THE Royal Flight OR THE CONQUEST OF IRELAND A NEW FARCE LONDON Printed for Richard Baldwin near Oxford-Arms in Warwick-Lane 1690. The Persons K. J. D. of Berwick Tyrconnel Powis Herbert Nugent Lutterel Talbot Pretended Primate Arch Bishop of Cassels Sarsfield Hamilton Mac-Guillicuddy D'Avaux Lauzune La Hoquette Leri Ld. Mayor of Dublin Hall the Priest Priests and Jesuits Protestants and Papists Officers and Souldiers Messenger Lady Lancarty PROLOGUE AFter one Summers being in Arms in vain And Ireland look't like Hounslow-Heath Campaign When to drink Usquebagh and pick his Toes Mend his pacht Brogues and Mundifie his Cloaths Was all Teague had to do one would have thought The Irish might to Discipline been brought For tho' their Wit and Sense can never Charm ye They might have learnt the Language of an Army When their great Generals fam'd beyond the Moon Were Deputy King James and Count Lazune The first for why should we great Actions bury So famous for his Flight from Salisbury The other who from 's Master learnt the Trick Of Burning Towns because they 're Heretick But they learnt only how to fight in jest Nay when they were by greatest dangers prest And minding nothing that their Generals say But how to face about and run away Not Bullies Scouring from the Mid-Night Watch Nor needy Debtor from a Serjeants Catch Could Faster run than did the Irish Hoast When Great King William o're the Boyn was crost Their Abdicated Prince first show'd the way And why should they behind their Leader stay For he 't is said from Hubbaboos and Hoots Rode sixty Mile that day and spoil'd his Boots 'T would be a Jubile at Rome that Day If James could learn to fight as well as Pray And I 'le affirm't without his Royal Word 'T is a good Cause sets th' edge upon a Sword But his is such a sneaking little Cause And much more Vgly then he made our Laws A Cause of such a Tottering sinking Fame No Prince e're thriv'd that undertook the same And were there but a worser Place than Hell May they be all sent there that wish it Well THE ROYAL FLIGHT OR THE Conquest of Ireland ACT I. SCENE I. James Tyrconnel Herbert Hall the Priest K. James leaning his Arm upon a Table and resting his Head upon his Knuckles IT was observ'd that when I was first crown'd in this Kingdom of Ireland my Crown stood like the Steeple of the Duomo at Pisa awry upon my Head which way soever Men lookt upon me Was that a good Sign Hall or No Hall I suppose it lean'd toward England Sir and then 't was a good sign I long to be preaching again in your Chappel at White hall James By the Mass and so do I too to hear thee there But when I first turn'd Roman-Catholick I was promis'd Mountains of Gold Where are those Mountains Hall Despair not Sir I make no Question but rather than you shall want that Heaven will rain Gold for as many days together as it rain'd in the Time of the Flood James I good Sooth Father Hall I should be glad to see that day come I have no Faith in Miracles Hall I am sorry to hear you say so Sir K. James Why so Hall Oh Sir If you would but trust in the Queen of Heaven I dare be bold to say she would send you her own Life-Guard to fight without Pay which would be the same thing as if she should Coin half the Stars in the Firmament to make Money for you James In the mean time what good News my Lords How go Affairs in England Herbert To your wish Sir The clos'd Parties are all to pieces again Whigs and Tories once more at Daggers drawing and contending for Mayors and Sheriffs and Common Council-Men as much as ever SCENE II. Herbert Tyrconnel D'Avaux Berwick James James I know I have a good Party there but still my Brother of France D'Avaux Hold Sir I am my Master's Representative in this place and must not brook this Language My Brother of France James Why Sir I am a Crown'd Head D'Avaux That 's nothing Sir you are but his Viceroy in this Kingdom consequently none of his Brother My Master 's too Jealous of his Honour to call his Inferiour Brother Tyrconnel By St. Patrick y' are a Proud French-man D'Avaux By St. Denis y' are a Beggarly Teague Barwick Sir the King is my Father and my Father is the King of Frances Brother D'Avaux Princock you are too Sawcy Then turning to K. James Sir I demand Reparation for these Affronts James My Lord I 'm sorry for th' occasion I know indeed the Barons of my Exchequer at London may call Baron Tell-clock Brother but Baron Tell-clock must not call any of them Brothers Y' are in the Right my Lord D'Avaux I am but a King-Tell-clock in the World at present But pass it over I 'll undertake