lose all in this world and lose my soul also because I beleeve not for all the Words of God are true which he hath taught me Now this day I think I will confess the truth Because I have sinned I want Jesus Christ and I will truly confess God because of that word of Christ He that confesseth me before men him will I confess before my Father I wonder at this Instruction I desire to confess my heart Another who made his Confession is named Antony upon whom the Lord was pleased the last Winter to lay an heavy stroke for he and another Indian being at work sawing of Board and finishing the Peece they laid it so short and the Rowl not so stedfast insomuch that this man being in the Pit directing to lay the Piece and the other above ordering thereof it slipped down into the Pit upon this mans head brake his neather Chap in two and cracked his Skull insomuch that he was taken up half dead and almost strangled with blood and being the last day of the week at night I had no word until the Sabbath day then I presently sent a Chyrurgion who took a discreet order with him and God so blessed his indeavors as that he is now well again blessed be the Lord and whereas I did fear that such a blow in their Labor might discourage them from Labor I have found it by Gods blessing otherwise yea this man hath performed a great part of the sawing of our Meeting-House and is now fawing upon the School-house and his recovery is an establishment of them to go on yea and God blessed this blow to help on the Work of Grace in his soul as you shall see in his Confession which followeth BEfore I prayed to God I alwaies committed sin but I do not know all my sins I know but a little of the sins I have committed therefore I thought I could not pray to God because I knew not al my sins before I prayed to God and since I heard of praying to God formerly when the English did bid me pray unto God I hated it and would go out of their houses when they spake of such things to me I had no delight to hear any thing of Gods Word but in every thing I sinned in my speeches I sinned and every day I broke the Commands of God After I heard of praying to God that Waban and my two brothers prayed to God yet then I desired it not but did think of running away yet I feared if I did run away some wicked men would kill me but I did not fear God After when you said unto me pray my heart thought I will pray yet again I thought I cannot pray with my heart and no matter for praying with words only but when I did pray I saw more of my sins yet I did but only see them I could not be aware of them but still I did commit them and after I prayed to God I was still full of lust and then a little I feared Sometimes I was sick and then I thought God was angry and then I saw that I did commit all sins then one of my brothers died and then my heart was broken and after him another friend and again my heart was broken and yet after all this I broke my praying to God and put away God and then I thought I shall never pray to God but after this I was afraid of the Lord because I alwaies broke my praying to God and then my heart said God doth nor hear my prayer When I was sick and recovered again I thought then that God was merciful unto me Hearing that word of God If you hear the Word of God and be forgetful hearers you sin against God then I thought God will not pardon such a sinner as I who dayly did so and broke my praying to God When I heard the Commandements I desired to learn them and other points of Catechism but my desires were but small and I soon lost it because I did not desire to beleeve then sometimes I feared Gods anger because of al my sins I heard the Word and understood only this word All you that hear this day it may be you shall quickly die and then I quickly saw that God was very angry with me Then God brake my head and by that I saw Gods anger and then I thought that the true God in Heaven is angry with me for my sin even for al my sins which every day I live I do When I was almost dead some body bid me now beleeve because it may be I shal quickly die and I thought I did beleeve but I did not know right beleeving in Christ then I prayed unto God to restore my health Then I beleeved that word That we must shortly appear before Jesus Christ then I did greatly fear lest if I beleeved not I should perish for ever When I was neer death I prayed unto God Oh Lord give me life and I will pray to God so long as I live and I said I will give my self soul and body to Christ after this God gave me health and then I thought truly God in Heaven is merciful then I much grieved that I knew so little of Gods Word And now sometimes I am angry and then I fear because I know God seeth it and I fear because I promised God when I was almost dead that if he giveth me life I will pray so long as I live I fear lest I should break this promise to God Now I desire the pardon of all my sins and I beg faith in Christ and I desire to live unto God so long as I live I cannot my self get pardon but I dayly commit sin and break Gods Word but I look to Christ for pardon Another who made His Confession is named Owussumag which is as followeth WHen I first heard that Waban prayed to God and after that many more prayed I first feared praying to God and instruction and I hated instruction by the Word of God and alwaies I laughed at them who prayed to God and I alwaies thought I will yet more commit sin and I went into the Country and there I acted much lust adultry and the like and all my Neighbors we did together seek after wickedness and every day I was proud and of high or open eyes When some of my neighbors began to pray I went away into the Country but I could find no place where I was beloved Then I heard That when beleevers die they go to Heaven when sinners die they go to Hel and my heart considered What good will it be if my soul go to Heaven But two years ago I began to think I had sinned against God and then somtimes I feared yet again sinned but my fear was of man not of God Then ever my heart said I should be better if I would pray to God and somtimes I beleeved that which I was taught yet again last year I sought to go
