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A17458
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A handkercher for parents wet eyes vpon the death of children. A consolatory letter to a friend.
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I. C.
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1630
(1630)
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STC 4279; ESTC S120682
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16,348
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71
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esse prorsus folici licet No man but finds a Pound of Woe for a Dram of Content God will not glut vs with Felicities His manner is eftsoones to vitiate the comforts hee allowes his Children with some vn-expected Dash of sorrow lest they should imagine that true sincere Content might be found on Earth I haue heard you obserue a like course held with your selfe For speaking of some proiects of yours for a retired Country life how much you affected the sweetnesse and innocency thereof and what please you could giue your selfe in it God you said did by one meanes or other still crosse and defeate your purposes foreseeing how it might steale away your heart from heauen and him and make you desire to moare here and set vp your Rest in the things of this world This vse you made of that Crosse then doe the like by this now God hath taken your Darling from You lest he should haue taken your heart from Him CONSIDERATION 8. POnder oft that saying Sapit qui non tristatur propter absentia sed gaudet praesentibus He is wise that is not so much sorry for the absent as ioyous in the present Comforts You looke to what you haue lost but not to what you haue left As God hath Crosses moe then one So Hee hath Comforts Blessings moe than one And hee hath left you a great many of them euen Childrens Children When others haue nor Son nor Daughter in their inheritance Will you because one is remoued out of your sight waywardly depriue Your selfe of enioying the Remainder as not worth thankes now one of the tale is diminisht That were leke little ChildreÌ„ if you catch vp one of their Play-games they presently cast away all the rest in a fume If in a vast succourles Champian or Downe the furious Wind should snatch off your Hat and hurry it away beyond ouertaking so much as with you Eye would you straight in a Moode strip off your other Garments to your shirt and dare the Wind to do his worst with those Parcels also O take heed of such behauiour 'T is not stouting and stomacke and pettishnesse but meekenesse and patience and humility makes God propitious What shall you get by standing and knocking your Fists at Him that must be your onely Comfort in your Anguishes or you are like to haue none at all but scorne and dirision Set not God to Schoole appoint him not what to take what to leaue He knowes best which Branch of the Vine to prune off Be thankefull for them are reserued to you and enioy them as from a thrice friendly and gracious hand Set your loue on them as on another mans Loane which you must restore vpon demaund Thinke not that to be your owne that was but lent you nor that to bee too soone required againe which without iniury might haue beene altogether kept from you CONSIDERATION 9. O But he was so hopefull so towardly so well dispos'd such a Modell of Goodnesse c. I grant you all this But how know you he would haue held on so if he had liued longer How many godly Fathers haue had their hearts broke with the lewdnesse and ill proofe of their Children Tacit. Eu'n many Good Princes came short of Neroes first 5. yeeres What Traps doe we see set daily in the way of Vertue to trip it and make it fall Occasions to many sinnes are presented and taken hold of in tract of Time which once we neuer dreamt of committing or contracting the least acquaintance with them He is gone beginning to rellish vertue vntainted of vicious inclinations his soule had not yet dipped in the dish of voluptuousnesse wickednesse had not altred his heart What hath he lost by that By being Heauenly on Earth hee is now made Glorious in Heauen Sic fuit vtilius finiri ipsique tibique So was 't most profit to exspire Both to himselfe and you his Sire Besides you will say for passion hath no hoe in obiecting To you he was so vsefull so necessary your finger next the Thumbe growne fit to aduise with to impart your Counsels to to make a Friend and Companion of c. Hinc lachrymae This smoke also makes your eyes runne ouer But