THE HOLY Breathings OF A Devout Soul IN MEDITATIONS CONTEMPLATIONS AND PRAYERS Printed for Josh Conyers at the Anchor and Bible in Cornhill 1695. TO THE READERS GOod Readers and Friends such you are to me however I am or may be unto you what God shall cause me here to write as a Preface or Apology is not for my self at all but for you all that is all for you I seek not my self herein God forbid and God forbid I should have a thought or any itching to speak to make you speak in the behalf of me who am a poor man a nothing but sin as I am in my self therefore not fit to be mentioned no other than to be lamented as I am in my self and God to be praised and glorified as I am in him brought home to him living in him and for that I find and know that he liveth in me I have not nor I shall not I trust through Grace ever henceforth go aboue to speak or write my self but him that hath called me and as he shall enable me and shew forth himself in me and unto me for I desire to forget my self with my whole heart unless to humble me and to exalt the honour and praise of my God who hath not only created me but saved me his I am and his praises I will speak Wherefore all ye that shall come to see these lines and this following discourse I trust that you shall see the Power of God accompanying them and owning them for his own words and works and if you find them not on your own Spirits to be his disown them and me but I dare you so to do whoever you be Read them I willingly would you did and Ah would to God it were all your Portions to read them with a double Portion of his Spirit and Presence which I had when I writ them that he that gave them me would doubly thus give them unto you then I am sure you would never forget his loving kindness nor cease to publish his praises you would I am sure be never weary telling others the Love of God to your Souls O God that art all purity brightness love mercy and goodness compassionate I most humbly beseech thee the Souls of all those that thou hast appointed to work on by this thy Work it is O God thine not mine I acknowledge it I confess it I here proclaim and publish it and do for it desire to speak loudly thy Eternal and everlasting Praises fill them all O God with thine all with thy heavenly overflowings wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently filled feasted solaced and satisfied my Soul breath into them O God thine own sacred breath and set their affections in a holy flame â—hat they may burn in Love and Obedience to â—hy divine and holy Commandments and ever desire to live in them and never to live out of â—hem and let this heavenly holy fire of thy Love consume all other Love that is in them that is not from thee nor according unto thee that they may be all made holy as thou art holy pure as thou art pure and perfect as thou art perfect that shining in thy brightness all that see them may know them to be thine and behold thee in them and they in thee feast them O God as thou hast feasted me fill them with â—hy self as thou hast often filled me give them and make them partakers of all those heavenly gifts and graces which thou hast many times manifested and given unto me shew them O God shew them thy Kingdom Power and Glory overcome them Ah overcome them with thy ravishing beauty dart into their hearts â— beam of thy Divine Light that they may â—ee all things in some measure that are in thee O Lord that are in thee that they may know â—hee as thou art to be known and labour to puâ—ifie themselves as thou art pure Ah Lord arâ—ay them all with the most beautifull and transâ—endent glorious Robes of the righteousness of Jesus Christ thy dearly beloved Son that havâ—ng put him on thou mayest for ever own them for thine own and love them with that pure perfect and surpassing Love wherewith thou lovest them and give them I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ thine own holy Spirit to direct them to walk obediently and faithfully henceforth in all the ways of thy Commandments to the praise honour and glory of thy most holy and most glorious Name the Edification of the Brethren and the comfort and consolation of their own Souls in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ that when he shall appear at his second coming in glory they may also all of them appear with him Dear Friends I know that God hath not given me what he hath given me for my self alone because that what of it hath been already communicated unto others he hath with the blessing of his own Spirit made it a spiritual Blessing unto them wherefore I have good reason to believe besides the perswasion of divers gooâ— Christians that it will also find acceptation among you especially for whose sakes I do whaâ— I do that is make it publick wherefore if iâ— should meet with any so desperately critical oâ— devilish as to censure it or me let him oâ— them know that as I fear not so I care not whatever they say or do either against the one oâ— the other because I know that God knoweth botâ— my heart and my thoughts hereon and that enough to give me boldness to go on to do it anâ— â—so to rejoyce in the doing of it because he hath â—nd doth perswade â—e that this my labour shall â—ot be in vain in the Lord. And whoever thou â—rt that any ways censurest it or me I shall as â—eartily pray to God for thee and thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee â—nd convert thee even as if thou wert a part of â—ny very self and as if my well-being did consist â—n thy well-being for be thou whatever thou â—rt though I hate thy sin and be off 〈…〉 d at it â—et I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self â—nd thy Soul and would with my heart that it â—o so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with â—ne And I shall continue to contend with God â—n the behalf of thy Soul and the pardon of thy â—ns as for my own I know what it is to be â— great sinner and I also know through the â—nfinite and incomprehensible Love of God what â—t is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified â—anctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinkle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever â—hose heart and Soul
