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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A10627 The returne of the knight of the poste from Hell with the diuels aunswere to the supplication of Pierce Penilesse, with some relation of the last treasons. 1606 (1606) STC 20905; ESTC S101542 27,376 45

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ride before a Cloke-bagge or but carry a sworde and vnckler out-scrippe me and out-braue me by an vnequall distribution euen with that patrimony for part of which doubtlesse I was once created yea when I saw nature her selfe whome Philosophie had made the excellent mystres of all thinges now become the vg●est monster of all ages serpent like deuouring vp the issue of her owne bowels when I saw neglect in parents tyranny in Brethren and contempt in kinsfolke when I saw fooles a aduanced Philosophers dispised straungers feasted children starued gold enough to purchase toyes charitie too little euer to enter heauen when I saw Monkeis cherisht in mothers lappes while Children cride for want of cradles new fashions purchast with al unmodestie old manors solde to maintain thriftlesnes when all this I saw what could I doe but cry O hommum mores O gens O tempora dura Quantus in vrbe dolor quantus in orbe dolus And in that passion comparing the Cittie and Countrie together and finding them of sutable ilnes I resolued with Astopho that since there was no better and that as Machiuell holdes we must necessarily conueise with the euill that it was my best to chuse the best of euils whereupon dischargeing my hopes and praying for my persecutors I packt vppe my baggage and made a maine backe againe for the Cittie which how euer ch●●den by the Puritanise the Humorist or the Satyrist yet in mine experience I foūd it more charitable then the Countrie Uulgarist but my horse was no sooner ariued within the pr 〈…〉 t s of ●hordich where bountie is so super aboundant that men may commaund bodies as fast as the deuill desires soules when I beheld at euerie dore a weapon at every streetes end a guard and at euerie gate a petty regiment I coulde not chuse but wonder and presage that some notable famous and vnweakeable villanie should be the occasion of this seuere diligent carefulnes yet againe remembring with my selfe that since the blessed comming of his most excellent Maiestie I had not beheld the Cittie gouernment I halfe supposed that this strict obseruance was grounded vpon some strayt●r ruling the vulgar multitude so that loath to discharge mine owne ignorance I ●oroare to make inquirie o. that I most desired to vnderstand the rather sith I behelde the generalitie thereof which was equal●●e demeaned throgh the whole Cittie in the end comming into Powles to beholde the old Duke his guests and to see if greate Christophers rome were not equaled with nob e Francis and famous Philips Tombe I beheld all things after the olde fashion in the ende walking downe into the great market place of confused discourses I had not taken aboue two or three turnes ere I obserued this that generally all men whose talke I could ouer-heare seemed onely to discourse of one Subiect praysing God that had reuealed a must horridde and not to be imagined treason biterly cursing those monsters and monstrous men whose ●●uelish braines could contriue a damnable Proiect worse then euer the Diuell himselfe dreamde of at least much worse then euer was thought of in former ages for no religion could cloake it no Atheizme could maintaine it nor could any reuenge be imagined of so infinit and damnable greatnes for the plot made no respect of Gods annointed no conscience of his elect nor no care of many thousand innocents as hauing onely this end to bring the most fluorishing empyre of the world to à most sad wofull and eternall desolation this vniuersall discourse as I gathered here and there a word and ioynde them together in mine own thoughts made euen my hayre rise with the terror thereof yet insomuch as I could not gette a perfect vnderstanding of the matter in my walking vp and down I much more diligently lookt about to see it I could discerne any of mine acquaintance of whome I might enquire the truth of this hyddcous conspiracie but my long absenc● had robd me of olde acquaintance From the great wal●e I went to the Usurers alley where hauing taken a turne or two I might perceiue the argument of th● tie in the hundred and the coos●ning the law with an o●●e stale ●ricke of the life of a stranger was quite layde aside and the bringing of the Lumbard out of Germany into England was quite forgotten and they as the