my Wife shall make all well again SCENE III. D'Avaux Lausun D'Avaux Morthleu A Prince of No-land call my Master Brother Lausun Truly my Lord I think 't was by you ill tim'd for you know our Master pretends to assist him as still King of Great Brittain and therefore I don't believe he would have disown'd the Expression as yet had it been spoken to his Face D'Avaux But I know as well how our Master intends to Fool him how he only makes a Tool of him but despises him in his Heart Lausun That 's nothing what a Party would our Master loose both in England and Scotland and perhaps in this Kingdom too should he pretend to set up for himself D'Avaux To tell you truth I think our Master does ill to spend so much Money Time and so many Men upon him For i' my Conscience 't will all come to nothing Lausun I am in a fine case then to sell so fair an Estate as I have done to follow his Fortune D'Avaux Why look ye Sir Where Prudence and Courage are wanting there can never be a Prospect of Success Lausun What must we do then D'Avaux Make haste while the Sun shines Plunder and repay your self there be good Gleanings still left Never pity the People they 're a sort of Miscreants not worth hanging I have taken that course with the King as to make him seize all his Protestant Subjects Goods by Armed Force and then having set a Price upon them at his own Pleasure which he only pays in his own Copper Money to export them to our Master his Dear Correspondent in France Lausun You are a Faithful and Politick Minister I must confess D'Avaux Tann'd Hides Raw Hides Wooll Tallow and Butter are all Commodities which my Master wants and how much of this sort of Merchandize I have got the King to Ship off into France this year 1689 d'ye think Lausun I cannot tell my Lord. D'Avaux Begar my Lord no less than Thirty three thousand four hundred fifty eight Hides Tann'd and Raw Sixty one thousand four hundred and five Stone of Wooll three hundred
enter Shuts the Door after him James Father you have wak'd me out of a sweet Slumber I was just dreaming of the Lady you wot of Hall 'T is from her I bring you Tidings I wish all your Enemies were as much at your command as She James Most Excellent Father sit down and talk softly Hall Sir I gave her a Visit under the usual pretence of Confession according to your command James And did you find her laden with Sin Hall I ne're asked her Sir how many Sins she had committed my business was as you well know had they been a hundred to perswade her to commit half a Score more to serve your Majesty and then to give her a Discharge in full James And how did she relish your Discourse Father Hall Why Sir I laid before her the Danger that threaten'd the Holy Church if she should suffer you to Languish and Pine away to Death for Love of her I told her how you had lost your Stomack and that nothing would go down with you but Sugar sops at night How you fasted and pray'd Mundays Tuesdays Wednesdays Thursdays Fridays and Saturdays and that I was confident she was the Saint to whom you offer'd up all your Devotions James What said she Hall She Hector'd and Flounc'd at first as if she had been the Goddess of Chastity call'd me Pimping Priest and a Reproach to my Profession and held out her Flag of Defiance at that rate that I began to despair of taking the Fort but the Devil so Faithfully supply'd me with fresh Batteries that at length as I may so say I took her by Storm And when she surrender'd But does the King dye for me she cry'd with such a Languishing Utterance that I perceived I had wounded her to the Heart in the Assault and that she only expected you to be her Surgeon James Successful Father thou hast oblig'd us for ever Hall She enjoyn'd me Sir most seriously to Privacy and I found too she had read the Earl of Rochester's Poems for she made use of the Dutchess of Clevelands Argument James That Father must be another of your Master-pieces Hall And I think Sir I have it already I will go to her again and appoint a convenient Time and Hour for Confession which being done with all the Care and Caution imaginable you shall go and meet her in my Habit Our Habit is a strange sort of Habit Sir the Devil makes use of it sometimes to cover his Clov'n Feet A Jesuits Gown is like Ixions Cloak which Juno gave him to lye with her undiscover'd James By the Mass Father thou hast Wit and Invention at Will I hug thy Design and I like it the better because you know I am one of the Order my self Hall Sir you see I am wholly at your Devotion James Nor shall you loose by 't Father Croesus