Affections Fashions Customs Fortunes and the like in particular persons also the Sympathy and Antipathy of Dispositions Humours Passions Customs and Fashions of several persons also the particular Virtues and Graces in several persons and several Virtues and Graces in particular persons and all these Varieties to be drawn at the latter end into one piece as into one Company which in my opinion shews neither Usual Probable nor Natural For since the World is wide and populated and their various actions dispersed and spread about by each particular and Playes are to present them severally I perceive no reason they should force them together in the last Act as in one Community bringing them in as I may say by Head and Shoulders making the persons of each Humour good Fortunes Misfortunes Nations and Ages to have relations to each other but in this I have not followed the steps of precedent Poets for in my opinion I think it as well if not better if a Play ends but with two persons or one person upon the Stage besides I would have my Playes to be like the Natural course of all things in the World as some dye sooner some live longer and some are newly born when some are newly dead and not all to continue to the last day of Iudgment so my Scenes some last longer than othersome and some are ended when others are begun likewise some of my Scenes have no acquaintance or relation to the rest of the Scenes although in one and the same Play which is the reason many of my Playes will not end as other Playes do especially Comedies for in Tragi-Comedies I think Poets do not alwayes make all lye bleeding together but I think for the most part they do but the want of this swarm in the last Act and Scene may make my Playes seem dull and vacant but I love ease so well as I hate constraint even in my works for I had rather have a dull easy life than be forced to active gayeties so I had rather my Playes should end dully than unnecessarily be forced into one Company but some of my Playes are gathered into one sheaf or bundel in the latter end Likewise my Playes may be Condemned because they follow not the Antient Custome as the learned sayes which is that all Comedies should be so ordered and composed as nothing should be presented therein but what may be naturally or usually practiced or Acted in the World in the compass of one day truly in my opinion those Comedies would be very flat and dull and neither profitable nor pleasant that should only present the actions of one day for though Ben Johnson as I have heard was of that opinion that a Comedy cannot be good nor is a natural or true Comedy if it should present more than one dayes action yet his Comedies that he hath published could never be the actions of one day for could any rational person think that the whole Play of the Fox could be the action of one day or can any rational person think that the Alchymist could be the action of one day as that so many several Cozenings could be Acted in one day by Captain Face and Doll Common and could the Alchymist make any believe they could make gold in one day could they burn so many Coals and draw the purses of so many or so often from one person in one day and the like is in all his Playes not any of them presents the actions of one day although it were a day at the Poles but of many dayes nay I may say some years But to my reason I do not perceive a necessity that Comedies should be so closely packt or thrust up together for if Comedies are either to delight or to profit or to both they must follow no other rule or example but to put them into Scenes and Acts and to order their several discources in a Comedy so as Physicians do their Cordials wherein they mix many several Ingrediences together into one Electuary as sharp bitter salt and sweet and mix them so as they are both pleasing to the Tast and comfortable to the Stomach so Poets should order the several Humours Passions Customs Manners Fashions and practice of Mankind as to intermix them so as to be both delightfull to the Mind and Senses and profitable to the Life also Poets should do as Physicians or Apothecaries which put not only several sorts but several kinds of Drugs into one Medicine as Minerals and Vegetables together which are very different also they will mix several Druggs and Simples out of several Climates and Countries gathered out from all the parts of the World and upon occasion they will mix new and old Simples together although of one and the same sort and kind so Poets both in their Comedies and Tragedies must or at leastwise may represent several Nations Governments People Customs Fashions Manners Natures Fortunes Accidents Actions in one Play as also several times of Ages to one person if occasion requires as from Childhood to Manhood in one Play for Poets are to describe in Playes the several Ages Times Actions Fortunes Accidents and Humours in Nature and the several Customs Manners Fashions and Speeches of men thus Playes are to present the natural dispositions and practices of Mankind also they are to point at Vanity laugh at Follies disgrace Baseness and persecute Vice likewise they are to extol Virtue and to honour Merit and to praise the Graces all which makes a Poet Divine their works edifying to the Mind or Soul profitable to the Life delightfull to the Senses and recreative to Time but Poets are like Preachers some are more learned than others and some are better Orators than others yet from the worst there may be some good gained by them and I do not despair although but a Poetress but that my works may be some wayes or other serviceable to my Readers which if they be my time in writing them is not lost nor my Muse unprofitable M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Cannot chuse but mention an erronious opinion got into this our Modern time and men which is that it should be thought a crime or debasement for the nobler sort to Act Playes especially on publick Theatres although the Romans were of another opinion for not only the noble youth did Act in publick but some of the Emperours themselves though I do not commend it in the Emperours who should spend their times in realities and not in feigning yet certainly it was commendable in the noblest youths who did practice what ought to be followed or skinn'd for certainly there is no place wayes or means so edifying to Youth as publick Theatres not only to be Spectators but Actors for it learns them gracefull behaviours and demeanors it puts Spirit and Life into them it teaches them Wit and makes their Speech both voluble and tanable besides it gives them Confidence all which ought every man to have that is
I do esteem of such Riches as Money as I do of Marriage and in my nature I do hate them both for a man is enslaved by either wherefore I would shun them if I could and turn them out of doors but that some sorts of necessity and conveniency inforce me to entertain them the one for Posteritie sake the other for subsistence of present life besides convenient pleasures Lady Am. The Lady Ward who is to be your wife seems of a very dull disposition Lord Court She is so but I like her the better for that for I would have a deadly dull Wife and a lively Mistresse such a sprightly Lady as you are Lady Am. In truth my Lord I am of a melancholy Nature Lord Court Certainly Madam you onely know the Name not the Nature for your Nature is alwayes fresh and sweet and pleasant as the Spring Lady Am. O no my mind is like to VVinter and my thoughts are numb and cold Lord Court If your thoughts were so cold your words would be as if they were frozen between your lips all your discourse would melt by drops not flow so smoothly and swiftly into mens eares as they at all times do Lady Am. T is true I am merry when I am in your company but in your absence I am as dull as a cloudy day and as melancholy as dark night Lord Court I cannot believe so well of my self as that my company can be the light of your mirth but I know that your company is the Sun of my life nor could I live without it Ex. Scene 11. Enter the Lord Title Sir Effeminate Lovely and Sir Golden Riches LOrd Title This is a barren Country for in all this progresse I have not seen a pretty Country wench Effeminate Lovely Nor I Golden Riches Nor I Lord Title If an person can tell it is Tom Purveyer Enter Tom Purveyer Now Tom Purveyer are there no pretty wenches in this part of the Countrey Tom Purveyer Yes that there are an it please your Lorship and not far off two as pretty wenches as are in the Kingdome and no dispraise to the rest They all speak All Where where Tom Purveyer Hard by here at a Farmers House the one is his Daughter the other is his Servant-Maid All Prethee Tom show us the house Tom Purveyer Not all at once but one after another All Nay faith Tom let us all see them at once but we will Court them apart Tom Purveyer Content Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Conversation and Sir Fancy Poet LAdy Conversation What is the reason that Mercury is feign'd to be the patron of Thieves Sir Fancy Poet That is to be the patron of Scholars for Scholars are the greatest Thieves stealing from the Authours they read to their own use Lady Convers. And why are Scholars counted the greatest Thieves Sir Fancy Poet Because that they steal the Spirits or life of renown out of the treasury of Fame when all other sorts of Thieves steal but the goods of Fortune which is nothing but a Corporal dross Convers. And why is he feigned the talkative God Sir Fancy Poet Because Scholars talk more than other men and most commonly so much as they will let none speak but themselves and when there is a Company of Scholars together they will be so fierce in disputes as they will be ready to go to cuffs for the Prerogative of their opinion Convers. The Prerogative of the tongue you mean but why are Scholars apt to talk most Sir Fancy Poet Because they overcharge their heads with several Authors as Epicures do their Stomacks with variety of meats and being overcharged they are forced to vent it forth through the mouth as the other through the gut for the tongue as a Feather tickles the throat of Vainglory vomiting out the slime of Learning into the ears of the hearers but some heads as Stomacks which are naturally weak are so grip'd by reason it doth not disgest well as they vent nothing but windy Phrases and other brains which are hot and moist by reason of a facil memory disgest so fast as they do nothing but purge loose Sentences and other brains that are too dry and Incipid are so costive as their restringency strains out nothing but strong lines Convers. What is that Non-sense Sir Fancy Poet Indeed they are hard words without sense Convers. What makes a good Poet Sir Fancy Poet A quick Fancy Convers. What makes a good Oratour Sir Fancy Poet A ready Tongue Convers. What makes a good Physician Sir Fancy Poet Much Practice Convers. What makes a good Divine Sir Fancy Poet A Holy Life Convers. What makes a good States-Man Sir Fancy Poet Long experience great observance prudent industry ingenuous wit and distinguishing judgment Convers. What makes a good Souldier Sir Fancy Poet Change of Fortune Courage Prudence and Patience Convers. What makes a good Courtier Sir Fancy Poet Diligence Flattery and time-serving Convers. VVhat makes a good Prince or Governour Sir Fancy Poet Justice Clemency Generosity Courage and Prudence mixt together Convers. VVhat makes a good VVoman Sir Fancy Poet A Poet Convers. VVhy a Poet Sir Fancy Poet By reason the Poetical wits convert their natural defects into sweet graces their follies to pure innocencies and their Vices into Heroick Virtues Convers. By these descriptions you make as if women were more obliged to Poets than to Nature Sir Fancy Poet They are so for where Nature or Education makes one good or beautiful VVoman Poets make ten besides Poets have not only made greater numbers of beautiful women but perfecter beauties than ever Nature made Convers. Then let me tell you that women make Poets for women kindle the masculine brains with the fire of Love from whence arises a Poetical flame and their Beauty is the fuel that feeds it Sir Fancy Poet I confess were there no women there would be no Poets for the Muses are of that Sex Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 13. Enter Roger Farmer and Maudling his Wife MAudling Huswife Truly Husband our Maid Poor Virtue is a very industrious Servant as ever I had in my life Roger Farmer Yes wife but you were angry with me at first because I perswaded you to take her Maudling Huswife VVhy she seem'd to be so fine a feat as I thought she would never have setled to her work Roger Farmer Truly VVife she does forecast her business so prudently and doth every thing so orderly and behaves her self so handsomely carryes her self so modestly as she may be a Pattern to our Daughter Maudling Huswife I am a better Pattern my self Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Poor Virtue with a Sheephook as comming from tending her sheep and the Lord Title meets her LOrd Title Fair Maid may I be your Shepheard to attend you Poor Virtue I am but a single Sheep that needs no great attendance and a harmless one that strayes not forth the ground I am put to feed Lord Title Mistake me not fair Maid I
light from the Sun or the World from its Center or the fix'd Stars from their assigned places than draw away love from him Sensible Why how if he will not have you Amor I can only say I shall be unhappy Sensible I hope you will be wiser than to make your self miserable for one you cannot have to be your Husband Exeunt Scene 27. Enter many of Monsieur Malateste's Servants writing against their Master and Ladies comming home Enter Monsieur Malateste and his Lady SErvants Heaven give your Worship joy and our noble Lady Madam Mal. What is this your best House Monsieur Mal. Yes and is it not a good one Sweet Madam Mal. Fie upon it I hate such an old-fashiond House wherefore pray pull it down and build another more fashionable as that there may be a Bell-view and Pergalus round the outside of the Horse also Arched Gates Pillars and Pilasters and carved Frontispeeces with Antick Imagery also I would have all the lower rooms vaulted and the upper rooms flat-roof'd painted and gilded and the Planchers checker'd and inlaid with silver the Stair-case to be large and winding the steps broad and low as shallow then to take in two or three Fields about your House to make large Gardens wherein you may plant Groves of Mirtle as also to make Walks of green Turf and those to be hanging and shelving as if they hung by Geometry also Fountains and Water-works and those Water-works to imitate those Birds in Winter that only sing in Summer Monsieur Mal. But this will cost a great summ of money Wise Madam Mal. That 's true Husband but to what use is money unless to spend Monsieur Mal. But it ought to be spent prudently Madam Mal. Prudently say you why Prudence and Temperance are the Executioners of Pleasure and Murtherers of Delight wherefore I hate them as also this covetous humour of yours Exeunt Monsieur Malateste and his Wife 1 Servant I marry Sir here is a Lady indeed for she talks of pulling down this House before she hath throughly seen it and of building up another 2 Servant If you will have my opinion the old servants must go down as well as the old house 3 Servant I believe so for she look'd very scornfully upon us nor spoke not one word either good or bad to us 4 Servant Well come let us go about our imployments and please as long as we can and when we can please no longer we must seek other Services Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madam Soeur MAdam Soeur Do not pursue such horrid Acts as to Whore your Sister Cuckold your Brother-in-Law dishonour your Father and brand your life and memory with black infamy Good Brother consider what a world of misery you strive to bring upon your self and me Frere Dear Sister pity me and let a Brothers pleading move your heart and bury not my youth in Death before the natural time Soeur 'T is better you should die and in the grave be laid than live to damn your soul Frere To kill my self will be as bad a crime Soeur O no for Death any way is more honourable than such a life as you would live Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the two Gentlemen 1 Gent. FRiend prethee tell me why you do not marry 2 Gent. Because I can find no woman so exact as I would have a Wife to be for first I would not have a very tall woman for the appears as if her soul and body were mis-match'd as to have a pigmy soul and a gyantly body 1 Gent. Perchance her soul is answerable to her body 2 Gent. O no for it is a question whether women have souls or no but for certain if they have they are of a dwarfish kind Neither would I have a wife with a masculine strength for it seems praeposterous to the softness and tenderness of their Sex neither would I have lean wife for she will appear always to me like the picture of Death had she but a sythe and hour-glass in her hand for though we are taught to have always Death in our Mind to remember our End yet I would not have Death always before my Eyes to be afraid of my End But to have a very lean wife were to have Death in my Arms as much as in my Eyes and my Bed would be as my Grave 1 Gent. Your Bed would be a warm Grave 2 Gent. Why man though Death is cold the Grave is hot for the Earth hath heat though Death hath none 1 Gent. What say you to a fat woman 2 Gent. I say a fat woman is a bed-fellow only for the Winter and not for the Summer and I would have such a woman for my Wife as might be a nightly companion all the year 1 Gent. I hope you would not make your Wife such a constant bed-fellow as to lie always together in one bed 2 Gent. Why not 1 Gent. Because a mans stomack or belly may ake which will make wind work and the rumbling wind may decrease love and so your wife may dislike you and dislike in time may make a Cuckold 2 Gent. By your favour it increases Matrimonial Love 't is true it may decrease Amorous Love and the more Amorous Love increases the more danger a man is in for Amorous Love even to Husbands is dangerous for that kind of Love takes delight to progress about when Matrimonial Love is constant and considers Nature as it is Besides a good Wife will not dislike that in her Husband which she is subject to her self but howsoever I will never marry unless I can get such a Wife as is attended by Virtue directed by Truth instructed by Age on honest grounds and honourable principles which Wife will neither dislike me nor I her but the more we are together the better we shall love and live as a maried pair ought to live and not as dissembling Lovers as most maried couples do 1 Gentlem. What think you of choosing a Wife amongst the Sociable Virgins 2 Gent. No no I will choose none of them for they are too full of discourse for I would have a Wife rather to have a listning Ear than a talking Tongue for by the Ear she may receive wise instructions and so learn to practise that which is noble and good also to know my desires as to obey my will when by speaking muck she may express her self a fool for great Talkers are not the wisest Practisers Besides her restless Tongue will disturb my Contemplations the Tranquillity of my Mind and the peace quiet and rest of my Life Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Madam Malateste and another Maid and Nan the former Ladies Maid MAdam Mal. Are you she that takes upon you to govern and to be Mistris in this House Nan Why I do but that I did in the other Ladies time Madam Mal. Let me tell you you shall not do so in my time nay you shall have no doings wherefore get you out of the