should ask them Questions in these matters After a little conference hereabout it was concluded That they should first make confession of their experience in the Lords Work upon their hearts because in so doing it is like something will be discerned of their knowledg in the Doctrines of Religion and if after those Confessions there should yet be cause to inquire further touching any Point of Religion it might be fitly done at last Whereupon we so proceeded and called them forth in order to make confession It was moved in the Assembly by Reverend Mr. Wilson that their former Confessions also as well as these which they made at present might be read unto the Assembly because it was evident that they were daunted much to speak before so great and grave an Assembly as that was but time did not permit it so to be then yet now in my writing of their Confessions I will take that course that so it may appear what encouragement there was to proceed so far as we did and that such as may reade these their Confessions may the better discern of the reality of the Grace of Christ in them The first which was called forth is named Totherswamp whose former Confession read before the Elders was as followeth BEfore I prayed unto God the English when I came unto their houses often said unto me Pray to God but I having many friends who loved me and I loved them and they cared not for praying to God and therefore I did not But I thought in my heart that if my friends should die and I live I then would pray to God soon after God so wrought that they did almost all die few of them left and then my heart feared and I thought that now I will pray unto God and yet I was ashamed to pray and if I eat and did not pray I was ashamed of that also so that I had a double shame upon me Then you came unto us and taught us and said unto us Pray unto God and after that my heart grew strong and I was no more ashamed to pray but I did take up praying to God yet at first I did not think of God and eternal Life but only that the English should love me and I loved them But after I came to learn what sin was by the Commandements of God and then I saw all my sins lust gaming c. he named more You taught That Christ knoweth all our hearts and seeth what is in them if humility or anger or evil thoughts Christ seeth all that is in the heart then my heart feared greatly because God was angry for all my sins yea now my heart is full of evil thoughts and my heart runs away from God therefore my heart feareth and mourneth Every day I see sin in my heart one man brought sin into the World and I am full of that sin and I break Gods Word every day I see I deserve not pardon for the first mans sinning I can do no good for I am like the Devil nothing but evil thoughts and words and works I have lost all likeness to God and goodness and therefore every day I sin against God and I deserve death and damnation The first man brought sin first and I do every day ad to that sin more sins but Christ hath done for us all righteousness and died for us because of our sins and Christ teacheth us That if we cast away our sins and trust in Christ then God will pardon all our sins this I beleeve Christ hath done I can do no righteousness but Christ hath done it for me this I beleeve and therefore I do hope for pardon When I first heard the Commandements I then took up praying to God and cast off sin Again When I heard and understood Redemption by Christ then I beleeved Jesus Christ to take away my sins every Commandement taught me sin and my duty to God When you ask me Why do I love God I answer Because he giveth me all outward blessings as food clothing children all gifts of strength speech hearing especially that he giveth us a Minister to teach us and giveth us Government and my heart feareth lest Government should reprove me but the greatest mercy of all is Christ to give us pardon and life Totherswamp The Confession which he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth I Confess in the presence of the Lord before I prayed many were my sins not one good word did I speak not one good thought did I think not one good action did I doe I did act all sins and full was my heart of evil thoughts when the English did tell me of God I cared not for it I thought it enough if they loved me I had many friends that loved me and I thought if they died I would pray to God and afterward it so came to pass then was my heart ashamed to pray I was ashamed if I prayed not I was ashamed a double shame was upon me when God by you taught us very much ashamed was my heart then you taught us that Christ knoweth all our harts therefore truly he saw my thoughts and I had thought if my kindred should die I would pray to God therfore they dying I must now pray to God and therefore my heart feared for I thought Christ knew my thoughts then I heard you teach The first man God made was named Adam God made a Covenant with him Do and live thou and thy Children if thou do not thou must die thou and thy Children And we are Children of Adam poor sinners therefore we all have sinned for we have broke Gods Covenant therefore evil is my heart therefore God is very angry with me we sin against him every day but this great mercy God hath given us he hath given us his only Son and promiseth That whosoever beleeveth in Christ shall be saved for Christ hath dyed for us in our stead for our sins and he hath done for us all the words of God for I can do no good act only Christ can and only Christ hath done all for us Christ have deserved Pardon for us and risen again he hath ascended to God and doth ever pray for us therefore all Beleevers Souls shall goe to Heaven to Christ But when I heard that word of Christ Christ said Repent and Beleeve and Christ seeth who Repenteth then I said dark and weak is my Soul and I am one in darkness I am a very sinful man and now I pray to Christ for life Hearing you teach that Word that the Scribes and Pharisees said Why do thy Disciples break the Tradition of the Fathers Christ answered Why do ye make void the Commandements of God Then my heart feared that I do so when I teach the Indians because I cannot teach them right and thereby make the word of God vain Again Christ said If the blind lead the blind they will both fall into the ditch
I have sinned I beleeve that if I repent and be humbled and pray not only outwardly but inwardly and beleeve in Christ then God will pardon all my sin but I cannot get pardon of sin I cannot deserve pardon but only Christ hath merited pardon for us I cannot deliver my self from all my sins but Christ redeemeth and delivereth from all sin I deserve not one mercy of God but Christ hath merited all mercies for us The next are the Confessions of Robin Speene who three several times came forth and confessed as followeth His first Confession I Was ashamed because you taught to pray to God and I did not take it up I see God is angry with me for all my sins and he hath afflicted me by the death of three of my children and I fear God is still angry because great are my sins and I fear lest my children be not gone to Heaven because I am a great sinner yet one of my children prayed to God before it died and therefore my heart rejoyceth in that I remember my Panwaning for he was a Panwan my lust my gaming and all my sins I know them by the Commandements of God and God heareth and seeth them all I cannot deliver my self from sin therefore I do need Christ because of all my sins I desire pardon and I beleeve that God calls all to come to Christ and that he delivereth us from sin Robin Speen His Second Confession I Have found out one word more great are my sins and I do not know how to repent nor do I know the evil of my sins only this one word now I confess I want Christ this day I want him I do