that it required I could not be redeemed and since that the Truth was made manifest if disobeyed no remedy I should be eternally damned Wherefore as I respected my Salvation this Redeemer was to work me and to dispose of me according to his will and whatever I willed was not to be done but to be crossed by my being subject to this Redeemer Upon which there arose a great Controversie in my Spirit of what stood in the will of man and what did not said one Spirit This is in the will when it was not on the contrary said another Spirit as to the same thing this is not in the will and so through fear I should always yield a subjection unto that Spirit by which I was limited and brought under bondage to do many things in my will against my will whereupon I became a destroyer of the will of God as touching that Liberty which was allowed me in the use of my Members either to speak or to act also in the use of those Creatures made for the service of Man and so as those former weaknesses which reigned in me through the darkness of my understanding came to be destroyed my understanding being not then well enlighened greater weaknesses as to the not enjoyment of my self did arise also as one imaginary being in me came to be overthrown there was begotten the like Being in another shape and by it was I wrought upon to believe many things by me undeniable and also led forth and acted from one thing unto another according to what followeth So believing that what was manifested of God in man was the Light of Life which was one with himself as it is written I and my Father are one by which was given unto Man a savory discerning of what was Good and what was Evil what was darknesse which darknesse was to be expelled by this light there remained therefore nothing for the Man to do but to stand in the Will of that which was pure in him and so by it he became a Judge of what impurity or the Law of Sin would act him in which sin the occasion of Death was to be swallowed up in victory that so only the light of life which is innocent might live there being nothing in Man for Death even as a King over-ruling all in subjection unto himself Whereupon was concluded that Man was the Cause of all this distraction and confusion in himself and so abstracted from this confusion was that being which made an appearance of holinesse in the minds of all professed religious People subjected under divers Forms Ordinances and Ceremonies which is a vapour it self and must die as the Ordinances were shaddows and are ceased but Man having lost the kernel the substance which giveth nourishment and satisfies he feedeth upon the dry husk and being not refreshed with the true Bread and Water of Life he remaineth alwaies seeking and never comes to know what is true alwaies feeding and never satisfied until he comes to understand where the Bread of Life is to be found which is in himself according as it is written I in them and thou in me that they may be made perfect in one and so eternal life living in us there needs no more thirst there needs no more hunger after Knowledge this is eternal life to know God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent But since there is much Mysterie recorded in Scripture it is concluded that the knowledge of those Mysteries is to know the Will of Christ and so the way to salvation yea it is believed that the knowledge of the Scriptures is to know God and Christ though it is spoken concerning Christ I am the Way the Truth and the Life And again it is written the Word is nigh you in the mouth and in the heart so that the Way the Truth and the Life is in us that which giveth Salvation But saith * Judas 's love being removed from Christ by the seducements of the Deceiver his understanding became lost and so his minde was driven out from God into the Earth Judas How is it that thou wilt manifest thy self unto us and not unto the World But this Conclusion also proceeds from the evil one transformed in Man he being scattered very confused and darkned in his understanding covered as with a vail and so Satan as an Angel of Light moveth and leadeth forth to divers Duties which are his own for the upholding of his Reign in Man Also feeds Man with Wisdom and variety of pleasant Language called Gifts in performances for the upholding of his Duties by which sin being shaded over he is justified many being called failings but perfection is not to be attained in this life but in another life hereafter though it is written Except Christ be in you ye are Reprobates having rent the garments of righteousness ye are acursed being hipped up above the Truth and trampling the Blood of the Covenant the life of the Innocent in the dust so that if the Author and Finisher of our Faith be living in us there is perfection but if not perfection is not faithfulness being ceased Now the World was understood to be the Garden of Eden in which Man was placed at the first and still is and the Trees of this Garden all living beings proceeding out of the Earth living in and upon the Earth all which having their being of God the life of all things by somwhat of himself that proceedeth forth of the Earth God the Life who created all the Life from whence is received the increase of all It was also understood that Paradise was in Man where his delight should be where his minde should be stayed at unity with God who made choice to take up his Habitation and abode there himself with his increase the Family of Love and beloved Ones who were to be kept nourished and refreshed by Man 's living obedient unto the will of God in the same simplicity of Love and so at unity with this Family of Love the Seed of Israel Then was this understood to be the state in which all men were created and is now also the cause of his fall All men were made of nothing and still are as one Generation passeth away another Generation succeedeth by God the Author of all and so as one increase by him was brought to their end another increase was produced forth of himself according as it is written I kill and I make alive Therefore in the first Creation of Men they were made pure and holy without sin in the likeness of that God who was their Maker perfect for where no sin was there was perfection But Man when he came into a growth in the World he saw the excellency of that Provision of that Fruit prepared of God to be a nourishment or refreshment for him he began of himself by hearkening to the weaker being in him the fleshly minde to be discontented with that allowance which was sufficient
