're unjust And negligent giv'n to delight and lust And what 's done there to give the more offence They still interpret in the worser sense In all they make great showes of what they 'l do They 'l hear the poor and help the needy too For in all civill Discords those that are Disturbers alwaies counterfeit the care Of Publike good pretending they will be Protectors of the Peoples Libertie The Priviledge o' th' State the good o' th' King The true Religion yet all 's but to bring Their owne designes about they 'l ruine all That they may rise though the whole Kingdome fall By these delusions us'd with dext'rous Art They drew all factious spirits to their part The childish People gazing at what 's gay Flock to these showes as to a Puppet-Play Like drunken men they this way that way reele And turne their minds as Fortune does her wheele They long for noveltie are pleas'd with showes And few truth from truth-seeming Error knowes Their love like French-mens courage does begin Like powder and goes out as soon 's 't is in The thing or person whom they dearly love Within a moment hate and disapprove They measure every Action by th' event And if they 're crost by some ill accident Whoever serves them nere shall recompence With all his vertuous deeds one slight offence So wretched is that Prince that Church that State That rests upon their love or on their hate They 'l all be Kings and Priests to teach and sway Their Brethren but they can't indure t' obey Nor rule themselves and that 's the only cause Why they 've pluck'd down Religion and the Lawes And yet will settle neither that they might Have faire pretences to make people fight For by this cunning every factious mind Hopes to find that to which he 's most inclin'd They like Miscellionists of all minds bee Yet in no one opinion can agree Their Planet-heads they in Conjunction draw As empty Skulls meet in a Golgotha Each head his severall sence though senslesse all And though their humors by the eares do fall In this they jump to disobey and hate What ere 's injoyn'd them by the Church or State And all strive to be Reformation-men Yet putting out one evill bring in ten CHAP. XV GReat men that would be little Kings did come Some led by discontent b' ambition some Others of ruin'd fortunes but a mind To pomp to sloth and luxury inclin'd Who long'd for civill warres that they might be Instal'd in wealth or we in miserie These bobtail'd Beares would faine like Lyons raign And Clownes would drive or ride in Charles his Wain These by their greatnesse were the heads of Faction The Commons must be hands and feet of Action That must by force defend if they had need Their grand design Thus on their plots succeed All humours stir'd none cur'd jarr yet conspire To be all fuell to begin the fire Some go in wantonnesse to see and some Must go because they cannot stay at home Villaines that from just death could not be free But by the Realms publique calamitie They 're like the Milt which never can increase But by the bodies ruine or disease That with our money must recruit their chests And only in our trouble have their rests Such as in luxury in lust in play Have prodigally thrown their states away Convicted persons Bankerupt Citizens That spend their own and long for other mens Servants which from their Masters hither flee And change their bondage for this libertie Men of high thoughts and of a desp'rate mind Wild Gallants whose vast thoughts were not confin'd To'th' Circle of the Lawes and all whom want Or guilty Conscience made extravagant Flock'd in to make up this new Colonie Where hainous Crimes had got a Jubilee And as in this so 't is in every state Men of low fortunes envy still and hate The good extoll the bad they disapprove All ancient Lawes and novelties do love Disdaine their own estates and envy those Whose wealth above their ruin'd fortune goes These are secure from troubles for they 're poore And come what can they can't be made much more Nor was 't a small incentive to behold How the poor Skowndrells wallowed in Gold How Kingly in their diet and array And how they do their betters daunt and sway To whom they had been vassalls heretofore And been perhaps relieved from their doore This made the Peasant who did work for 's hire Or beg or steal leave ploughing and aspire To imitate the rest as well's he can First steales a horse and then 's a Gentleman A young Phisitian well may guesse th' events Of medicines made of such ingredients For how unlikely is 't things should go right When th' Devills Souldiers for Gods cause do fight 'Mongst these they stole the hearts of some that be True meaning men of zeale and piety Though ignorantly zealous still possest By their strange Doctrine that none could be blest That were not Actors who did neuters stand God would spue out Opposers out of hand Should be cut off No mercy they decreed To th' Enemy though Christ should intercede No pardon but their goods moneys and all As guerdon of their facts to them should fall Wealth pleasure honour that were wont to be The generall spurrs to all