hard of finding Every way turning and winding Are their Laws always binding Was Judas hang'd upon an Eldar Here 's a Health to Hanse in Keldar At the Root do Jews-Ears spring For Quinsies Medicine for a King Could strangling such Virtue bring To cure Choaking sing Hey ding ding Sir John Mandevil tells Ctesia's Tales We are all drinking in Wales 'T will make us merry in Hills and Dales Where does the Eagle make his Nest Why Storks affect Republicks best 'T is a very prety Jest And much like all the rest Whores would leave Savin if Brakes or Fearn Would serve as well to kill a Bearn Phylla and Mercury produces Boys Which most of all are Womens Joys Dog finds his Master in the Night Sooner than an Honest man by Light If I should take Pliny the Naturalist The Two thousand Authors Rhapsodist Or Athenaeus of the same kind I could not better please my mind Why did Augustus's Pontifex Sacrifice To Vulcan Ten thousand Prophecies In contempt of Apollo's Rites Erected the Order of Twelve Knights See plainly Nisa's Golden Lock And the Ship Argos in the Dock Bootes in his Boots and Frock The great Syracuse Bulk Holds Barns and Stables in her Hulk When all Tongues were boyl'd in a Pot Was Lingo Franc the Scum or not Tell us how Hydra's Seven Heads Slept all together in their Beds How Argus's hundred Eyes were bob'd And the golden Orchard rob'd The amorous Moon stole to her Minion Whole Nights kissing sleeping Endymion Caveare Sack-Possits and Cock Treadings Were they Dishes us'd at Weddings In Naturalibus putis puris I pray resolve me Quid Juris Tell me whence Reason and Speech spring If we see or hear Nothing Why the Rich that have no need of Dinners Can find in their hearts to eat up poor Sinners To be took by the Teeth or be took by a Bribe Prevails more than the Learning of a Scribe You 'l ask me Will I ne're a done Tilt the Hogshead make it run Many foul Faults I have forgotten You 'l find the worst in the Bottom War wherries Rome for Fluctus Decimanus At Thule who shall entertain us Procopii opera Anecdota Were call'd Arcana Historia In which Justinian was blam'd And Bellisarius defam'd To blast those Hero's he was not asham'd With whom the same day he was not to be nam'd So Epicurus Seneca Nicholas of great Fames For Vertue for Vice got unlucky Names A Trick has been too often us'd For Gallant men to be abus'd Occult Qualities is a poor Come off The last Refuge for a Cavelling Soph. I observe in all my Travels Adam and Eve painted with Navels A Midwife will resolve you that none Are so but such as are bred and fed in the Womb. Absyrtes scatter'd Limbs who tore And re-joyn'd them but that Witch Whore Now I 'm quite spent I must give o're CANTO XVI But first I 'le handle some Law Points That are torn and rackt out of Joints 'T is the great Design of Law To keep us Witches most in Aw Laws are good but manag'd so As to manage our deadly Blow Then have at some for all their Threats For putting us into cold Sweats Have at those Pety-Foggers that fright us And for our Craft so oft Indict us At Tyburn with Halters you make us take Turns At Smithfield you furnish us with Faggots and Urns. Law sleeps you say but never dyes I wonder when she opens her Eyes You take us all for Whores and Spies 'T is for our health to make Discoveries If it be possible of all Recoveries But of Recoveries it is complain'd Some are True and some are Feign'd A True one rightly got is a just Eviction A False one wrongly got is a bad Fiction To this pass it is now grown We can settle Estates that are none of our own And destroy other mens without Attainder Which are truly theirs in Reversion or Remainder For this enter into the Scene The Stage-Players with their Bands starcht clean The Demandant or the Recoverer The Vouchee or the Discoverer These two Knavishly agree With the Knave Tenant the Recoveree If then you would cut off the Entail Of Land you give or put to Sale For ever from the Heirs Male For a feign'd Entry you must be at Cost Sur Disseisin en la Post This feigned Tenant Lug him by th' Ears Is to appear in the Court of Common Pleas. For a Wilful Default a Writ of Seisin flyes For the Tenant against the Voucher of Lyes Who is the poor Bag-bearer unlanded To warrant the Heir in Tail if you understand it And you may when you please Command it Ned Hones the Bag-bearer was