in the way the Instruments by whom this Redemption was to be wrought how it was to be done and where which was in the man c. Also that the Scripture was not the Word of God but it was what was spoken from the Word by the Word was meant Life and the Scriptures were a Declaration from this Word of Life the Word was the substance from whence it was spoken and this substance the Word of Life was the measure of God manifested in man the gift of the Holy Spirit manifested in flesh made known in all that thereby they might be guided to profit in that obedience required of God also by which all the disorder in the Creation of man made by the flouds poured forth in man in that time of God's displeasure occasioned by his fall from God into the Lust was to be put into the same order they were at the first which was good by which Word the mountains were to be leveled all hills were to be cast down and the valleys were to be exalted crooked places were to be made strait and rough wayes to be made smooth every thing was to stand in awe before him the lofty minde was to be pulled down and all high thoughts and imaginations were to be burned up and these things being not done by the Word in you the pure Witnesses of God lie slain in your streets the house of darkness the house of bondage those Cities which spiritually have a relation to Sodom and Egypt and I was sent by God to declare against that in you by which you are blinded and so the Witnesses kept slain expressing with a firm confidence that searching of the Scripture was not the way to finde out the knowledge of Christ but the turning the minde to within there to be taught by the measure of God the Law written in the heart and so standing in obedience to it in time death being passed over all that sinned Christ would be brought forth which sin reigned from Adam till Moses even over all that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam's transgression Adam the earthly nature in man which prevailed with him to be earthly minded to love the Mammon of unrighteousness which death reigned over the whole man till Moses the servant of God which gave the Law to the children of Israel the seed of the Faithful by which they were to be guided to the Angel of the Covenant Christ and so witness the perfection which to know saith God is life vvhich life was manifested in him and he savv it the onely Begotten of God and from vvhat he had seen felt heard and understood in himself that vve also might have fellovvship did he declare these things concluding with a strict Charge in the Name of the living God that we turn to him the Rock whence we were hewn as we respected our eternal peace bearing record that he the God of life stood waiting ready to receive all that turn to him and having your faces Sion-ward go on bearing your Crosses joyfully for his reward is with him and his work before him So after about an hours discourse in things of this nature all spoken with a firm confidence mighty powerfully declared with so much scriousness that possible could be supposed to be far beyond whatever I saw by any man and using those words Thee and Thou barren of any Complement or whatever might be taken in them to please man they departed Now upon the consideration of divers things also the strong Ingagement laid upon us as we tendered our eternal happiness together with that bold undaunted confidence he had in the Truth of what was spoken all my former Knowledge my former Belief my former Hope being struck with a great Fear was immediately dashed in pieces they being taken to be earthen Vessels made by the Wisdom which was begotten of the * Self for the justifying of Self earthly Man and then coming to understand that they were of those People called by the name of Quakers together with what formerly I knew of them I became strongly affected with them divers also of the same Meeting at the same time being possess'd with the like perswasions Whereupon much love acted me to follow them very zealously but in order to a more perfect clearing of my understanding I remained a time before I complied with them or made my self known to any one of them in which time meeting with one whom I formerly knew to be a very serious true-hearted Man who was converted to their Belief and also subjected to their Obedience who gave me to understand that they were sent forth to preach the Gospel by the same Christ that the Apostles were and that the Person that Son of God which died at Ierusalem was not the Redeemer of Man from Sin but the Redeemer was in every particular Man that Light by which he was given to see Sin and enabled by it if obeyed to be redeemed from Sin which Christ had redeemed them perfect and now lived in them Lord of all things by which they were made the Sons of God and so what was manifested unto them by that substance from that substance were they moved to speak which was