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A34793 The schismatick stigmatized wherein all make-bates are branded : whether they are eves-dropping-newes-carriers, murmurers, complainers, railers, reproachers, revilers, repining reformers, fault-finders, quarrell-pickers and corner-creepers : with all the rabble of brain-sicks who are enemies to old Englands peace / by Richard Carter. Carter, Richard, 17th/18th cent. 1641 (1641) Wing C664; ESTC R10295 11,943 23

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asked him why he gave thanks for Benefactors and he replyed The practise of Oxford-Schollers was Christian for they rehearse in the Pulpit a large Catalogue of Benefactors by name and giving God thanks for them all because they loved our nation and have built us Synagogues I heard him say also that authority have removed the railes from the Communion-table but Brairsick Schismaticks have brought all their railings into Pulpits where they prate of Mag-pyes Cocks-combs Rooks and Wood-cocks Jack Dawes Crowes Ravens their cousen German and of Crossing and lyes Psal. 59. 12. Nick Zay him what he woll who hem doe call praters are zweer Teachers they con stond under the originalls but not one word of Latine vor Latine God blesse us is the language of the whore of Rome And a zet up a Zinc of Richard and Iohn Dorothing and a zaith they were Benefactors to their Church but though o was a Benevactor th a pulden downe with a vengeance because a had on a Bishops Cap on 's head ha ha he Oh my side I say ho ho Tom. Brother Nickallas he set up Verses to this purpose Saint James and both Derothings we Record And for all such we blesse and praise the Lord And againe Such and their workes we high esteeme What ever Brain-sick fellowes deeme And againe This Church repair'd the time I fixe Sixteen hundred thirtie sixe And this following Behold a blessed sight to see When men in peace and truth agree Concord with truth makes strong all things This pleaseth God and Christian Kings But discord hath great mischiefes wrought And Kingdomes great hath brought to nought Therefore good Christians all accord In peace and truth still please the Lord Devills doe joyne tempt and conspire Alwayes to bring all to hell-fire But men who doe concord reject Are worse than Devills in this respect Nick Oh brother Tom-asse he makes us all worse than Devills ha ha he I con but lafe Tom. I asked him who he meant by those Brain-sick fellows and he said he did well hope they had beene all at Roter-dam or Amsterdam But being my poore harmlesse Verses have done their Errand and Schisme and Faction hath made application therefore now downe with them downe with them even to the ground thus we see his ignorance I asked him where the soule of Lazarus was while his body lay in the ground and whether he did inherit his lands againe when he was restored to life and he smiled as indeed his common manner is and said he would not answer a foole in his folly I demanded of him also what God was doing before he made the world and hee said for ought he knew God was preparing hell-fire to torment Brain-sick fooles unlesse they doe repent in time Nick I harden zay that which we call porredge and Masse is Gods Divine Service what zaist thou Tom. I heard him compare the same to Nectar and Ambrosia yea sweeter then the honey and the honey-combe Nick Zay what he woll wee zure must have all-turd this zourvice now or never Tom. Ay true-ly brother Nick away with this dependant government both head and taile root and branch Downe with all Universities Colledges and Schooles they doe but maintaine Learning an enemy to us Downe with Churches Hospitalls and Almes-houses they doe but helpe the widowes fatherlesse blinde sicke and lame these were most of them founded by Papists Downe with all these Crosses in generall especially that Idolatrous Crosse in Cheap-side Away with all Orthodoxe Divines as Doctors Bishops and such like these all the swelling Titles of Anti-christ and have a Pope in their bellies being Papists in graine Up with a Barne a Cow-house a Stable a Hogs-stye a Dogs-kennell a private house or Privy house the Woods fields in a Ditch under a hedge all those places are consecrated as well as their Popish Churches Nick Ha ha he gramarcy gramarcy brother Tom-asse ge me thy vest I zay I zee thy zeale away too with the zhitten smock of the whore of Rome Tom. Away with the whore strip her starke naked make her a very Adamite that silly sencelesse sinlesse shamelesse sister of ours Nick Brother Tom I hope zhortly to zee thee vapour up into a Poopit vorzooth as they are Coblers Boxe-makers Felt-makers