especially by the assistance of a Glass which changed the common prospect of the World and made all things appear with their natural defects though disguised with the Mask which Fraud had put on them for so ought every one to behold this World withan eye different from the vulgar view and to understand things in the same Notion that the wise Count d' Oniate apprehended them When you see a presumptuous Opiniator believe him a Fool the Rich suppose Poor in respect of those true Riches of Felicity He who commands all is the common Slave the Man that is biggest is in bulk not much a Man the gross and fat have but little of substance he that would seem to be deaf hears more than he would and the Acute-sighted is Blind or will be so He that smells out much leaves a bad savour of himself in the Nostrils of all the Talkative speaks nothing he who Laughs raves with fury who excuseth condemns himself who Eats most Eats least who discommends the Merchandize desires it most who acts the Fools part is the wittiest Comedian who wants nothing wants himself the Covetous enjoys equally that which he hath not as what he hath the greatest Clerk is seldom the wisest Man who desires a good Life desires a good Death and he who loves life most most abhors it who invites his Friend to a plentiful Table is he that causes him to fast Folly is often seen in good Conjectures the most straight is crooked he that goes the nearest way home goes the farthest about who would not lose one mouthful loseth a hundred the best which cost most is best cheap he who makes thee weep is thy best Friend In fine that which one affects most and esteems the greatest is the most unworthy and of the smallest value With this discourse they eased their tedious steps which insensibly passed away till the encounter of another Monster interrupted them which now did not as formerly astonish nor distract their thoughts for they had learned that they must in this World expect to meet diversities of Prodigies one after another For now came towards them a Coach which was not usual in so bad a Road but being made so artificially and with such nimble Joints it passed through all rubs streights and difficulties the Beasts that drew it were two flea-bitten Jades like Serpents and the Coach-man a Fox Critilo asked if it were not a Venetian Chariot to which the Coach-man replyed in a manner far from the purpose as if he understood not what he demanded within rode a Monster or rather many for so often changed he his colour and shape sometimes black anon white then young anon old sometimes Great sometimes little then a Man a Woman a Beast that Critilo soon discovered him to be the famous Proteus Proteus As soon as he came near them he alighted from his Seat and with more bows and cringes then a young French Monsieur which are the Prologues to deceit and then with more Complements then an Aragonesa welcomed them in behalf of his great Master offering them the convenience of his Palace where they might ease and refresh their Bodies already wearied with so long a Journey They both having returned their thanks for so unexpected a favour demanded who was his Lord who in so small knowledge of them and their deserts had so courteously obliged them He is says he a mighty Prince whose Territories though they extend over the compass of the World yet keeps the famous Metropolis of his Court in this first entrance of the Earth and Life He is a Monarch more great than any in that Kings are his Feudataries and Vassals and few there are who unsubdued by his power pay him not Tribute for besides the flourishing estate of his Kingdom in Peace and Plenty it is the Academy of Arms and Learning and rewards the most forward Proficients herein let him who would understand the root of Policy Artifice and Cunning Outward Appearances apply himself to this Court where he shall learn to thrive and pass in the World to insinuate into the affections and favours of advantagious Acquaintance and both win Friends and preserve them and especially to cloak and disguise things with fictitious colours which is the Master-piece and most useful Lesson of Art and Knowledge This Report was perswasion enough for Andrenio to visit his Greatness and to be educated in a Court or School rather of so much Policy and being overcome with his Civilities stept into the Coach reaching out his hand to draw in Critilo but he being more cautious and experienced than the other turned again to demand the Titles and Name of this mighty Prince who being so great as Fame had reported could not but be adorned with Titles and Honours equivalent to his Dominions His Titles answered this Officer are many summing up a Catalogue of Names and Surnames run over multitudes of Appellations and told him that every part of his Territories and successes of his noble Atchievements had inserted new Titles into the List of his Honours but his most natural and original name is not vulgarly received being his Majesty and Greatness admits few to see him much less to know him he is a King of much Authority not to be reckoned amongst the petty number of Provincial Princes but one of great State whose retirement and difficulty of access renders his person more awful and reverenced At the end of Lustrums or some period of years his Courtesie admits the longing curiosity of some to his presence which is a blessing of their