Gentlemen Doll Pascify Gentlemen would you speak with me Monsieur la Gravity Yes for we desire you will help us to the honour of kissing your Ladyes hands thereon to offer our service Doll Pacify Sir you must excuse me for the Sign of VVidowhood is not as yet hung out Mourning is not on nor the scutcheons are not hung over the Gate but if you please to come two or three dayes hence I may do you some service but now it will be to no purpose to tell my Lady for I am sure she will receive no visits Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General and many Commanders Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur le Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort and divers Gentlemen Messengers Servants Officers and others Lady Victoria and many Heroicks Lady Jantils Lady Passionate Doll Pacify Nell Careless City Wives and others THE SECOND PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOll Pacify Good Master Priest go comfort my old Lady Doctor Comfort If you will Comfort me I will strive to Comfort her Doll Pacify So we shall prove the Crums of Comfort Doctor Comfort But is my Lady so sad still Doll Pacify Faith to day she hath been better than I have seen her for she was so patient as to give order for Blacks but I commend the young Lady Madam Iantil who bears out the Siege of Sorrow most Couragiously and on my Conscience I believe will beat grief from the fort of her heart and become victorious over her misfortunes Doctor Comfort Youth is a good Souldier in the Warfare of Life and like a valiant Cornet or Ensign keeps the Colours up and the Flag flying in despite of the Enemies and were our Lady as young as Madam Iantil she would grieve less but to lose an old Friend after the loss of a young Beauty is a double nay a trible affliction because there is little or no hopes to get another good Husband for though an old woman may get a Husband yet ten thousand to one but he will prove an Enemy or a Devill Doll Pacify It were better for my Lady if she would marry again that her Husband should prove a Devill than a Mortal Enemy for you can free her from the one though not from the other for at your words the great Devil will avoid or vanish and you can bind the lesser Devils in Chains and whip them with holy Rods untill they rore again Doctor Comfort Nay we are strong enough for the Devil at all times and in all places neither can he deceive us in any shape unless it be in the shape of a young Beauty and then I confess he overcomes us and torments our hearts in the fire of love beyond all expression Doll Pacify If I were a Devil I would be sure to take a most beautifull shape to torment you but my Lady will torment me if I stay any longer here Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Sir you being newly come from the Army pray what news 2 Gent. I suppose you have heard how our Army was forced to fight by the Enemies provocations hearing the Lord General lay sick whereupon the Generals Lady the Lady Victoria caused her Amazonians to march towards the Masculine Army and to entrench some half a mile distance therefrom which when the Masculine Army heard thereof they were very much troubled thereat and sent a command for them to retreat back fearing they might be a disturbance so a destruction unto them by doing some untimely or unnecessary action but the Female Army returned the Masculine Army an Answer that they would not retreat unless they were beaten back which they did believe the Masculine Sex would not having more honour than to fight with the Female Sex but if the men were so base they were resolved to stand upon their own defence but if they would let them alone they would promise them upon the honour of their words not to advance any nearer unto the Masculine Army as long as the Masculine Army could assault their Enemies or defend themselves and in this posture I left them Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Victoria and her Heroickesses LAdy Victoria Noble Heroickesses I have intelligence that the Army of Reformations begins to flag wherefore now or never is the time to prove the courage of our Sex to get liberty and freedome from the Female Slavery and to make our selves equal with men for shall Men only sit in Honours chair and Women stand as waiters by shall only Men in Triumphant Chariots ride and Women run as Captives by shall only men be Conquerors and women Slaves shall only men live by Fame and women dy in Oblivion no no gallant Heroicks raise your Spirits to a noble pitch to a deaticall height to get an everlasting Renown and infinite praises by honourable but unusual actions for honourable Fame is not got only by contemplating thoughts which lie lasily in the Womb of the Mind and prove Abortive if not brought forth in living deeds but worthy Heroickesses at this time Fortune desires to be the Midwife and if the Gods and Goddesses did not intend to favour our proceedings with a safe deliverance they would not have offered us so fair and fit an opportunity to be the Mothers of glorious Actions and everlasting Fame which if you be so unnatural to strangle in the Birth by fearfull Cowardize may you be blasted with Infamy which is worse than to dye and be forgotten may you be whipt with the torturing tongues of our own Sex we left behind us and may you be scorned and neglected by the Masculine Sex whilst other women are preferred and beloved and may you walk unregarded untill you become a Plague to your selves but if you Arm with Courage and fight valiantly may men bow down and worship you birds taught to sing your praises Kings offer up their Crowns unto you and honour inthrone you in a mighty power May time and destiny attend your will Fame be your scribe to write your actions still And may the Gods each act with praises fill All the women Fear us not fear us not we dare and will follow you wheresoever and to what you dare or will lead us be it through the jawes of Death THE PRAYER Lady Victoria GReat Mars thou God of War grant that our Squadrons may like unbroaken Clouds move with intire Bodyes let Courage be the wind to drive us on and let our thick swell'd Army darken their Sun of hope with black despair let us powre down showers of their blood to quench the firy flames of our revenge And where those showers fall their Deaths as seeds Sown in times memory sprout up our deeds And may our Acts Triumphant gat lands make Which Fame may wear for our Heroicks sake Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOctor Comfort Doll how doth our Lady since the burying of my Patron Doll Pacify
Here on this Figure Cast a Glance But so as if it were by Chance Your eyes not fixt they must not stay Since this like Shadowes to the Day It only represent's for Still Her Beuty 's found beyond the Skill Of the best Paynter to Imbrace Those louely Lines within her fure View her Soul's Picture Iudgment will Then read those Lines which Shee hath writt By Phancy's Pencill drawne alone Which Peece but Shee Can justify owne PLAYES Written by the Thrice NOBLE ILLUSTRIOUS AND Excellent Princess THE LADY MARCHIONESS OF NEWCASTLE LONDON Printed by A. Warren for Iohn Martyn Iames Allestry and Tho. Dicas at the Bell in Saint Pauls Church Yard 1662 THE DEDICATION TO those that do delight in Scenes and wit I dedicate my Book for those I writ Next to my own Delight for I did take Much pleasure and delight these Playes to make For all the time my Playes a making were My brain the Stage my thoughts were acting there THE EPISTLE DEDICATORY MY LORD MY resolution was that when I had done writing to have dedicated all my works in gross to your Lordship and I did verily believe that this would have been my last work but I find it will not unless I dye before I have writ my other intended piece And as for this Book of Playes I believe I should never have writ them nor have had the Capacity nor Ingenuity to have writ Playes had not you read to me some Playes which your Lordship had writ and lye by for a good time to be Acted wherein your Wit did Create a desire in my Mind to write Playes also although my Playes are very unlike those you have writ for your Lordships Playes have as it were a natural life and a quick spirit in them whereas mine are like dull dead statues which is the reason I send them forth to be printed rather than keep them concealed in hopes to have them first Acted and this advantage I have that is I am out of the fear of having them hissed off from the Stage for they are not like to come thereon but were they such as might deserve applause yet if Envy did make a faction against them they would have had a publick Condemnation and though I am not such a Coward as to be affraid of the hissing Serpents or stinged Tongues of Envy yet it would have made me a little Melancholy to have my harmless and innocent Playes go weeping from the Stage and whipt by malicious and hard-hearted censurers but the truth is I am careless for so I have your applause I desire no more for your Lordships approvement is a sufficient satisfaction to me My Lord Your Lordships honest Wife and faithfull Servant M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Must ask pardon for that I said I should not trouble you with more of my works than this Book of Playes but since I have considered with my self there is one work more which is very fit for me to do although I shall not be able to do it so well as the subject will deserve being the Life of my Noble Lord but that work will require some time in the gathering together some several passages for although I mean not to write of all the particulars of these times yet for as much as is concerning that subject I shall write of it will be requirable but it is a work that will move so slowly as perchance I shall not live to finish it but howsoever I will imploy my time about it and it will be a satisfaction to my life that I indeavour it M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS THe reason why I put out my Playes in print before they are Acted is first that I know not when they will be Acted by reason they are in English and England doth not permit I will not say of Wit yet not of Playes and if they should yet by reason all those that have been bred and brought up to Act are dead or dispersed and it would be an Act of some time not only to breed and teach some Youths to Act but it will require some time to prove whether they be good Actors or no for if they are not bred to it whilst they be young they will never be good Actors when they are grown up to be men for although some one by chance may have naturally a facility to Action and a Volubility of Speech and a good memory to learn and get the Parts by heart or wrote yet it is very unlikely or indeed impossible to get a whole Company of good Actors without being taught and brought up thereto the other reason is that most of my Playes would seem tedious upon the Stage by reason they are somewhat long although most are divided into first and second Parts for having much variety in them I could not possibly make them shorter and being long it might tire the Spectators who are forced or bound by the rules of Civility to sit out a Play if they be not sick for to go away before a Play is ended is a kind of an affront both to the Poet and the Players yet I believe none of my Playes are so long as Ben Johnson's Fox or Alchymist which in truth are somewhat too long but for the Readers the length of the Playes can be no trouble nor inconveniency because they may read as short or as long a time as they please without any disrespect to the Writer but some of my Playes are short enough but the printing of my Playes spoils them for ever to be Acted for what men are acquainted with is despised at lest neglected for the newness of Playes most commonly takes the Spectators more than the Wit Scenes or Plot so that my Playes would seem lame or tired in action and dull to hearing on the Stage for which reason I shall never desire they should be Acted but if they delight or please the Readers I shall have as much satisfaction as if I had the hands of applause from the Spectators M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS ALthough I expect my Playes will be found fault with by reason I have not drawn the several persons presented in a Circular line or to a Trianglar point making all the Actors to meet at the latter end upon the Stage in a flock together likewise that I have not made my Comedies of one dayes actions or passages yet I have adventured to publish them to the World But to plead in my Playes behalf first I do not perceive any reason why that the several persons presented should be all of an acquaintance or that there is a necessity to have them of one Fraternity or to have a relation to each other or linck'd in alliance as one Family when as Playes are to present the general Follies Vanities Vices Humours Dispositions Passions Affections Fashions Customs Manners and practices of the whole World of Mankind as in several persons also particular Follies Vanities Vices Humours Passions
Studious How not to go nor to go no more would you desire me from that which you perswaded me to Nay so much as I could never be quiet disturbing my harmless studies and happy mind crossing my pleasing thoughts with complaining words but I perceive you grow jealouse and now you are acquainted you have no more use of me but would be glad to quit my company that you may be more free abroad Lady Ignorance No Husband truely I will never go abroad but will inancor my self in my own house so you will stay at home and be as you were before for I see my own follies and am ashamed of my self that you should prove me such a fool Sir P. Studious Do you think me so wise and temperate a man as I can on a sudden quit vain pleasures and lawfull follies Lady Ignorance Yes or else you have studied to little purpose Sir P. Studious Well for this day I will stay at home and for the future time I will consider Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Servants of the Generals I. Servant This boy that came but the other day hath got more of my Lords affection than we that have served him this many years 2. Servant New-comers are alwaies more favoured than old waiters for Masters regards old Servants no more than the Imagerie in an old suit of Hanging which are grown threed-bare with time and out of fashion with change Besides new Servants are more industrious and diligent than old but when he hath been here a little while he will be as lazie as the rest and then he will be as we are I. Servant I perceive my Lord delights to hear him talk for he will listen very a tentively to him but when we offer to speak he bids us to be silent 2. Servant I wonder he should for when we speak it is with gravity and our discourse is sententious but his is meer squibs Enter Affectionata Affectionata Gentlemen my Lord would have one of you to come to him I. Servant Why I thought you could supply all our places for when you are with him he seems to have no use of us Affectionata It shall not be for want of will but ability if I do not serve him in every honest office I. Servant So you will make some of us knaves Affectionata I cannot make you knaves unless you be willing to be knaves your selves 2. Servant What do you call me knave Affectionata I do not call you so Ex. 2. Servant Well I will be revenged if I live Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman REformer Madam I have inquired what this Sir Serious Dumb is and 't is said he is one of the finest Gentlemen in this Kingdom and that his valour hath been proved in the wars and that he is one that is very active and dexterous in all manly exercises as riding fencing vaulting swimming and the like Also that he is full of inventions and a rare Poet and that he hath a great Estate only that he is dumb and hath been so this twelve years and upwards Lady Bashfull Reformer What makes you so industrious to inquire after him surely thou art in love within Reformer In my conscience I liked him very well when he was to see you Lady Bashfull The truth is he cannot weary you with words nor anger you in his discourse but pray do not inquire after him nor speak of him for people will think I have some designe of marriage Reformer I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata He strokes Affectionata's head LOrd Singularity Affectionata Thou art one of the diligent'st boys that had Affectionata How can I be otherwise Sir since you are the Governour of my soul that commands the Fort of my passion and the Castle of my imaginations which are the heart and the head Lord Singularity Do you love me so much Affectionata So well my Lord as you are the archetectour of my mind the foundation of my thoughts and the gates of my memories for your will is the form your happiness the level and your actions the treasurie Lord Singularity Thy wit delights me more than thy flattery perswades for I cannot believe a boy can love so much Besides you have not served me so long as to beget love Affectionata I have loved you from my infancy for as I suck'd life from my Nurses breast so did I Love from fames drawing your praises forth as I did milk which nourished my affections Lord Singularity I shall strive boy to require thy love Affectionata To requite is to return love for love Lord Singul. By Heaven I love thee as a Father loves a son Affectionata Then I am blest Exeunt Scene 23. Enter two Souldiers 1. SOuldier What is this boy that our General is so taken with 2. Souldier A poor Begger-boy 1. Souldier Can a poor Begger-boy merit his affections 2. Souldier He is a pretty boy and waites very diligently 1. Souldier So doth other boys as well as he but I believe he is a young Pimp and carries and conveys Love-letters 2. Souldier Like enough to for boys are strangely crafty in those imployments and so industrious as they will let no times nor opportunities slip them but they will find waies to deliver their Letters and messages Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page and Sir Serious Dumb who gives a Note to the Page to read PAge Sir I dare not direct you to my Lady as you desire me in this Note and if I should tell her here is a Gentleman that desired to visit her she would refuse your visit Dumb gives the young Page four or five pieces of Gold Page I will direct you to the room wherein my Lady is but I must not be seen nor confess I shewed you the way Page and Sir Serious Dumb Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Come Affectionata sit down and entertain me with thy sweet discourse which makes all other company troublesome and tedious to me thine only doth delight me Affectionata My Noble Lord I wish the plat-form of my brain were a Garden of wit and then perchance my tongue might present your Excellencies with a Posie of flowery Rhethorick but my poor brain is barren wanting Lord Singularity Thou hast an eloquent tongue and a gentle soul Affectionata My Noble Lord I have hardly learn'd my native words much less the eloquence of Language and as for the souls of all mankind they are like Common-wealths where the several vertues and good graces are the Citizens therein and the natural subjects thereof but vices and follies as the thievish Borderers and Neighbour-enemies which makes inrodes factions mutinies intrudes and usurps Authority and if the follies be more than the good graces and the vices too strong for the vertues the Monarchy of a good life falls to ruine also it is indangered by Civil-wars amongst the passions Lord Singularity What