former though fo● merlie they had neuer reioycste at any mans 〈…〉 now were infinitely well pleased with the discou●ri● of the execrable conspiracie but ●ull my selfe was not bettered in mine owne knowledge From thence I went into the Intelligencers gallerie where the Proteousles of this age hold their conuenticle men that change their religions a● ost as the Marchants wife her smocks that had seuenscore for her shift and esteeme more of a Spanish Crusado or a French sous then eyther of the allegiance to which they are bound by nature or of honesty which should make them acceptable in mens societie these men albeit they are no better in reputation then common executioners and that all their Proiectes haue but these endes eyther to entangle or strangle yet as I might ouer heare some odde parcels of their broken Spanish Italian and French Apotheges I found O myracle a certaine contyence in them with a bitter detestation and hatefull condemning of the former practise Now whether it were Enuie in them that the Deuill should select worse Agents then themselues or that grace being not vtterly banisht toucht them with the thought of such bestiall vnnaturalnes I know not but certaine it is they like wise condemned the inuention and reioy●st at the preuention which when I noted I was much more enflamed then euer I was before to vnderstand the substance the rather when I considered how God and good men fooles and fantastickes slaues and villaines euen all sortes of people from the ●est to the worst ioynd in one generall applauding Gods mercies that had brought to light a treason of such not to be imagined monstrousnes whereupon looking vp and dawne at last I espied a fellow with a hunger staruedlooke and an enuious gesture with a threede-bare cloake and an halfe but●onde doublet with a necke almost ru●les and a waste all girdlesse with torne breeches and vngarterd stockinges his shooes cut and his toes vncouered this fellow mee thought as he walkte more discontentedly thē the rest so did he in my conceite vse more serious and b●sie action to himselfe then any other and albeit he was alone yet did he vse such earnest demonstrations as if hee had beene declaiming before a multitude to him I went and priuiledged by the basenesse of his habite at the first I askte him what newes hee heard in the Citty why saide he are you such a straunger that you heare not the newes truely aunswered I I am but newlie come to the Citie and haue not as yet heard of any passadges why quoth he the Parliament-house the Kinges Maiestie the
Queen the Prince of Wales the Lords spiri tual and Temporal the Commons of the Kingdom and all that eyther had attended them or come to behold thē should this day haue beene blowne vppe with Gunne-powder Now the Lord in Heauen defend quoth I and withall started backe what hath there beene seene any visible Deuils abroad that should haue acted that vgly tragedie for sure no man or mankind could eyther haue the braines to contriue or the handes to execute such an h●●ride and inhumaine treason But sayd he Deuil me no denils they may hereafter through iudgement proue Deuils but as yet they are men which bo●h contriude and should haue executed Haue you quoth I heard any of their names their names replied he why I am of familiar acquaintāce with them all he that should haue executed and was like wise a contriuer was one Guy do Faulkes The especial Plotte-layer was Thomas Piercy Robert Catesby the two VVinters John VVright Christopher VVright and din●rs others truely aunswered I you doe but delude me for these sellowes were of such vnder qualitie and so sarre from hope of aduancement by the ●u●uersion of the common-wealth that except all ●entrie should be rooted out and nothing left but their families I see not which way they should haue raisde their fortunes one steppe higher ●s for Faukes I neuer bearde his name before for Percie I knewe him long since at what time he was reputed a good honest geutleman seruingma● one that ●urst fight and had fought many t●l frayes by which meanes he got loue amongst men and credit with his Lorde and Maister but for any estate worthye to bring him into the eye of the common wealthe or for any wisedom worthy to bee called into a common coūsel or for any sinceriti● in religion fit to be a lantherne to others pathe● they were attributes then as farre from him as he by this plotte is farre from a good christian there was in him a ●alure which had it not been estrangde from vertue might well haue brought him to account but neuer to the office of a crowne bestowing Nowe for Catesby I had also some