most incessantly beseech him That he would make her so happy as one day to partake of that rare Musick I will said he provided you acquaint no body therewith for I desire not to manifest to the world what I can do Come to me to morrow to the Wantons Cave you without all doubt shall find me there with my Instrument which I will not forget to bring along with me The Brown Lasse being as glad as if some great Treasure had been offered to her did not fail on the next day to come to the place that was appointed which was unfrequented by the Country people Well said she I see you keep your promise He made answer Yes I am ready to do you service She thereupon did sit down close by him and intreating him to shew her his Instrument and to play therewith He said unto her Sweet-heart You never saw so miraculous a thing as I do use to produce my melody To conceal nothing from you I have not my Instrument made either of Wood or of Horn the Harmony proceeds from the Members of my body which doth produce it altogether The Maid then imagined that in using certain gestures and some strange motion of his Body he had the art to make his bones so to crackle as to make some other kind of an agreeable sound Or else he had some melodious knack with his fingers Or with his hands did so strike on the other members of his body that there was a certain concent of Musick in the noise which it produced But soon afterwards she perceived that there was something else to be done for he said unto her Sweet-heart Since you will have pleasure you must take some pains your self I cannot exercise my artifice alone you must joyn with me in it and help me if you please Shew me then said the brown Laste that which I must do Immediatly Francion did imbrace her and kissed her at his pleasure afterwards he endeavoured to accomplish the rest Oh God said she you do me wrong Let me alone Patience said Francion the Event will be better than the Beginning Immediatly she was ready to swoun away with pleasure finding I know not what extraordinary sweetnesse And observing that Francion began to retire from her she said unto him What! Have you done already you have but just now begun Oh my Sweet heart said Francion I did truly prophecy that it would not hurt you and you would desire that the Melody lasted longer Truly so I do said the Girl your Musick is so sweet that it makes no noise at all one cannot hear it but one may feel it with delight enough Is there no way for us to begin again Dear Sweet-heart said he All good things are rare and hard to be obtained This is of the same Nature But tell me and speak truly Have you not found a great deal of pleasure in that which I have done I should have lost my senses said she if I should not confesse as much Some time after that pleasant entertainment they had the means to begin again their incomparable Musick which was no lesse agreeable at that time than it was before After this the brown Lasse did go every day to find out her Minstrel as soon as ever she could get away from her Fathers house but she was so full of tongue that she revealed her secret to one of her Companions who desiring to participat in the Contentment did come along with her to give a visit to our Shepherd in the Melodious Cave This brown lasse did make a request to the Shepherd for her but at the first he seemed to stand off and to make strange thereat and checked her much for having discovered that which she had promised to conceal Neverthelesse he gave them both smooth words afterwards and said that he would content her Companion because she should not vex him with her daily importunities to have her to tast of the same pleasures The brown Lasse did deliberate with her self to be gone for a while to give him the opportunity to play with the other and thereby she did the Musitan a great Courtesie who in one time could not render them both intirely contented Her Companion stayed with him and making some resistance at first as if she was unwilling to endure that which he had a desire to perform she proved at the last the sweetnesse of his harmony The brown Maid being returned demanded of her Companion how she found her self and if it were possible to imagine any thing that was more delicious Truly said she I am beholding to you but in this I find nothing at all which is new unto me for a Groom of my Fathers did cause me to understand as much as this many years ago This Shepherd doth no more than all other men do nor is he more cunning in his art than they are Say that it be so replyed the brown girl yet I had rather that he should give me this Contentment than any other whom I know for he is a handsom Man and I will never endure that those foul Clowns whom I see every day should approach me as he doth by putting their bodies and their mouthes to mine If you take him for that said the other I must excuse you for you have the best reason for it in the world and the handsomest Musician amongst them all But have a Care that his Musick prove not dangerous to you for it may be Nine moneths hence to your amazement another young Musician may come
