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A33522 A fruitfull and usefull discourse touching the honour due from children wherein both the respective duties of children to parents and of parents to children are cleared from Scripture, together with what may either further or hinder the same ... / by Thomas Cobbet. Cobbet, Thomas, 1608-1685. 1656 (1656) Wing C4777; ESTC R29964 162,603 256

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joyes and delights as of the kingdome of grace here so of that of glory hereafter so in Deut. 30. 15 19. I set before thee life Rom. 8. 6. To be spiritually minded is life Act. 11. 18. Repentance unto life Psal 36. 9. With thee is the fountaine of life John 3. 36. He shall not see life CHAP. II. Of Honour in generall due to Parents HAving explained the words of the 5. Commandement shewn the weight of the duty therein injoyned to Children we now come to make further inquiry into the duty it self which we shall consider of in the method propounded 1. More Generally 2. More particulaly First then of Honour of Parents in a generall consideration wherein we shall 1. Consider what kind and manner of honour this honour of Parents so generally considered must be 2. Make some uses thereof To the first inquiry we answer 1. Honour not due to Parents which is 1. In way of dishoner to God Negatively what Honour is not due to Parents 2. Affirmatively what manner of Honour is due In a negative way we say the Honour of Parents 1. It must not be in any way of dishonour to God either by sinnes of Omission or of Commission Children must not so respect esteem and love Father or Mother as to love and prefer them in their respects to the Lord. He that loveth Father or Mother more then me is not worthy of me saith Christ Matth. 10. 37. Children may not be so transported with affection to Parents as thereby to be hindered from a call of Christ or attending upon it As he in Luk. 9. 65. when called to follow Christ would have gon first and buried his Father but vers 60. is answered by Christ Let the dead bury their dead but go thou and preach the Kingdome of God or as the other in Luk. 9. 61. that would ingage to follow Christ but he would first bid farewell to those at home namely Parents Kindred c. But Jesus Christ accounteth such inordinacy of affection in those who professe to set their faces towards heaven to be a looking back to the world and the like and therefore vers 62. Jesus said unto him No man having put his hand to the Plough and looking back is fit for the Kingdome of God Children may not have such carnall affection to Parents or be so glued to them as not to be able to part with them and forsake them and deny themselves in them for the sake of Christ when they are thereunto called The Spouse of Christ Solomons Antitype must forget her Kindred and Fathers house for her Lords sake and nearer Communion with him Psal 45. 10. Children may not so love Father or Mother as out of respect to them to forsake Christs truth or faith or to imbrace any thing contrary to the faith or truth of Christ a sin too common amongst the Children of Papists and other Heretiques and Opinionists this is also to love them more then Christ Better that the Daughter in such a case of Christs faith and truth be at variance against the Mother that she contend even with her for Christs truth for the faith once delivered to the Saints that she beat down with all her might the Mothers errors and evils In which case also Christ saith Matth. 10. 35. He commeth to set a man at variance against his own Father and the Daughter against her Mother He that more desireth after his Parents presence then after the Lords or more delighteth in them then in the Lord himself or is more moved in their causes then in the Lords or is more troubled for them and their disgrace then for the Lords dishonour or the like he doth not honour his Parents according to Gods mind and heart yea he that comparatively and where the love of Father or Mother and the love of Christ are not compatible where the condition and case is so qualified that love to Parents and love to Christ become flat contraries and must one give place to the other one or the other must be laid aside in such a case He that hateth not his very Father and Mother cannot be Christs Disciple Luk. 14. 26. In such a case Godly zealous Levi is commended Deut. 33. 9. Who said to his Father and his Mother I have not seen him The like might be said in that honour of Reverence and Fear Children may not be so afraid of Parents or of their frownes or blowes or distastes or disinheritings c. as not to be afraid of Gods displeasure but to adventure that in some way of sin rather then run the hazzard of ● Fathers or Mothers displeasure Christ 〈…〉 his Mothers displeasure or rebuke so as 〈◊〉 her sake to omit any duty to God his Father or to neglect his heavenly Fathers business 〈◊〉 in answer to that check of Maries Luk. 2. 48. Son why hast thou thus dealt with us behold thy Father and I have sought thee sorrowing he sayth vers 49. Wist ye not that I must be about my fathers business 〈◊〉 was a notable speech of that Pagan Priest C●r●alus being to sacrifice and at the same time required to come away to his Father he boldly answered He must first dispatch the duties of publick Religion or of Religion which was of publick Concernment and after that those of private piety to Parents Children must indeed honour their Parents Counsels and Commands with the honour of obedience and observance yet not so as in a way of dishonour to God to neglect what he requireth or to do any thing which he forbideth Ahaziah King of Judah is branded for this 2. Chron. 