not have been consol'd for it but by the means it gave me of acquitting my self another way of the respect I owed her 'T was in fine by writing that I resolved to bid her adieu as you shall see by this Letter I Know not Madam if it is in earnest that you are sick that I could not see you or whether you are weary of seeing me here The one or the other give me equal pain and for fear of knowing too much I inform not my self of that whereof I am glad to be ignorant and lest I be more unhappy than I am I design not to press you further to declare it to me but to depart hence to morrow If you were visible I should be glad to take leave of you in form Suffer if you please that I make use of the only means that is left for me to bid you Adieu I kiss your Hands most humbly This Letter as you see was not very gallant nor well made and I must see her to speak truth when I said any thing of tenderness She received the Letter but made me no answer Egidia who saw I would certainly leave her and that she must be expos'd to all the tempest pray'd me that before I went I would at least make some sort of peace with the Abbess and not give the Nuns occasion of discourse by such an abrupt departure She added moreover that her Sister would infallibly believe that 't was she had made me hasten my going away and that she 'd be glad of this pretence to turn all her resentments upon her For my part who feared not death more than the thoughts of this interview which represented to me all the reproaches she 'd make me and to which I could make no reply I could not tell how to resolve to see her Egidia who saw my fear and unwillingness graciously consented at last that I should depart without taking my leave of her any other way than as I had done but to absent my self but for some days expecting till the Spirit of the Abbess was a little sweetned and that I should return if it were necessary at the least notice she should send me I put all things in readiness to go away next morning to see one of my friends in the Neighbourhood and as I was just going a Horseback a Footboy brought me a Note wherein I read these words DAr'st thou depart without seeing me thou most base and ingrateful'st of all men But go for 't would be too great a favour to suffer thy Sight after thy Treasons Yet take thy choice that I may see how far thy black Ingratitude will carry thee and if thou canst even forget that thou owest me at least this civility in leaving my House Never was man so astonished as I was after the reading of this Letter I saw well that whatever it cost me I must see her and only ask'd the Boy where his Lady was who telling me she was alone in her Chamber I went thither but 't was as a Criminal that presented himself before his Judge I found the Abbess so changed and so sad that she would have touch'd the heart of a Barbarian I know not what I did then but 't is certain I was not my self and that the confusion her sight put me into cannot be exprest She look'd upon me some moments without speaking to me afterwards said she to me What come you here for I thought you had been gone already I did not believe Madam answered I that I ought to do so when I might have the honour to see you before I went I come to take my leave of you and at the same time to beg the favour to know wherein I have offended you Wherein you have offended me said she sighing Ah! Traytor you know it but too well Well Madam said I to her since you 'l have me know it tell me what I must suffer for my crime If Death be assured my Life depends upon what you please to ordain Death replyed she again alas you have but too well deserved it and that is my greatest trouble What do you expect then replyed I in a passion if there wants but a Sword to give it me take mine In saying so I presented it ready drawn to her and opened my Brest for her to pierce it but she only turned her head away and said with a louder voice Cruel thou know'st ill my heart if thou believest I can be revenged of thee that way I wish only that my Life were dear enough to thee that I might punish thee by taking away that but I should not have the satisfaction to see thee breathe one sigh at my death As she spoke these words abundance of Tears covered her Face and Sobs took away from her the use of her Speech insomuch that my heart was torn with pity I knew not what to say fearing she 'd take any thing I said to her for new infidelities but as it is no hard matter to pacifie a Person that loves and that would be loved I behaved my self so well that by degrees I vanquished her anger and left her not till I saw her in a humor to pardon me all things That which obliged her to it the sooner was that seeing me resolved to be gone she had a desire to stay me and she thought she could not prevail by treating me rudely I was not yet so indifferent to her that she could be willing to part with me altogether and perhaps she did not despair so ordinary is it for them in love to flatter themselves to carry me at last from her Sister She did not know that I designed to absent my self but three or four days but believed that I intended not to return any more and I made her to have an obligation to me for it I prayed her at least that she would suffer me to to make a little Journy thereabouts to which she consented the more willingly that none might take notice and censure my changing of my resolution and how soon she was come to her self She was glad to observe some circumstances that her weakness might not appear and that it might be believed that she recovered by time Above all she exacted of me that I should not speak to her Sister of our reconcilement and that I should not so much as see her at parting if I would not make her repent of her great indulgence to me I promised her I would not and though Egidia sent to desire me to come to speak with her I prayed her by one of her friends to dispence with me for reasons I would write to her which I was sure would satisfie her To say truth I owed thus much at least to a Person that I had so great obligations to and that had so much reason to complain of me I went away then to one of my Friends houses from whence I writ several Letters to these Ladies and received as many from them