that I have all that I have Ah give this mercy also to be as willing to it thee back when thou wilt have it was willing to receive it when thou g 〈…〉 it 35. When man speaks to man it take no effect but when God speaks to whatever he speaks it shall take effeâ—â— 36. Let O Lord thy speaking to and in me be effectual for the be and not for the worse of my Soul savour of life unto life and not of dâ— death of life to my Soul and of death â—y sins â—7 I had rather hear and learn one thing the wisdome of God than a thouâ— thousand from the wisdome of men â—8 Let all thy truths in me O God be firmed to me by the powerful wisdome working of thy holy Spirit â—9 God's voyce brings me always joy comforts my sad heart but man's voice seth me alwaies grief and saddens my â—ul heart â—0 I had rather be ever alone with God â— want all other things than be one day â—out him to have and gain and keep other things besides him â—1 For when God is in me then am I in â—ven but when God is not in me then I in Hell for thy presence to me Lord â—o me Heaven upon earth and thy ab 〈…〉 ce O Lord Hell upon earth 42. It is thy self O Lord thy blessed that I desire and not the desires of other desires 43. When I have thee Lord I have all desires and yet when I have thee not â—o not because I cannot desire thee 44. So impotent am I as not able to â—l or desire my own good so poor a â—etch as not of my self â—o wish my self rich so much a slave as to be content yea willing and delight to ever to be a slave yea the worst of slaves even to my own sinful lusts although I know they will if lived in drown me for ever in the pit of Eternal destruction from which good Lord ever deliver me as thou hast delivered me keep me out as thou hast hitherto kept me out and preserve me to my lives end as thou hast preserved me from the beginning that I may ever live to thee for thee and to praise thee ever and for ever 45. Thou hast in mercy O God my God brought thy self thy ever sweet blessed gracious and most glorious self to me ah bring my self in love and obedience home unto thee 46. My words Ah my words I know well are but words and the breathings of a sinfull man but thy words O my Lord I well know also that they are the breathings of a holy God 47. Grant O God my God that all my words may breath out sorrow for sin and thy words breath in me the assurance of the pardon of sin 48. For whose sins O Lord thou forgivest thou also forgettest whom thou pardonest thou wilt save for where thou lovest thou livest and wilt I am sure ever live there in love 49. To be taught by thee O God of wisdom is to be well taught make me O Lord make me I beseech thee as willing to learn of thee as thou art willing to teach me 50. And give me grace O God to retain what I shall learn of thee that I may forget what I have learnt of my self and the world 51. If Earth's sweets are so sweet to earthly minds as they prefer it to the sweet of Heaven Ah how sweet are Heavens sweets to Heavenly minds and how do they prefer it to all the sweets on earth 52. How much sweeter O my God is the honey of thy word to the tast of my inward man than the Hony-comb of the world to the tast of my outward man 53. I had much rather say nothing then my own works do nothing then my own words and have nothing then all my own desires 54. Ah Lord God give me grace to live in Heaven whilst on earth by doing thy will on Earth as it is done in Heaven 55. They are not the words of the mouth but of the heart that are agreeable and well pleasing to thy heart O my God the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts 56. He that hath his heart right all things that he doth and doth not are right dear and precious in thy sight and according to thy heart O God the giver and maker of all hearts 57. When I sleep O God thou art still by me And when I wake I am still with thee So that whether I sleep or whether I wake I am sure O Lord thou dost me never forsake 58. To believe in God is to know God to know him is to love him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me until I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdom and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdom of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to wait that when thy Kingdom shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joys delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it 's thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientlâ— circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech thâ—e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the â—nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
thine accustomed good and gracious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me up to a Spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the sorest and the greatest of thy Judgments upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodness and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to pass by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Cross who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgment against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodness sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lusts I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy ways of holiness and righteousness all the days of my life that here here O Lord where I have despised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforth walk well pleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilsh life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy days O Lord and on our days in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth iâ— all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I besech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is in my heart by my doing thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven by crucifying and mortifying all sinful lusts and affections the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life for he that is born of God must and will overcome the world and depart from all iniquity Grant O my God in Jesus Christ that here where I have been a member of Satan I may be a member of Christ my Saviour bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh a member of his mystical body of grace here and of his glorious body in glory hereafter that here even here O Lord where I have been a Son of Satan a Child of wrath I may be an adopted Son and Child of God an heir of Heaven and Co-heir with Jesus Chsist of that Kingdom life and glory which he hath provided and prepared for the Saints in life where their God will not I trust be ashamed to be called my God nor their Father to be called my Father Inflame O Lord my heart with hearty and sincere zeal in thy service that I may not do thy work faintingly droopingly drousily nor negligently but faithfully circumspectly willingly cheerfully obediently and perseveringly unto the end of my days that thou O Lord my Lord and my God mayest be at all times in all places and above all things my joy my Crown of joy and my rejoycing my ultimate end aim and desire my supream soveraign principal chief and superiour good my lot my portion and mine inheritance for ever And to this end suffer me not O Lord I humbly beseech thee to walk in my old ways and paths of sin but in thine O Lord God of holiness and righteousness not according to mine own sinful and deceitful heart which is all evil only evil and continually evil but O God according to thine heart which is all good only good and continually good that thou mayest so delight me that all my delight may so delight thee and make thee O Lord God my only delight love me O Lord in Jesus Christ that I may love thee honour me that I may honour thee magnifie me that I may magnifie thee live in me that I may live in thee do all for me that I may do all and be all for thee that I may not henceforth O Lord speak mine own words but thine not think my own thoughts but