Button-makers Coatch-men Bottle-Ale-sellers Taylers and Botchers and zuch like these are all zweet Teachers and all the happinesse these poopish vellowes have next to the bloud of Christ they are beholding to us vor the zame And I zee the Zaints on Christs and they zay the Zaints in heaven too are worshipped therevore I see no reason but they must all downe Tom. Brother Nick I would not part from thee thus but wee have a private meeting anon I pray thee meet mee there Nick Ha ha he zaist thou zo they zay our Prevemeetings are called Tickles I connot tell wot Chivoz never zo joviall zince thouze ebore ha he ha Oh what zhall I zay I can but laugh O my sides Tom. Call they our meetings what they please In a word Mr. Faction doth teach to day and he came lately from Amsterdam or Rotterdam or some other new Plantation in Tom-Turbulents Ferry-Boat with a huge Spring-Tide the last great Beare-baiting and he landed at the Isle of Dogs And Mr. Tickle he will tickle them in five places Nick Cha haden bevore now there woll be no Masse nor Poredge Zames nor Glori Patria no vurst nor zecond Lezon no Epistle nor Gozpell no Pater noster vor that is a zin and Poperie to zay our Vather no ten Commandements no Collects no standing up at the Creed nor no kneeling downe but all zitting on our Bummes and our Hats on shim as we zate by the vire zide vor there 's no prayer vor King or Queene nor their Children no prayer vor vaire weather nor a nont vowle and no prayer a nont word vamine or zicknesse But Mr. Vaction hath abundance of indiscretion and a negligent care to prevent all good meanes to zee every thing our of order and nothing as it should be Oh brother Tomasse who would have thote to zee this zweet deformation ha he I con but laugh Oh my belly I zay Tom. There will be more than a good many well knowne to thee and to me these by name besides Master Faction and Master Tickle there will be also Sir Iohn Lack-Latine Nebula Newes-carrier Marmaduke Murmurer Cabillus Complainer Ralph Rayler Roger Reviler Randall Repiner Rodrick Reprocher Rodulphus Reformer and Rowland Renegado Clement Corner-creeper Edgar Etonist Triston Trakite Patrick Peevish Anthony Antinomist Quintillian Quarrell-picker Pheb Phanaticus Sim Separatist Franck Familist Bat Brownist and Hercules Hatefull Not onely all those subtle Buzzards but also a rout of our sweet sistren as Agnes Anabaptist Kate Catabaptist Franck Footbaptist Penelope Punck Merald Make-bate Ruth Rake-hell Tabitha Tattle Pru Prattle and that poore silly simple sencelesse sinlesse shamelesse naked wretch Alice the Adamite As bare as ones naile
They pretend an extraordinary inspiration like the Gold-smith that blinde Prophet in Germany who proclaimed Iohn of Leidon the Cobler that he should be Emperour of all the world and that he should destroy all Princes Potentates and Prelates but should spare all the common rout who are the onely lovers of sincerity This was in the yeare 1533. Here was the like braine-sick Schismatick in England Hacket by name he was proclaimed King by other Schismaticall Rebells in the 33. of Elizabeth read Conspira pag. 66. and the Annalls of England collected by Iohn Stow pag. 1288. Also in the same 33. yeare of Queen Elizabeth I read of another Braine-sick Rebell who with trayterous words reviled her Majesty and defaced her Armes and pierced in that part of her picture which did represent her breast and heart for the which treason hee was justly put to death July 26. in the yeare above named Read the fore-named Iohn Stow his Annals p. 1289. Almighty God who hast delivered Queen Elizabeth and K. Iames from all their enemies preserve also King Charles his sacred Majesty from all his and our mortall phanatick and Braine-sicke Schismaticall foes Amen Stigma 19. They revile Gods Divine Service prophanely tearming the same Porredge and the Popes Masse-booke yea their blinde zeale will not permit the reading of the Sacred Scriptures in publick no nor to use our blessed Lords Prayer neither first nor last all our Service is no better than Masse if you will believe Schismaticks And being grossely scandalous with whoring couzenage and drunkennesse and slandering they put it oft saying it is the flesh for they are altogether spirituall forsooth Stigma 20. Last of all they are miserable close-fisted when our Kings Majesty demandeth his due for his Royall supportation and for the safety and defence of his Kingdomes I have read that on a time Constantinople was besieged a long time together and at last the enemy was minded to give over the siege and bee gone but newes came to the enemy that the souldiers within the City were growne