SIDROPHEL VAPVLANS OR THE Quack-Astrologer Toss'd in a BLANKET By the AUTHOR of Medicaster Medicatus In an Epistle to W m S n. With a Postscript Reflecting briefly on his late Scurrilous Libel against the Royal College of Physicians Entituled A Rebuke to the Authors of a Blue Book By the same Hand Astrologi Genus hominum potentibus infidum sperantibus fallax Tacit. Hist lib. 1. By these Fables Astrologers Live Cheat and Get Money Indeed no Generation of Men are more Pernicious to a Commonwealth C. Agrippa There are more Empirical Impostors more Idiots Illiterate Cheats pretending to Astrology in this your Royal City than of any other sort not only Seducing but Ruining many of your Majesty's poor Subjects Dr. Ramsey 's Ded. of his Tract de Ven. 1661. LONDON Printed and Sold by John Nutt near Stationers-Hall 1699. To the Honourable and Learned COLLEGE of PHYSICIANS and Worshipful SOCIETY of SURGEONS London Learned and Wortly Gentlemen HEalth is not only the Felicity and Interest of every individual Man in a Body Politick but of the whole Community because Diseases and Hurts by disabling Private Persons from Publick Service do weaken and infeeble the Common-wealth It 's therefore a great wonder that in this Age of Regulation and Amendment nothing is done to rectifie the notorious Abuses and secure us from the Mischief done by those Men who without Skill or Authority under pretence of restoring and conserving do destroy Mens Lives and Estates and more especially at such a time when the Nation is in need of both for its Defence and Preservation Reformation is a Name we are very fond of and a Work we seem to be alway doing But when will it be done We have lately gained a new Law to secure Apothecaries from being Scavengers Is there not more need of one to keep Shooemakers from turning Doctors and Moon-Prophets What else means the bleating of those Sheep in our Ears If the Body Politick consist of many Natural ones the Conservation of the one is the Maintenance of the other and that 's beyond a Cobler's Last Why then should Impudent Ignorant Quacks and Empiricks Smiths Weavers 3 Hen. 8. c. 11. Coblers Draymen Women c. boldly and accustomably take upon them great Cures and Things of great Difficulty In the which thy partly use Sorcery and Witchcraft partly apply such Medicines unto the Disease as be very noyous and nothing meet therefore to the high Displeasure of God great Infamy to the Faculty and the grievous Hurt Damage and Destruction of many of the King's Liege People most especially of them that cannot discern the uncunning from the cunning And yet notwithstanding this Publick Declaration by a Statute Law of this Nation these Impostors as if they were Paramount to all Law Superior to the Supreme or Tyrants cum Privilegio do with Impunity Defraud Men not only of Health and Wealth but Limb and Life too And this not only in the Country but in our Metropolis in the Face of the Government and of You whose Province it is if any Bodies to Suppress such Pernicious and Destructive Vermin Gentlemen It plainly appears by Several Statute Laws of the Kingdom and the Royal Grants of Kings and Queens of England that you do not want sufficient Authority for this Good Work and I am sure you cannot want Skill and Learning enough to Alarm the Nation against them to Baffle and Expose them to the World in their true Colours that People may see in what Hands they trust their Lives It 's your Duty and your Interest so to do It 's a Noble Work to remove those Nuisances though the Subject of your Censure be vile as the Person is whom I have now in hand yet the Undertaking is Generous and worthy of You. Hercules thought it a besitting Labour to cleanse Augeas's Stables Justice is not disparaged by Sentencing the vilest Malefactor to the Gallows The Good atchieved to the Publick by any Act hallows it And thus may present Undertaking becomes worthy of your Patronage and Imitation and I presume to crave both For beside the Common Injury Empiricks do to Mankind in general they have a particular spight against you which they spare not to discover on all occasions Culpeper in one Breath Sentenced a whole College of your most Learned Predecessors and King James their Patron to the Devil And this his Zany not only commends but imitates him affronting you to the Queen in a Dedication of that Book wherein he abuseth me to the Reader and in many other Rude Libels I am therefore obliged to him for giving