22. 3. That he walked in the waies of the house of Ahab for his Mother was his counsellour 2. It must not be in way of Inaequality to either Parent The Father is not to be preferred 2. With In equality to either Parents by the Child as a Child before the Mother or the Mother more loved reverenced obeyed or recompensed then the Father The Parents are equally Parents and equall causes of the Children and so by the law of nature as Parents they are to share equally in the honour of such instrumentall causes of the be ing of their Children Hence though in Exod. 20. 12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother the Father is set before the Mother yet in Lev. 19. 3. which is an exposition of the 5. Commandement the Mother is set before the Father Yee shall fear every man his Mother every man his Father to shew that the Father being set before the Mother for honour which comprehendeth fear and the Mother being set before the Father for fear which is a speciall branch of honour they are both alike for honour in the generall and for fear in speciall This Willet in his sixfold Commentary upon Leviticus and Ainsworth in his notes upon Levit. 19. 3. They both do note from Maimony So Musculus in his common places and exposition of this fifth Commandement he
and no difference twixt parent and child yea too many there are who carry it proudly disdainfully and scornfully towards parents and it s well if their very parents escape their flouts but what the end of such graceless children will be we have shewed from Prov. 30. 17. Again how are many children ready to chop it with their parents and as we say to chop logick with them it may be so daring are they as to bid their very parents hold their tongue as some profaner ones have done or how ever if not going so high yet giving to parents very cross curt and curst answers As Jacobs sons did sometimes to him Gen. 34. 31. should he deal with our sister as with an Harlot like the elder son in the Parable who even chideth and checketh his Father for entertaining his younger brother better then him Luke 15. 29. Again how frowardly and discontentedly do many children carry it to their Parents no diet no clothing no lodging and the like which parents can provide for them will content them but as if parents were beholding to them or that they had wronged their children and must seek to please them if they knew how Like the Elder son in the Parable which findeth fault with his usage by his Father as so much below his serviceableness to him And are there not too many children who are ready to mutter and grumble at their parents counsels commands just threats rebukes or corrections yea will not some plainly contest and contend with their parents as Rebecka's daughters-in-Law who by such like unreverent carriages made her even weary of her life Gen. 26. 35. with 27. 46. they were a grief of mind 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the septnagint renders it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 such as did contend or were contentious or rebellious how little also do too many children dread their parents commands counsels prohibitions reproofs or corrections how little do they fear the loss of their favour or blessing or the incurring of their just displeasure or curse how little care they whether they be contented and comforted in them and in what they say or do or otherwise be troubled and discouraged and in all how shameless are they but all such as you are do proclame to all the world that there is no fear of God before your eyes as it is evident in Cain Hophni and Phinebas and other such graceless children whose just doome will be to be as Cain and as is threatned to graceless persons that they shall be in fear where no fear or cause of fear is Psal 53. 5. shall flee when none pursueth them Prov. 28. 1. and for the want of this due fear of parents if you repent not eternall dread and horrour will be your portion in another world 2. It serveth to reprove parents who any way 2. Of Parents undermining this their Honour 1. By contemptible carriages undermine this filial awe and Reverence which your children owe unto you and that 1. By carrying it any way contemptibly and unbeseeming your selves in your childrens sight as did Noah first by being drunk and then by uncovering his nakedness within view of others this gave occasion to Chams unreverent speeches of him unto his brethren Gen. 9. 21 22 23. C ham saw the nakedness of his Father in his tent and went and told his brethren without when parents are frothy slighty foolish or any way ridiculous in their gestures speeches or actions before their children this breedeth or feedeth contempt and irreverence in their children Look as the very conceit of unseemly behaviour in David that Father of the state made Michol despise him her heart and speak unreverently of him with her lips 2 Sam. 6. 16 20 21. How glorious saith she scoffingly was the King of Israel to day who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the hand-maids of his servants as one of the vain fellows shamelessely uncovereth himself the like will any reall discovery of morall or spirituall nakedness before the Family become an occasion to children and servants to despise the Father of the Family 2. By being too fond of your children or too familiar 2. By overmuch fondness and familiarity with them at sometimes at least not keeping constantly your due distance such fondness and familiarity breeds and causeth contempt irreverence in children Good Abraham was somewhat too fond of Ishmael as appeareth by his overlooking the promise of Isaac and going on to urge God that Ishmael might live in his sight Isaac was too fond of Esau when he loved him so for his venison Gen. 25. 