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A51105
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A modest vindication of the Earl of S---------y in a letter to a friend concerning his being elected King of Poland.
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1681
(1681)
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Wing M2375; ESTC R16384
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4,926
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4
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A modest Vindication of the Earl of S y In a Letter to a Friend concerning his being Elected King of Poland AT a time when the eyes of all Europe are directed towards the event of our present Affairs At such a time as this when the Ballance of our publick safety seems so equally pois'd that it is hard to guess in which Scale lies our Happiness or Ruin I think it my duty as an honest man a true Subject to the Government I live under and a Friend to Truth to give you since you so earnestly have requested it my just and impartial Sentiments of our present condition as it particularly relates to the Lord of S y now under Confinement in the Tower This Great Man I cannot but call him so this immediate first mover as some would have it of all the dreadful Revolutions that perhaps of late years have seem'd to threaten us will nevertheless appear to you by the following Relation which I am to give you of him a Man as very Extraordinary in his Abilities so no less wonderful for his Vertue Not to mention his unshaken Obedience to every Government he has been concerned in or lived under his steady adherence to every Religion that had but hopes to be established his unwearied endeavours for the Restauration of the publick Peace in the time of our late unhappy Troubles his admirable Counsils all along for the Improvement of the common Good of the Kingdom the Honour and Safety of the Monarchy the Success of our Arms and the Overthrow of our Enemies His Obedience to the Government is sufficiently evident insomuch that That never chang'd but He did His endeavours for publick Peace are eminently notorious For in the late Civil War in spight of all Obligations of Honour and Loyalty to the contrary he forsook the King and carry'd over his Regiment to the Parliament on purpose as much as in him lay to weaken the Royal Cause and by the ruin of that to bring that War to an end that no more Rebell Blood might be shed though the great Martyrs Veins were drein'd afterwards without Mercy So much he then acted for publick Peace but what he has advised for publick Good would fill a Volumn up who can enough commemorate the shutting up of the Exchequer to put the King out of Debt The breaking of the Triple League to prevent the growth of France the dividing of the Fleet that we might be sure to beat the Dutch though in the end it cost us a Victory yet certainly his meaning and foresight in it was to preserve the Shipping and the tender Lives of the Subject Then for the Honour and Safety of the Monarchy none so sincere so steady and so faithful as he has been for the Honour of the King witness his late Speech in Parliament afterwards printed and burnt by the Common-Hangman for the safety of the King witness the cause of his present Imprisonment But for the publick safety what Honours he has despised what promotions neglected will appear in the following relation which certainly the World will never question the truth of since the main of it has been taken from his own mouth that perfect Index of his Heart and Oracle of Truth In a late Paper printed for the Vindication of this matchless Patriot the Reader will find many and extraordinary Instances of Preferments and Honours which this Noble Peer has wav'd and refus'd rather than suffer himself to be brib'd from the Interest of the common Good But what he has meerly lost in tender pity and compassion this poor Kingdom of England and it 's true Protestant Religion ought to be remembred as long as there is a Scepter sway'd in Poland or the Turk unconverted I suppose there are very few in this Kingdom that do not very sensibly â—â—member the late Inter-regnum in Poland How many Illustrious Candidates stood fair for the Election Sobietski indeed had done great things for that People he had kept their Potent Enemy the Turk from entring any farther upon their Frontiers was great and popular in the esteem and love of the best Army that perhaps they ever had but that was by much too little to Entitle him to the Succession on the Throne it appearing absolutely the Interest of that Nation that the Great Turk was not only to be beaten he must in short too be converted and who so fit for such an Enterprize as he that next should be promoted to the Regal Authority One that from the high