so Ioyed at her death inhumane slaue to do so Exchang'd her loue for a base strumpets lust Foule wretch accursed villaine to exchange so Mis. Ar. You are wise and blest and happie to repent so But what became of him and his new wife Yong Ar. O heare the iustice of the highest heauen This strumpet in reward of all his loue Pursues him for the death of his first wife And now the wofull husband languisheth Flies vpon pursu'd by her fierce hate And now too late he doth repent her sinne Readie to perish in his owne dispaire Hauing no meanes but death to rid his care Mis. Ar. I can indure no more but I must weepe My blabbing teares cannot my counsell keepe Yong Ar. Why weep you Mistris if you had the heart Of her whom you resemble in your face But she is dead and for her death The spunge of either eye Shall weepe red teares till euerie vaine is drie Mis. Ar. Why weep you friend your rainie drops keepe Repentance wipes away the drops of sin Yet tell me friend he did exceeding ill A wife that lou'd and honour'd him to kill Yet say one like her farre more chaste then faire Bids him be of good comfort not despaire Her soule 's appeasd with her repentant teares Wishing he may suruiue her many yeares Faine would I giue him mony to supply His present wants but fearing he should flie And getting ouer to some forrain shore These rainy eyes should neuer see him more My hart is full I can no longer stay But what I am my loue must needs bewray Farewell good fellow and take this to spend Say one like her commends her to your friend Exit Yong Ar. No friend of mine I was my owne soules foe To murther my chast wife that lou'd me so In life she lou'd me dearer then her life What husband here but would wish such a wife I heare the Officers with hue and crie She sau'd my life but now and now I die And welcome death I will not stir from hence Death I deseru'd I le die for this offence Enter Brabo with Officers Splay and Hugh Bra. Here is the murtherer and Reasons man You haue the warrant Sirs laie hands on him Attach the slaue and lead him bound to death Hu. No by my faith M. Brabo you haue the better hart at least you should haue I am sure you haue more Iron and steele then I haue do you laie hands vpon him I promise you I dare not Bra. Constables forward forward Officers I will not thrust my finger in the fire Laie hands on him I say why step you backe I meane to be the hindmost least that any Should runne away and leaue the rest in perill Stand forward are you not asham'd to feare Yon. Ar. Nay neuer striue behold I yeeld my selfe I must commend your resolution That being so many and so weapond Dare not aduenture on a man vnarmd Now lead me to what prison you thinke best Yet vse me well I am a Gentleman Hue. Truly M. Arthur we will vse you as well as heart can thinke the Iustices sit to day and my Mistris is chiefe you shall commaund me Bra. What hath he yeelded if he had withstood vs This Curtelax of mine had cleft his head Resist he durst not when he once spied me Come lead him hence how likest thou this sweet witch This fellowes death will make our mistris is rich Splay I say I care not whose dead or aliue So by their liues or deaths we two may thriue Hue. Come beare him away Enter Iustice Reason old Arthur old Lusam. Iust. Old M. Arthur and M. Lusam so it is that I haue heard both your complaints but vnderstood neither for you know Legere non intelligere negligere est Old Ar. I come for fauour as a father should Pittying the fall and ruine of his sonne Old Lus. I come for iustice as a father should That hath by violent murder lost his daughter Iust. You come for fauour and you come for iustice Iustice with fauour is not partiall And vsing that I hope to please you both Old Ar. Good M. Iustice thinke vpon my sonne Old Lus. Good M. Iustice thinke vpon my daughter Iust. Why so I do I thinke vpon them both But can do neither of you good For he that liues must die and she that 's dead Cannot be reuiued Old Ar. Lusam thou seekst to rob me of my sonne my onely sonne Old Lus. Hee robd mee of my daughter my onely daughter Iust. And robbers are flat fellons by the law Old Ar. Lusam I say thou art a blood-sucker A tyrant a remorslesse Caniball Old as I am I le proue it on thy bones Old Lu. Am I a blood-sucker or Caniball Am I a tyrant that do thirst for blood Old Ar. I if thou seekst the ruine of my sonne Thou art a tyrant and a blood-sucker Old Lu. I if I seeke the ruine of