the same Holy Ghost by which the Apostles were endued sent forth enabled to preach the Gospel and declaring of them much to admiration how that sometimes in the night they were immediately commanded by the eternal Spirit to go forth and preach the Gospel also by the like command some of them were limited to fast from Food as I remember about twenty or more dayes together * And afterwards I knew some who fasted 30 or 40 days which was intended to make them willing and pliable to the will of God in the travel of their Spirit before they came to the Land of Canaan the rest of the new created Being or Work of God in them So he gave me to understand the next day of their meeting and the place where with earnest invitation to be there Now that I might have the Counsel of God in what I did as touching my uniting with them when I came home I went to Prayers and being mightily carried forth in that Duty very often before the time of their meeting I looked upon it as a sign which did make manifest the good pleasure of God in my closing with them so at that meeting three of the chiefest of them being Speakers whose matter and manner of preaching was more taking unto me than all the former but especially the powerful operation of their Prayer all which effectually wrought upon me whereupon my minde being established I was moved to make a confession of my self concluding with the owning of them in the presence of all the people upon which I became subject to the teachings of a Spirit in my self the which being believed to be the Christ of God the Redeemer from sin I was fully perswaded that if denying any thing in the least
very knowing and understanding of what the truth or substance and life was To which end I laboured were it possible in that way to apprehend what was pure out of divers Opinions that so one knowledg one minde witnessed by one Truth my Understanding being well informed might act me to live in unity with God by a holy and innocent life But after a time in regard of much unstableness I saw in divers Teachers by the diversity of their Opinions and also much Confusion in many Societies who made a profession to be gathered together by one Spirit pure of God into one pure minde and so at unity with one pure God it occasioned much trouble and disquietness in me Whereupon considering seriously with my self I sought diligently what the cause should be of all this division by which men professing the Truth were thus distracted in their own mindes Upon which there was cleared to my understanding Truth being but one the ministration of righteousness which proceedeth from this Truth must necessarily be the same therefore that which occasioned this Division was the wisdom of the flesh which continually was and still is at enmity with Truth God being not the author of confusion but of peace After this I found a little pleasure in hearing of Ministers because of the pleasantness of their discourse by the excellencie of their beautified language but nothing sufficient to edifie or learn me with knowledge for in hearing I could not understand in seeing I could not perceive that any thing I ever saw or heard did proceed from a right understanding of the minde of God there being so many mixtures by what I apprehended in every thing spoken forth by all Whereupon was I perswaded to see what might be learned from others who were out of the way of these professions by whose Doctrine together with what I apprehended of my self by the operation of a spirit infused into me after a short time there was made clear to my understanding what follows But first I shall declare the manner of my entrance into this belief Being thus perswaded I began to be very inquisitive after some other people that might accord with and be instruments of good to me whose life conversation might be one with their doctrine both which being of God might certainly confirm their unity with God So in a short time I became affected with those people called by the name of Seekers but afterwards hearing at a private house two of those called by the name of Quakers and much observing their discourse little was spoken but all tending to the destruction of every the least sin So by the sincerity of their discourse with the sobriety of their appearance I was taken somewhat affected with them upon which I was perswaded to make a further enquiry after that Sect though to my wisdom notwithstanding what was spoke was against all sin yet there was nothing declared of the mystery of the Gospel of Christ But upon a further enquiry in the observation of them I saw their order their maner of teaching and duties and found as was declar'd by them as far as I perceiv'd that all spake the same things their Ministery was one all in one Order united compleat in one Minde whereby they were acted as one in their duties whereupon I concluded that surely these people were of God sent forth as witnesses for himself against all others who took the name of God in their mouthes and declared themselves to be the Ministers of Christ though they were made Ministers of man and sent forth by man whose Doctrine stood in the will of Man and not understanding what the Word of life was therefore uncapable of edifying the people being Ministers of the Letter and not of the Spirit Now since it was written that the people of God should be of one soul and one minde God also being one and his Name one and these people declaring to be the same who did live much witnessed by their humility one pure life also moved to speak and act onely from a true and faithful being of God manifested in them by which they appeared to be as Lights in the world and all others who were in a subjection unto divers Forms