not truly beleeve nor repent I see my sin and I need Christ but I desire now to be redeemed and I now ask you this Question What is Redemption I answered him by shewing him our estate by Nature and desert the price which Christ paid for us and how it is to be applied to every particular person which done he proceeded in his Confession thus I yet cannot tell whether God hath pardoned my sins I forget the Word of God but this I desire that my sins may de pardoned but my heart is foolish and a great part of the Word stayeth not in my heart strongly I desire to cast all my sins out of my heart but I remember my sins that I may get them pardoned I think God doth not yet hear my prayers in this because I cannot keep the Word of God only I desire to hear the Word and that God would hear me Robin Speen His Third Confession ONe word more I cal to mind Great is my sin this saith my heart I have found this sin when I first heard you teach that all the world from the rising to the sitting Sun should pray to God I then wondered aâ— it and thought I being a great sinner how shal I pray to God and when I saw many come to the Meeting I wondred at it But now I do not wonder at that work of God and therefore I think that I do now greatly sin and now I desire again to wonder at Gods Works and I desire to rejoyce in Gods good waies Now I am much ashamed and fear because I have deserved eternal wrath by my sins my heart is evil my heart doth contrary to God and this I desire that I may be redeemed for I cannot help my self but only Jesus Christ hath done al this for me and I deserve no good but I beleeve Christ hath deserved all for us and I give my self unto Christ that he may save me because he knoweth eternal life and can give it I cannot give it to my self therefore I need Jesus Christ my heart is full of evil thoughts and Christ only can keep my soul from them because he hath paid for my deliverance from them The next are the Confessions of Nishohkou who twice made preparitory Confessions the first of which only was read before the Elders GOD in Heaven is merciful and I am sinful when I first heard the Word of God I neither saw nor understood but after when you taught these words Be wise Oh all ye people and beleeve in Jesus Christ then I prayed unto God yet afterwards I sinned and almost forsook praying to God Afterward I understood That God who made all the World was merciful to sinners and truly I saw my heart very sinful because I promised God to pray as long as I live but my heart hath not so done Again I promised God I will follow Christ in al things and now I find my heart backward and not so forward to make a Church God promiseth If foolish ones pray to God for Wisdom he will give it this Promise I beleeve but I find my heart full of temptations but now I promise God as in the Psalm * All my works shal be done in wisdom for I confess al my works and words have been foolish God is wise and good but I am foolish God who hath made the World sent his own Son Jesus and Jesus Christ hath died for us and deserved for us pardon and life this is true and he hath done for me all Gods Commandements for I can do nothing because I am very sinful God in Heaven is very merciful and therfore hath called me to pray unto God God hath promised to pardon al their sins who pray unto God and beleeve in the Promise of Christ and Christ can give me to beleeve in him When he had made this Confession he was much abashed for he is a bashful man many things he spoke that I missed for want of through understanding some words and sentences therfore before the Fast day he made another Confession which was not read before the Elders which was as followeth Nishohkou I am dead in sin Oh! that my sins might die for they cannot give life because they be dead before I prayed to God I did commit all filthynesse I prayed to many gods I was proud full of lusts adulteries and all others sins and therefore this is my first Confession that God is mercifull and I am a sinner for God have given unto me instruction and causeth me to pray unto God but I only pray words when I prayed I somtimes wondered and thought true it is that God made the world and me and then I thought I knew God because I saw these his works and then I was glad somtimes and gave thanks yet presently again I did not rejoyce in it Again somtimes I thought now I do wel because I pray and work not on the Sabbath daies but come to the Meetings and hear the Word of God But afterward again I thought I do not wel because true it is That yet I do not truly pray for now I see I sin when I pray because there is nothing but sin in my mouth or hand or heart and all sins are there for of these my sins my heart is full
thou Son of David but after they came to Christ he called them and asked them What shall I do for you they said Lord open our eyes then Christ had pity on them and opened their eyes and they followed Christ when I heard this my heart was troubled then I prayed to God and Christ to open mine eyes and if Christ open my eyes then I shall rejoyce to follow Christ then I considered of both these Scriptures and I a little saw that I must follow Christ And now my heart desireth to make confession of what I know of God and of my self and of Christ I beleeve that there is only one God and that he made and ruleth all the World and that he the Lord giveth us al good things I know that God giveth every day all good mercies life and health and all I have not one good thing but God it is that giveth it me I beleeve that God at first made man like God holy wise righteous but the first man sinned for God promised him If thou do my Commandements thou shalt live and thy children but if thou sin thou shalt die thou and thy children this Covenant God made with the first man But the first man did not do the Commandements of God he did break Gods Word he beleeved Satan and now I am full of sin because the first man brought sin dayly I am full of sin in my heart I do not dayly rejoyce in Repentance because Satan worketh dayly in my heart and opposeth Repentance and all good Works day and night my heart is full of sin I beleeve that Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary God promised her she should bear a Son and his Name should be JESUS because he shall deliver his people from their sins And when Christ came to preach he said Repent because the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand again Christ taught Except ye repent and become as a little child ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven therefore humble your selves like one of these little children and great shall be your Kingdom in Heaven Again Christ said Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden with sin and I will give you rest take up my Cross and Yoak learn of me for I am meek and ye shall find rest to your souls for my yoak is easie and burden light these are the Words of Christ and I know Christ he is good but my works are evil