place he was to possess might not only Administer Justice to them but Salvation to the greatest part of Asia To find out such a Spirit one fit for so great and extraordinary an undertaking you may imagine the wise Diet omitted no diligence the Constitutions of all the Governments in Europe were lookt into as they stood Qualifi'd both in Church and State and whence was it so proper to expect a Law-giver such an Oracle as they then wanted but from the best modell'd Government and best Disciplin'd Church in the World Therefore upon strict enquiry France appearing too Despotick Spain too uncertain and irregular Holland absolutely Antimonarchical and few or no Cheese-mongers in it fit to make a Monarch of Germany too near 'em and that if once they ventur'd upon a King from thence The Emperour upon every like occasion might be imposing one thread-bare Prince or other upon them to ease his own People For you must note that in Germany Princes are Quartered upon Provinces as Regiments were in England upon Corporations in the time of Rebellion and are indeed the great Grievance of the Countrey Upon these Considerations you may imagine Quickly the eyes of the whole Diet were cast upon little England and there upon whom so soon as the little Lord of S y Polish Deputies were immediately sent Post incognito with the Imperial Crown and Scepter in a Cloak-bag to him Old Blood smelt it from Bishops-gate-street where they allighted to his Lodging and had it not been for an old Acquaintance and ancient Friendship between King Anthony the Elect for now I must call him so and himself I am credibly informed he had laid an Ambush for it at the Cock Alehouse by Temple-Bar where some thirty indigent Bullies were eating stuft Beef Helter Skelter at his charge on purpose to stand by and assist him in carrying off the Booty But Heaven which I hope has ordained that no Crown shall ever suffer damage for King Anthony's sake took care to preserve this For the sinister Designs of the old Irish Crown-monger being yet to be doubted this prudent Prince as I am told having try'd and fitted it to his Head carefully sent it back again by a trusty Messenger concealed in the hulk or shell of a Holland Cheese taken asunder meerly for that purpose and cemented together again by an Art fit for no man to know but a King Presumptive of Poland All things thus prepared his Election being carryed in the
Dyet so unanimously and so nemine contradicente that no man to this hour ever heard of it but himself It is not to be imagined how this little Grigg was transported with the thoughts of growing into a Leviathan he fancy'd himself the Picture before Pobb's Commonwealth already nay he stopt up his Tap as I am told on purpose that his Dropsy might swell him bigg enough for His Majesty and of a sudden grew so utter an Enemy to all Republicks and Antimonarchical Constitutions that from that hour he premeditated and laid the foundation of a worse Speech than that Famous one which he utter'd once in our English Senate Entituled Delenda est Carthago But now upon deliberate and weighty consideration of the great Charge he was to undertake many difficulties and of an extraordinary nature seemed to arise A Protestant King being Elected to a Popish Kingdom great were the Debates within himself which way he was to steer his Course in the Administration of his Government so as to discharge his Conscience as well in respect of the Case incumbent upon him of the Souls of his People as of the protection of their Properties and Persons The Great Turk you have heard before was to be converted Now to bring so Mighty a Potentate over to the Church of Rome seem'd utterly destructive of the Protestant Interest which he has always been so violent a Champion for Therefore it is resolved Protestant and True Protestant the Ottomon Emperour must be or nothing But how when that was done to establish the same Church in his own Dominions there was the great Question Whereupon after due Consideration he resolved at his taking Possession of that Throne which stood gaping for him to carry over from hence such Ministers both of Church and State as might be proper to advise assist and support him in a Design so pious though so difficult Immediately therefore he proceeds to the drawing a Scheme of the whole Ministry of his Government and in a large Scrowl whereon was indorsed in Text Letters this Magnificent Title Arcana Imperii Poloniensis sub Regno Augustissimi Principis Anthonileski Ashleiski primi Dei Gratia istius Populi Regis c. was contained a List of all the great Officers of the Crown and of his Houshold which according to the best light I could get into the matter was as follows Seignioro Roberto Howardensko Our Chancellour Eskriekski Our Treasurer Slabberigund Kentelaus Tarsallan Huntingtonierkew