preserve her to oblige the world with a most rare example of constancy and a most honest and sincere friendship wherein we have since lived You know not perhaps said Madam d' Eyrac to him that none contributed so much to her recovery as I which was in this manner This Maid or if you please the Companion of the Abbess which as I told you more than once had much confidence in me failed not to give me an account of this last adventure in the Garden and the fear your Mistress was in that it was not hard for me to guess the cause of her illness and to find out means for her cure Every body observ'd an extraordinary trouble in her eyes and such disorder in her words as though she were in a continual study I pitied her extremely and though it was an injustice to my Friend to declare the secret wherewith she had trusted me I believed that in the extremity whereto this poor Lady was reduced I ought not to omit any thing for her recovery I took my time when there was none with her but a young Wench that serv'd her and that I could not suspect and ask'd her with an air of confidence if her indisposition proceeded not from some disturbance in her Mind and if she believed me not enough her friend to trust me with it She look'd fixtly on me and blush'd believing I meant to speak to her of Monsieur Le Chevalier but when I told her afterwards that I knew the cause of her illness perhaps better than she her self and that I could deliver her from the fear she had been in in the Garden she raised her self of a sudden upon her Bed My God! Madam said she is it possible that in my ravings I have spoke of any such things No no answered I interrupting her I know it by another way and I believe no body has heard any such thing from you The persons that caused you this fear told it me and I believed I ought not to leave you longer in this pain I imagine you 'l be so discreet as I shall have no reason to complain of you and that you 'l use as you ought the confidence I have in you She promised me secrecy and I told her all that had pass'd in the Garden as I was inform'd of it at which she was so astonish'd she could scarce believe it if I had not told her all that had happened to her self to the discourse between her and Monsieur Le Chevalier She blush'd at it and I saw well she was asham'd that I knew this particular of her Life But to be short since that time her Mind was composed by degrees till it came to its first settledness She recovered her health and in a little time her strength also I do not know how she has since carried her self towards you but this I know that she made strong resolutions though she could not forbear loving you to do it in such a manner as should not offend God I 'll assure you Madam answered Monsieur Le Chevalier she had kept them and that our friendship is no more than what might be between a Brother and Sister though in truth I have had much pain to reduce my self to it but at last I have brought my will to hers Tell us a little I beg of you said the Marchioness de Sandal what you did with the Abbess and how you were rid of her I believe pursu'd Monsieur Le Chevalier that the Abbes was furiously exasperated since that last evening and that what she heard when I was in the Arbor perfected her cure I always avoided being alone with her that little time I was in the Abby and when I took my leave of her 't was in the presence of five or six Ladies her Friends Thus Monsieur Le Chevalier finish'd his History to the general satisfaction of the Company
appeared very complaisant but when I came to know that these importments were more of Love than Friendship that it excited jealousie between the two Sisters that it caused Tears Sighs and Langueors I could not forbear speaking my thoughts of it freely to the Abbess and to represent to her that an ingagement of this nature would do her an injury one day and that an amorous affair ought not to enter into a Religious House She in appearance took pleasure in my freedom but indeed it begot in her coldness to me She would have been glad of a little more complaisance in my friendship and her pain being without remedy could have wish'd I would have help'd her to support it This was the cause that I had less converse with her and seldom saw her but as my duty that I might not break altogether with a Person that commanded where I was and to whom I had many obligations Her Sister manag'd her self a little better and though she had not less esteem and tenderness for Monsieur she acted nevertheless before the world as if she were indifferent for she had much more wit than her Sister though not so much beauty I will begin my recital if the company please where Monsieur left yesterday all that he has yet said being nothing in comparison of what I have to tell you Into what anger and transports fell the fair Abbess when she saw the Treason of her Lover The least thing her passion suggested to her was to be revenged of the Traytor and to make him be kill'd A Maid that she most