thy sonne I am indeed Old Ar. Nay more thou art a dotard And in the right of my accursed sonne I chalendge thee the field meet me I say To morrow morning besides Islington And bring thy sword buckler if thou darst Old Lu. Meet thee with my sword buckler there 's my gloue I le meet thee to reuenge my daughters death Callst thou me dotard though these threescore yeares I neuer handled weapon but a knife To cut my meate yet wil I meet thee there Gods pretious call me dotard Old Arthur I haue cause Iust cause to call thee dotard haue I not Old Lu. Nay that 's another matter haue you cause Then God forbid that I should take exceptions To be cald dotard of one that hath cause Iust. My Maisters you must leaue this quarrelling for quarrellers are neuer at peace and mē of peace while they are at quiet are neuer quarrelling so you whilst you fall into brawles you cannot chuse but Iar Here comes your sonne accused your wife the accuser stand forth both Hugh be readie with your pen and Inke to take their examinations and confessions Enter Mary Splay Brabo yong Arthur Hue and Officers Yong Ar. It shall not need I do confesse the deed Of which this woman here accuseth me I poisoned my first wife and for that deed I yeeld me to the mercie of the lawe Old Lus. Villaine thou meanst my onely daughter And in her death depriuedst me of all ioyes Yong Ar. I meane her I do confesse the deed And though my bodie taste the force of Lawe Like an offender on my knee I begges Your angrie soule will pardon me her death Old Lus. Nay if he kneeling do confesse the deed No reason but I should forgiue her death Iust. But so the law must not be satisfied Bloud must haue bloud and men must haue death I thinke that cannot be dispenc'd withall Ma. If all the world else would forgiue the deed Yet would I earnestly pursue the law Yong Ar. I had a wife would not haue vsde me so
The wealth of Europe could not hire her tongue To be offensiue to my patient eares But in exchanging her I did preferre A diuell before a Saint night before day Hell before heauen and drosse before tried gold Neuer was bargaine with such dammage sold Bra. If you want witnesse to confirme the deed I heard him speake it and that to his face Before this presence I will iustifie I will not part hence till I see him swing Splay I heard him too pittie but he should die And like a murderer be sent to hell To poyson her and make her belly swell Ma. Why stay you then giue iudgement on the slaue Whose shamelesse life deserues a shamefull graue Yong Ar. Deaths bitter pangs are not so full of griefe As this vnkindnesse euery word thou speakst Is a sharpe dagger thrust quite through my heart As little I deserue this at thy hands As my kinde patient wife deseru'd of me I was her torment God hath made thee mine Then wherefore at iust plagues should I repine Iust. Where didst thou buy this poison for such drugs Are felonie for any man to sell Yong Ar. I had the poison of Aminadab But innocent man he was not accessarie To my wifes death I cleare him of the deed Iust. No matter fetch him fetch him bring him To answere to this matter at the barre Hue take these Officers and apprehend him Bar. I le aide him too the schoolemaister I see Perhaps may hang with him for companie Enter Anselme and Fuller Ans. This is the day of Arthurs examination And triall for the murder of his wife Le ts heare how Iustice Reason will proceed In censuring of his strickt punishment Ful. Anselme content le ts thrust in among the throng Enter Aminadab brought in with Officers Ami. O Domine what meane these knaues To lead me thus with bills and glaues O what example would it bee To all my pupills for to see To tread their steps all after me If for some fault I hanged be Somewhat surely I shall marre If you bring me to the barre But peace betake thee to thy wits For yonder Iustice Reason sits Iust. Sir Dad Sir Dab here 's one accuseth you To giue him poison being ill imploied Speak how in this case you can cleare your selfe Ami. Hei mihi what shuld I say the poison giuē I denay He tooke it perforce frō my hands and domine why not I Got it of a gentleman he most freely gaue it Aske he knew me a meanes was only to haue it Yong Ar. T is true I tooke it from this man perforce And snatcht it from his hand by rude constraint Which proues him in this act not culpable Iust. I but who sold the poison vnto him That must be likewise knowne speake schoole-maister Ami. A