that is thou shalt be free from sorrow heauinesse and many troubles which many parents haue with vngracious children and on the other side thou shalt haue much comfort and delight by him Great benefit also commeth thereby to the children as he sheweth in the 15. verse The rod and correction giue wisedome aud Chap. 23. 13. 14. Whereas the neglect of it bringeth hurt to the child and to the parents as followeth A child set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed And for seruants the Wiseman doth closely shew how they must be dealt withall where he saith Prou. 29. 21. He which bringeth vp his seruant delicately from his youth at length will be depriued of his children And a little before verse 19. he saith A seruant will not be chastised with words though he vnderstand yet he will not answer or regard These Scriptures shew that God hath put the rod of correction in the hands of the Gouernours of the family by punishment to saue them from destruction which if the bridle were let loose vnto them they would run vnto Where men and women are content to go contrary to their owne nature and to vndergo ill reports to obey the ordinance of God there God will giue a blessing that is a well ordered familie wherein all shall be of good hope These be the duties that the chiefe of the familie oweth to them of his familie within doores as touching godlinesse The wife also which is a fellow-helper hath some things belonging to her to further godlinesse in her familie As for example in her selfe to giue example to her houshold of all readie submission to all good and Christian orders to order her houshold affaires so carefully that no exercise of religion be hindred or put out of place at such time as they should be done in her husbands absence to see good orders obserued as he hath appointed to watch ouer the manners and behauiour of such as be in her house and to helpe her husband in spying out euils that are breeding that by his wisedome they may be preuented or cured Salomon saith of the vertuous woman that she ouerseeth the wayes of her houshold And a little before she openeth her mouth with wisedome and the law of grace is in her tongue And Saint Paul requireth that wiues specially the elder be teachers of good things and that they instruct the yonger They may also do much good in framing the tender yeares of their children vnto good while they be vnder their hands For euen as a child cockered and made a wanton by the mother will be more vntractable when the father will seeke to bend him to good so on the other side a child wisely trained vp by the mother in the yong yeares will be the easilier brought to goodnesse by the fathers godly care We reade that Timothy was made acquainted with the Scripture from a little child by meanes of his godly mother and grandmother a good patterne for Christians And marke the proofe God recompenced their godly care exceedingly for Timothie proued a rare yong man of excellent graces to the great ioy and comfort of his parents Mothers may also powre good liquor into their childrens tender vessels the sauour whereof shall sticke in them a long while after I meane they may sow in their mindes the seede of religion and godlinesse These and such like duties if the wife performe constantly she shall bring no small helpe to her husband for the godly and religious ordering of his house And thus much of that part of Houshold gouernment which concerneth godlinesse Now we come to the other part which pertaines to the things of this life wherein is to be considered what is the duty of the husband and of the wife namely to Take order for Prouision and Health They must take order for prouision for necessaries to the maintenance of themselues and all their charge These necessaries are food and rayment Also care must be had of the health of such as be in their families both to preserue it by rest and recreation if need be and to restore it if it be hindred by good looking to such as are fallen into sicknesse That the gouernours of the familie must make honest prouision for themselues and their charge and not liue vpon the Church-almes or by begging purloyning borrowing or cousining It is most euident by that saying of Saint Paul to Timothie He that prouideth not for his owne and especially for them of his house hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an infidell And Salomon saith The iust man regardeth the life of his beast much more of his seruants and children And as the Spirit of God chargeth vs with this dutie so he setteth vs about such things whereby this may be compassed and forewarneth vs of those things whereby it might be hindered The things that he teacheth vs for the making of this prouision are first That euery one should haue some honest and good calling and should walke diligently in it that it may bring in honest gaine whereby necessaries for the family may be prepared That euery man must applie himselfe to some studie and calling is so knowne that it needeth no proofe In the sweate of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread c. Which condemneth all such as liue of the labours of other men and themselues take no paines or trauaile do no good in the world benefite not humane societie any way but deuoure the good creatures of the earth which indeed belong to them that take all the paines In this ranke do a number of Gentiles in the world march deuising gay toyes which might well be spared who are but vnprofitable burthens of the earth that fill vp number like Ciphers who glory in their shame that is in their ease pleasures and brauerie whereof if they knew whereto a man was borne they would be ashamed These be they for whose maintenance in their iollitie a number are faine to toyle very hardly fare meanely and spend their strength to the very skinne and bones and yet can get but a slender recompence through their vnmercifull exactions But enough of them to returne The good gouernour of a house must be none of these but he must haue a calling that is good honest and lawfull not onely gainfull to himselfe but also holy and profitable to the societie of mankind For thus much doth Saint Paul comprehend within the compasse of his words Ephes. 4. 28. But let him labour the thing that is good It is not enough to haue a calling though it be neuer so good but it must be followed so as it may bring in maintenance for thee and thine such as is meete for thy estate But how must it be followed First with diligence for as Salomon saith Prou. 8. 9. He that caryeth himselfe slothfully or loosely in his businesse is the brother of a great waster that is