28. David was too fond of his Absolom that when he was justly banished for his wilfull fratricide and deserved death rather for it yet Davids soul longed or was in a wasting plight as it is in the Hebrew to go forth unto Absolom 2 Sam. 13. 39. but what unreverent children all these proved to their Parents their stories shew 3. By complying too much with any vain motions 3. By sinfull compliance with children of your children this was a sin in the Mother of James and John who had so ambitious a motion to make to Christ Mark 10. 35. that she would move it for them Matth. 20. 20 21. she commeth desiring that her two Sons may sit one at his right hand the other at his left hand in his kingdome David would never cross Adonijah in his desires or doings he never displeased him at any time in saying why hast thou done so 1 Kings 1. 6 but Adonijah careth not to cross his Father in his mind of one to succeed him in his throne even Solomon and yet Adonijah knew well enough it had been publickly and sufficiently declared formerly as in 1 Chron. 23. 1. and 28. 5. yet 1 Kings 1. 5. he exalteth himself and saith I will be King and vers 7. he conferreth with Joab and Abiathar about it for their help therein 4. By reproachfull and reviling speeches to 4. By rayling upon children your children in rashness of anger and fury or by any other uncivill or unseemly expressions of rage against them as flinging things at them which might indanger life or limb or the like this provoked Jonathan to say and do somewhat savouring of unreverence to a Parent 1 Sam. 20. 30. thou son of the perverse and rebellious woman saith Saul his Father to him and v. 33. he cast a Javeling at him and v. 34. Jonathan arose from the Table in fierce anger some unwise Parents at some times will be over-familiar with their children and at other times as much too harsh and fiery against them and by such an unequall carriage come to be slighted by them The second use serveth for exhortation and 2. Use for exhortation 1. To children to Reverence Parents that 1. To children Do you then strive what in you lyeth to give this Honour of Reverence both outward and inward which is due to your Parents And for this end
Honour of Respect Reverence Obedience and Recompence to Fathers of our flesh and such carrying of it so by Children as it redoundeth to parents honour as we have largely declared O what Honour of Respect Reverence Obedience and holy Recompence to him and what manner of carrying of it so as may redound to his Honour doth God expect from you his Chldren to whom he is not only a Father of your Spirit or Soul as he is to all others but a Covenant-Father If God require that to Parents from their Children upon pain of life and death he much more requireth this from you his Covenant and Church-Children upon pain of loss of eternal life and undergoing eternal death But is that the Honour of Respect which you who are degenerate Children give to this your Father to have no desire of the knowledge of his wayes As it is said of that degenerate generation in Job 21. 14 15. whether those in Jobs own time or those before the floud of whom Job 22. 15 16 17 18. but to wish rather what those wretches there mentioned that God might depart from you in respect of any such motions which he maketh and convictions and restraints upon your Spirits which sometimes you meet with and to take no delight at all in God in his word worship wayes daies government Saints and Servants Or is this the honour of Reverence which you give him to be awless fearless of his presence when you are in his house when at Prayer with your Parents or the like and to be constantly fearless of his displeasure or of sinning against him Or is this the Honour of Obedience which you give him to obey the motions of your own hearts lusts of your Companions of Seducers and of the very Divell himself but as for Gods charge or Commands you make light of them So that God may say of you as he did of that degenerate generation of old and speak of it as inter horrenda Hear O Heavens and give ear O earth for the Lord hath spoken I have nourished Children and they have rebelled against me the Oxe knoweth his owner the Ass his Masters Crib but Israel doth not know my people doth not consider Ah sinfull Nation Children that are corruptors they have forsaken the holy one they are gone away backward Isa 1. 2 3 4. And as Isa 30. 9. This is a rebellious people lying Children Children that will not hear the law of the Lord. Or is this the honour of holy Recompence which you should have rendered to him for all his benefits towards you to depart from him to vex and provoke his holy Spirit which is striving with you as he was with that degenerate generation in Gen. 6. 2 3. to corrupt your selves as did that other generation mentioned Deut. 32. 5. whose spot was not the spot of Children or of right-bred children of God who were a crooked and perverse generation Surely God may and doth say to you as he did by Moses to them vers 6. Do you thus requite the Lord O foolish people and unwise is not he thy Father that hath bought thee hath not he made and established thee finally is this your being an honour to God your heavenly father to cause the name of God to be blasphemed and the way of truth to be evill spoken of for your sakes as it may be said of you which was said of those degenerate Jewes Rom. 2. 23. Thou that makest thy boast of the law through breaking of the law dishonourest thou God vers 24. For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you when such as you are by your vile speeches carriages opinions or courses of life shall occasion the prophaner sort or enemies to God and his Church Ironically to say as they of old did of those degenerate Jewes Ezech. 