afraid to look upon God And the man sayd that he saw that his feet was not to be shod with his owne shoeing but with the preparation of the gosple of peace or he could not make streight steps with his feet on the holy ground And hee had read of some that turned a side like a deceitfull bow and that Josephs bow a bode in his strength and he was renowned and stood in a blessed and holy record amongst the antient worthyes of the Lord who thorow faith subdued Kingdoms of weake were made strong obtaineing throw faith a good report and the man said Well if the Lord will destroy me for ever my mouth is stopt he could not raise a defence for him self he dared not to complain for he had sind aganist him and saw that he must beare his indignation whither or not that ever he knew an end or redemption out of it His distress and miserie was great which those not acquainted with the judgments of the Lord that proceeds out of his mouth as consumering fire as David sayd can not beleeve although told unto them by those who have been acquainted with them and traveld through the way thereof But at last it pleased the Father of mercies according to the counsell of the working of the Lord in his wisdom and goodness to instruct the man and wrought in his minde to cause him to lye downe in his will and submit him self to the rod of his chasticeing hand which as he yeilded him self thereunto he felt some what working and enlargeing or opening it self unto his incouragement whereby he in some hopes began to say True and righteouss are thy Judgments and that if he perished everlastingly from beholding his face with joy and his salvation yet he must and would justify him and his righteouss judgments for ever more and after this he felt a joy to spring in him and to feel some Spirit to revive and did at some times seem as if he saw some glimpses of a great glory as a farr off and of a heavenly Arm and that there was salvation in it but could not get to it he thought if he could and therein continue that the winter would be past and the time of refreshing from the Lords presence would be come and the hearing of the voice of the turtle where in his teares would be wiped away according to the Prophet and that the sorrowing and sithing would flee away and instead thereof joy and rejoiceing would be which he longed for haveing some expectation or beleife in him that the antient Prophecies were many of them as really to be fullfilled in these latter dayes as ever they were at first spoken forth and that because of the unchangeable faithfullnes and goodness of the Lord. But now he rather ran into hast then to run the race which he saw in measure set before him and that was to waite for Gods salvation for without that manifestly he saw salvation he could never attain to seeing all his former wayes and courses proved ineffectuall to him and no wayes advantagious and he rejoyced in some measure and was glad in the beholding of it although it seemed to be and was a far of and not brought neere unto him and earnest he was to inherit it and not to ly in the fire for the utter consummation of the dross and thorow purgeing of the floor and so earnest indeed the man was and in hastines of Spirit that he had all most lost his submission to the will of the refiner and instead of wayting patiently upon him to hear what he would speak to him and to see what he would do for him who is the mighty Counseller and of whom he had read that he would speak comfortably to Jerusalem and peace to his people who feared his Name notwithstanding he was for takeing the Kingdom some thing of his old practise and endeavours not considering that he ought not to make hast nor to fly with the swift and cry as some did Nay wee will flee upon horses such whirling Notions men chose rather then to bow before the Lord that he might be exalted Lord and King over all his ever Now the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong thus the man had read and so there was another lesson that he was to learn and that was as an honest Prophet of the Lord once sayd In returning and in rest you shall be saved in quietness and confidence is your strength which the Apostle answerd unto when he sayd The Lord direct your hearts into the Love of God and into the patient waiting for Jesus Christ That he might know feel therein that the Lords Arm alone brought salvation and that he might have nought nor none to glory in but the Lord who for his owne mercie sake dothsave deliver Thus he was to turn off his hast and not to take the Kingdom by force but to feel the meek peacable Prince thereof to lead him into it and to give him therein a portion and priviledge amongst the Princes upon the Throne of judgment and mercie for ever And thus learned the man again to return in his minde into the enlightning opening light of the Lord which in his heart was as a fire and a flame and to resign up unto it to feel the effect thereof which he hoped might be at the last blessed and greatly advantagiouss to the stay and comfort of his then greived minde as others had enjoyed before him whom the Lord had lead by his owne right arm into a habitation of joy and