in many things taking liberty to themselves their lives appeared to be judges of them as well as their outward declaration yet in regard of much strangeness that I apprehended in their way also the extraordinary bold confidence they had in their judging which gave no liberty for the justification of any besides themselves I could not finde a sufficient satisfaction to comply with them A short time following being at a private * Of those called Seekers Meeting where after some time spent by two or three who were making enquiry what should be the meaning of the Spirit of God in two Scriptures which seemingly did appear to contradict each other there comes into the Meeting divers strange men and in the midst of their discourse upon those Scriptures there stood up a man of these strangers and silencing of them he began with an exceeding bold courage to speak crying aloud in these words or to this effect Praises praises be to the Lord God for ever who hath hid these things from the wise prudent and hath revealed them unto babes giving them to know that the dark clouds were veiled over the Sun and with this darkness did they go about to comprehend the light but the light did see the darkness and the darkness comprehended it not So repeating over those Scriptures he affirmed with confidence that they meant that they spake and made those plain to the understanding of many affirming that those who never came to live obedient to the Life which was of God in them should never come to see what was meant by the holy Spirit which moved those who lived the life of God to speak them forth the words of the Wise were dark to such who by their disobedience had lost their light So Man having now lost his guide being blind he seeks after Knowledge by the teachings of that minde which is darkned and so feeds upon that tree forbidden of the knowledge of Good and Evil not discerning and beginning in Genesis he passed thorow the whole scope of the Scriptures declaring what was meant by them and all things being turned by him into Allegories typifying or figuring forth what was to be fulfilled in man before he came to be born of the Spirit the second birth without which there was no entrance into the Kingdom of God heaven which was in man according to that Scripture I will dwell in them and walk in them they shall be my people and I will be their God And so declaring what was meant by the first Adam what by the second Adam what the Fall was what the cause of the Fall what reigned after the Fall what by Redemption out of this fallen estate the way of this Redemption the effects produced
for his use and please the Creature himself rather than God that made him and by whom he lived which Nature respected himself beyond that pure Nature which is of God given in to him by which the Creation of God was to be preserved in its order according as it is written in the Church of God The head of the woman is the man the head of the man is Christ the head of Christ is God Which Church is in Man as it is written Ye are the Temples of the living God Now the woman being the silliest and weakest part also that which desireth most to be dallying with such things in which it might take delight lest she should defile her self and dishonour her head the man by alluring of him to commit Fornication with her she is to be kept in subjection by him as he is taught by the Word which Word Christ the Light of Life is given to declare what the will of God is but man having given way to the weaker being she is become the Head and Ruler of all it was pleasant and she desired and that caused the Man to taste for he willed and that caused the Sun to be darkned his light which was given to discover the will of God to be clouded by the begotten will of man yielding subjection to weakness Now the Sun being darkned could not answer the end for which it was given so the will of God became lost by and unknown to man he having created to himself an Image falls down and worships it by a continual slavery to the things of this world serving divers Gods and divers Lords by which he hath brought himself under the curse of God having slain the witnesses that were given in him from God Wherefore at the Resurrection the Book of Conscience should be opened out of which the witnesses should be raised to life and so man by whom they were slain should by them receive condemnation but such who bare testimony of the first Resurrection which is man being subjected unto that which shewed him any sin the true and faithful witnesses would be raised to life by which he might see the least sin and they ruling in him here should be the justifier of him hereafter the second death having no power Again it was further understood that man in his own will by his own wisdom his minde being driven out into the Earth forth of Paradise into slavery by the flaming Swords of those Spirits sent from God seeking after Knowledge begets in himself Children of Fornication from whence proceedeth divers Languages Babylon being built up in him by which confusion he is acted to do those Services required by the Whorish Woman that well-favoured and beautified Harlot whose Ornaments appeared glorious and bespangled with those Jewels that had the greatest Glister whose brightness was transcendent for Purity by which they appeared excellent to all the spectators All which being but as a gilded Picture without substance even as Wind carrying the minds of men to and fro by their airy imagination giving them to believe that it is the Spirit of God though abstracted from the diversity of Languages proceeding from those Beings or Children of Fornication begotten in him by himself through the Allurements of the Whorish