The meaning is that she getteth some matter to worke on that she may exercise her selfe and her familie in and it is not some idle toy to make the world gay withall but some matter of good vse Her familie is clothed with double and her husband is knowne in the gate he is so comely and trimly apparelled by her diligence at home that he is in regard among men and knowne when he goeth But what need such as can liue by their lands to labour with their hands What neede had the woman that Salomon speaketh of The conscience of doing good in the world should draw them to do that which no neede driueth them vnto Remēber that the vertuous woman stretcheth out her hand to the poore and needie Prou. 21. 20. She giueth not of her husbands she giueth of her owne she found a way to do good without the hurt of her husband S. Paul requireth that women should aray themselues with good works the comeliest ornament in the world if women had spirituall eyes to discerne it Dorcas in the Actes teacheth wiues how to get this array for she made garments to cloath the naked and the poore Thus might women finde how to set themselues a worke though they could liue of their owne But for such as haue but a meane allowance God thereby sheweth that he will haue them occupie themselues in some honest labour to keepe them from idlenesse and the euils that issue there-from They therefore must labour if not to sell cloth as Salomons woman did nor to cloath the poore as Dorcas did yet to cloath her family that they may not care for the cold Let her auoide such occasions as may draw her from her calling She must shake of sloth and loue of ease she must auoyd gossiping further then the law of good neighbourhood doth require S. Paul would haue a woman a good home keeper The vertuous woman is neuer so wel as when she is in the middest of her affaires She that much frequenteth meetings of gossips seldome commeth better home Some count it a disgrace to come much abroad least they should be counted gossips which name is become odious but they must haue tatlers come home to them to bring them newes and to hold them in a tale lest they should be thought to be idle without a cause They perceiue not how time runneth nor how vntowardly their busines goeth forward while they sit idle They know not that great tale-bringers be as great carriers and that such make their gaine of carrying and recarrying The wise woman will be warie whom she admitteth into her house to sit long there knowing that their occupations is but to marke and carry Towards her neighbours she is not sowre but curteous not disdainefull to the basest but affable with modestie no fcorner nor giber but bearing with infirmities and making the best of things not ready to stomacke them for euery light matter and so to looke big but passing by offences for vnities sake not angrie but milde not bold but bashfull not full of words powring out all her mind and babling of her household matters that were more fitter to be concealed but speaking vpon good occasion and that with discretion Let her heare and see and say the best and yet let her soone breake off talke with such in whom she perceiueth no wisedome nor sauour of grace Let her not be light to beleeue reports nor ready to tell them againe to fill the time with talke for silence is farre better then such vnsauory talke Let her not be churlish but helpefull in all things to preuent breaches or else to make them vp againe if by the waywardnesse of others there be any made Let her not be enuious but glad of the good of others nor fond of euery thing that she seeth her neighbour haue but wisely considering what is meete for her selfe what her state wil beare Let her not be garish in apparell but sober and modest not nice nor coy but handsome and huswife-like no talker of other mens matters nor giuen to speake ill of any for feare of the like measure Math. 7. 2. 1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife THis dutie consisteth seuerally in these three points First that he liue with his wife discreetly according vnto knowledge Secondly that he be not bitter fierce and cruell vnto her Thirdly that he loue cherish and nourish his wife euen as his owne body and as Christ loued the Church and gaue himselfe for it to sanctifie it But before we shall speake of these three points we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy wedlocke what it is when where how and of whom it was instituted and ordained Wedlocke or Matrimonie is a lawfull knot and vnto God 〈◊〉 acceptable yoking and ioyning together of one man and one woman with the good consent of them both to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honesty one helping and comforting the other eschuing whoredome and all vncleannesse bringing vp their children in the feare of God or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh according to the ordinance of God not to be broken but so to continue during the life of either of them Gen. 22. Malach. 2. 14. Rom. 7. 31. By yoking ioyning or coupling is meant not onely outward dwelling together of the married folkes as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place for the better performance of mutuall duties each to other Mat. 1. 18. 1. Corin. 7. 10. 12. 13. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Ruth 4. 11. 12. but also an vniforme agreement of mind and a common participation of body and goods for as much as the Lord saith that they two shall be one flesh that is one body This is to be remembred that Matrimonie or Wedlocke must not onely be a coupling together but also must be such a coupling together as cometh of God and is not contrary to his word and will For there be some mariages made whom God coupleth not together but carnall lust beauty riches goods and landes flatterie and frienship In such marriages God is not thought vpon and therefore they sinne the more against him These and such like marriages be disliked and condemned in the Scripture Gene. 6. 12. c. Math. 24. 38. 39. God himselfe did appoint and ordaine matrimonie in Paradice so that he is the author of the same Gen. 2 20. Yea and so our Sauiour Christ himselfe who was the very naturall Sonne of God being borne in wedlocke although of a pure Virgin did honour commend matrimony while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle Ioh. 2. 1. at a Marriage whereby he did declare that the Lord is able to make the bitternesse of mariage sweet the scarcity thereof to abound with plenty And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to Marriage saying that it is Honourable among all Heb 13. 4.
