declare what he was willed him to holde his peace with a mischiefe let the Prouost alone said he for to teach him to hang folkes When the Prouost hard him named he caused him to come downe and to be loosed to whom the bastard said moreouer Wel you would haue hanged me it should haue béen the dearest hanging M. Prouost that euer thou hanged in thy life But why diddest not thou let him alone speaking to the man that did saue him verie angerlie Iudg now I pray you what wil this man had that would haue suffered him selfe to bee hanged and would haue beene reuenged afterward but who would once thinke that he was a Noble mans sonne and also a Gentleman The poore man was not of his mind that the French Kinge would haue sent to the Kinge of England who then had war against Fraunce for manie iniuries wrongs that Fraunce had offered the which Gentleman said vnto the French Kinge Sir and it like your grace I am yours body life and gooddes the which I will indeuour with all my power to bestow in your Graces seruice like an obedient Subiecte but if you send me into England in these troubles I shall neuer returne again which is for a matter of no such great waight but that it may be deferred vntill the Kinge of England haue pacified his anger for now that he is thus bent against you and your kingdome he will not sticke to cut off my head By the faith of a Gentleman said the French king if he do so I wilbe reuenged or it shall cost me fortie thousand mens liues Yea mary Sir saide the Gentleman but of all those heades there will not be one that will serue my turne it is a small comfort to a man that his death shalbe reuenged Indéed a man for the respect of his honour and for the common wealth will bee the more willing to offer his heade to be stricken off for that it is a vertuous act and a honourable execution ¶ Of a Taylor that would steale from himselfe and of the graye cloth that he restored againe to his Gossip the Hosyer A Taylor of the Towne of Poytiers named Lyon was a good workman of his occupation and could as wel make a garment for a woman as for a maÌ„ but sometimes he would cut out thrée quarters behinde in stéed of two or thrée sléeues in a cloke and sow on but twoo and he had so practised this legerdemaine that hee could not refraine it in nothing that he did cut out If he had cut out a garment for himself he would haue thoght his cloth had deceiued him if he cut not somthing beside the garment to cast into the chest As in like manner an other who was so great a théefe that when he found nothing to steale he wold rise from his bed and steale money out of his owne purse I will not saye that Taylors bee Théeues for they take no more then onely that which is brought them no more then the Ioyners as the Mayd said to her Mistrisse that hyred her wot ye what Dame I will serue you well but looke you what meanest thou by that said the woman My féete are swift to séeke a new seruice if I like not and this all the faulte I haue for in all other things you shal find me as diligent as is possible Also our Taylor could verie wel his occupation but that he had his fault It chaunced so that he made a cloke of Roan russet for a Gossip of his that was a Hosier who had occasion to ride abroad whereof he had stollen a good quarter The Hosier perceiued it well enough but saide nothing knowing by his owne occupation that euerie man must séeke to liue by theirs One day in y e morning the Hosier passing by the Taylors doore with his cloake on the Taylor asked him how he did and willed him to take a Hering with him to breakfast for it was in Lent He was content so they wente vp together to roste this Hering the Taylor called to his apprentice that was in the shop saying bring me the gridyron that is below the boy thought that he had called for the gray russet cloth y â— was lefte of the cloake and that he would haue restored it againe to his Gossip the Hosier he tooke the cloth and carried it vp to his Maister When the Hosier sawe this great péece of cloth why sayd he is this of my cloth and will no lesse serue thy turne then this Now surely I sée there is small honestie in thée The Taylor perceiuing that he was bewraied saide vnto him why doest thou thinks that I would haue kepte it from thée that art my Gossip Dost thou noâ— sée that I haue called for it to giue it thée againe I spare thy cloth and thou saiest I steale it from thée The Hosier was well pleased with this answered so he brake his fast and tooke hence his remnant of cloth But the Taylor gaue his prentise a lesson to make him wiser an other time ¶ Of Chykouan the Taborer that caused his Father in Law to appeare before the Iudge because he did not dye and the sentence that the Iudge gaue IT is not verie longe since that in the Towne of Amboyse there was taborer that euerie man called Chykouan a man merrie and full of pleasaunt wordes for the which he was welcome in euerie place He tooke to Wife an old mans Daughter in the Town of Amboyse a man that meaned good faith and had passed his time hauing no childe but one onely Daughter And because that Chykouan had no other means to sine but his Tabor hee