Christ his words are good but I am not humble but if we be humble and beleeving in Christ he pardons all our sins I now desire to beleeve in Jesus Christ because of the word of Christ that I may be converted and become as a little Child I confess my sins before God and before Jesus Christ this day now I desire all my sins may be pardoned I now desire repentance in my heart and ever to beleeve in Christ now I lift up my heart to Christ and trust him with it because I beleeve Christ died for us for all our sins and deserved for us eternal life in Heaven and deserved pardon for all our sins And now I give my soul to Christ because he hath redeemed I do greatly love and like repentance in my heart and I love to beleeve in Jesus Christ and my heart is broken by repentance al these things I do like wel of that they may be in my heart but because Christ hath all these to give I ask them of him that he may give me repentance and faith in Christ and therefore I pray and beseech Christ dayly for repentance and faith and other good waies I beg of Christ dayly to give me and I pray to Christ for al these gifts and graces to put them in my heart and now I greatly thank Christ for all these good gifts which he hath given me I know not any thing nor can do any thing that is a good work even my heart is dark dayly in what I should do and my soul dyeth because of my sins and therefore I give my soul to Christ because I know my soul is dead in sin and dayly doth commit sin in my heart I sin and all the members of my body are sinful I beleeve Jesus Christ is ascended to Heaven through the clouds and he will come again from Heaven Many saw Christ go up to Heaven and the Angels said even so he will come again to judg all the world and therefore I beleeve Gods promise That all men shall rise again when Christ cometh again then all shall rise and all their souls comes again because Christ is trusted with them and keeps their souls therefore I desire my sins may be pardoned and I beleeve in Christ and ever so long as I live I will pray to God and do all the good waies he commandeth Monequassun The Confession which he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth I Confess my sins before the Lord and before men this day a little while since I did commit many sins both in my hands and heart lusts thefts and many other sins and that every day and after I heard of praying to God and that others prayed to God my heart did not like it but hated it yea and mocked at it and after they prayed at Cohannet I stil hated it and when I heard the Word I did not like of it but thought of running away because I loved sin but I loved the place of my dwelling and therfore I thought I wil rather pray to God and began to do it a little I desired to learn the ten Commandements of God and other points of Catechisme and then a little I repented but I was quickly weary of repentance and fell again to sin and full of evil thoughts was my heart and then I played the Hypocrite and my heart was full of sin I learned some things but did not do what God commanded but I sinned and playd the Hypocrite some things I did before man but not before God But afterward I feared because of my sins and feared punishment for my sins therefore I thought again I would run away yet again I loving the place would not run away but would pray to God and I asked a Question at the Lecture which was this How I should get wisdom the Answer made me a little to understand but afterward I heard the word If any man lack wisdom let him ask it of God who giveth liberally to all that ask and upbraideth none But then I did fear Gods anger because of all my sins because they were great Afterward hearing that Word That Christ is named Jesus because he redeemeth us from all our sins I thought Christ would not save me because I repent not for he saveth only penitent Beleevers but I am not such an one but still a dayly sinner Afterward hearing that Word Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled then I
thought I am a poor sinner and poor is my heart then I prayed to God to teach me to do that which he requireth and to pray aright Afterward hearing that word Who ever looks upon a Woman to lust after her hath already committed Adultry with her in his heart then I thought I had done all manner of sins in the sight of God because he seeth lust in the heart and knoweth all the evil thoughts of my heart and then I did pray unto God Oh! give me Repentance and Pardon Afterwards when I did teach among the Indians I was much humbled because I could not reade right and that I sinned in it for I saw that when I thought to do a good work I sinned in doing it for I knew not what was right nor how to do it In the night I was considering of my sins and could not find what to do three nights I considered what to do and at last God shewed me mercy and shewed me what I should do And then I desired to learn to read Gods Word and hearing that if we ask wisdom of God he will give it then I did much pray to God that he would teach me to reade After a years time I thought I did not rightly seek and I thought I sinned because I did not rightly desire to read Gods Word and I thought my praying was sinful and I feared how should I my wife and child be cloathed if I spend my time in learning to reade but then God was merciful to me and shewed me that Word Say not what shall I eat or drink or wherewith shall I be cloathed wicked men seek after these but first seek the Kingdom of Heaven and these things shall be added to you then I prâ—yed God to teach me this word and that I might do it and then I desired to read Gods word what ever I wanted Afterward hearing that we must make a Town and gather a Church at Natick my heart disliked that place but hearing that word That Christ met two Fishers and said follow me and I will make you fishers of men and they presently left all and followed him hearing this I was much troubled because I had not beleeved Christ for I would not follow him to make a Church nor had I done what he commanded me and then I was troubled for all my sins Again hearing that word That the blind man called after Christ saying thou Son of David have mercy on me Christ asked him what he would have him do he said Lord open my eyes and presently Christ gave him sight and he followed Christ then again my heart was troubled for I thought I still beleeve not because I do not follow Christ nor hath he yet opened mine eyes then I prayed to Christ to open mine eyes that I might see what to do because I am blind and cannot see how to follow Christ and do what he commandeth and I prayed to Christ Teach me Lord what to do and to do what thou sayest and I prayed that I might follow Christ and then I thought I will follow Christ to make a Church All this trouble I had to be brought to be willing to make a Church and quickly after God laid upon me more trouble by sickness and death and then I much prayed to God for life for we were all sick and