salvation But nothwithstanding all this he againe fell to contriving of a speedy way and to wish for the enjoyment of that which before this time by way of incouragement had visited him to teach him that not by might nor strength but by the Spirit of the Lord and its holy leading and teaching he was to hope for and enjoy his deliverance And the voice sounded in his eares be still according to what he had read in Habbakuk Let all the earth keep silence before him Here upon he againe enclined to sinck downe in his Spirit unto the messenger of the Lords glorious holy power revealed with in him and there to abide and endure in patience of minde and Spirit for its holy purpose and work to be wrought in the earth that it also might be replenished and bring forth its encrease to the Lord. Whereupon he sayd O Lord lead me on in the way which is clearing for to the day of claering thou knowest that I have earnestly desired with desire of spirit to come and now I am in some measure come throw thy draweing by thy blessed hand held forth unto me O Lord God of mercie and compassion guide thou my feet and uphold me by thy free Spirit that in that thy holy way which is the way of the blessed and of the ransomed ones I may be kept and perserved Yet still againe and
as if thereby he should be destroyed Such was his case for pawseing a litle and acquainting him self with consideration in a kinde of repose or silence which he had got the notion of and did at some times feel some reall motion and inclination thereunto the compassionate one which waited to doe him good brought him back againe by his inquiring word which remained within him to his state and condition and to the shewing of him that and to the feeling the wound and the smart thereof which formerly was made when it was said unto him Where art thou and he began to sith and lament and to wish for a hand or that hand which could releive him marvelling with in him self that so great and continued a greiff and trouble should seise upon him upon the occasion of them or that thereby should be occasioned so incureable a greiffe as was in him and under which he had so many yeares groaned Thus as yet he kist not the rod with the which he was smitten nor yet did heare it and him who appointed it nor submitted to the hand of him that afflicted him he thought still that his enemy which broke his peace and in the midst of his mirth and jollity ministred sorrow and disconsolation to him He had heard of the pleasant name of a Saviour who had given his life a ransome for all men and was willing to be ransomed and saved by him according to the conceptions or beleife which men had of the way thereof in the world but to be made like unto him whom men gave vineger and gall to drinck as those were who sayd as he is even so are wee in this world this no not to toutch witch him in his sufferings he had read of his resurrection and of his crowne of glory he liked well that to enjoy he being arisen out of his suffering state into his fathers glory but the learn of him to the takeing up the dayly cross the crucifying to the world and the affections and lusts of it the being made conformable unto the death and the bearing about in the body the dyings of the Lord Jesus this was not in his thoughts the other the other the right hand of God where are pleasures for ever more that he looked for and a river the streames where of makes glad the Citie of God and had not a thought or expectation to the contrary although it be said that I come not to send peace on the earth but a sword and if you be without correction whereof all are partakers then are you bastards and not sons that that and such things should be his from the Lord and yet the dawning or breaking forth of the Light of the glorious day of Christs comeing was upon him in which he could say he had no pleasure For his vaine expectations failed and his peace fled far from him the more he sought or desired after it and his state the more miserable no releife no comfort no help nor none nor nothing to rely upon but on the contrary dayly woundings and astonishments so that he was ready to despayre of being releived and to be an astonishment unto him self succour there was none nor help every thing which might have efforded him of that kind was fled from him or so imbitterd that nothing availed they to his refreshment so that ha was more ready to hide him self from the eyes of all men in a secret cave or rock in the earth thath there he might have ended his dayes in mourning and weepeing then to have remained in the glory greatness and wisdom of this world without the inheritance of him whom his soule had so long searched after But this could not do neither nor none to him nor nought remained wherein he had hopes to obtaine releife by his hope as to that was gon and his former lovers remained as gall and bitterness unto him knowledg that vanished away and experiences which he formerly at times thought had been good and beneficiall unto him proved voyd and empty and him self left in his wound more then ever in his smart in his blood and none to pitie him or to shew redress unto him then said he I will lift up