man verbosus that was a fine generosus He was a great guller his name I take to be Fuller See where he stands that vnto my hands conueyed a powder And like a knaue sen her to her graue obscurely to shroud her Iust. Laie hands on him are you a poison seller Bring him before vs sirra what say you Sold you a poison to this honest man Ful. I sold no poison but I gaue him one To kill his Rats Iust. Ha ha I smell a Rat You sold him poison then to kill his Rats The word to kill argues a murdrous mind And you are brought in compasse of the murder So set him by we will not heare him speake That Arthur Fuller and the schoole-maister Shall by the Iudges be examined Ans. Sir if my friend may not speak for himself Yet let me his proceedings iustifie Iust. What 's he that will a murther iustifie Lay hands on him laie hands on him I say For iustifiers are all accessaries And accessaries haue deseru'd to die A way with him we will not heare him speake They all shall to the high Commissioners Enter Mistris Arthur Mis. Ar. Nay stay them stay them yet a little while I bring a warrant to the contrary And I will please all parties presently Yong Ar. I thinke my wiues ghost haunts me to my death Wretch that I was to shorten her liues breath Old Ar. Whom do I see my sonnes wife Old Lus. What my daughter Iust. Is it not Mistris Arthur that we see That long since buried we supposde to bee Mis. Ar. This man is cōdemd for poysoning of his wife His poysoned wife yet liues and I am she And therefore iustly I release his bands This man for suffring him these drugs to take Is likewise bound release him for my sake This gentleman that first the poyson gaue And this his friend to be releasd I craue Murther there cannot be where none is kild Her blood is sau'd whom you suppos'd was spild Father in law I giue you here your sonne The act 's to do which you suppos'd was donne And father now ioy in your daughters life Whom heauen hath still kept to be Arthurs wife Old Ar. O welcome welcome daughter now I see God by his power hath preserued thee Old Lu. And t is my wench whom I suppos'd was dead My ioy reuiues and my sad woe is fled Yong Ar. I know not what I am nor where I am My soules transported to an extasie For hope and ioy confound my memorie Ma. What do I see liues Arthurs wife againe Nay then I labour for his death in vaine Bra. What seeret force did in nature lurke That in her soule the poyson would not worke Splay How can it be the poysan tooke no force She liues with that which wold haue kild a horse Mis. Ar. Nay shun me not be not asham'd at all To heauen not me for grace and pardon fall Looke on me Arthur blush not at my wrongs Yong Ar. Stil feare hope my grief woe prolongs But tell me by what power thou didst suruiue with my own hands I temperd that vild draught That sent thee breathles to thy grandsires graue If that were poyson I receiu'd from him Ami. That ego nescio but this dram Receiu'd I of this gentleman The colour was to kill my Rats But t was my owne life to dispatch Ful. Is it euen so then this ambiguous doubt No man can better then my selfe decide That compound powder was of Poppie made and Mandrakes Of purpose to cast one into a sleepe To ease the deadly paine of him whose legge Should be sawd off that powder gaue I to the school maister Ami. And that same powder euen that idem You tooke from me the same per sidem Yong Ar. And that same powder I comixt with wine Our godly knot of wedlock to vntwine Old Ar. But daughter who did take thee from thy graue Old Lu. Discourse it daughter Ans. Nay that labour saue Pardon me M. Arthur I will now Confesse the former frailtie of my loue Your modest wife with words I tempted oft But neither ill I could report of you Nor any good I could forge for my selfe Would winne her to attend to my request Nay after death I lou'd her in so much That to the vault where she was buried My constant loue did lead me thorow the darke There readie to haue tane my last farewell The parting kisse I gaue her I felt warme Briefly I bare her to my mothers house Where she hath since liu'd the most chast true That since the worlds creation eye did view Yong Ar. My first wife stand you here my second there And in the midst my selfe he that will chuse A good wife from a bad come other of me That haue tried both in wealth and miserie A good wife will be carefull of her fame Her husbands credit and her owne good name And such art thou A bad wife will