shall not be richer than Thee if e're I come to my Throne again More than that I will erect a Colledge of Jesuits in England as big as the Escurial in Spain There shalt thou live like a Prince have more Lordships than the Old Abbots of St. Albans and Eat and Drink in more Plenty than the Monks of Glassenbury Hall These are Spurs would make a Malt-horse fly like a Pegasus Alas Sir my Ambition aims not at these great things The World well knows your great Zeal to advance the Glory of the Holy Order And that 's the main Spur that quickens me to your Service I have my Lesson Sir Bowes and goes off SCENE V. Lausun La Hoquette Count de Leri Lausun Reading a Letter I am certainly inform'd that the Prince of Orange will suddenly be in Ireland with a great Army Therefore if your Affairs do not succeed in that Kingdom be sure to be careful of K. James and hasten his safe return into France La Hoquette Our Master 's a Wise King but why he should be so chary of an Unfortunate Prince is past my Apprehension Diable I am sorry he is not in France at this present For never any thing prosper'd where-ever he was Lausun If you do not apprehend it I do there 's no such Mystery but may be easily unfolded Should he be too Fortunate he would be too Rampant for our Master Let him be Unfortunate but still preserve him in his Misfortunes and at one time or other he may chance to do our Masters work La Hoquette Mortbleu What a power of Mony has he cost our Master already to no purpose Lausun Th' art a Fool my Master has not spent a Doit upon him all our Master has spent has been for his own Interest Had it not been for our Masters pretended assisting him in this Kingdom and by that means cutting out other work for the P. of O. we should have had that Encroaching Enemy of ours at Versailles before this And besides if our Master get this Kingdom under this pretence 't is all clear Gains and Mony well laid out You know what he Conquers is all his own let the Pretence be what it will If our Master thought the Kingdom of Heaven worth Having he has Pen-men that would derive his Pedigre in a direct Line from the Virgin Mary rather than he should want a Pretention In short K. James must be a Goad in the sides of the English as long as he lives La Hoquette Mortbleu then let our Master find out a Goad that will peirce to the Quick and not such a Goad without a Point as K. James Let him set up his Son the Young P. of Wales Fortune 's a Whore and loves Young Flesh better than Old Lausun No no There are none in England but those of our own Religion that believe that Farce King J. has been Crown'd in that Kingdom and the Protestant Jesuits of his Party have found out a quaint Distinction already of a King de Jure and de Facto to make a Broyl upon the Coast and divide the Allegiance of the People 'T is for this our Master is so chary of K. James otherwise he would not care whither the Cham of Tartary or the Great Mogul were King of England 't were all one to Him Our Master 's a Charitable Monarch and if any Forreign Prince in his Distress craves his Assistance there is no Man so ready to lay hold of the Opportunity The Fox desir'd the Lamb but only to let him put in his Head and then he knew well enough how to get in his whole Body La Hoquette Nay I know our Master knows how to make use of a proper Tool as well as any Prince in Europe But what would he do with this Island if he had it Lausun Why Transplant all the Cowardly Irish to his Plantations in America and People the Kingdom with his own Subjects Or what if he should Dispeople the Country and leave it without Inhabitants La Hoquette I confess 't is a good way to prevent Rebellion Lausun You know our Master loves to be King of
that you will be known by your very Deaths Wounds Why look ye Dear Joys in whom do you believe 1. Officer We believe in the Virgin Mary and St. Pautrick 4. Priest And don't you believe the Cause of the holy Mother the Church to be a good Cause 2. Officer Yesh by my shoule do we 4. Priest Why then y' are worse than Turks if ye don't fight to the last gasp in a good Cause For the Turks believe they never shall dye till their time appointed be come and that has made 'em so victorious if your time be come it matters not whether you be slain by a Bullet or a fall down Stairs in your Vsquebah if your time be not come all the Bullets in the Kingdom can never touch ye 3. Officer By my shoule Father if the whole Army were as well shatisfied as we they would fight like so many Lyons for their Preys what say you Dear Joys Omnes We say as you