me such good Company and shall be quit with him anon He hath indeed a peculiar Merit in him which ought to be regarded he is an Astrologer as well as an Empirick and that 's a Composition which Poysons both Body and Soul cheats Men not only of their Money and Health but of their Loyalty too whereby he becomes obnoxious to the Government more ways than one and ought to be Chastised by them with a Whip in the House of Correction as well as by us in the Press These Astrological Quacks do not only Reproach Libel and Rail at you but Usurp your Office contrary to Law taking upon them to Reform the Settled Rules Methods and Medicaments and give Encouragement to all sorts of Empiricks and Quack-salvers So that the Faculty is in danger of being overthrown and the Nation subjected to all those inconveniences which the want of Able Physicians and the multiplying Cheating Mountebanks can introduce I know what I am to expect from these Men for giving them this Disturbance it 's like stirring a Nest of Wasps and accordingly I expect all the Mountebanks and Astrologers in the Nation will fall on me for they like Swine if you take one by the Ears the whole Herd will squeal and gruntle at him who doth it He that tosseth a Whelp in a Blanket must expect much noise and a filthy stink And of this I am the more assured because the fear of it only hath made this Hocus extract the Quintescence or Powers of Billingsgate and Bedlam and throw it in my Face But these Foresights do not discourage nor damp me at all If I serve Truth and the Publick I gain my Point let the Quacks and Astrological Impostors Rail on and fling Dirt as fast as they can If I but continue in the Favour and Reputation I am Honour'd with by you none of it will stick upon Your most Humble Servant James Younge TO THE READER YOU cannot but think me induced by some very extraordinary Motive to so mean an Employment as that of Censuring an Author so Futile and a Book so Contemptible as an Astrologer and his Almanack But no meanness of Person or Book ought to exempt him or them from Chastisement when faulty And that he whom I have taken to task is highly such will appear in the following Examen where beside the Mischief this sort of Men do the Nation
Provocation I had said no more of them In the List I hinted of that sort of Cattle he could pick out but three to vindicate by which he allows my Censure of the rest And I 'll prove that these select Friends of his are not the best in the Pack Or as bad as the worst of them whom he left to themselves Culpeper was an Impudent Quack Astrologer and a Rebel He Libelled the learned King James and that most Pious Prince and Martyr his Son and damn'd them both to Hell together with the whole College who Compiled the London Dispensatory Among whom were our Immortal Harvey Glisson Jordan Mayern c. Men of more Worth and Learning than all the Quack Astrologers in Europe These famous Worthies are by Sidrophel's Honest Culpeper treated as if they were like them Scounderils Dispensatory Ed. 1652. on Man Christi and pernicious Vermin In one Page he calls them Lubbers Blasphemous Vnskilful Dishonest Impudent in Sin Sodomites Idolaters Ranters Men that Worship'd Old Jemmy for God and his Son for Christ But their Tutelar Gods quoth he being apud inferos gives me some hope they will follow them quickly and so all the Tyrants go together Thus inhumanly and in a fashion as far from Honesty and Christianity as it was from Charity or good Manners doth this Wretch celebrated by Sidrophel treat the Sacred and Pious Memories of the most Learned and best of Men and most uncharitably and wickedly Sentence their Souls to no less than Eternal Flames a piece of Impudence never to be parallell'd but by Sidrophel himself But you shall have another Evidence of Culpeper's Honesty given to the World by W. Prynne who was one of the most active Instruments to promote the Rebellion against King Charles the Martyr and a violent Enemy to the Protestant Episcopal Fathers not sparing the Pious and Learned Bishop Vsher He tells us That those two Jesuitical Prognosticators Lilly True and perfect Narrative c. p. 60. and Culpeper were so confident A. D. 1652. of the total Subversion of the Law and Gospel Ministry That in their Scurrilous Prognostications they Predicted the Downfal of both And in January 1654. They Foretold that the Law should be pulled down to the ground the great Charter and all our Liberties destroyed as not