as may conduce to the honour of your Ma'ts person safety the comfort of your people and vnyting of both the Realmes against the common enemies of the reformed religion and your Ma'ts petitioners shall c. The names of such Earles and Barrons as subscribed this petion vi'zt Earles Bedford Hartford Essex Mougraue Warwick Bullingbrooke Rutland Lincoln Exetor Uicecomptes Lord Say Seale Mandifeeld Brooke Harford North Willoby Sauell Wharton Loveles Saint John Articles of agreement made concluded and done this 28 of Sep'ter in the yeare of grace 1641. and of the world 5662. By and betweene the high and mighty Prince Lucifer King of sticks and Phlegeton the holy and most superstcious Primate of the roman Church the Cardinals Bishops Iesuites priests and Semenaries of the one party And Iudge bribery Lawyer corruption Aturny contencion Solissitor Sedition Iustice Conivence Iaylor opression and State Negligence of the other party In manner and forme following Imprimis IT is this day mutually agreed by betweene the seuerall parties aboue named That there shal be a league offenciue defenciue concluded confirmed by both parties at or before Holy roode day next insuing the date hereof Item That whereas there hath binn lately by the subtill practises of some Parliamentary reformists a discord and discension raised betweene the state ecleasiasticke and the State of the Inns of court whereby there hath hapned no small preiudice vnto the eclesiasticke state the likes whereof is to be doubted may also fall vpon the state of the Inns of Court and so concequently vpon the Crowne and dignity of ovr Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer Jt is therefore mutually agreed that all former controvercies and contentions betweene both parties shall sease and that all unity peace and concord shall be imbraced on either side according to the expressions in the precedent artickel to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his crowne dignity Item It is agreed that the said state of the Inns of Court and the state Eclesiasticke afore said Shall ioyntly and severally vse the vttermost of their strength power and policy To resist suppress all such proceedings of this present parliament which shall any way tend to the Reformation and suppression of Opression Extortion Bribery Contention Tradition And that they shall will with all their might power and policy endeauour and striue to broche Advance and maintaine All the said severall impietise again To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity Item Jt is agreed by berweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and the whole state ecclesiasticke of the one part And Iudge bribery That forthwith vpon the dissolution of this present Parliament He the said Iudge bribery is then againe to put in practise the taking of bribes passing of fals iudgement and maintaining his fals corrupt centences and decreese to be things sacred infaliable Oppressing the innocent by clos imprisonment and also fauouring all Iesuites Priests and Semenaries if any of them happen by the Instruments of Justice to be laid hold on Animating and instructing all Aturnies Soliceters and Clarkes for and to the sowing of strife and contention amongst the people of the land To the honour of our Sofferaign Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity Item It is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Lawyer corruption that he the said lawyer corrupcion shall notwithstanding any powerfull Parliamentary reformation still parsist in takeing fees both of playntiue and defendant nor shall ever bring any honest cause to its period vntill he hath in fees devoured the whole substance both of plaintiue and defendant neither shall he the said Lawyer corruption euer at any time giue any true and preualent advice to any his clyents but shall delude and delay them vntill he hath draynd them as aforesâ—id to the vtter ruine of them their wiues and children to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and the propagation of his Crowne and dignity To their owne present rich impiety and asured sucsesefull pardition Jtem It is agreed and concluded by and betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Aturny Contention That he the said Atturny contention shall and will at all times in all places and vpon all occasions vse his best dilligence to sow debate strife varience contentioÌ„ amongst the people of the land without exception of persons yea he shall not omitt to set the father against the son and the son against the father as also one Brother against the other to the vtter ruine of their estates houses and families to that end he shall dispose of himselfe and all his imphes into all the quarters and severall corners of the Kingdome neither shall there be any market towne or place of habitation but he shall seat himselfe there to the intent and purpose aforesaid To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity to the advancement of the said sience of iniquity Jtem Jt is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Solissetor Sedition That he the said Solissetor Sedition