they have made a good Book would perswade us withall that their persons are indued with excellent qualities not weighing with themselves that even loose and lewd Men do sometimes accomplish a good Piece Let the World then take notice that I take things at another turn of the Scale than these Men do and being attended with more Innocence than Vanity I cannot but with some reluctation affirm That if I confesse I write well it is because I find it to be so poor a perfection that it is no great glory to become Master of it if I find not my self withall to be Master of other perfections with it What is it for a Man to boast that he hath overcome and surmounted all Misfortunes and that he knoweth how to govern Nations but only to demonstrate that he is the Master of an insolent Spirit If there are any who will not be contented with this reason and will take distast at what I have said I do let him alone to believe what he pleaseth and that my Book being petulant all over all may be taken for railery which I have spoken That which maketh most for me and which clearly sheweth that I do not mind the reputation of a great Writer is That having not put my Name unto my Book the glory which I do give my self can convey unto me no profit at all I am a meer stranger to this Impertinence against which an Antient Writer hath so much cryed out who having made a Book upbraiding the vanity of those who by their Writings would purchase renown unto themselves did not forbear from naming himself the Author of it I have not been so vain as to commit the like fault after I have so much misprized that glory I am not ignorant of the subtilty of Phydias who being forbidden to write his Name at the foot of the Statue of Minerva which he had made did draw his own Pourtraict in a little corner of the Buckler of the said Goddesse that there it might be alwayes seen but if I should find room to set forth my self in some part of my Book wher it might be discovered who I am I do believe that I should not do it At the least I am most confident that I should never suffer to have my name printed in the Frontispiece or first Leaf of the Book much lesse to have it pasted on the Walls of the City for it is not my humor to take pride that on every Sunday my Name should afflict the Doors of the Churches and the Pillars in the corners of the Streets Nor should I glory to have it seen amongst the Titles of the Comedians or to see it on the Walls keeping Company with those who professe they cure the Pox and broken Bellies I doubt not but many seeing my resolution to conceal my self will have as great a resolution themselves to enquire after me and will importunately desire the Booksellers to acquaint them who I am I will therefore send them back with that brisk answer of the Lacedemonian who being demanded by a Friend whom he did meet with what he carried under his Cloak replyed to him The question which you propound unto me is in vain for if I had a Desire that you should know what it is I would not cover it With the same mony I must pay those who have too much Curiosity concerning this Book and I am content that they should take it to be as some Infant â—ound in the Streets who hath either made up himself or who hath no Father that can be found to take care for him Do the Readers believe that I am obliged to acquaint them with my Name when I can never learn their Names and when an infinite number of Men who are never to be of my Acquaintance shall read it in my Book If there be any to whom I shall be obliged to discover my Name it shall be to my intimate Friends who will take my pains in good part when those who do not know it will peradventure blame me finding that I did addict my self to such petulant and idle Subjects when I had so many serious Thoughts to deliver As Francion was speaking this Raymond was very attentive to him and said unto him I must confesse that you have the most noble and the most generous apprehensions in the world I should be never a weary to listen to you You exquisitely do expresse your self on a variety of Subjects which do all deserve to be recorded and it seems to me that the Readers of your books should be glad to find there the like advertisements which you now declare You do too much oblige me said Francion but I dare assure you That it is most necessary oftentimes to make an Advertisement or a Preface to the Reader for many particulars are there oftentimes contained which conduce unto the advancement of our Understanding neverthelesse most men are so carelesse that they seldom or never read the Preface not knowing That oftentimes there is more there than in all the rest of the Book and the Author there makes manifest with what spirit he is endued One day I demanded of a Gentleman of that humour wherefore he did not read the Prefaces He made answer because he believed they were all of one making and having read one of them in his life he conceived it was enough he conjectured also that the Contents and the Title resembled one another But let not those do so who shall have my Books within their hands if they will oblige me to have any esteem of them Let them be carefull to read all my Prefaces for I am most elabourate in them and insert not any thing which is not usefull I will be none of those Readers said Raymond that shall fail in that particular But tell me I pray you what is the Book which you composed last It is a pleasant History said Francion It is already made and yet not one word written of it It is a sharp and a pointed Satyre on the minds and manners of some men of whom I assume the liberty to speak most freely and because the stile is not ordinary and I cannot give such a Title to the Book as is able to expresse what it doth contain I will call it The Book without a Title That shall be the Title of the Book and if that shall not be the Title of it howsoever it will agree well enough with such a fantastical piece The Subject on which I will expresse my self shall be to decipher the life and the vices of many persons of quality who pâ—etend to be grave and serious and have nothing but Hypocrisie in their hearts And as the Book doth bear a Title and yet is without a Title so I hâ—ve thought upon another thing which is very agreeable to it It is to insert an Epistle Dedicatory which shall be no Epistle Dedicatory or at least to dedicate it without having of it dedicated at all