say and we say as the Fathers say and the Fathers have made great shatisfassions upon us by St. Pautrick Hall You speak like noble Champions of the Church go then and inculcate these things into the minds of your Fellow Dear-Joys and we 'll be sure to be with you every day to confirm you in your Resolutions Exeunt Officers and Souldiers 4. Priest Look ye my Lord this is the only way to make these People fight For if the considerations of future Beatitude so sensual as we make it won't do nothing else I am sure will do it And therefore my Lord you see we have made it as sensual as that of Mahomets Primate I like your way very well Fathers therefore come to me and I 'le let ye have Pardons by the Bushel you may get what you can from the Commanders but let the Common Souldiers have 'em for nothing Brass Money signifies little at Rome Nugent There is one way more we have forgot which is the Turkish way to intoxicate their Souldiers with Opium before they engage for since the most Christian King makes use of the Turkish Force we may as well make use of the Turkish Policy Put Opium in their Snush and they rush into Battel and sight for a time like Game-Cocks so that the Enemy will never be able to withstand their Lubberly Multitude Tyrcon This way or that way or any way so we can but get 'em to stand the Brushes they are like to endure And therefore Fathers try the force of your Divinity-Magick 4. Priest We 'll do all that lyes in our Power you may be sure my Lord. 'T was we that made 'em formerly rebell And now we hope to make 'em fight as well ACT. II. Scene 9. Lauzune Lutterel Tyrconnel Lauzune WOuld you not have the King Sir keep his Agreements with my Master You know that when your self together with the Lord Mayor and Aldermen Addrest him about this Business in hopes that he would still conside in you and them to govern Dublin the King made answer that he had past his Word to his Brother Lewis that I should have the Government of Dublin and therefore could not recede from it Tyrcon Sir I am as yet chief Governour of this Kingdom under my Master King James and believe the Town to be already in safe hands Lutt What Contracts our Master made when he was abroad under your Masters Power are invalid in his own Dominions Lauzun Is it so Then 't is time for me to return home again with my Masters assistance Tyrcon Of what Lauzun Of five thousand old beaten Souldiers Tyrcon For which you had the same Number of new raised Men which a Winters Discipline would soon make as fit for service as the best Men in your Masters Army Lauzun Did not my Master furnish you with Wine Frute Brandy Hops Tobacco and other Commodities Tyrcon And did not you carry off our Butter Cheese Wool Raw Hides and Tallow and did not the King release seven pound ten shillings upon every Tun of your Wine Lauzun That 's nothing to the purpose if you quarrel with my Master you 'll lose the best Card in your Pack and therefore I demand the Keys of the City and Castle as by agreement between my Master and yours Tyrcon Not so fast Sir who 's King in Ireland your Master or ours Lauzune I know no King in Ireland but my Master K. Lewis and therefore once more in his Name I demand the Keys of the Castle and City Lutt One would think the Keys of the City should serve your turn there 's room enough to quarter your handful of men Lauzun Sir My Master does not use to be contented with Cities unless he may have the Citadels that command ' em Tyrcon Then it seems your Master intends to make a Conquest of this Kingdom marry so far as hitherto it comes easie enough to him Lauzun I know not what my Master intends to do I am nor of his Council but this I am sure of that private Men never lend great Sums but upon good Security Tyrcon Thus Prodigal Heirs when hungry sell their Birth-Rights for a Mess of Porridge Enter K. J. K. J. Why so much colour in your faces here my Lords This is no time for Heats and Quarrels Lutt Here 's General Lauzune Sir demands the Keys of your City and Castle of Dublin I know not how I have trangress'd in my sidelity to your Majesty but that I may be still entrusted with them as well as He Does your Majesty intend the French shall make a Palatinate of Ireland James Peace Lutterel you are too hot Lutt Would it not vex Sir any Man of Mettle to be degraded from his Honour to oblige an Alien Give him the rest too and save nothing for your self but empty Name James Intreague of State above thy reach and private Contract between my Brother Lewis and my self command thy swift Obedience Lutt Then take your