thought before God of these and other notorious vices yet euery one before men should auouch it and approue it in their doing and liue so vprightly holily iustly and vnblameably that none could iusily charge them with any open sinne Luke 1. 6. 15. Iob. 1. 1. 1. Thessal 2. 10. and 3. 13. Tit. 2. 12. 1. Pet. 1. 15. The next signe is The looke For as Salomon saith The wisedome of a man doth make his face to shine Eccles. 8. 1. that is procureth him fauour and good liking So also godlinesse is in the face of a man or of a woman and so likewise follie and wickednesse may many times be seene and discerned by the face of a man or a woman And therefore it is said in Esay The triall of their countenance testifieth against them as though their looks could speake And therefore we reade of proud lookes and angrie lookes and wanton lookes because they bewray pride and anger and wantonnesse It is truly said that a modest man dwells at the signe of a modest countenance and an honest woman dwelleth at the signe of an honest face which may fitly be compared to the gate of the Temple that was called Beautifull shewing that if the entrie be so beautifull within is great beautie To shew how a modest countenance and womanly shamefastnesse do commend a chast wife it is obserued that the word Nuptiae doth declare the manner of her marriage for it importeth a couering because virgines which should be married when they came to their husbands for modestie and shamefastnesse did couer their faces as we reade of Rebecca who when the saw Isaac and knew that he should be her husband cast a vayle before her face shewing that modesty should be learned before marriage which is the dowrie that God addeth to her portion The third signe is her talke or speech or rather her silence For a man or a womans talking is the mirrour and messenger of the mind in the which it may commonly be seene without in what case the man or woman is within according to the common prouerb Such as the man or woman is such is their talke Now silence is the best ornament of a woman and therefore the law was giuen to the man rather then to the woman to shew that he should be the teacher and she the hearer and therefore she is commanded to learne of her husband 1. Cor. 14. 34. 35. As the Eccho answereth but one word for many which are spoken to her so a Maids answer shoud be in a word for she which is full of talke is not likely to prooue a quiet wife The eye and the speech are as the glasses of the mind For out of the abundance of the heart saith our Sauiour the mouth speaketh As though by the speech we might know what aboundeth in the heart and therefore he saith By thy mordes thoushalt be instified and by thy words thou shalt be condemned That is thou shalt be iustified to be wife or thou shalt be condemned to be foolish thou shalt be iustified to be sober or thou shalt be condemned to be rash thou shalt be iustified to be humble or thou shalt be condemned to be proud thou shalt be iustified to be louing or thou shalt be condemned to be enuious Therefore Salomon saith A fooles lips are a snare to his owne soule Snares are made for other but this snare catcheth a mans selfe because it bewrayeth a mans follie and causeth his trouble and bringeth him into discredit Contrariwise The heart of the wise saith Salomon guideth his mouth wisely and the words of his mouth haue grace Now to shew that this should be one marke in the choise of a wife Saloman describing a right wife saith She openeth her mouth with wisedome and the law of grace is in her tongue for that she delighteth to talke of the word of God A wife that can speake this language is better then she which hath all the tongues But as the open vessels are counted vncleane so also account that the open mouth hath much vncleannesse The fourth signe is the apparell for as the pride of the 〈◊〉 is noted in that he went in purple euery day so also the humilitie of Iohn is noted in that he went in haire-cloth euery day For doubtlesse by a man or a womans apparell excessiue laughter and going they may partly be discerned of what disposition they are It is conuenient that he that will be a suter to a woman marke what apparell she customably vseth to weare whether it be vaine whorish wanton light or comely modest and mannetly and beseeming her estate and condition to wit honest and sober rayment For apparell doth often giue a certaine and sure testimonie of pride lightnesse wantonnesse inconstancie vnshamefastnesse filthinesse or vncleaunesse and other vices or vertues that be either in the man or woman For a modest man or woman are for the most part knowne by their sober attire as the Prophet Eliah was knowne by his rough garment So that we are to looke for no better within then we see without for euery one seemeth better then they be If then the face be vanitie the heart is pride He that biddeth vs abstaine from the shew of euill would haue vs to abstaine from those meanes Husbands or wiues who haue the shewes of euill for it is hard to come in the fashion and not to be in the abuse And therefore the Apostle saith Fashion not your selues like vnto the world as though the fashions of men did declare of what side they are The fift signe is the companie by meanes whereof much may be perceiued For as whole and found eyes with beholding and looking on sore eyes be annoyed and hurt euen so good and honest folkes be oftentimes stayned and hurt with the company of the wicked and vngodly according to the common prouerbe Such like is euery one as the companie is with whom they keepe For birds of a feather will hold together and fellowes in sinne will be fellowes in league euen as young Rehoboam chose yong companions 1. King 12. 8. The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde not the cleane dwell with the leaprous If a man can be knowne by nothing else then he may be known by his companions for like will to like as Salomon saith theeues call one another Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie he said Away from me all ye that worke iniquitie shewing that a man neuer abandoneth euill vntill he abandon euill company for no good is concluded in this parliament Therefore chuse such a companion of thy life as hath chosen companie like thee before For they which chuse such as loued prophane cōpanions before in a short time are drawne to be prophane too The last signe is education which giueth also great testimonie namely by whom and how euery one