Activitie Were largely promis'd unto every one Just as they found his inclination It was esteem'd an ordinary grace For broken Citz to get a Captaines place The wealthy Citizens whose glut'nous eye Gaz'd on the publique faith that Lotterie Though they for feare or shame were loth to do it They 'd cut down Boughs and cry Hosanna to it They brought their plate and money to this Bank Hoping for Prizes but draw forth a Blank Themselves reserve the Prizes and this stands Still gaping like the bottomlesse Quicksands You might track plate like beasts to th' Lyons den How much went in but none came out agen Here was our Primum mobile of woe This was the Mother and the Nurse on 't too Thus many were drawn in But those that were Not mov'd by love were driven on by feare CHAP. VI THe adverse part perceiving their intents Prepar'd them powers for their own defence The Gentry for the basenesse they did do Were quite discountenanc'd and justly too They grew degenerate and Gentility Was but a Nick-Name or a livery Which every wealthy Clown might have and weare And be stil'd Worshipfull They took no care To keep their blood untainted from the stain Of vulgar sordidnesse and so maintain The glory of their Ancestors that be Deriv'd to them from vast eternitie But mixt the Blood that had inrich'd their veines With each ignoble Slave or Trull for gaines Learning wit vertue birth report that be Essentiall bases of Gentilitie Vail'd all to wealth and that 's the Cause we find So many rich in purse so few in mind How many Justices did wealth advance That had nothing to show but ignorance They liv'd like
facing each other stand To guard our foes while they devoure our Land We are like those that vainly go to Law And spend their Corn while they defend the straw We sue for Titles Castles in the aire Egg'd on on both sides by the Martiall Lawyer Who saies the Cause is good but what 's the fruit We spend the substance to maintain the Suit At last we purchase at so deare a rate A larger title of an empty State But oh the generall Law-Case of our Nation Doth know no Terme nor yet our woes Vacation CHAP. X. NAy we can't soon enough our selves undo But we call others in to help us too They bring their pocky Whores and do desire To drive us from our Land by sword and fire These serve as Umpires not to worke our peace But that their wealth may with our Wars increase For Forraigne aids and Contributions are Not to conclude but to prolong the Warre All for their own advantage not t' expire But fuell-like t' increase the fatall fire We like the steele and flint do fall by th' ears And each by mutuall blowes his fellow wears Mean while the Souldier like a wily Fox Purses the golden sparkles which our knocks Strike forth so we must all expect no lesse Then certain ruine or a sudden peace These Journey-Souldiers will expect a pay Nor can fair promises their stomacks stay Plunder but blowes the flame they will so farre Ingage themselves in our unnat'rall Warre That when they end it it shall be so well They 'l take the fish and give both sides a shell They Phoenix-like will from our ashes rise And 't is our ruine only satisfies Their bloudy minds and we may justly feare They will have all not be content to share CHAP. XI HOw direfull are th' effects of Civill Warre No Countries Cities Corporations are Nor Families but their division 's so That their own selves will their own selves undo One 's for the King and t'other for the States And the poor Souldiers like the Andabates Fight blind-fold shoot are shot are wounded die Only because they do not knowing why Yet those whom rage had hurri'd on to stay Each other in the Exodus o' th' day Breath with their soules their anger out and lie Kissing or hug each other when they die And though in life they had such enmitie Meet in one death and there they both agree Two Armies now against themselves do fight For th' publike good so equall both in might That betwten both the Kingdom 's like to faile And both to fall but neither to prevaile Yet both in disagreeing do consent To be the Realms continuall punishment While some like Camells take delight to swill Their souls i th' troubled waters of our ill That are on foot o th' Kingdome and do rise When that does fall and on our miseries Do float like Arks the more the waves aspire The more they dance and are exalted higher That Leech-like live by blood but let such know Though they live merry at the Kingdomes woe 'T is a sad Obit when their Obsequies Are tun'd with Widdowes and with Orphans cries Woe be to those that did so far ingage This wretched Kingdome in this deadly rage That both sides being twins of Church and State Should slay each other in their fatall hate This mountain sin will clog their guilty souls Whose pois'nous breath hath kindled all these coales And when their souls do from their bodies flie If they have buriall which they so defie And 't is more fit their carkas meat should be To Beasts whom they transcend in crueltie Posterity upon their tombs shall write Better these men had never seen the light 'T is just