shall will at all times vse his best endeauovr to stir vp animate and encourage all people of what condicion degree profesion soever vnto sutes in the law that he the said Solisetor Sedition shall will proue faithfull vnto all Lawyers Aturnies and shall and will be slow in the prosecution of any mans cause whatsoever and spin out the thred therof to its full length espeacially in the Courts of equity by multiplicity of Begeting orders and by not omitting to haue this clause incerted into every of his orders videliset vnles cause be shewed to the contrary at the next court day by the defendant as also by falsifiing of orders Through the corrupting of registers and corrupting of councell in an honest cause by deceiueing his clyants through false uniust bills of charges by brybing the Judges of the severall courts and the masters of the Chancery Richly to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and the eternall damnation of Solissetor Sedition Jtem It is agreed concluded in Perpetuum between our Sofferainge Lord King Lucifer and Iaylor oppression that whereas through the rigoure of the law many poore Christian soules are commited vnto his keeping safe custody for sundry causes and sometimes for no iust cause at al He the said Iaylor opression shall and will by himselfe his Clarkes and servants be void of all mercy and compassion towards them and shall and will as much as in him lieth endeavour to worke the vtter ruine of the estates and liues of all such as shall be committed to his custody and to that end he the saide Jaylor oppression shall nor will not be slack in giuing bribes otherwise stiled new-yeares gifts yearely unto all the Judges of the courts of Iustis for towards the better incouragement
respect to them and their dambenable actions for our honour We are pleased to take spetiall notice of that service which they most willingly endeauored to efect for the confusion of all the heritiks Jnhabiting England Scotland Ireland and the Netherlands by the late conceaued Jnvincible Armado procured from Spaine in the yeare of our raigne 5660. Which through the providence of the Celestiall powers then ouer them And the dissturbance of Martain Harper Trump here below Failâ—ed of that Sucses which we together with them expectod and hoped for To our no lesse sorrow then theirs Nor can we but aplaud the dilligent care taken by our Children servants of greatest quality in that Kingdom In preventing the discovery of that Jnvasiue plott by the heritikes and their small well-meaneing State Through their speidy flight to dover Rode and private Conference there with Don Oquindo the Generalissimo of Spaine to that effect All which was most exquesitly performed especially by our hispaniolized lacklatine Lord our deerely beloued Servant And lastly our hope is that this presant plott sett on foot by these our trusty well-beloued chlldren and Servants aforenamed by their earnest endeuours our assistance once effected will Crowne all our labours to our unspeakeable Terrestriall glory and their eternal favours by vs to be conferred on them in our Royall pallace of perdition where we haue already Imposed our Royal command vpon our trusty and wellbeloued cozen and councelor Peotâ—r Tretyacoue Chancelor Evane Becklemeesheue our Knight Marshall Richardo Slowe Treasurer and Don Serborus grand Porter of our said Pallace to giue them free admittance into our Royall Presence Thus no wayes doubting of your singular care and dilligence in fullfilling this our Royall will and Pleasure hereby expressed we do further impose our Royall favour and Princely respect to be by you presented vnto our trusty and wellbeloued cozen and councellour your present â—untio in the Court of England as also vnto our beloued children and servants the Bishops Jesuites Priests and Semenaries our faithfull agents in this invinceable plott and also to all our faithfull subiects servatns the Romane Catholikes of England We are pleased to remaine Your Royall Sofferraigne and Patron of all your dambenable plots and stratagems now in hand Giuen at oure Infernall pallace of perdition this 1. of September and in the 5661 yeare of our most dambnable raigne Poste Scripte Since the aboue written wee are creadibly informed of the intention of a most scandelous petition to be deliuered by asmall number of heriticall Lords vnto their King at Yorke which doth not a little touch our honour and the discouery of this our present stratagem Our expresse will and pleasure is that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same And the authors thereof sevearely punnished and Pomfret Castell alotted vnto them for their abode vntil our wil and pleasure be further known and this our dissigne be effected of which faile you not as you tender our Royall favour the suckses of this our dissigne and your owne safety Farewell Antonio Furioso Diabelo Principalio Secretario Cousider this and marck the substance well It seemes a letter from the finnd of hell What er the form or method seeme to be Th' intent thereof was quite the contrary Had this not rung a knell in som mens eares Th' had neare bin freed from their slauish fearse Of tyrany opression and th Bishops pride Iudges and Lawyers a wicked crewe beside Of Docters procters that the Realme did swaye Trod vnder foote Gods truth turnd night to day Strove to coufound great Brittayns Monarchy Iustice and truth peruert advance t i m Piety And all by this Romse doctrine to preferr Obey the Pope and serue King Lucifer That is the cause why them he doth aplaud That he thereby with them may haue the LAVD And honour due vnto his servants all That striu by him to worke great Brittaynes fall A TRVE COPPJE OF THE PETITION WHICH WAS BY THE LORDS PRESENTED VNTO THE KING at Yorke Seprember the 12. 