respect Her pride her lust and her good name neglect And such art thou A good wife will be still Industrious apt to do her husbands will But a bad wife crosse spightfull and madding Neuer keep home but alwaies be a gadding And such art thou A good wife will conceale Her husbands dangers and nothing reueale That may procure him harme and such art thou But a bad wife corrupts chast wedlock 's vow On this hand vertue and on this hand sinne This who would striue to loose or this to winne Here liues perpetuall ioy here burning woe Now husbands choose on which hand you will goe Seeke vertuous wiues all husbands will be blest Faire wiues are good but vertuous wiues are best They that my fortunes will pervse shall finde No beauties like the beautie of the minde FINIS
A PLEASANT conceited Comedie Wherein is shewed how a man may chuse a good Wife from a bad As it hath bene sundry times Acted by the Earle of Worcesters Seruants LONDON Printed for Mathew Lawe and are to be solde at his shop in Paules Church-yard neare vnto S. Augustines gate at the signe of the Foxe 1602 A pleasant conceited Comedie wherein is shewed how a man may chuse a good Wife from a bad Enter as vpon the Exchaunge young Maister Arthur and Maister Lusam. Arthur I Tell you true Sir but to euery man I would not be so lauish of my speech Only to you my deare and priuate friend Although my wife in euery eye be held Of beautie and of grace sufficient Of honest birth and good behauiour Able to winne the strongest thoughts to her Yet in my mind I hold her the most hated And loathed obiect that the world can yeeld Lusam. Oh M. Arthur beare a better thought Of your chast wife whose modesty hath wonne The good opinion and report of all By heauen you wrong her beautie she is faire Ar. Not in mine eye Lu. O you are cloyed with dainties M. Arthur And too much sweetnes glutted hath your tast And makes you loath them At the first You did admire her beautie praisde her face Were proud to haue her follow at your heeles Through the broad streetes when all censuring tongues Found themselues busied as she past along To extoll her in the hearing of you both Tell me I pray you and dissemble not Haue you not in the time of your first loue Hugd such new popular and vulgar talke And glorified still to see her brauely deckt But now a kind of loathing hath quite changde Your shape of loue into a forme of hate But on what reason ground you this hate Ar. My reason is my mind my ground my wil I will not loue her If you aske me why I cannot loue her let that answere you Lu. Be iudge all eyes her face deserues it not Then on what roote growes this hie braunch of hate Is she not loyall constant louing chast Obedient apt to please loth to displease Carefull to liue chary of her good name And iealous of your reputation Is she not vertuous wise religious How should you wrong her to deny all this Good M. Arthur let me argue with you They walke and talke Enter walking and talking M. Anselme and Maister Futter Ful. Oh M. Anselme growne a Louer fie What might she be on whom your hopes relie An. What fooles they are that seem most wise in loue How wise they are that are but fooles in loue Before I was a Louer I had reason To iudge of matters censure of all sorts Nay I had wit to call a Louer foole And looke into his folly with bright eyes But now intruding Loue dwels in my braine And frantickly hath shouldered reason thence I am not old and yet alas I doate I haue not lost my sight and yet am blind No bondman yet haue lost my libertie No naturall foole and yet I want my wit What am I then let me define my selfe A doatar yong a blind man that can see A wittie foole a bond-man that is free Ful. Good aged youth blind seer wise foole Loose your free bonds and set your thoughts to schoole Enter old M. Arthur and old M. Lusam. Old Ar. T is told me M. Lusam that my sonne And your chast daughter whom we matcht together Wrangle and fall at oddes and brawle and chide Old Lu. Nay I thinke so I neuer lookt for better This t is to marry children when they are yong I said as much at first that such yong brats Would gree together euen like dogs and cats Old Ar. Nay pray you M. Lusam say not so There was great hope though they were matcht but yong Their vertues would haue made then simpathise And liue together like two quiet Saints Old Lu. You say true there was great hope indeed They would haue liu'd like Saints but where 's the fault Old