that all Achitophels of State That have his policie should have his Fate CHAP. XII THe Sun four times and more his course hath run Since we began to strive to be undone Since millions heap'd on millions do concur T' increase the sinewes of this too strong War The glutted ground hath been parboild in bloud Of equall slaughters victory hath stood Indifferent Arbiter to either side As if that heav'n by that had signifi'd Both were in fault and did deserve to be Both overthrowne not crown'd with victory While Saw-pit Warriours blind the peoples eyes On both sides with mock-victories and lies And tell us of great Conquests but they be Totall defeats giv'n by Synechdoche VVhen one side is the Master of the field T'other striv'd to recruit but not to yeeld And which soever won was sure to lose The Conquests being the Conq'rors overthrowes Skirmishes every day where Souldiers get Salmatian spoiles with neither blood nor sweat To overcome by turnes both sides agree Horses are taken but the men go free Towns have been lost and won and lost and won VVhole Counties plunder'd thousands been undone All to no purpose warres still keep their course And we instead of better grow far worse VVar does the nature o' th' Abeston hold VVhich being once made hot growes never cold VVe have a Lease of lives on 't our heires be Intitled to our plagues as well as we By lineall succession Peace is quite Ejected from possession of her right Passion 's like heavy bodies down a hill Once set in motion doe run downward still The Quarrell 's still inflam'd Jealousies And Fears increase Malice doth higher rise VVant comes upon us arm'd Humanity Dissolves to savagenesse Friendship doth lie Trod underfoot neither can Natures force Or consanguinity beget remorse Or un-inrage mens fury now the Sword Is Lord Chief Justice and will not afford Law the copartnership for none must be Primate or Metropolitan but he Lawes are but ligaments of peace which are Broken like threads by all in time of VVarre CHAP. XIII PLundring that first was licenc'd by that Cause That turnes ev'n lawlessenesse it selfe to Lawes Spurr'd on by need and sweetned by the gaine Growes Epidemicall and spreads amaine It slights the difference of friends and foes And like an uncurb'd Torrent over flowes That which before was Fellonie 's the same Only new christen'd with a German name This violent killing men which was ere while Condemn'd for murther now they valour stile Opposing of a Parliament they bring Now to be due Allegeance to the King And who the Kings Prerogative do hate Are now call'd faithfull Servants to the State The King a syllable that us'd to be Sacred a name that wore Divinitie Is banded on the tongue of ev'ry slave And most by those to whom he quickning gave The Coblers Crow hath now forgot to sing His {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} but cries kill the King He on whose health wealth safety do depend Our health wealth safety and with whose they end He whom the everlasting Potter chose A Vessell for himselfe is by his foes Scandall'd despis'd those Phaetons of Pride Would pull him down that they might up and ride Our wealth the excrement of all our toile For which in daies of peace we did so
The mighty Iulius who so long did strive At more then man was hated whilst alive Even for that vertue which was rais'd so high When dead it made him straight a Deity Ambassadors that carry in their breast Secrets of Kings and Kingdomes Interest Have not their calling full preheminence Till they grow greater by removing hence Like Subjects here they but attend the Crowne Yet swell like Kings Companions when they 're gone My Lord in a dull calme the Pilot growes To no esteem for what he acts or knowes But sits neglected as he uselesse were Or con'd his Card like a young Passenger But when the silent winds recover breath When stormes grow loud enough to waken death Then were he absent every Traffiquer Would with rich wishes buy his being there So in a Kingdome calme you leave no rate But rise to value in a storme of State Yet I recant I beg you would forgive That in such times I must perswade you live For with a storm we all are over-cast And Northerne stormes are dangerous when they last Should you now die that only know to steere The winds would lesse afflict us then our feare For each small States-man then would lay his hand Upon the Helm and struggle for Command Till the disorders that above do grow Provoke our curses whilst we sink below A SATYRE AGAINST Separatists I 'Ve been Sir where so many Puritans dwell That there are only more of them in Hell Where silenc'd Ministers enough were met To make a Synod and may make one yet Their blessed liberty they 've found at last And talk'd for all those years of silence past Like some half-pin'd and hunger-starved men Who when they next get victualls surfet then Each Countrey of the world sent us back some Like severall winds which from all quarters come To make a storme As 't haps 't is Sunday too And their chief Rabbies preach To Church I go VVhere that we men more patiently