He That was for Thirty years Common Vouchee To whom past the greatest part of English Ground For his own Lands which could never be found To answer the Remainder in Tail That the Recovery might never fail Thus for all you have a Warrant Which is some pitiful Knight Errand To prevent Everlasting War This is an Everlasting Bar. All this passes through the hand Of the Common Hang-Land This is the famous Alienation That runs from generation to generation The Statute of Westminster the Second they say Was made to hinder this foul play But this is suffered by Men of Parts Because of the hardness of mens Hearts I wonder before 'um All How this passes in Judgment Hall Things of this Nature long time have proceeded 'T is high time such Gardens should be weeded Inofficiosi Testamenti Querela Iniquae Praeteritionis est Medela A Ranting Son must have his Merit His Father may him Disinherit The Dutiful Son without Extortion May come in for a Childs Portion It is Justice in all Laws To Disinherit none without a Cause Minors Fools Prodigals and Mad From Praetor Guardians and Tutors had So to preserve Estates 't was fit For such as should have more Honesty and Wit A Father refuses his Daughter to marry At Five and twenty she need not tarry In the mean time she 's like to miscarry Then without his consent her self she may wed To a Chaste equal marriage Bed And being then in her own Power He 's bound to allow her a fit Dower She may make her Husband a Cuckold each hour Is the Case rightly stated By Bedding Matrimony is consummated Reason of Law gives better content Marriage is compleated by Consent In a Thing Common at first sight The Usurper seems t' have the best Right 'T were better said Hath the most Might We may bid all Justice good Night Such things as these are very Tight If an Evil deed be done And a bad Consequence thereupon run The Post Fact by Estimation Is counted no good Augmentation How can this be Rectum in Curia Scienti non fit Injuria Because I see and feel my Loss I must come home by Weeping Cross An Obligation by Words alone By other Words is overthrown This is to give and take a Thing a Rambling Will Runs round like a Horse in a Mill.
Smock Sinner or so Commute soundly and you shall be let go Fee Ogg the great Comissary before and behind Then Sin on you know my mind To Females all Males must be kind But Poor Whores no favour find Norfolk Swains that drive the Cows Whistle Littleton at their Plows Essoins Withernams Vouches Recapia's are stuffed in Leathern-Slowches The Salick Law is a rare Tool Excludes Females from all Rule Let no-Woman Fee Inherit Because in Wars they cannot Merit As freely Father goes to the Bow As the Son handles the Plow From the Females or Heirs Male A Fine past cuts off the Entail For a Recovery you may Rail No stopping a Ship under Sail. Pantomimi Histriones Wizards Egregii Nebulones Vox Populi vox Dei 't is confest Is as True as all the rest A Populo ad Regem Modus Conventio vincunt Legem It drives Shopkeepers into Nets When Priviledg'd men must pay no Debts Anaxarchus had the heart of a Porter That could endure to be bray'd in a Mortar Customs of contrary Feature Should they be call'd a Second Nature To say this Point is Law is in dark to grope Unless it agree with the whole Scope From Truth how can Falshood come Or Lyes harbour in Truths Room If all are inevitable Fate All Good or Bad 's quite out of Date Whether it be fair or just Men more than Brutes continual Lust How does Reason rule the Rost When Lasciviousness rides Post They couple only for a Brood Men for every wanton Mood They take their times for Generation Men at all times without Moderation What Witches were at the taking of Troy Fair Helena stole by the Roaring Boy Paris was that unlucky Toy Both fit to be call'd the Witches Joy Two contrary Parties Hallow Boys Hallow Jupiter in Troiam pro Trojâ stabat Apollo 'T is good well sung in Catches or Canto's 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Which with a Pipe of Smoke to blow to Is Dimidium plus Toto 'T is time to bid your Companions be gone The Farthest about 's the nearest way home The Whole is greater than the Part That 's safe But the Contrary Thou lyest Ralph Every Effect hath a Cause There should be Reason in all Laws Clerks if you rightly apprehend 'um Hold Dignities in pure