Lord mine all and let â—e be thine all 225. Though I much fear and would â—t commit any sin yet I am not at all aâ—id of all the Sins I have committed 226. Though I know that God hates all â—s yet I much rejoyce that I was made a â—ner 227. Though I know that God justifies â—e ungodly yet I would not be ungodly 228. Though I know that grace doth aâ—ound more then sin yet I would not sin â—at grace may abound 229. Did I doubt of the pardon of my â—ns to have their pardon I would not â—hoose willingly to commit one sin 230. Ah Lord do not only pardon all â—y sins but give me grace to sin no more 231. Let me O Lord be â—s unwilling to â—ve in sin as to dye in sin 232. Let me fear as much the commitâ—ing of any sin as the punishment of all my sins I have committed fear sin before â—mitted as the punishment after commiâ— yea fear sin more then the punishmeâ— sin choose the punishment and not sin â—ther then sin and have no punishment 233. Let me hate sin most because sin and therefore most to be hated 234. Let me hate sin as much after â— doned as before and before commitâ— as after 235. Let me O Lord hate sin as tâ— lovest a sinner that would not sin 236. Let me be O Lord as unwilâ— to commit sin as thou art willing to parâ— them when committed 237. Let me even be as unwillingâ— commit any sin as thou O Lord â— willing to pardon all Sins 238. Let me O Lord die to all â— that I may live to all grace 239. Though O Lord I know tâ— thou pardonest all sins and transgressioâ— yet suffer me not willingly to choose â— commit any sin nor consent to any Trâ—gression 240. Let sin dye that grace may live Let grace live that sin may dyeâ— 241. Let Sin dye in me that thou maâ—est O Lord live in me 242. Let me dye to sin that I may Lord live to thee â—43 Let me O Lord dye to Sin whilst â—e that I may not dye in sin when I am â— â—44 Let me O Lord so dye here to â— that I may not dye hereafter for sin â—45 O Lord let me so dye as I may not â— Eternally â—46 Let sin O Lord be rooted out of â— that I may be rooted in thee and â— in me my sweet and saving Jesus â—47 Let me O Lord be so rooted in â— as I may never be rooted out of thee â—48 Let me Lord take such deep root That I may bring forth much fruit â—49 Let my Root be such in thee That my fruit be much to me Let my fruit be such to thee That the Fruit be like the Tree â—50 Let O Lord my death to Sin appear â—he appearance of the life of grace â—51 Let me O Lord so live as I may â—er dye but to Sin â—52 Let me O Lord so live to thee â— as I may ever live with thee and in â— hereafter â—53 Were not thy work O God the â—rk of my Salvation yet would I prefer it â— do it before that of my Salvation A Prayer AH most blessed Incomprehensible and â—nal Lord God Glorious in Holâ— fearfull in Praises doing wonders the â—vens are not pure in thy sight and yet thoâ— graciously pleased in Jesus Christ to look dâ— and to dwell in poor Man who is sinfull â— and Ashes thou livest only in the highest â—vens and in the lowest hearts the one is Kingdom of Glory the other of thy Grace â— Lord make my heart so low in my own esteeâ— it may be so high in thine that thou may'st â— it thy delight to dwell in it for ever Ah â— when I consider all that thou hast done for â— and all that I have done against thee I aâ— shamed and confusion seems to cover my facâ— Vail having O Lord transgrest all thy and just Laws and broken wilfully williâ— knowingly and presumptuously all thy Diâ— Commandments from the first to the last â— the greatest to the least as well by Commâ— as Omission as well by Actual sin as Origâ— sin knowingly as well as ignorantly both â— fully and willingly on thy days as well aâ— our days in thy house as in other houses inâ—ing thy work as in doing my own work inâ—ties as well as out of duties praying sins â— sins meditating sins Sermon sins and Saâ—ent sins so that my repentance must be reâ—ed off and my Prayers Prayed against eâ— my sighs and groans have need of tears â—ash them and my very tears of doubled â— How Lord have I made thy holy things unâ— unto my self and turned thy graces into â—tonness and quencht the motions of thy hoâ—irit by wilfulness how Lord have I treaâ—d up wrath against the day of wrath unto my â— soul and made thee a savour of death unto when thou comest as a Savour of life how â—e I Lord hated to be reformed and turnâ—rom thee when thou camest running towards in love and in mercy how have I cast thy â—ises behind my back and trampled thy preâ—s under my feet how many times have I â—ken my Promises Vows and Covenants â—e with thee in my straights with how much â—e eagerness and earnestness have I served â— sinful Lusts then thee in thy services my â—d Lord God! and how much more pains â—e I taken for earthly things then for heaâ—ly how much more delight some have these â—gs below and the remembrance of them â—en unto me then the things above how â—ch sweeter hath sin been to me then grace â—â— how have I bent my will against thy great â—â— holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the ways â—ternal destruction and how good Lord â— I vehemently delighted and laboured to â— others to commit the same sins and to dâ— same things how easily and how willingly â— believe the suggestions of the Devil and â— what willingness have I left thy work â— how often good Lord to do his nay wâ— is yet worse how often have I tempted him tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew â— the wages of sin was death even Tempâ— Spiritual and Eternal for body and soul dâ— my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins those I do not to those I cannot remember â— that both for greatness and multitude yea wâ— are all the sins I have committed to thâ— would have committed had'st not thou in lâ— and in mercy O most gracious loving â— most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ â— strained me and come in continually unto help and succour even when I was altogetâ— helpless and succourless thou did'st O Loâ— own me when I would not own thee thou diâ— run after me when I did my utmost to run frâ— thee thou did'st O Lord continue knockiâ— when I would not open to thee and wert'st â—tented such was thy endearing loving love â— to me to stand at the door of my