let me tell you To bewayle the losse of your Child because hee was necessary to you you could ill misse him is selfe-loue not the loue of your Child And to be sad for the welfare of your Child being euaded all perils and highly promoted and dignified besides is the part of an enuious person not of a Father or Kinsman Would old Iacob or any true-hearted FrieÌ„d or acquaintance of Iosephs be drest in melancholy to heare that the King of Egypt had releast him out of prison and sent for him to Court to make him a great Lord and Vice-roy of the Kingdome If you had beene told a while agon of some extraordinary worldly preferment befalne your Sonne aboue all that you could thinke or hope for though in some farre remote place whereby your former familiar Conuerses must be cut off yet I suppose that for his good you would haue entertain'd the newes with gladnesse and laid by your owne particular respects And now that he is exalted to the very Top and heighth of honour and that in eternity now that he is enstall'd a Prince among Celestiall Princes for not any are lesse then Kings and Queenes that are admitted thither will you lowre and be in dumps as for a matter of speciall discomfort and mishap Will you bee sorry for his ioy deiected for his aduancement sicke of his happinesse Had you rather your Sonne should bee without Heauen then you without your Sonne This is a plaine degree of Madnesse Shall wee lament for them that laugh mourne for them that feast and sing hurt our health for them that are perfectly whole Now that hee is dead and buried nay now that his life is indeed truly Vitall and Liuing will you for his sake goe drowne your selfe in your owne teares Certè plus animi debet inesse viris More wisdome ought to rest in them That weare the onely name of Men. He hath no sence of your sorrowes for him nor will thanke you for hurting your selfe by the liberty you giue to the Rage of Nature CONSIDERATION 10. GOd hath by death freed him not onely from the dangers and corruptions of the Age wherein hee might haue beene swallowed but from the common euils which may fall vpon his Suruiuers greater perhaps and neerer then we imagine The Condition of the Times is so bad as punishments cannot be farre off To be set in safety before their approaches whil'st the storme is but a thickning is no small benefit Comicus â—â—t ap Plutar. Si tu sciebas illuÌ„ vitae tempus hoc Ereptum ei quod est habiturum prosperum Mors eius immatura existimanda erit Quid si molesta habuisset multa ac tristia Haec finiens mors
too soone for then the Teares turne backe to drowne the heart Iobs Friends said not a word to him for the first seuen daies but let passioÌ„ haue his course and tire it selfe themselues sitting sad and silent by him But on the other side you must not stay it too long for then it playes the Tyrant and killes and slayes without mercy â— Cor. 7. Worldly sorrow causeth death and disease It 's like a foraigne power call'd in to the Ayde of a distressed Kingdome which cannot be got out againe but proues a worse enemy then that it came to expell You haue already plaid the part of a louing Father wept the Teares of Nature you must now change your Copy withdraw your finger from the sore and play the part of a wise and constant man And that is either to preuent a mischiefe when it is approching or if it happen to amend it and labour to make it as little as may be According to the old precept Bona quà m maxima facere mala contrahere atque imminuere Extend and inlarge any Good to the vtmost Hebetant Rationis â—ciem miseriae Omnes in monendo sapientes sumus cuÌ„ aure ipsiâ— liquâ—d faâ—mus no intelligimuâ— Eruâ—mid but contract and diminish what you can the euill But because generally all succours faile vs in aduersity passion sending vp such Fogs that the vnderstanding is blinded though we haue beene in our owne wel-faring neuer so able to minister words of comfort to others in their distresses giue me leaue at this Time to take you by the hand and onely to set you in the way to the doore of Consolation Multa etiam ab Olitore recte atque in loco proferri possunt Eu'n an Herb-wife sometimes may Things right and to the purpose say CONSIDERATION I. FIrst call to your remembrance that great Statute That all must once dye And that doome for sinne Heb. 9.27 Gen. 3. Dust thou art and into Dust thou shalt returne Herod Omnibus vna manet nox Fit calcanda semel via lethi One darksome night awaits each liuing wight And Deaths high-way must once be trod despight Nascimur morimur