requested of this good man some money with the marriage of his Daughter that he mighte buy some Implementes towards houshold But this old man would giue him none saying for his excuse to Chykouan My sonne aske me no money for I can geue you none at this time but you sée well that I am at the end of my daies ready to go to the graue I haue no heire but my Daughter you shall haue my house and all my moouables when I am gone for I cannot liue aboue a yeare or two at the most The good man told him so many reasons that he was content to take his Daughter without money but he said vnto him you shall vnderstand that I doe vpon your worde that which I would not doe to another but will you fulfill that truly which you haue promised What els said the old man I neuer yet deceiued any man in all my life and therefore God defend that I should begin now Wel then said Chykouan I wil haue no other contract but your promisse The day of mariage was come Chykouan goeth from his house to fetche his Wife at her Fathers and he himselfe brought her to the Church with his Tabor and pipe when he had brought her to Church yet all is not done said said he Chykouâ—n hath fetcht his
that knew nothing thereof promised to sée a remedy therein with as much spéed as was possible but when he was alone by him selfe he thought it was a thinge out of his power to remedie but that the shame would continue remaine still and he thought his wife should of her selfe in respect of him and of her honour call backe her follie and beware otherwise all the strong walles boltes and lockes would not holde her in nor staye her disordinate affection Furthermore he reasoned with himselfe that he béeing a man sober and wise ought not to set his care towardes the bridling of a vayne and euil giuen womaÌ„ the which thing kept him from searching out the trueth of the matter too rashly Notwithstanding for that hee woulde not séeme as one not carefull of his domesticall affaires the which was esteemed of all men must dishonest and wicked he bethought him on a remedie which he thought aboue all others was most expedient and necessary The remedie was this hee determined to buy a house which ioyned to his backeside and of two he purposed to make one saying that hee would haue a going in and out at his backside as well as at the streete side Which deuise was spâ—edilie finished a doore was made in the secretest place that might be vnto which he caused to be made half a dossen of keies he forgat not to make a gallerie verie proper for the goers commers These thinge béeing thus prepared he appointed a day to haue all his Wiues principal and chiefe parents and kindred to dinner and not one of his owne kindred at that time he gaue them good entertainment and made them great cheare After Dinner was done before anie of them did rise from the Table he began to speake vnto them these wordes following in the presence of his Wife My maysters and Gentlewomen all that are here presente you know how long it is since I married your kinswoman that sitteth here by me I haue had nowe time leysure to coÌ„sider y t it was not to me she ought to haue béen married because y e match betwene her me was not equall but when a thinge is done that may not bee vndone we must be content to tarrie the end Then turning himself towards his wife he said vnto her wife I haue not long since suffered rebukes through your naughty and euyll gouernment the which hath greeued me at the heart It hath bene shewed me that there commeth hither young-men at all houres of the day to kéepe you companie truly it is a thing greatly to your dishonour mine which if I had perceiued before now I would haue prouided a remedy for but yet it is better late theÌ„ neuer I pray you speake vnto those that frequent your company that here after they may come to you in more secret maner which they may the better do because of a doore on the backside which I caused to be made for them of which doore here are halfe a dossen keies for you to giue to ech of your louers one and if there be not keyes enough I will cause more to bee made for the Smith is at our commaundement and bid them so to part the time of their méeting as may be most profitable bothe for them and you for if you will not abstaine from sinne and euill doing at the least do it so secretly that the worlde haue no occasion to speake of the same to your shame and mine When the younge Wife had heard the talke that her Husband had made vnto her in the presence of her parentes fréends she began to be ashamed of her doinges and remembred with her selfe the wrong and iniurie that she had done to her Husband to the dishonour of him her selfe and her kindred so that that then she had suche remorse of conscience that from that time forward shee shut the gate against all her Louers and forsooke all her disordinate affections and vnlawfull pleasures and afterward liued with her husband like an honest and vertuous Wife in all honour and contentation of them both When the King had heard this story he was desirous to know who was the partie saying now by the faith of a GentlemaÌ„ he is one of the pacientst men in