heart wiâ— out untill thy locks were wet with the dewâ— â—aven and when I was most pitiless then â—'st thou most pity me and took'st me from â— self and out of the power of all my adverâ—ies and did'st enter with forceable possession â—o my heart there to lodge sup and dwell â— ever tho' thou foundest it to be more unâ—an then a dunghill and is not this enough â—cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth â— stand amazed and with wonder and aâ—ishment to admire the condescension of so great God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay â—at couldst thou do more for me then thou hast â—e to bring me out of the death of sin to the â— of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into â— suburbs of Heaven methinks Ah me â—ks I may truely say out of Hell it self â— Heaven it self such a vast difference there â— such a blessed and glorious change there is â—eady blessed and ever magnified and praisâ—e thy ever blessed great and most gloriâ— name of Jehovah my strength and my â—tion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me â— of the pawes of that roaring Lyon the â—il who had almost devoured me but hast â—en me of thine own power and strength to â— come him to trample him under my feet â— to despite him to his very face thou hast â—vered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my â— deceitfull wicked heart thâ—â— did thus beâ— me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretcâ— I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I a worm and no man the greatest and â— chiefest of sinners the very worst of the â— of men O Lord accept of what I have to gâ— thee of these two poor mites my soul and bâ— true O Lord I confess and acknowledge â— they are not worthy to be put into thy â— Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stâ— on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jâ— Christ I am sure they will pass for our â—coyn in thy Heavenly Court and thou â— own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Tâ— sure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy â— and let thy love be setled upon mine tâ— may be out of love with all that I may beâ—ly in love with thee and let all my menâ— and faoulties be but as instruments to act holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and greâ— good when wilt thou by thine Almighty pâ—utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me â— shall the time O Lord come that it shaâ— Crucified unto me and I unto it when shalâ— time come that I shall see it no more when the time come that thou wilt O Lord givâ— a finall Victory over it and totally destrâ— â—hen Lord shall come that blessed day whereâ— I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an â— garment and never more put it on when â— tears fears sighs and groans for sins â—ll be expell'd and extinguished when thou O â—rd my sweet and blessed Jesus shalt only be â— all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my â—rt that my heart be not in sin and though â— rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it â—ver raign in me a moment as a Soveraign â—d though I cannot live without sin yet good â—rd for thy goodness sake let me live without â—senting unto delighting in or approving of â—y sin whatsoever either in thought word or â—d but let there be always and continually in â— a heedfull watchfull carefull circumâ—ct care though temptations fall on me let â— not fall into temptation but deliver me â—m all evill O thou my Father which art in â—aven and cause me to work out my Salvaâ—n with fear and trembling and to labour â—re and more to make my calling and election â—e before I go hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the â—ndance of thy love and mercy provided for â— a Kingdom which cannot be shaken let me â—ve grace in my heart to come before thee and worship thee the true God wâ—â—h reverence â—d godly fear that I may always run and not grow weary and walk and not faint wâ— O Lord all thy Laws of grace in my hâ— and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I never go astray to the right hand of pleasâ— or to the left hand of profits wean me O Lâ— from the world e're thou take me out of world and whilst I do live in the world me be dead to it and to all the things of which are the honours riches and pleaâ— thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the and the pride of life and give me those thâ— and those things only which may make thine and onely thine that I may be alâ— thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world â— I used it not that I may not abuse it my nor thee who hast given it me to use but â— abuse give me O Lord I humbly beseech in Jesus Christ grace to be always minâ— of my last end and of the reckoning thâ— must make before thee the judge of Heâ— and Earth take away all my doubts â— and cares for the things of this life that I cast all my care on thee who carest for for the earth is thine and the fulness tâ— of grant O Lord that I may know hoâ— want and how to abound and to be alâ— content in all conditions knowing that things shall be for my greatest good and â—ugh affliction be in the night yet joy shall me in the morning grant O Lord I beseech â—ee that my last thoughts may be my best â—ughts and my last days O Lord my best â—ys grant O Lord that I may be willing lose all to gain thee and to esteem it no loss â—t great gain grant that I may be willing to â—crease that thou maist O Lord increase to â—nd and to be spent for thee and to follow â—ee the Lamb of Righteousness wheresoever â—ou goest grant that I may be as willing to â—ear the Crown of Thorns to obey thee here the Crown of Glory to praise thee hereafter â—d grant O Lord that I may be as willing suffer for thy glory as to raign with thee in â—ory and that I may desire Heaven much â—ore for thee then thee for Heaven Ah Lord I could be content with Mary to â—t at thy feet and to wash them with my tears â—nd to stand behind thee being altogether aâ—amed to come before thee how willingly â— Lord how willingly do I with Jeremy wish â—hat my head were a Fountain of water that â—ine eyes might gush out Rivers of Tears and Ah that I could with David weep continually with Magdalen abundantly and with â—eâ—er bitterly that I might give my soul no rest â—ntill I come into thy blessed Arms the blesâ—ed joyfull