Fortune and excess of his favour with this discourse he had insensibly drawn them out of the way into another Path more intricate and crooked which when Critilo observed he was desirous to return from whence he had erred before it was too late but what with the windings and turnings of the Road and with the perswasion of the Guide who confidently assured them of his knowledge of the way and the multitude of the Passengers that they saw travelling therein he had much ado to retreat back Howsoever Critilo made a stop here and coming to a way with three Paths was doubtful which way to take and therefore warned Andrenio to be now careful of himself and more watchful and cautious then ever before For being now come to the Fountain of Thirst The Fountain of Thirst. so named from the longing thirst of those travellers that were enamoured with its Fame for its curious invention exceeded the Works of Iuanelo and the continual current of its Waters was the celebrated Theme by heroick Poesie Though the head arose and bubled in the greenness of an open Plain yet such was the concourse and croud that pressed to obtain a draught of this stream that the wide and large Champion round about seemed too narrow to receive the multitude of Visitants for such was the number that encircled this Fountain and swelled with the excess of the sweet
one day on the Quarter-deck entertaining each other with discourse and with the prospect of the Seas he surprized me unawares and threw me into the Sea and that he might cover this Treachery he called out too late for assistance to save my life At his call came his Mariners and my Friends who desirous to help me threw out their Cables and Ropes but all in vain for my slow Arms not being able to follow the swift Sails of the flying Ship I was left striving with the Waves and Death but one of those Planks which they threw out as the last hopes and means to preserve me was my sacred anchor and support which the compassionate Waves presented to my innocence the desperate yet wellcome refuge of my lost hopes the which I kissing said On thee will I lay my self the Coffin of this Body Having thus small hopes to reach the Ship I suffered my self to be carried by the Waves and my own Fortune which not contented to reduce me unto this point of extremity but venting the rest of her tyranny called all the Elements to conspire against me in such a Tempest as if her intent was not only to destroy me but first to exercise on me all the train and solemnity of miseries The Waves sometimes tossed me so high that I feared to be dashed against the Points of the Moon or bruised against the Heavens anon I descended to the Centre of the Earth and again raised to that heigth that I feared more to be burned with the heat of Heaven than drowned in the Waters of the Sea But as these rigours of which I have so much complained have gratiously been converted into favours so the blustering storms have sometimes broke up in a mild calm for miseries often times have so exceeded and so over-acted and strained their part that misfortunes themselves have passed into blessings I tell you this because the fury of the Tempest and current of the Waters so violently carried me that in a few hours I came to the sight of this little Isle for otherwise it had been impossible for me before I had perished with cold and hunger to have steered my Vessel without Oars or Sails or Rudder unto this place which is your Country and my Heaven but in the Bad consisted the Good my courage helping me more than my strength I sheltered my self in the Port of your Arms in which I desire a thousand times more to be embraced and to confirm our friendship to all eternity In this manner Critilo gave an end to his Relation and embracing each other they renewed their first enjoyment finding within themselves a mutual simpathy of love and contentment They passed the rest of their Voyage in profitable exercises and besides their pleasing discourses which were all but a continued Lecture of Instructions he taught him some knowledge of the World and the Rudiments of those Arts which inspire and enrich the Soul as History Cosmography the Sphere and chiefly that which most becomes a Man namely Moral Philosophy but that to which Andrenio was most intent and studious in was to learn the Tongues as Latin that eternal Treasury of Wisdom Spanish as universal as its Empire the courtly French and eloquent Italian which he made use of as Keyes to open that Treasure which is inclosed in them and sometimes for his convenience and use to pass over the various Countries of the World The curiosity Andrenio had was as great as his docility so that he was always conferring and asking concerning the Provinces Republicks Monarchies and Cities and of their Kings and Governors still improved himself with as much delight as novelty desiring to arrive at the highest point of Wisdom and Understanding In this pleasant employment they contentedly passed the tediousness of this Voyage who at their usual time arrived in this part of the World Whose various successes and events are related in the following Crisis The Third CHRISIS The Entrance into this World NAture hath dealt subtly if not fraudulently with Man by decoying him into the World in a condition of Ignorance for he enters in obscurity and blindness and begins to live before he is sensible of his life or