may heare Non-sense to God at first he speaks it there He whines now whispers straight and next does roare Now drawes his long words and now leaps them o're Such various voices I admir'd and said Sure all the Congregation in him praid 'T was the most tedious Soule the dullest he That ever came to Doctrines twenty three And nineteen Uses How he drawes his Hum And quarters Haw talks Poppy and Opium No fever a mans eyes could open keep All Argus body hee 'd have preach'd asleep In half an houre The Wauld O Lawd he cries Lukewarmnesse And this melts the Womens eyes They sob aloud and straight aloud I snore Till a kind Psalm tells me the dangers o're Flesh'd here with this escape boldly to th' Hall I venture where I meet the Brethren all First there to the grave Clergie I am led By whatsoever title distinguished Whether most reverend Batchellors they bee Of Art or reverend Sophs or no Degree Next stand the wall-eyed Sisters all a row Nay their scald-headed children they come too And mingled amongst these stood gaping there Those few Lay-men that not o' th' Clergy were Now they discourse some stories here relate Of bloodie Popish Plots against the State VVhich by the Spirit and providence no doubt The men that made have found most strangely out Some blame the King others more moderate say Hee 's a good man himself but led away The women rip old wounds and with small teares Recount the losse of the three Worthies Eares Away you fooles 't was for the good o' th men They nere were perfect Round-heads untill then But against Bishops they all raile and I Said boldly I 'de defend the Hierarchy To th' Hierarchy they meant no harm at all But root and branch for Bishops to 't we fall I like a foole with reason and those men VVith wrested Scripture a slie Deacon then Thrust in his Eares so speakes th' Apostle too How speakes hee friend not i' th' nose like you Strait a She-zealot raging to me came And said o' th what d' you call it party I am Bishops are limbs of Antichrist she cries Repent repent good woman and be wise The Devill will have you else that I can tell Believ 't and poach th' eggs o' those eyes in hell An hidious storm was ready to begin When by most blessed Fate the meat came in But then so long so long a Grace is sed That a good Christian when he goes to bed Would be contented with a shorter prayer Oh how the Saints injoy'd the creatures there Three Pasties in the minute of an houre Large and well wrought they root and branch devour As glibly as they 'd swallow down Church-Land In vain the lesser Pies hope to withstand On Geece and Capons with what zeale they fed And wond'ring cry A goodly bird indeed Their spirits thus warm'd all the jests from them came Upon the names of Laud Duck Wren and Lamb Canons and Bishops Sees And one most wise I like this innocent mirth at dinner cries Which now by one is done and Grace by two The Bells ring and again to Church we go Four Psalms are sung wise times no doubt they be When Hopkins justles out the Liturgie Psalms which if David from his seat or blisse Doth heare he little thinks they 're meant for his And now the Christian Bajazet begins The suffering Pulpit groans for Israels sins Sins which in number many though they be And crying ones are yet lesse lond then he His stretch'd-out voice sedition spreads afar Nor does he onely teach but act a war He sweats against the State Church learning sence And resolves to gain Hell by violence Down down ev'n to the ground must all things go There was some hope the Pulpit would down too Work on work on good zeale but still I say Law forbids threshing thus o' th' Sabbath day An hour lasts this two handed prayer and yet Not a kind sillable from him can Heaven get Till to the Parliament he comes at last Just at that blessed word his furie 's past And here he thanks God in a loving tone But Laud and then he mounts All 's not yet done No would it were think I but much I feare That all will not be done this two houres here For now he comes to As you shall find it writ Repeats his Text and takes his leave of it And straight to his Sermon in such furious-wise As made it what they call 't an Exercise The Pulpit 's his hot Bath the Brethrens cheere Rost-beefe Minc't-py and Capon reek out here Oh how he whips about six yeeres ago When superstitious decency did grow So much in fashion How he whets his fist Against the name of Altar and of Priest The very name in his out-ragious heat Poore innocent Vox ad placitum how he beat Next he cuffs out Set-prayer even the Lords It binds the Spirit he saies as 't were with cords Even with-Whip-cords Next must authority go Authority 's a kind of binder too First