36. 20. These are the people of the Lord So by your meanes others now a daies to say of you Yea these are your younger generation of the Church these are those that are in the Covenant of grace these are your Church-members these are they which in their Infant-Baptism were devoted to the faith and worship of Father Son and Holy Ghost these are the brood of such Puritan Ministers and other precise followers and the like blasphemous sarcasmes wherin the Lords precious name together with his Truth Covenant Saints and Servants are also vilely reproached Again as such Children are Gods Servants and Children so they are by externall calling Covenant and Church Interest his subjects also Of them is Gods kingdome Luk. 18. 16 17. Now for His Subjects such as you are who are the subjects of the Lord thus to break your Oath or Covenant of Allegiance and to reject his goverment over you by his Word Spirit or Discipline like those degenerate Jewes who said of the promised Messiah Jesus Christ We will not have this man to rule over us Luke 19. 27. Hereby you do but rebel against your Lord and Soveraign and what is rebellion but as the sin of witchcraft 1 Sam. 15. 23. even a hellish execrable and damnable crime But to proceed to the other branches of the evill of sin in this degeneration of such Children In which we shall be more brief 2. Hereby you become breakers of Covenant 2. It is a breach of Covenant with God with God with whom you are confederate Yea you hereby tear off the very seal of the Covenant even your Baptism Thus God when telling Moses how that people would degenerate he saith Deut. 31. 20. They would break his Covenant so Isaiah charging the degenerate generation in his daies also with their sin he saith Isa 24. 5. They have transgressed the Lawes they have broken the everlasting Covenant And as for invalidating after a sort of the Covenant-seal thereby you may see it in those degenerate ones mentioned even now Rom. 2. 25. If thou be a breaker of the law thy Circumcision which to them was the seal of the Covenant and of the righteousness of faith as Baptism is to us Gen. 10. 11 13. Rom. 4. 11. is made uncicumcision and so ineffectuall It is as it were torn off and trampled under foot through that sin of theirs Now if this be so heinous a thing with men to break Covenant with Princes to tear off tread under foot their broad seals how evill is this in Gods sight and if that breach of a Covenant made before God even with a tyrant by Zedechiah were so grievous to God that as Ezech. 17. 15 16 17. he saith Shall he escape that doth such things or shall he break Covenant and be delivered So I may say here to these degenerate Children of the godly shall such as you are escape the fiery displeasure of God that do such things or shall you that break Gods Covenant be delivered from wrath to come no assuredly unlesse the Lord give you repentance unto life And consider of it in the fear of God
in the way of wisdome namely instructively I have led thee in the right paths namely exemplarily the like holy advantage did they make of that counsel and doctrine of their Fathers Psalm 144. 1. and David likewise maketh advantage of his Mothers interest in God Psalm 86. 16. and Psalm 116. 18. Now if this be a talent it must be accounted for one day and Children had need look that they make answerable returnes Parentall nurture and admonition and Christian education is an holy advantage to such Children above others that want the same As being Gods ordinance for Childrens best welfare as was shewed before When Solomon had charged his Son to keep his Fathers command and not to forsake the Law of his Mother Prov. 6. 20. verse 23. he addeth this reason for the commandement even of a godly Father is a lamp and the Law even of a godly Mother is light and reproofs of instruction given by Parents also to Children are the way of life Prov. 29. 11. The rod and reproof give wisdome namely as Gods appointed means in the use whereof he will give it to Children Godly examples are also very forcible and helpfull hence the godly are said to be blessings in all places where they are cast Isa 19. 2. As Husbands may be wonne to God good while they behold the Godly and wise conversation of their wives 1 Pet. 3. 1. So may a child by the gracious example of godly Parents yea such children have the superadded advantage of their good Parents and Ancestours Covenant interest Prayers and blessing Gen. 49. 26. The blessings of thy Father saith Jacob to his Son Joseph have prevailed above the blessings of my Progenitors every godly Ancestour and Parent contributeth something to the Childs blessed stock besides the blessed advantage which such Children have to be an Honour to God and to their Parents by the very Entail of grace by Promise and Covenant of God from their Parents unto them Deut. 30. The Lord will circumcise thine heart and the heart of thy seed to love him c. and Isa 59. 21. The word and spirit in the mouth of the Ancestours is promised to the suceeding Children let Children then of the Church of the godly look you husband this holy advantage the rather to Gods and godly Parents Honour 2. In that the posterity of Papists and Mahumetans will follow the tract of their parents instructions and examples and will by no means depart therefrom and shall not such children as you are much rather follow your godly teaching and leading Parents without departing from their blessed counsels and examples God forbid any should do otherwise 3. In that otherwise if you will not do thus to the honour of your godly parents verily then all the blessed words which your good parents have urged and charged and that as from God by their parentall authority upon you their children they will come in another day as evidences against you according to that phrase concerning Gods word delivered by Moses to the Israelites and by them to be commanded to their Children successively in case of their Apostacy it 's said this Song shall be Gods witness to testifie against them Deut. 31. 