1640. To the Kjngs most Excelent majesty THe humble petition of your Ma'ties most Loyall subiects whose names are here under subscribed in the behalfe of themselues and divers others Most gracious Sofferaigne The sence of that duty we owe to Gods sacred Majesty our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your Realme of England haue moued vs in all humility to beseech your Royall Ma'ty to giue vs leaue to offer to your princely wisdom the apprehencion which we and others your faithfull subiects haue conceiued of the great distemper and danger now threatnig this Church state your royall person of the fittest meanes to remoue preuent the same The evils dangers whereof your Ma'ty may be pleased to take notice of are these That your Ma'ties sacred person is exposed to hazard danger in this present expedition against the Scotish Army that by ocasion of this warr your Ma'tys revenuse are much wasted your subiects burthened with cote and conduct mony billiting of souldiers other military charges divers rapinse disorders committed in severall parts of this your realme by the souldiers raised for that service the whole realme full of fearse discontentments The sundry innovations in maters of Religion the oath of 〈◊〉 lately imposed vpon the cleargy others of your Ma'ties subiects the great increase of popery imploying of popish recusants others ill affected vnto religeon-are established in places of power trust especially in comanding of men armse both in the feeld in sundry other Coumpties of this your Realme which by the lawse they are not permitted to haue any armes in their owne houses The great mischiefe that may fall vpon this Kingdom if the intention which hath beene creadibly reported of the bringing in of Irish and forraigne forces should take effect The heauy charge of marchants to the great discouragement of trade The multitude of monapolies and other pattents whereby the commodities and manufactures of this Kingdome are much burthened to the great and vniversall grivances of your people The great griefe of your subiects with the long Intermission of Parliaments the late former disoluing of such as haue bin called without the happy effects which otherwise they might haue produced For remedy whereof preuention of the danger that may ensue ro your Roy all person the whole state They do in all humility faithfullnes beseech your Ma'ty that you will be pleased to summon a Parliament in some short convenient time whereby the causes of these other great grivances which your people suffer under may be taken away the Authors councelors of them may be brought to such legall tryall condigne punnishment as the nature of their offences shall require and that the present warr may bee composed by your Ma'ties wisdome without bloudshed in such a manner
a certaine number of falce and corrupt Iudges it is seasoned with the spice of aged detestable couetuousnes bribery extortion oppression iniustice unmercifullnes and with parvertion of all the statute lawes garnished with ship money forrest mony lone mony and a multitude of Jsoprises but this dish is by his ma'ties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar pallate Pope His Majesties will be done J shall be ever ready obedient to all his Ma'ties commands nor will I presume to taste of it but onely passe my iudgment on it that it is a Princely dish fit onely for his Majesties table What is the next J pray my Lord Card'i The next may it please your holynes is a large Golden charger contayning a very great number of bace minded covetuous uniust extorting oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them vttered at a barr of iustice at a farre higher price then your holynes doth your Buls issued forth for remission of sins these caterpillers his ma'ti king Lucifer hath brought into such great esteeme with all the Jnhabitants of England as that no man of quality thinks his hous to stand vnles it bee supported by one of those vermine pillars and broud of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one twenty-shillings-peece to 5. to 10. yea to 20. espeacially by those who are stiled the iudges favourites all this is giuen some times but for the speaking of 2. or 3. words it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides deluding clyents spining out the thred of an honest cause to its full length vntill the purs-strings both of plaintife and defendant crack and then they are tied together by a commission into the country where these catterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many Gods by all the people this dish is garnished with some 10000. pestifferous petty fogging sedicious 10-groat Atturnnies one of whose parfidious bills of charges in one tearme advances it-selfe sometimes vnto the sum of 5. 