suiting with English Men in these Blessed Times That the Crab-Tree of the Law should be pulled up by the Roots and grow no more There being no reason we should now be governed by them A. D. 1652. Sidrophel's Honest Culpeper Published a Libel called Catastrophe Magnatum containing Treason enough to hang all the Empiricks and Astrologers in the three Kingdoms Railing at the Crown Mitre and Long Robe inveighing against the Law and Lawful Government of England predicting the utter Subversion of it both in Church and State Praising and Extolling the Villanies of those Execrable Traytors and Barbarous Regicides who stand proscribed in our Statutes and in our Laws declared to be Sons of Belial 12 Car. 2.30 Men hardened in Impiety neither true Subjects nor true Christians And so much for the honesty of Sidrophel's admired Culpeper As to his other two Brethren whom he defends and applauds you shall have their Character too by and bye as they come in my way My Name he thinks not worthy to live in his Work and I thank him for it I had rather have it in an House of Office than his Confectioners Shop Had he used it any other way than he doth he had injured me it being better to be reviled with the College than praised among such infamous Fellows as Culpeper Thomson c. And more Reputation to be ill spoken of than commended by such a Scandalous Plagiary whose good word can be no Credit to any Man on whom he bestows it I am alive quoth angry Sidrophel to castigate his Insolence at least to trample upon his Contumelies which I shall do by slighting his Ignorance and Malice and not resenting the Injury Here 's another touch at Irish And such a Teague-land Blunder-buss as the former What Dear Joy Castigate his Insolence and trample upon his Contumelies without resenting the Injury What! Slight his Contumelies and yet all the while scold like any Fish-woman at Bilingsgate at the Author of them These things don't consist unless he wisely thinks a Man may be in a Rage without Anger Beat an Enemy without taking any notice of him Revile and Quarrel in pure Love Or to use his own Words Castigate Insolence and trample on Contumelies by slighting them He hath no luck at all at Satyr Therefore good Sir if you can't persuade him to leave off Translating This I desire may be observed by such as mistake his Rant for good Satyr especially a little Glysterpipe Fellow who lives within a mile of the Gallows and is to die within a Ropes length on 't i. e. Cobling Physick Books and Scribling Almanacks his two chief Talents yet beg him to desist from Satyr for he can make none but on himself He hath here attempted to be Satyrical on me but you see he is like one who spits into the Sky it rebounds on his own Face They say a little Wit and a great deal of ill Nature make a good Satyrist He hath enough of the latter but he wants even that Modicum of the former to compleat him He is but an Infant Satyr he hath Nails but no Teeth He can scratch but can't bite In short he is a Scold not a Satyr A Zoilus or a Momus not a Juvenal or a Persius I but besides himself and his dear Father Culpeper the Silly Wretch and Impertinent Fool that wrote Medicaster Medicatus hath assaulted the Reputation of the Learned Dr. Thomson and Worthy Ingenious Dr. G. Harvey Both which had more Learning in their Little Fingers than that Conceited Impertinent hath in his whole nasty Body and that provoketh him to piss upon the Puppy Pray take notice Sir how he scorns to resent the Injury my Book did his Party Observe with what Civility Calmness and Polisht Manners he acts the Philosopher or the Christian under all the Affronts I put upon him and his Friends See how Meekly he turns the other Cheek and gives me his Cloak also Poor Saint I pity him that he so soon discovers himself to be quite contrary to his Pretensions and after all his Meekness Patience and Passive Valour rails and throws about him like a Thrasher or Kettle-Drummer Ay but his two Darling Friends were affronted by me and that transported him nothing else would have moved his Ire and stirred up his Wrath against me I confess I do not wonder at his fond Concern for his two learned Friends because I know them cast in one Mold They are Birds of a Feather Thomson I shall say the less of because he is dead And because while living he was sufficiently proved to be no Doctor but an Illiterate Dunce by one of the most Learned Physicians of the