of counsell and will betweene the husband and the wife yet such as the counsell and commandement may rest in the husband True it is that some women are wiser and more discreet then their husbands as Abigail the wife of Nabal and others Whereupon Salomon saith A wise woman buildeth vp the house and blessed is the man that hath a discreete wife Yet still a great part of the discretion of such women shall rest in acknowledging their husbands to be their heads and so vsing the graces that they haue receiued of the Lord that their husbands may be honored not contemned either of them or of others which falleth out contratie when the wife will seeme wiser then the husband So that this modestie and gouernment ought to be in a wife namely that she should seldome speake but to her husband or by her husband And as the voice of him that soundeth a trumpet is not so lowd as the sound that it yeeldeth so is the wisedome and word of a woman of greater vertue and efficacie when all that she knoweth and can do is as if it were said and done by her husband The obedience that the wife oweth to her husband dependeth vpon this subiection of her will and wisedome vnto him as 1. Peter 3. 6. Ephesians 5. 33. Ester 1. 12. So that women may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience in matters that may be performed without offence to God neither presume ouer them either in kindred or wealth or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband and contempt wrath and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife If the obedience importeth any difficultie she may for her excuse gently propound the same yet vpon condition to obey in case the husband should persist in his intent so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse For it is better to continue peace by obedience then to breake it by resistance And indeed it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernment of the head Yet must not this obedience so farre extend as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour credit and saluation but as it is comely in the Lord Colos. 3. 16. Ephes. 5. 13. Therefore as it were a monstrous matter and the meanes to ouerthrow the person that the body should in refusing all subiection and obedience to the head take vpon it to guide it selfe and to command the head so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband Let her then beware of disordering and 〈◊〉 the course which God in his wisedome hath established and withall let her vnderstand that going about it she riseth not so much against her husband as against God and that it is her good and honor to obey God in her subiection and obedience to her husband If in the practise of this dutie she find any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband or otherwise let her remember that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lord but through some sin afterward crept in which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the woman should haue enioyed in that estate wherein together with Adam she was created after the Image of God And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him and that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the generation of the holy Ghost the lesse difficultie she shall find in that subiection and obedience as many in their marriage haue in deed tried to their great contentment and consolation Further there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature inclinations and manners of their husbands so long as the same import no wickednesse For as the looking-glasse howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned is nothing worth if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant or the same pleasant that is sad So the woman deserueth no commendation that as it were contrarying her husband when he is merry sheweth herselfe sad or in sadnesse vttereth her mirth For as men should obey the lawes of their Cities so women the manners of their husbands To some women a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence For an honest Matron hath no neede of any greater staffe but of one word or one sowre countenance Moreouer a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband must also loue her house as remembring that the husband that loueth his wife cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestry as to see his wife in his house For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate confoundeth her selfe her husband and family Titus 2. 5. But there are foure reasons why the woman is to go abroad First to come to holy meetings according to the duty of godlinesse The second to visit such as stand in need as the duty of loue and charitie doth require The third for employment and prouision in houshold affaires committed to her charge And lastly with her husband when he shall require her Gen. 20. 1. c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue and passe with their husbands is not so much for that they commit with and in their persons as it is for that they speake with their tongues If the wife would keepe silence when her husband beginneth to chide he should not haue so vnquiet dinners neither she the worse supper Which surely is not so for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe the wife beginneth to scold and chafe whereof doth follow that now and then most vnnaturally they come to handy-gripes more beast-like then Christian-like which their so doing is both a great shame and foule discredit to them both The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband is to be silent obedient peaceable patient studious to appease his choler if he be angry painefull and diligent in looking to her businesse to be solitary and honest The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this duty to their husbands is because they be ignorant of the word of God which teacheth the same and all other duties and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word they can neuer vntill then yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands and behaue themselues so euery way as Christian wiues are in duty bound to do But if wiues be not so dutifull seruiceable and subiect to their husbands as in conscience they ought the onely cause thereof for the most part
