would keep it selfe for thee when thou wouldst neither knock that it might be opened to thee nor seeke that it might be found of thee Health thou know'st well commeth not from the clouds without seeking nor wealth from the clods without digging And yet Heaven must be got without knocking or seeking But great prizes are not to bee so purchased For as Heavens Gate is straite and few there be that enter so are our tribulations to be many that we may be of that few that shall enter But I heare thee now cry out as one that had some sense of his sinne and of the losse hee has incurred by sinne Woe is mee I cannot looke upon this Earth I tread on without blushing nor can I thinke upon Death without sorrowing nor the day Iudgement without trembling nor of Hell without shaking nor of the joyes of Heaven without astonishing For Earth I loved it so well and well might I blush at my selfe for for bestowing my love so ill as the remembrance of Death became sorrowfull For by it I understood how I was to be brought to Iudgement of all others most fearefull and from thence as having nothing to answer in mine owne defence I was to bee haled to Hell a place disinall and dolefull And consequently to forfeit all my title and interest in Heaven which could not chuse but astonish mee being a place so joyfull This I like well in thee for this knowledge of thine infirmity may bring thee to look for remedy and by degrees to find recovery loyne then with mee and offer up thy prayer to the Throne of grace that He in his mercy would looke upon thee Gracious God though I bee altogether unworthy to lift up mine eyes unto heaven or to offer up my prayers unto thee much lesse to be heard by thee yet for his merits and mercies sake who sitteth at thy right hand and maketh intercession for me reserve a place in thine heavenly Kingdome for mee Deare Lord in thine House are many Mansions O bring me thither that I may joyne my voyce with those voyces of the Angels and sing prayses to thee who sittest in the highest Heavens for ever CHAP. 70. With the Remembrance of these Hee becomes afflicted in Spirit O But yet I find my soule like dry ground where no water is wheresoever I turne mee I find affliction and misery on all sides encompassing mee O what shall I doe where shall I fly to For behold while I take my selfe aside from the world into some with-drawing roome purposely to forget the world and prepare my selfe for the joyes of a better life while I say I beginne to commune with my owne thoughts in the secret Chamber of mine heart I become so affrighted with the representment of those foure last Remembrances as I wholly forget what I intended to speake my tongue beginnes to cleave to the roofe of my mouth my spatle is dryed within mee those active faculties of my soule leave mee and mine understanding departeth from mee O Death Death How bitter is the remembrance of thee O how mee thinkes thou summons mee and like a surly Guest breakest in upon mee nay uninvited resolvest to lodge with mee And presently I feele my selfe wounded and so mortally as not to be cured O how my divine eye-sight now darkneth my painting breast beateth my hoarse throat rutleth how my teeth by little and little grow black and draw to them a kind of rust how my countenance growes pale and all my members stiffe how every sense and faculty failes how my wasted body threatneth a speedy dissolution yet desires my poore soule to bee a Guest still though there be cold comfort to bee found in such a for lorne Inne but what are all these terrors of Death to that fearefull day of Iudgement when at the sound of the Trumpe all flesh shall rise where none may be exempted but all judged O me Death is nothing unto this For what comparison betwixt a Death temporall and eternall And such shall be the sentence of every Reprobate amongst which I the chiefe O how terrible will that great Iudge appeare to such as in this life would neither be allured by his promises nor awakened with his judgements O how dolefully will that voyce sound in their care Depart from me I know you not And how ready will that officious Iaylor bee upon the delivery of this heavie sentence to hale them to ulter darkenesse a place of endlesse torments where the cursings and howlings of Fiends and Furies shall entertaine their melodious â—are ougly and hideous sights shall entertaine their lascivious eye loathsome stenches their delicioâ—â— smell sulphur and brimstone their luscious taste graspings and embracings of snakes their amorous touch Anguish and horror every sense where those miserable damned soules shall be tormented both in their flesh and spirit In their flesh by fire ever burning and never decaying and in their spirit by the worme of Conscience ever gnawing and never dying where there shall bee griefe intolerable feare horrible filth incomparable death both of soule and body without hope of pardon or mercy And now to cloze with the last the losse whereof exceeds our sufferings in all the rest O to consider how I unhappy I have not onely got Hell the Lake of horror and misery but lost Heaven the place of endlesse joy and felicity O what heart can consider it and not resolve it selfe into a Sea of teares in contemplation of it For what may the wretched soule thinke when she lifteth up the beames of her mind and beholdeth the glory of those immortall