Come fellow-souldiers are you ready to march 2. Commander Whether 1. Commander Into our own native Country for our General is sent sol home 3. Commander Except there be wars in our own Country we cannot go with him 1. Commander I know not whether there be wars or peace but he obeys for he is preparing for his journey 2. Commander Who shall be General when he is gone 3. Commander I know not but I hear the States offers to make our young Lieutenant-General General but he refuseth it 2. Commander Would they would make me General 3. Commander If thou wert General thou wouldst put all method out of order 1. Commander Faith Gentlemen I would lead you most prudently and give you leave to plunder most unanimously 1. Commander And we would fight couragiously to keep what we plunder 2. Commander Come let us go and inquire how our affairs goeth Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Now Affectionata we have taken our leave of the States I hope thy mind is at peace and freed from fears of being staid Affectionata Yes my my Lord Lord Singularity They did perswade thee much to stay Affectionata They seemed much troubled for your Lordships departure Lord Singularity Truly I will say thus much for my self that I have done them good service and I must say thus much for them that they have rewarded me well Affectionata I have heard my Lord that States seldom rewards a service done wherefore I believe they hope you will return again and sees you for that end Lord Singularity I shall not be unwilling when my Country hath no imployment for me Affectionata Methinks my Lord since you have gotten a fame abroad you should desire to live a setled life at home Lord Singularity A setled life would seem but dull to me that hath no wife nor children Affectionata You may have both If you please my Lord Lord Singularity For children I desire none since I have thee and wives I care not for but what are other mens Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Lord Singularity Lord Singularity From whence comest thou friend Messenger From Rome my Lord Lord Singularity If you please to stay in the next room I shall speak to you presently Messenger Exit The Lord Singularity breaks up the Letter and reads Lord Singularity Affectionata From whence do you think this Letter comes Affectionata I cannot guess my Lord Lord Singularity From the Pope who hath heard so much of thy youth vertue wit and courage as he desires me to pass thorough Rome im my journey home that he might see thee Affectionata Pray Heaven his Holynesse doth not put me into a Monastery and force me to stay behind you Lord Singularity If he should I will take the habit and be incloistered with thee but he will not inforce a youth that hath no will thereto Affectionata Truly my Lord I have no will to be a Fryer Lord Singularity Indeed it is somewhat too lazie a life which all heroick Spirits shames for those loves liberty and action But I will go and dispatch this Messenger and to morrow we will begin our journey Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Wagtail Faith Amorous it had been a victory indeed worth the bragging off if we could have taken Sir Peaceable Studious Loves prisoner and could have infettered him in Cupid's bonds Lady Amorous It had been a victory indeed for I will undertake to inslave five Courtiers and ten Souldiers sooner and in less time than one studious Scholar Lady Wagtail But some Scholars are more easily taken than the luxurious Courtiers or deboist Souldiers Lady Amorous O no! for Luxurie and Rapine begets lively Spirits but a study quenches them out Lady Wagtail One would think so by Sir Peaceable Studious but not by some other Scholars that I am acquainted with Lady Amorous But confess Lady Wagtail do not you find a studious Scholar dull company in respect of a vain Courtier and a rough Souldier Lady Wagtail I must confess they that study Philosophy are little too much inclined to morality but those that study Theologie are not so restringent Lady Amorous Well for my part since I have been acquainted with Sir Peaceable Studious I hate all Scholars Exeunt Scene 24. Enter three Men as the Inhabitants of Rome 1. T Is a wonder such a youth as the Lord Singularity's Son is should have so great a wit as to be able to dispute with so many Cardinals 2. Man The greater wonder is that he should have the better of them 1. Man 'T is said the Pope doth admire him and is extreamly taken with him 2. Man If Iove had so much admired him he would have made him his Ganimed 1. Man He offered to make him a living Saint but he thanked his Holyness and said he might Saint him but not make him holy enough to be a Saint for said he I am unfit to have Prayers offered to me that cannot offer Prayers as I ought or live as I should then he offered him a Cardinals hat but he refused it saying he was neither wise enough nor old enough for to accept of it for said he I want Ulisses head and Nestors years to be a Cardinal for though less devotion will serve a Cardinal than a Saint yet politick wisdom is required 3. Man Pray Neighbours tell me which way and by what means I may see this wonderfull youth for I have been out of the Town and not heard of him 2. Man You cannot see him now unless you will follow him where he is gone 1. Man Why whether is he gone 2. Man Into his own Country and hath been gone above this week 3. Man Nay I cannot follow him thither Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata as being in the Country Lord Singularity Affectionata you have promised me to be ruled by me in every thing so that you may not part from me Affectionata I have my Lord and will obey all your commands so far as I am able Lord Singularity Then I am resolved now I am returned into my own Country to get thee a wife that thy fame and worthy acts may live in thy Posterity Affectionata Iove bless me a wife by Heaven my Lord I am not man enough to marry Lord Singul. There is many as young as you that have been Fathers and have had children Affectionata If they were such as I am they might father Children but never get them Lord Singularity Thou art modest Affectionata but I will have you marry and I will chose thee such a wife as modest as thy self Affectionata Then we never shall have children Sir Lord Singul. Love and acquaintance will give you confidence but tell me truly Affectionata didst thou never court a Mistriss Affectionata No truly Sir Lord Singularity Well I will have you practice Courtship and though I will not directly be your Band or Pimp yet I
Doctor help may be found in giving directions and ordering the cordial Doctor So I understand you would have my counsel what you should do and my industry to order and get a meeting between Monsieur Discretion and you and to make the match betwixt you Volante You understand me right Doctor VVell I will study the means and trye if I can procure thee a man Volante Good fortune be your guide Doctor And Monsieur Discretion your Husband Ex. Scene 41. Enter Madamosel Caprisia alone CApris. Thoughts be at rest for since my love is honest and the person I love worthy I may love honourably for he is not only learned with study experienced with time and practice but he is natures favourite she hath endued his soul with uncontrouled reason his mind with noble thoughts his heart with heroick generosity and his brain with a supream wit Besides she hath presented his judgement and understanding with such a clear Prospective-glasse of speculations and such a Multiplying-glass of conception as he seeth farther and discerns more into natures works than any man she hath made before him She slops a little time then speaks But let me consider I have us'd this worthy Gentleman uncivilly nay rudely I have dispised him wherefore he cannot love me for nature abhors neglect and if he cannot love me in honesty he ought not to marry me and if I be not his wife for certain I shall dye for love or live a most unhappy life which is far worse than death Hay ho Enter Madam la Mere her Mother Mere What Daughter sick with love Capris. O Mother love is a Tyrant which never lets the mind be at rest and the thoughts are the torments and when the mind is tormented the body is seldom in health Mere Well to ease you I will go to this Lord Generosity and pray him to give you a visit Capris. By no means Mother for I had rather dye with love than live to be despised with scorn for he will refuse your desires or if he should come it would be but to express his hate or proudly triumph on my unhappy state Madamosel Caprisia goes out Madamosel Mere alone Mere She is most desperately in love but I will endeavour to settle her mind Ex. Scene 42. Enter Doctor Freedom and Madamosel Volante DOctor Am not I a good Doctor now that hath got you a good Husband Volante Nay Doctor he is but a Suiter as yet Doctor Why do not you woe upon the Stage as the rest of your Comorades doth Volante O fye Doctor Discretion never whines our love in publick Doctor So you love to be in private Volante Why Doctor the purest love is most conceal'd it lyes in the heart and it warms it self by its own fire Doctor Take heed for if you keep it too tenderly and close it may chance to catch cold when it comes abroad Volante True love ought to keep home and not to gossip abroad Enter a Servant-maid Servant-maid Madam Monsieur Discretion is come to visit you Volante Come Doctor be a witnesse of our contract Doctor I had rather stay with your maid Volante She hath not wit to entertain you Doctor Nor none to anger me Volante Pray come away for no wise man is angry with wit Doctor I perceive if I do not go with you that you will call me fool Ex. Scene 43. Enter Monsieur Comorade and Monsieur Bon Compaignon BOn Compaignon Comorade what cause makes you so fine to day Comorade I am going to two weddings to day Bon Compaignon Faith one had been enough but how can you divide yourself betwixt two Bridals Comorade I shall not need to divide my self since the Bridals keeps together for they are marryed both in one Church and by one Priest and they feast in one house Bon Compaignon And will they lye in one bed Comorade No surely they will have two beds for fear each Bride-groom should mistake his Bride Bon Compaignon VVell I wish the Bride-grooms and their Brides joy and their Guests good chear Comorade VVill not you be one of the Guests Bon Compaignon No for a Bon Compaignon shuns Hymens Court neither will Hymen entertain him But who are the Brides and Bride-grooms Comorade Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamosel Doltche and Monsieur Perfection and Madamosel Solid Bon Compaignon Is Monsieur Profession a Guest there Comorade No for he swears now that he hates marriage as he hates death Bon Compaignon But he loves a Mistress as he loves life Ex. Scene 44. Enter Monsieur Generosity and Madamosel Caprisia he following her GEnerosity Lady why do you shun my company in going from me praystay and give my visit a civil entertainment for though I am not worthy of your affection yet my love deserves you civility Capris. I know you are come to laugh at me which is ignobly done for heroick generous spirits doth not triumph on the weak effeminate Sex Generosity Pray believe I am a Gentleman for if I loved you not yet I would never be rude to be uncivil to you or your Sex But I love you so well as when I leave to serve you with my life may nature leave to nourish me fortune leave to favour me and Heaven leave to blesse me and then let death cast me into Hell there to be tormented Capris. I am more obliged to your generous affections than to my own merits Generosity The ill opinion of your self doth not lessen your vertues and if you think me worthy to be your Husband and will agree we will go strait to Church and be marryed Capri. I shall not refuse you Ex. FINIS PROLOGUE THE Poetress sayes that if the Play be bad She 's very sorry and could wish she had A better plot more wit and skill to make A Play that might each several humour take But she sayes if your humours are not fixt Or that they are extravagantly mixt Impossible a Play for to present With such variety and temperiment But some will think it tedious or find fault Say the Design or Language is stark naught Besides the loose unsetled brains she fears Seeth with squint eyes and hears with Asses ears But she is confident all in this round Their understandings clear and judgements sound And if her Play deserves not praise she knows They 'l neither scoff in words nor preposterous shows Without disturbance you will let it dye And in the Grave of silence let it lye Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet THE FIRST PART 1. THe Lord de L'amour 2. Sir Thomas Father Love 3. Master Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves Friend 4. Master Charity the Lord de L'amours Friend 5. Adviser the Lord de L'amours man 6. A Iustice of Peace 1. The Queen Attention 2. The Lady Incontinent Mistriss to the Lord de L'amour 3. The Lady Mother Love wife to Sir Thomas Father Love 4. The Lady Sanparelle daughter to Sir Thomas Father and Lady Mother Love 5. The Lady Innocence the affianced Mistriss
or Wife to the Lord de L'amour 6. Passive the Lady Innocences maid 7. Falshood an informer to maids of the Lady Incontinent Physitians Natural Philosophers Moral Philosophers young Students Souldiers Lovers Mourners Virgins Servants and others ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love and his wife the Mother Lady Love MOther Love Husband you have a strange nature that having but one child and never like to have more and this your childe a daughter that you should breed her so strictly as to give her no time for recreation nor no liberty for company nor freedom for conversation but keeps her as a Prisoner and makes her a slave to her book and your tedious moral discourses when other children have Play-fellows and toyes to sport and passe their time withall Father Love Good wife be content doth not she play when she reads books of Poetry and can there be nobler amiabler finer usefuller and wiser companions than the Sciences or pleasanter Play-fellows than the Muses can she have freer conversation than with wit or more various recreations than Scenes Sonets and Poems Tragical Comical and Musical and the like Or have prettier toyes to sport withall than fancie and hath not the liberty so many hours in the day as children have to play in Mother Love Do you call this playing which sets her brain a working to find out the conceits when perchance there is none to find out but are cheats and cozens the Readers with empty words at best it fills her head but with strange phantasmes disturbs her sleep with frightfull dreams of transformed bodyes of Monsters and ugly shaped vices of Hells and Furies and terrifying Gods of Wars and Battles of long travels and dangerous escapes and the pleasantest is but dark groves gloomy fields and the happiest condition but to walk idly about the Elizium fields and thus you breed your daughter as if your Posterity were to be raised from a Poets phantastical brain Father Love I wish my Posterity may last but as long as Homers lines Mother Love Truly it will be a fine airey brood No no I will have her bred as to make a good houswife as to know how to order her Family breed her Children govern her Servants entertain her Neighbours and to fashion herself to all companies times and places and not to be mewed and moped up as she is from all the World insomuch as she never saw twenty persons in one company in all her life unless it be in pictures which you set her to stare on above an hour everyday Besides what Father doth educate their Daughters that office belongs to me but because you have never a Son to tutor therefore you will turn Cotqucan and teach your daughter which is my work Father Love Let me tell you Wife that is the reason all women are fools for women breeding up women one fool breeding up another and as long as that custom lasts there is no hopes of amendment and ancient customs being a second nature makes folly hereditary in that Sex by reason their education is effeminate and their times spent in pins points and laces their study only vain fashions which breeds prodigality pride and envie Mother Love What would you have women bred up to swear swagger gaming drinking Whoring as most men are Father Love No Wife I would have them bred in learned Schools to noble Arts and Sciences as wise men are Mother Love What Arts to ride Horses and fight Dewels Father Love Yes if it be to defend their Honour Countrey and Religion For noble Arts makes not base Vices nor is the cause of lewd actions nor is unseemly for any Sex but baseness vice and lewdnesse invents unhandsome and undecent Arts which dishonours by the practice either Sex Mother Love Come come Husband I will have her bred as usually our Sex is and not after a new fashioned way created out of a self-opiniated that you can alter nature by education No no let me tell you a woman will be a woman do what you can and you may assoon create a new World as change a womans nature and disposition Enter the Lady Sanspareille as to her Father as not thinking her Mother was there Sanspareille O Father I have been in search of you to ask you a question concerning the Sun When she sees her Mother she starts back Mother What have you to do with the Sun and lives in the shade of the Worlds obscuritie Sansp. VVhy Madam where would you have me live can I live in a more serene aire than in my Fathers house or in a purer or clearer light than in my Parents eyes or more splendrous than in my Parents company Mother I would have you live at Court there to have honour favour and grace and not to lose your time ignorantly knowing nothing of the VVorld nor the VVorld of you Sansp. Can I live with more honour than with my Father and You or have more favour than your loves or is there a greater grace than to be Daughter of vertuous Parents can I use or imploy my time better than to obey my Parents commands need I know more than honesty modesty civility and duty As for the VVorld mankind is so partial to each self as they have no faith on the worth of their Neighbour neither doth they take notice of a Stranger but to be taken notice of Mother Love Yes yes your beauty will attract eyes and ears which are the doors to let in good opinion and admiration Sansp. Had I a tongue like a Cerces-wand to charm all ears that heard me it would straight transform men from civil Obligers to spitefull Detractors or false Slanderers my beauty may only serve but as a bribe to tempt men to intrap my youth and to betray my innocency Mother To betray a fools-head of your own Lord Lord how the dispositions of Youth is changed since I was young for before I came to your Age I thought my Parents unnaturall because they did not provide me a Husband Sanspareille If all youth were of my humour their dispositions are changed indeed for Heaven knows it is the only curse I fear a Husband Mother Love Why then you think me curst in Marrying your Father Sansp. No Madam you are blest not only in being a Wife a condition you desired but being marryed to such a man that wishes could not hope for Mother Love Why then my good Fortune may encourage you and raise a hope to get the like Sansp. O no! It rather drives me to dispair beleiving there is no second Mother Love Come come you are an unnatural Child to flatter your Father so much and not me when I endured great pains to breed bear and nurse you up Sansp. I do not flatter Madam for I speak nothing but my thoughts and that which Love and duty doth allow and truth approve of Father Love Come come Wife the Jeerals wit will out-argue both ours Ex. Scene 2. Enter the