Commendam ' Cause men of Parts cannot be found While they are living above ground No harm for Wrong done shall come near ye Idem est non esse non apparere A Minor acts not without a Tutor An old Incumbent hath a Coadjutor And a Mistress hath a Suitor Status Naturae status Belli Is worse than Cock-broth in Gelly Jus unicuique ad omnia O rare Look out sharp the World 's a great Fare Nothing 's good but wha't 's Commanded Why should any man be hang'd or branded Nothing 's bad but what 's Forbidden Let Thieves and Rogues do as they 're bidden It should seem by all these Flaws Definitions are dangerous in Laws Go and be bound and pay the Debt You 're just taken in a Net I am all in a Sweat Come hang Laws they that have Brains To know or do them will take no pains For to be sure they 'l get no gains And they have many unlucky Strains For they keep us all in Chains 'T is better to be free and then We may be said to live like Men. Reason of State Reason of Law Right or Wrong keeps all in Aw Trust no Man if you would live brave Keep a good Word for a Knave Oblige all the World please every Man By hook or by crook Catch that catch can Study Men more than Books That will make you gentile Rooks. Get a Picklock for the Law To open every Crevise and Flaw Get Pincers and a lusty Screw To wrest from every Man his due Where Rocks are get Axes and Hammers Spades Pickaxes and Rammers Let all your Implements be ready And be sure to hold your hand steady Look big stand all in your Robes Like a Conqueror of both Globes From you every Line or Word Cuts more than a Two-handed-Sword Truth must not be spoke you say at all times The way to huddle up the basest Crimes To be an Informer is thought a Disgrace Then how shall Capital Laws take place Never of any Tale-bearer tell Tho you love me never so well But if I get a Friend in a Corner He will tell me the false Informer He that is an Inventor of Lyes By him many an Innocent dyes Deserves to be made a Sacrifice For shall not the good Law punish him sore And not suffer him to live to kill any more Is it not good for the Common-weal To reward him that shall Felons reveal Is he my Friend that will see me misus'd Or behind my back not tell me by whom I 'am abus'd Consider this Case better and try And do as you would be done by 'T is come to a fine pass you 'l say when Witches with Maces Authoritatively must Resolve Conscience-Cases For this call us no more Brazen Faces Nor load us with foul Disgraces We understand some Common Places Marcus his Scholars loosely taught That tho by all kind of Vice debaucht Yet no more tainted by these ugly Steams Than are by Dunghils the Suns Beams Sesostris was first Institutor of Fees To Souldiers he gave the best Aegyptian Lees. He fed them and taught them all in Warring And by this Tye restrain'd them from Jarring They must keep strict to Military Art From which Mechanicks might never depart And to preserve Families from falling The Son must be of his Father's Calling And so a Captain as well as a Cook His Father's Profession ne're forsook If he dye for his Inheritance he might go look 'T were good if Scholars were so kept to their Book But our Laws would never this Custom Brook To Souldiers and Priests so much good Land Preserv'd them close to the Kings Command Better than the old Praetorian Band. He also freed them from Taxes and Gabels Whose Names were listed in Warlike Tables So much Bread and Flesh he daily did award To all the Yeomen of his Guard They served their Master the rather Because he was their Foster Father Nomus Thebaeus assign'd to Regiments Panopolitus or Chemnitus all in their Tents Turk to this day prosecutes the same Intents For Love and Gratitude strong Arguments So Janizaries and Timariots Are hindred from Rebellious Plots The Roman Agrarian Law Kept Souldier and People all in Aw The Linotrophi not for Name With the Feudatories were much the same 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 divided into Nomi Pannels Betwixt Nilus and Ostia Channels A wise Lady was once in hope To get License from the Pope For Women as well as Men to hear Confessions Resolve Cases and pardon Transgressions His Holiness his Answer did delay And bid her wait till such a day And gave her a Box to bring with her own hand But not to open it by strict Command The good Lady and her
