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A57015 The fifth book of The works of Francis Rabelais, M.D., contaning the heroic deeds and sayings of the great Pantagruel to which is added the Pantagruelian prognostication, Rabelais's letters, and several other pieces by that author / done out of French by P.M.; Selections. 1694 Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553? Pantagruel. English.; Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553? Pantagruéline prognostication. English.; Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553? Correspondence. English.; Motteux, Peter Anthony, 1660-1718. 1694 (1694) Wing R104A; ESTC R2564 128,470 325

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after the fashion of the Egyptian Heathens who us'd to constitute their Isiacs by shaving them and making them put on certain Linostoles or Surplices However I don't know my good Friends but that these She-things whether Clergkites Monkites and Abbesskites that should not instead of singing some plaisant Verses and Charisters such as us'd to be sung to Oromasis by Zoroaster's Institution may be bellowing out such Catarates and Scythropys curs'd lamentable and wretched Imprecations as were usually offer'd to the Arimanian Daemon being thus in Devotion for their kind Friends and Relations that transform'd them into Birds whether when they were Maids or Thornbacks in their Prime or at their last Prayers But the greatest number of our Birds come out of Want-o-Bread which tho a barren Countrey where the days are of a most tedious lingring length overstocks this whole Island with the lower Class of Birds For hither fly the Assaphis that inhabit that Land either when they are in danger of passing their time scurvily for want of Belly-timber being unable or what 's more likely unwilling to take heart of grace and follow some honest lawful calling or too proud-hearted and lazy to go to service in some sober Family The same is done by your frantick Inamoradoes who when cross'd in their wild Desires grow stark-staring mad and chuse this Life suggested to them by their despair too cowardly to make them swing like their Brother Iphis of doleful Memory There is another sort that is your Goal-birds who having done some Rogue 's Trick or other heinous Villany and being sought up and down to be truss'd up and made to ride the Two or Three-legg'd Mare that groans for them warily scour off and come here to save their Bacon Because all these sorts of Birds are here provided for and grow in an instant as fat as Hogs tho they came as lean as Rakes For having the Benefit of the Clergy they are as safe as Thieves in a Mill within this Sanctuary But ask'd Pantagruel Do these Birds never return to the world where they wer● hatch'd Some do answer'd Aedituus ● formerly very few very seldom very late and very unwillingly However find some certain Ecclypses by the vertue o● the Coelestial Constellations a great Crows of them fled back to the world Nor d● we fret or vex our selves a jot about it for those that stay wisely sing The fewer the better Cheer and all those that fly away first cast off their Feathers here among these Nettles and Bryars Accordingly we found some thrown by there and as we look'd up and down we chanc'd to light on what some people will hardly thank us for having discover'd and thereby hangs a Tale. CHAP. V. Of the dumb Knighthawks of the Ringing Island THese Words were scarce out of his mouth when some Five and twenty or Thirty Birds flew towards us They were of a Hue and Feather like which we had not yet seen any thing in the whole Island Their Plumes were as changeable as the Skin of the Chamelion and the Flower of Tripolion or Tenerion They had all under the Left Wing a Mark like two Diameters dividing a Circle into equal parts or if you had rather have it so like a Perpendicular Linefalling on a Right Line The Marks which each of them bore were much of the same shape but of different Colours for some were White others Green some Red others Purple and some Blue Who are those ask'd Panurge and how do you call them They are Mongrels quoth Aedituus We call them Knighthawks and they have a great number of rich Commanderies fat Livings in your World Good your Worship said I make them give us a Song an 't please you that we may know how they sing They scorn your words cry'd Aedituus they are none of your Singing Birds but to make amends they feed as much as the best two of them all Pray where are their