then God would not hear me to give us life but first one of my Children died and after that my Wife then I was in great sorrow because I thought God would no hear me and I thought it was because I would not follow him therefore he hears not me then I found this sin in my heart That I was angry at the punishment of God but afterward I considered I was a poor sinner I have nothing nor Child nor Wife I deserve that God should take away all mercies from me and then I repented of my sins and did much pray and I remembred the promise to follow Christ and my heart said I had in this sinned that followed not Christ and therefore I cryed for pardon of this sin and then hearing of this Word Who ever beleeveth in Christ his sins are pardoned he beleeving that Christ died for us and I beleeved Again hearing that Word If ye be not converted and become as a little Child you cannot go to Heaven then my heart thought I do not this but I deserve Hell fire for ever and then I prayed Christ Oh! turn me from my sin and teach me to hear thy Word and I prayed to my Father in Heaven and after this I beleeved in Christ for pardon Afterward I heard that Word That it is a shame for a man to wear long hair and that there was no such custom in the Churches at first I thought I loved not long hair but I did and found it very hard to cut it off and then I prayed God to pardon that sin also Afterward I thought my heart cared not for the Word of God but then I thought I would give my self up unto the Lord to do all his Word Afterward I heard that word If thy right foot offend thee cut it off or thy right hand or thy right eye its better to go to Heaven with one foot or hand or eye than having both to go to Hell then I thought my hair had been a stumbling to me therefore I cut it off and grieved for this fin and prayed for pardon After hearing that word Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavie laden with your sins and I will give rest to your souls then my heart thought that I do dayly hate my sins Oh! that I could go to Christ and Christ looketh I should come unto him therfore I will go unto him and therfore then I prayed Oh! Christ help me to come unto thee and I prayed because of all my sins that they may be pardoned For the first man was made like God in holiness and righteousness and God gave him his Covenant but Adam sinned beleeving the Devil therefore God was angry and therefore all we Children of Adam are like the Devil and dayly sin and break every Law of God full of evil thoughts words and works and only Christ can deliver us from our sins and he that beleeveth in Christ is pardoned but my heart of my self cannot beleeve Satan hath power in me but I cry to God Oh! give me faith and pardon my sin because Christ alone can deliver me from Hell therefore I pray Oh! Jesus Christ deliver me Christ hath provided the new Covenant to save Beleevers in Christ therefore I desire to give my soul to Christ for pardon of all my sins the first Covenant is broke by sin and we deserve Hell but Christ keepeth for us the new Covenant and therfore I betrust my soul with Christ Again I desire to beleeve in Christ because Christ will come to judgment and all shall rise again and all Beleevers in this life shall then be saved
the Commands of God I have been full of lusts and thefts c. all my life and all the time I have lived I have done contrary to the Command of God And I am now grieved now I hear of all my sins I beleeve Christ doth convert me to God and he calleth Children and old men and all men to turn unto God and from their sins he calleth to sorrow and repentance and ever to beleeve in Christ and who ever doth this shall be ever blessed in Heaven but if he do it not he perisheth if he turn not from sin dying he shall go to Hell for ever I think also that so long as I live God doth give me life I beleeve that we ought to gather into a Church to serve God as long as we live But I do not know whether yet God hath pardoned my sins or not but I know Christ and I know he hath already dyed for me because I cannot redeem my self Another who made Confession was named Poquanum which was as followeth His first Confession A Great while ago the English would tell me of God but I hated it and would go out of doors when they so spake unto me and I murmured at it When the Indians first prayed to God I did not think there was a God or that the Bible was Gods Book but that wise men made it When some prayed to God I went with them but I did not know God Afterward my mind was changed thus far That I desired to be wise as others were but yet I knew nothing of God yea after I prayed to God I still did think there was no God Afterward I found this in my heart That we pray to God for our souls then I thought all my praying was nothing because I was so foolish that I never thought of dying but after I learned That all must die and good mens souls go to Heaven and then I thought of dying and of my soul but then I thought we prayed for nothing but that our souls might go to Heaven I knew nothing of Christ But after when the Children were Catechised and taught the ten Commandements I hearkned and by them I came to know that there was a God and that there was sin against God and hereby God made me to see all my sins both before I prayed to God and since and I saw Gods anger against me for my sins before and since I prayed because sometimes I came not to the Meeting brake my word regarded not my children and I see sin in me and therfore I do greatly fear Gods anger Poquanum His Second Confession was as followeth BEfore I prayed unto God I greatly sinned I prayed to many gods and used Panwaning Adultery Lust Lying and al other sins and many were my sins evil thoughts evil words and nothing else but evil hatred and pride and all sins against God coveting other mens goods when I stole I added lying to it when I had done I was very proud I much hatred many men and loved them not because I was angry with them and thus I did every day I would slander my neighbors great was my pride I was dayly angry with my neighbors my heart was alwaies full of such waies When the English said Pray to God I cared not for God because I loved sin nor did I desire that God should forgive my sin Afterward I heard the word That if we truly pray mourn for sin cast off sin desire to hear the word and beleeve in Christ God will then pardon and when he dieth Christ will lead him to Heaven I much rejoyced to hear of this pardon but I must truly beleeve in Christ else I shal not have pardon and first I thought God will not pardon me because I still sinned But afterward I heard That though we should pray as long as we live and never sin more yet that was of no value but we must beleeve in Christ else there is no pardon and this I rejoyced at Another who made Confession is named Nookau which is as followeth His first Confession FIve years ago before I prayed I was sick I thought I should die at which I was much troubled and knew