richer than he went out Pray ask that Lying Astrologer who so often writes as if Conscience and Religion not Debt and Beggary drove him thither whether it was not he that raised so many Devils as during his abode there and since have possest the choicest Saints in New-England To conclude All that pack of Fools and Knaves who pretend by Judicial Astrology to foresee good and bad fortune to hit opportunities and nick lucky minutes for making things happy confute themselves being for the most part hated scandalous little needy fellows the very abjects of that fortune whose favours they pretend to foresee and manage 9. Astrology cannot be true because Men born at one time and in one Horoscope and Constellation meet divers often contrary Fates Kings and Slaves Lords and Beggars have been born in one minute Twins begotten at one Coition and yet of different * See many singular Instances of the different Fates and Dispositions of many famous Twins in Mr. Chambers p. 53. c. Dr. More 's Myst Iniq. p. 357. Heyden p. 252. Sexes Humours and Fortunes Of Seed thrown into the Ground in one moment some have taken root some been eaten by Birds and Worms and some proved fruitless A Man born at once by the Rules of Astrology should die all together But contrariwise some Men survive their Ears Noses Hands Feet Legs and Arms many Years Nor is it so in Genethliacs only but in Judicial and Horary Astrology also Ships commencing Voyages in one minute and Mens Journeys in one moment have had different success If two Men or more about to fight a Duel or run a Race come in one moment to enquire of the Astrologer their success by the Rules of that Art both must win or lose conquer or be conquered because they both put the Question together So if two or three Men ride or run a Race and in one moment start forth if Astrology were true they must both win or both lose which cannot be 10. The death of Multitudes of Men in one minute some in one moment in one place by one cause cannot happen by the Rules of Astrology Because the Stars never concur to such an Identical Fate in so many thousand Nativities Sir W. Raleigh p. 153. as theirs who fell in the Battel between Semiramis and Stourobates where Four Millions were slain on one side besides the many Thousands which fell on the other The Army of Xerxes when they pass'd the Hellespont consisted of Seventeen Hundred Thousand Men Idem l. 3. cap. 6. the greater part of which fell in the Battels of Platea and Mycale In the Scripture we read of 320000 slain at one time Joshua cap. 11. Chron. 2.16 on one side and 500000 at another beside the many who perished on the side of the Vanquishers 180000 Assyrians died by the hand of an Angel at one time in the days of Hezekiah Are these things accountable by the Rules of Genethliacal Astrology If the small distance that might be between their Fates be an Evasion What think you of vaster numbers who have perished together in a moment by one accident The Hundreds blown up with Opdam the Thousands swallowed by the Earth with Corah c. in the Wilderness and of late in Jamaica Sicilia c. or the Inundations of Deucalion Holland c. or the Flood of Noah Can their Fates be found Predicted by so long a Conspiracy of the Stars as must be in the many days in which those Multitudes of Nations were born Can the different Births of so many Myriads of Men have in the compass of an Hundred Years such conspiring Horoscopes as shall determine them all to one sort of Death and puncto of dying Can the Heaven for so many millions of minutes as these Multitudes were Born in have so constant and agreeable an Aspect Dr. More 's Myst p. 357. as there must be if Astrology be true to determine the Fate of such infinite Numbers to the same Numerical time and Identical manner of Death I call them infinite Numbers believing with Sir Tho. Brown Pseud Ep. l. 6. c 6. that the World was then as full of People as now 11. If the Stars Influence or Coelestial Constellations beget such Accidents as occur on Earth How comes it that when the like Horoscopes recurr as were at the Genesis of Alexander Caesar or Judas Men most famous for Piety Art Valour Poetry c. or infamous for Wickedness have not been again produced 12. If Human Actions be directed by the Stars Whence is it that National Customs of Food Cloathes Religion Marriages Diseases Languages Laws Tempers Colours Constitutions c. come to be peculiar and constant to each Kingdom when the Influence of Heaven on them is so various The