and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights be to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulness of Joy 19. And if our Joys be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here â—n earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall all be done away and our pleasures be for evermore 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on Earth be so sweet Ah how delicious and sweet yea sweetly delicious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favorites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and sit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightness here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would always be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulness of his bright beautifull glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightness and glory they have all their glorious brightness and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehenslbly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages her whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but always please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly Heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glass Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see thee clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yea that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love thee only and to serve thee with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatness and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be always graciously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthiness his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and conversation all the rest of my days and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infiniteness and incomprehensibleness of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heavens even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise Thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gracious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the Children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wilderness with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the fiery Furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy Creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whither thou hast by
thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any temptation so as to prevail over me but though temptations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remain in my heart my heart may not remain in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdom the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the World and the Flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is born of a woman that he should be righteous Behold he putteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more unclean filthy and abominable am I than any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin coveted sinning and sought it as for hid Treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O teach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most precious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightful are thy ways and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandments and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desirable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountain the Ocean the Original of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what are all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better than all things for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctificaâ—ion remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked One with all the Powers of the Kingdom of Darkness Sin Hell Death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its Lusts for such they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born again of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs mystical body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly Members of his glorious Body for they that are betroth'd unto him here by grace shall be hereafter married unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee lose all to enioy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whither thou wilt go even as a chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his arms esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine arms and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whilst here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtain that measure and degree of holiness that my
love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing always to dye for thy Love and to witness and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond any love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creator's own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 36. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescension is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aim of our end and the end of our aim is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend its greatness it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently express ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benumm'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses's bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and Transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his beloved Son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy Countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not always thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy Soul delighted only 47. Thy Love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life out of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pâ—eased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is True love in loving