woman So man being thus darkned in his understanding what is fancied or supposed to be true by that which desireth Knowledge in him because he hath lost his savory discerning he buildeth upon it as confident and so the weakness in him and his own imagination is judged by him to be the Spirit of God Now man being exalted into such a high degree by the pride of his own heart and not resting contented in that place which he was Created in by God he thereby brought Condemnation upon himself and this was done by every particular man being acted by and made subject to those things which he was made by right of Creation Lord of Here man being led forth in a subjection to vanity his Food is a vapour or dust not able to keep life therefore no remedy having corrupted himself with an incurable Disease he must die he must die except by a subjection to the teachings of that Law written in the heart Christ be raised from the dead there to live and reign in Righteousness and true Judgement as at the beginning and so having purchased an everlasting inheritance through a perfect Obedience there is no death of that possession I Shall now declare divers of those effects which this Change wrought in and upon me At my first entrance into this way before I came to a right understanding of what was true Said they Having owned the Truth ye need not that Man teach you any more if you never see our faces again there is that in you by which you may be taught Which was taken to be the Life the holy Seed of God raised out of Death by that which was spoken from the Life in them So immediately in the Observation of them though confidently supposed it was by a Command from the Life in me I became subjected to divers Ceremonies As not to Master any man Not to pull off the Hat to any man Not to speak the word You but instead thereof Thee and Thou Not to use any Complements or Greetings to any believing That Bowing to a man was a Worshipping of him Not to direct my Minde in Drinking to any as familiarly is used amongst Friends c. Also by the same perswasion was I wrought upon to pull off those Points I wore at my Knees my Bandstrings Hatband Buttons that I judged were unnecessary on my Coat some of which I brake to pieces and threw away others I made a speedy disposal of with many other things burned divers Books that were Divinity judging that they were what was spoken from the teachings of the Devil in those that write them some made away others brake in pieces and threw away Having a business in my Charge the Redeeming part of an Estate for my Mother lately lost by the death of my Father which thing was very fairly proceeded in and very possibly in a short to have been effected amongst other of those seduced perswasions which subtilly under a pretence of self-denial accomplished its ends upon me I was engaged effectually prevailed upon utterly to withdraw from this business by which now my Mother and many little ones lieth much under the sufferings of my deserted obedience but the workings of this power was so predominant upon my Spirit that I refused the least acknowledgement much less performance of duty to any Now In my former prosecuting of this business having disposed of what Moneys I was provided with for the charges of my proceedings and being necessarily enforced I adventured though unwarrantably for my present supply without consent to take the sum of 40 s. about me in case I should have had occasion to make use thereof before I received any return from my Relations being
did eat to eat them The strangeness of this alteration being so great divers Friends came to see me intending by discourse to work me to a consideration of my condition by a better informing of my understanding but Reason being destroyed nothing took place in me but I judged them to be in the dark and that what was spoken from them was flesh their mindes and understandings being alienated from the Commonwealth of Israel my Master also with his Partner and others of the Family when discoursing with me all what was spoken by them was judged to be from the evil one in them whose I believed they were Now said they coming to live the life of the Scriptures you will finde the meaning of them they being fulfilled by you to be opened to your understanding by the life in you and so they will be found another thing than what formerly they were but at this time not having received that knowledge that I was to wait for the birth such a time out of my own wisdom my own knowledge and imagination going to read the Scriptures I found such a strange alteration in many things contrary to what formerly I did believe that I was taken affected with it upon which I was perswaded to read over the whole Scriptures and in reading that which desired knowledge in me prevailed upon me to search out the meaning of divers things which seeking destroyed my former understanding and gave me to believe another meaning then did I really conclude That I was taught by the word in me the same word which the holy men of God that spake forth the Scriptures had living in them by which they were inabled to speak them forth upon which I was injoyned by a stronger phansie supposed to be the Spirit of Christ to spend all my time that possible I could gain night and day to learn knowledge by the teachings of the Holy Ghost in me by which in a short time I did really believe that there was not any thing expressed but I had the perfect knowledge of in the end words and letter did signifie to my apprehension divers meanings Thus fancy and imagination acting together I was besotted and made perfect drunk in my understanding by the airy Spirit gotten in from without by which I became like unto a distracted man