confided in and who was too young to take the liberty of advising her came every night before she went to Bed to recount to me part of these follies with which in truth I could but divert my self The Abbess took then as Monsieur has told you her Sister with her to this assignation where he failed not to be at the hour appointed His surprise was great as you will imagine to see the two Sisters together after what the Abbess had writ to him that none should know of this enterview especially her Sister He remembred moreover what he had writ to her and the request he made her in his Letter that she should not be troubled at this assignation He knew not in fine what to believe and of a thousand thoughts which passed through his Mind none came near the right so little likelihood there was that such a thing should happen In the midst of those cruel pains that Spite and Jealousie made the Abbess suffer she tasted an extreme joy to see the trouble that Monsieur was in but her Sister had nothing to allay her grief and used the greatest violence to her self imaginable to forbear reproaching him She had not patience to stay long there but went from them after she had view'd him from head to foot with an air of Scorn and Indignation without saying a word to him This poor Lover who began to recover of his first surprize when he saw how she look'd upon and avoided him fell into a second much more cruel I know not said he speaking to the Abbess what I have done to your Sister that my presence drives her hence It is answered the Abbess coldly because your return here was not expected so soon where you have but little business Ah! if it be as you say Madam replyed Monsieur I swear to you I will not continue here long for I hate above all things to be troublesom to people But yet Madam added he suddenly you must not take it ill if I go and know of your Sister if this be the reason that she treats me thus after that I shall stay no longer with you than is necessary to bid you adieu In saying this he run after the fair afflicted whom he overtook just as she was going into the Convent What 's the matter with you Madam said he to her almost out of breath that you fly from me And why did I find you in a place where I ought not to see you Say rather thou most perfidious answered she that I ought not to see thee there But at last thy Treasons are discovered and thou shalt not deceive me any longer for I will not see thee again all my life After these words she went into the Convent shut the door upon her and left Monsieur in the most deplorable condition that a man could be reduced to He can tell you that he was a hundred times going to kill himself and that he would have made a thousand reproaches to this ungrateful if she could have heard them His Conscience accus'd him not of any infidelity he believed he had not done any thing contrary to his duty in this Assignation since he had given her notice of it and he knew well that in relation to this fair one he deserved not the name of perfidious So severe a treatment made him resolve to depart without expecting any longer hoping time would convince his Mistress of the wrong she had done him or that despight and absence would cure him of his Love The Abbess who had followed him and was not desirous the mistake should be clear'd arriv'd as he was in this resolution He accosted her of a fashion as sufficiently testified his despair and scarce looking on her What you told me Madam said he to her was more than ever I could have thought and I am treated here with so strange an air that I am astonish'd There 's no other way to take than not to stay a moment longer in a place where my presence is so odious Behold answered the Abbess how Traytors ought to be recompenc'd for their Treachery I have not time Madam answered Monsieur to ask you what reason you have to give me that name I must depart this instant to deliver you from a Man that is more than troublesom to you 'T is enough if you 'l be pleased to remember that 't was you that caused my coming here at this time I am come as I promised you and you perhaps brought your Sister that you so strictly charged me should know nothing of it Yes Traytor answered she transported by her passion and it was in that that thy base heart has failed thee Speak Tell me base If thou hast not writ to her what thou wert desired to conceal Monsieur was so strangely surprized here that he remained immovable and believ'd effectually that Egidia to continue the Name which he gave her in his relation had made her privy to the Letter he had writ her So soon as he was recover'd a little from the disorder he was in I know not well Madam said he to her what you mean but if all these injurious reproaches are but to drive me from hence I assure you that you give your self this trouble without need and less would serve to make me resolve never to see you more I am just going from this Country continued he going away and bid you