19 21 26. Touching the helps to further you in being such an honour to godly parents they may be such as these 1. Take heed of what tendeth to dishonourable degenerating and Apostacy from the gracious counsels and examples of your godly Parents and Ancestors and for this end take heed of 1. corrupt principles or practices in Religion for they tend to Apostacy hence the Apostacy of those hopefull beginners in 2 Pet. 2 19. 20. whil'st corrupt libertine principles are distilled into them and imbraced by them they are intangled again and fall off 2 Tim. 21. 16 17. Timothy must avoid such profane and vain bablings such the Apostle termeth their false doctrines because they tend to ungodliness and their word and doctrine like a Canker eateth out the heart and life of Religion where it taketh 2. A worldly spirit that causeth degenerating in hopefull persons that hopefull young man in Mark 10. 20 2● was spoiled by it so was Saul Judas Ananias and Saphira Demas and all those professors which so far out-go those of the high way and stony hearers even those of the thorny soyl they come to be choaked by the thorny cares desires occasions and contentments of the world so that no fruit of theirs ever commeth to perfection 3. Pride this ushereth in even this fall also instead of him whose bea rt is lifted up in Hab. 2. 4. it is in Heb. 10. 35. if any man draw back the one ushereth in the other let Children hopefull ones specially beware of this 4. Wantonness under outward prosperity plenty peace liberty civill and sacred Deut. 32. 11. Jesurun waxed fat and kicked turned against God So those Nehem. 9. 22 26. Hence God warneth them then to take heed that when in Canaan they have all they can desire in a manner that then they forget not and forsake not the Lord Deut. 8. 10 11 12 13 14. let the posterity of the godly here and elsewhere take heed of this spirituall wantonness which ushereth in Apostacy 5. Bad matching this caused Jehoram good Jehoshaphats Son so vilely to degenerate namely his matching into wicked Ahabs stock 2 Chro. 21. 1 2. bad wives out-landish women caused even wise Solomon to sin and for a time to degenerate Nehem. 13. 26. let young persons especially take heed of this 2. Let such Children of the Church of the godly engage themselves personally in solemn wise before the Lord and his people also as well as privatly to walk according to God and those godly counsels and examples of their good Parents and Ancestors and by his strength and help never to turn away there from good Ruth did so privatly when she so solemnly vowed before God and her Mother-in-Law that she would go with her be with her partake in weal and woe with her own her God and people and only them for hers and nothing but death should hinder the same Ruth 1. 15 16. whither thou goest thither I will go thy God shall be my God and thy people my people God do so to me and more also if ought but death part me and thee she engages implicitly to all honour of her both direct to honour her with all honour of respects reverence obedience and recompence and reflectly to be an honour to her also all which may be very well gathered out of that speech of hers as I might particularly evince but I forbear Nehem. 10. 28 29. the Children of the Church there their sons and daughters that could understand as well as their Parents came publickly to enter into an oath and curse to walk in Gods Laws to observe and do all his Commandements and if Churches would call upon their Church Children who are of understanding personally to renew the Covenant of God made by their Parents on their behalf such a bond would the more engage and unite their hearts by the Lords blessing to the good wayes and things of God to his and their Parents Honour 3. Let such Children according as the Lord helpeth them eye and plead with God his own words undertaking this in effect that they shall walk after the blessed precepts and practices of their godly Parents and Ancestors and so be an honour to them this is held forth in that promise of God made with reference to his Kingdom and Church in all Nations amongst the Gentiles Psal 22. 27. with vers 30 31. their seed as the Geneva reads it shall serve him it shall be counted to the Lord for a generation they shall come and shall declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born that he hath done this if God undertake that this seed of Gentile-believers shall hold up Religion after their Parents and convey it to their next generation what can godly Parents desire more for their Children or their children desire for themselves they shall hereby greatly honour God his truth wayes and government and greatly honour their godly Parents their instructions examples and prayers beside that good that will thereby come to themselves and their own souls and posterity also O let such children then intrench themselves within this and such like blessed strong holds and places of spirituall refuge And so at length we have dispatched our discourse about this so necessary a subject and the blessing of our gracious God be upon it FINIS Imprimatur Edm. Calamy 30. March 1655.