Having this perswasion in my self that all knowledge contained in the Scriptures was revealed unto me I was really possessed with a confident belief that Christ Jesus that died at Ierusalem was a figure of me and that I was the true Christ that Angel spoken of in the Revelation which was to flie through the midst of Heaven declaring the everlasting Gospel to all Kindreds Nations Tongues and People There was also revealed unto me by the teachings of that Spirit in me which gave me the knowledge of the Scriptures that the dissolution of all things would be at the end of sixty three yeers in which time by my Ministery and the rest of our Teachers the Jews were to be called with the Gentiles who had lost the knowledge of the Gospel immediately after the Apostles dayes from which time until now that God raised his Spirit to Life in those of us both Jews and Gentiles have lain in blindness serving the God of the World the Prince of darkness and without the knowledge of the true God in the world Wherefore all both Ministers and people that were since a short time after the Apostles dayes they having bowed down to the Gods of the Earth and so worshipped the Gods of the Heathen the God of Gods who is the Lord of all had condemned them and their gods eternally Wherefore now the Candle of the wicked was to be put out by the everlasting Gospel spoken from the eternal Life in us by which those that were elected to Salvation should have the Life raised in them whose brightness as it was revealed should swallow up all that was for Condemnation so the eternal Life living in them there was Salvation It was also believed That I should live to the End and then Christ which died at Jerusalem was to meet me in the Mount of God which was in a multitude of bright Clouds where I was immediately to be transformed into a Celestial Body all Spirit where that Christ and I should sit Judges of all that ever had a Being in the World Wherefore now it being so that I was to be the Minister in the hand of God for the converting of those who were Elected to Salvation to the true knowledge by which eternal life was to be found my minde was informed that though I had the perfect knowledge of the Scripture it was not sufficient for this work And also I was perswaded There was a greater Revelation to be made manifest in me than there was in Christ or the Apostles Whereupon I was enjoyned that I should spend all the time that possibly I could in waiting for Revelations from Heaven which I did according to the teachings of this Spirit in me hearkening diligently with my minde fixed upwards towards Heaven in expectation to hear some voyce from thence Whereupon the first time I really supposed I heard many excellent voyces which made an exceeding sweet and pleasant Melody Upon which I believed they were Spirits sent from God to make known unto me the greatness of that joy there was in Heaven because of me by which appearance being over-ravished I was firmly resolved to be pliable to that Spirit which moved me in this way of waiting So a short time following there appeared to me two Spirits in the likeness of a Man's shade which apparitions were believed to be Angels sent from God to minister unto me from whom did proceed to my acceptation at that time excellent things concerning God and Christ that died at Ierusalem also concerning the Angels and the excellency of that place called Heaven Following this there came many such-like Spirits that were all taken to be Angels at which sight there was a voice spake in me which gave greetings to those apparitions upon which there was answered by them That within twenty five dayes perfection should be stablished in me and so I should be made perfect entire wanting nothing the whole work of God having been made manifest then should I suffer the likeness of that Death and Resurrection which was real by him that died at Ierusalem after which I should be sent forth to preach the Gospel and then Michael the Archangel should be living in me by whom I should be carried to and fro throughout the World and enabled to preach the Gospel After this time for these twenty five dayes when the Spirit in me willed me to go private which was sometimes in the day and almost all these twenty five nights I durst not deny the movings as I respected my Salvation yea I do verily believe I did not rest one night with another above one hour in a night all the time of these
Spirits by vvhom I vvas accompanied as though I had been a Spirit my self It may be observed That about this time it was so with me That what I looked upon I should be searching after knowledge in relation to it making enquiry the cause of its Being the way by which it came to have a Being c. For I was perswaded That the Knowledge of all things was to be Discovered and made known to me so that a while after my prying so much after Knowledge did infuse so much Spirit in me that I could not look upon any thing but I was tormented in my Spirit at the sight thereof and many times had such burnings in my Body as may be likened to the heat of live Coals by which for many nights I could not have the least rest Having refrained from Food about a day and a half I was moved though limited by the Spirit in me for a longer time to go and eare So having made a search for the like Food that usually I did eat and finding none but in the stead thereof a great Roast of Beef I was at a loss upon which there arose a great Contest in my Spirit what I should do said that Spirit which respected me for the satisfying of Nature Eate of the Beef said the other Spirit by which I was limited No I am the Lord said the former Nay but eate since there is no other there is a sufficient justification