Heavens change but the People do not The People of the greatest part of the Earth are black the Wind blows constantly one way for Eleven Months of the Year and the Weather during that time Serene without Rain or Storms And in that Month varieth with Tempests and great Showers or Floods from the Sky This cannot be from the Stars 13. The Astronomancers talk much of the untimely death of Picus and other Writers against their Art as if it were a Revenge the Stars took on such as derogated from their Dominion But have they not as much Power to Prevent as to Revenge such Injuries done their Sovereignties If all our Actions or those only of Importance be directed by the Stars Is it not absurd to suppose they should inspire so many great Fathers Philosophers Divines and the most Learned Men the World hath owned with Disposition or Ability to write against them and single out one or two of them to punish and suffer so many others who have as much or more affronted their Deities to escape and prosper 14. The Exclamations made by Men Great Learned and Good some of which have studied your Art to the bottom gives great reason to think it Fallacious and Wicked St. Augustin Calvin Perkins Briggs Heminga Dr. Humes Angelis and other Divines Picus Mirandula J. Scaliger C. Agrippa Mr. Freke and many Philosophers who were Famous Astrologers call it Fallacious Fabulous Ridiculous and Vain and its Professors Cheats Impious Factious and Dangerous in a Commonwealth Beside Multitudes of the most Famous Men of all Learned Professions who have decryed it as a Delusion and exposed the Vanity Falsity and Wickedness of such as pretend to Prognosticate by it Among the Fathers not one of them was for it but Origen Tertullian said that it was invented by the Devil and he banish'd Heaven for it St. Ambrose calls it wicked and vain St. Basil St. Jerom and Epiphanius call it foolish Madness invented by Satan So doth St. Cyprian St. Chrysostom Eusebius Lactantius St. Gregory and almost all the Fathers wrote against it Aquinas calls it a Devilish Art Luther Junius Melancton P. Martyr Gualterus Willit Causin B. Charlton M. Chambers Mr. Purchas Bishop Taylor
them all Plutarch Tacitus Suetonius c. say that Otho was induced to the Murther of Galba by the Astrologers Magomaâ—â—â— 346. who told him he was to succeed him in the Imperial Throne And by the same way Stephanus was prompted to Assassinate Domitian Cambysis was Murthered by two Astrologers Plutarch Alcibiades to obtain his Ambitious aim suborned them to encourage the Athenians to a fatal War with Sicily Many Astrologers combined to dethrone Valens and set up Theodorus a Pagan Wieri praestig c. 10. p. 2â— by pretending they found his Name prenoted by the Stars but the Emperor not only slew those Trayterous Diviners but as the Historians say all those whose Names began with Theod. that he might be sure to baffle their Prediction By such Men and encouragement from the Stars it was that Valentinian the Younger was murthered Libo Densius encouraged by Firmius Catus to make Insurrection against Tiberius in confidence of success by Astrological Prediction was defeated and then slew himself and such was the Foundation of Catiline's Conspiracy The Story of Caracalla is very famous He while in Mesopotamia being Jealous of a Plot against him sent to the Roman Astrologers to be informed They accused Macrinus his faithful Praefect of a Conspiracy which nothing but his Death could frustrate This Answer coming while the Emperor was intent on some sport 〈◊〉 gave it Macrinus to read and he finding his innocent Life in danger by this trick of the Astrologers secured it by the murther of Caracalla of which he had not thought before Such Diviners had assured the Wife of Pheroras that the Line of Herod would extinguish Joseph Antiq. lib. 17. cap. 3. and her Husband succeed to the Crown They to assist their Stars and work out their own good Fortune conspired against the King's Life and lost all their own by the stroke of Justice Mahomet the III. had a Rebellion raised against him by the Astrologers Purchas Pilgr p. 276. Predicting that his Son should overcome and succeed him But all proved false and the Son Astrologers and Rebels were slain The D. of Visco was by the Astrologers assured of his having the Crown of Portugal after the Death of Don Juan el Grandes But impatient of gaining it he Rebelled against him a first time and was both Defeated and Pardoned Upon a second