knows what it is to live his fond childishness is husht with every trifle and lulled asleep with a toy She makes him believe that she hath led him into a Kingdom of felicities which prove but miseries to enslave him which when the eyes of mans judgment discovers he finds himself defrauded and engaged without remedy placed in that dirt out of which he was formed and can now only trample on it and endeavor on the best conditions to escape I am perswaded were it not for this universal Policy none would upon such hard conditions adventure to tread this deceitful World were they forewarned of those difficulties they were to undergo For who being first acquainted with these infallible inconveniencies would rashly precipitate himself into this feigned Kingdom and true Prison wherein to suffer both multitudes and varieties of punishments as in the body hunger thirst cold heat nakedness grief infirmities in the mind deceits persecutions envies contempts dishonours melancholy fear anger desperation and at the end of all to escape out by the passage of a miserable Death with the loss of our goods houses honours friends parents nay of life it self which then flies from us when we most pursue it Nature knew well what she proffered and what evil man accepted For he who were aware of this condition would rather then pass these miseries step at once from his Cradle to his Urn or from his Marriage-bed into his Grave The tears which he drops at his Birth are common presages of his succeeding miseries The happiest that are born to great Inheritance enter but on a sad Possession and the Musick which wellcomes this King Man into the World is composed of his own cries and tears which fore-run his troubles and denote the future unhappiness of his Kingdom For what can that life be to which the groans of his Mother give a Being and the weepings of the Child which receives it though he hath no knowledge to conceive his misfortunes hath yet a Prophetick spirit to divine them We are now said the wise Critiâ—o to the unexperienced Andrenio arrived in the World when they first disembarked and stept on the Sands of Spain I am sorry that your Understanding so ripe enters into this Country for thereby you must needs be most sensible of the dissatisfaction and emptiness of things whatsoever the supream Artist hath undertaken to perform hath been compleated in the greatest heighth and measure of perfection but the invention of man hath begun what he can never be capable to perfect What God hath orderly disposed the unquietness of man to the farthest extent of his power hath strained it self to trouble and confound and what through his inability he could not reach his working fancy hath endeavoured to disorder You have seen hitherto
the other entertain her and are possessed with her though they are ignorant of it In this inquisitive search Wisdom met him not he her and gave him this true information Unfortunate wretch said she whom seekest thou or why searchest thou any other then thy self Dost thou not know that he who seeks Deceit shall never find it its nature lies in being concealled and in once discovering it it is no more the same get thee to the House of some of those who deceive themselves for from them it is never absent And so it proved for entring into the House of the Confident the Presumptuous the Covetous the Envious at last he found it but much disguised and painted over with the colour of Verity he communicated to her his misfortunes his affronts the disgusts of the World and expected from her as an Oracle some remedy and ease of his discontents Deceit looking well upon him said thou lookest like the Picture of ill-luck thy ill-favoured countenance speaks thee so and yet thou art worse then what thou seemest notwithstanding be of good courage for neither my diligence nor policy shall be wanting in this in which I am glad to find occasions wherein to manifest to the World my power O! how well we two are matched Be couragious for if the first step in a Cure is to find and discover the root of the Disease I have done the like in your grief and know the cause and original of its arise I know and feel the pulse and temper of Men though they are ignorant of me I know on which foot the ill arbitrement of their Will halts and goes lame for believe me thou art not abhorred because thou art evil but because thou appearest so these Thorns embroidered on your Coat make Men afraid and so start at them which changed for Flowers would give a kind invitation to all to follow you leave but all to my management and in a short time the World shall adore you and your Brother fall into the common disgrace I have already thought the way and with that taking him by the hand they went both together into the House of Fortune whom after Fraud had saluted with the usual Complements Fortune said that she had need of a Guide as being blind Whereupon Fortune's Son offered this Fraud for her service declaring the conveniencies and advantages she might receive by it and running into high commendations of the Youths towardlyness and discretion that he knew more tricks and evasions then the Devils Scholars and above all that he desired no other pay or reward then his own Merits Fortune accepted the profer and admitted Fraud to her House which is the whole World Upon this all things began to forsake their usual conrse nothing remained