not know them asunder hereafter Chance-medly to Murther is no near Kin 'T is a Misery no Sin In Natures Laws they are not skilful That say all other Homicide is not Wilful Is it not a sudden Passion Excuses for Life lost in such a fashion Tho there were no Malice Prepense To aggravate so great Offence Because every mad Fool is crost A wise Man's life must not be lost Malice Passion and Pride shews By giving of such fatal Blows Omnia quae movent ad mortem Must undergo the same sortem The Law requires Life Lands and Goods For the Wilful spilling of Bloods No Life but Goods only for Manslaughter 'T is pity it should be so hereafter Tho it be Se Defendendo It shall have the same Reprehendo But that which is of all the Core Felo de se suffers no more If a Thief rob and break no door Is he no Felon therefore And if he chance in fear to fly for 't Doth he then deserve to dye for 't Fear no harm shall come near ye Idem est non esse non apparere Trust Aristotle 's Ipse dixit Qui benè latuit benè vixit The Eldest Male must sole Inherit Tho the rest have much more Merit What shall they do for better or worse But Beg or Steal or take a Purse This will extort many a Curse This makes them march against their Will Along with us up Holborn Hill With many a Jack and many a Gill Who all at Tiburn hang their fill We never wear Purple-Gowns But we command Scepters and Crowns The Men that most converse in Books Look upon us with wry Looks Because we prove them the greatest Rooks. Whether a Custom may break a Law Whether I stumble at a Straw Elopement from a Husbands Bower Forfeits clearly the Wives Dower The Man loses nothing though by wilful Mistake He from his Wife Elopement make Why should the Man only be free From Matrimonial Treachery Ask the Fair rich Lady Pomona If Lands as well as Chattels be not Bona. Magna Charta de Foresta Statute of Marlebridge are the Best-a The great Petition of Right We get no benefit by 't No Habeas Corpus can shent us Latitat or Non est Inventus Exigents or Certioraries We are in the Land of Fairies Our Distringas's at the Tree Where the Hangman gets his Fee The worst of all that can befall us Is at the Gallows to Enstall us Nil Factum quod non factum Prius Seldom such Justice you deny us How sometimes is a Service choakt Interlocutory Judgment Revok't Many Escheats and Primer Seisins Are contrary to Sense and Reasons Prodigals Madmen Fools by Right Should have their Guardians all alike And their Estates by Publick Cares Prescrib'd for their wiser Heirs If my stollen Goods be dropt or waiv'd For me they never shall be sav'd The Reason why I am defeated Is because they are Escheated I am risen on the wrong side I must not take them if brought by the Tide For help I know not who shall be my Guide And which is worse I must not Chide Buyers of Justice must sell at last The Devils do not all so fast Rhadamanthus a brave Lad Scorns to do a Deed so bad Politick and Personal Capacities Are contrary to all Veracities An Outlary you may stick if you will As you do a Bear or Bull. He that to kill is an Instigator Deserves death as much as the Perpetrator What think you of Writs of Error To Innocent Sufferers a Terror Supersedeas Procedendo's Rules of Court are no Amendo's Never Question Pope Joan-a Moritur Actio cum Personâ Writs of false Date The Via Lata False Charges of Rata pro Ratâ Or if you please Pro Re natâ Corpus cum Causa I ken well Corpus cum Causa I can't tell Mala Grammatica non vitiat Chartam Sed Mala Causa spoliat Partem 'T is true as they say at Falerno Beato il Filiolo qui Padro in Inferno I 've made my self a great Dictator A Magisterial Arbitrator I censure Lawyers and Sophies Vaunting with Triumphant Trophies Not without just Cause I 'le assure you We have no Reason to endure you We tell them their own more clearly Than they that pretend to love'um so dearly Others are Meal-mouth'd dare not speak We fear no Vengeance to wreak Tho we don't do we dare tell Truth More than the best that cry Your Servant forsooth We hold not fit to deal Cum Regibus Nemo debet esse Sapientior Legibus I may venture into Curiam Actus Legis non facit Injuriam There 's no Writ ad Procedendum A Communi observantiâ non est Recedendum How can there be a Legitimation Of a Bastard Generation Can Edicts Seals or Decrees Purge the Dross of a Spurious