Hens where are their Females said I They have none answer'd Aedituus How comes it to pass then ask'd Panurge that they are thus bescabb'd bescurf'd all embroider'd o're the Phiz with Carbuncles Pushes and Pockroyals Some of which undermine the handles of their Faces This same Fashionable and Illustrious Disease quoth Aedituus is common among that kind of Birds because they are pretty apt to be tost on the Salt Deep He then acquainted us with the occasion of their coming This next to us said he looks so wistfully upon you to see whether he may not find among your Company a stately gawdy kind of huge dreadful Birds of Prey which yet are so untoward that they ne're could be brought to the Lure nor to Perch on the Glove They tell us that there are such in your World and that some of them have goodly Garters below the knee with an Inscription about them which condemns him qui mal y pense who shall think ill of it to be bewray'd and conskited Others are said to wear the Devil in a string before their Paunches and others a Ram's skin All that 's true enough good Master Aedituus quoth Panurge but we have not the honour to be acquainted with their Knight-ships Come on cry'd Aedituus in a merry mood we have had Chat enough o' Conscience let 's e'en go Drink and Eat quoth Panurge Eat reply'd Aedituus and Drink bravely old Boy Twist like Plough-jobbers and Swill like Tinkers Pull away and save Tide for nothing is so dear or precious as Time therefore we 'll be sure to put it to a good use He would fain have carried us first to bathe in the Bagnio's of the Cardinhawks which are goodly delicious places and have us lick'd over with precious Ointments by the Alyptes alias Rubbers as soon as we should come out of the Bath But Pantagruel told him that he could Drink but too much without that He then led us into a spacious delicate Refectuary or Fratrie-room and told us Braguibus the Hermit made you Fast Four day together now contrarywise I 'll make you Eat and Drink of the Best Four days through stitch before you budge from this place But hark-ye-me cry'd Panurge mayn't we take a Nap in the mean time Ay ay answer'd Aedituus that 's as you shall think good for he that Sleeps Drinks Good Lord how we liv'd what good Bub what dainty Cheer Oh what an honest Cod was this same Aedituus CHAP. VI. How the Birds are cramm'd in the Ringing Island PAntagruel look'd I don 't know howish and seem'd not very well pleas'd with the Four days Junketting which Aedituus enjoyn'd us Aedituus who soon found it out said to him you know Sir that seven days before Winter and seven days after there is no Storm at Sea For then the Elements are still out of respect for the Halcyons or Kingfishers Birds sacred to Thetis which then lay their Eggs and hatch their Young near the Shoar Now here the Sea makes it self amends for this long Calm and whenever some Foreigners come
Ringing Island and indeed we heard a kind of a confus'd and often-repeated Noise that seem'd to us at a great distance not unlike the sound of great middle-siz'd and little Bells rung all at once as 't is customary at Paris Tours Gergeau Nantes and elsewhere on high Holidays and the nearer we came to the Land the louder we heard that Jangling Some of us doubted that this was the Dodonoan Kettles or the Portico call'd Heptaphone in Olympia or the Eternal humming of the Colossus rais'd on Memnon's Tomb in Thebes of Egypt or the horrid Din that us'd formerly to be heard about a Tomb at Lipara one of the Eolian Islands But this did not square with Chorography I don't know said Pantagruel but that some swarms of Bees here abouts may be taking a Ramble in the Air and so the Neighbourhood make this dingle dangle with Pans Kettles and Basons the Co●ibanting Cimbals of Cybele Grand-Mother of the gods to call them back Let 's harken when we were nearer among the everlasting Ringing we heard the indefatigable Singing as we thought of some Men. For this Reason before we offer'd to Land on the Ringing Island Pantagruel was of opinion that we should go in the Pinnace to a small Rock near which we discover'd an Hermitage and a little Garden There we found a diminutive old Hermit whose name was Braguibus born at Glenay He gave us a full Account of all the Jangling and regal'd us after a strange sort of a fashion four live-long-days did he make us fast assuring us That we should not be admitted into the Ringing Island otherwise because 't was then one of the four Fasting or Ember-Weeks As I love my Belly quoth