verie weak and discontented for want of their pay the enemy then returned and in short space took the City there they found infinite store of gold and all manner of treasure the hundred part thereof would have payed the Souldiers and so have kept out the enemy and preserved all The enemy himselfe seeing the treasure hid basely hee lamented their folly and this is a Proverb to this day among the Turks when one becommeth very rich You have beene at the siege of Constantinople I leave this Bone for all hide-bound close-fisted Schismaticks to gnaw upon I will adde what King Iames of ever blessed memory saith in his learned {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} verbatim his words are these in the 42. page of the said Booke These are very Pests in Church and Common-weale whom neither oathes nor promises can bind breathing out nothing but sedition and calumnies aspiring without measure and rayling without reason making their owne imaginations without any warrant of Gods Word the square of their consciences I protest before the great God and since it is no time for mee to lye being now upon my Testament that yee shall never finde with any hy-land or border-theeves greater ingratitude and more lyes and vile perjuries than with these Phanatick spirits Read the rest of this Page and the 43. of this most excellent Booke I will adde what I read in the Book of Homilies Tome 1. p. 36. The world from the beginning till now was ever prompt and ready to fall from God and his holy Commandements in seeking other devices of their owne braines and a devotion found out by the Devill and themselves the which idle dreames and devices they ever set up above Gods Commandements What man of learning and sound judgement doth not see how hypocrisie schisme and faction and heresie doe not daily more and more creep into our Church The foure Leaven thereof doth almost foure the unleavened lumpe I will conclude with that reverend Bishop Iuell indeed the Juell of our Church whose Workes are famous in our severall Churches He saith O immortall God have all our Orthodox Divines beene out of the way and now are a sort of Schismaticks onely in the truth God forbid God forbid It hath been an old complaint even from the first time of the Patriarchs and Prophets confirmed by the writings and testimonies of every age veritatem in terris peregrinam agere interagnotos facile inimicos calumniatores invenire Apologia Eccles. Ang. And God affect all our hearts with a serious and frequent cogitation of sicknesse death and the last judgement that we may all feare God and honour our King and live in peace as good subjects should doe according to Gods holy Word and blessed Ordinance that in whatsoever we do think or speake wee may ever minde that terrible voyce Surgite mortui venite ad judicium St. Hieron. de Reg. Monarch Chap. 30. Saint Hierom oft did well record The second comming of our Lord When this huge Globe shall with fire flame And all the creatures in the same Therefore all minde that dreadfull doome Arise you dead to judgement come Here followeth my Phantasie or Conceit between Tom-asse Pragmaticus and Nick-all-asse Non-sence THomas thus began to vapour Oh brother Nickallas come come give me thy hand give me thy hand well met well met what newes about religion the time is come we looked for there are rods in these popish times in pisse for all those papisticall Protestants and for this Episcopall Dependant Government and Governours what saist thou Nickallas Nick Ha ha he well emet well emet brother Tom ge me thy han ge me thy vest I say I con but laugh ha ha lie Oh my zide oh my belly I zay what did you hire of the Protestation protested wherein thuck zweet Teacher you know who doe say that this government is popish as indeed 't is my Creed Tom. But what saist thou to this R. C. who hath written two Poems besides this and in all three he doth extoll this Anti-Christian government to the skies Nick I can him thurty or vorty years better than thuck that maden and no man knoweth what 's in hem but I c ham zure he hath a little Pope in 's belly vor he is ever pooring in books and mooping by himzelfe and this is the unjust cause he giveth thanks vor Zaints departed and zets up Zaints in the Church ha ha he I have hit the naile on the head c ham zure of that ha ha he oh my belly and my side I say Tom. I hit that in his teeth and he said that he did put up one picture of St. Iames in St. Iames his Church and because he stood bare-headed at the time of Divine Service therefore we have puld it downe But the next time hee shall bee set up with his hat on his head sitting on his Bum. I