10. 20. yea 30 pounds espeacialy wheÌ„ he finds his clyent naturally inclyned to the conditions of an asse And on every of these garnishes haÌ„gs 5 â—onny-catching deceaitful Solissitors properly termed Lawyers-limetwigs traps or nets to catch the poore silly creatures caled clyents this dish his Ma'ty hath also reserved for his owne table Pope It is a Princely dish indeed and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch as is our most dambnable Sofferaigne King Lucifer the opperation vertue of which dish is able to season a whole kingdome to be fit meat for his Ma'ties pallate espeacially if there be but the opperatiue spice added to it called the action of the cace But what is this dish my lord Card'i Card ' may it please your holynes this dish containes a certaine numâ—er of bace muck-wormes stiled Docters of our sivill law Chancelors and Officials this dish is also seasoned with the uniust spice of extortion oppression fraud and deceit and granished about with a most dambnable crue of Procters Notaries Registers Deligates Advocates Sumners and petty apparaters these haue for many yeares proued noteable instruments of strife and vexsation vnto the inhabitants of England and through their deceaueabl wayes haue mightily oppressed the people being not much inferior vnto the preceadent Golden charger But to this dish may it please your holynes there hath happened this yeare a very great mischance in the kooking for when wee thought it should haue bin most Laudably boyled vp to its greatest hight of Catholik operatioÌ„ there happened a Spider to fall into it through a sudden blast of Reformation which hath made it somwhat dangerous now for your holines to taste of For the Lamb that was moste richly seasoned in it is now through this sudden and unexpected misfortune Putrified and the Duck being a watry foule is quite disolved and this dish by his Ma'tys speciall order is to be left now to your holines disposall Pope J am much bound to his Ma'ty for his gracious favour to me herein J shall be very carefull through deliberation mature consideration to study for the most fittest disposall thereof during the time of my vicegerency here then return it againe to his Ma'ties disposall But I pray you my lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels containe Car'd May it please your holines this covered messe is a gallimofre or as the Fleamine cals it a Hutchepot wherein are sundry meates stued together it containes a certaine number of beasts called corrupt masters of the chancery half a dozen corrupt clarkes of the chancery also 150. Of their puni clarkes comonly termed Aturnies in chancery it also containes 6 new Aturnies of the Court of reqvests some 60 of their puny Clarkes this Hutchepot is seasoned with the spice of bribery fallswittneses stieled Knights of the poste a spice greatly in request in those Courts especialy in the examiners offices and the late Couentry affidavit office but his Ma'tys special commaÌ„d is to haue this couered mess preserued in its present condition least contention should sease amongst the inhabitants of England vnity peace take place which cannot but tend much to his Ma'tys dettryment loss of dominion in that Kingdom and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed vp to be convayed from Couentry to Manchester by the Gâ—ulden Finche Pope Good my Lord Cardjnal J beseech you let his Ma'tys will pleasure herein be very carefully accomplished for it concerns much his Ma'ties honour and our safety But what is in this dish my Lord Card ' this may it please your holines is likewise a Hutchpot contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries Registers Clarks of the Starrechamber chancery court of requests Kings-bench common please and the excheckquer this galimofre is seasoned with subbornation of falce-witneses falcyfiing of orders and decrees it is garnished with the subtile practises of the renter warden of the fleete and his imphes as also with Killvert killfart killbennet kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine the opperation of this dish chiefely consists in the confusion of mens estates to extract Gold out of all mens purses to suppress vertue and peace and to advance eniquity and contention to wrong oppress every man and to do right to no man And this mess is also to be reserved for his Ma'tys Table Pope Good my Lord Cardinall J pray you let me taste of this mess the opperation whereof by your relation appeares to be admirable J wish from my heart that J might also grow capeabel of that vertue of extracting Gould out of the English nation as som of my predisessors haue done before me J confesse the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition most Laud ably but alas and we ' is mee it was marred by a robustious storm of wind out of the North