is the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they should giue vnto their wiues both in word and deed For as the common saying is such a husband such a wife For so much as marriage maketh of two persons one therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better be kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any wayes or to pride themselues in their gifts but either the one to endeuour to supply the others wants that so they both helping and doing their best together may be one perfect body 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning marriage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in all businesse and affaires Likewise when the one hearkeneth to the other when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other the one of them being alwayes louing kind courteous plaine and gentle vnto the other in words manners and deeds 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all honest things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cānot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them and so from thence-foorth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone And if one of them be angry and offended with the other then let the party grieued open and make knowne vnto the other their griefe in due time and with discretion For the longer a displeasure or euill will rages in secret the worse wil be the discord And this must be obserued that it be done in a fit and conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make great debate And if the wife would go about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then be no fit time to talke with him Therefore Abigail perceiuing Nabal her husband to be drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the manners of the other that they should thereupon forsake the company one of another for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the bony And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly prooued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state and marriage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued Sonnes sake would so blesse them and their marriage that they may so Christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all manner of medicines specially they that go nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very loathsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perillous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in marriage that they haue no need of such a medicine As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 1. 2. Prou. 7. 27 and 22. 14. and 25. 24. and 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue bene deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath bene already said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 2. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9. 10. Luke 8. 2. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9. 36. 39. 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shall find that it speaketh of the praise of as many and mo good women then men Yea and I am perswaded that if at this day a due suruey should be taken of all the men women throughout his Maiesties dominions there would be found in number moe women that are faithfull religious and vertuous then men Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Ephesians 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if he had said wiues cannot be disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that they must regard their husbands will as the Lords will But yec withall as the Lord commandeth that which is good right so she should obey her husband in good and right or else she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne For when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritts ouer thee And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should be subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his maister calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also in token that she should be subiect vnto him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her family this is one namely that she nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them foorth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God Besides it is hurtfull both for the childs body and also for his wit lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much 〈◊〉 thereby First nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her child
euen in their life time to see them go to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination be a great helpe to profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and sharpe them that way yea euen such that by experience we find this old Prouerbe true Vse ouer cometh nature as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber and letting it lie long in that bent it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good seed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase iron weareth with handling the water by continuall dropping weareth the stone wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome are brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wiz most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remēbring that a seale entreth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales baudie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children lest they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old Prouerbe saith halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tye a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation or to learning then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall be religious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God In the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth men to enquire of his or her truth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a maister before they make enquirie of his honestie and Christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When men buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken lest they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie yet do they not sound whether the maister to whom they commit their child be vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some do respect their friendship with some maisters rather then their vertue and so do commit to them their children lest they should be angrie for putting them to another These men do resemble and be like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest liaue any weightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a voyage through some dangerous sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because he is thy friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profit honour safetie and saluation of thy childe Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may either spare or get worldly goods Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure and accustome them to vertue and indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed do far excell such as onely do beget them for of these they 〈◊〉 life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens maisters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and go forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the maisters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The maisters eye fatteth the horse and this The maisters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men and women for their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his houshold to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne 〈◊〉 to serue God with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his houshold Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothie that she nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God and to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they do amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding and abhominable in their doing ignorant and voide of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must be diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honesty themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the yong learneth such a father such a sonne such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours
Elie was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes which is a notable example necessary for all parents to imprint in their hearts that they may see their children well taught and corrected lest they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon thē as it did vpon this Elie who honored his children aboue the Lord and therefore the Lord cut him and them off For the comfort he had of his sonnes was this the Arke the witnesse of the Lords presence was lost thirty thousand of the people slaine his two sonnes Hophni and Phineas killed himselfe when newes thereof came vnto him for sorrow fell backward and brake his necke vpon this his daughter in law fell in trauell and in trauell dyed the remnant of his house were glad to craue and beg for a small peece of siluer and a morsell of bread Also the two and forty children that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet saying Come vp thou Bald-head were rent in peeces with beares Thus we see that children vntaught and vnchastized bring shame and confusion to their parents Let them therefore alwayes remember this that they prouide and bestow diligent labour that their children be foorthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse whilest their wits are yet voide from cares and vices and whilest their age is tender and tractable and their minds flexible and readie to euery thing for then they will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts if they be taught them For this is certaine that we remember nothing so well when we be old as those things we learne in young yeares It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straight way while it is moist to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilest they are new to die and litte the wooll while it is faire and white and not defiled with any spots The Emmets or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes in Sommer whereby they should liue in winter Bees learne not to make their cells to gather iuyce and to make honey but all these things be done by instinction of nature So euery liuing thing the lesse meete it is to learning so much the more it hath of natiue prudence but man neither can eate nor go nor speake except he be taught Then if fertile fields for want of tillage waxe barren if trees being neglected either bring forth no fruite or else the same vnsauourie without diligence or grafting and pruning if dogs be vnmeet to hunt the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto how vile then and vnprofitable creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught his horse well broken his land well husbanded his house goodly trimmed and richly furnished and yet to haue his child shamefully rude in manners and altogether voyd of all garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse What a great folly and madnesse is this for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions and to haue no regard of his child for whom the same is gotten This is no lesse shame to heare then if a man taking thought for the shooe would set nought by the foote or with great care and studie would prouide that there should be no fault in the childes garments not regarding the health of his body This is as the common saying is to be penny wise and pound foolish to saue a sticke and burne a house to saue a ioynt and lose the body But oh vaine man hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne faire buildings and full of lands then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse and so leaue him a vertuous consceince Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him with rust and moth to be consumed then to teach him the knowledge of God which will not canker but last for aye Most parents a pitifull thing to remember be louing to the bodies of their children but their soules they care not for they desire their welfare in this world but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come Yea fathers prouide lands rents reuenues great annuities fees and offices for their children here but alas few prouide or be carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewaile and much Iament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckoning of If they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sinne and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents do carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and so by good meanes admonish and draw them from their sinne As parents be carefull to prouide temporall things for their childrens bodies which are transitory so much more carefull ought they to be to prouide spiritual things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeares of discretion and this is the most acceptable seruice that they can do to God Children are called the fruite of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing foorth good fruite so parents should shew their goodnesse in the good education of their children which are their fruit To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Prou. 22. 6. is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to do it For who should teach and informe the childe but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them and they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparent euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruite beasts to bring vp their young And further this dutie is yet enforced from the opportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grew or sprong vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soyle best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children be not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the