is euery ones Motto Wee are all borne mortall What maruell to see that cut asunder which may bee cut asunder That melted which is fusible and apt to melt That burnt which is combustible The Sonne die as well as the Father being borne vnder the same Condition of Mortality that the Father was All vnions in this world must be dissolued Fathers and Children must bee seuered Friends Friends Husbands Wiues as they had a Time to come together so they must haue a Time to part asunder Sic Natura postulat nec graue putandum fieri quod necesse est So Nature craues nor thinke it much to see The Thing so done that needs so done must be CONSIDERATION 2. SEcondly consider that it is the case of others with you If you had beene the first or onely Father that had lost a Sonne and no other had drunk of this Cup before you then you had some Colour to complaine and to continue and spin out your laments But the worme is spred euen vnder Royall Branches Kings and Princes are depriued of their Children as well as meaner men yea those Children that should keepe their Kingdome from staggering Histories are full of instances Whence you that are so conuersant in those readings can easily store your selfe let it bee inough for me to reach you onely three or foure familiar Ones within the reach lâ—en of our owne memory That Noble Lord of the North lost three of his Sonnes In florentissima aetate in the very bloome of youth and lustihood One before his aged Eyes by the ruggednesse of an vnbroken Horse and Two together out of a Boate passing ouer a rough Ferry You know but a little since A worthy Knight of our Country lost one of his Sons a lusty yong Gentleman in our owne Riuer his Horse leaping with his Rider plum ouer the Boates side A Noble Gentlewoman our neighbour after the losse of a deare and excellent Husband lost in the Circle of a few yeeres sixe of her Children all growne Men and Women three faire Daughters and three braue Sonnes the yongest in a Tempest of Bullets at the assault of an vnfortunate Iland The Prince Palatines losse of his First-borne Sonne by the vnlucky running of a Ship with full saile ouer his Barge is fresh in all minds Perishing by misfortune is a greater Cut then leauing the world by Gods Visitation So that your case being common with others and more easie then diuers others That may stifle some sighs and calme a many repining complaints Inter arma lituos Am. Mar. lib. 26. c. 13. conditionis aequatio leuiorafacit pericula Euen among weapons and sounding Trumpets the equality of Condition makes the danger lighter and lesse sensible Who reckes his life or dreads death when in the whirle and Din of warre hee seeth not onely his fellow-Soldiers knockt downe beside him but a many valiant yong Nobles resolute and hardy Knights and Commanders that erewhile cleft the crowdes and hewed themselues a way thorow the thickest Rankes of the Enemy fallen to ground also and lying breathles among Thousands of other dead bodies What a Rowe might bee presented of weeping Fathers and Mothers for their Sonnes accomplisht at their no small charge with learning and breeding sodainely hurried out of the world vpoÌ„ a Sword or Rapiers point in desperate quarrels or Challenges and Duells within the compasse of halfe Your Time Age desine intuonsque aliorum miserias Tua lenius feres Goe to giue ouer and by view Of others Griefes your owne subdue CONSIDERATION 3. THirdly the impossibility of recouering your losse Prorsus nö sunt tentäda impossibilia Sopho Optimum est obliuisci quodrecuperari non potest The best salue for an irrecouerable losse is Obliuion Non placet istud factum Terent. Adelph Act. 4.5.8 si possem mutare nunc cum non queo aequo animo fero This fact likes me not if I knew how to help it now that I cannot what remedy but patience If your Sonne were to bee bought and brought to life againe at a set price of sorrow I beleeue you would bid frankly for him But The Graue returnes no Men. You shall goe to him he shall not come againe to you And therefore to sit day by day with folded armes and dropping eyes a heart heauy as lead for the Losse cannot possibly be regayned as it is vnprofitable to the bemoaned so 't is a hurt to the bemoaner yea of one harme to make Two Nay it is to resist the high and heauenly Will and to bee found Striuers against God In which number I know you would be loth to be ranked You haue not so learned Christ CONSIDERATION 4. FOurthly Time it selfe may minister some Physicke to your Affliction A Prisoners Irons seeme not so heauy to