riches and withall considereth how shee has lost all those for the poverty of this life O how can shee bee lesse then consounded with anguish how can shee doe lesse then rore forth in the affliction of her Spirit Againe when shee shall cast her eyes below her and take a full view of the vale of this world and perceive how it was but as a mist and presently looking above her admires the beauty of that eternall light shee presently concludeth that it was nothing else but night and darkenesse which shee here loved O how shee fainteth faltereth and fruitlesly desireth that shee might but have some small remainder of time allotted her what a sharpe course what a severe manner of conversation would shee take upon her what and how great promises would be made by her with what strict bonds of devotion would shee seemingly tye her But this must not bee granted her as shee had her full of pleasures here so must shee now bee tormented for ever O how my Spirit with the remembrance of these becomes afflicted O who will heale mee for I am wounded O my gracious and deare Lord out of thy boundlesse compassion looke upon my grievous affliction Kâ—epe â—ot silence at my teares for I am a tranger with thee and a so journer 〈◊〉 al my Fathers I have none to fly unto but thee and
ground where no water is so has shee thirsted after thee And now Lord that I may present my selfe before thee with more humility I will ever set my imperfections before mee remembring what good I have omitted when I had opportunity to doe it againe what evill I have committed when the remembrance of thy mercy might have declin'd me frâ— it Amongst which let me now call to mind those Blessings thy gratious goodnesse ha's pronounced to every faithfull follower and then examin my selfe whether I deserve or no to be listed in that number CHAP. 40. Blessed are the poor in spirit for for theirs is the Kingdome of Heaven HVmility is the Path that leadeth to glory There is no vertue that can subsist without it This may be one reason why the very first Beatitude is grounded on it But what are we to learne from hence Not to be high-minded but of an humble and meeke Spirit In suffering dishonour for the honour of our Saviour In possessing our Soules with patience In mitigating wrath with mildnesse In relinquishing himselfe in preferring others before himselfe In judging well of others but worst of himselfe In wishing unto others as to himselfe In rejoycing in nothing but in the Crosse of Christ yet unfainedly suffering with those who suffer for Christ. Now return and accompt proud Pilgrim whether there appeare any tokens of this poor spirit in thee Hast thou not ever reteined a good opinion of thine owne worthlesse worth Hast thou not beene of a Contentious spirit Hast thou not answered reproach with reproach Hast thou not beene more ready in defending thine owne honour then advancing the honour of thy Saviour Hast thou not beene so farre from possessing thy Soule in patience as thou couldst not endure the least affront without much violence Hast thou with soft words mitigated wrath Nay hast thou never suffered the Sunne to set upon thy wrath Hast thou in an humble contempt of thy selfe preferred others before thy selfe Nay rather hast thou not with the Spirit of contradiction opposed thy judgment against others and out of a foolish presumption made an Idol of thy selfe Hast thou in the Scale of Charity preferred others before thy selfe or rather hast thou not rashly judged others in thine heart and in thy too strict examination of him concluded with that proud Pharisee I am not as this man is In a word hast thou judged well of others but worst of thy selfe or wished unto others as to thy selfe or rejoyced like a faithfull Champion in the Crosse of Christ or like a compassionate Member suffered with those who suffer for Christ O no nothing lesse can I finde in my selfe unhappy Pilgrim I have ever held a poor spirit in contempt and an unsit Companion to take acquaintance of in this World How then deare Saviour may I expect an inheritance in the Kingdome of Heaven who am so farre estranged from a mild Spirit on Earth O my Lord incline thine Eare to my petition Renue a right spirit within mee so shall I be endowed with what delighteth thee by accounting a meek spirit a spirituall beauty and after this life through thy mercy become inheritour of that Kingdome which thou hast prepared for those that love thee CHAP. 41. Blessed are the meeke for they shall possesse the Earth HEre is a promise that the meeke shall possesse the earth and yet is it hard to find a spirit truly meeke upon the Earth By which thou maist gather poor Pilgrim that there is another Earth besides this Earth wee here tread on which shall bee given for a possession to the meeke That desired Earth prepared onely for such who have wained their desires from earth This is a Land which floweth with better things then Milke and Honey An heavenly Havilah where the purest Gold is to be found nay where the very Streetes are Paved with Gold the Walls are of pretious Stones the Gates are made of the best Margarites those many Mansions founded of square stones built of Saphires arched over with golden Bricks which none must enter but he that is cleane none must inhabit that is defiled Where then must thy possession be in this Land of promise what