not what to do then I thought if there be a God above and he give life again then I shall beleeve there is a God above and God did give me life and after that I took up praying to God Now I beleeve God one God that made all the World and governeth it yet this I only said with my mouth I did not truly beleeve it in my heart Then I understood That God made the first man good and like God but he sinned and we have lost Gods Image and are like the Devil and deserve Hell and Damnation this I now know and see that I am foolish and sometime think not of God in an whol day sometime I do think of God every day sometime my heart greatly sinneth then sometime I presently fear but again sometimes I am slow to fear I am very foolish because I do not understand the Word but break the Word of God I beleeve the Catechism we learn to be according to the Word of God but the writings of the Bible are the very Words of God and the Spirit of God is the Word and that God giveth all things that are good I now see my sins before I prayed unto God and since and I beleeve that God seeth them all and my heart feareth because I do not yet forsake my sins and I think God will not forgive me because my heart is wicked I know not when Christ forgiveth my sins others may know but I desire that my sins may be pardoned for Christ his sake Nookau His Second Confession BEfore I prayed to God I greatly sinned every day I was proud and lived in adultery lying c. and my heart alwaies full of evil thoughts and when the English would instruct me I then thought my waies evil but the business of praying to God good then I did think if I could first understand then I would pray to God and I was glad to hear of any that did pray to God When I heard that word at Cohannet Who ever lacketh wisdom let him ask it of God let fools pray to God and he will give them wisdom I thought I was a fool and I beleeved that Word of God I heard that word of the dry bones God bid them hear and promised to put flesh and sinews and skin upon them and make them live therefore I desired to hear because I beleeved the dry bones and that I was one that did not know God afterward I was glad of praying to God Sometimes I beleeved not God and God will not look on such alwaies I thought God will not forgive me I wondred at all that prayed to God because I thought God had given them wisdom then I thought I am glad I pray to God Sometime my heart is broken because I shall
Therfore I feared that I am one blind and when I teach other Indians I shal caus them to fall into the ditch This is the love of God to me that he giveth me all mercy in this world and for them al I am thankfull but I confess I deserve Hell I cannot deliver my self but I give my Soul and my Flesh to Christ and I trust my soul with him for he is my Redeemer and I desire to call upon him while I live This was his Confession which ended Mr. Allin further demanded of him this Question How he found his heart now in the matter of Repentance His answer was I am ashamed of all my sins my heart is broken for them and melteth in me I am angry with my self for my sins and I pray to Christ to take away my sins and I desire that they may be pardoned But it was desired that further Question might be forborn lest time would be wanting to here them all speak Then Waban was called forth whose Confession was as followeth no former confession of his being read unto the Elders BEfore I heard of God and before the English came into this Country many evil things my heart did work many thoughts I had in my heart I wished for riches I wished to be a witch I wished to be a Sachem and many such other evils were in my heart Then when the English came still my heart did the same things when the English taught me of God I coming to their Houses I would go out of their doors and many years I knew nothing when the English taught me I was angry with them But a little while agoe after the great sikness I considered what the English do and I had some desire to do as they do and after that I began to work as they work and then I wondered how the English come to be so strong to labor then I thought I shall quickly die and I feared lest I should die before I prayed to God then I thought if I prayed to God in our Language whether could God understand my prayers in our Language therefore I did ask Mr. Jackson and Mr. Mahu If God understood prayers in our Language They answered me God doth understand all Languages in the World But I do not know how to confess and little do I know of Christ I fear I shall not beleeve a great while and very slowly I do not know what grace is in my heart there is but little good in me but this I know That Christ hath kept all Gods Commandements for us and that Christ doth know all our hearts and now I desire to repent of all my sins I neither have done nor can do the Commandements of the Lord but I am ashamed of all I do and I do repent of all my sins even of all that I do know of I desire that I may be converted from all my sins and that I might beleeve in Christ and I desire him I dislike my sins yet I do not truly pray to God in my heart no matter for good words all is the true heart and this day I do not so much desire good words as throughly to open my heart I confess I can do nothing but deserve damnation only Christ can help me and do for me But I have nothing to say for my self that is good I judg that I am a sinner and cannot repent but Christ hath deserved pardon for us This Confession being not so satisfactory as was desired Mr. Wilson testified that he spake these latter expressions with tears which I observed not because I attended to writing but I gave this testimony of him That his conversation was without offence to the English so far as I knew and among the Indians it was exemplar his gift is not so much in expressing himself this way but in other respects useful and eminent it being demanded in what respect I answered to this purpose That his gift lay in Ruling Judging of Cases wherein he is patient constant and prudent insomuch that he is much respected among them for they have chosen him a Ruler of Fifty and he Ruleth well according to his measure It was further said they thought he had been a great drawer on to Religion I replyed so he was in his way and did prevail with many and so it rested The next that was called was William of Sudbury his Indian Name is Nataôus his former Confession read before the Elders was as followeth I Confess that before I prayed I committed all manner of sins and served many gods when the English came first I going to their Houses they spake to me of your God but when I heard of God my heart hated it but when they said the Devil was my god I was angry because I was proud when I came to their houses I hated to hear of God I loved lust in my own house and not God I loved to pray to many gods Five years ago I going to English houses and they speaking of God I did a little like of it yet when I went again to my own