Panurge I by no means understand this Riddle methinks this should rather be one of the four Windy-weeks for while we fast we are only puff'd up with wind Pray now good Father Hermit have not you here some other pastime besides Fasting methinks 't is somewhat of the leanest we might well enough be without so many Palace-holidays and those fasting Times of yours In my Donatus quoth Fryar Ihon I could find yet but three Times or Tenses the Preterit the Present and the Future doubtless here the fourth ought to be a work of Supererogation That Time or Tense said Epistemon is Aorist deriv'd from the Preterimperfect Tense of the Greeks admitted in War and odd Cases Patience per force is a Remedy for a Mad dog Saith the Hermit 't is as I told you fatal to go against this whoever does it is a rank Heretick and wants nothing but Fire and Faggot that 's certain To deal plainly with you my dear Pater cri'd Panurge being at Sea I much more fear being wet than being warm and being drown'd than being burnt Well however let us fast a God's Name yet I have fasted so long that it has quite undermin'd my Flesh and I fear that at last the Bastions of this Bodily Fort of mine will fall to ruin Besides I am much more affraid of vexing you in this same Trade of Fasting for the Devil a bit I understand any thing in it and it becomes me very scurvily as several People have told me and I am apt to believe them For my part I have no great Stomach to Fasting for alas 't is as easy as pissing a Bed and a Trade of which any body may set up there needs no Tools I am much more inclin'd not to fast for the future for to do so there 's some Stock requir'd and some Tools are set a work No matter since you are so stedfast and have us fast let 's fast as fast as we can and then breakfast in the name of Famine now we are come to these esurial idle Days I vow I had quite put them out of my head long ago If we must fast said Pantagruel I see no other Remedy but to get rid of it as soon as we can as we would out of a bad way I 'll in that space of time somewhat look over my Papers and examine whether the Marine Study be as good as ours at Land For Plato to describe a silly raw ignorant Fellow compares him to those that are bred on Ship-board as we would do to one bred up in a Barrel who never saw any thing but through the Bunghole To tell you the short and long of the matter our Fasting was most hideous and terrible for the first day we fasted at Fisticuffs the second at Cudgels the third at Sharps and the fourth at Blood and Wounds such was the Order of the Fairies CHAP. II. How the Ringing Island had been inhabited by the Siticines who were become Birds HAving fasted as aforesaid the Hermit gave us a Letter for one whom he call'd Albiam Camar Master Aedituus of the Ringing Island but Panurge greeting him call'd him Master Antitus He was a little quear old Fellow bald pated with a Snout whereat you might easily have lighted a Card-match and a Phiz as red as a Cardinal's Cap. He made us all very wellcome upon the Hermits Recommendation hearing that we had fasted as I have told you When we had well-stuff'd our Puddings he gave us an Account of what was Remarkable in the Island affirming That it had been at first inhabited by the Siticines but that according to the course o● Nature as all things you know are subject to change they were become Birds There I had a full Account of all that Atteius Capito Paulus Marcellus A. Gellius Atheneus Suidas Ammonius and others had writ of the Siticines and Sicinnists and then we thought we might as easily believe the Transmutations of Nectimene Progne Itys Alcyone Antigone Tereus and other Birds Nor did we think it more reasonable to doubt of the Transmogrification of the Macrobian Children into Swans or that of the Men of Pallene in Thrace into Birds as soon as they have bath'd themselves in the Tritonie Lake After this the Devil a word we could get out of him but of Birds and Cages The Cages were spacious costly magnificent and of an admirable Architecture The Birds were large fine and neat accordingly looking as like the men in my Country as one Pea do's like another for they eat and drank like men muted like men endued or digested like men farted like men but stunk like Devils slept bill'd and trod their Females like men but somewhat oftener in short had you seen and examin'd 'em from Top to Toe you would have laid your head to a Turnip that they had been meer men However they were nothing less as Master Aedituus told us assuring us at the same time that they were neither Secular nor Layick and ' truth is the diversity of their Feathers and Plumes did not a little puzzle us Some of them were all over as white as Swans others as black as Crows many as grey as Owls others black and white like Magpyes some all red like Red-birds and others purple and white like some Pigeons He