Disease When Blood in Nature is polluted How can it be by Law diluted The Law grants Priviledges when none due But no Law can make Falshood true Civils not Morals change I am a Dotard Once a Bastard and ever a Bastard We find in Classical Records The Lawyers then were Roman Lords As Noble Patrons they did plead For poor Clients but scorn to be Fee'd No Mercenary Tongues there When Justice was Mistress of the Chair 'T is an intolerable Abuse When hackney Tongues and Pens are in use Then Justice freely had its play Equity Rigor did allay All were punish'd that went astray The Righteous Case got the Day The Common Judge was Praetor and then Able to give Right to all kind of Men. By this in glory peace and health Florisht that famous Commonwealth The Law sleeps but never dyes Teach me a new way to make Lyes 'T is a dangerous Innovation To revive Truth by Reformation By no means let all Ill lye quiet 'T is dangerous to change Diet. Whether Ingratitude make void a Gift When lowzy whether I want a Shift Before a Monk creeps to his Cell He makes his Will then ring the Bell. For the Razor passing his Crown Into Hades sends him down And now he 's dead he can't Revoke The last Words that e're he Spoke How can this be Rectum in Curia Summum Jus Summa Injuria The Heir shall meddle with the Land But of Goods he has no Command For the Reason I am at a stand The Abating of a Writ Is the Abating of Wit Elegits Fieri Scire facias Ad satisfaciendum Capias For Twelve-pence stole out of Box a Thief must dye For less if taken from a Person Why I 'le be an Honest man live or dye I am for the Custom of Gavel-kind By which no Child is left behind The youngest 'fore the Eldest I never saw Prefer'd but by Nottingham Law He that 's best born is call'd a Mulier Is not this a Common Law Peculiar Shall a Judge condemn by a Process right sent The Man that he knows to be Innocent Justice is ever in Laws well meant For this find out an Expedient Forms must not
than the Oil of Gold That fed th'Everlasting Lamp of old For Lyes we 're all bought and sold Tygers the Africans did annoy Which not being able to destroy By solemn Act they all Decree No Tygers should in Nature be Tom Nash his Pasquil and Marforius The Counter Scufflle more Censorious These answer'd Martin-Mar-Prelate better Than Whitgift's Admonition Letter Aurelia Allobrogum the more 's the Pity Contends with Rome to be the Mother City Compare which of them hath done least good Observe which of them hath shed most Blood Paris Mattins Sicilian Evensong The Powder-Plot the Parliament Long. This Presbyterian Association The Dissenters Assassination Nero Sirnamed Tiberius Got the Nick-name of Biberius Licinius Muraena so I clept ' Cause for a Lampry's death he wept The Luxurious Roman Squire Will see his Fish expire And drest immediately at the Fire Of Prodigies Rome's Stories tell us Croco sparsa Domus of Metellus Accipenser serv'd up at a strange rate With Garlands and loud Musick in state A Horse a Consul and Priest was made A Man a Woman the Roman Trade Romans were famous to the Skyes Greeks were renowned for Lyes Too near a Wolf take heed how you come If you see him first he 'l strike you dumb From hence conclude Lupus in Fabulâ Or write it down for a Lye in Tabulâ Moles have no Eyes Elephants no Joynts They sleep leaning on Trees false Points Pelican for her Young makes holes in her Breast 'T is as true as all the rest For she has a broad Flat Bill And could not do 't though she had a Will Our Bodies are weak Ergo for Fornication The Gloss says there 's no Deprivation We 're all now of less Age and Stature Ergo there is a decay in Nature Sun draws near th' Earth an Hundred and Thirty Degrees In time the Tropicks are like to Freeze Mountains decay Stars fail Some already downwards hang their Tail Cassiopeia's new Star is long since retir'd Comets above the Moon much admir'd Venus has chang'd her Colour Bigness and Shape Sol drinks all Vapours Stars for Thirst gape But what if the Dragon or great Bear To our Horizon should draw near 'T would put us all to a Bodily Fear Besides Retrogradation Trepidation and Libration Fright Mortals with a General Transmutation Sayling more speedy from East to West Confirms the Truth of all the rest Harpaste Seneca's Wives Fool At Noon stumbled at a Joyn'd Stool Blind as she was