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A55793 A new way of conference being a dialogue, betweene Patrick Pastgrace a Papist, and Peter Pleadwell a Protestant. Fild with mirth, and varnisht with modesty. By Laurance Price. L. P. (Laurence Price), fl. 1625-1680? 1641 (1641) Wing P3380; ESTC R219509 3,026 14

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A New way of Conference Being a DIALOGVE Betweene PATRICK PASTGRACE A PAPIST And PETER PLEADWELL A PROTESTANT Fild with Mirth and varnisht with Modesty By Laurance Price LONDON Printed and are to bee sold by Richard Burton at the Horse-shooe in Smithfield 1641. A Dialogue betwixt a Papist and a Protestant Protestant WHat my old acquaintance Patrick how fares your body you look like one that came lately out of purgatory what hath your holy Dame Pope Ione hanted your Ghost Papist Why Peter I sée you will never leave your old knavery while your tongue will wag and that I thinke was made of 〈…〉 I 'le tell thée t is as easy a thing to sée thee without a gybe in thy mouth as t is to see a Tinker without a trull at his héeles Protestant Why dost thou thinke I mock thee Papist I cannot tell what you call mocking but if the lair word that thou spokest of should come to his holinesse eare they would curse thée by Bell Booke and Candell Protestant Let them curse mee and spare not for their curses will flee no further then their eyes can see Papist Art thou not asham'd to scandalize such a worthy company of reverend Prelats holy Fryers religious Nuns and their followers Protestant Hey hey what have you got a Pope in your belly too 〈…〉 this is pretty sport indeed but I 'le tell thee one thing for thy comfort Patrick thou must either in plaine tearmes forsake the Pope or shake hands with the hangman Papist Dost heare me Peter if than didst know in much as a●y doe know thou wouldst not refuse to goe twenty miles on thy bare feets to heare Masse Protestant Fy fy fy prethee stand further from mee thy cloathes stinkes of knavery thy body of baudery and thy breath of popery Papist What what what 's the newes now are you in your rime doggrell 〈◊〉 if I catch you a rimeing I 'le rime with you Protestant Begin of thou dar'st Papist To read our Ledies salter And bee washt in holy water Is that I desire Protestant If thou hadst thy desart Thou shoulds bee tyed in a Cart Or bee burnt in the fier How like you of that friend patrick Have you any more stomack to rime Papist Yes faith I 'le have to ther od rime if it cost mee a grote Protestant Well to 't then patrick begin againe Papist The Popes Bulls and Crosses Will pay all the losses That in England have been Protestant Not before such as thee And thy curst companie At the Gallowes bee seene Papist Fy Peter now thou hyt shame too deepe yet I 'le try the other veny if thou canst worst me at the next bowt then spare me not good Peter Protestant VVhy then please your selfe and wee are all pleased begin once more Papists Auy Maries and Creeds Crucifixes and Beads I will never forsake them Protestants No more will your Sex That doth England so vex Till the hangman do take them Papist Come come I sée thou art too hard for me at riming and therefore le ts fal to our former discourse againe Protestant I say still as I said at first please one and please all Papist Nao but Peter as I take thee for a man of discretion I also know thee to hée a newes-monger therefore prethée tell me some newes Protestant VVhy Patrick did I not see you yesterday in divers places of the City as namely did I not see you in the morning in Cheapside amongst the Gold-smiths at noone in the Exchange amongst the Gallants at foure a Clock amongst the Brokers in long Lane and at night in a baudy ouse and would you learne newes of me Papist Why Peter shou know'st I hate a Band worse then I hate a Turke Protestant But patrick I thinke thou lovest a whore better then thou lovest a Christian and therefore doe thou tell the newes Papist Must I needs tell the newes why then pray thee Peter heare me and I will tell thee such newes which hath even made me starke staring-borne mad Protestant Prethee patrick speake on for such newes I long to heare Papist Why then I 'le tell thee Peter as a friend yester-day a little while after thou hadst seene mee it was my fortune to meets with one singing who with a loud voyce chanted forth in the last of thin moneth such a mornefull dity as made the very haire of my head stand an end to heare him I would my wife Besse had heene there for hi● sake Protestant VVhat would shee have done Papist Shée would have either pincht him by the eares scracht him by the f●●e or pick out his eyes and had it not beene for feare of the Law I would have stab'd him with my knife Protestant Why then I perceive you stand in feare of the hangman but what was the song that did so much molest thy mind Papist Faith I cannot well remember the beginning out but the concusion was this Now let the Masse Priests be jogging together To Rome or to Tyburne let them chuse whether Protestant And art thou angry with the ballet singer for singing that song Papist I mighty angry Protestant Shall I tell thée Patrick I thinke it to bee the best Song and 't is like to bee the truest Song that was song in London streets this twise twelve moneths Papist Shew mee a reason Peter Protestant Why this is the reason our Nation have beene so grosely abused by Masse Priests Jesuits and Recusants and such like troublesome persons which have caused strangers to hate us neighbours to laugh at us and our owne friends to fight with us Papist Are friends so foolish as to fight one with the other Protestant No but that such knaves as thou art are willing to set them together by the eares Papist pray thee good Peter and friend tell me without jesting how this may bee and if any fault remaines in mée I will doe the best indeavor to amend it and I trust that all my friends and acquaintance will doe the like and run hand and hand with the proverb every one mend a little Protestant Since you are in such a good minde I will not put you by but will tell you my mind this I am sure of that all that are of your sex and will not be reform'd must depart out of our Kingdome Papist What quite out of England what if we depart the City and live thirty miles from it Protestant That will not serve your turne our Kings Lawes will meete with you Papist Why then 〈◊〉 ●…y fly into Yorkshire and he frée from danger Protestant Nay then you are like to the fish which leapt out of the fryingpan into the fire for there the bony Scots will have you by the loggs and besides all this the Papists have playd such prankes in England of late which puts us in mind of eighty eight the yeare before when there came such an invincible navy of Ships that they appeared like a mighty Forest of trees upon the sea wherein they brought hookes to hang men up by the joules Knives to out our throats and whips of steel to whip 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 death Papist Why these were not English Papists they came from Spayn Protestant For any thing I know the English Papists may be ful as bad if not worse thā Spaniards further more in the happy and peacefull raigne of our dread Soveraigne Lord King Iames when his Majesty had cal'd an assembly together of the chiefest noble Lords and peers of our Kingdome O what a damnable plot was there layd for the destruction and overthrow both of our King and Kingdome Papist Why these were sent from Rome Protestant I thinke they were sent from Hell for I am sure they brought fire-workes with them but to conclude in a word I 'de wish thee to be as good as thy word either to amend thy life or else depart England Papist Why what course would you have me to take Protestant First I would have 〈…〉 ●erve God in every thing and next obe● Charles our gracious King see that thou do●t thy ne●…hbour love and God will of thy works aprove Papist In my heart I am over joyed with thy Christian like councell and I thinke a happy time that we met together and thus much more I tell ' thee thou shalt see a speedy reformation in me if God say amen so for this time farwell good friend FINIS