Mummeries at that season of the year which w â—s off from Shrovetide Nays entertained them honourably and at that time many invited Ladies did arrive to see the new King of Polonia He shewed himself so courteous that he would not sit down unlesse that they were seated also For the Gentlemen to testifie their respect unto the Prince were contented to be bareheaded and to lean some against one place and some against another The first Complement which Nays spake was that she was excessively glad of the happinesse which was arrived to the most excellent personage in the world and she had now a reason to believe that God would destroy Mankind no more because he was pleased that the Scepter should be given to such a one who would restore the Universe to its Primitive Beauty That which Madam you ought more to admire said Buisson is that of a small thing he hath vouchsafed to make a great one as if a Pyramid should stand on its own spire and so indeed all things do increase the smallest Rivers do swell into a Sea an Acorn grows into an Oak and our King who was almost nothing is now advanced into a Potentate His life is governed by a Destiny contrary to that of Dionysius the Tyrant who from a King descended into a Pedant but he from a Pedant is promoted to a King Learn to speak more modestly said Hortensius How foolish and inconsiderate is your youth I deny not said Hortensius that I arise but from small beginnings but what need this be spoken We ought to forget all which is passed as if it had never been and we ought to believe that Fortune is drunk and doth not know what she hath done her self when she sendeth calamities unto Kings How many Kings have been known to come from a sordid pedigree that have not been esteemed the lesse for that Tamberlan was a Swineherd Agathocles was the Son of a Potter and to put him in remembrance of his Parentage he commanded that they should mingle Vessels of Earth with those of Gold and Silver It is well known that Ausonius who was a good Author Composed this Verse Fama est Fictilibus coenasse Agathoclea regem c. But without going so far One of the Kings even of our Polonia was a Labourer and yet in memory of him they laid up his Sandals in the Treasury It is an observation of no use Besides it is well known I am not of so base a Pedigree and if peradventure I were I ought not to be esteemed the less Look in the Romances all over and you shall find what a cognizance there is Chariclea was believed to be the Daughter of a Priest but she was proved afterwards to be the Daughter of a King Daphnis and Chloe were conceived to be the Children of a poor Shepherd and it was afterwards discovered that great Signiors were their Fathers and I believe that the passages of my life being interwoven with so many wonders I shall be acknowledged at last to be the Son of some great Prince They will bring me my Cradle my Muckinder and my Hobbyhorse garnished with pretious stones which will add faith to the Nobility of my Race My Heart tells me so and I am confident it is not in vain that I make this presage for the celestial inspirations are never found to be Lyars It is easie to be seen that I am of the Royal Progeny for never any Man had so great a desire to be King as I have All this which you represent unto us is true said Francion and moreover take notice that the year of Jubilee approacheth and we ought not to doubt but that many Princes who have made clandestine marriages will then discover them to receive absolution for their offences I have heard it reported that on the last Jubilee there were some Potentates who acknowledged in this manner their own Children Hortensius did still hold some discourse in consideration of this Subject observing that Audebert did for bear to be attentive to him being busie in communication with Du Buisson insomuch that although he had taken his Table Book to write down all that which the King should say yet he had not of late written any thing at all he made a sign to him with his eyes and then said unto him Audebert write down all Do you not observe that this is remarkable I have put down all already saving the Latin only said Audebert Whereupon Hortensius all along did dictate to him the Epigrame of Ausonius believing it was something of great consequence to his life which convayed an incredible pleasure to the standers by But Du Buisson who could not hold his peace did say unto him Sir I know but one word of Latin and it is Simia semper Simia Heretofore you have spoken it your self and now you prove it Observe but this Wagg said Hortensius yesterday when the Gentlemen of Polonia had told me that their Compatriots had given unto me the Scepter of that Nation I believed that I should want nothing but Jeasters about me to be a King but now I see I shall not fail of them All these Answers of Hortensius seemed admirable to the standers by and at every word the Ambassadours would lift up their hands to Heaven speaking with admiration in the Latin Tongue O how great is this his wisdom He is as full of sweetnesse as of clemency how contented shall our