her Reason mark She complain'd the Room was dark Precise Plato held a Community 'Twixt Men and Women with Impunity Lycurgus made all his Laws for War If for Peace't had been better far Solon cancell'd old Debts the more Under pretence of doing good to the Poor Aristotle for poor mens helps Bids drown their Children like Whelps Coelum vetus est Paganum Da novum nobis Christianum Ordeal Law by Fire and Water The like by Duels or Manslaughter Of Truth found out no such matter Lypsius de Potoribus Eâ—oribus Should add De Orbis Raptoribus Consult Joannes de Temporibus Cave Annibal est prae Foribus Where Beauty and Wisdom are fixt They are good single but better mixt Fair Vertue shines with greater Grace When adorn'd with Beauties Face 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Homer's Iliads in a Nut-shell lye The Rhodian Ship was hid by a Fly Vitellius had two Thousand Fishes And ten Thousand Birds serv'd up in Dishes To Gluttons with Cranes-Throats if they had their Wishes Six hundred Ostriches for Heliogabalus An Ox for Hercules if not Fabulous Smydrides rested from all Fears Saw no Sun-rising for Twenty years There is I think no great Wit But of some mixture does admit Of Madness now and then a fit Penelopes Geese eat the Wheat in her Hall She dream't the Eagle kill'd them all The Thief is born under Mercury's Planet Under Venus the Letcher can't withstand it Murderer under Mars if you understand it Mahomet's Doctrine of the Bow-string Sad Notes upon the Hangmans Low-string Mark Antony and Cleopatra his Mate Strove t'outvye in Charge and State Antony's Supper of vast Expence Th' Egyptian Queen did Recompence She call'd her Slave to fetch a Cruse Of Vinegar as for common use Took a Pearl pendant from one Ears tip Dissolv'd and turn'd it o're her Lip O 't was a costly Vain-glorious swallow From t'other Ear a second was to follow But that the Judge stay'd her Saying Madam y'have won the Wager The Jewel sav'd they did divide To adorn Venus in her highest Pride Jewels of such invaluable Worth Th'Orient ne're before or since brought forth Clodius Aesop the Tragaedian did such a Feat But 'fore they died wanted Meat Attalus to Seneca commended a Bed Where was no Print from Foot to Head Made him rather than please his Gusts To feed on Herbs and hard Crusts The Pompeians the Night before Pharsalia's Fight did Sing and Roar Casting Dice with unlucky Hands For Romes Honours Houses Lands The next Day they all fell or fled Divide no Lions Skin 'till he be dead Wherefore was Famous Machiavel Condemn'd by Churchmen to the Pit of Hell 'T was because of the Pope he ne're spake well Therefore Curse him by Book Candle and Bell. Drink up the Morning-Star and if you ben't a Clown Be bold to drink th'Evening-Star down Martin the Cryer calls Witches away The Owls screetch the Dogs bay Toads croak and Catamountains play Snatch Flesh Foam the Night-Ravens Maws Wolves Hair from off Mad-Dogs Jaws Seize the Ass out of the Lions Paws Hiena's Basilisks Mandrakes Vipers Adders Serpents Snakes Take Horned Poppy Cypress Brooms Wild Fig-Tree that grows on Tombs Cast up dead Ashes and Sand The Moon and Stars you may Command Darkness Devils Heav'n and Hell Must be subject to your Spell I call you Once I call you Twice Headlong ye come if I call you Thrice Make your Cross Dances Hip to Hip Back to Back Hee l to Heel Trip. Charm all the sorts of deadly Drugs Carry the Devils by the Lugs Sting 'um with Insects and Bugs In Cradles suck Childrens Breath And gripe the old Nurses to Death Full fourteen years the Maid of Mewrs Fasted liv'd by the smell of Flowrs 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sun bene olet Quod oculus non ridet Cor non dolet The Parasite is Fee'd Offa monet 'T was Tully's unsavoury proud Encomium O Fortunatam natam me Consule Romam Dioclesian Brother to Sun and Moon His Name 's up may lye a Bed till Noon Give the Baby Pap in a Spoon All Clients that come or go Have the Honour to kiss his Toe Ev'n grave Augustus had his Frisk Acted Apollo very Brisk Clad his Guests in Antick Dresses In state like Gods and Goddesses Dominus Deus noster Jubet Domitianus quicquid Lubet Numen Vestrum Perennitas Vestra Saluted so in the Orchestrâ Augustus's Statue Cheek by Joll Jussel'd Jupiter in the Capitol Of Scaurus's Theatre Fame Thunders As of one of the