Whereupon the Case being well examined after a time Judgement was determined upon that Spirit by which I was limited So I did take and eat while satisfied with much moderation All which time being much disquieted and strongly moved to give over This Deed being now finished I went into the Hall where after two or three turns I sate down and casting my Eyes upwards I was taken with a strong Fancy that I saw Heaven open from whence proceeded a great blast of Fire somwhat like unto Lightning at which sight being really perswaded it was a discovery of those Plagues which were to be poured forth upon me because of the former Disobedience I was struck down by that power in me as though a dead thing had fallen upon which immediately there was an extream burning within me like unto the heat of a fiery hot Furnace which remained a little more than about half a quarter of an hour About three hours following this there was a private Meeting of our People whither I was moved to go though much contrary to my Will but being in a great fear I durst not deny but went so after I had been there about half an hour I was moved by the power of that Spirit in me to shake which manner of shaking I had long waited for believing they were Effects in order to the rooting out and perfect destroying of that Being in me which was of the Devil So it being observed that I was moved to shake the Command was Give way which signified that I should not limit the Work of the Lord in me upon that which was for Condemnation so I gave way upon which the strength of that Spirit by which I was moved to shake grew so that what strength I had in me of my self was not in the least sufficient to subdue the workings of the other Spirit in and upon me whose power wrought so in me being spread like unto an infused substance into all Parts and Joynts of my Body that my whole Man was so shaken torn and rent that had I not by a great strength been enabled I could not have contained Also it did work in me as though I had taken a strong Purge by which I was clensed exceedingly in working forth of me an extream Foam So having fulfilled its Will it ceased of it self Now as the Air is rent by the fierceness of the Spirit by which is caused a hideous and ratling noise called Thunder and so the whole Heavens become clensed of all filthy vapours or corrupted substance naturally destructive to all Beings so was it believed that the corrupted Spirit in me was rent and torn by that Spirit which is my Life by which the Heavens in me was clensed Then was I possessed with these perswasions That this was one of those two Plagues which was to be poured forth upon me and that the occasion of this Plague was because of the denial of my Lord and Master in the presence of the Jewish Spirits in me out of respect to my own Liberty the satisfying of Nature with that Food which was disallowed After this as I remember the following night I was Commanded to stay up all that night and wait for Revelations but having refrained from sleep divers nights before I could not wait according to the requirings of the Spirit because of extream drouziness whereupon I made intercession to those Apparitions to take rest for that night so upon Promise of attending there the next night I had liberty but going up stairs a voyce spake in me and willed me to go down but then I supposed it to be from one of the Spirits which I left behind me in the Room so out of great fear I was enjoyned to stay up all that night and durst not sleep but wait for Revelations and having waited a short time I could not possibly refrain longer from rest then was I perswaded to go against the Will of the Spirit in me but in going it spake again and Commanded me to go in the Shop which I did and having waited there about half an hour wrestling strongly against sleep I moved of my self to go up again into the Chamber but going up stairs another voyce spake behind me and Commanded me to return back again then was I Commanded by that in me to lie down and humble my self for I had Blasphemed which I did wallowing and tumbling upon the ground Then heard I another voyce saying Nicodemus is in thee the betrayer of Christ in the night Then sorrow struck me to the very heart and I was extreamly troubled so after I had layen about an hours time upon the ground I was moved by that Being in me to rise but as I was rising I was commanded to lie down again Anon after I was moved to rise as before but when rising I was commanded to lie still and so by contradictions of this Spirit in me was I thus acted divers times in the end it was pleased to raise me on my Feet it self moving and guiding of my Body by its own power like as before So this night being spent I was in the morning commanded to light a Fire with dead Coals and Sticks that a Miracle might be made known to be wrought by me being really perswaded that like as Fire did proceed from the Lord upon the Altar in the sight of Moses Aaron and the Children of Israel So from the Lord in me should there proceed that Vertue vvhich should infuse a heat into those Coals and Sticks by vvhich