lay Ex. ACT II. Scene 5. Enter the Lady Sanspareile all in white Satin like as a Bride and her Father and her audience which are all Lovers these stand gazing upon her SAnspareile This Noble assembly may chance to think it a vanity in me never to receive any particular visit or adresse from any particular or single person but I do so by reason life is lost in particular acquaintance as small Rivers are in running through the earth But in the publick life swims as in a full Sea having a fair gale of observation and Sailes of opportune time to swim withall marking the Card of actions and the Needle of dispositions drawn or turned by the Loadstone of affection to the North-pole of Experience to guide me safe from the Rocks of slander and quick-sands of scandal till I come to the Port of death there to unload my Lifes Merchandise and I hope my Voyage may be so prosperous as I may be inriched with the praises of After-Ages Likewise the reason why I choose to speak in publick is that I would not speak idely for in publick I shall take care of what I speak and to whom I speak when in private visitations to single persons my speech may be carelesse with negligence in which I may throw away my time with my words For to speak to no purpose is to make words useless and words is the marks to distinguish things and Figures to number merits with and Notes to record the noble Acts of men But at this time I am to speak by my Fathers command upon a Subject which my contemplation hath no acquaintance with which is marriage and I hear by my Father that you have all treated with him or rather intreated him to bestow me in marriage which is to make me unhappy not but that I believe what I hear which is that you are all persons of Quality Birth Breeding and Merit far beyond my desert yet with the best if any best there be being all worthy yet were I a wife to any one I might be unhappy by reason marriage is an incumbered life although the Husband and the Wife were fitly matcht for years Births Fortunes Dispositions Humours Capacities Wits Conversations Constancies Vertues and affections and first by your leave I will discourse of mens marriage by reason Man being accounted the Supremer Creature and alwayes bearing Rule he shall be first placed As for marriage to men it is a great hinderance to a speculative life it cuts off Phancies Wings and quenches out the Poetical Fire it breaks the Engine of invention disturbs sweet contemplation corrupts honest Counsels obstructs all Heroick actions obscures fame and often times causes infamy by the wifes inconstancies and many times by her indiscretion for a man is dishonoured if his wife is but thought wanton or but inclining to be amorous and though she be as sober in her Nature and as constant as any woman can be yet the very suspition is a disgrace and if the suspition is a disgrace what is a visible truth His very Neighbours makes Horns as he passeth by their doors whilst he sadly and shamefully hangs down his head with a dejected countenance which makes him seem a Coward and a Fool although it be unjust that the faults of the wife should be a blemish to the Husbands honour yet so it is this being the greatest cause why Husbands are jealouse which jealousie is more for their Honours sake than for their Wives affections thus you see how dangerous a thing it is for man to marry who must trust his honour to the management of a Foolish Woman and women naturally like children inconstant unlesse education doth rectifie their frail natures peevish humours various appetites and inconstant affection Likewise marriage is not only apt to corrupt the mind with jealousie but with Covetousnesse for the extreme fondnesse and natural love of Parents to their Children maks them strive by all their endeavours to inrich them this makes them gripe their Tennants pinch and half starve their servants quarrel and dispute with their neighbours corrupt Judges take Bribes besides it makes men apt to rebell and turn Traitorus murmuring at their Taxes and impositions it also makes them timorous and fearful in warrs by reason their wife and children may be ruined by their death Also it makes them dull in their Conversations by reason they are alwayes plodding for their worldly affairs and for the Muses had a husband time to entertain them yet the wife would right them or drive them from him with their quarreling disputes or sencelesse prizes besides most women are as jealouse of the Muses as of their Maids but to treat or discourse of married women is to discourse of a most unhappy life for all the time of their lives is insnared with troubles what in breeding and bearing children what in taking and turning away Servants directing and ordering their Family counting their expences and disbursing their revenues besides the vexations with their servants for their quarreling and combining for their sloth and sluttery for their spoiles and carlessnesse for their treachery and couzenage and if they have Children what troubles and griefs do unsue Troubled with their frowardnesse and untowardnesse the care for their well being the fear for their ill doing their grief for their sicknesse and their unsufferable sorrow for their death Yet this is the best part and not to be avoided But if these troubles be joyned with an ill Husband it heightens their torments for if he be a Drunkard she had better be marryed to a Beast her nostrils is stencht with the Lees of wine her eyes are offended with his rude behaviour and her ears are struck with a cursed noise of cursing and Oaths and if he be a Gamester she lives in an unsetled condition she knows not how soon she may want for if she have plenty one day she may be in a condition to beg the next And if her Husband be inconstant and loves variety of women O how jealousie torments her besides the wrongs she suffers from him what affronts she receives from his Mistresse How is she dispised amongst her neighbours sleighted by her servant suspected by the world for having some defect as either to be incontinent sluttish foolish froward crosse unkind ill natured sickly or diseased when perchance the woman may be worthy to be marcht with a temperate wise valiant honest rich and honourable man and if women go fine and take pleasure in themselves and Garments their Husbands are jealouse and if they regard not themselves or Garments their Husbands dislikes them For though men will swear to their wives they like them better in their old cloaths than other women in their glorious Apparrel because they would not have them expensive yet if their wives neglect themselves regarding not their dressing but sleights all outward Adornments and change of Garments as prodigal spend-thrifts they starve their Husbands esteem in their thrifty plainness Consumes
us go then Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Monsieur Malateste to his Wife Madam Bonit MAlateste Lord how ill-favour'd you are drest to day Bonit VVhy I am cleanly Malateste You had need be so for if you were ill-favour'dly drest and sluttish too it were not to be endur'd Bonit VVell Husband I will strive to be more fashionably drest Exeunt Scene 5. Enter Monsieur Pere and Monsieur Frere as newly come from Travelling MOnsieur Pere Well Son but that you are as a stranger having not seen you in a long time I would otherwise have chid you for spending so much since you went to travel Frere Sir travelling is chargeable especially when a man goeth to inform himself of the Fashions Maners Customs and Countries he travelleth through Enter Madam la Soeur and Monsieur Marry her Husband where they salute and welcome their Brother home Pere Look you Son I have increas'd my Family since you went from home your Sisters Beauty hath got me another Son Soeur And I make no question but my Brothers noble and gallant Actions will get you another Daughter Pere Well Son I must have you make haste and marry that you may give me some Grand-children to uphold my Posterity for I have but you two and your sister I hope will bring me a Grand-son soon for her Maids say she is sick a mornings which is a good sign she is breeding although she will not confess it for young marry'd Wives are asham'd to confess when they are with Child they keep it as private as if their Child were unlawfully begotten Monsieur Frere all the while looks upon his Sister very stedfastly Marry Me thinks my Brother doth something resemble my Wife Frere No sure Brother so rude a made face as mine can never resemble so well a shap'd face as my sisters Marry I believe the Venetian Ladies had a better opinion of your face and person than you deliver of your self Soeur My Brother cannot choose but be weary comming so long a Journey to day wherefore it were fit we should leave him to pull off his boots Pere Son now I think of 't I doubt you are grown so tender since you went into Italy as you can hardly endure your boots to be roughly pull'd off Frere I am very sound Sir and in very good health Pere Art thou so Come thy ways then Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Monsieur Malateste and Madam Bonit his Wife MAlateste Wife I have some occasion to sell some Land and I have none that is so convenient to sell as your Joynture Bonit All my Friends will condemn me for a fool if I should part with my Joynture Malateste Why then you will not part with it Bonit I do not say so for I think you so honest a man that if you should die before me as Heaven forbid you should Malateste Nay leave your prayers Bonit Well Husband you shall have my Joynture Malateste If I shall go fetch it She goes out and comes back and brings the writings and gives it him and then he makes haste to be gone Bonit Surely Husband I deserve a kiss for 't Malateste I cannot stay to kiss Enter Madam Bonits Maid Joan. Ioan. Madam what will you have for your supper for I hear my Master doth not sup at home Bonit Any thing Ione a little Ponado or Water-gruel Ioan. Your Ladyships Diet is not costly It satisfies Nature as well as costly Olio's or Bisks and I desire onely to feed my Hunger not my Gusto for I am neither gluttonous nor lickerish Ioan. No I 'll be sworn are you not Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the Sociable Virgins and two Grave Matrons MAtron Come Ladies what discourse shall we have to day 1 Virgin Let us sit and rail against men 2 Matron I know young Ladies love men too well to rail against them besides men always praise the Effeminate Sex and will you rail at those that praise you 2 Virgin Though men praise us before our faces they rail at us behind our backs 2 Matron That 's when you are unkind or cruel 3 Virgin No 't is when we have been too kind and they have taken a surfet of our company 1 Matron Indeed an over-plus of Kindness will soon surfet a mans Affection 4 Virgin Wherefore I hate them and resolve to live a single life and so much I hate men that if the power of Alexander and Caesar were joyn'd into one Army and the courage of Achilles and Hector were joyn'd into one Heart and the wisedom of Solomon and Ulysses into one Brain and the Eloquence of Tully and Demosthenes into one Tongue and this all in one man and had this man the Beauty of Narcissus and the youth of Adonis and would marry me I would not marry him 2 Matron Lady let me tell you the Youth and Beauty would tempt you much 4 Virgin You are deceiv'd for if I would marry I would sooner marry one that were in years for it were better to chuse grave Age than fantastical Youth but howsoever I will never marry for those that are unmaried appear like birds full of life and spirit but those that are maried appear like beasts dull and heavy especially maried men 1 Matron Men never appear like beasts but when women make them so 1 Virgin They deserve to be made beasts when they strive to make women fools 2 Virgin Nay they rather think us fools than make us so for most Husbands think when their Wives are good and obedient that they are simple 1 Virgin When I am maried I 'll never give my Husband cause to think me simple for my obedience for I will be crose enough 3 Virg. That 's the best way for Husbands think a cross and contradicting Wife is witty a hold and commanding Wife of a heroick spirit a subtil and crafty Wife to be wise a prodigal Wife to be generous a false Wife to be beautiful And for those good qualities he loves her best otherwise he hates her nay the falser she is the fonder he is of her 4 Virgin Nay by your favour for the most part Wives are so inslav'd as they dare not look upon any man but their Husbands 1 Matron What better object can a woman have than her Husband 1 Virgin By your leave Matron one object is tiresome to view often when variety of objects are very pleasing and delightful for variety of objects clear the senses and refresh the mind when only one object dulls both sense and mind that makes maried wives so sad and melancholy when they keep no other company but their Husbands and in truth they have reason for a Husband is a surfet to the Eyes which causes a loathing dislike unto the mind and the truth is that variety is the life and delight of Natures works and Women being the only Daughters of Nature and not the Sons of Iove as men are feigned to be are more pleased with variety than men are 1 Matron Which is no honour to the Effeminate Sex
you did not bring me wherewithall to make them until such time as the guts began to putrifie Thrifty No no you are a Slut and did not take all the dung out of them nor wash nor scrape nor cleanse them as they should have been but you order the guts as you do the dishes the one is dungy the other greasie besides my Master complains that his Fowl taste rank and his Brawn tasts strong and his Beef tasts musty and that 's because you are so lazy as not to shift your Brawn into fresh Sousing-drink nor make the brine strong enough in the powdring-tub nor thrust your fingers far enough into the Fowls rumps to draw them clean besides when they are roasted they are as dry as a chip for want of basting-butter besides your sluttery is such as you will poyson all the House for in one place I find a piece of butter and a greasie comb full of nitty hairs lying by it and in another place flour and old-worn stockings the feet being rotted off with sweat and in a third place a dish of cold meat cover'd with a foul smock and your durty shooes for the most part stand upon the Dresser-board where you lay the hot meat besides by your carelesness you do waste and spoil so much as it is unsufferable for you will fling whole ladlefuls of dripping into the fire to make the fire blaze underneath the pot and because you have not the profit of the Kitchin-stuff you will never scrape the Dresser-board nor Dripping-pans nor lick the Platters Trays or Scummers Frying-pans Skillets Gridirons Spits Ladles Kettles or any of the Kitchin-vessels as you should doe but wash them all with hot water at first without taking off the grease before-hand Briget Well if you do not like me pray pay me my wages and I will be gone I 'm sure I never serv'd in any place for so small wages and few vails as in this service I 'm sure 't is no ways beneficial to me Thrifty I 'm sure you 'l make it beneficial one way or another for you have your female Factors that lie abroad to whom you send Commodities by your She-porters that come hither every day to transport them Thus you traffique upon my Masters Cost and my Reputation for I am thought the worse of either as believing I am a false Steward or a negligent one Thus a True man is thought a Knave for by your stealing I am thought a Thief Briget You are a base man for saying I steal I never was accounted a Thief in my life but always trusty and true in what Service soever I lived The Steward goes out and Briget Greasie left as crying Then enters her Master Sir John Dotard and looks earnestly upon her and then speaks as to himself Dotard She 's a pretty Wench if she had but clean cloaths on by Venus she would be very handsome a Silk Gown would make her a rare Beauty her Tears fall on her Nose and Cheeks like gentle showers of rain on Roses and Lillies sweet O she is a heavenly Creature He speaks to her Sweet-heart where do you live Briget In your Worships House Dottard And whose servant are you Briget Your Worships Dotard How long have you served me Briget A Quarter and 't please your Worship Dotard In what place serve you Briget In the Kitchin an 't please