Attempt he fell by the Hand he would have untimely ruined Essay 11. lib. 1 M. Montaigne tells us that the Marquess of Saluza the French General in Piedmont in the Days of Francis the First having all imaginable Advantage against the Enemy was notwithstanding so terrified by the Astrologers who had Predicted the Success of Charles the Fifth and the Ruin of France that he basely Revolted to his own perpetual Infamy and Ruin We will leave Foreign Instances of the mischief done by Astrologers to Princes and Kingdoms and now take a view of what hath been wrought by them in our own Country so long famous for giving Credit to such Heathenish false Prophets as will appear by the following History The Scots have been often thus betrayed into Rebellion Speed p. 672. and the Murther of Kings The Earl of Athol was prompted to Conspire against James I. by their assuring him that he should be Crowned in that Kingdom and true it was for the King understanding what instigated him to Rebel he caused a Crown of red hot Iron to be put on his Head by which and some other Tortures he ended his wretched Life Fuller's Worthies of Wales p. 19. The Welch have a Saying published by one of them that beside God there is no Diviner and yet so far pursued their hard Fate that by the Instigations of those Astrological Boutefeaus who had possess'd Prince Leolin that He should wear the Crown of Brutus he first refused to attend the Coronation of Edward I. then Rebell'd against him and Invaded England but was Vanquish'd and Slain His whole Family extirpated His Title annexed to the Crown of England and the Welch subjected to its Laws ever since Afterward in the Days of Henry IV. Owen Glyn Dower Dwy became inveigled by a Prophecy of Merlin's Dr. Powel's Hist p. 386. whose Name Lilly and Partridge affect that the time was come wherein the Britains by his Assistance should recover their Ancient Freedom and Liberty Rebelled made War and were overthrown and curbed by such Laws as Dr. Fuller compares to those of Draco written in Blood In our part of this Isle we find Peter Pomfret attempted to raise a Commotion against King John by buzzing into the Peoples Ears certain Prophecies from the Stars And in the Reign of Edward VI. by the same Device Fox's Acts and Monuments in â—d 6. the People were made believe That there should no more Kings Reign in England That all the Nobility should be destroyed and the Government fall into the Hands of four Commoners A Prophecy much like that of Sidrophel's but express'd in plainer English Upon which they Rebelled in Devonshire Oxford Buckingham Norfolk and York to the great hazard of the unsettled Kingdom and Protestant Religion then as young and weak as the Prince who was Head of both In the Reign of his Famous Sister and Successor Sir W Churchill's Div. Brit. p. 313. Q. Elizabeth they played the same Part with her for the Papists deluded by Astrological Predictions of her short Reign were easily drawn into many desperate Conspiracies against Her to the great Peril of that Renowned Life and Government How accessary they were to that grand Rebellion against Charles the Martyr to the great Detriment and eternal Scandal of the Protestant Religion as the Statue 12 Car. 2.30 most sensibly expresseth it appeared by the Almanacks and other Fire-brand Libels published and scattered about the Nation by those two great Incendiaries Lilly and Culpeper After the Restauration of his Son they continued to Plot against the Government upon the same bottom For if we may believe the Narratives of Dugdale and Smith Page 26. the Astrologers having told the Jesuits that King Charles would outlive his Brother they resolved to cross the Stars and cut him off that the Duke might Succeed to effect their long projected Design of introducing Popery and hence sprang that Plot which caused so much noise and fear to this divided Kingdom The History of the late unhappy Duke of Monmouth shews how much he was seduced by this wicked Art and instigated to that Rebellion which ruined him and endangered the wellfare of us all How much the like Design hath been agitated since by the like Men I have sufficiently shown Tacit Ann. 12. lib. 2. Dion in vit Dom. Vlpian de Offic. Proc. lib. 7. Sueton lib. 9. C. Agrip. van c. 31. Dr. Cave Eccl. Introd p. 22. Indeed in all Ages and most Nations they have been so pernicious to the common Wellfare that as I have proved they were often driven out of Rome and Italy in