Mansion maist thou expect in this Holy City Woe is mee I am uncleane I am uncleane from head to foot there is nothing in me but boyles sores and runnings How may I then looke there to receive any Mansion seeing to a Cleane Lord is required a cleane Habitation How may I thinke that my Master will looke on mee who all my life time have observed least what hee commanded most practised nothing more then what he prohibited neglected nothing more then what hee commanded How may I expect from his hands a blessing or this promised possession of that earth who never shewed so much as the least meeknesse upon earth Yet did that meeke Lambe who became an offering for me leave such a patterne unto mee that if I were not wholly unmindfull of my soules honour nor wholly forgetfull of the love of such a Master I could not chuse but after his example become his meeke and obedient Follower For his whole life was a Mirror of meeknesse seeing from the Cratch to the Crosse he suffered all things patiently beare all reproaches meekely to reach unto thee from the tree of his Crosse a Crowne of glory O my Redeemer imprint this meeknesse of thine in my memory let it never depart from me put a meeke and mild answer into my mouth when any one shall revile me Let me referre my cause unto thee and that with such Christian Charity as I may sincerely pray for mine Enemy and in meekenesse of spirit to imitate the example of that meeke Lambe who with so resigned a will became a Sacrifice for mee CHAP. 42. Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted THat wise Preacher could say It was better going to the House of mourning then to the house of rejoycing And yet how little did this admonition worke upon thy thoughts How pleasant have those Consorts of death those Brethren in evill seem'd unto thee How merrily the houre went away Nothing was wanting to make your delights more complete but that you wanted time to make your follies more complete Full cups merry Songs prophane Oathes were the onely Actors that presented themselves in this expence of time A long night soone past over but not so easily accounted for But tell me thou misguided Pilgrim were 't thou as quick in thy visits to the house of mourning didst thou labour to comfort the comfortlesse Didst thou mourne with those that mourn'd or with a tender Christian heart suffer with those that suffer'd O no! shall I rather tell thee what thou hast done Thou hast rejoyced when others mourned taken content when others suffered Nay if at any time thou mourned'st it was such as God himselfe was provoked with it For thou either immoderately mourned'st for the losse of thy friend and so
THE PENITENT PILGRIM Few and evill have the dayes of my life been Gen Cap 47. v. 9. LONDON Printed by John Dawson 1641. THE PENITENT PILGRIM PSAL. 66. 16. Come and hearken all yee that feare God and I will tell you what he hath done to my soule LONDON Printed by Iohn Dawson and are to be sold by Iohn Williams at the signe of the Crane in Pauls Church yard 1641. TO THAT IMMACVLATE LAMBE CHRIST IESVS THE SOLE SAVIOUR AND RECEIVER OF EVERY PENITENT SINNER HATH THIS POORE PILGRIM HUMBLY HERE PRESENTED THESE HIS PENITENTIALL TEARES The Summe or Graduall Symptome of the Penitent PILGRIM CHAP. 1. THe poore Penitent Pilgrim bemones his present sinfull condition 2 His comming into Idumaea the companions hee consorted with there 3 How his owne Meniâ—y became his deadliest Enemy 4 His encounters with the world 5 His Combat with the flesh 6 What Assaults hee suffered by the Divell both in company aâ—â—â—rivacy 7. Three Engines by his spirituall Enemy reared that his Fort might be razed 8. The Concupiscence of the flesh 9. The Concupiscence of the eyes 10. The pride of life 11. How neither the Law of Nature nor Grace could call him home from his wandring course 12. Hee takes a view of the whole Decalogue and hee scarce finds in it one Commandement wherein either in part of in all hee has not beene a most grievous Delinquent 13 Hee examines himselfe touching the First Commandement 14 His breach of the Law touching the Second Commandement 15 His transgressing of the Third in prophaning Gods name 16 His dishonour to Gods Sabbath 17 Hee confesseth how this bloody issue of sin streamed forth likewise into a breach of the second Table and first of disobedience to his parents 18 His contempt of the second in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour 19 His contempt of the Third in playing the Wanton 20 His breach of the Fourth in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour 21 His breach of the Fifth in suppressing testimonies to witnesse a truth or suborning witnesses to maintaine an untruth 22 His dis-esteeme of the Sixt and last in coveting what was anothers and desiring to increase his owne with the losse of others 23 Hee takes a view of those seven spirituall works of mercy and acknowledgeth his failings in each of them 24 Teaching the ignorant 25 Correcting the delinquent 26 Counselling the indigent 27 Comforting the afflicted 28 Suffering injuries patiently 29 Forgiving offences heartily 30 Praying for his Persecutors fervently 31 Hee takes the like view of those seven corpor all works of mercy and acknowledgeth likewise his failings in each of them 32 Feeding the hungry 33 Giving drinke to the thirsty 34 Harbouring the harbour lâ—sse 