my kingdome he wold sure doo some vertuous act séeing he is indued with such patience And at the very same time the King made him his generall Attorney in Pickardy As for me if I knew the name of this honest man I would giue him immortall praise but time hath done great wronge to hide his name that deserued well to be placed in the Chronicles yea to haue bene canonized For he was a verie Martyr in this worlde and I beléeue he is happie in the worlde to come ¶ Of a Norman that went to Rome who prouided Lattin to carrie to the Pope and howe he helped himselfe therewith THere was vppon a tyme a Norman who perceyuing that Priests liued the best and easiest life in the worlde after his wife was deade had a desire to become one of the Church but he could write reade verie little Neuerthelesse hauing heard say that money made all and estéeming him selfe to be as like a man as many of the priests of his parish he came to one of his familiar frendes and brake his minde vnto him asking his counsell howe to vse and gouerne him selfe in this matter Who after much talke had betwene them did comfort him and said that if he would haue his matters well brought to passe it were best for him to goe to Rome for he shoulde haue some what to doe to bee made Priest at the Byshops hand that was his ordinary who was verie circumspect in admitting Priests and giuing them their Significauit But the Pope that was troubled with many other thinges would make no regarde of his ignorance but would admit him with all spéed More ouer in so dooing he should sée the Countrey and at his returne beeing known to be priested at y e Popes hands there were none but woulde doe him honour and woorship and that in a shorte time he should get a great Benefice and become a very rich man The Norman found this talke good and agreable to his mind but he had this blot of conscience that he could speake no Latin and declared it vnto his counseller saying Yea mary but wheÌ„ that I shall come before the Pope what language shall I speake he doth not vnderstand the Norman spéech nor I can speake no Lattin how shall I do then As for that said his frend thou néedest not to stay for when thou art a Priest it is inough for thée to know a Masse of Requiem our Ladies Masse and a Masse of the holy Ghost the which thou maiest learn quickly after thy returne But for to speake vnto the Pope I wil teach the thrée Latin woordes so well placed that when thou hast saide them before him he shall thynke thée
which the wisest men neuer knewe their doings is like smoke in the Sun so y t their Southsaying may rather be termed false saying and we cānot compare it better then to a good wife y t somtime caried a pale of milke to the market thinking to sell it as pleased her making her reckoning thus First she would sell her milk for ij d with this ij d buy xij egs which she wold set to brood vnder a hen she would haue 12. Chickons these chykons being growne vp she would kerue them and by that meanes they should be capons these capons would be worth being yong fiue pence a piece that is iust a crowne with the which she would buye two pigs a Sow a Boare and they growing great would bring forth twelue others the which she would sell after she had kéept them a while for fiue grotes a piece that is iust twentie shillings Thē she would buie a Mare that would bring foorth a faire Foale the which would grow vp be so gentill and faire y t he would playe skip leape and fling and crie we he he he after euery beast that should passe by and for the ioye she conceyued of her suppossed coult in her iollitie counterfeiting to show his lustynesse her pale of milcke fell downe of her head and was all spilt there laie her egs her chikons her capons her pigs her mare her coulte and al vppon the ground Euen so these Southsaiers after y t they haue furnished burnished blotted and spotted loutted and floutted putrefied and corrupted promised and not performed their best boxe being broken they maie goe counte with this good Wife ¶ Of King Salomon that made the Philosophicall stone the cause why these Southsayers cannot preuaile in their doinges THE cause why South-sayers Witches Wissardes cannot bring all there matters to passe as they would all the world doth not know but Marie the Prophetisse showeth the cause why in a Booke that she hath made of the greate excellencie and knowledge of the art exhorting the Philosophers and giuing them courage not to dispaire and she saith that the Philosophers stone is so worthie and so precious that amongst other her wonderfull vertues and excellences she hath power to commaūd Sprites and whosoeuer hath it he may binde loose warrant torment martyr helpe out of prison goe through boltes and lockes to be shorte he may iuggle playe with both handes and doe what he list if he know how to vse his fortune It is so saith she that Salomon had the perfection of this stone and knew by diuine inspiration the great and woonderful propertie of the same which was to constraine the Deuils as we haue saide And therefore so soone as he had made it he concluded to make all the spirites come and appeare before him but