more and more what is the length the breadth the height of the depth of his love to his Children and Servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor express and it so filleth their hearts with such joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that Heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in Heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegroom arrayeth us with even his own Righteousness and true holiness this filleth our lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voice Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his Sons and Daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that please him please them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to bless and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come to Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is always open for sin and for uncleanness this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the loss of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousness wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully chearfully and patiently all that is commanded them always saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with David My heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptible as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my Soul desireth to have on earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor Souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Halleluiahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberless number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his Enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the ways of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battle and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the ugliness and filthiness of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a Child of God and an Heir of Heaven yea Co-heir with Jesus Christ it makes them a Child of Wrath an Heir of Hell and Co-heir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengeance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct them and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holiness 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partakers of his own holy and divine nature to love the
him glory for all which is what he only requires for this his continually giving of us all even to give him continually for ever and ever all glory for his thus ever and for ever giving us all grace perfect grace and glory yea fulness of all perfect grace and glory 281. As on Earth we delight to have much so nothing more delights God than that we crave much the more we ask the more we are sure to have and therefore doth he bid us to open our mouths wide and then he promiseth to fill them and the wider they are the sooner they shall be filled his ways nor his thoughts are not as ours he is never weary giving nor repenteth importunate beggars are best welcome and those that are not satisfied with a little he takes pleasure to give them much our dissatisfaction herein is his satisfaction our covetings cause his liberality with our ambition to have all and to be denyed nothing at all he is right well pleased and by thus exalting him as our chief and only good doth he exalt us and set us on such high mountains that we can even see not only such glory as is the glory of this World and the old Jerusalem but that of his Kingdom of Grace here and Glory hereafter the New Jerusalem the City of our God where he is sitting on his Throne of Majesty and great Glory unvailing himself as it were that we may behold him and his unapproachable transcendent bright glorious light of Glory 282. I would be willingly barren even of all Spiritual comforts if thereby I might be made more able to bear fruit to God and for God I would have no comfort nor delight if thereby as it were I could and did more delight and comfort my God that is I would rather Joy God than enjoy God by knowing or feeling not that I could be content to know that I were without him that he were not my God God forbid but I prefer him much before my own chief good of Joy his glory being my only yea all my Glory 283. I would rather yea much rather do God's work here and have no wages than have wages here and do no work 284. I had rather yea much rather whilst here be always working than always receiving wages for this life of time I know is appointed for our working time and our hereafter life of time for our time of receiving wages 285. I would whilst here be willing to spend all my time to do all good for I know that all my hereafter time shall be spent in receiving all good 286. I would willingly most willingly work Gods work always while here for that Ah for that blessed wages which I know I shall receive from him for ever hereafter which is such and so great as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man at any time to conceive I know that I shall enter not only into the joy of my Lord but also into the Lord of my joy 287. It is wagâ—s great enough and good enough to be always doing thy great good work O Great God 288. I would willingly Ah most willingly serve the Lord most and best of all men If I could and yet I desire as much and as willingly would that every man might serve him more and please him better 289. Ah what delight is it to that soul that delights his God what joy doth it bring to that heart that joyeth his God that is to rejoyce always in him for God much delighteth in those yea most of all that make him their only delight 290. Ah Lord how unpleasant are all other pleasures to those that flow from thee how empty Ah how empty is all other fulness what poverty Ah how beggarly a thing is all other riches and how little Ah how little joy doth that Soul take in all other things that knoweth thee and the Ocean of joy yea fulness of joy and blessedness that is O Lord in thee and prepared by thee to rejoyce them that thus wait at thy gates and are hungar-starved for want of it 291. Who can Ah who can measure the Heavens span the Earth empty the Sea count the Stars and the sands of the Sea-shore if not who then caâ— rightly speak of or tell the mercies of our God who delighteth in mercy yea whose mercies are far above all these and all other his works 292. How willingly Ah how willingly would I forget my self to mind only my God and to do all his mind to fulfill all his will and to rejoyce in all his doings I would love my self my own self no more but only my God my God only and ever adore I would willingly deny my self that is my flesh all pleasures to please him that hath rivers of pleasures provided to please fill and satisfie me with even such as flow from his own right hand 293. Ah Lord God how much better is it to see thy sweet thy blessed and most amiable face in thine Ordinances and in duties than the face of the most gloriouâ— Angel in glory 294. Yea Lord yea thy back parts here I much prefer to see and behold than all their faces 295. Surely a day yea one hour of a day is to be preferred of communion with thee before the enjoyment of all things out of thee all our days 296. For in thee O Lord in thee is all things but out of thee is nothing desirable 297. All sweets but thine are bitter 298. But O Lord how savoury yea how pleasant and sweet are thy bitter when thou seasonest them with grace 299. Thy Voyce rejoyceth O Lord more that Soul to whom it speaketh peace than all the joyes of the World can to any man if he did always and ever enjoy all their sweets and never enjoy any of their bitter 