you Dotard What makes you cry Briget Your Worships Steward hath wrong'd me Dotard How hath he wrong'd thee Briget He says I stole your Worships Kithin-stuff when the Gods know I am as innocent as the child that is newly born Dotard He is a Knave for saying so and I will have him turn'd out of his Authority for saying so wherefore cry no more fair Maid for thou shalt be preferr'd to a higher Office Briget I thank your Worship Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Mistris Forsaken and a Gentleman FOrsaken Sir did you come lately from Changeland Gentlem. Yes Lady Forsaken Pray did you not see a Gentlemon in that Country ha 〈…〉 Francis Inconstant Gentlem. I am very well acquainted with him Lady for he is my most noble Friend Forsaken I hope he is well Gentlem. So well Madam as he is resolv'd to marry Forsaken That he might do if it were for no other reason but for a Nurse to tend him if he should chance to be sick Gentlem. By your favour Lady it were dangerous for a sick man to be maried especially to a fair young Lady Forsaken But pray Sir is he to marry a Lady in that Country Gentlem. So he told me Forsaken Did he tell you so himself Gentlem. Yes Madam I had it first from his own mouth Forsaken Is she handsome Gentlem. Truly I did not see her Forsaken Is she rich Sir Gentlem. Truly I heard not what portion she had but I suppose if she had been rich her wealth would have made her famous Forsaken Nor you have not heard whether she is discreet or witty nor of what humour she is Gentlem. No indeed Lady I heard not any body speak of her but himself and that was only That he was to marry a young Lady in that City he was in and that he thought would be the cause to perswade him to settle in that Country Forsaken How long a time is required to go to that place where he is Gentlem. According as the wind is If the wind be good twelve hours sail will land a passenger and some eight hours riding from the shore will bring them to the City Forsaken Will you please to walk in and rest your self Exeunt Scene 4. Enter two servant-maids of Sir John Dotards 1 MAid Lord there is such a quarrel about the falling out of Briget Greasie and Master Steward as it is wonderful for my Master chides Briget cries and Master Steward maintains his words as they do so offend and misprove as you would bless your self 2 Maid I will go listen and hear them Exeunt Scene 5. Enter the Lord VVidower and Doctors LOrd My VVife Master Doctor is very ill Doctor She is so for her Disease is not to be cured my Lord for we cannot restore the decays of vital parts for as they consume life draws towards an end Lord But pray do your endeavour to prolong her like as long as you can Doctor We shall my Lord to the utmost of our skill Your Lordships humble servant Exit Doctor Enter Dol Subtilty the Ladies Chamber-maid Dol Subtilty My Lady desires to speak with your Lordship Lord And I desire to speak with your Ladiship Subtilty I am ready to hear your Lordships commands Lord And are you as ready to obey them Subtilty Yes so far as my duty doth oblige me Lord Well then pray do not forget when you are call'd to pay that duty where you owe it Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Mistris Forsaken alone MIstris Forsaken If this News could deprive me of my life it would have made me happy but it hath almost depriv'd me of my Reason
more how gallant valiant men came to follow that fashion for a Sword is a valiant mans trusty friend to whose protection he delivers his Honour his Safety and his Peace for a Sword is a Mans Guardian to maintain his Right to revenge his Wrongs or Disgraces and his Mistriss for whose service he wears his Life and studies the worth and use thereof and takes delight in the Honourable and allowable practices therein 1 Gent. Faith my Lord I believe it was some Lover that brought up that fashion who was loath to affright his Mistriss with so dangerous a weapon 2 Gent. Some Carpet Knight upon my life my Lord Nobilissimo It was no true Lover for certainly he would be sure to provide a safeguard lest his Mistriss might be taken from him or lest he should be affronted in her sight which a Man of Honour and a true Lover will rather dy than part or suffer and as for my part I commend the Man that would neither eat drink nor sleep without his Sword were by him and made it his Bedfellow and Bord Companion as a friend that held to his side and would sight in his quarrell 2 Gent. My Lord if a man should do so in these times his Neighbours would say it was out of fear not courage Nobilissimo O no for a Coward is affraid to use a Sword and a Valiant man is affraid to be without the use otherwise a strong sturdy Clown might cuff him down and kick him like a Football on the ground which a Sword and skill to use it will prevent for a Clown hath not skill to defend or assault a Sword having no practice therewith nor ought they to have for the use of this kind of Arms makes a Clown a Gentleman and the want of skill makes a Gentleman a Clown for a Right bred Gentleman is to know the use of the Sword and it is more manly to assault than to defend also to know how to mannage Horses whereby we know how to assault our Enemy as well as to defend our selves for it is not playing with a Fidle and dancing a Measure makes a Gentleman for then Princes should dub Knighthood with a Fidle and give the stick and a pair of Pumps insteed of a Sword and a pair of Spurs 1 Gent. My Lord we are so far from wearing our Swords our selves now a dayes as we give them our Footmen to carry as if it were a disgrace to carry a Sword our selves Nobilissimo T is true and we are well beaten for our follies for disarming our selves and arming our Slaves for now a Groom is made a Gentlemans equal nay his Superior sometimes for if a Groom kills a Gentleman the Gentleman dyes in disgrace and the Groom lives with Honour and gets the Fame of a gallant Person for that is the phrase to all those that have fought although they were forced thereto as Slaves not distinguishing true valor which is voluntary temperate and just 2 Gent. Why then there should be a Decree of Law that none should wear Swords but Gentlemen nor Arms allowed but to those of approved merit Nobilissimo You say right unless in time of Forein Wars and then there should be a difference in their Arms for if there be no difference of Arms no difference of persons and if there be no difference of persons there will be no Supremacy of Power if no Supremacy no Royal Government for as the Sword maintains the Prerogative of the Crown so it doth the Honour of a Gentleman and as the Sword keeps up the dignity of the Crown so a Sword keeps up the Heraldry of a Gentleman and no man ought to be accounted a Gentleman that knows not how to use his Sword and manage his Horse for the one defends himself and kills his Enemies the other doth front and charge his Enemy and pursues him if need require Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Monsieur Esperance and Madamoiselle Esperance his Wife MOnsieur Esperance Lord Wife you are very brave to day Madamoiselle Esperance I strive to be so every day Monsieur Esperance For whose sake Madamoiselle Esperance For yours Monsieur Esperance For mine why sure that is not so for certainly you would not take that pains and bestow so much cost for one you do enjoy allready for a Husband that is tied to you for life and cannot quit on Honourable terms wherefore it is for one is loose and free which you do strive by setting forth your self with garments rich for to attract and draw to your desires Madamoiselle Esperance The Circumference of my desires is only your delight Monsieur Esperance Why my delight is in your Virtue youth and Beauty not in your Cloathes Madamoiselle Esperance But Virtue is best acceptable when Beauty doth present it and Beauty finds most favour when well attired but were I sure you would like me better in mean Garments and careless dresses I then should Cloath my self in Freez like a Hermit my loose course Garments ty with single cord about my waste but I will go and pull these Cloaths off since they are thought a crime and I thought false for wearing them Monsieur Esperance No I like them very well if I were sure they were worn only for love to me Madamoiselle Esperance I never gave you cause to think I wear them for the love of any other Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Malicious and Madamoiselle Tell-truth SPightfull Madamoiselle La Belle is cryed up to be the only Beauty in the Kingdome Malicious Lord that is nothing for sometimes opinion will carry a black Blowse up to Fames high Tower Spightfull Yes faith and most commonly they are cast down in disgrace Detractor Why should she be cryed up so for she is neither well featured nor well shaped nor well fashioned nor well drest nor well bred nor good natured for she is of a brown Complexion a heavy Eye a sad Countenance a lazy Garb she dresses Phantastically speaks Childishly looks shamefastly she is proud reserved coy disdainfull and self-conceited Tell-truth Let me tell you it is reported that she hath most lovely features a clear Complexion a modest Countenance a bashfull Eye a pleasing Speech a winning behaviour a Majesticall presence besides it is reported that her disposition is civil courteous and obliging her Nature sweet and gentle her Education virtuous her life temperate and Chast her actions noble and wise her discourse witty and delighful Spightfull Hey day hey day good Mistriss Tell-truth run not so fast in the wayes of vain Reports lest your judgment fail into a Quagmire Enter Monsieur Phantasie Malicious Monsieur Phantasie t is said you are one of Madamoiselle La Belles admirers Phantasie All the World would admire her if they saw her she is so Heavenly a Creature Spightfull If she be so Heavenly a Creature she would be known to the whole World by the splendor of her Beams Phantasie
Heaven is not made known to all neither can the gloryes be suddenly comprehended by weak Mortals Detractor Good Lord if she hath such an infinite Beauty that it cannot be comprehended it is obscure Phantasie But those that comprehend least will be astonish'd and struck with deep amaze Detractor I believe you are struck with Love which makes you Blind or Mad that makes you think you see your own imaginations wherefore fare you well untill you are sober The Ladies goe out Monsieur Phantasie alone Phantasie I am struck indeed for I am wonded deeper than Swords can pierce or Bullets shoot at Exit Scene 11. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and many Gentlemen with him 1 GEntleman Your Lordship rid to day beyond Perseus on his Pegasus Nobilissimo No Monsieur he went if Poets speak truth in higher Capreols than ever I shall make my Horse go 2 Gentleman He might go higher my Lord but never keep so just a time and place as to pitch from whence he riss his feet in the same Circle his leggs in the same lines and your Lordship in the same Center Nobilissimo The truth is my Horses went well to day they were like Musical Instruments fitly strung and justly tun'd 3 Gentleman And your Lordship like a skillfull Musician played rarely thereon Nobilissimo Come Gentlemen let us to Dinner for I have uncivilly tyred your Stomacks with a long fast Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Phantasie as in a muse sometimes Sighing sometimes strikes his Brest and sometimes turns up his Eyes and at these postures Enters Madamoiselle Bon at her approach he starts MAdamoiselle Bon. Sir you may very well start to see me here I do not use modesty pardon me to be so bold to visit Men it is the first visit I ever made your Sex and hope it will be the last but I am come since neither Letter nor Messenger could have access to be resolved by your own Confession whether you have forsaken me or not Phantasie No I have not forsaken you Bon. But your affection prefers another before me Phantasie If I should say I did not I should belly Truth which baseness I abhor Bon. I am glad for your own sake you keep so much Honour though sorry that you are no constanter and more sorry for the Oaths you took and Vows you made to me since they became the witnesses of your perjury I was not suddenly nor easily brought to draw a Supreme Love to one for before such time my Love was placed on you my affections run equally in purling Brooks of Pitty and Compassion and clear fresh Rivulets of Charity and Humanity from the pure Springs of good Nature and Religion and hard it will be for me to turn this River to each stream again if not yet I shall be a rest 't will overflow my heart and drown me The Lady goes out Monsieur Phantasie alone Monsieur Phantasie Oh I must curse my Fortune and my Fate lament my own condition to love without return and only pitty what I loved most Exit Scene 13. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit and her Audience GRand Esprit Great Mercury to thee I now address Imploy thy favour help me in distress Thou God of Eloquence so guide my tongue Let all my words on even sense be slrung And let my Speech be tun'd to every Ear That every Ear each several word may hear That every passion may in measure move And let the figure of the Dance be Love Noble and Right Honourable I will discourse at this time of Love not of the superfluous Branches or wither'd leaves or rotten fruits but of the Root of Love which is Self-love It is the Root and Original Love in Nature it is the Foundation of Nature it is the Fountain from whence issues all the several Springs Self-love was the cause of the Worlds Creation for the Gods out of love to themselves caused Creatures to be Created to worship them thus all Creatures being created out of self-love and their chief being proceeding out of self-love is the cause that every particular Creature loves themselves in the first place and what Love is placed on any other or to any other from any particular is derived from self-love for we love the Gods but out of self-love as believing the Gods love us we adore the Gods but out of self-love because we think we proceed from them or were produced by their commands we pray to the Gods but out of self-love because we hope the Gods will help us in distress we bless the Gods but out of self-love because we do verrily believe the Gods will exalt and Crown us with everlasting glory and to shew that we Love the Gods not as they are Gods but for our own sakes as believing they will or can do us good is that we are apt to murmure at the Gods when we have not our own desires we are apt to accuse the Gods when any wordly thing crosses us we are apt to curse the Gods at ill Accidents Misfortunes or Natural losses we are apt to forget the Gods in the midst of pleasure we are apt to think our selves Gods in the pride of prosperity we strive to make our selves Gods in the hight of worldly power and we do not only strive to make our selves equal with the Gods but to raise our selves above the Gods taking or commanding to our selves more worship than we give unto the Gods nay those that are accounted the most holy and devout Servants of the Gods belie the Gods taking the name of the Gods to cover their own follies as for example whensoever any eminent person hath had ill success either in or after their Foolish Ambitious and Vain-glorious actions they charge the Gods Decrees and pleasure as it was the Gods will it should be so like as she that Vaingloriously had her two and only Sons to draw her Chariot like two Horses or Dogs or Slaves and being both found Dead the next day she had prayed to the Gods to reward them with that which was best for them and being both dead she said the Gods accounted Death as the best reward when they no doubt dyed with over heating themselves striving beyond their natural power and strength yet these two Sonns that drew the vain Mother in a Chariot drew and died out of self-love either like as vain Sonns like their vain Mother vaingloriously to get a fame or believing the Gods would reward them for their Act either with extraordinary prosperity power or blessedness in the Life to come and many the like examples may be given for how ordinary is it in these our times and in former times for the politicks to perswade the people with promises from the Gods or to tell them it is the Gods commands they should do such and such acts even such acts as are unnatural wicked and most horrid thus Men bely the Gods to abuse their fellow Creatures But most Noble and Right Honourable my explanation of