had been ready I do not doubt but I should have carried her away instead of her Sister I will not inlarge by telling you with what astonishment I was seiz'd to see her go back again into the Garden and shut the door after her At first I believed that she only design'd to make sport with me but as the rallery lasted a little too long for people that had no time to lose and that she did not return in spight of me I concluded this was no longer jest I thought that she had consented to follow me only to deceive me and that I had been the most abused man in the world 'T was then that shame despight and disdain excited terrible tempests in my Soul which together with the displeasure of not knowing what was become of my Horses nor what I should do with my self put me in so furious a passion that I vented a thousand complaints and reproaches against the perfidious Egidia I consider'd this as the greatest affront that a Man could receive I examin'd every particular and there was no circumstance that seemed not impossible to me In this humor I took my way to the Village that being the best course I could then think of and went to lodge at my ancient Hosts where I pass'd a much more cruel Night than the first time I had been in that House I called to mind all the cares and services I had rendred to this ingrate and all the false promises of amity that she had made me and being astonished not to have found out the lightness of her humor I accused my self of stupidity and blindness adding to my first despair an indignation against my self What extravagant discourses had I with my self that Night What numbers of unlikely designs I framed In truth one is liable to many follies when one loves extremely It was no sooner day than I call'd to my Valet for Ink and Paper to write to her but it was with so much trouble and disorder that whatever I writ I defaced it as fast Nothing pleased me sometimes I fancied I complain'd too sweetly and sometimes I feared to offend her sometimes I resolved to take leave of her for ever and a moment after I repented of that resolution But at last I writ thus to her YOu ought Madam rather not to have obliged me than repent of it so soon nor to have come to the door with me to forsake me in such a manner 'T was my ill fortune that my Horses were lost you saw 't was not my fault and you ought rather to have comforted me than treat me with that cruelty as to leave me without saying a word to me But above all why did you shut the door Or why did you flee from me Did you fear any violence from me And wherefore did you promise me so much happiness if you did not intend it I see well what I ought to conclude from all this and that I was deceived to believe you ever lov'd me The Masque is off now and without accusing you of Ingratitude or Perfidy I leave you to make your self the reproaches you merit whilst I go to to waste the remainder of my miserable life in some place more happy for me than this Adieu This Letter was given her by her Valet who an hour after brought me another from her telling me withal that she was very ill which I might easily perceive by her writing that I could scarce read and where I found these words ALl that you have writ to me terrifies me in such a manner that I believe I shall dye with it I know not what door you talk of and all I can say is that I never saw you after I parted with you in the Arbor but met a Spirit as I was coming the fright whereof will I think kill me 'T was certainly the same fantasm that you speak of and which without doubt came to you in my shape Behold l how God corrects those that are not wise I have not slept since and I always fancy I see the Spirit that pursued me I see the hand of Heaven in it that I have so long offended let us profit of its advice my dear Monsieur let 's endeavour to be wise for my part I am wholly resolved to lead a better life and if you love me you 'l do so too We were going to ruine our selves and God would preserve us let us render him the thanks we owe him for his goodness See me not of some days I will think a little of my salvation and do invite you to do the same and to look upon me no longer but as one of your friends Adieu I was exceedingly surpriz'd with the reading of this Letter but to tell you the truth if she had not been very sick I should have taken all she said for chimaera's and pretences that she made use of to excuse her inconstancy Though I never gave much faith to such foolish stories as that of the Fantasm yet when I reflected upon what she assured me that she had not seen me since she left me in the Arbor I began to be afraid to examine all that had happened to me with this pretended Spirit I remembred very well it had not said a word to me that it was come sooner than I could have expected Egidia I fancyed even that it had opened the door without a key and that it vanish'd when it left me In a word I yielded insensibly to that error which served to make me think in good earnest of my Conscience and to make my peace with God I was some days without ever going to the Convent to avoid the sight of the Abbess though she sent several times to desire me to take up my Lodgings at her house as formerly excusing my self so well as I could till I received this Letter that Egidia made one of her Friends write to me I Believe God will grant me the mercy of a longer time for repentance The Physicians have some hopes of my recovery however it happens come and see me to the end that if Death parts us I may in dying have at least this consolation of discharging my duty by telling you things that I am obliged to tell you I expect you Adieu This scene pursued Monsieur Le Chevalier will divert you but little it being all of tears I went to see her and I avow to you I was so sensibly touch'd with her condition that I was in one little better my self I could not master my self nor forbear to ease my afflicted mind by a torrent of tears All those that were present bore me company and none but the Abbess that was not moved to see me thus afflicted This poor creature who suffered with me made some efforts to say things to me the most kind and tender in the world She spoke to me as if she were to dye that day and certainly none thought she could live much longer But Heaven would