Polonia be to have him Plato saith That to make Commonwealths flourish Philosophers must reign or that Kings must be Philosophers Behold here one of those Kings which he desireth Since we are informed that he hath been a Regent Master in the Universities he must of necessity teach Logick which is the first part of Philosophy and he must have it also at his singers ends Because that Nays did not understand the Latin Tongue Francion stood near unto her and expounded every word what they said For the French Tongue she did speak it perfectly her self At the last to put Hortensius upon some agreeable discourse she of her own accord did say unto him that she had heard he had a desire to compose five or six excellent Romances some part whereof he had begun she demanded of him if he would now take the pains to continue them He made answer that he now had other things to doe and that he might have Scholars enough to accomplish them for him As for himself he was so resolved that words should give place to actions for he had an extreme desire utterly to extirpate the race of the Ottomans and advance his own person to conquer the Idumaen palmes so that he was determined to put all into Armes as soon as he should come into Polonia Remember me then I beseech you said Du Buisson and give me a company of Carabins upon the Sea Go too then said Hortensius you shall have a Company but I believe that you merit rather the place of the Kings Fool
should be the better able to inform them to whom the greatest places in the Seats of Justice did belong I was ravished to hear this Proposition hoping that I should have the happinesse to see Emilia also although he made not the least mention of her Bergamin knowing that his presence was unnecessary did willingly leave us and accompanied with Salviati I came to the House of Lucinda It was but a little one but commodious enough for a Widdow-woman who lived alone in it Salviati entred into it as freely as if it had been his own and we found Lucinda in the Hall and her Daughter Emilia with her I must protest unto you that I never did behold a more delicat creature I fastned my eyes upon her but as soon as she perceived it she did retire her self into the Parlor Salviati represented to Lucinda that I was the Man of whom in the morning he had made mention to her and that he hoped I should be very profitable for the advancement of her Affairs She received me with very civil complements for she was a Woman of a gallant Spirit and Behaviour and was lovely enough being not so old as the weeds of her Widdowhood did make her to appear Having related to me all along the proceedings of her Husband against one called Tostat who deteined a great part of his Estate from him she told me also how he was killed as he was travelling from Venice unto Padua and that the said Tostat being apprehenhended she came to Rome to follow the Law against him and hoped that being condemned to Death she should have great Damages and Interests awarded her I repeated to her the promises which I had made to her Sollicicitor but I protest unto you I had much to do to remember the words she spake so much was my Spirit diverted by the Beauties of Emilia I could not but curse the Custom of the Italians which do not allow us the civil liberty to look on their Wives or Daughters At the last it so happily did fall out that Lucinda did begin to talk of her which was a great comfort to me She said That she did not much care for any great Dammages the Law should give her for she had enough already to content her during her life having but one Daughter who was shortly to enter into a Religious House and to have no more to do with the goods of Fortune I assumed the freedom to demand of her If it were she whom I saw when I first came into her House She told me Yes and as I did represene unto her that there were some Men who would think themselves most happy to have such a Wife She replyed she was descended of Honourable Parentage but having not means enough to marry her according to her Birth the safest way she could take with her was to put her into a Nunnery We maintained other Discourse on this subject and after that I conceived that I had stayed long enough I took my leave of her Being gone I demanded of Salviati if in good earnest Emilia was resolved to confine her self unto a Cloister He told me Yes and that she only stayed for money to give unto the Prioress which her Mother hoped to receive from the charity of well-affected people For my self said I I shall be ready to assist her but I should be more glad my money should serve to marry her than to retire her from the world He laughed at those words and we discoursed afterwards of her Beauty and her Merit I must confesse unto you that having seen her I was the more incited to do something for her Mother and I endeavoured what lay in my power that she might gain her Processe to the end that she might have wherewith to marry her Daughter according to her Condition and Degree I took my leave of Salviati and visited all those one after another whom I conceived to be capable to assist Lucinda After the end of two days I returned to her to give her an account of what I had done She thanked me most heartily and told me That she should confesse her self to be much obliged to me all the dayes of her life We were then alone in the Hall when behold Emilia came in She seemed to be something abashed to behold me and made as though she would return from whence she came but her Mother did command her to stay which