house I did all manner of sins and in my heart I did act all sins though I would not be seen by man Then going to your house I more desired to hear of God and my heart said I will pray to God so long as I live then I went to the Minister Mr. Browns house and told him I would pray as long as I lived but he said I did not say it from my heart and I beleeve it When Wahan spake to me that I should pray to God I did so But I had greatly sinned against God and had not beleeved the Word but was proud but then I was angry with my self and loathed my self and thought God will not forgive me my sins For when I had been abroad in the woods I would be very angry and would lye unto men and I could not find the way how to be a good man then I beleeved your teaching That when good men die the Angels carry their souls to God but evil men dying they go to Hell and perish for ever I thought this a true saying and I promised to God to pray to God as long as I live I had a little grief in my heart five years ago for my sins but many were my prides somtime I was angry with my self and pityed my self but I thought God would not pardon such a proud heart as mine is I beleeve that Christ would have me to forsake my anger I beleeve that Christ hath redeemed us and I am glad to hear those words of God and I desire that I might do al the good waies of God and that I might truly pray unto God I do now want Graces and these Christ only teacheth us and only Christ hath wrought our redemption and he procureth our pardon for all our sins and I beleeve that when beleevers dy Gods Angels carry them to Heaven but I want faith to beleeve
the Word of God and to open my Eyes and to help me to cast away all sins and Christ hath deserved for me eternall life I have deserved nothing my self Christ hath deserved all and giveth me faith to beleeve it Willam of Sudbury His Indian Name is NATAÔUS The Confession which he made on the fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth BEfore I prayed to God I commited all sins and serving many gods I much despised praying unto God for I beleeved the Devil and he did dayly teach me to sin and I did them somtimes hearing of God my heart did hate it and went to my own house because I did love to commit all sin there About Six years ago a little I liked to hear of God and yet I hated that which was good hearing that Cutshamoquin prayed then I thought I will pray also a year after I heard of praying to God and I went to Mr. Browns house and told him I will pray to God as long as live he said I doubt of it and bid me cut off my hair and I did so presently and then I desired to be like God and Jesus Christ and to call on him but I found it very hard to beleeve yet I thought I wil pray as long as I live Hearing that Word That Christ dyed for us was buried rose again and hearing of that Word also Seek peace imbrace the Word then I began to beleeve that Christ died for us for sin and I saw my heart very full of sin And hearing that word That Christ went to the Mount Olives and ascended I beleeved and thought Oh that God would pardon me but I fear he will not because I have been so long time a sinner Somtime I am angry with my self for my many Evil thoughts in my heart and to this day I want grace and cannot confess because I have been so great a sinner and this day I confess a little I pray and that I can pray but a little and weakly When I heard that word of God That all from the rising to the setting Sun shall pray I first under stood it it not and wondered how it should be after I saw that when they beleeve and obey God then he will teach them to do right things and God will teach us to do al things for God sleeping and waking to be with God But still do foolishly and not according to my prayer I cannot get pardon of my sins for my sins are great in thought word and deed and no man can cast off his own sins but that is the work of Christ only to work it in us a man cannot make a right prayer but when Christ assisteth him then we shall do all things well I beleeve that Christ is God and the Son of God because when he dyed he rose again and he dyed for our sins and I beleeve he is in Heaven and ever prayeth for us and sendeth his gospel unto us and I am angry with my self because I do not beleeve the word of God and gospel of Jesus Christ The next which was called forth was Monequassun who is our School-master whose former Confession read before the Elders was as followeth I Confess my sorrow for all my sins against God and before men When I first heard instruction I beleeved not but laughed at it and scorned praying to God afterward when we were taught at Cohannet that is the place where he lived I still hated praying and I did think of running away because I cared not for praying to God but afterwards because I loved to dwell at that place I would not leave the place and therefore I thought I will pray to God because I would still stay at that place therefore I prayed not for the love of God but for love of the place I lived in after that I desired a little to learn the Catechisme on the Lecture daies and I did learn the ten Commandements and after that all the points in the Catechisme yet afterwards I cast them all away again then was my heart filled with folly and my sins great sins afterwards by hearing I began to fear because of my many sins lest the wise men should come to know them and punish me for them and then again I thought of running away because of my many sins But after that I thought I would pray rightly to God and cast away my sins then I saw my hypocricy because I did ask some questions but did not do that which I knew afterward I considered of my question and thought I would pray to God and would consider of some other Question and I asked this Question How should I get Wisdom and the Answer to it did a little turn my heart from sin to seek after God and I then considered that the Word of God was good then I prayed to God because of the Word of God The next Lecture day you taught that word of God If any man lack Wisdom let him ask it of God who giveth freely to them that ask him and upbraideth no man James 1. 5. Then again a little my heart was turned after God the Word also said Repent mourn and beleeve in Jesus Christ this also helped me on Then you taught That he that beleeveth not Christ and repenteth not of sin they are foolish and wicked and because they beleeve not they shall perish then I thought my self a fool because I beleeved not Christ but sinned every day and after I heard the Word I greatly broke the Word But afterward I heard this promise of God Who ever repenteth and beleeveth in Christ God will forgive him all his sins he shall not perish then I thought that as yet I do not repent and beleeve in Christ then I prayed to God because of this his Promise and then I prayed to God for God and for Christ his sake after that again I did a little break the Word of Christ And then I heard some other words of God which shewed me my sins and my breakings of Gods word and sometimes I thought God and Christ would forgive me because of the promise to them that beleeve in Christ and repent of sin I thought I did that which God spake in the Promise Then being called to confess to prepare to make a Church at Natick I loved Cohannet but after hearing this instruction That we should not only be Hearers but Doers of the Word then my heart did fear And afterward hearing that in Matthew Christ saw two brethren mending their Nets he said Follow me and I will make you Fishers of men presently they followed Christ and when I heard this I feared because I was not willing to follow Christ to Natick they followed Christ at his Word but I did not for now Christ saith to us follow Me then I was much troubled and considered of this Word of God Afterward I heard another word the blind men cryed after Christ and said Have mercy on us