300. Above all things and more than all things my soul desireth thee O Lord God who art the Lord of all things 301. Loving of God is knowing of him fearing of him is adoring of him choosing him shews a delight in him running after him is prizing of him seeking of him shews our longing desire for him to hunger and thirst for him is embracing of him with eager covetings to serve him is to honour him to rejoyce in him is to glorifie him to praise him is to magnifie him and to worship him is to exalt him 302. It is better and more profitable many times to be silent than to speak for the eagerness of our desires to speak takes away and hinders us from comprehending what we do hear so as we consider not what is spoken so much as what we desire and would speak 303. But Ah how much better is it to hear the Spirit of God speak to our hearts than the spirit of man to our ears or our selves to our selves to consult with the spirit and to talk with the spirit than with the flesh either our own or others
God my God is so good he is so good and so delightfull as he is now become my whole and my sole delight 78. Ah if it could be ever thus with me I am sure I should never want any of these things that the flesh craves not bread to feed me not drink to refresh me not cloaths to cover me having and possessing the things above and could they Ah and could they always be possest I think none but mad men and fools will dare say that we want any of the things below though we should want them all As to me I am sure I should not find any want if I could be always as I have been sometimes 79. But O Lord I praise thee O Lord I mightily prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of Tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done until thy Kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God are vanity foolishness nothingness will flye from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defâ—nd us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable poverty to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious Robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comly to my ugliness to make me lovely to my wretchedness and misery to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and coÌ„unt the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensibly great 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were already come unto them they have already as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into Heaven even whilst we are here on Earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is Heaven O God because thou raignest See here in some little measure what Heaven is and what Hell is there and Hell is Hell because thou raignest not there Heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there Hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for Hell would not be Hell if thou wert there O God in love it is thy presence that maketh Heaven Heaven and it is thy absence that Hell is Hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is Heaven Hell is filled with thy frown and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely Hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is Heaven Hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but Hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of Heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath always thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore Heaven is such a Heaven as it is but Hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable Heaven is Heaven in Heaven yea such a blessed Heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and Hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in Heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in Hell because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this Heavenly Heaven this light this glory this transcendant incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be always altogether fully filled
thee and what is there on all the Earth in comparison of thee all other joys are false joys and all other things are nothing but meer toyes for with thee O God and only with thee is all joy unspeakable joy and everlasting pleasures are at thy right hand 169. Ah Lord our God thou art all in all things for without thy presence the best and the greatest things are nothing to that Soul that knoweth thee what thou art 170. Thou art O God the sweet of all sweets the light of the light the glory and the bliss in glory As in thy presence is all joy So in thy absence is all sorrow to all Souls that are acquainted with thee and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy mysteries Such an endless and bottomless delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 171. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 172. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodness of those that are good the blessedness of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 173. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 174. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 175. Let me thus have thee I say always have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 176. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that cause me to draw back from thee 177. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 178. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confess it 's thine and not mine 179. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 180. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessedness even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 181. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 182. For out of thee O God my Heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 183. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my Heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thy own 184. Ah Lord Let me be always on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 185. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 186. Ah Lord God let me always have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eyed it and rejoyced in it and Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 187. Ah Lord cause me always to eye those things that are invisible that eye never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endless everlasting joys that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 188. Let me Ah let me always harken to hear that sweet and blessed voice of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 189. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must pass away us in a moment in the twinkling of an eye But that our Souls are immortal and shall live for ever and ever in endless unexpressible joys or endless everlasting unexpressible Torments 190. How low Ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of Men or Angels to express and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodness which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never dye and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 191. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joys that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 192. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 193. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weakness in such as see confess and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those