then he intends to breath himself upon Church government have at the King anon The thing 's done straight in poor six minutes space Titus and Timothy have lost their place Nay with th' Apostles too it e'en went hard All their authority two thumps more had mar'd Paul and S. Peter might be sure o' th' doome Knew but this Lion Dunce they 'd bin at Rome Now to the State he comes talk an alar'm And at th' malignant party flings his arme Defies the King and thinks his Pulpit full As safe a place for 't as the Knight does Hull What though no Magazine laid in there be Scarce all their Guns can make more noise then he Plots plots he talks of jealousies and feares The politick Saints shake their notorious eares Till time long time which doth consume and wast All things to an end this Sermon brought at last What would you have good soules a reformation Oh by all means but how o' th newest fashion A pretty slight Religion cheap and free I know not how but you may furnisht be At Ipswich Amsterdam or a Kingdom neere Though to say truth yon paid for 't there too deare No matter what it costs wee 'l reform though The Prentices themselves will have it so They 'le root out Popery whats'ever come It is decreed nor shall thy fate O Rome Resist their Vow They 'le do 't to a haire for they Who if upon Shrove-Tuesday or May-day Beat an old Bawd or fright poor Whores they cou'd Thought themselves greater then their Founder Lud Have now vast thoughts and scorn to set upon Any Whore lesse then her of Babylon They 'r mounted high contemne the humble play Of Cat or Football on an Holiday In Finesbury Fields No 't is their brave intent Wisely t' advise the King and Parliament The work in hand they 'le disapprove or back And cry i' th' Reformation What d' you lack Can they whole Shopbooks write and yet not know If Bishops have a Right Divine or no Or can they sweep their doors and shops so well And for to cleanse a State as yet not tell No study and experience makes them wise Why shold they else watch late and early rise Their wit so flowes that when they think to take But Sermons notes they oft new Sermons make In Cheapside-Crosse they Baal and Dagon see They know 't is gilt all ore as well as we Besides since men did that gay Idoll reare God has not blest the Herbwives trading there Go on brave Heroes and performe the rest Increase your fame each day a yard at least Till your high names are grown as glorious full As the four London Prentices at the Bull So may your goodly Eares still prickant grow And no bold haire increase to marre the show So may your Morefields Pastimes never faile And all the Townes about keep mighty Ale Ale your own spirits to raise and Cakes t' appease The hungry coinesse of your Mistresses So may rare Pageants grace the Lord-Mayors show And none find out that those are Idolls too So may you come to sleep in Fur at last And some Smectymnuan when your daies are past Your funerall Sermon of six houres rehearse And Heywood sing your acts in lofty verse But stay who have we next mark and give roome The women with a long Petition come Mans understanding is not halfe so great Th' Apple of knowledge 't was they first did eat First then Pluralities must be ta'ne away Men may learn thence to keep two wives they say Next Schollership and Learning must go down Oh fie your sex so cruell to the Gown You don't the kindnesse of some Schollers know The Cambridge women will not have it so Learning 's the Lamp o' th' Land that shines so bright Are you s'immodest to put out the light This is a Conventicle trick What 's next Oh with the Churches solemne formes thei 'r vext The sign o' th Crosse the forehead must not beare 'T was only you were born to plant signes there No Font to wash native concupiscence in You like that itch still of originall sin No solemne Rights of Buriall must be shown Pox take you hang your selves and you shall ha' none No Organ Idolls to the eare they be No Anthemes why nay ask not them nor me Ther 's new Church Musique found instead of those The womens sighs tun'd to the Teachers nose No Surplices no why none I crave They 're of rags Rome I think what would you have Lastly they 'd preach too let them for no doubt A finer preaching age they 'l nere find out They 've got the spirit fiery tongues they 've that 's true And by their talk those should be double too OH times oh manners when the Church is made A prey nay worse a scorn to ev'ry Cade And ev'ry Tyler when the popular rage The ages greatest curse reformes the age When reason is for Popery snppress'd And Learning connted Jesuitism at least When without books Divines must studious be And without meat keep hospitality When men 'gainst ancient Fathers rev'rend daies That many-headed beast Smectymnuus raise That Hidra which would grow still and encrease But that at first it met an Hercules When the base rout the Kingdoms dirt and sink To cleanse the Church and purge the fountaines think They who whilst living waters they might take Drink Belgian ditches and the Lemnian lake When th' Liturgy which now so long hath stood Seal'd by five reverend Bishops sacred blood Is left for nonsence and but pottage thought Pottage from Heav'n like that to Daniel brought Their broaths have such weeds mixt and are so hot The Prophets sons cry out Death 's in the pot Oh times oh manners but me thinks I stay Too long with them and so much for to day Hereafter more for since we now begin You 'l find we 've Muses too as well as Pryn. FINIS