keepe them vnder a seruile or slauish awe subiection by too much feare but rather be a child-like and reuerend feare which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes and children vnto their parents and which both the one and the other easily obtaine at the hands of such as are vnder their gouernment by their equall vpright and modetate behauiour towards them It doth therefore stand parents greatly in hand that in making choise for their children they be free from all sinister and corrupt affection and that for luker and couetousnesse they seeke not to thrust such matches vpon their children as they cannot brooke nor like well of Yea and in this most graue and weightie cause it is a thing earnestly to be wished that all Christian parents would not take this matter and businesse lightly in hand as it were but a toy or a ieast but that they begin it with prayer that in the whole action they may in such sort be directed that they do nothing against the word of God or vnbeseeming the same authoritie the which God himselfe in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them And thus doing God no doubt will adde a blessing vnto their godly endeuour and holy care and worke obedience in the hearts of their children as he framed the heart of Isaack with entire affection to embrace Rebecca whom his father Abraham had by his steward prouided for him Gen. 27. 7. c. The third point that appertaineth to parents is to be themselues examples of all godlinesse and vertuousneste to their children So that they must remember that they themselues do not say or do any thing that is euill or offensiue in the presence of their children For it is certaine that children follow and learne nothing so much and so soone as that which they see their father and mother do or say For the vertue thriuing and prosperitie of children is for the most part wrought by the fathers and mothers good examples and instructions and contrariwise for that which is done by examples the inferiours will thinke they may lawfully do the like As good examples do edifie and vphold so ill examples do destroy and confound For humanity is taught by the law of nature If therefore parents by their example should teach the contrarie what do they else but indeuour to transforme men into beasts beginning first to performe it in their owne children They must be circumspect that their children do not fight and iniurie one another and if they sweare curse lye or speake any bawdie or ribaldous words or sing any 〈◊〉 rimes or vnchristian songs then to reprooue them sharply for it And let all parents alwayes labour that their children may rather feare them for loue and reuerence then for fearé of punishment For children that obey their parents for feare of correction commonly feare them no longer then the stripes endure Before all things it is needfull that parents should shew themselues vnto their children as a manifest patterne or example not onely by not sinning and offending God any wayes but also by liuing godly and by doing all things honestly that so their children may look into their liues and peruse themselues as in a glasse And therefore if parents do giue good examples they shall reape the fruite thereof in the life behauiour manners and prosperitie of their children For children loue and delight to do as their parents did before them All Christian fathers ought to be most carefull in nourishing and maintaining naturall loue and concord amongst the children and family and in no wise to suffer any sparke of hatred to enter into their hearts lest it kindle a fire in their breasts much lesse ought they themselues to cast in coales of discord among them by vnkind or iniurious examples of dealing For the state of a family if it be in due order is like to a frame of ioyning worke or building whereof if some one peece be out of his place it tendeth to the disordering of all the rest and one disorder following another all becommeth out of ioynt and falleth into confusion very dispraiseable So that parents therefore ought to be carefull to maintaine their children in peace concord and amitie for if discord and contention be dangerous and pernicious among all men how much more betweene brethren and sisters Likewise if it be hard quenching of stomacke and debate betweene those that are not enioyned in kindred it is farre more difficult to revnite brethren because enmitie amongst them is mightie and strong like iron-barres to keepe them asunder Neither is there any thing more slipperie or of greater efficacie to subuert a family then dissention among brethren It is an old saying by concord small things do grow but by discord great things come to nought Againe how dangerous it is for parents to shew more loue and affection to one child then to another except vpon iust and great cause the example of lacobs children doth testifie For what was the originall of their enuie and crueltie executed against their brother Ioseph Geneses 37. 3. Moses there saith that Iacob louing Ioseph better then his brethren made him a partie-coloured-coate and thereof they tooke occasion to hate him and to speake roughly vnto him Parents therefore to the end to preuent the like inconueniences are to vse equalitie among their children so neare as may be whether in their ordinary vsage or in the diuision of their goods For as all men naturally are inclined but too much to the loue of earthly goods so the vnequall sharing and diuiding of the same doth oftentimes breede great brawles and pernicious debate betweene brethren and sisters Therefore all fathers and mothers are with great diligence to take heede what they say or do in their houses and that they do not commit any leude or wicked deed whereby their children may be moued to imitate and follow the same neither that they vtter or speake any bawdy or ribaldous words or vse to sweare or lie in their presence for euill speakings or communication saith the Apostle corrupteth good manners Seruants also are to be looked vnto and sharply rebuked if they do commit or shew any leud trickes or vnhonest behauiour in the presence of children either in word deede or gesture For if they be iustly called murtherers that kill the children being new-borne and kill but the bodie how great wickednesse is it then to kill the mindes of children through euill example Deserue not such seruants seuerely to be punished by law thinke you that bewitch young children and hurt their weake bodies with poysons What then do they deserue which corrupt the chiefe parts of Infants with most vngracious venime we meane by filthy talke and leude conuersation of life Yet it is a lighter matter to kill the bodie then the mind and soule Further parents ought to be circumspect and warie that their children do not haunt or vse euill companie nor vse