was indeed a very acceptable recompence for the pains I had taken I parlyed to her with that discretion which is practised in that Country and I did not praise her but very modestly Neverthelesse I made it appear that she had touched me within my heart and that I much desired to have such a Mistresse I stayed with her as long as possibly I could and taking my leave I promised her Mother that I would visit some other Lords on her behalf which I performed with extraordinary care I must confesse that Nays is beautifull but Emilia hath such attractions that when I see not Nays I cannot but contemplate on Emilia I no longer did content my self with my antient delights I had rather have perpetually entertained my self with this if it had been possible for me but I found I could not arrive unto it but by marriage only To marry Emilia was not pleasing to me she having no other riches but what were grounded on a Processe which might be as well lost as gained Neverthelesse I deliberated with my self that if I would receive any Pleasure from her it must be by the pretence of Marriage so that oftentimes I discoursed with Salviati concerning her and told him that he must not give way unto her to enter into a Relligious house that it was no true Devotion that did perswade her to it but her Mothers and her own Ambition because for the present she had not wealth enough to Marry her according to her Condition She was endued I said with such perfections that divers persons of quality would take her freely without demanding any Dowry but her Vertue I in that manner did so discover my self unto him that he perceived I did speak of my self of which he was very glad and I believe did advertise Lucinda of it But because I could not see her every time I did go to her Mothers house and could not speak aloud unto her before her Mother it did much afflict me being accustomed to speak freely to young Gentlewomen after the Manner of the French I could not expresse my Love unto her nothing did speak but my eies only but in this Country of Italy but one glance or little action will oftentimes speak more to purpose than all the long entertainments of other Nations I could not be satisfied with that and was therefore resolved to write unto her and to desire Salviati to deliver my Letters To write unto her a Letter of Love seemed to be too bold and too difficult an enterprize for the first time I
not use him roughly enough and because he perceived that they were unprovided of Instruments to rack him Neverthelesse he was resolved to burn his feet Therupon they pulled off his Stockings and took the hot Iron from out of the Fire He then perceived that they were in earnest believed he should be a very fool to suffer himself to be tormented for not discovering the truth He told them then that if they would forbear to torture him he would declare unto them whatsoever he did know Raymond assured him that what he had as yet confessed was of little or no importance and that he had contradicted himself in it and moreover he was confident that he had other secrets to reveal and untill he had declared them to him he neither could nor would be satisfied I will then declare unto you all said Corsegua and more than you do expect Begin then said Audebert and we will unbind you that with more ease you may discharge what lyes upon your Conscience But will you promise then to pardon me said Corsegua I swear unto you that I will said Raymond I told you before said Corsegua that I was a Servant to Valerius and I told you no untruth in it Valerius is a Gentleman of a good Family I many years did wear his Fathers Livery and I have since been a Servant to his Son but I never gained any great fortunes by him for my Master is more in apparence than effect and his wealth is not so observable as the antiquity of his Family neverthelesse I do love him so entirely that there is nothing in the World which I would not doe for him except to give away my life which to speak the truth is more dear unto me than all the obligations in the world as you easily may perceive by me for if I were content to die for him you should torment me as you please rather than I would discover his secrets to you which now I doe for the preservation of my life Understand then that a long time he hath born a deep grudge to the Frenchman that was yesterday apprehended and that before now he hath endeavoured to procure his death having betrayed him into a Castle from whence he thought he should never have come forth He was much astonished when afterwards he heard he was at Rome and that he continued to Court Nays whose good will he had gained This did fill him with such rage and jealousie that I am not able to represent it to you He himself loved Nays for her perfections and for her riches which would have conduced much to have repaired the Ruines of his Family and it could not but be a great grief unto him to lose so good a Fortune Hereupon he was resolved to destroy Francion and to take from him at once both his Life and his Honor by accusing him for coyning of false monyes We have often seen him in the Churches and other publick places and the nimblest and most experienced Cut-purses in this City have had notice of it but they could never untill this morning convey the money into his Pocket Immediatly afterwards we acquainted the Mercers That there was a brave French Gentleman comming up that Street who by his out-side promised to be an advantagious Customer unto them As he passed by they pressed upon him to buy