Ar. If fame be true the most fault 's in my sonne Old Lu. You say true M. Arthur t is so indeed Old Ar. Nay sir I do not altogether excuse Your daughter many lay the blame on her Old Lu. Ha say you so bithmasse t is like enough For from her childhood she hath bene a shrowe Old Ar A shrow you wrong her all the towne admires her For mildnesse chastnesse and humilitie Old Lu. Fore God you say well she is so indeed The Citie doth admire her for these vertues Old Ar. O sir you praise your child too palpably Shee 's mild and chast but not admir'd so much Old Lu. I so I say I did not meane admir'd Old Ar. Yes if a man do well consider her Your daughter is the wonder of her sexe Old Lu. Are you aduisde of that I cannot tell What t is you call the wonder of her sexe But she is is she I indeed she is Old Ar. What is she Old Lu. Euen what you wil you know best what she is Anselme Yon is her husband let vs leaue this walke How full are bad thoughts of suspition I loue but loath my selfe for louing so Yet cannot change my disposition Fuller Medice cure teipsum Ansel. Hei mihi quod mellis amor est medicabilis herbis Yong Ar. All your perswasions are to no effect Neuer alledge her vertues nor her beautie My setled vnkindnes hath begot A resolution to be vnkind still My raunging pleasures loue varietie Yon. Lu. Oh too vnkind vnto so kind a wife Too vritules to one so vertuous And too vnchast vnto so chast a matron Yon. Ar. But soft sir see where my two fathers are Busily talking let vs shrinke aside For if they see me they are bent to chide Exeunt Old Ar. I thinke t is best to goe straight to the house And make them friends againe what thinke you sir Old Lu. I thinke so too Old Arth. Now I remember too that 's not so good For diuers reasons I thinke best stay here And leaue them to their wrangling what thinke you Old Lu. I thinke so too Old Arth. Nay we will goe that 's certaine Old Lu. I t is best t is best in sooth there 's no way but to goe Old Arth. Yet if our going should breed more vnrest More discord more dissention more debate More wrangling where there is inough alreadie T were better stay then goe Old Lu. Fore God t is true Our going may perhaps breed more debate And then we may too late wish we had staid And therefore if you will be rulde by me We will not goe that 's flat Nay if we loue Our credits or our quiets le ts not goe Old Ar. But if we loue their credits or their quiets we must goe And reconcile them to their former loue Where there is strife betwixt a man and wife t is hell And mutuall loue may be compar'd to heauen For then their soules and
knew the wench that is become his Bride And smil'd to thinke how deepely he had lide For first he swore he did not court a maide A wife he could not she was else-where tied And as for such as widowes were he said And deeply swore none such shuld be his bride Widow nor wife nor maide I askt no more Knowing he was betroth'd vnto a whore Enter Mistresse Arthur Ans. Is it not Mistris Mary that you meane She that did dine with vs at Arthurs house Ful. The same the same here comes the Gentle woman Oh Mistris Arthur I am of your counsell Welcome from death to life Ans. Mistris this gentleman hath news to tel ye And as you like of it so think of me Ful. Your husband hath alreadie got a wife A huffing wench yfaith whose ruffling silkes Make with their motion musicke vnto loue And you are quite forgotten Ans. I haue sworne to moue this my vnchaste demand no more Ful. When doth your colour change When doth your eyes Sparkle with fire to reuenge these wrongs When doth your tongue breake into rage and wrathe Against that scum of manhood your vile husband He first misusde you Ans. And yet can you loue him Ful. He left your chaste bed to defile the bed Of sacred marriage with a Curtezan Ans. Yet can you loue him Ful. And not content with this Abus'd your honest name with slaundrous words And fild your husht house with vnquietnesse Ansel. And can you loue him yet Ful. Nay did he not with his rude fingers dash you on the face And double dye your Corrall lips with bloud Hath he not torne those Gold wyers from your head Wherewith Apollo would haue strung his Harpe And kept them to play musicke to the Gods Hath he not beate you and with his rude fists Vpō that Crimzon temperature of your cheeks Laid a lead colour with his boystrous blowes Ansel. And can you loue him yet Ful. Then did he not Eyther by poison or some other plot