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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A47499 A modern account of Scotland being an exact description of the country, and a true character of the people and their manners / written from thence by an English gentleman. Kirke, Thomas, 1650-1706. 1679 (1679) Wing K629; ESTC R31554 11,876 19

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A Modern Account OF SCOTLAND BEING An exact Description of the Country And a True CHARACTER OF THE People and their Manners Written from thence by an English Gentleman Printed in the Year 1679. A Modern Account OF SCOTLAND IF all our European Travellers direct their course to Italy upon the account of its Antiquity why should Scotland be neglected whose wrinkled surface derives its original from the Chaos The first Inhabitants were some Straglers of the fallen Angels who rested themselves on the Confines till their Captain Lucifer provided places for them in his own Countrey This is the conjecture of Learned Criticks who trace things to their Originals and this opinion was grounded on the Devils Bratts yet resident amongst them whose fore-sight in the events of good and evil exceeds the Oracles at Delphos the supposed Issue of those Pristine Inhabitants Names of Countrys were not then in fashion those came not in till Adam's days and History being then in her Infancy makes no mention of the changes of that renowned Country in that Interval betwixt him and Moses when their Chronicle commences she was then Baptized and most think with the sign of the Cross by the Venerable name of Scotland from Scota the Daughter of Pharaoh K. of Egypt Hence came the rise and name of these present Inhabitants as their Chronicle informs us and is not to be doubted of from divers considerable circumstances the Plagues of Egypt being entailed upon them that of Li●e being a Judgment unrepealed is an ample testimony these loving Animals accompanied them from Egypt and remain with them to this day never forsaking them but as Rats leave a House till they tumble into their Graves The Plague of Biles and Blains is hereditary to them as a distinguishing mark from the rest of the World which like the Devils cloven Hoof warns all men to beware of them The Judgment of Hail and Snow is naturalized and made free Denison here and continues with them from the Suns first ingress into Aries till he has passed the 30th degree of Aquary The Plagues of Darkness was said to be thick darkness to be felt which most undoubtedly these people have a share in as the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Darkness implies the darkness being appliable to their gross and blockish understandings as I had it from a Scholar of their own Nation Upon these grounds this Original is undeniably allowed them and the Country it self in Pyramid's resembles Egypt but far exceeds them both in bulk and number theirs are but the Products of mens labours but these are Natures own handy-work and if Atlas wou'd ease a shoulder here he may be sitted with a supporter Italy is compared to a Leg Scotland to a Louse whose legs and engrailed edges represent the Promontories and buttings out into the Sea with more nooks and angles than the most conceited of my Lord Mayors Custards nor does the comparison determine here A Louse preys upon its own Fosterer and Preserver and is productive of those Minute-Animals called Nitts so Scotland whose Proboscis joyns too close to England has suckt away the nutriment from Northumberland as the Countrey it self is too true a Testimony and from its opposite A has calved those Nitty Islands called the Orcades and the Shetland quasi Shite-land Islands The Arms of the Kingdom was anciently a Red Lyon Rampant in a Field of Gold but An. Dom. 787. they had the Augmentation of the double Treshure for assisting the French King but his Majesties Arms in Scotland is a more Hysteron Proteron the Pride of the people being such as to place the Scots Arms in the dexter quarter of the Escutcheon and make the Unicorn the dexter Supporter with the Thistle at his he●l with a suitable Motto Nemo me impun● lacessit true enough whoever deals with them shall be sure to smart fo●●… The Thistle was wisely placed there partly to shew the fertility of the Countrey Nature alone producing plenty of these gay Flowers and partly as an emblem of the people the top thereof having some colour of a flower but the bulk and substance of it is only sharp and poysonous pricks Woods they have none that suits not with the frugality of the people who are so far from propagating any that they destroy those they had upon this politick State Maxim That Corn will not grow on the Land pestered with its Roots and their branches harbour Birds Animals above their humble conversation that exceeds not that of Hornless Quadrupedes ma●…y perhaps some of their Houses lurk under the shelter of a plump of Trees the Birds not daring so high a presumption like Hugh Peters Pu●s in her Majesty or an Owl in an Ivy bush Some Firr-woods there are in the High-lands but so inaccessible that they serve for no other use than Dens for those ravenous Wolves with two hands that prey upon their Neighbourhood and shelter themselves under this Covert to whom the sight of a Stranger is as surprizing as that of a Cockatrice The Vallies for the most part are covered with B●●r or Bige and the Hills with Snow and as in the Northern Countries the Bears and Foxes change their Coats into the livery of the soyle so here the Moor-Fowl called Termagants turn white to sute the simple though the Inhabitants still stand to their Aegyptian Flue They are freed from the charge and incumbrance of Enclosures the whole being but one large Waste surrounded with the Sea Indeed in many places you may see half a Rood of Land divided with an Earthen Bank into many differing Apartments according to the quality of Beasts that are to possess them The whole Countrey will make up a Park Forrest or Chace as you 'l please to call it but if you desire an Account of particular Parks they are innumerable every small House having a few Sodds thrown into a little Bank about it and this for the state of the business forsooth must be called a Park though not a Pole of Land in 't If the Air was not pure and well refined by its agitation it wou'd be so infected with the stinks of their Towns and the steams of the nasty Inhabitants that it would be pestilentful and destructive indeed it is too thin for their gross sences that must be fed with suitable Viands their Meat not affecting their distempered pallats without it have a damnable hogoe nor musick their Ears without loud and harsh discord and their Nostrils like a Jews chiefly delight in the perceptible effluviums of an old Sir R Fowl are as scarce here as Birds of Paradise the Charity of the Inhabitants denying harbour to such Celestial Animals though Gulls and Cormorants abound there being a greater sympathy betwixt them There is one sort of ravenous Fowl amongst them that has one web foot one foot suited for Land and another for Water but whether or no this Fowl being particular to this Countrey be not the lively picture of the Inhabitants I shall