mine eyes unto thee o thou that dwellest in the heavens O that thou wouldest lead me in the way which is everlasting that my poor afflicted and destressed soule may have a hideing place a place of rest to ly downe in with the flocks of thy companions But loath he was to turn to him that smot him as yet he had not learnd that Neither did he thinck that that was don by him who would at last be salvation to him So estranged is mans heart natuarly from the Lord and to have faith and beleif in him his eye was a broad like the fooles in the corners of the earth and in the dark places thereof he sought for a habitation of quietness but the Lord frustrated all those devices of his that he might shew unto him the vanity of his way and the vexation by it and bring him at last to waite upon him for his salvation who hath sayd looke unto me all yee ends of the earth and be saved Thus strove the old deceiver thereby to keep the man from bowing unto the Lord and to stand at a distance feed on beleeve in or give way to any thing rather then to him that afflicted him and whose hand was come neere unto him to chastice him for his iniquity and to deliver him through obedience and submission to his will from the evill of his owne heart and thus wrought the compassionate one whose compassions failed not and waited to be graciouss unto the Man that his minde might be turned inward and home againe to the Fathers house and the mantions of it to know the holy Temple and the Lord in it and the earth to keep silence before him and the City of the King and the King in his Throne and the Tower of David and their glory strength and protection which now he stood in alienation to and astranger in a desolate place of Dragons with out a wall in the open feilds and in this perplexed desolation lyable and in danger to be preyed upon by the beasts thereof who sayd unto him return unto me the Man ready to answer who art thou but the subtile one whose Depths of Sathan he had not knowne by his easy access as aforesaid hastily steps in to save his kingdom and strong-hold in the mans heart said unto him to whom return unto me to what dost thou know thereby to divert the mans mind from a farther search and inquiry into the matter or of acquainting him self with him whose voice utterd it self in the earth and said what wouldst thou be better then every one or one of those that say to his neighbour stand off I am more holy then thou .... Thus industriouss this deceiver was to hold his kingdom standing armed to defend his house
from the holy visitation of his compassionate freind which had received and beleived as conduceing to his satisfaction so that instead of setling downe in heart and mind into the holy operation of it thereby to feel his deliverance he steales away his heart therefrom and begets him into a boasting and exalting spirit to talk of that his enjoyment and thereby to a loss he came and an abatement of the supply thereby which he had some hopes of whilst it manifested it self unto him and he joyning him self thereto for its assistance and releife And being made destitute thereof by so doing more then a knowledg in his braine and vaine boasting he soon felt the former miserie to revive which made him to groan within him self as one like unto a ship tossed in the troubled sea by the restless waves thereof without a rudder and in danger of perishing every moment This made the man to recollect him self whereby he saw not that subjection feare and humilitie in his heart which he was inclined to by the former visitation nor him self persecuteing that former desire of his of casting himself upon the goodnes and mercie of the Lord that so he might know a settlement in a habitation of quietness and peace And begon to see and understand that there was an adverse part spirit or power in him unto his salvation which did get and steale away his minde from waiting for it And further that there was also a Spirit principle or power in him which wrought in his minde against the former and him for joyning to it which brake his peace and made those woundings in his soule from whence arose all those feares distresses and miseries which he had so long in deepheart sorrow groaned under and from whence sprangfort those hopefull and true refreshing beames of comfort which he had at sometimes had some feeling of and was good cause and incouragement unto him further to waite thereon as on that alone which might worke his deliverance And in the consideration of this he some time was and the Lords secret and still drawings of his minde inward often visited him to draw him to him self from whence he was departed into folly so that the man in tremblingwise or broakeness began to be before the Lord and to encline his heart to him who before now had visited him to his wounding even he who searcheth the heart and tryeth the reines had smitten him that in everlasting kindness he mightly downe and sorrow be removed from him And as the compassionate one unvailed the man and understanding began to reside with him this was unto him as if life had enterd to the raising of him up above his former troubles like unto a woman for joy that