Jalouxion Grayoski Whiggund Arronowitz Privy-Councellors and Lords of our Bed-Chamber Loyallin Mordantaiko Admiral of Our Fleet at present under an Embargo Braggardo Maclesseildowski and his two Sons Generals of Our Army Thomazo Armstrongeyland Captain of a Troop of tolerated Bandetti to raise Arbitrary Contributions Seigniori Newportoski Comptroller of Our Houshold and Master of Our Ceremonies to shew his Civility on one hand and his Justice on the other Fidelio Porterewski First Groom of our Bed-Chamber though we suspect him for little better than a Spy to the Pope Richaiski Coolaiski and his Friend Willisko Herbertensko Secretaries of State Tom Merrayo Clerk of the Council Suffolkin Feltonaâ—ko Grissinceper surnamed the Clown Masters of the Horse and Dog-whippers by turns Boobyan Bridgesmund Slowchero Poslenoâ—itz Conceal'd Politicians and Counsellours under the Character and Livery of Our Chair-men Don Stephano Volponiester Another under the disguise of a Footman but designed Paymaster of Our Army Prince Prettyman Perkinoski Our Adopted Heir because a little wiser than Our own Son and designed to be offered to the Dyet for Our Successor His present Imployment together with the assistance of the Princess his Sister is to cure the Plica or King's Evil of this Country in case Our own Majesty should fail of that Vertue Slingibeski Betheliski Chief Headsman of Warsaw Francisco Turnspitanski Esquire of Our Body in case he will promise not to sell his place The Valiant Russillaus Captain of Our Guards and Knight of the Halter a new Order to be instituted at Our Coronation Cappellanoff le Grandi Intended Vice-Roy of the first Kingdom our General shall Conquer Madona la bella Croftesia Poultneyinda la Pruda Lady Abbesses for two Protestant Nunneries to be established for the use of Us and Our Ministers Everardo Fitz-henerisko To write Libels against Us by Our own Consent to bring Us into favour with Our People Jean Drydenurtzitz Our Poet Laureat for writing Panegyricks upon Oliver Cromwel and Libels against his present Master King Charles II. of England Tom. Shadworiski His Deputy Sodomito Fanshawiski Designed Our Ambassador to the Grand Seigneur with a Present of Protestant handsom Boys in order to his Conversion This was the best account I could possibly get of the matter There were indeed a great many more nominated to Offices and Preferments but not being able to gain a perfect Catalogue of them I have contented my my self with barely a recital of such things as upon my own knowledge I dare recommend to the world for Truth and that to the best of my remembrance I have exactly observed in the foregoing Relation But in the very height of all this expectation one night as his Majesty Elect lay musing in his Bed restless with the thoughts and expectation of the approaching Empire there appeared to him by the light of a Lamp that was burning in his Chamber a dreadful and most monstrous Vision the Shape and Figure of it was very Confused and Irregular sometimes it look'd like the Whore of Babylon naked and of immense nudities Presently in the twinkling of an eye the Form was changed and it appeared like a Justice of Peace strangled by a Crew of Ruffians who afterwards ran him thorow the Body with his own Sword that it might be thought he hanged himself Of a sudden it was alter'd again and seemed a Troop of Pilgrims armed with Black-Bills that came from the Lord knows whence landed the Lord knows where and are gone the Lord knows whither His Majesty seeing it vary so often and so terribly calling up all the Faith he had to his assistance boldly demanded In the Name of c. what art Thou Instantly after a terrible Clap of Thunder attended with several Flashes of Lightening it contracted it self into the shape of a Doctor of Salamancha and in an hideous tone cried I am a PIOT Woe to England Farwel till 78. and vanished No sooner was it gone but a stupid amazement seized upon the Majesty of Poland and cast him into a deep sleep where he lay till morning when awakening he found himself stript of all the high and aspiring thoughts that before had filled his mind Pity and Compassion towards his Native-Countrey cooled utterly his Ambition and from that moment he laid by all thoughts of Converting the Turk and resolved to stay at home for the Confounding the Pope Thus has this good Man for now he is no more his Majesty again refused the greatest Promotion that perhaps any Subject of England was ever raised to meerly to stand in a Gap here and stay the Plague that was coming upon us Sir what Justification of him may be gathered from the Truth of this and his present condition I leave to your better Judgment and subscribe my self Your humble Servant c. London Printed for 〈◊〉 Smith Bookseller in Chief to His Majesty Elect of Poland 1681.