euen iust with God that seeing they haue offended him in the greatest blessings they should be plagued with the same thing wherein they offended him in the greatest iudgements O you vnnaturall parents the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you in the day of iudgement and condemne you for he being in hell had a care of his fathers house that they might be forewarned and therefore desired Abraham to send Lazarus to his brethren to testifie vnto them that they came not into that place of torment but you will not admonish your children you will not teach them Moses the Prophets and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure hanging ouer their heads and therefore your owne children shall be one of the furies of hell to torment you The Lord open your eyes to foresee and flie these fearefull iudgements But if you will bring them vp well and vertuously they shall be the better for it all their liues after nay the world to come shall reape this benefit for such children as you now bring-vp such parents shall they be after when you are gone and looke what parents you leaue behind you the like children againe shall they reare vp Wherefore ô you parents you are either the making or the marring of the world for if your children learne no good education at your hands how should they be good fathers after you and how should they leaue that to their posteritie by the right of inheritance which they neuer receiued from their ancestors To conclude this point we say once againe Oh ye parents endeauour to go forward in this vertuous education of your children and then no doubt God neither shall nor will hide any necessary secret or instruction from you neither will he with-hold any good blessing from your posteritie so shall ye be fathers of the faithfull as Abraham was if you will haue the same care and practise the same diligence for your children and family that he did Genes 18. 18. 19. and 12. 2. 3. Parents also haue to remember that they shall commit an act very vnnaturall iniurious and vngodly if they should vndeseruedly disinherit their eldest sonne For as nature in all her works for the most part seemeth to make some one thing to be chiefe before all the rest whereby the same is and the rather continueth so reason in the order of a family which is an imitation of a state ciuill or body politicke perswadeth by experience that of necessitie there be one before the rest as chiefe whereby may be conserued that beautie of vnitie and harmonie of concord which the Almightie in his creation so wonderfully and diuersly teacheth and our Sauiour himselfe so carefully and especially commended to his Church And therof seemeth to come that preheminence or more speciall regard which the Law of God in the old Testament appointed to his people the Israelites to be obserued towards the first begotten sonne and likewise somewhat concerning other dumbe creatures which first were brought forth into the world By the ancient law of the Iewes the eldest had double so much as the others of the fathers goods and alone to the eldest pertained the blessing of the father wherewith should seeme alwaies the heritage to go and succeed as is manifest by the will of God in Deut. 21. 15. 16. 17. If a man haue two wiues one loued and another hated and they haue borne him children both the loued and also the hated if the first borne be the sonne of the hated then when the time commeth that he appointeth his sonnes to be heires of that which he hath he may not make the sonne of the beloued first borne before the sonne of the hated which is the first borne but he shall acknowledge the sonne of the hated which is the first borne and giue him double portion of all that he hath for he is the first of his strength and to him belongeth the right of the first borne The Patriarkes and other the seruants of God although by diuine reuelation and other notice of the will of God they were certified that they might marrie many of sundry wiues at one time yet did they exclude from their heritage the prerogatiue of the blessing all the children of those secondarie and after marriages This appeareth in Genes 21. 10. The sonne of the bond-woman shall not be heire with my sonne Isaack yet was he the eldest but was not the sonne of the first marriage nor borne of a free-woman Also an heire is the worke and institution of nature and heritage is due to the sonne of nature therefore it is so due that he must needes haue it seeing those things which come by nature or be naturall are not mutable or to be changed Moreouer this name heire which in a manner with all nations is the eldest is the successor of the law nationall besides the lawes naturall and diuine And that father who maketh another heire then is by the Authorities appointed cannot but expresse himselfe a Rebell in disobeying and contemning so great lawes and authorities beginning a new law of his owne head contrary thereunto Then what is more vniust then to do contrary to all lawes and therewith to disobey the will of God to peruert the due order of descent preferring the second marriage before the first the yonger before the elder the late off-spring before the first begotten so much tendred and respected Now as the greatest iniurie a father can do to his sonne is to disherite him so it it the most reprochfull blot or dammage to suffer the infamie and discredit of disherison For if the eldest sonne be worthy to be disherited in his fathers house he may be thought not worrhy to draw breath out of it for that he ought to be conuinced faulty in those crimes and hainous offences which be either repugnant to the duty of a child or not meete for the profession of a Christian. Namely if he strike or offer violence to his father if he oppresse him with some great wrong if he seeke his death or destruction by poysoning or otherwise if he lie with his fathers wife if he will not suffer his father to make his will if he be not of the true and Catholicke faith but is conuinced to be an heriticke whereby his life and heritage is in hazard Or if he refuse to succour and deliuer his father out of prison by his surety-ship or if he follow the trade and companie of such persons as in the law be counted infamous vile and most dishonest as Iuglers Sorcerers Coniurers Theeues Cozeners and Pyrates Or if he be an idiot a mad-man a naturall or lunaticke person Or if the father offering him a meete marriage vnder fiue and twentie yeares he refuse it and delight to liue continually in whoredome and filthy order of life These and such like be the causes that the Ciuill or Ecclesiasticall lawes do assigne The