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A18918 An almond for a parrat, or Cutbert Curry-knaues almes Fit for the knaue Martin, and the rest of those impudent beggers, that can not be content to stay their stomakes with a benefice, but they will needes breake their fastes with our bishops. Risum sum plenus. Therefore beware (gentle reader) you catch not the hicket with laughing. Nash, Thomas, 1567-1601.; Lyly, John, 1554?-1606, attributed name. 1589 (1589) STC 534; ESTC S104396 29,496 48

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sawe you emblazoned in Martins bookes Tis you that are so holy that you wil not forsooth be séene to handle anie monie nor take golde though it shoulde filch it selfe into your purse but if God moued the heartes of anie of your brethren or sistren in the Lord to bring in pots beds or houshold stuffe into your house you would go out of doores of purpose whiles it was brought in and then if anie man aske you how you come so well storde your answere is that you know not how but only by the prouidence of God I must belabour you when all is done for your backbiting slandering of your honest neighbours and open inueighing against the established gouernment in your sermons Helpe him Martin or else his vpbraided absurdities will make thée repent that euer thou belyedst or disgracedst Hone Cottington or Chatfield in his cause May it please you therefore that are in authoritie considering how reuerently hée hath abused Christs birthright to restore him to preach that the blockes stockes and stones of Kingstone do not crie out against you I followe the riuers of folly whiles the fountaines of infection do propagate their poison Martin all this while thinkes himself in league with obscuritie whiles Phebus the discouerer of Mars Uenus adultery hath streamed his bright day light into the net where he daunceth Blush squint-eied caitife since thy couert no more wil contain thée Caelum te contegit non habes vrnam Therfore let al posteritie that shall heare of his knauerie attend the discouery which now I will make of his villanie Pen. I. Pen. welch Pen. Pen. the Protestationer Demonstrationer Supplicationer Appellationer Pen. the father Pen. the sonne Pen. Martin Iunior Martin Martinus Pen. the scholler of Oxford to his friend in Cambridge Pen. totum in toto totum in qualibet parte was somtimes if I be not deceiued a scholler of that house in Cambridge whereof D. Per. was maister Where what his estimation was the scorn wherin he liued can best relate For the constitution of his bodie it was so cleane contrarie to all phisiognomie of fame that a man wold haue iudged by his face God and nature deuising our disgrace had enclosde a close stoole in skinne and set a serpentine soule like a counterfet diamond more déepe in dong Neither was this monster of Cracouia vnmarkt from his bastardisme to mischiefe but as he was begotten in adultery and conceiued in the heate of lust so was he brought into the world on a tempestuous daie borne in that houre when all planets wer opposite Predestination y t foresaw how crooked he should proue in his waies enioyned incest to spawne him splay-footed Eternitie that knew how aukward he shoulde looke to all honesty consulted with Conception to make him squint-eied the deuill that discouered by the heauens disposition on his birth-day how great a lim of his kingdom was comming into the world prouided a rustie superficies wherinto wrapt him as soone as euer he was separated from his mothers wombe in euerie part whereof these words of blessing were most artificially engrauen Crine ruber niger ore breuis pede lumine lustus To leaue his natiuitie to the Church porch where the parish found him come to his riper yeres that now had learnd Puerilis of the poore mans boy and nere as pretily entred in Aue Marie English as any parish clarke in those parts I am to tel you how laudibly he behaued himselfe in Peterhouse during the time of his subsistership First therfore he began with his religion at his first comming thether Hoc scitote viri that he was as arrant a papist as euer came out of Wales I tell you I. a P. in those daies would haue run a false gallop ouer his beades with anie man in England and helpt the Priest for a shift to saie Masse at high midnight which if néed were I doubt not but he would do at this houre It was not for nothing my masters that he so be-baited his betters for shewing the people the relique of our Ladies smock in his sermon open detecting of all their other blind superstition Say what you will he is a close lad can carrie a ring in his mouth though all the world sée it not what though hee now dissemble with the time disguise his Spanish heart in a Precisians habit May not he hereafter proue a necessarie mēber in conspiracies common wealth aduantage the holy league as much in this meanes of sedition as all Philips power by inuasion Simple English men that cannot sée into pollicie before it supprise your peace nor interrupt the ambition of trechery before it hath besieged your prosperitie Doe you beholde whiles innouations bud do not you feare lest your children and family be poisoned with the fruit The Scythians are barbarous yet more fore-séeing then you who so detested al forren innouations tēding to the derogation of theyr ancient customes that they kild Anacharūs for no other cause but for y t he performed the rights of Sibil after the manner of the Grecians What should I vpbraide your simplicitie with the Epidaurians prouident subtiltie who fearing least their Countrie men shoulde attract innouations from other nations especially from their riotous neighbors the Illirians interdicted theyr merchants from al trafick with them or trauaile vnto them but least they should be vtterly destitute of their commodities they chose a graue man amongst them knowen to be of good gouernment reputation who dealt continually for the whole Countrie in the waie of exchange and meruailously augmented their wealth by the reuerence of his wisedome But you fond men as in garments so in gouernment continually affecting new fashions thinke no man can be saued y t hath not bin at Geneua Your beléefe forsooth must be of that Scottish kinde your Bibles of the primitiue print else your consciences God wot are not of the cannonical cut nor your opinions of the Apostles stamp Pen. with Pan hath contended with Appollo and you lyke Midasses haue ouerprised his musick Good God y t a Welch harpe should inchant so many English harts to their confusiō especially hauing nere a string belonging to it but a treble Had a syren sung I drownd in attending her descante I would haue bequeathed my bane to her beautie but when Cerberus shall barke I turne back to listen thē let me perish without pittie in the delight of my liuing destruction Deceit hath tooke vp his seat in a dunce you thinke him a saint because he comes not in the shape of a deuil We know M. Pen. intus in cute first for a papist then for a Brownist next for an Anabaptist last for y e blasphemous Martin whose spirite is the concrete compound of all these vnpardonable heresies But had not the frantike practise of his youth throughly founded his confirmed age in this furie I woulde haue imagined his vpstart