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A85163 Death in a new dress: or Sportive funeral elegies. Commemorating the renowned lives and lamented deaths of these eminent personages, Robbin the annyseed-water seller. Martin Parker the famous poet. Archee the late kings jester. The gentlewoman that so often travail'd up Holborn-Hill upon her bum, &c. With the celebration of some (harmless but plesant healths) hitherto not in fashion: and other drollerical crotchets, very delightful. / By S.F. S. F. 1656 (1656) Wing F54; Thomason E885_11 4,503 15

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DEATH in a New DRESS OR Sportive Funeral ELEGIES Commemorating the renowned Lives and lamented Deaths of these Eminent Personages Robbin the Annyseed-water Seller Martin Parker the famous Poet. Archee the late Kings Jester The Gentlewoman that so often travail'd up Holborn-Hill upon her Bum c. WITH The Celebration of some harmless but plesant Healths hitherto not in fashion And other Drollerical Crotchets very delightful By S. F. LONDON Printed for ISAAC PRIDMORE at the Signe of the Falcon neer the New Exchange 1656. DEATH in a new DRESSE OR Sportive Funeral ELEGIES Commemorating the Renowned Lives and Lamented Deaths of these Eminent Personages Robbin the Annyseed-water Seller Martin Parker the famous Poet. Archee the late Kings Jester And the Gentlewoman that so often travail'd up Holborn-Hill upon her Bum c. With other pleasant Crotchets On the Death of Annyseed-water Robbin AN ELEGIE HAve I not waited long enough five years And yet no Heliconian Quack appears In print to manifest his mighty skill This Theam would seat him on the Muses Hill Higher then Phoebus self Ye glorious * Samuel Smithson Humphrey Crowch Lawrence Price three Who grasp the Poles of Star-crown'd Poesie Has som Cask-piercing † Drawer Smal-beer Youth poison'd your wine With wicked Laethe Did you ever dine On Turnep-tops without or Salt or Butter That amongst all your Canzonets or clutter You fail'd to mention this deceased Robbin It seems you ne'r-quaft Nectar in his Noggin As I have done then may my Verse be mighty Spirited by his potent Aqua-vitae Was not thy voyce dear Robbin very sweet Wert thou not wondred at in every Street Anyseed-water Water fine Water that passes Ale or Wine Thy tongue took every man for 't was a charm But then that woodden Vessel on thy Arm Was more magnetick 't was a Pest'lence Can Could put the Staggers on the Puritan Yet Ananias Goggle-eyes would swear it By Yea and Nay Brother I can't forbear it This is some Son of Belial and his Punk Who has in charge to make the godly drunk How many whim-crown'd Shee s the chaste chaste Wives Of witty Citizens did owe their lives To thy Spagirick Water when the * Fits of the Mother Qualm Could not be laid by Spell or Hopkins Psalm Drench her but with a Cup of Robbin's Nectar And next Morn send her to St. Anthlin's Lecture She shal do wel How many aged Sybils Tasting thy Stream would have their Quirks and Quibbles Dancing devoutly who some hours before Sat like Stone Statues ore a Portal dore Nor wert thou fram'd as I my self can tell Without the Adjunct of a miracle Probleme of Sexes Natures Jumble Adam And Eve conglutinated Sir or Madam Harry or Madge a Knight and Lady Errant With Rem in Re and double Badge for warrant A Philip and Mary thou couldst do The office of the Man and Woman too Rare Enigmatick Robbin when grown great With-child thy self thou couldst perform the feat Which gives the world Inhabitants so we We must confess are doubly bound to thee But this though great is not the chiefest matter Where now shal we attain such heavenly water Such Chymical Nepenthe that has made More haughty Beggers of the Ryming trade Then Helicon it self while thou didst give Thy Vessel vent John Lookes himself did live And learned Taylor play'd upon his Lyre With happy Ale and Wildings by the fire Weep then with me all you that had the hap To taste of that which flow'd from Robbin's Tap O partial Fate that which did others save Could not protect our Robbin from the Grave HEALTHS HEre 's a Health to that Serving-man ne'r had 's head-bare And a Health to that Poet whose cloak was ne'r thredbare Here 's a Health to that Punk never took Money Though proffer'd it for the use of her Here 's a Health to that Cook that ne'r likt his fingers To the late Cost-wold-Games and the Clerkenwel Ringers Here 's a Health to that Player that never was proud And to a Billinsgate Scold that never talk'd loud Here 's a Health to that Letcher that never was lustfull And to that Grandee of State that never was distrustfull Here 's a Health to that Host that loves to be Scoring And to that Royster that never lov'd Roring Here 's a Health to that Captain that never drew Sword And a Catch-pole that 's honest in 's deed and his word On the Death of the most Renowned Poet Mr. Martin Parker An ELEGIE HOw has it happen'd speak ye tardy Nine That glorious Parker he whose every line Deserves a Panegyre has all this while Slept like a Slave beneath his Funeral Pile And no new Johnson Dun or learned Gill To Dub the distillations of his Quill To Canonize his Canzonets which are Yet extant on each Market-day or Fair. Spirit of Orpheus Archimedes skill Would fail should he bring in his tedious Bill To number all thy curious Canticles Thy Octaves Epiceds and Madrigals Which as was us'd of old did kindly greet The peoples ears as they did pass the street Sung to the pleasant Treble and the Base The Small or Great the Sharp or Flat to grace Thy sublime Sonnets was not every Song Of thine applauded by the thirsty throng So as to Thracian Orpheus Trees did nod When thou wert worried by the Delphick god And Stones did move nay gave a vocal sound Till with loud laughter every verse was crown'd Here thou wert Pindar Alceus Moschus Bion Apollos lov'd one and the Muses Lion But these were but thy sports some minutes spent In Mimmick state to palliate meriment Let us behold thee in thy German Story There thou art Lucan while thy Muse all glory Does sing the Austrian Ruines in a tone More strong then Stentors with O hone O hone Say'st thou so Silius here are other things The Deeds of Pacolet and Pagan Kings Oh! in what stately Verse thou didst discourse on The Doughty deeds of Valentine and Orson Dull Prose before and fit for Boyes and Girles Thine for the solace of great Lords and Earls Speak ye nine Sisters for ye only know Whence did this sprightly sparkling Torrent flow How has our Parker above all inspir'd His Lines so much cry'd up so much desir'd I have 't He alwayes bath'd his Beak in Ale Toping whole Tubs off like some thirsty Whale Phoebus and Hermes gave their joint consent Their Priest should keep a Tippling Tenement Martin might well do more then Goffe or Graunger VVho like a Horse fed at the Muses Manger Hyperion's Host is sunk beneath his Barrels Ceas then your hom-bred Feuds stint your quarrels Ye that pretend to be his Heirs in Sooth-la Ye do dishonour the deceased Youth-la All that ye ought to minde are Sighes and Tears Death-beds and Funerals and Scriveners ears VVeep weep until the floud-gates of your eyes Do drown the world for Parker's Obsequies EXECRATIONS A Curse on that Coxcomb that never spends penny But he inwardly weeps for the loss of