Keys Sir and dispose of 'em at your pleasure it shall never be said that my hand ever did so poor an Act however give a loser leave to speak Had you kept your word but half so well with your English Subjects as you do with the French you had never been reduc'd to this Exit Lutt James to Lauzune My Lord Losers will sometimes be in passion tho' they lose their money never so fairly He 's honest tho' forgetful of his Duty at this time Besides Severity would be unseasonable at such a Juncture as this 'T is sufficient for you that I have kept my Promise with your Master You see the Keys are yours you may now go take possession when you please Excunt ACT. II. Scene 10. Lauzune Solus BEgar me dank de King for noting He delivre me de Key of dis Gran Citee and of de Chastel dat command it begar because he know no vich vay to elp imself begar me Maitre tank a de King vor noting begar he dare as vel tack a de Bear a
by my shoule and I think enough too K. J. A very good beginning by my Troth This is just Hey pass and be gone If the Conclusion be no better Ham. You are not Sir to judge of all the rest by the Cowardise of one Rascallion Slave Let 'em enjoy a Trivial Pass or two And let them all their Numerous Forces joyn There 's nothing won till they have won the Boyn ACT III. Scene 2. Representing a Sutler's Tent. Three Irish Captains 3 Irish Lieutenants 3 Irish Ensigns Sutler 1. Capt. Well Dear Joys what shall we drink this Morning Omnes E'en what you please Captain 1. Capt. Hey Sutler what 's the best Liquor by St. Patrick now Sutler All 's best my dear Joys Claret White-Wine Brandy Vsquebagh which you like best 1. Capt. Then bring us half a dozen Bottles of Claret better we drink it than the Hereticks have it They all drink three or four Healths about and then cease 1. Capt. Well my dear Joys have ye been at the King's Tent this Morning How goe Squares 2. Capt. Yesh I was at the King's Tent There was all in deep Considerations and Consultations not a great Officer to be spoken with and so I left 'em by St. Pautrick 3. Capt. What think you on 't Captain how does the Pulse of your Heart beat For by my shoule the Prince will make a quick push for t he encamps in the Plains of Dundalk this Night and then by my shoule he will be with us to Morrow 1. Capt. By my shoule my Heart beats but faintly The Devil tauke me now if I do love these French Men They begin to Tyrannise over us already 1. Lieutenant By St. Pautrick I had like to have run my skein through a French Captain's Guts but t'other Night for calling me Erish Teague however I flung a Glass of Wine in his Fash and had we not been parted I had let the Sun through his Body 2. Lieutenant By my shoule I will fight for his Majesty for my Relishions and for the Holy Fathers the Preistshs but I will not fight for the French 3. Lieutenant By St. Pautrick a Son of a ten thousand Fathers of a French Man told me to my Fash t'other day that he knew no King in Ireland but King Lewis I could ha' kickt him to Hell had I thought him worth the Devils acceptansh 1. Capt. Why this by my shoule it is dear Joys that makes the Pulse of my Heart beat so faintly By St. Pautrick I am in a quandary whether I shall fight or run for it 1. Ensign By my shoule dear Joy if I see you run I 'le follow with the Colours 2. Ensign By my shoule Captain I think it nonsense to fight for the French against his Majesty 1. Captain By St. Pautrick I think we shall be all of one mind by and by 3. Ensign I don't know noble Captain that ever we true born Irish ever disagree'd among our selves in these points 2. Capt. Suppose we should get the day and the French should come in and overrun our Wives and Foster Sisters what should we get by that 1. Lieutenant 'T is true I could be as cruel as another to another but not to my self but he 's cruel to himself that fights for him that intends him a mischief 3. Capt. And therefore 't is that I like the way of Massacring Hereticks much better than fighting with Hereticks 'T is a more Compendious way and done with less trouble 1. Capt. Why then dear Joy what think ye of make Petitions to his Majesty that the business may be decided by most at three throws I have a lucky hand at flinging sometimes 3. Ensign Or suppose you should lose the difference would be determined without Bloodshed and the Chance of Fortune the same 1. Ensign Or let three to three set foot to foot and they that fall first lose all 1. Cap. No Ensign there would be no Chance in that for then the Danes or the Dutch would be sure to win But what need all this