quoth Friar Ihon when you are Sped that is when you are Married we 'll make a Tryal of this on thy Spouse meerly for Charity-sake since you are pleas'd to give us so beneficial an Instruction Ay ay return'd Panurge and then immediately I 'll give you a pretty gentle Agregative Pill of God made up of two and twenty kind Stabs with a Dagger after the Cesarian way Cat ' so cry'd Friar Ihon I had rather take off a Bumper of good cool Wine I saw there the golden Fleece formerly conquer'd by Jason and can assure you on the word of an honest man that those who have said it was not a Fleece but a golden Pippin because 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 signifies both an Apple and a Sheep were utterly mistaken I saw also a Chameleon such as Aristotle describes it and like that which had been formerly show'd me by Charles Maris a famous Physician of the noble City of I●ons on the Rosne and the said Chameleon liv'd on air just as the other did I saw three Hydra's like those I had formerly seen They are a kind of a Serpent with seven different Heads I saw allso fourteen Phoenixes I had read in many Authors that there was but one in the whole World in every Century but if I may presume to speak my mind I declare that those who said this had never seen any unless it were in the land of Tapestry tho 't were vouch'd by Claudian or Lactantius Firmianus I saw the Skin of Apuleius's golden Ass I saw three hundred and nine Pelicans Item Six thousand and sixteen Seleucid Birds marching in Battalia and picking up stragling Grashoppers in Corn-Fields Item Some Cynamologi Argatiles Caprimulgi Thynnunculs Onocrotals or Bitterns with their wide Swallows Stymphalides Harpies Panthers Dorcas's or Bucks Cemas's Cynocephalis's Satyrs Cartasons Tarands Uri Monops's or Bonasi Neades Stera's Marmosets or Monkeys Bugles Musimons Byturos's Ophyri Scriech Owls Goblins Fairies and Gryphins I saw Mid-Lent o' horseback with Mid-August and Mid-March holding its Stirrups I saw some Mankind-Wolves Centaurs Tigers Leopards Hyena's Camelopardals and Orix's or huge wild Goats with sharp Horns I saw a Remora a little Fish call'd Echineis by the Greeks and near it a tall Ship that did not get o' head an inch tho she was in the Offin with Top and Top-gallants spread before the Wind I am somewhat inclind to believe that 't was the very numerical Ship in which Periander the Tyrant happen'd to be when it was stopt by such a little Fish in spight of Wind and Tide 'T was in this Land of Satin and in no other that Mutianus had seen one of them Fryar Ihon told us that in the days of Yore two sorts of Fishes us'd to abound in our Courts of Judicature and rotted the Bodies and tormented the Souls of those who were at Law whether noble or of mean Descent high or low rich or poor the first were your April Fish or Makerel Pimps Panders and Bawds the others your beneficial Remorae's that is the Eternity of Law-Suits the needless Lets that keep 'em undecided I saw some Sphynges some Raphes some Oinces and some Cepphi whose fore-feet are like Hands and their hind-feet like Man's Aso some Crocuta's and some Eales as big as Sea-horses with Elephant's Tails Boar's Jaws and Tusks and Horns as pliant as an Asse's Ears The Crocuta's most fleet Animals as big as our Asses of Mirebalais have Necks Tails and Breasts like a Lyon's Legs like a Stag's have Mouths up to the Ears and but two Teeth one above and one below they speak with human Voices but when they do they say nothing Some people say that none e're saw an Airy or Nest of Sakers If you 'll believe me I saw no less than Eleven and I 'm sure I reckon'd right I saw some left-handed Halberts which were the first that I had ever seen I saw some Menticores a most strange sort of Creatures which have the Body of a Lyon red Hair a Face and Ears like a man's three Rows of Teeth which close together as if you join'd your hands with your fingers between each other they have a Sting in their Tails like a Scorpions and a very melodious Voice I saw some Catablepas's a sort of Serpents whose Bodies are small but their Heads large without any Proportion so that they 