first he caused to bee made a Caldron of Brasse of a woonderfull and huge greatnes for it was nothing lesse then all the whole circuite of the Forrest of Sherborn but that it wanted halfe a foote or there about it is all a matter we wil not striue for a litle mary ye must note that it must be somewhat rounder and it was néedful to be so great for to serue that turne that he minded And after the same maner he caused to be made a couer so closse and iuste as was possible And also in like manner he caused a hole to be made and cast in the ground large and déepe inough for to burie his Caldron When hee had prepared all these thinges hee made to come before him by vertue of the stone all the Spirites that were dispersed in this world litle and great beginning with the Emperoures of the foure corners of the earth then he made the Kinges to come Dukes Earls Barrons Lordes Knights Esquires Captaines heads of Bandes pettie Captaines Soldiours a foote and on horseback to great numbers When they were all come Salomon commaunded them by the vertue aforesaid y t they should all goe into that said pan that was buried in the ground The Spirites could not gainesay but were faine to goe in but ye may wel thinke that it was with great griefe So soone as they were all in Salomon caused the couer to be set on and glued fast with the glue of Sapience and therein leauing the Deuills caused it also to bee couered with earth vntill the hole was filled vp with whom his minde and purpose was that the world should be no more infected that men might afterward liue in peace and tranquillitie and that all vertue and godlinesse might raigne vppon the earth And it came to passe presently after that that men began to bee merrie and glad content liuelie gallant frollirke gentle amiable and pleasant O how all thinges went forward The earth brought foorth all manner of fruite without mans labour the Wolues did not deuoure the Cattell the Lyons Tigers and wilde Boares were as tame as other Beastes to bee shorte all the earth séemed a Paradise whilest these Runnigate Deuills were inclosed in this déepe Dongeon But what happened after a long time as Kingdomes chaunce to chaunge the Townes Citties decay and new are builded so there was a Kinge who had a great desire to builde a Cittie and Fortune wold that it came into his head to raise it in the proper place whereas these Deuils were inclosed This Kynge set people on woorke for to make this Cittie the whiche he would haue mightie strong and inuincible and therfore it required a terrible and déepe foundations to make the walles herevpon the Pyonners digged so lowe that one amongst the reste discouered the Caldron wherein these spirites were who after y t he had stricken vpon it and that his companions did perceiue it thought they should haue bene made riche for euer y t there was hidden some inestimable Riches But it was not in their power to breake it open of a sodaine for besides y e greatnes it was out of measure thicke and therefore it was necessary that the King should know therof Who when he had séene it thought euen as the Pyoners did for who would euer haue thought that deuils were therin when it was thought that there was none in the world for in long time before there was no talk of them This King did well remember that the Kings his predecessors had infinite riches so as he could not iudge but that they had buried and hid therein some greate treasure and that it was appointed him of destenie to finde it out and to enioy that wealth that he might be the richest King in the worlde To conclude he set as many men of woorke as there was about the Caldrō at the first and whilest they were battering and beating vppon it to get it open the Deuils were at their watch listening and geuing care what it should be so y t they could not tell what to thinke whether they should be had out to hanging or that their
that he was not well at ease and so withdrew him into his Chamber and was serued by his owne men so well that the night passed without any daunger but hee commaunded ouer night the Maister of his house that al his traine might be readie in the morning twoo houres before Sun rising the which was done and he himselfe was first vp for he had no desire to sléepe he had so great care to passe without a mocke He wente to horse so soone as the day began to appeare no body béeing vp nor stirring in the Towne and rode till he came at the Towne end thinking then he had béen out of all daunger wherof he began to be glad and reioice but harken what happened There was an olde wâ—â—ther beaten Witch that stoode vp against the ende of a wall which gaue him his pasport saying to him in her owne language Rose you so soone for feare of flyes Neuer was men so ashamed as he to be so vnluckilâ— flowted and specially of such an old hag And if it had beene a Kinge as some saye it was I thinke he would haue made gunpouder of the old witch But the most part beléeue it was no King although they of the Towne of Arrow make their vaunt that it was Well whosoeuer it was he had his parte as well as others But as the Prouerbe sayeth Que mockat mockabitur