me weep doubting you Love me not you are so Jealous Monsieur Esperance By Heaven I love thee beyond my Soul wherefore forbear to weep if thou canst stop thy tears Madamoiselle Esperance Tears may be stopt unless they flow from an unrecoverable loss which Heaven forbid mine should yet sorrow oft doth stop the Spring from whence tears rise or else the Eyes do weep themselves quite blind Monsieur Esperance Pray dry yours Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madamoiselle Bon alone MAdamoiselle Bon. O Man O Man How various and Inconstant are you all how cruell to betray our faint and unexperienced Sex bribing our Judgments with flattering words obscure our reasons with Clouds of Sighs drawing us into belief with protestations bind us with promises and vows forcing us to yield up our affections then murther us with scorn and bury us in forgetfullness but O how happy was I before I was betrayed by Love my heart was free my thoughts were pleasant and my humour gay but now my mind is a Garrison of cares my thoughts like runaways are wanderers Grief on my heart his heavy taxes layes Which through my Eyes my heart those taxes payes Exit Scene 17. Enter Madamoiselle Amor and at a distance seeth Monsieur Nobilissimo she speaks first as to her self MAdamoiselle Amor Love and Discretion sight duels in my mind one makes me Mute the other doth perswade me to prefer my Sute but why should I be nice to speak or be ashamed to woo with words when all our Sex doth woo with several dresses and smiles each civil courtesy doth plead Loves Sute then I will on Love give me Courage and Mercury guide my tongue She goeth as towards the Lord Nobilissimo Amor Noble Sir impute it rather as a folly to my Sex and Youth and not any impudence of Nature if that my Innocency discovers my passion and affection not having Craft or subtilty to conceal them but I must plainly tell you no sooner did I see you and hear you speak but loved but yet mistake me not I dote not on your person but your mind for sure your Noble Soul shot fire through my Eyes into my Heart there flames with pure affection but for this confession perchance you will set me as a mark of scorn for all to shoot their scofs at and in derision pointing will laugh and say there is the Maid that wooed a Man Nobilissimo Is this to me Lady Amor It cannot be to any other Nature could make but one and that was you Nobilissimo If this be real you do profess the Gods should they have sent an Angel down to offer me their Heavenly Mansion it had not been so great a gift as your affection Amor Do you not hate me then Nobilissimo Nothing I Love so well Amor And will you Love me ever Nobilissimo Yes ever for when my Body is dissolved Love shall live in my dust in spight of Death Amor And will you love none but me Nobilissimo An intire and undivided affection can be placed but upon one and that is you Amor May your constancy be as firm as my Love pure Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Madamoiselle La Belle and her four Suters Admiration Ambition Vainglory and Pride ADmirat Dear Mistriss stay that I may gaze upon you Then bow my knee as to the rising Sun Heave up my hands as when to Heaven I pray But being amaz'd know not one word I say Yet superstitiously I shall adore As my chief Goddess shall thy love implore And being worship'd you are deifi'd Your Godhead in your Beauty doth recide Vainglory Thou absolute Beauty for thy dear sake Of Lovers hearts a foot-stool shall be made A Cushion soft with Hopes fill'd full then laid For thee to stand and triumph on fair Maid And Lovers Souls shall from their bodyes fly For thee a Couch when weary on to ly Pride Thy Lovers tears for to invite thy rest In murmuring streams fall on thy marble brest And gentle sighs like whispering winds shall blow And fan thy Cheeks that Poets fire may glow Loves Melancholy thoughts like Clouds of night Like as thy Curtains drawn before thy sight For fear the Sun should trouble out of spight Thy Eyes repose being the greater light Ambition Sweet Beauty thou in a glorious Throne shall set The spangled Heaven seems but thy Counterfeit Thy Charriot shall be stuck with Eyes all gazing And oyld with Eloquent tongues that runs with praysing Drawn by large strong well shapt Commendations Guided by Fame about two several Nations La Belle Admiration Vainglory Pride and Ambition Why do you woo Beauty that is Deaf and Dumb That hears no praise nor adoration It seeth no hands heav'd up nor tears that fall It hath no tongue to answer Love withall It hath no Life no Soul where passion lies It neither gives nor takes instructions wise It is no solid Body you admire No substance but a shadow you desire FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Monsieur Nobilissimo Monsieur Heroick his Brother Monsieur Esperance Monsieur Phantasie Monsieur Amy. Monsieur Poverty and other Gentlemen Madamoiselle Esperance Madamoiselle La Belle Madamoiselle Amour Madamoiselle Grand Esprit Madamoiselle Bon Madamoiselle Tell-truth Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious Madamoiselle Detractor THE SECOND PART OF NATURES three DAUGHTERS Beauty Love and Wit ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit and her Audience GRand Esprit Great Fame my Prayers I direct to thee That thou wilt keep me in thy memory And place my Name in the large brazen Tower That neither Spight nor Time may it devour And write it plain that every age may see My Names inscrib'd to live eternally Let not Malice obstruct my Wit with spight But let it shine in its own clear light Noble and Right Honourable I divide my discourse into three parts as namely Vanity Vice and Wickedness Vanity lives in the Customs and Manners of men and Wickedness in the Souls of men Vices in the Senses of men as vain habits evill appetites and wicked passions as for Vanity and Vice they are commodities that are sold out of the Shops of Idleness Vice is sold by wholesale but Vanities are sold by retail the Buyers of these Commodities are Youth the Merchants are evil Customs and ill examples the Masculine youth buyes more Vice than Vanity and the Effeminate youth buyes more Vanity than Vice but they all buy as salt as they can be sold they will spare for not cost and will give any prices although it be their Healths Lives Fortunes or Reputations as for Wickedness it is inlayed into the soul like as Mosaick work and so close it is wrought therein as it makes it appear to be the soul it self but evill Education and Custome are the Artificers of this work and not natural Creation or divine infusion or inspiration from whence the Soul proceeds or is produced for neither the Gods nor Nature is the Author of Wickedness but Vanity Vice and
with what they send forth for Eyes are not only passages to let Light Coulours Forms and Figures in but to let Passions Affections Opinions out besides the Eyes are not only as Navigable Seas for the Animal Spirits to Traffick on and Ports to Anchor in but they are the Gardens of the Soul wherein the Soul sits and refreshes it self and Love the Sun of the Soul sends forth more glorious Rayes than that Sun in the Sky and on those objects they do shine they both comfort and give a nourishing delight but yet when the light of love doth reflect the heat doth increase by double lines and quickness of motion which causes many times a Distemper of the Thoughts which turns to a Feavor in the Mind but to conclude most Noble and Right Honourable Eyes are the Starrs which appear only in the Animal Globe to direct the life in its Voyage not only to places that life knows but to new discoveryes and these Animal Starrs do not only guide the Animal life but have an influence and various effects on the Soul and are not only to view the Beauties of all the other works of Nature but are the chiefest Beauties themselves and if that Reason that is the Educator of the Life and chief Ruler and Commander of the Soul did not cross and hinder the influence of these Animal Starrs they would prove very fatal to many a one Wherefore Right Honourable my Application is that you obey Reason and pray unto it as to a Deity that it may divert the Malignant influences and cause them to point to a Happy Effect For which my good wishes shall attend you That the Gods of these Starrs may defend you Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 14. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Monsieur Heroick NObilissimo Brother I may bid you welcome home for I have not seen you these two years methinks between Brothers as you and I are should never be absence Heroick No faith Brother for we never have good fortune when we are asunder for since I patted I hear you are to be Marryed and I must tell you I am like to be Hanged Nobilissimo Heaven forbid you should be hanged Heroick And do not you make the same Prayer against your Marriage Nobilissimo No for that prayer would prove a Curse if Heaven should grant it but I hope Brother you speak of this but merrily and not as a truth to believed that you are like to be hanged Heroick Yes faith I met with a man that was resolv'd to fight with the next he met I think for he forced a quarrel and we fought and I fear I have killed him Nobilissimo What was the cause of the quarrel Heroick Why about a Beauty that none must admire but himself and yet they must maintain she is the absolutest Beauty of her Sex and such a Beauty I hear of every where but I cannot see her any where Nobilissimo Let me tell you Brother she is worth the seeing Heroick And is she worth the blood and life that is lost and spilt for her Nobilissimo Yes if it had been to maintain her Beauty against rude Despisers or her Virtue against base Detractors or her Honour against wicked Violators for her Soul hath as many beautifull graces and Virtues and her mind as many noble qualities as her body hath beautifull Parts Lineaments gracefull Motions pleasing Countenances lovely Behaviour and courteous Demeanors Heroick Certainly Brother you are very well acquainted with her that you know her so well as to speak so confident of her Nobilissimo Yes Brother I do know her very well for she is Sister to my Mistriss Heroick So I thought she had some relation to you that you spake so much in her praise this Self-love bribes all our Tongues but Brother you have so fired my Spirits as I am almost as mad as the Gentleman I fought with before I see her meerly with the report and since I must lose my Wits with the rest of Mankind for I find all are mad that come within the list of her Name pray let me part with my Wits on Honourable terms as at the view of her Beauty Nobilissimo I shall make it a request to her that you may see her and she being a person who is very obliging I make no question but she will receive your civil and humble respects Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MAdamoiselle Esperance Husband do you love me Monsieur Esperance Yes Madamoiselle Esperance Better than any other Woman Monsieur Esperance I can make no comparison Madamoiselle Esperance Why do you then neglect me so much as to take no notice whether I be fine and brave or ragged or patcht or ilfavoured or handsom and yet you take notice of every other woman from the stranger abroad to the Kitchin-Maid at home Monsieur Esperance By my troth Wife I do so just as I would do of a Tree or a Bush or a Stone or a Brake or a Fox or an Ass and no otherwise Madamoiselle Esperance Yet it is a sign you have them in your mind and I had rather be hated than forgotten wherefore pray let me be sometimes in your thoughts although as a Bryar and not to be flung out Root and Branch Monsieur Esperance Heaven forbid Wife you should become a Thorn in my Mind but thou art there as my Soul nor do I love you at a common rate for were thy person more deformed than ever Nature made either by Sickness or Casualty I still should love thee for thy Virtuous Soul and though your person is very handsom yet I consider not your Beauty but your Health so you be well I care not how you look for my love is at that height as it is beyond the body grown for should I only love you for your Beauty when that is decayed my love must of necessity dy if Beauty were the life Madamoiselle Esperance So then I am only your spiritual love and you will chuse a temporal one elsewhere Monsieur Esperance Prethee be not Jealous of me because I am become assured of your Chastity for know I could sooner hate my self than love or amorously affect any other woman but thy self and when I prove false to you may Iupiter cast me to Plutoes Court there to be tormented Eternally Madamoiselle Esperance Well pardon this fit of Jealousy for I shall never question your affection more nor doubt your Constancy Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madamoiselle La Belle and her Sister Madamoiselle Amor MAdamoiselle La Belle To quarrel and fight for me is strange for as for the one I never saw and the other I have no acquaintance with but had I favoured the one or affronted the other or had favoured them both it might have raised a dispute from a dispute to a quarrel from a quarrel to a duell but many times men make a seeming love the occasion to shew their courage to get
not be seen unless to some particular persons or neer friends 1 Lady And how doth she become her Religious Habit 2 Lady So handsomely as she is far handsomer in her Pease habit than when she was drest with all the Arts of Vanityes 1 Lady What manner of Habit is it 2 Lady Somewhat like the Normetanes but much more becoming 1 Lady Well I will go to the Lady her Mother and intreat her to let me go with her to see her Daughter Exeunt Scene 28. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman 'T is said that now the Lady Perfection is incloystered that the Treaty goeth on betwixt the Arch-Prince and the Emperor Enter a Gentleman running as by they stay him 2 Gent. What 's the matter you run so hastily 1 Gent. I am running to give the Arch-Prince notice that his Neece is in labour and is so ill she is like to dy 2 Gent. We will not stay you then Exeunt Scene 29. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour It 's said the Lady Perfection hath entered into a Religious Order she is happy would I were so Nan It is a question whether you would think your self so if you were as she is Mistriss Odd-Humour I think the happiest life is to be a Devote Nan Faith Mistriss you wish to be a Devote not so much out of a devotion as for a change in life as many wish to be marryed out of a desire to alter their course of life and when they are marryed they wish to be unmarried again so would you do if you were a Devote Mistriss Odd-Humour Oh no for though those that are married wish to be unmarried by reason Marriage is the most troublesome unquiet life that is but a Devotes life is the most peaceable and quiet life that is so as there is as much difference in the course of a Married life and an Incloystered life as between Heaven and Hell Nan Then the most part of the World prefers Hell before Heaven for more are Married than are Incloystered Mistriss Odd-Humour Truly by the course of the VVorld and the action of men one would think there would be more Devils in Hell than Saints in Heaven Exeunt Scene 30. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You hear the news of the Princess delivery and her Death 2 Gent. Yes I heard she died as soon as delivered but she hath left a Son and Heir to her sorrowfull Husband 1 Gent. I do not believe her Husband is much troubled or grieved for her Death as his Father is 2 Gent. Indeed I think the young Lord had no great affections for her 1 Gent. No surely for he loves the Lady he was first married to so well as he could spare no love for any other woman 2 Gent. If that Lady had not entered into a Religious Order he might have remarried her but now he cannot 1 Gent. I believe that if the other Lady had known the Princess should have died so soon she would not have been so Religious as to have Incloystered her self from the VVorld and to ha' bard up her liberty with Vows 2 Gent. 'T is like when she hears of the Princesses Death she will repent the acts of devotion 1 Gent. Then Repentance is not always for acts of evill but sometimes of good 2 Gent. There is Repentance of all sorts and degrees and there are more enter into Religious Orders out of Discontent than for Love to God 1 Gent. That is an uncharitable opinion 2 Gent. Nay 't is not a bare Opinion that may be proved nor uncharitable to speak the truth Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 31. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour Oh Nan I am undone for ever Nan As how Mistriss Mistriss Odd-Humour Why by your neglect and carelessness for your not watching my Fathers coming home to give me notice my Father hath found my Chair for I hearing him come run to hide a-way my Chair he coming and seeing me scuttle about the room imagined I desired to hide something from him for which he searches all my Chamber over at last he went and looked into the Cole-hole where I had flung my Chair and finding it he carried it a-way in one hand and led me a-long in the other hand and causing a fire to be made of the Chair made me stand by to see the Martyrdome whereat I was so afflicted as I lost my fight in tears which tears I let run on the fire hoping to quench it out but they were so brind with grief as they did rather augment the fury of the fire than abate the rage of the flame so that which I thought would have been a preserver did hasten the destruction Nan Faith Mistriss it is none of my fault for your Mother sent me of an errand and whilst I was absent by your Mothers commands it seem'd your Father came home Mistriss Odd-Humour This is an excuse Nan You may believe it 't is no excuse but truth for I that ventured the loss of my Soul by telling a lie to save your Chair would not neglect the watch had not I been commanded away Mistriss Odd-Humour I am of an opinion you were brib'd to betray the life of my Chair and bribes are so powerfull as they corrupt promises and vows even the Soul its self though the Soul makes no use of bribes yet it will venture to be damn'd for a bribes sake Nan Well Mistriss since a mistrust is all my reward you shall tell the next lie your self Mistriss Odd-Humour No prethee Nan let us be friends for I shall never get a Servant that will so readily tell lyes for me as you do wherefore let us shake hands and be friends They shake hands Nan VVell Mistriss let me tell you that my hand and tongue is at your service the one to work the other to lie for your service Mistriss Odd-Humour I thank you Nan for many Servants will lie but few will work Exeunt Scene 32. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Lord Melancholy hath such a sober sad Countenance as I never saw any young man have the like 2 Gent. Indeed I never saw him smile in my life 1 Gent. I askt a Gentleman that waits on him whether his Lord did ever smile he said he never saw him smile since he parted from his first Lady 2 Gent. Then he hath not smiled this nine years for so long it is since he parted from his first Lady 1 Gent. If the siege last one year more it will be as long a siege as the siege of Troy 2 Gent. Indeed the causes of either siege resembles each other as both for the love of fair Ladyes I know not whether the effect will prove alike as whether it will be the destruction of his heart as the siege of Troy was the destruction of Troy 1 Gent. But the Lord Melancholy is rather like Hellen than Menelaus for he hath had two wives and the Lady Perfection is as Menelaus for her