because my heart doth sometimes lust and steal and the like Again I was not only proud before I prayed but now I am proud Again sometimes my heart is humbled and then I pray Oh God have mercy on me and pardon these my sins yet sometimes I know not whether God did either hear my prayer or pardon my sins Again afterwards I thought I had greatly sinned because I heard of the good way of praying unto God but I do wickedly because I pray not truly yea sometimes I have much ado to pray with my mouth and therfore I sin I heard of that good way to keep the Sabbath and not to work on that day and I did so but yet again I sinned in it because I did not reverence the Word of God yea and sometimes I thought that working on the Sabbath was no great matter Again I heard it was a good way to come to the Meetings and hear the word of God and I desired to do it but in this also I sinned because I did not truly hear yea sometimes I thought it no great matter if I heard not and cared not to come to hear and still I so sinned Then I thought God was angry because I have greatly sinned desiring to do well and yet again to sin When I desired to do well then I sinned and in all things I sinned But afterward I was angry with my self and thought I will not sin again and what God saith is good but I am sinful because I have done all these evils Again sometimes my heart is humbled and then I repent and say Oh God and Jesus Christ have mercy on me and pardon my sins Now I desire truly to pray now I desire to reverence the Word every Sabbath day now I desire to hear the Word of God truly now I desire to bend my heart to pray and it may be God will hear me but quickly after a temptation cometh to my heart and I did not desire it Again sometimes I did think true it is I can do nothing of my self but Jesus Christ must have mercy on me because Christ hath done for me all Gods Commandements and good Works therfore my heart saith Oh Jesus give me desires after thee sometimes I think it is true I have greatly sinned against God but great are his mercies sometimes I hear the Word on the Sabbath day and he giveth it me that is maketh it my own sometimes I say the great and mighty God is in Heaven but these are but words because I do not fear this great and mighty God and I sometimes regard not Gods Word and make it of none effect because I do not that which is good but commit sin sometimes I say I know Christ because I know he died for us and hath redeemed us and procured pardon for us yet again I say I sin because I beleeve not Christ for that only is right to beleeve in Christ and do what he saith but I think I do this in vain because I yet do not truly beleeve in Jesus Christ nor do what he commandeth and therefore my heart plays the hypocrite and now I know what is hypocrisie namely when I know what I should do and yet do it not Sometimes I think I am like unto Satan because I do al these sins and sin in all things I do if I pray I sin If I keep Sabbath I sin if I hear Gods Word I sin therefore I am like the Devil Now I know I deserve to go to Hell because all these sins I have committed then my heart is troubled and I say Oh God and Christ pardon all my sin for I cannot pardon my sins my self for the first man brought sin into the world and therfore I am sinful therfore I pray thee O Lord pardon all the sins which I have done Again sometimes my heart is humbled and I desire to fear God because he is a great God and I desire to do what he saith and now I desire to do the right way and now I desire to beleeve Jesus Christ and sometimes I think it may be God will hear me it may be he will pardon me yet again I think I cannot be ashamed of sin but now I am ashamed of all my sins and my heart is broken and all these my sins I cast off and take heed of yet then again I sometimes say to God I cannot my self be humbled or break my heart or cast off sin but I pray thee O Jesus help me to do it Again sometimes I confess this is true I cannot redeem my self nor deliver my self because of all these my many sins truly full is my heart of sin in every thing all my thoughts my words my looks my works are full of sin true 〈◊〉 therefore I cannot deliver my self from sin Oh redeem thou my soul from Hel and torment for I like not to do it with my own hand therfore I desire Jesus Christ that I may delight in him take thou me and my soul because thou hast done Gods word and all good works for me and hast procured pardon for all my sins and hast prepared pardon in Heaven therfore I desire Oh I desire pardon but I somtimes think Christ doth not delight in me because I do much play the hypocrite but if I truly beleeve then he will pardon but true faith I cannot work Oh Jesus Christ help me and give it me Another who made Confession is named Magus which is as followeth HEretofore I beleeved not that God made the world but I thought the world was of it self and all people grew up in the world of themselves When any bid me pray to God I said I cannot and none of our Rulers beleeve or pray to God yet I went about to seek how to pray to God I told the wise men I seek how to pray to God and all of them could not find how to pray to God Afterward I had a desire to pray God lest I should lose my soul but my heart run away and I could not find how to pray to God and therefore I thought of going away yet I also thought if I do go away I shall lose my ground But after this I heard of Gods anger against me and I beleeved it for God made the first man good and told him if he did well he should live and this day I beleeve all men should do so and then I thought I will pray as long as I live and I will labor because Gods promise is If we labor we shall eat and I see that that is a true word for they that do labor do eat that is have wherewith to be fed I see that sin alwaies hath continued from the beginning of the world I beleeve that word which God told Eve That in sorrow she should bring forth Children and I see it dayly to be true I beleeve that word of God that sin brings misery and all shall die because by sin we break all