a man was born into the world and remembring how he had been deceived for he could not but with greiffe of heart reflect back on that he began to have regard thereto in more bowedness of spirit least that he also should loose the fruition of so great mercie and therefore said Let me know thee O thou searcher of my heart that I may obey thee and deliver me from all my enemies and that was it which he was earnest for and had his eye at and hoped to enjoy but it was in a hasty mind out of true subjection and understanding as those of old time who said Lord wilt thou at this time restore the kingdom to Israel so apt is man to make hast and not to waite resignedly upon the Lord that his will might be don and work effected in the earth And it is to be noted for so it came to pass that as the man sunck downe or bowed before the Lord and breathed for the manifestation and teaching of his holy power and Spirit to effect and work there in his soule according to the good will of his owne tender goodness and compassion that the Lord further enlightned his understanding although contrary to his owne giveing him to see the darkness and confusion in which he was wrapped about as with a mantle and fetterd as with chaines of Iron where at fresh cause of lamentation and mourning arose in him in consideration of that enimitie disobedience and rebellion that he had lived in indayes by past against his maker for of this he was perswaded in his minde who before now thought that although he had not spent his time so citcumspectly or with such holy consideration and sobriety as he should or ought to have don yet far was it from him to think or beleeve that he had so far faln short of his dutie or so far been alienated from his Maker as now he began to be convinced that he had and was And concluded that it had been well for him to have remembred his Creator in the dayes of his youth and not to have spent soe much of his pretiouss time in such idleness vanitie according to the evill course of this world as he had don which if he had not hearkned unto nor inclined his heart to follow after but had sought after the Lord to know him according to his early visiting of him to return unto him to walk before him in his holy feare he had come to know with those which so do no great travell for it s said that wisdom preventeth those which earely seek her by first shewing her self unto them and he did really beleeve the same and hath since seen the fullfilling so it in many who hath sought after her betimes But as the Light of the Lord did arise and shine forth in him letting him to see things which differd from it this caused him to confess his guilt before the Lord he could in no wise deny or extenuate it for he read it in his owne conscience which stood as an everlasting record against him and now he thought him self in a more desperate and distressed condition then ever before for he could not speak for him self he could not call for mercie he was afraid to lift up his eyes to heaven the pressure of his owne iniquity lay so heavy upon him neither knew he how to eate or drinck possess or enjoy he was afraid and his feare increased day by day for understanding was given unto him and the revealation of his wretched and deploreable state in measure stood open and bare before him So gloriouss was the outgoings of the Lord in the removing the vayle of his heart so as if he needed not any one to accuse him or to lay things to his charge or to make him guilty in his owne eyes And as he saw him self at first deceived so now how forward he had been to yeild to the deceiver which stood as an aggravation of his former evils in which he had lived Thus saw he that he stood in covenant with hell and death and alienated from God in enmity and ungodlyness or as that of Salomon when he thus concluded I sayd in my heart concerning the estate of the
againe the old deceiver and adversary of the soules blessednes at diverse times and on diverse occations threw some thing or other into his way that thereby he might stumble and fall or be discouraged and offended so that he might grow weary and not hold out but faint and go backward and not forward and to seeke for releife amongst his old lovers and acquaintance or might dig to himself a cistern for water which could hold none or take some other way or meanes for his deliverance and here with the man was so besett by the adversarie to divert his course and to draw him back againe to perdition and from following on to the salvation of his soule as is beyond utterance And can not be declared or beleeved as experience and the same state condition worketh the understanding of it And in that day when man if so surrounded by the devoureing enemy as it is said of him he goes about like a roaring Lyon compassing the earth to and fro seeking whom he may devoure he must make God alone his trust and hope and deliverer eying him in stedfastnes of heart and minde and not the adversary whose labour it is to draw the minde away after him and his feare or elce out there he can never come to know the deliverance and salvation which Jesus Christ is to all those that abides with him in the