dispute We are safe as yet there 's a Wall of Water between us nor any thing but their Cannons can hurt us and I hope that none of us were ever so Curst in our Mothers Bellies to be killed with a Cannon Bullet upon dry Land Hark by St. Pautrick the Drums are in an Uproar There 's Mischief at hand by Creesh Ensign look out and see what 's the matter Ensign goes out and returns 1. Ensign The Enemy's in view and we are all Commanded to our Posts 1. Capt. Nay then if they are so valiant as to fight with two the most mischievous of all the four Elements at once let every man do as God and St. Pautrick direct him Exeunt Omnes ACT III. Scene 3. Messenger D. of Berwick Sarsfield Mess PArdon great Sir the Tydings which I bring Of a lost Kingdom and a vanquish'd King D. of B. Speak out the dreaded Truth I fear my Royal Father still proves unsuccessful Mess Just as you say Sir Free Passage o're the Boyn the Enemies has gain'd Your Royal Father's Forces routed and dispersed and he himself hasting once more to reimbark for France Sarsfield Curse o' my Stars that I must be detach'd that day I would have wrested Victory out of Heretick Fortunes hands D. of B. Wert thou in the Engagement Friend Mess I was one of your Royal Father's Guard that day and being posted where he stood beheld the whole Action D. of B. Then give us the best acount of it thou canst For in his Letter to me my Father only tells me I must shift for my self Mess upon the 30th of June the Enemy encamped within sight of us the River Boyn being between Us and Them but it seems the P. of Orange did not think fit to Enterprise any thing that day in regard the Body of the Infantry and Artillery did not come up till late however we could discover him riding to and fro' to view the Posture of our Army and judg'd it was he by the Attendance that hover'd about him which made us fire with two Pieces of six pound Ball among the Thickest but as if all our Bullets had been Huguenots not one would touch him but one that only kissed the top of his shoulder and whispered him in the Ear as if Fortune had only sent to welcome him to the Boyn and encourage him the more to our Ruine Sarsfield Damn'd Traytor of a six Pounder No wonder we go thus to rack when our Bullets won't do their Office Mess The next day we were first attack'd by a great Body of the Enemy under Count Schomberg who having pass'd the River near to Slane forc'd his way through eight hundred Dragoons that guarded the Ford and being reinforc'd with fresh Succours after a small resistance routed all that opposed him and drave them as far as Duleek Sarsf That word small resistance makes me mad why small resistance i' the Devils Name Small Resistance
him with all the Testimonies of a Tender and Ardent Affection And made him new Protestations to support him against his Enemy and to employ all his Forces to restore him nor did he shew him any signs of being dissatisfied with his Conduct Ber. There 's new Consolation for ye my Lords to raise your sinking Spirits Lauzune I wish they may come quickly or else I fear I shall be in the Sudds before their Arrival fetching a deep sigh Ber. Why d' ye sigh my Lord Lauzune Sighing again I know my Master 's a great Dissembler my Lord and I am well satisfied moreover that he has other Fish to fry than to employ all his Forces to assist your Royal Father Morbleu I don't like the beginning of the Story Go on Messenger Mess The Visit lasted above two Hours and by the report of some that understand Affairs 't was not altogether spent in Complements 'T is said also that your Royal Father is to go aboard the French Fleet and endeavour to land in England where he hopes to find a Considerable Party that will declare for him Ber. I like this well 'T was so order'd to save my Father's Vow who has determined never to head an Irish Army more Mess The next Morning he went to Versailles to visit her Majesty and return'd that Evening to the Queen his Royal Consort Ber. And how did she receive him Mess After a little studying Um why an 't like your Grace there were some little Bickerings between 'em at first but the next Morning she seem'd well contented Ber. Ay she 's a Woman never bears Malice long in her Mind Mess There 's something more that I have to say but I 'm loth to out with it Ber. Out with it man for fear of Choaking Mess 'T is said there stops Ber. Prithee go on Mess 'T is said that all the Welcomes and Caresses which the King made your father cannot reconcile him to the Esteem of the Court Grandees They say that William was truly born to