Marriage Nuptials but are you ready Wife for our second Marriage Lady Perfection I am now ready to go into the Bed of Earth Enter two Fathers which take hold of the Lord Melancholy and pull him gently from the Grate Religious Father Hold and stain not this sacred places with murderers blood Lady is this the Devotion profess wickedly to murther your self Lady Perfection Father know I accounted self Death no wickedness and I will venture on my own belief Religious Father But the Church hath power to absolve you now if you desire personly to meet Lady Perfection Yes such power as the Laws had to dissolve our Marriage but the Churches absolving can no more acquit my Conscience from my Devoted Vow than the Laws could from my Marriage Vow Religious Father Pray give us leave to plead Lady Perfection Take it Religious Father You have vowed Chastity and a retir'd Incloystered life Lady Perfection I have so Religious Father Why then marry this Lord again and let him make the same Vow and enter into the same Cloyster and into the same Religious Order of Chastity and being Man and Wife you are but as one person so that if you be constant and true to your selves you keep the Vow of Chastity for what is more Chast than lawfull Marriage and Virtuous Man and Wife Lady Perfection Husband are you willing to make the Vow of Chastity and to live an Incloystered life Lord Melancholy I am all will to that Vow and life for so I shall enjoy thy Soul and Body and good Father re-marry us and then I will thank you for Life and Wife Religious Father First you shall make your Vow then take a Religious Habit and then be re-married and go along with us and we will order you fixt for to enter into this Religious Order of Chastity and if you be both happy in life as sure you will thank your Nurse who hearing your cruell and as I may say irreligious design informed us and placing us within a Loby we heard you and saw you though you knew not that we did so for you had barr'd the outward Door but being within we were ready to come forth and hinder you as we did Lord Melancholy Well Father since you have hindered our Deaths pray make me sit to enjoy Life my Heaven of Life or Life of Heaven Religious Father Come then Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan Mistriss Odd-Humour weeps NAn Why do you weep Mistriss Mistriss Odd-Humour Because my Father will have me marry Nan Many young Maids weep because they cannot get Husbands but few weep to enjoy one Mistriss Odd-Humour I do not cry because I shall have a Husband but because I shall have a Foot to my Husband Nan There are few wise Husbands and fewer wise Men Mistriss Odd-Humour What difference is betwixt a wise Husband and a wise Man Nan Why a wise Husband is to rule and govern his Wife well but a wise Man is to rule and govern himself well and there is more that can tell how to rule and govern others than themselves like as there may be good Kings and not good Men and good Men and not good Kings or as there may be good Teachers as Preachers and not good practisers so this Gentleman you are to marry may be a wise Husband although not a wise Man Mistriss Odd-Humour But he will be both a foolish Husband and a foolish Man Nan If he prove a foolish Husband you have no reason to cry for then you will have the more Liberty Mistriss Odd-Humour The more liberty to be a Fool you mean Nan Indeed liberty to women makes them rather foolish than wise for women know not how to use liberty discreetly for when they have liberty they run beyond the bounds of discretion Mistriss Odd-Humour Faith if I marry this same Gentleman that my Father sayes I shall I shall run beyond the bounds of Matrimony Nan That is to run into your Neighbours Bed Exeunt Scene 37. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Do you hear of the new Religious Order 2 Gent. What new Religious Order 1 Gent. Why the Order of Chastity in marriage 2 Gent. That 's a new Order indeed never heard of before at least not practised but this Order if it continue will make marriage as Religious in life as the marriage of Saints 1 Gent. Why the marriage of men and women is a type of the marriage of Saints 2 Gent. But the type often commits Adultery and for my part I would not be one of that Religious Order 1 Gent. No for on my Conscience I believe you would disorder the Order 2 Gent. But who hath brought up this foolish new Order 1 Gent. The Lord Melancholy and the Lady Perfection who are re-married and have both vowed Chastity in marriage and an Incloystered life and have taken a Religious Habit 2 Gent. The more unwise they that will bind themselves so strictly 1 Gent. So honestly 2 Gent. I hate honesty that way or that way of honesty 1 Gent. You hate that way of honesty because you love the wayes of Adultery Exeunt Scene 38. Enter the Arch-Prince and the Lord Dorato as at the Grate the Curtain is drawn and there appears the Lord Melancholy and the Lady Perfection his Wife as two Religious Devotes both in Religious Habits like to the Normitans they bow like the Religious with their heads downwards and bodyes bent forward ARch-Prince I come not to complain nor reprove your Chast wife for denying my Sute nor am I come only to give you joy of your new marriage but your new Religious Order of Chastity in marriage which Order I believe that few besides your self will enter into Lord Melancholy Then few will be so happy Sir as we are Arch-Prince Indeed happiness lives more in Cloysters than in Courts or Cities or private families but my Lord Dorato your Father here will want the comfort of your Company which should be a Partner with him in the Rule and Government of his Family and Fortunes Lord Melancholy I have left him a Grand-Son Sir to be a comfort to him in my absence and I wish he may prove as obedient to him as I have done Lord Dorato Faith Son the first time of your marriage was without my knowledge or consent but howsoever now I wish you joy and for your sake I will never cross Matrimonial Love whilst I live and I hope God will bless you both so as that you may beget a Religious Generation Arch-Prince All the Children they beget and bring up must be of the Religious Orders Lord Dorato If they will follow their Parents purities and precepts they will Arch-Prince There may proceed from these two a great Generation which may spread all over the World and be famous for Piety and Acts of Devotion Lord Melancholy I hope your Highnesses words are Prophecies of what is to come Arch-Prince I wish they prove so farewell all happiness dwell
the Enemies hope to gain an advantage of his absence but he hath put a Deputy in his place to command in chief untill he recovers 1 Gent. What is become of the Female Army Messenger I hear they are marched towards the Masculine Army but upon what design I cannot understand Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Madam Jantil and her Maid Nell Careless Madam Iantil. Call my Steward The Maid goes out The Lady walks in a musing posture her eyes fixt on the ground Enter the Steward weeping Steward O Madam that I should live to hear this cursed news of my dear Lord and Masters Death Madam Iantil. Life is a curse and there 's none happy but those that dye in the womb before their birth because they have the least share of misery and since you cannot weep out life bear it with patience but thy tears have almost washt out the memory of what I was to say but this it is that I would have you sell all my Jewels Plate and Houshold Furniture to the best advantage and to turn off all my Servants but just those to attend my person but to reward all of them with something more than their wages and those Servants that are old and have spent their youth with my Lords Predecessors and in his service but especially those he favoured most give them so much during their lives as may keep them from the miseries of necessity and vexations of poverty Thirdly I would have you hire the best and curioust Carvers or Cutters of Stones to make a Tomb after my direction as First I will have a marble piece raised from the ground about half a mans height or somthing more and somthing longer than my Husbands dead body and then my Husbands Image Carved out of Marble to be laid thereupon his Image to be Carved with his Armor on and half a Head-piece on the Head that the face might be seen which face I would have to the life as much as Art can make it also let there be two Statues one for Mercury and another for Pallas these two Statues to stand at his head and the hands of these Statues to join and to be laid under as carrying the head of my Husbands figure or as the head lay thereupon and their hands as his Pillow on the right side of his figure let there be a Statue for Mars and the hand of Mars's Statue holding the right hand of my Husbands figure and on the left hand a Statue for Hymen the hand on the place of the heart of my Husbands figure and at the feet of the figure let there be placed a Statue for Fortune also about a yard distance from the Tomb at the four Corners thereof let there be four Marble Pillars raised of an indifferent height and an Arched Marble Cover thereupon and let all the ground be paved underneath with Marble and in the midst on the outside of the marble roof let the Statute of Fame be placed in a flying posture and as blowing a Trumpet then some two yards distance square from those Pillars let the ground be paved also with Marble and at the four Corners four other Marble Pillars raised as high as the former with Capitals at top and the body of those Pillars round and the Statues of the four Cardinal Virtues placed on those Capitals sitting as in a weeping posture and at the feet of those Pillars the Statues of the Graces imbracing each Pillar as the Statue of Charity the Pillar whereon the Statue of Justice sits and the Statue of Patience the Pillar of Temperance and the Statute of Hope the Pillar of Prudence and the Statue of Faith the Pillar of Fortitude then set a grove of Trees all about the out-side of them as Lawrel Mirtle Cipress and Olive for in Death is Peace in which Trees the Birds may sit and sing his Elegy this Tomb placed in the midst of a piece of ground of some ten or twenty Acres which I would have incompassed about with a Wall of Brick of a reasonable height on the inside of the Wall at one end I would have built a little house divided into three Rooms as a Gallery a Bed-chamber and a Closet on the outside of the Wall a House for some necessary Servants to live in to dress my meat and to be ready at my call which will be but seldome and that by the ring of a Bell but the three Rooms I would have furnished after this manner my Chamber and the Bed therein to be hung with white to signify the Purity of Chastity wherein is no Colours made by false lights the Gallery with several Colours intermixt to signify the varieties changes and incombrances of life my Closet to be hung with black to signify the darkness of Death wherein all things are forgotten and buried in Oblivion thus will I live a signification not as a real substance but as a shaddow made betwixt life and death from this House which shall be my living Tomb to the Tomb of my dead Husband I would have a Cloyster built through which I may walk freely to my Husbands Tomb from the injuries of the weather and this Cloyster I would have all the sides thereof hung with my Husbands Pictures drawn to the life by the best Painters and all the several accidents studies and exercise of his life thus will I have the story of his life drawn to the life see this my desire speedily carefully and punctually done and I shall reward your service as a carefull and diligent Steward and Servant Steward It shall be done but why will not your Ladyship have my Lords figure cast in Brass Madam Iantil. Because the Wars ruin Tombs before Time doth and metals being usefull therein are often taken away by necessity and we seldome find any ancient Monuments but what are made of Stone for covetousness is apt to rob Monuments of metal committing Sacrileges on the dead for metals are soonest melted into profit but Stone is dull and heavy creeping slowly bringing but a cold advantage wherein lies more pains than gains Steward But your Ladyship may do all this without selling your Jewels Plate and Houshold Furniture Madam Iantil. It is true but I would not let so much wealth ly dead in Vanity when exchanging them for money I can imploy it to some good use Steward Your Ladyship hath forgotten to give order for blacks Madam Iantil. No I have not but I will give no mourning untill my Husbands body be carried to the Tomb wherefore I have nothing more to imploy you in at this time but only to send hither my Chaplain Doctor Educature The Steward goes out Enter Doctor Educature Madam Iantil. Doctor although it is not the profession of a Divine to be an Historian yet you knowing my Husbands life and natural disposition best being in his Childhood under you Tutorage and one of his Family ever since I know none so proper for that work as you and though you are
naturally an eloquent Orator yet the bare truth of his worthy Virtues and Heroical actions will be sufficient to make the story both profitable delightfull and famous also I must intreat you to choose out a Poet one that doth not meerly write for gain or to express his own wit so much as to endeavour to Pencil with the pen Virtue to the life which in my Lord was so beautifull as it was beyond all draughts but the theam will inspire his Muse and when both these works are writ printed and set out as divulged to the World as a patern for examples which few will be able to imitate then I would have these books ly by me as Registers of memory for next unto the Gods my life shall be spent in Contemplation of him I know I shall not need to perswade you to do this for your affection to his memory is ready of it self but love and duty binds me to express my desires for his Fame leaving nothing which is for my part thereunto Doctor Educature Madam all the service I can do towards the memory of my dear Pupil and noble Lord and Patron shall be most devoutly observed and followed for Heaven knows if I had as many lives to dispose of as I have lived years I would have Sacrificed them all for to haue redeemed his life from Death Doctor Educature goes out Madam Jantil alone Madam Iantil. When I have interred my Husbands body and all my desires thereunto be finished I shall be at some rest and like an Executrix to my self executing my own will distributing the Rites and Ceremonies as Legacies to the dead thus the living gives the dead but O my Spirits are tired with the heavy burden of Melancholy and grow faint for want of rest yet my senses invite me thereunto yet I cannot rest in my Bed for frightfull Dreams disturb me wherefore I will ly down on this floor and try if I can get a quiet sleep on the ground for from Earth I came and to Earth I would willingly return She lays her self down upon the ground on one side of her Arm bowing leaning upon her Elbow her Forehead upon the palm of her hand bowing forwards her face towards the ground but her grief elevating her passion thus speaks Madam Iantil. Weep cold Earth through your pores weep Or in your bowels my salt tears fast keep Inurn my sighs which from my grief is sent With my hard groans build up a Monument My Tongue like as a pen shall write his name My words as letters to divulge his fame My life like to an Arch over his Ashes bend And my desires to his grave descend I warn thee Life keep me not Company I am a friend to Death thy Enemy For thou art cruell and every thing torments Wounding with pain all that the World presents But Death is generous and sets us free Breaks off our Chains and gives us liberty Heals up our wounds of trouble with sweet rest Draws our corrupted passions from our breast Layes us to sleep on Pillows of soft case Rocks us with silence nothing hears nor sees She fetches'a great sigh O that I may here sleep my last After a short slumber she wakes If it were not for Dreams sleep would be a happiness next unto Death but I find I cannot sleep a long sleep in Death I shall not dye so soon as I would Love is so strong and pure it cannot dy Lives not in sense but in the Soul doth lye Why do I mourn his love with mine doth dwell His love is pleas'd mine entertains it well But mine would be like his one imbodied Only an Essence or like a Godhead Exeunt Scene 22. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOctor Comfort How doth our Lady Doll Doll Pacify To day she began to sit up but yet she is very weak and faint Doctor Comfort Heaven help her Doll Pacify You that are Heavens Almner should distribute Heavens gifts out of the purse of your mouth and give her single Godly words instead of single silver pence to buy her some Heavenly food to feed her famisht mind Doctor Comfort Thou are a full-fed wench Doll Pacify If I were no better fed than you feed me which is but once a week as on Sundayes I should be starved Doctor Comfort You must fast and pray fast and pray Exeunt ACT V. Scene 23. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. All the young Gallants in the Town are preparing themselves with fine Cloths and Feathers to go a woing to the two rich Widows the Lady Iantil and the Lady Passionate 2 Gent. Riches are the Loadstone of affection or at least professions 1 Gent. The truth is Riches draw more Suters than Youth Beauty or Virtue Exeunt Scene 24. Enter two or three Gentlemen Monsieur Comerade Monsieur Compagnion and Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur Comerade For Heavens sake let us go and address our selves to the two Rich Widows Monsieur Compagnion For my part I will address my self to none but the young Widow the Lady Iantil and to her let us go without delay Monsieur la Gravity It will be uncivil to go so soon after their Husbands Death for their Husbands are not yet laid in their Graves Monsieur Compagnion If they were we should come too late for I knew a man which was a great friend of mine who was resolved to settle himself in a married course of life and so he went a wooing to a Widow for a Widow he was resolved to marry and he went a wooing to one whose Husband was but just cold in his grave but she told him she was promised before so he wooed another whilst she followed her Husbands Corps but she told him he came too late whereat he thought with the third not to be a second in his Sute and so expressed his desires in her Husbands sickness she told him she was very sorry that she had past her word before to another for if she had not she would have ma le him her choice whereat he curst his imprudence and wooed the fourth on her wedding day who gave him a promise after her Husband was dead to marry him and withall she told him that if she had been married before it had been ten to one but he had spoke too late for said she when we are Maids we are kept from the free conversation of men by our Parents or Guardians but on our wedding day we are made free and set at liberty and like as young Heirs on the day of one and twenty we make promises like bonds for two or three lives wherefore I fear we shall miss of our hopes for these two Widows will be promised before we address our Sute Monsieur la Gravity No no for I am confident all do not so for some love to have the freedoms of their wills for every promise is a bondage to those that make a Conscience to keep their promise besides it is not only variety that pleaseth women but
