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A01565 Rodomontados. Or, Brauadoes and bragardismes. Collected out of the commentaries of the most dreadfull, terrible, and inuincible capitaine; Mattamores, Crocodillo, Raiabroquelos; Rodomuntadas castellanas. English Gaultier, Jacques. 1610 (1610) STC 11691A; ESTC S122512 13,062 38

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a while after the Captayne went and fell vpon his knees before Iupiter entreating him to pardon mee my Sinnes in recompence of the good deede that I had done that with a spurne of my foote I had placed him among the Starres whereas contrary-wise I might haue cast him downe into Hell among the Wicked and Damned Soules XVII WIth one hayre of this Moustachio which I carelessely cast away I will make such a wide ouverture or breach through thy Bodye as all the Spanish Infanterie and the French Caualaery shall passe along easilie through without any touch eyther of the one side or other XVIII WHat matter were it if Asia Europe Affrica the Pyrenian Mountaines and the Alpes were all whelmed one vpon another seauen Draggons eight Elephants tenne Tygers two and twentie Lyons and sixtie fiue Bulles in fierce opposition All these for mee to couquer and make peace-able were a matter of nothing XIX MIstresse of my heart command me some seruice becomming my vocation for I swear by the greatest Tooth of Cerberus to giue desiance for your sake to ten men together and though there should come twice as manie more yet I stand resolued not to flye but to resist them all Commaund me to kill one two three foure fifty or sixty persons to hewe off legges armes noses or the faces of any whosoeuer as dare presume to equall themselues with you For such offices are easier to be by me performed then at any time by you they can be commanded XX. WIth this most re-doubted and terrifying Sword I ruinate I destroy and set all thinges on fire Ouer-throwing whole Armies breaking downe citties racing castels leuelling Trenches battering walles and shaking in shiuers inexpugnable Fortresses For at my verye sight or presence I make Iupiter to run and hide his heade Mercury flyes like a Schoole-Boy Cupid quakes and trembles and Mars he stands in amaze as if hee were transformed rendering ouer his tribute from Venus to me because she affects me as her much more amorous Seruant XXI IN what place soeuer I am Death is alwayes with me because he gets more profit by me thē if he were in the middest of the most furious and bloudiest battailes in the whole world Hee hath bin my continuall companion and follower in conquest of the kingdoms of the Grimeans Diceans Dinameans Alopitians Pitunians and Espinomeans For to speak nothing but the naked truth without him I had walked alone night day because I can find no other more familiar resemblance to my selfe or one that can be so pleasing to me XXII I Finde in my selfe the Nature of the Basiliske and indeede something of greater power For if he with his sight can kill one after one when I looke vppon men in my spleene and choller I make them to fall downe by ten and ten euen as if mine eyes were the Balles of your greatest Artillerie XXIII I Am too olde to enduce any Trauaile and yet but young to all valiant and aduenturous sufferance For from the time that I was in my Cradle Venus made it her daily custome in stead of Milke to feede me with fire and for fruite and sweet meats I swallowed leaden Bullets and Balles of Brasse XXIIII LIke as the Worlde is deuided into foure parts whereof three are Asia Affrica and Europe and these three are circkled or round engirt with the Sea Euen so is my heart deuided into three other parts which doe containe three seuerall Natures to wit affable terrible and cruell Now these three partes are rounde enuironed yet not with Water but vvith liuing flames of hot cousuming fire And as this fyre in Loues behalfe is so sweete as much better for mee were it if it were sower or bitter because I cannot captiuate the poyson which is in my heart enen so in the same manner is my heart it selfe And yet with three stroakes of this bright brandished blade the one deliuered slycing the second reuersing and the thirde meerelie poynting I could kill and ouer-quell all man-kinde making Riuers of blood longer then Ganges larger then Poe and more terrible then Nylus But let the Worlde bee thankefull for it that at this instant I am become amorous or falne in Loue for in my former fierie and ouer-fierce humour I vsed to kill dayly at the least three or foure dozen of Men Women and Children But now in this more milde and temperate alteration I vse not to kill past a dozen in a day And what doe you thinke may bee the reason thereof Let me tell yee for an infallibletrueth it is nothing else but the meere loue or Cupidicall affection wherewith I haue chaunged my furious humor and prostrated it in demure Deuotion to the eternall seruice of my daintie and most Diuine Mistris XXV MY Shoo-makec one Morning pulling on my shooes I found one of them somewhat too strait in the insteppe I gaue him such a kicke with my foote against the ground that the earth immediately opened and he fell in as farre as Hell Belzebub Sathan Pluto and Barrabas Lordes and Princes of those Tenebrous obscurities were thereat driuen all into no meane amazement Great Cerberus cryed and howled most pittifully Proserpina rent and tore hir haire shrieking and weeping verie bitterly because she saw her dark kingdom receiue a glimpse of light The little Diabolotinos or lesser Spirits hidde themselues in corners heere and there Some leapt out of hell and fled fearefully thence since that time many of them haue houered aloft in the Ayre and others in nookes and crannies of the earth tormenting diuers people as in many places of the world it is daily noted XXVI WHat woman dare be so bold or audacious as not to confesse her selfe most highly inamored of this strong thigh this puissant arme this breast ful of al force and valour this visage more goodly then that of Ganimede or that of Dido or the lookes of Absolon Let me but see that blushlesse huswife and then bid her abide the fury of my indignation if she can or dare XXVII LAdie you may by good right forsake the Name of Madame Beatrix and entitle your selfhence forward Imperatrix or Empresse Queen Princesse Marquesse Countesse Dame and Damosil Seeing these two great Colombs or Pillers of Hercules which do support and sustain the whole world are soly obliged to your seruice I could tel ye that this Castillian body is filled with the abounding courage of infinite Armies that this brest and this arme is stronger then the Tower of Babylon Especially when it is assisted by this redoubted Sworde for the fires sparkeling from it do penetrate surmount in bright splendour the luminous beames of the Sun XXVIII IF mine infinite couragious valour could possibly be bought with the price of Gold or Siluer there needed no other trafficke either by Sea or Land nor shoulde you heare any more speech of Merchants or Merchandize or of any man that would labour or addict himselfe to followe such a