've much ado to lift them up and their Eyes are so infectious that whoever sees 'em dies upon the spot as if he had seen a Basilisk I saw some Beasts with two Backs and those seem'd to me the merriest Creatures in the World they were most nimble at wriggling the Buttocks and more diligent in Tail wagging than any Water-wagtails perpetually jogging and shaking their double Rumps I saw there some milch'd Craw-fish Creatures that I never had heard of before in my Life and these mov'd in very good order and 't would have done your heart good to have seen ' em CHAP. XXXI How in the Land of Satin we saw Hear-say who kept a School of Vouching WE went a little higher up into the Country of Tapistry and saw the Mediterranean Sea open'd to the Right and left down to the very bottom just as the Red-Sea very fairly left its bed at the Arabian Gulph to make a Lane for the Jews when they left Egypt There I found Triton winding his silver Shell instead of a Horn and also Glaucus Proteus Nereus and a thousand other Godlings and Sea-monsters I also saw an infinite number of Fish of all kinds dancing flying vaulting fighting eating breathing billing shoving milting spawning hunting fishing skirmishing lying in Ambuscado making Truces cheapning bargaining swearing and sporting In a blind Corner we saw Aristotle holding a Lantern in the Posture in which the Hermit uses to be drawn near St. Christopher watching prying thinking and setting every thing down Behind him stood a Pack of other Philosophers like so many Bums by a Head-Bailiff as Appian Heliodorus Athenaeus Porphyrius Pancrates Archadian Numenius Possidonius Ovidius Opianus Olympius Selenus Leonides Agathocles Theophrastus Demostratus Metianus Nymphodorus Aelian and five hundred other such plodding Dons who were full of business yet had little to do like Chryfippus or Aristarchus of Soli who for eight and fifty years together did nothing in the world but examin the state and concerns of Bees I spy'd Peter Gilles among these with an Urinal in his hand narrowly watching the water of those goodly Fishes When we had long beheld every thing in this Land of Satin Pantagruel said I have sufficiently fed my Eyes but my Belly is empty all this while and chimes to let me know 't is time to go to dinner Let 's take care of the Body left the Soul abdicate it and to this effect let 's taste some of these Anacampserotes that hang over our heads Pshaw cry'd one they are meer Trash stark naught o' my word they 're good for nothing I then went to pluck some Mirabolans off of a Piece
not to sow 'em altogether so early as they do on this side for it is not warm Weather so soon with you as here They may very well sow your Sallads twice a year that is to say in Lent and in November and they may sow the white Cardes or Thistles in August and September the Melons Pompions and the others in March fencing them for some days with Mats and a thin Layer of Horse-dung not altogether rotten when they fear it will freeze Many other Grains besides are sold here as Alexandria Gilliflowers Matronal-Violets and Shrubs with which they refresh their Chambers in the Summer call'd Belvedere and other Physical Herbs But this would be more for my Lady d'Estissac's turn If you please to have of all sorts I will send them you without fail But I am forc'd to have recourse again to your Alms for the Thirty Crowns which you order'd to be paid me here are almost gone yet I have converted none of them to any ill use nor for eating for I Eat and Drink at my Lord Cardinal du Bellay's or at my Lord of Masc●n's But a great deal of Money goes away in these silly Postage of Letters Chamber-rent and wearing Apparel tho I am as frugal as I can be If you will be pleased to send me a Bill of Exchange I hope I shall make use of it wholly to your Service and not remain ungrateful I see in this City a thousand pretty cheap things which are brought from Cyprus Candia and Constantinople If you think fit I will send what I think fittest of them to you and my Lady d'Estissac The Carriage from hence to Lyons will cost nothing Thanks be to God I have made an end of my business and it has cost me no more than the taking out of the Bulls his Holiness having of his own good Nature given me the Composition And I believe you will find the Proceedings right enough and that I have obtain'd nothing by them but what is just and lawful But I have been oblig'd to advise very much with able Counsel that every thing might be according to due form and I dare