some Silks of them with much importunity but at the last of his own accord he stayed at the Perfumers shop where taking the mony out of his Pocket we immediatly seized upon him and brought him before a Iudge who is altogether at my Masters devotion and will do according to his Direction There is a Man also bribed for a certain sum of Silver who hath accused Francion of divers crimes which he strongly will maintain To render the affair more criminal and undoubtfull I came hither this afternoon with a little Coffer under my Cloak in which were great store of counterfeit pieces I had a design to have conveyed it into Francions Chamber You were then gone into the City and the Servants were sweeping the Chambers I therefore entred without any difficulty pretending to ask for a Friend but I mistook one Chamber for another and instead of conveying the Coffer into Francions Chamber I have thrust it into this I believe you will find it on the further side of the Bed But it was not enough for my Master to have done this He hath given me since the Tools also which they use in the Coyning of false mony which being put into a leathern bagg I brought along with me when I came with the Officers who were all in a confusion My design was to have hid them in some Cabinet neer unto Francions Chamber and then to have brought thither my Companions to cause them to seize upon them as belonging unto him but I could not find the opportunity so to do I have therefore hid the Bagg in the Garret and as I came to advertise the Serjeants of it who had Commission to make a generall search I found that they were all gone and that I was left alone to my own destruction When he had spoke this they searched with a Candle behind the Bed where they found the little Coffer accordingly as he had said but they had no key to open it but by the shaking of it they found that within it there was great store of money at the last they did break it open by force and they found that they were all false Pieces As in a deep amazement they were beholding this Corsegua desired them that they would lend him a little longer their attention and thus he continued his Discourse If what I have now revealed to you should arive to my Masters ear he would be inexorably incensed against me but he hath no cause to complain of me for having done what I have I think I have done enough for him since I have thrown my self into the greatest dangers And because I have declared unto you his secrets there is no reason that I should spare others although you have not sollicited me unto it for I should be sorry that he alone should be accused for an enterprise when he hath others to be partakers with him You shall understand therefore that Nays hath been courted by a Venetian Lord called Ergastus He was heretofore wonderfully jealous of my Master and my Master was as jealous of him but because they perceived that neither of them were accepted and that she neglected their service to countenance a stranger they reconciled themselves to enter into a conspiracy against him and caused him to be imprisoned in a Castle of one of their friends and immediatly thereupon one Salviati was hired to counterfeit disobliging Letters in the name of Francion which were sent unto Nays to make her believe that he grew weary of her service and would abandon her for ever having no mind at all to come to Rome But Francion not long afterwards
than any other Francion fearing that the King of Polonia would grow into a choler and that Du Buisson would not be able to contain himself did alter the scene of the discourse and said unto Hortensius But what are the Laws and Ordinances which you will establish to make your people happy I would willingly speak of this replyed Hortensius that the Polonish Gentlemen who are here present may understand me I will therefore that my Estate be made famous as much for Letters as for Arms and the rather to soften the stubborn humour of the Cosacks who are a Martial people I will cause a whole dozen of Poets to come from Paris who shall establish an Academy and give Laws for Poesie and Romances My desire is that all the world shall make Books in my Kingdom and on all Subjects The Romances shall be no more of Love and War only but they shall contain as well subjects of Law of Merchandise and of Receipts of the Exchequer In this course of Affairs there shall be dayly brave and new adventures No man before me had ever the least imagination of this I am the Master of the Invention In this manner the Draper shall make Romances on his traffick and the Advocate on his practice All the world shall be good Company and Men shall speak nothing but Romances and Verses shall be in such reputation that a certain price shall be set upon them He who hath no Money and presenteth a Stanza to a Taverner shall receive for his pains a quarter of a pint half a pint for a Sonnet a pint for an Ode and a quart of Wine for a Poem and so higher for other pieces This will provide well for the necessities of the people For Bread Meat Wood Candie Cloath and Silks shall be bought according to the price which shall be set upon Verse whose subject shall be the praise of Merchants and their Merchandizes This Comfort shall poor Poets have when they have no money This will I establish for Commerce For that which belongs to Iustice it shall be upright as brief If the cause be full of perplexity it shall be unraveli'd and expounded at the charge of him who shall gain it or he shall have the Law to passe on his side who shall