knowledge of him too whom many men esteemed in times pastfor a gentilman of a good franke nature and of a sociable disposition one that coulde well tell how to set vp a rest at primero or to throwe a paire of Dice out of his hardes with the best comelines But for me●ling with matters of estate or alteration of kingd●s I neuer knew any foole so mad as to hope of aduancement by his fortunes Yet this in ●haritie I must say of him he had a secret greatnes of ●pitit which had it like wise had no acquaintance but vertue might haue deser●d much good both of his King Country as for VVinters they were mē like Faukes out of my ●llement therefore I thinke of them as of the●e de●d● that they are the worst of past and present remembrance but for the two VVrights though they were men with wh● I had little or no acquainiāce yet were they men of whom I haue heard many vild discourses therfore likely to be the ministers of euil The elder of thē was infinitly proud yet not so proud as ingratefull for being v●terlye without any certaine meares more then the reuenue of other mens purses yet was his generall ostentatiō that he was beholden to no man His vertue was a good oylie tongue that with easie vtterance beguild many weake attentions and a formall corriage which contemning others heapt vpon himselfe a selfe commondations his vsuall boast was that he scornd felt hats he loude dublets lined with taffat●●●nen of twenty shillings an elle silk stockings neuer v● d●r twenty angels in his pocket and his horseat least of fortic poū● reckoning this being wrought onely by cifers I scarde would euer in the end bring vpon him the Romō iudgement Detur carnifici the rather in that I knew his youth was loose and adulterate his middle age proud and contemptuous and therefore his ende like to bee desperate and treacherous for the younger Wright he was in show blockish and clownish in disposition currish and as his samiliars reported by facultie theeuish so that he was ofter carractred in my Lord chiefe Iustices records then in the callender of those that should marke men for good imployment Now these thinges considered I can but wonder and stand amazed that such wormes as these should goe about to vndermine so glorious and strong a gouernmēt the ruines whereof coulde not chuse but trus● them into many peeces but the Dinel whose time is but short more extreamely rageth And this last Iron age must of necessitie be the mother of Monsters mischiefes and prodigies Why replied this threede-ba●e fellow Do you hold this Position that Pouertie is no fitte Agent for villany at●s you are much dece●ued they are the onely corner-stones on which the diuell ●●ecteth his Empyre for to them he preposeth wealth glory and aduancement the onely contraries to their fortunes and what dooth man naturally most couet but what he most wanteth againe where shall you finde more pride then in beggars more contempt then in slaues and more reuenge then in weakenes O you are too simple if you th●nke not these men fit for massacre I hearing him talke thus beganne to looke somewhat strangely vppon him and demaunded of him what he was of whence that being so disorderlie attired could so fubtlely order his wordes I am quoth he to tell you truely both in essence and nature a spirite which taking vpon me this humaine shape runne vp and downe to encrease these mischiefes and to enrich Hell which is my maisters kingdō briefly I am a knight of the post that knight of the post who about som tē years agon cōuaide the supplicatiō of Pierce Pennilesse to the Deuil my Maister I hearing him talke thus tooke vppe my hand and blest my selfe but after casting away both feare and amazement I told him that I had many times reade the Supplication wherein Pierce did describe the Knight of the Poste to be a neate ●edanticall fellow in the forme of a Cittizen and you looke quoth I like a ●atterde out-cast that should hide himselfe from the Pronost Marshall why Sir said he Thinke you the Deuils Factors shift their shapes no o●ter then wilde Irish womē their smockes O you are deceuied I am a Cittizen but for Cittie occasions as to bayle v●thriftes to defeat creditors to abuse iustice and to c●s●n Innocentes I am sometimes an Atturney sometimes a Pr●ctor very ●ltē a Parrator I haue worne a Barresters gowne and whē neede requires a cornerde Cappe I haue a short furde cloake and a paire of Spanish lether Bu●kins I haue a suite of the best fashion white Pumpes and a guil● Rapier I haue a great scarfe a short skrine and a paire of starcht Mutchatoes in briefe what can I not counterfeite when eyther the Diuell will haue me