Euen so those of Arrow had sometimes the like as they profered which appeared by M. Peter Faâ—sew And there was giuen them an other pretie mocke by one named Pyquet which had bought a Lampron at Duxtall and put it in a Linen wallet that he caried behind him which Lampron he tied verie fast by one of the holes in her head with a point and made her fast within the wallet so that she could not get out by any meanes and hauing a litle hole in the end of his wallet hee put out her tayle that she might be séene When he came néere to y e Towne of Arrow this Lampron that was very quick writhed always her taile more and more so that in passing through the Towne the Scorners spyed her how in writhing of her selfe shee appeared by little and little more and more out of the wallet and they were at hand watching when she would fal out of the wallet But Piquet he rode easily through the Towne as one that had no great hast on his way because he should gather together more company that came out of their houses and folowed him to catche the Lampron when it fell of the which there was foure or fiue that watched as decently for it as a Cat doeth for a Mouse thinking they shoulde haue it to dinner All this while Pyquet made as though hee had not séene them but that at sometimes he would looke first of the one side and nexte of the other as if his Horse had not béene well gyrded which he did to sée his lackeyes that followed him When hee was out of the Towne he began to ride faster and these Scorners after thinking y t it would not continue long but it would fal for the Lampron appeared almost all but of y e wallet they run half a mile after this Lampron but there was twoo of them wearie with trotting that gaue ouer the other twoo held out sides still béeing glad that all the rest were gone saying one to another hold thy peace we shall haue the better parte When Pyquet perceiued hee had but two lackeyes following him hee began to ryde faster and faster and the Scorners followed after more then a long mile from the Towne thinking at length to haue the Lampron for their labour but Pyquet rode on still a good pace and the Lampron would not fall which prouoked them to great anger whereat Pyquet had good sporte and began to laugh out so loude that at the laste they perceiued and saw wel ynough that they were mocked Neuerthelesse one of their to make the matter good said a far off to Pyquet how Sirha you on Horsebacke take vp your Lampron that is ready to fall Pyquet staid his horse and turned about saying vnto him Come and fetche it if it fall for you are woorthie to haue it vp else run a little further and it will fall by an by But they went their waies with their combes cut and bid the deuill and a vengeaunce take the Lampron But when they were come back againe into the Towne God knoweth how they were flouted and mocked for they knew well the craft asking them what sauce they would haue to their Lampron And thus the mockinges scornings doth oftentimes return vpon the mockers and scorners themselues ¶ Of a Prouost named Cocklyer that had a payn in his eyes whom the Phisitions made to beleeue that he did see IN the Countrey of Mayne there was not long ago a Lieutenaunt of the Prouost Martiall who was named Cocklier a man that could giue a sentence and that knew the pollicies of the Lieutenant Maylard who vppon a day hauing vnder his handes a man that had committed and done many fellonies notwithstanding he did alleadge for his life that he was a graduate but he let him coole in prison yet afterwardes he sent for him and began to vse him verie gently saying Truely it were reason that you should be sente to your Bishop calling him by his name I will not depriue you of your priuiledge but put you in remembraunce when you doe not thinke thereon yet I counsell you that hereafter you withdrawe your selfe from places of dishonour béeing a man sufficient to serue the Kinge by which meanes you should bee knowen and so come to take a charge and to be estéemed And not to lie lurking in Townes watching of high waies to put your selfe in daunger of life to your continual fame infamie By and by the man that felt himselfe praised saide Sir I am not nowe to learne what it is to serue the King I was before the Towne of Pauia when it was taken vnder the charge of Captaine Lorge and since I was with my Lord Lautrick at Myllayne and in the kingdome of Naples But for al that the Prouost red his sentence and made him stretch a Rope although he was a graduate and by the meanes taught him howe to serue the Kinge Thus Cocklyer could doe these thinges and such like and could sée cleare with the eies of his wit but with the eies in his head he could not sée the length of thrée fingers he néeded not to haue béen asked whether hee had rather haue his nose as longe as his sight or his sight as longe as his nose for there was not much betwéene them both It chaunced vpon a time the Byshop of Mans going of visitation through his Diocesse would see how he did in going by because he knew him to be a good Iustice whome he found in his Bed being sicke of a Rume that was fallen into his poore eyes