be the most learned Man As for the Laws of War No man shall be entertained into the place of a Captain who hath not by heart Amadis de Gaul and the Knight of the Sunne for without those Books a Man cannot be couragious For other things I have many Stratagems to rout the Turks I will cause Men to be mounted on Chariots which shall appear all in Fire there shall be javelins and Lances of Fire Granadoes and Petarbs and many Blazing Starres and Dragons flaming in the air that the Barbarians beholding how I imitate the Thunderer the Comets and the Starrs shall believe that I am something greater than Mahomet himself I will have great Circles of Christal on the back whereof I will cause certain lights to be placed which shall make them shine as the Bow in Heaven so will I counterfeit the party-coloured Iâ—is that brave nothing which is all things that divine Arbalest that rich Arch which is not to be seen at the Bridge of the Exchange at Paris but at the Bridge of the Angels in Paradise glittering all over with celestial Goldsmiths shops How will these Visions trouble my Enemies How shall they be possessed with the affrighting noise which my people shall make who overcome and they themselves who shall be overcome These Inventions of Hortensius were found to be excellent but Audebert did not forbear to acquaint him that he was amazed to see him resolved on so many and so great Combats for sometimes he had heard him say that he would never go to War but when the Muskets should be charged with Cyprian powder and laden with pellets of Sugar and the powder in the pan should be the powder of Orras He made answer That he feared not the Alarms of war because he had the Right on his side and that neither force or Stratagem should be ever seen to be wanting in him Whiles he spake this the Ambassadors consulted together and Francion who was their Interpreter made known unto him that they could not approve what their King said for they were afraid that the Grandies of their Country would not give way to have their antient Laws to be exchanged into new but Hortensius said That they should then see what would be done when he should prove unto them that his Propositions were just One of the Ladies in the Company of Nays being very curious desired to know if the King of Polonia had not a resolution to marry and Francion propounded the question to him He replyed That he perceived well enough that there was some Italian Baggage who desired to be a Queen but she was mistaken for he would have none but either some Daughter of the Royal bloud of England or of Denmark who above all things should bring her chastity for her Dowry The Polonians acquainted Francion with what they conceived fit to be done and he spake aloud unto the Company That the Ambassadors were afraid their King would but deceive himself if he thought ever to have a Wife who had yet the Rose of her Virginity because it was the custom of their Country to put their Queen the first day of her Marriage into a great chamber where all the Grandies of the Realm did lie with her one after another This did put Hortensius into a great choler who protested he would never endure that Villany and that he had read the Chapter of Polonia all over in the Book of Estates and Empires but it made not the least mention of so execrable a Custom The Ambassadors maintained that it had alwayes been observed and that to know if a Man hath a crooked nose he must not look upon his Picture but he must look upon himself and if his Book were a lyar or a flatterer he must not give so much credit to it as to any thing which properly did belong unto him and that for their own parts they had no mind to abolish the good Custom of their Country to lie with their Queen for being the prime and first of the Estate they were to tast first of all of the Wife of their King The Ladies were all for them in that behalf and although that Du Buisson affirmed that he should take heed how he married in that year of disgrace for without all doubt by the disordered and too hasty revolution of the Sphere when his Wife should be in the sign of Gemini he would be in that of Capricorn yet they counselled him not to lead a single life assuring him that he should never be deceived in his Queen After there several Entertainments all the Company saving Francion took their leave of Nays and they brought back the King of Polonia to his Lodging
There was a great Presse of People to see him passe by The report of his folly was spred over all Rome Some laughed and others were amazed at it For himself he believed that the Multitude was only to admire him and being well satisfied in his own particular he locked himself up in his Chamber as soon as possibly he could with his Historiographer to cause him to read over to him whatsoever he had writ of his Discourse at the House of Nays to correct them in several places where they failed In the mean time Francion entertained his Mistresse with the pleasant extravagances of this new King and to make amends for the time in which they kept a serious Countenance before him they now both of them laughed their fill But because this was not that which did most nearly concern them they soon did alter the subject of their discourse Francion did acquaint her with the violence of his passion and Nays was so touched with a transportation of Love that she did take out of a little Box the Picture of Floriander which she had yet reserved and did give it to him to do what he would with it representing to him That she