of my natural darkness which is darker than the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter than the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Laws and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fill me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us that Gal. 3. 27. makes us Christians which is to be like Christ to be Baptized in him to have put him on and this oneness with Christ God is in all the Saints all the Saints are thus one in God with Christ he in us and we in him MEDITATIONS ON DEATH HOW It appears to the Godly and to the Wicked after a great Sickness ALL happiness is in Christ and in possessing of him and there is no true happiness out of Christ All the whole world is much too little and too low to be compared to Christ and to the living in him Though he should want bread to eat and Cloaths to put on Christ I am sure alone will satisfie and truly please and content any man A naked Christ a poor Christ that is a Christ that shall bring nakedness and if as with Job Poverty and uncomliness he will be to a Soul that truly knows him the fairest of ten thousand without spot or wrinkle the only fair and beautiful the only desirable the whole and only desires the riches honour treasure and pleasure of all souls that truly know him A soul that truly knows Christ cannot live as he would without a farther knowledge of him living in him to have Communion and fellowship with him which is of more value to him and he prizeth it more than ten thousand worlds and lives Christ being above all things and more than all things much by much A Christians last hour is his best hour the hour of his Death is the best hour of all his life yea that hour is the true beginning of life for Death sin and Hell are swallowed up into Victory and the Devil totally and finally overcome Death is advantagious unto a Christian divers wayes when he dyes then he begins to live in the Lord who is the Lord of life and glory then he shall in a very great measure know feel and see the unspeakable love of God to him but I conceive not altogether so as it is in God that shall even surpass our knowledge there for we shall be swallowed up into it and be filled with it it shall contain us but we shall not be able to contain it and there shall we have continual and perfect love to love God perfectly and continually even as he would have us to love him which is the continual fulfilling the whole Law and which will make us of all things most like himself for God is love and surely it is the most lovely grace of all graces both on earth as well as in Heaven and so through grace I have found it Ah let us never then pray against Death which brings us these and a thousand more Heavenly advantages but rather be prepared to meet it with joy and embrace it as our best friend next to Christ Ah how sweet is Death even almost as Heaven to that soul that is housed in God and hath his peace made sure with him Death to such a soul is much better than any life Ah how sweet is Death to that soul that knows Heaven is prepared for him and finds and feels himself prepared for Heaven and sees his Saviour with his blessed arms spread abroad to welcome and embrace him and his glorious head bowed down to kiss him and he nigh him to receive him into his Everlasting Habitation of rest joy and peace Death at the worst is but a sweet sleep to the body to him that dyes in the Lord for he rests from all his labours but it is life to the soul and it shall ever live in and with the Lord of life and Glory I am sure to a good Christian that is such a one as is in some measure like Christ that lives and walks and doth as far as he is able as Christ did when he was here in the flesh the thoughts of death and its being not far off bring him the most joy next to the Glory of God and his interest in him by Christ Ah how sweet is death to that soul that knows himself to be long since dead to all sin Death is sweet to all such souls because he be-friends them so much as in a moment to house them in the blessed arms of their blessed Redeemer Christ Jesus Death is sweet to them that are in Christ because he carries them in a moment to live in his presence for ever and for ever and to enjoy him as he is to be enjoyed and to be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious Death is to all that are in Christ as Elijah's Chariot of fire which purifies them and expels all the remainder of Corruption that is within them that is by death all evil is done away we are no more capable of sin by death death is destroyed and life appears But Death to the wicked is the Devils Chariot sent from Hell to bring them quickly there as Jehu's Chariot it drives them furiously thither from whence none is able to deliver Death to the Godly is a Consuming fire to all their sins they shall not ever more be seen or remembred but it is a fire as from Gods Altar to purifie their graces and to make them shine more radiant than the Sun after death they shall in a moment be made perfectly pure and purely perfect and ever so abide But Death to the Wicked is that fire of Hell that shall consume all the good that ever they did so as it shall not nor cannot be seen nor remembred but it will make all the evil that ever they committed either in thought word or deed to be ever before the eyes of God and all the blessed in Heaven and before the Devils and all the damned and their own as if writ with a beam of the Sun Death to those that are in Christ brings them to hear that sweet and ever blessed voice of Christ himself come ye blessed inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from all Eternity and well done good and faithfulâ— Servant enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. But death to the Wicked will bring them in a moment for ever to hear that most doleful voice from the mouth of Christ go ye cursed with whom with the Devil and his Angels into everlasting burning into that fire that cannot be quenched which