35 Cloathing the naked 36 Vâ—siting the sick 37 Visiting redeeming the captive 38 Burying the dead 39 With sorrow of heart he remembers those eight Beatitudes whereof hee hath deprived himselfe by giving entertainment to sin 40 Blessed are the poore in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven 41 Blessed are the meeke for they shall possesse the Earth 42 Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted 43 Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse for they shall be satisfied 44 Blessed are the mercifull for they shall obtaine mercy 45 Blessed are the cleane in heart for they shall see God 46 Blessed are the Peace-makers for they shall be called the children of God 47 Blessed are they that suffer persecution for righteousnesse sake for theirs is the kingdome of heaven 48 How seven Guests under a colour of lodging with him sought his undoing 49 Pride 50 Covetousnesse 51 Lechery 52 Envy 53 Gluttony 54 Wrath. 55 Sloath. 56 How by their treacherous assault his Cinque ports become endangered 57 Sight 58 Hearing 59 Smell 60 Taste 61 Touch. 62 Being thus encompassed with danger â—ee 〈◊〉 himselâ—e for 〈◊〉 63 〈…〉 prayer and in every particular he finds himselfe a great Offender 64 Hee renders a private accompt of his Faith and in every Article of the Creed he finds a fainting failing weaknesse and want 65 Having thus examined himselfe and found in the whole course of his life a fainting in faith and failing in works He recals to mind those Quatuor Novissima oâ— Foure lasâ— Remembrances Memorials hourely necessary for all Christans 66 Death 67 Iudgement 68 Hell 69 Heaven 70 With the Remembrance of these He becomes afflicted in spirit 71 Faith appeares vnto him with a cheerefull presence affording him comfort in his affliction 72 Hope seconds that comfort 73 Charity promiseth him in this vaile of misery to cover all his scarlet sinnes with the white robe of mercy and by keeping her company conduct him safely to the kingdome of glory 74 He takes comfort And now wearied with sojourning longer in Idumaea he turnes to Canaan 75 The poore peniteut Pilgrims last Will and Testament His Funerall Obsequies The Pilgrims Prayer LOoke upon me deare Father thy poore Penitent Pilgrim I confesse Lord I confesse that if thou shouldst deale with mee according to my iniquity there were no hope at all left to me of mercy For what houre in all my life since my first entrance into this life wherein I have not in some manner or measure nay above all measure become a grievous transgressour But there is mercy with thee and therefore art thou fearedâ— mean time I of all others have greatest cause to feare for abusing thy mercy I have plentuously tasted of thy love and considering it I have many times resolved to become a faithfull convert and zealous observer of thy Law But these faire promises clâ—sed in a weake performance No sooner was therâ— the least opportunity offâ—red me of sinning then it found in me an easie impression Pregnant was I in conceiving prompt in consenting and prone in committing Yet Lord when I was going down evento the gates of hell left I should enter in thou held me And when I drew neere the gates of death lest they should receive me thy grace prevented me Whence I perceived by the influence of thy sweet Spirit whereby I became enlightned that whensoever I fell it was through my owne frailty but wheÌ„soever I rose it was through thy great mercy Yea I foundthee ready in every opportunity to afford me thy helping hand in my greatest necessity When I wandred thou recalled me when I was ignorant thou instructed me when I sinned thou corrected mee when I sorrowed thou comforted me when I fell thou raised me when I stood thou supported mee when I went thou directed me when I slept thou kept me when I cried thou heard me Nay shall I more fully declare thy good nesse towards me If after these few but evill dayes of my pilgrimage even now when the keepers of the house tremble and the strongmen bow themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and they waxe darke that looke out by the windowes if I say after these many too many
mis-spent dayes I abuse thy gracious patience no more with fruitlesse delaies but with my whole heart repent me for offending thee thou forthwith sparest me if I returne thou receivest me â— nay if I deferre my returne so my delay make me not presume thou waitest for me Thus doth thy mercy reclaime me straying invite me withstanding expect me foreslowing embrace me returning Thus hast thou taught me when I was ignorant comforted me when I was desolate raised mee from ruine restored me after my falling bestowed on mee begging found by me seeking and opened to me knocking And shall I bee forgetfull of these Nay Lord let my right hand sooner forget her cunning nay may I rather become razed out of the Booke of the living then I become forgetfull of thy gracious dealing I will returne then unto thee with a sorrowfull heart but with wings of hope because â—rom thee commeth my helpe I know Lord Because of unrighteous dealing and wrongs and riches gotten by deceit the Kingdom is translated from one people to another Deare Lord great sins require deepe sighes as I have beene infinite in sinning may I be incessant in sorrowing that sowing in teares I may reape with joy in the day of my translation THE PENITENT