would not regard any thing whatsoever that should make her think of any other but himself He made some difficulty to take it alleging That he doubted not of her Fidelity and that he was not of so outragious a temper as to enter into a jealousie Neverthelesse he did take it along with him and on his return he did present it unto Baymond Nays being a Widdow although she was the Mistresse of her actions yet she demanded the Counsel of her Kinred concerning her Marriage who although they were not altogether satisfied that she should marry a stranger yet they pretended to like well of it because they did know her to be entire in her resolutions and that she would not forsake them for any Remonstrances of theirs Francion had already made a visit to some of them with Dorini and shewed many excellent proofs of his abilities but their Disposition was not so tractable as to be taken with him the first or second time Neverthelesse the affair did so far advance it self that the Marriage was to be solemnized within six dayes Our Lover thought the time long and did languish during this delay so that he had reason to seek some recreation to divert himself amongst the extravagances of Hortensius Being returned to him he caused him to sup with him in the same Ceremony as at Dinner and Night being come he did sleep in the same bed as he did the Night before The Ambassadors demanded of him when he would be pleased to depart and take upon him the Government of Polonia which longed for his presence He made answer It should be when they pleased but Francion interposed and told him that suddenly he was to be married and that he must do him the honour as to assist at his Marriage which being celebrated they would joyfully go all together with all the French Gentlemen in Rome and that other Nations would follow him also of which he might compose an Army which would make him formidable in all the places he should come The Polonian Gentlemen did allege that they had a Command to make no delay at all in their journey but their Monark did swear unto them That on this fair occasion which offered it self he would stay although he should lose all his Provinces and his Royalties to boot At this the Ambassadors seemed to be discontented and in a garb which shewed themselves to be much unsatisfied departed from him with very few Complements He cause them to be called back and did appease them demanding of them What was the reason they were not satisfied They made answer That their desire was that they may be lodged in the same House with him for it was the Custom of their Princes to allow Chambers in their Palaces to all those of their quality Hortensius made answer He would do that and more also and that he would come and take up his Lodgings with them whereupon he did rise and made himself ready to goe unto their House with them and although themselves did not well like of it yet they did conduct him thither alleging they should receive a great Contentment by it because for the time to come they should alwayes have their King with them and observe his Disposition to be conformable unto theirs They did prepare for him the best Bed they had but on the next Morning having very early put on their riding cloaths to travel to Naples they dislodged without Trumpets and paying their Host but half of the account that was due unto him they did assure him that their Companion whom they had left behind them would discharge the rest When he was thoroughly awake the Host entred into his Chamber and demanded of him If he would have the expences of his Companions put in the same Bill of Affair with his own He made answer That he was not yet to depart his House But the Host replyed The rest are all gone Hortensius demanded If there was never a Polonian left in his House To whom the Host replyed There was never any Polonian lodged here I only do desire to know If you will be responsible for the four Almans which are gon seeing they honoured you as their Master They were in this Discourse when the first Host in whose House Hortensius lodged having heard at Raymonds Lodgings where to find him did enter also into his Chamber and making a great complaint against him he demanded of him the Rent for his Chamber and other moneys due for other expences and called him Impostor for going away without bidding him Adieu because he had not an Intent to pay him Audebert who at Raymonds Lodgings had directed the Host where to find Hortensius and suspected the quarrel that would be betwixt them did follow him afarre off and found Hortensius in a hot disputation with the two Italians Hortensius seeing him was surprized with joy and cryed out Ah Audebert You are come in a good time these two Brothers in Oppression and Deceit do tyrannize over me without respect unto my quality Declare unto them that I shall be a King and shall have Means enough to discharge them Audebert having taken pleasure enough by their Contestation did appease the two Hosts promising them that Hortensius should pay them very honestly and that he would passe his word for him so that they returned him his cloaths again on which they had laid their hands and principally on the little Coat lined with Furr having a resolution to have sold them all and to pay themselves what he owed them for they would not intreat him more respectfully seeing he seemed to them to be but a very Fool. Hortensius having quickly put on his cloaths did depart with Aud-bert covering himself with an ordinary Cloak for he would wear that which was lined