in its proper Centre nay the very course of time it self Fortunes Guide was diverted with an unknown motion for this Guide or Conductor of Fortune directed her always contrary to her intentions if she desired to bless the head of the Vertuous with her presence the unlucky Boy wantonly led her to the house of the Vitious when necessity or conveniency required her haste he stopt her progress when slowly she should move he fixed her Wings to fly and so shuffled changed and confounded her Actions that all went preposterously disordered the Gifts and Favours she should bestow on the Wise became the undeserved Blessings of Ignorance and the Cowards Brow was encircled with the Lawrel of the valiant Conqueror and so changed her hands that she unjustly bestowed both happiness and misfortunes on those who least deserved them Thus she strikes out of season when neither time nor subject requires it she wounds the Pious and Vertuous and with a back-blow of Poverty knocks down the wise and industrious and to the fraudulent and deceitful gives her hand with all promises and protestations to make them as prosperous as now we see them How often have her blows erred and unhappily fallen on those whom all bewailed she destroyed Don Balthasar of Lunniga when he should have begun to live also the Duke of Infantado the Marquis of Aytona and other Worthies when the unstable condition of that Age most required their Government and Prudence to support and conduct it she gave a back blow of Poverty to Don Luys of Gongora and to Augustin of Barbosa and to other eminent Men when she ought both to have crowned their years and actions with reward and yet this unlucky Boy excused himself that these Men like unseasonable Fruit came out of time their age being in the reign of Leo the Tenth or of Francis King of France not in the corrupt years of this present age What affronts hath she done to the Marquis of Torrecuso and afterwards triumphed in saying had he not done something in War he should quickly have been forgotten By another shot her Bullet erred in hitting Don Martin of Aragon though the Crime was so evident that she could not but confess her fault Again she seemingly consented to honour Azpilgueta Navarro with a Cardinals Hat for his liberal Endowments of a famous Colledge but sporting with him one day at Hotcockles she gave him such a blow on the Hand as struck him to the ground and whilst a Chorister came to help him up the unlucky Boy laughed saying that such as these have no need to live whose Memory and Fame shall never die to others we continue life indeed who humbly receive it and thankfully repay it She had great thoughts of favouring the Monarchy of Spain with much happiness and success Spain and in reward of their Catholick Christianity to bestow on them the Indies and other Kingdoms with many Victories but instead hereof both Fortune and her Guide leaped on a sudden into France to the amazement of the whole World which piece of unconstancy she excused by saying that the Race and Seed of Spains former Worthies was quite extinct that France was no longer to be accounted rash and unconsiderate but wise setled and firm to her principles and to conceal the hatred which her Malice bears to Piety she consented to the success of the Venetian Republique in some Conquests against the Ottoman power Venice obtained by their own Valour A Miracle indeed that the World hath admired The Otoman Family till the reason she gave cleared the wonder saying she was tyred in carrying the Ottoman success up so steep an Ascent by meer force whilst they neither contributed thereunto either by Wit or Industry in this manner all things were shuffled together fortunes and misfortunes were confounded and rested on the heads of those that least deserved or expected them The Plot being now ripe to be executed it was observed that at night when Fortune undressed her Sons for none she would trust with this office of disposing their Cloaths but with great care ordered it her self and laid them in several places that she might not mistake when she cloathed her Children again
Deceit was very active to take advantage on the present opportunity and changed the place of their Cloaths those of ill fortune into the place of good and those of good into the place of bad In the morning Fortune as unwary as blind cloathed Vertue in the Garment of embroidered Thorns and made Vice gallant with his elder Brothers Flowers which being set out in the Sophistries of deceit made so glorious a lustre and beauty that all the World adored his footsteps and entertained him both in their Houses and Hearts believing it was Vertue they then received and though some at the cost of their own experience told and informed others of the Error yet few believed them for seeing Vice to be so gallant and gentile they could not be perswaded to judge amiss of that which they so much affected Since that day Vertue and Vice have been confounded and the World deceived for those who embrace Vice with low thoughts of Sensuality The beginning of Vice have speedily found themselves deceived and too late entertained thoughts of repentance But on the contrary those who being undeceived have closed with Vertue though the Thorns of his Garment have prickt and tormented them at the first embraces yet at the end they found the fruit of true content The Ends of Vertue and lived