modestly tell you that I have in a manner hardly made use of my Lord Cardinal du Bellay or my Lord Embassador tho out of their kindness they not only offer'd me their own good Word and Favour but absolutely to make use of the King's Name LETTER XIII My Lord I Have not as yet presented your first Letters to the Bishop of Saintes for he is not yet return'd from Naples whither he went as I writ to you before He is expected here within these three days Then I will give him your second and intreat an Answer of it I understand that neither he nor the Cardinals Salviati and Rodolph nor Phillip Stozzi with his Money have done any thing with the Emperor in their Affair tho they were willing to pay him a Million of Gold upon the Nail in the Name of all the Foreigners and Exiles of Florence also to finish la Rocca the Fortress begun at Florence to maintain a sufficient Garison in it for ever in the Name of the Emperor and to pay him yearly an Hundred thousand Ducates provided and upon Condition he restor'd them to their former Goods Lands and Liberty On the contrary the Duke of Florence was most honourably receiv'd by him at his arrival the Emperor went out before him and Post manus oscula he order'd him to be attended to the Castle of Capua in the same Town where his Natural Daughter has an Apartment she is affianc'd to the said Duke of Florence by the Prince of Salerne Viceroy of Naples the Marquiss de Vast the Duke D'Alva and other Principal Lords of his Court He held discourse with her as long as he staid Kiss'd her and Supp'd with her afterwards the above-mention'd Cardinals the Bishop of Xaintes and Strozzi never left solliciting The Emperor has put them off for a final Resolution to his coming to that Town to the Rocca which is a place of prodigious Strength that the Duke has built at Florence Over the Portico he has caus'd an Eagle to be painted with Wings as large as the Sails of the Wind-mills of Mirebalais thereby declaring and insinuating that he holds of no body but the Emperor And in fine he has so cunningly carried on his Tyranny that the Florentines have declar'd before the Emperor nomine Communitatis in the Name of the Commonalty that they will have no other Lord but him 'T is certain that he has severely punish'd the Foreigners and Exiles A Pasquil has been lately set up wherein 't is said To Strozzi Pugna pro patriâ Fight for thy Country To Alezander Duke of Florence Datum serva What 's given thee keep To the Emperor Quae nocitura tenes quamvis fint chara relinque Quit what will hurt thee tho 't is ne'r so dear To the King Quod potes id tenta Dare what thou canst To the Cardinals Salviati and Rodolph Hos brevitas sensus fecit conjungere bines Pure want of Sense unites these Blocks As petty Tradesmen joyn their Stocks LETTER XIV My Lord I Writ to you that the Duke of Ferrara is return'd from Naples and retir'd to Ferrara Her Highness the Lady Renee is brought to Bed of a Daughter she had another fine Daughter before between Six and Seven years of Age and a little Son of Three years old He could not agree with the Pope because he demanded an excessive Sum of Money for the Investiture of his Lands Notwithstanding he had abated fifty thousand Crowns for the love of the said Lady and this by the Solicitations of my Lords the Cardinals du Bellay and Mascon still to increase the Conjugal Affection of the said Duke towards her This was the occasion of Lyon Jamet's coming to this Town and they only differ'd for Fifteen thousand Crowns but they could not agree because the Pope would have him acknowledg that he held and possess'd all his Lands intirely in see of the Apostolical See which the other would not For he would acknowledg no more than his deceas'd Father had acknowledg'd and what the Emperor had adjudg'd at Bolonia by a Decree in the time of the deceas'd Pope Clement Thus he departed re infectâ without doing any thing and went to the Emperor who promis'd him at his coming that he would easily make the Pope consent and come to the Point contain'd in his said Decree and that he should go home leaving an Embassador with him to sollicite the Affair when he came on this side and that he should not pay the Sum already agreed upon before he heard further from him The Craft lies here that the Emperor wants Money and seeks it on all hands and Taxes all the world he can and borrows it from all Parts When he comes hither he will demand some of the Pope 't is a plain case For he will represent to him That he has made all