or Councel the designer of the smooth Plays of Peace is a Poet or a chief Magistrate but the difference of these Plays Acted on each Theatre is the one is real the other feigned the one in earnest the other in jest for a Poet only feigns Tragedies but the Souldiers do truly act Tragedies on the Poetical Theatre I will only insist for this Theatre belongs more to our persons and is a more fitter Subject for the discourse of our Sex than Warr is for we delight more in Scenes than in Battels I will begin first with Poets who are the Authors and makers of these kind of Plays Fame hath spoke loud both of antient and modern Poets as for the antient Poets they are a length out of the reach of my Judgement so as my opinion will hardly reach so far but as for our Modern Poets that have made Plays in our Modern times although they deserve praise yet not so much nor so high Applause as is given them for most of their plots or Foundation of their Plays were taken out of old Authors as from the Greeks and Romans Historians and Poets also all the Modern Romances are taken out of these Stories and many Playes out of these Romances Matron Lady give me leave a little while to instruct you as to tell you that all Romances should be so for the ground of a right Romance is a true story only falshood is intermixt therein so that a Romance is a compound of Truth and Falshood Lady Speaker Give me leave to answer you that in my opinion a right Romance is Poetical Fictions put into a Historical Stile but for Plays the true Comedy is pure Love and Humours also the Customes Manners and the Habits and inbred qualities of mankind And right Tragi-Comedies are the descriptions of the Passions which are created in the Soul And a right Tragedy is intermixt with the Passions Appetites and Humours of men with the influence of outward actions accidents and misfortunes but as I said some Poets take the Plots out of true History others out of feigned Historie which are Romances so as their Plots for the most part are meer Translations and oft times the VVit is also but a translated VVit only metamorphosed after their own way but the truth is that some of them their VVit is their own and their Plots were stoln or plainly taken and some their Plots are their own but the VVit stoln but of all theft VVit is never confest and some neither the Plot nor Wit is their own and other both Plots and VVit are truly their own These last Poets although but very few are the true Sons of Nature the other but as adulterate issues But for the most part our Modern Plays both Plots and VVit are meer translations and yet come out as boldly upon the Stage as if the Translators were the Original Authors thinking or at least hoping that the alteration of the Language conceals the theft which to the unlearned it doth but the learned soon find them out and see all their Bodies VVings Leggs Tail and Feathers although they hide their head in the Bush of Ignorance I speak not in discommendation of these Translations nor Translators for Translations are so far from being condemned as they ought to be much nay very much commended and highly praised if it be such as is praise worthy for old Authors may in some expressions be more profitable and good both for VVit and Examples than the modern and the Translators may be commended both for their Judgement and Learning besides very good Translators must have a sympathetical Genius with the Original Author but their Condemnation proceeds from the Translators unjust owning of it upon themselves or in translating it to the Authors prejudice Matron Lady let me interrupt you once again to ask your opinion how you like the Italian and French Plays Lady Speaker As well as I can like any thing that is a strain beyond Nature or as I may say Natures Constraint for the truth is in their discourse or rehearsals they do not only raise their Voice a Note or two too high but many Notes too high and in their actions they are so forced as the Spectators might very easily believe the Actors would break their Sinew-strings and in their Speech they fetch their breath so short and thick and in such painfull fetches and throws as those Spectators that are Strangers might verily believe that they were gasping for life Matron But Lady all know Love which is the Theam or Subject of Plays is a violent passion which forces the Players to an Elevation of Action and Speech Lady Speaker Most Reverend Matron my opinion is that though it be commendable and admirable for the Poet to be elevated with a Poetical Divine Inspiration to outdo Nature yet for the Actors their best grace is to Play or Act in the Tracts or Paths of Nature and to keep within Natures bounds and whensoever they go awry or transgresse therefrom they are to be condemned and to be accounted ill Actors and as for the Passions of Love certainly the strongest Love is like the deepest VVater which is most silent and least unnecessarily active they may sometimes murmur with winds of sighs but never roar they neither foam nor froth with violence but are composed into a heavy body with a setled sadnesse But in short the Italian and French Players act more Romantical than Natural which is feign'd and constrain'd but to conclude with the Poet he delights the Ear and the Understanding with the variety of every thing that Nature hath made or Art invented for a Poet is like a Bee that gathers the sweet of every Flower and brings the Hony to his Hive which are the Ears and Memory of the Hearers or Readers in whose Head his VVit swarms but as Painters Draw to the life so Poets should VVrite to the life and Players Act to the life Exeunt Scene 13. Enter three Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Academy of Ladies take no notice of the Academy of Men nor seem to consider what the men say for they go on thier own serious way and edifying discourses 2 Gent. At which the men are so angry as they have sworn to leave off talking and instead thereof they will sound Trumpets so loud when the Ladys are in their discoursings as they shall not hear themselves speak by which means they hope to draw them out of their Cloyster as they swarm Bees for as Bees gather together at the sound of a Basin Kettle or such like metled thing so they will disperse that swarm of Academical Ladies with the sound of brazen Trumpets 3. Gent. Why the Ladies look through their Grate upon the men whilst the men are speaking and seem to listen to what they speak as the men do on and to the Ladies 2. Gent. That is true but they take no notice of them in their literal Discourses as what the men have said for they
of War and the warring women the General told them he made no question but that most men knew by experience that women were won by gentle perswasions and fair promises and not by rigid actions or angry frowns besides said he all noble natures strive to assist the weakest in all lawfull actions and that he was no gallant man that submits not to a woman in all things that are honourable and when he doth dissent it must be in a Courtly manner and a Complemental behaviour and expression for that women were Creatures made by nature for men to love and admire to protect and defend to cherish and maintain to seek and to sue to and especially such women which have out-done all their Sex which nature ever made before them wherefore said he 't is fit to these women above all others we should yield our selves Prisoners not only in love but in Arms wherefore let us treat fairly with them and give them their own conditions But in the mean time the Lady Victoria thought it best not to lose my opportunity with talking out the time wherefore she besieged a considerable Fort a place which was at it were the Key that unlockt the passage into the heart of the Enemies Kingdome and at this siege they were when became away but the General and his Council had sent a Messenger unto them but what his message was I cannot give you an account Exeunt Scene 6. Enter two men in Mourning 1 MAn Now my Lord is Intombed our Lady will enanchor her self by his Ashe 2 Man 'T is strange so young and beautifull a Lady should bury her self from the World and quit all the pleasures thereof to live with dead Ashes 1 Man A grieved Mind Melancholy Thoughts and an Oppressed Heart considers not the Body nor the World 2 Man But yet I think 't is an example that few of her Sex will imitate 1 Man Because few of the Female Sex can truly Grieve or be Melancholy 2 Man No it is that few of the Female Sex can truly and constantly Love Exeunt Scene 7. The Tomb being thrust on the Stage enter Madam Jantil and a Company of Mourners but the Lady Jantil was attired in a Garment of rich Cloth of gold girt loosly about her and a Mantle of Crimson Velvet lined with powdered Ermins over that her woman bearing up the Train thereof being long her Hair all unbound hung loose upon her Shoulders and Back upon her Head a rich Crown of Iewels as also Pendant Iewels in her Ears and on her Wrists costly Bracelets when she came in she goeth towards the Tomb and bows with great respect and devotion thereto thou speaks directing her speech to every several Figure These following Verses or Speeches were written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle Lady Iantil. Pallas and Mercury at thy Death mourned So as to marble Statues here th' are turned Mars sheaths his Sword and begs of thee a room To bury all his courage in thy Tomb Hymen amazed stands and is in doubt Thy Death his holy fier hath put out What various shape of Fortune thou didst meet Thou scorn'st her frowns and kicks he with thy feet Now sound aloud the Trumpet of good Fame And blow abroad his everlasting name After this she directs her speech to the outward figures about the Tomb The Cardinal Virtues Pillars of thy fame Weep to see now each but an empty name Only for Painters and for Carvers be When thy life sustain'd them more than they Thee Each Capital a sadder Virtue bears But for the Graces would be drowned in tears Faith strengthens Fortitude lest she should faint Hope comforts Prudence as her only Saint And Charity to Justice doth advance To Counsel her as Patience Temperance But wofull Counsellors they are each one Since grief for thy Death turn'd them all to stone Then putting off her rich Garments and Ornaments before mentioned as she was undressing she spake thus Now I depose my self and here lay down Titles not Honour with my richer Crown This Crimson Velvet Mantle I throw by There case and plenty in rich Ermins lie Off with this glittring Gown which once did bear Ambition and fond pride ly you all there Bracelets and Pendants which I now do wear Here I devest my Arms and so each Ear Cut off these dangling Tresses once a crime Urging my Glass to look away my time Thus all these Worldly vanities I wave And bury them all in my Husbands grave After this she calls for her other Garments which was a pure white light silk loose Garment girt about her with a white silk Cord and then puts on a thin black Veil over it and then takes a Book in her hand but speaks as they were a putting on those latter Garments More of my Lord Marquesses are these Lady Iantel Put on that pure and spotless garment white To shew my chaster thoughts my Souls delight Cord of Humility about my waste A Veil of obscure Mourning about me cast Here by this sadder Tomb shall be my Station And in this Book my holy Contemplation She turns her self to her Servants Farewell my Servants farewell every one As you all love me pray leave me alone They all go forth weeping When they were all gone and she alone she turns her self to the Tomb No dust shall on thy marble ever stay But with my sadder sighs I le blow 't away And the least spot that any Pillar bears I le wash it clean with grief of dropping tears Sun fly this Hemisphaer and feast my Eyes With Melancholy night and never rise Nor by reflection for all light I hate Therefore no Planet do illuminate The twinkling Stars that in cold nights are seen Clouds muster up and hide them as a Screen The Centrick fire raise vapours from the Earth Get and be Midwife for those fogs their birth Then chilling colds freeze up thy pores without That trembling Earth-quakes no where may get out And that our Mother Earth may nothing wear But Snow and Icicles to curl her hair And so Dame Nature Barren nothing bring Wishing a Chaos since despairs a Spring Since all my joys are gone what shall I do But with the whole World ruined with me too Here ends my Lord Marquesses Verses Exeunt ACT III Scene 8. Enter the Lady Victoria and many of her Amazons then enters a Messenger from the Masculine Army MEssenger May it please your Excellence our Lord General and the rest of the Commanders have sent you and your Heroicks a Letter desiring it may be read in a full Assembly Lady Victoria One of you take the Letter and read it One of the women takes the Letter and reads it to all the Company THE LETTER To the most Excellent of her Sex and her most worthy Heroickesses YOu Goddesses on Earth who have the power and dominion over men 't is you we worship and adore we pray and implore your better opinions of us than to believe we are so unjust
as to take the Victory out of your fair hands or so vain-glorious as to attribute it to our selves or so ungratefull as not to acknowledg our lives and liberties from your valours wisdoms and good fortune or so imprudent as to neglect your power or so ill-bred as to pass by you without making our addresses or so foolish as to go about any action without your knowledge or so unmannerly as to do anything without your leave wherefore we entreat you and pray you to believe that we have so much honour in us as to admire your beauties to be attentive to your discourses to dote on your persons to honour your virtues to divulge your sweet graces to praise your behaviours to wait your commands to obey your directions to be proud of your favours and we wear our lives only for your service and believe we are not only taken Captives by your Beauties but that we acknowledge we are bound as your Slaves by your valours wherefore we all pray that you may not misinterpret our affections and care to your persons in believing we sent you away because we were weary of you which if so it had been a sin unpardonable but we sent you away for your safety for Heaven knows your Departure was our Hell and your Absence our Torments but we confess our errours and do humbly beg our pardons for if you had accompanied us in our Battels you had kept us safe for had we fought in your presence our Enemies had never overcome us since we take courage from your Eyes life from your smiles and victory from your good wishes and had become Conquerours by your incouragements and so we might have triumpht in your favours but hereafter your rules shall be our methods by which we will govern all our actions attending only wholy your directions yet give us leave humbly to offer our advise as Subjects to their Princess if you think fit we think it best to follow close the victory lest that our Enemies recruit their forces with a sufficient strength to beat us out of what we have gained or at least to hinder and oppose our entrance and hopes of Conquering them where if you will give us leave we will besiege and enter their Towns and rase their Walls down to the ground which harbour their disorders offending their Neighbours Kingdoms yet we are not so ambitous as to desire to be Commanders but to join our forces to yours and to be your assistants and as your Common Souldiers but leaving all these affairs of War to your discretion offering our selves to your service We kiss your hands and take our leaves for this time All the women fall into a great laughter ha ha ha ha Lady Victoria Noble Heroickesses by your valours and constant and resolute proceedings you have brought your Tyrants to be your Slaves those that Commanded your absence now humbly sue your presence those that thought you a hindrance have felt your assistance the time is well altered since we were sent to retreat back from the Masculine Army and now nothing to be done in that Army without our advise with an humble desire they may join their forces with ours but gallant Heroickesses by this you may perceive we were as ignorant of our selves as men were of us thinking our selves shifdels weak and unprofitable Creatures but by our actions of War we have proved our selves to be every way equal with men for what we want of strength we have supplied by industry and had we not done what we have done we should have lived in ignorance and slavery All the Female Commanders All the knowledge of our selves the honour of renown the freedome from slavery and the submission of men we acknowledge from you for you advised us counselled us instructed us and encouraged us to those actions of War wherefore to you we owe our thanks and to you we give our thanks Lady Victoria What answer will you return to the Masculine Army All the Commanders What answer you will think best Lady Victoria We shall not need to write back an answer for this Messenger may deliver it by word of mouth wherefore Sir pray remember us to your General and his Commanders and tell them that we are willing upon their submissions to be friends and that we have not neglected our good Fortune for we have laid siege to so considerable a Fort which if taken may give an easy passage into the Kingdome which Fort we will deliver to their forces when they come that they may have the honour of taking it for tell them we have got honour enough in the Battel we fought and victory we did win Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur Compagnion and Monsieur Comerade MOnsieur Compagnion We are bound to curse you Monsieur Gravity for retarding our visits to the Widows for I told you we should come too late if we did not go before their Husbands were buried Monsieur la Gravity But I do not hear they have made a promise to marry any as yet Monsieur Compagnion That 's all one unto us but the noblest youngest richest and fairest VVidow is gone for though she is not promised or married yet she is incloistered and that is worse than marriage for if she had been married there might have been some hopes her Husband would have died or been kill'd or some wayes or other Death would have found to have taken him away Monsieur Comerade Let us comfort our selves with hopes that it is but a Ladies humour which she will be soon weary of for when her Melancholy fit is over she will come forth of her Cloister and be fonder to marry than if she had never gone in Monsieur la Gravity VVell since she is gone let us assault the other Monsieur Compagnion VVhat the old woman that hath never a Tooth in her head Monsieur Comerade VVhy she is rich and she will kiss the softer for having no Bones in her mouth Monsieur Compagnion The Devill shall kiss her before I will besides an old woman is thought a Witch Monsieur la Gravity Pish that is because they are grown ill-favoured with Age and all young people think whatsoever is ill-favoured belongs to the Devill Monsieur Compagnion An antient man is a comely sight being grave and wise by experience and what he hath lost in his person he hath gained in his understanding besides beauty in men looks as unhandsome as age in women as being effiminate but an old woman looks like the picture of Envy with hollow Eyes fallen Checks lank Sides black pale Complexion and more Wrinkles than time hath Minutes Monsieur Comerade Nay by your favour some old women look like the full Moon with a red swell'd great broad face and their Bodies like as a spungy Cloud thick and gross like our fat Hostess Monsieur la Gravity Gentlemen why do you rail against antient women so much since those that are wise will never marry such Boyes