Send you to death where by his Prouidence God hath preseru'd you by wondrous myracle Nay after death hath he not scandaliz'd Your place with an immodest Curtizan Ans. And can you loue him yet Mis. Ar. And yet and yet and still and euer whilst I breathe this ayre Nay after death my vnsubstantiall soule Like a good Angell shall attend on him And keepe him from all harme But is he married much good do his heart Pray God she may content him better farre Then I haue done long may they liue in peace Till I disturbe their solace but because I feare some mischiefe doth hang his head I le weepe mine eyes drie with my present care And for their healths make hoarce my toong with praier Exit Ful. Art sure she is a woman if she be She is create of Natures puritie Ans. O yes I too well know she is a woman Henceforth my vertue shall my loue withstand And on my striuing thoughts get the vpper hād Ful. Then thus resolu'd I straight will drinke to thee A health thus deepe to drowne thy melancholy Exeunt Enter Mary yong Arthur Brabo and Splay Ma. Not haue my will yes I will haue my will Shall I not goe abroad but when you please Can I not now and then meete with my friends But at my comming home you will controwle me Marrie come vp Yong Ar. Where are thou patience Nay rather where 's become my former spleene I had a wife would not haue vsde me so Ma. Why you Iacke sawce you Cuckold you what not What am not I of age sufficient To go and come still when my pleasure serues But must I haue you sir to question me Not haue my will yes I will haue my will Yong Ar. I had a wife would not haue vsde me so But shee is dead Bra. Not haue her will sir she shall haue her will She saies she will and sir I say she shall Not haue her will that were a Ieast indeed Who saies she shall not if I be disposde To man her forth who shall finde fault with it What 's he that dare say black 's her eie Though you be married sir yet you must know That she was euer borne to haue her will Splay Not haue her wil Gods passion I say still A woman 's no bodie that wants her will Yong Ar. Where is my spirit what shal I maintaine A strumpet with a Brabo and her bawd To beard me out of my authortie What am I from a maister made a slaue Ma. A slaue nay worse dost thou maintain my man And this my maide t is I maintaine them both I am thy wife I will not be drest so While thy Gold lasts but then most willingly I will bequeath thee to flat beggerie I do alreadie hate thee do thy worst Nay touch me if thou darst what shall he beate me Bra. I le make him seeke his fingers mongst the dogges That dares to touch my Mistresse neuer feare My sword shall smooth the wrinckles of his browes That bends a frowne vpon my Mistresse Yong Ar. I had a wife would not haue vsde me so But God is iust Ma. Now Arthur if I knew What in this world would most torment thy soule That I would doo would all my euill vsage Could make thee straight dispaire and hang thy selfe Now I remember where is Arthurs man Pipkin that slaue go turne him out of doores None that loues Arthur shall haue house-roome here Enter Pipkin Yonder he comes Brabo discard the fellow Yong Ar. Shall I be ouermaistred in my owne Be thy selfe Arthur strumpet he shall stay Mary What shall he Brabo shall he Mistris Splay Bra. Shall he he shall not breathes there any liuing Dares say he shall when Brabo saies he shall not Yong Ar. Is there no law for this she is my wife Should I complaine I should be rather mockt I am content keepe by thee whom thou list Discharge whom thou thinkst good do what thou wilt Rise go to bed stay at home or go abroad At thy good pleasure keepe all companies So that for all this I may haue but peace Be vnto me as I was to my wife Onely giue me what I denied her then A litle loue and some small quietnesse If he displease thee turne him out of doores Pip. Who me turne me out of doores is this all the wages I shall haue at the yeares end to bee turned out of doores you Mistris you are a. Splay A what speake a what touch her and touch me taint her and taint me speake speake a what Pip. Marrie a woman that is kin to the frost Splay How do you meane that Pip. And you are a kin to the Latine word to understand Splay And what 's that Pip. Subaudi subaudi and sir doo you not vse to pinke doublets Splay And why Pip. I tooke you for a cutter you are of a great kindred you are a common couzener euerie bodie calls you cousen besides they say you are a verie