faith and hope of Gods elect but must be preyed upon and led into destruction for ever Now as this deceiver thus lay in waite and wrought to ensnare and beguile the man so all so the compassionate one ceased not to visit and secretly convey his help unto him and often it would be in his remembrance that he that putteth his hand to the plow and then loock back is not meet for the kingdom of heaven which he had so earnestly desired to enjoy neither was he that sowed sparingly to expect plentifully to reap but if he did so hope to do he would deceive him self and be as those that feed on ashes for in stead of haveing a harvest of well fild sheaves with hanging eares of corn he would at last reape the wind and be disapointed as those who began in the spirit and would be made perfect by the flesh or sought so to be So that now he began to learn to give up to the fire which burned and to the hammer which brake him downe in as much as might be quieting him self and submitting as that which was most proper for him in this his great suffering state and entertaind a feare in his heart least that he should offend the Lord againe by turning from his Judgments which were executing in him and from the terror and righteousnes thereof and therefore againe cryed out unto the Lord and sayd O Lord I praye thee since I have prayed to see thy day and its glory and that thou hast in thy great loveing kindnes brought me into the glorious dawnings and breakings forth thereof let not thy way be too narrow or streight for me let me not turn a side to the flocks of thy companions but as they went downe by the steps of the flock to the washing and returned by the tents of the sheepheards upon the bancks of salvation so I also into the holy habitation of thy heavenly rest may be brought by thine owne right arme in the way through it of condemnation at last to sit downe in the ministration of life to behold thy face in thy exceeding glory in joy and peace and teach me to apply my heart to wisdom which is hid from all the wise of this world for thou knowest that it is wisdom alone of thee which I crave to direct my feet a right in thy sight And that was the thing which he wanted alone desired of the Lord and thought with him self that he matterd not what he parted with or how or what he was in the account or eyes of the world so that he might finde rest And thus haveing made some progres in the blessed race of eternall life haveing in him a Judgment and understanding according to that experience of the effectuall working of the grace of God in him he adviseth all who is in any measure awakened into the sence of their want of the knowledge of God and of his great love in Jesus Christ and of their owne wofull and miserable estate thereby that they abide in submission unto the Lord therin and not seek to them selves wayes and meanes thereby to work their owne deliverance but in longings and groanings in their Spirits travell after the desire of their soules that so the Lord in his owne blessed way and time may open a door of understanding in their hearts for their acces unto him and strive not by unlawfull wayes and courses after redemption or an admission into the holy Kingdome whereinto nothing that defiles or is managed by mans skill or hand may come for many have striven and not enterd and asked and have not received because they have asked amiss and not striven lawfully Therefore feel the Lords heavenly arm and power to arise and worke deliverance and propound not to thy self an easy way of accessing to the flesh into the holy habitation of his eternall life for it must be by the sword the Judgment determined must be fullfilled and the fullfilling must be according to the counsel and righteouss will of the Lord to whom who may say what doest thou And abide his pleasure and let his Kingdom come into thy heart as he pleaseth if it be by a thundering power from heaven to cleave the rocks assunder and rending the vayle thereby of from thy hard heart with astonishments amazements and confoundings to thy vaine confidence and expectation Be still be still before the Lord and before the glorious ariseings of his holy power that he may work his work in the earth that will praise him and deliver thy soule hereby alone shalt thou know and come to witnes the Lords ransome for it is his and not thine and inherit that which thy soule languish in want off And those who are come to the redeeming power of the Lord and to the knowing of redemption in any measure and the feeling the judgment thereof for so it must be Zion is redeemed by judgment lye downe lye downe and flee not for thy life for if thou dost thou wilt loose it and in that day seek not to escape but let this be the travell of thy soule in bowednes of Spirit to submit unto him that thou mayst feel that mind and to be of it which can say true and righteous are thy judgments o Lord for thou judgest for the poor and needy of the earth Thus shalt thou know the effect of righteousnes peace and assurance for ever and the oyle of gladnes making thy face to shine with the innocent life and spirit of the Lamb and by no other meanes no other way These things are