in the serenity of a calm Conscience How flourishing and fair seems their own beauty to some and how deformed after and disfigured with a thousand infirmities how wanton is Youth but how soon doth time benumb their Joints how plausible doth Dignity appear to the Ambitious and the weight of Government to be eased by estimation Changes Burdens but afterwards how burdensome do they find it and how to their shoulders faint under so heavy a pressure How pleasing do the Cruel imagine revenge and bathe themselves in the Bloud of their Enemies but afterwards their whole Life is pangs and pricks of Conscience to him whose Stomach cannot disgorge the draughts and surfets he hath made in Bloud Even stolen water is sweet and the rich is pleased to trample on and make a prey on the poorer Yet aftewards with how much violence is he compelled to make restitution Let the Glutton surfet himself in his curious Diet and please his Palate with delitious Wines but what satisfaction can these make for his Plethory of Body from whence proceed Dropsies and Gouts which twinges his Joints and enfeebles the Nerves of his whole Body The Lascivious will not loose his sensual copulation though he buyes his delight with the price of his own Body The Covetous embraces thorns in his Riches which torment and disturb his sleep and looseth his Heart in them without enjoying of them All these design to bless their Families with the pleasing appearance of delight which indeed is but a concealed evil and not a contentment but a torment and a deserved reward for their fond mistake But contrarily how difficult and steep is the ascent to Vertue at first yet afterwards what satisfaction is there in a good Conscience With how much trouble do we undergo an abstemious Temperance and yet in that consists the health both of Soul and Body How intollerable appears Continence and yet in that we enjoy Life Health and Liberty He who contents himself with Mediocrity lives the humble possesseth the Earth and makes his enemies to be at peace with him but above all what peace accompanies him and how savoury is the odour of his good fame What sweet Fruit hath sprang from the bitter root of mortification Though silence seems an effect oâ— Melancholy yet the wise never repented he had held his Tongue so that Vertue since that time went always cloathed outwardly with Thorns but inwardly with Flowers different to Vice which therefore let us distinguish under that Character and embrace in despight of common and vulgar deceit They were now come in sight of the Court when Andrenio looking on Madrid with a great deal of pleasure and attention The wise Philosopher asked him what he saw I see said he the * A true Spanish Rodemontado Royal Mother of so many Nations the Crown of the two Worlds the Centre of so many Kingdoms the Jewel of both the Indies the Nest of the Phenix it self the Sphear of the Catholick Sun crowned and encircled with Perfections as Rayes and with noble Arms as Lights But I see said Critilo a Babylon of confusions a Paris of dirt and filth a Rome of changes a Palermo of AEtna's smoaks a Constantinople of mists a London of pestilence an Algier of captives I see said the Philosopher Madrid the Mother of all perfections on one side Madrid not a Mother but a Step-mother and a Step-mother on the other for as the chiefest rarities address themselves to the Court so in like manner do Vices swarm there being introduced by those which know not how to bring other then the vitious habits of their own Countries For my own part I will not go in as I have already told you but bringing them to the Bridge Milvio he there left them But Critilo and Andrenio adventured in by the street of Toledo and presently they happened into a Shop where Wisdom was to be sold Critilo asked the Bookseller if he had a clue of golden Thread to sell them but he did not presently apprehend his question for those who only read the Titles of Books are seldom learned by them but another standing by a graduated Courtier both in years and experience said You little understand them for it is a compass they desire to sail by in this Ocean and Golf of Circes I understand you less said the Bookseller for here is neither Gold nor Silver sold but only Books a more pretious Commodity then either It is this replied Critilo we look after and one especially which may give us some Councils and Instructions how to govern our selves in this twining Labyrinth So then said the Bookseller it seems that you are Strangers and if so make use of this Manual it is no Tome but rather an Atome and yet it shall serve to guide you to the North of Felicity it self here take this which I have seen do Miracles it being that which instructs us in the art of being Men and teaches us to keep a society worthy of those who are so Critilo took it and read the Title which was Galateus of the Court What is the Price said he Sir said the Bookseller it hath no price it is above account and is worth more to him who carries it these Books we do not sell but pawn for two Ryals for the World affords not sufficient Riches whereby to make their estimation At this speech the Courtier gave such a loud laughter that Critilo admired at it and the Bookseller was put out of countenance and asked the reason why he so laughed To which he replied that the absurdity of what he said was worthy of it for the whole matter