a Fire should be kindled now being confident I should effect the vvork yea had I been Master of the vvhole world I should have ventured all vvith a value of no vvorth upon the performance of this Deed having laid all things in their order as directed by that Spirit which moved me to the work I was moved to blow with my mouth but in short blow I did try one way then another way and blowed as strong that possible I could expecting still that from my Life the Lord there should heat proceed with my breath to the lightning of the fire but in the end not being able to effect the thing I was extreamly troubled that I the Christ of God should fail in the performance of the first miracle since so many miracles were wrought by him that was a figure of me Then went I private into the Cellar and there hearkned to within my self for a command from the Spirit in me to desire the apparitions which being given they were desired and so came Then was made known unto them how imperfect my performance was in that Service required of me Upon which was answered That I was not yet perfect but however it was the purpose of God that I should be serviceable in the healing of the lame the sick the blinde c. souls as Christ did heal the imperfect parts of the visible body and that all the visible miracles wrought by him did signifie what was to be effected miraculous in the invisible part of every man that should be saved by my Doctrine and so they departed Seldom a night after this for about a week but I staid up most part of all the night and divers strange things effected by me or those apparitions every night so that having destroyed the course of nature so much in not taking of rest that for a time following when I came to have liberty to rest I could not though never so desired Once when striving strugling mounting flinging and throwing in a contest against sleep I was immediately taken by the power of that Spirit in me and cast up against the wall and when setled upright and closed to the wall there was infused in me such a fresh supply of life like unto a mighty startle that all drowziness was destroyed and I was a fresh as could be The day following this night was the first day of the week so betimes in the morning I was moved to go to the place of our Meeting and there wait until the time of meeting and as it was usual not purposing to come home till the evening and also much necessitated I was moved to eat before I went so having cut a piece of Bread about a fourth part of a peny-loaf I began to eat but when having eaten about half I was commanded to eat no more but lay the rest by till the next day so it being undeniable by me I did obey and it was my food the following day Then did I make to the Meeting where I spent my time while the people were gathered together in which time as I was walking in the Garden a Fly flew in my face which thing being observed I was moved to examine what it should mean so by the counsel of this Spirit in me I was confidently perswaded that it was a Messenger from God the Life in him being believed to be of God and from that life was he moved to flie in my face by which was meant a giving me to understand something that was required of me by God From that time was I guided by Flyes in many things being very certain that they were moved by God in them to make known what was his will to me Then vvhen the Company came I vvas commanded to shevv a humility in me beyond any of theirs as Christ did shevv a humility in him beyond any of his Apostles Whereupon I vvas commanded to pull off my Band and then vvas I moved to make knovvn unto the people the order that God required in the Creation vvhich vvas to gatheir up the small sticks that vvere scattered in the Garden and lay them by themselves and the dry leaves that vvere under the Trees by themselves and the small stones that vvere scattered in the Walks by themselves and the pieces of Brick as I remember if not some such-like by themselves Now in the time of this service I gave over sometimes by the perswasion of divers Friends but when given over I should be commanded by the first Fly that I saw to the service again Afterwards being observed by one who was a Chief of us he came to me and took me by the hand perswading me to give over and go along with him and hear what was spoken by him that was speaking to the people so I gave over Then when the time of our being there was ended it was also required by him that I should go with him where he intended to spend his time till the Afternoon which I did but in the way as we were going I was mov'd to gather up stones as before and as I was gathering I saw two white round stones lie one by the other at which sight I was possessed with a confident belief by the information of this Spirit in me that those stones came from Heaven and it was given unto me to finde them then was my minde informed by that in me that the one signified Esau and the other Jacob so I was moved to throw the greatest of them away and onely preserve the lesser it was also given me to understand that this lesser did not onely signifie Iacob but the white Stone spoken of in the Revelations which was sent as a token from Christ in Heaven to me and so long as I kept that stone I had unity with God but if lost I should be dis-united So when we came to that place we intended to go which was a Garden-house we sate down in the Garden but after a time I was moved to do the former work again where I gathered up stones and coles sticks and broken corkes or what I saw scattered on the ground So by and by comes into the Garden one whom I much loved that was of us and looking him in the face I was confident in my self I saw death in him upon which as I remember I told him that he was accursed from God seeing of him much changed I was really perswaded by this Spirit in me that he had slain the Witness and there was no remedy he must die eternally the plagues of God would be poured forth upon him in this life and in the life to come A short time after this as I was at rest about mid-night in a slumber between sleep and wake I saw a vision of Spirits in the room by which I was startled exceedingly and sate up being strongly moved to rise but being much drowsie and desirous of more sleep I lay down again and fell asleep presently and then into a