PILGRIM CHAP. 1. The poore penitent Pilgrim bemones his present sinfull condition O Draw neer me doe not turne your eyes from mee but looke upon mee the poorest penitent Pilgrim that ever sojourned in Idumaea O woe is mee that my Habitation is prolonged O woe is me that I have dwelt so long with the Inhabitants of Kedar Hence it is that mine house is become full of blacknesse no Guest but Sorrow lodgeth in it because the woful'st sinfull'st wretch that ever breathed is the owner of it O woe is mee where shall I turne me If to Heaven my sinnes become as bars to shut me from it Nay I have highly provoked his wrath who is commander of it If to Earth I find my selfe wholly unworthy that it should beare me having already so long born with me by bearing with that iniquity which it hath so long time received from me If to Hell O there I find the just portion of my inheritance a place sitting to punish my wickednesse I find Tophet prepared of old and for old Transgressors Such as have made an old League with the Old-man Such as have no acquain tance with the New-man And such an one am I of all others the most miserable man who have made my selfe an Alien to Sion because so wholly naturalized to sinne Worthily then may all the Elements fight against mee Nay all Gods Creatures professe themselves Enemies to mee because I have imagined mischiefe in my heart against Him who made both them and me Retire then sinfull soule poor comfortlesse soule and recollect thy selfe a little Leave the Company of men and hye thee to the waters of Marah Leave the world and fly into the Wildernesse Let thy dwelling bee with the Pellican and the O strich with the mournefull Turtle or the Sparrow on the house-top Let thy Musicke bee as the Chattring of the Crane As thine eye was the sense of sinne so let it bee the sense of sorrowing Never had poore Pilgrim more cause O my Redeemer make me sensible of my present state CHAP. 2. His comming into Idumaea The companions hee consorted with there YOung and so very young I was when I first came into Idumaea as my tender age required a Guardian to manage my youth And divers good and gracious Consorts there were whom at the first I received into my acquaintance And with these I lived for a little time familiarly and bettered my selfe much by their company But alas for griefe I continued not long with them Other Companions drew me from them Those good and vertuous ones betooke themselves as I thought to a course of life too strict for my loose affection to follow I felt the Spirit of youth ryoting within mee Those devout tasks which before I observed begun now to bee intermitted I held a sober regular life too eremiticall private retired walkes too stoicall I thought with my selfe how I had staied too long in the Tyring-house I must now shew my selfe upon the Stage where I played the Prodigals part to life for I bestowed my whole life upon the action of that part when I saw a Thiefe I followed him and with the Adulterer I divided my portion I bestowed the day in variety of follies and a great part of the Night in a delightfull remembrance of those follies Let us prepare our selves said one for the spoile and I had an hand as ready to further it as hee to demand it Let us drinke wine in bowles and carouse till our eyes be red let the day care for it selfe while the day of our life admits no care Let us take our full of pleasure said the wanton let our delight be in dalliance and I followed the stepsâ— of the whorish woman though her wayes led to death And I delighted my selfe in the company of the Drunkard yet had I read and the more my sinne not to reâ—eine To whom was woe to whom sorrow to whom strife to whom murmuring to whom wounds without cause and to whom rednesse of the eyes Even to them that tarry long at the wine to them that goe and seeke mixt wine And I had heard too nay my experience of others miseries had inform'd me too How because of the whorish woman a man is brought to a morsell of bread and how a woman will hunt for the precious life of a man And yet I considered not these things nor applied them to my heart but like the foole to the Stocks I laughed while I perished I sported in my misery and knew nothing how Ismael played with me O my Redeemer looke upon me in mercy and give me a sensible apprehension of my misery CHAP. 3. How his owne Meniey became his deadlieâ—t Enemy TOo true have I found that Proverbe Who can have a worser friend then he brings with him Foes I had without Feares within but my bosome friends I found ever to bee my busieâ—t foes And what lesse could I expect then that my bosome friends should prove my deadliest Foes being receivers and Abetters of my bosome sins O what disorderly passions raged nay raigned in me what divided thoughts of hope and feare were ever encountring me In my prosperity feare of adversity wrought upon me in my adversity hope of prosperity seazed on mee Neither did either of these conditions well content me for as thoughts of the one made mee proud so a conceit of the other made me impatient Now what hourely affronts did I suffer by my owne while I stood thus pursued by them I found nothing on earth worthy my desire yet were my crawling desires so fast glued to earth as if they had no other Heaven to aspire to Naturall Philosophy had sufficiently taught mee in my minority that