Command and James to obey and that it was for your Father who had nothing more to lose to have acted the Person of King William in Ireland and for William the third to have spar'd himself as your Royal Father did Ber. And did they call him King William Mess Yes an 't like your Grace Ber. I 'le go and Challenge 'em every Mother's Son as soon as I 'me at leisure Well but how does my Royal Father look does he seem any way dejected Mess Quite the contrary Sir He carries it with an Air and Countenance rather of a Prince Triumphant over his Enemies than of a Person that had fled before 'em Ber. Law ye now there my Lords You see my Royal Father's Heart whole still and the King of France sticks to him I find we shall have t'other Brush for 't still Lauzune All this does not yet satisfie me I 'm sure my Master 's too knowing in the Art of War not to understand that if his Arms have not prosper'd in Ireland it must be in part the fault of him that commanded them So that if he received him kindly at his return and appear'd satisfied with his Couduct it was rather out of Policy than from the bottom of his Heart But my Master has still need of him to oppose the King of England and therefore it is that he is so good a Husband of him and so behaves himself towards him as if he were the greatest General in the World Sarsfield You are so full of Scruples my Lord you suppose and believe and believe and suppose this and that and t'other I believe and suppose no such thing I believe the King of France to be real and that he seriously intends to do as he says Tyr. Otherwise he were the most ungrateful Person in the World for when it lay in our Master's Power he did all that he could for him Nay I may boldly say that had it not been for our Master he had never come to what he is I will instance yee only in one thing and that was in mannaging all the Dutch Wars for your Master's advantage Tal. Gad I believe the most Christian King to be one of the Honestest Gentlemen in Europe and my reason is because he always lov'd a handsom Girl Ber. Look yee my Lords you must grant me that Kings Heads are better than other Mens Heads And if so then two Kings Heads are better than one so that I am confident after these two Kings have laid their Heads together a little while you 'll see strange Alterations in Europe Tal. Wou'd he were hang'd that does not not believe your Grace speaks like an Angel Sarsfield For my part I hope to be revelling in London Let me see How long first do you appoint a time my Lord Tyrcon Truly my Lord I can't Sars Before before Tuesday come Sennight Lauzune Not so soon Colonel Sars I 'le hold ye my Lord a hundred Guineys to one on 't Lauzune Wagers are Fools Arguments Colonel Sars By the Bones of my Father I 'le take the Lye from ne'er a French Bougre Diable of ye all Draws They all draw take Parties fall a fighting and so put an end to the last Act. Epilogue I Wonder what our Audience will say Of this our Thundring drumming fighting Play Here are no Scenes indeed as will invite We bring 'em or but yet they will not fight These Irish are of just the self same Kidney Like the two Cowards in Sir Philip Sidny They Huff present Rage foam look big and Swear But something whispers to 'em have a Care Such Sparks the Ladies Hatred cannot lack They hate the Man that always turns his Back No they by other methods must be won They like the Man that briskly pushes on 'T is strange what Nature made these Irish for They 're neither good in Peace nor fit for War The highest Office they are fit for most Is to be Trotters in the Penny Post Oh! were they all upon a Famous Plain Where never yet was daring Monarch slain From whence to Rome if we could them Convey We gladly would the charge of Carriage pay BOOKS Printed for Richard Baldwin THE Folly of Priest Craft a Comedy To the two Universities an Epistle together with a Prediction concerning the French Translated out of Callimachus who is by St. Paul said to be a Prophet and that his Testimony is true Titus Ch. 1. v. 12. 13. The Address given in to the late King James by the titular Arch-Bishop of Dublin from the general Meeting of the Romish Bishops and Clergy of Ireland held in May last by that King's Order wherein several things relating to the Popish Designs upon these three Kingdoms are discovered the Original whereof was found in the late King James's Closet in the Castle of Dublin at his leaving that City And the Copy whereof was found in the titular Arch-Bishop's Lodgings Now published with Reflections on each Paragraph A True Relation of